Chanel #99 Posted April 7, 2013 Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D We're taken straight to Sofa Central which features a festive holiday theme. In addition to a menorah and dangling stars of David there are Christmas lights strewn about the table, Christmas trees, miniature Santas, and fake SNOW. COLE Welcome one and all to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! live from Jacksonville, Florida! I'm Michael Cole sitting beside Da Coach for an explosive evening of action! SNOOP DOGGGreetings loved ones Lets take a journey KATY PERRYCalifornia girls We're unforgettable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top Sun-kissed skin So hot Will melt your popsicle Oooooh Oh Oooooh California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh Gliding onto the stage in skinny jeans and a thin blue and white stripped collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up is Alix Maria Spezia. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion....ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Alix happily waves to the roaring audience on her way through the aisle. COLE What a story we have here. Alix Maria Spezia, the chosen protector of the OAOAST Galaxy, defeating her arch-rival Odin and then going on to win the world title over Badass Jack and become a two time world heavyweight champion. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the audience sings as Alix is given a mcrophone ALIX Chants are soooooooooo out of style, people. Its like “hey, lets remind Alix that she not only has a boy's name, but that its also stupidly spelled with an I instead of an E.” I mean who spells their child's name that way? Obviously a three time felon father, and a stripper mother! Love you guys! So, yeah, no chants. If you really want to show me how much ya love me to teeny tiny little bits and pieces then all the hot girls in the audience will make out with each other. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Then they'll make out with me! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX But before we get down to some good-good lovin, I have prepared an inauguration speech! What's that you say? Inauguration speeches are only for presidents? Well, I say shut up and mind your own business. Damn, why do people have correct to me all the time? “Alix, you can't replace your gas tank with a hamster wheel and expect to run your car on hamster power” “Alix, just because you're wearing blue tights with an S on the chest, and a red cape doesn't mean you're going to fly if you jump off the roof” I'm sick of it! Stop correcting me! I say I have an inauguration speech so that's what I got! “SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!” ALIX God, don't tell me what to do! “........................” ALIX That's better. A couple of centuries ago, or maybe it was a couple months ago, I've blurred the space-time concept with the invention of my hamster powered time machine. Take that naysayers! But some time ago, this dude with a stringly mullet, could've been that dude from Poison or it could've been Alfdogg, whoever it was approached me without the intent of buying prescription narcotics off me. Which I thought was unusual and I immediately suspected them of foul play. But it turns out all they wanted me to do was protect the OAOAST Galaxy from this dude named Odin. “ODIN SUCKS! ODIN SUCKS! ODIN SUCKS!” ALIX So yep, Odin sucks a lot of things. He sucks people's desires to actually watch this show, although Krista says its only shown in POW camps as a way to torture prisoners thus violating the Geneva convention, he sucks away people's love for the OAOAST Galaxy, and he sucks goat penis. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Why would you cheer that? “Hey, gang, Odin likes to rape farm animals!” “Whooo-hooo, awesome, bro, lets watch Family Guy, fuck yeah, U-S-A! U-S-A!” So Odin's a bad, bad, man. And he wanted to take over the OAOAST Galaxy. Which Krista says is like wanting to squat in a house that just saw a dude shoot his entire family and then turn the gun on himself. But, anyway, I got put in charge of protecting the whole wide Galaxy from that meanie! So, I almost had to be a superhero. So to learn from superheros I went to the best. “BIFFMAN! BIFFMAN! BIFFMAN!” ALIX Close but no cigar, which is good because smoking kills. I actually watched Justice League of Pornstar Heroes. And I studied it very closely, and it seemed Wonder Woman would subdue the villains with her sexual prowess. Well, I'm all about that, so I dressed up as Wonder Woman, so I gathered up a magic lasso, wrangled a couple of guys, dragged them back to my secret lair and humped them silly! Things got pretty hectic for a while there, sometimes I had three or four guys down there. I had one guy on my wabbit tail, another guy on my kitty cat, and a third guy letting me perform a skin flute recital on him. But then I was informed that protecting the OAOAST Galaxy had nothing to do with letting a bunch of people bone me. But, I still let em do it anyway. Mom always told me to keep my legs open to new things. But, I also still had to stop Odin. And I got the best of him at In Your Parents Basement. Then he got the best of me at Halloween Spectacular, thanks to Maggie and Morgan not being willing to hump him until he couldn't breath. If you're going to be so picky that you wouldn't screw a god, you're not gonna screw anybody! So, yeah Odin and those talking chimps called VICE really put me in a hole. Literally! And then Odin won the world title, and he got control of the OAOAST Galaxy. Yikes! But with the help of my trusty army of bondage fetishists, sea hags, goblins and astronauts, I was able to successfully acquire a can of Pepsi Max that doesn't taste like pee. Oh yeah, some other dudes helped me beat Odin. Awesome, huh! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX So then like I had to deal with this dude named Badass Jack. I guess he's called Badass because he has hemorrhoids, so his ass is bad. And I felt bad for him, but I knew I had to win the world title to prevent the OAOAST Galaxy from falling into the hands of evil. And I fought pretty awesomely to. But, things seemed to be going kinda sucky when that pimpled ass jerk stole my chair! I was gonna sit down and crochet! But luckily Krista got into the ring and slammed her hands into his testicles. For a man-hater she sure isn't opposed to laying her hands on menfolk's private parts. Although they usually wind up ground into pieces after she's done. Anyway, Krista helped me, I won the title. Hooray! So, let's welcome out Krista!Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Wearing a yellow mini skirt and a black tank top, Miss California struts her sexy stuff onto the entrance stage. COACH I heard they had to have extra security around Krista all day, so that Badass Jack coludn't get to her. COLE I don't think that's true, I think Krista is willing to take on anyone. But, it would be wise to protect her from that inhumane monster. Krista takes hold of a microphone. KRISTA The last time you won the world title you subverted me, tricked me, betrayed me, used me, and all around swindled me. ALIX Fun times! KRISTA Yes, the times when I hovered over your sleeping body with a broadsword, preparing to slay you were days of extreme joy. ALIX You have a broadsword? KRISTA I told you there was a reason to go to renaissance fairs besides discovering people lamer and more sad than the inhabitants of the OAOAST locker room. Regardless, last time you won the title I wasn't exactly supportive of your efforts to continue on the time honored traditions of snorting coke off a hooker's stomach that has marked each and every OAOAST world champion's reign since the dawn of the miserable, lowly, company. This time is going to be different. I won't meet with the Rolling 20's Crip gang to find out the best way to relieve you of your possessions and dump you in an alley without leaving finger prints. Nor will it be marked by me cutting the breaks in your car, and then once I regian the title completely forgetting to fix them. ALIX Thanks! KRISTA This time I'm going to give you the respect someone holding the OAOAST world title deserves. ALIX You're going kick me in the butt, and throw me through a window? KRISTA On second thought maybe I won't give you the respect someone holding the OAOAST title deserves. What I will give you is a treat. And you're going to give me a treat as well. And in turn ALIX Scooby Snacks for all! KRISTA Not exactly. I think we're gonna have to have one hell of a celebration for you. And the only way to do that is to consummate our love. COACH Oh yeah! KRISTA So, I propose we make out. You like the sound of that Jacksonville? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Scooby snack or Krista snack? Scooby snack or Krista snack? KRISTA ALIX Krista Snack! Wait, I'm overdressed for such a momentous and formal occasion! KRISTA Snack time. KRISTA & ALIX KRISTA You wanna see more? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA & ALIX KRISTA Okay, I think you've had your fair of hot older women making out. Time to get to the beefy queers groping each other portion of the show. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX Well, we could give you more. But, Lucius Soul is all set to wrestle Max Anderson and we know ya don't wanna miss it. “MORE! MORE! MORE!” KRISTA Well then, Alix, I think we should give them more. KRISTA & ALIX “You were a king, now you're unconscious” comes through the sound system, providing the audience plenty of reasons to jeer. The killjoy known as Odin steps through the parted entrance doors, flanked by both members of VICE. COACH I never thought I'd say this but I ain't happy to see Odin. Go strike Alf with a lightening bolt and lemme enjoy some titties. ODIN This must end! KRISTA I don't know what your problem is. We're giving you plenty of fodder for your daily circle jerk with Bosley, and CPA. ALIX I think its a triangle jerk. There's only three of them. ODIN Do not speak such crass words against me, mortal! Not when you are in possession of my championship belt! ALIX Nuh-uh, its mine! I won it! ODIN You did nothing of the sort! You hit upon a stroke of fortunate luck that saw you best me in combat, erasing me from the world title contest, and robbing me of my rightful trophy! KRISTA If you want a trophy so bad, wait until the Angle Awards. They hand out around sixty of those things, and if you run fast enough, you can get out the pawn shop before the owner realizes what a piece of junk he's bought off you. ODIN I will have my share of Angle Awards when the time comes. But I will also have my world title, and with it control over the OAOAST Galaxy. Bosley, CPA, retrieve what is mine. BOSLEY HELL YEAH! TIME TO GET US SOME! Bosley and CPA make a quick dash for the ring. COACH Krista and Alix better bail! Rather than depart the ring, the six time tag team champions immediately pounce upon CPA and Bosley. The larger grapplers are able to shrug off their blows and rise to their feet. Unfortunately the moment they each rise, Bosley is hit in the face with Alix's title belt and CPA is struck by a KIDology! But, perhaps most humiliating of all is the fact that America's Sweethearts completely disrobe them before kicking them out the ring. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” KRISTA Brilliant idea, you sure are a master strategist, if Hitler had you on his side Mein Kampf would be required reading in all schools. ODIN This is infuriating! KRISTA Most dealings with us usually are. ODIN I am not without further strategy. A simple disposal of my minions will only save you but for so long. I will invoke my rematch clause. I am familiar with the contractual obligations of this realm's laws and I will take full advantage of them. ALIX So you're going to fly to New York to have sex with a 16 year old boy? ODIN Do not dare to insult the mighty Odin! I will retake my championship at the event you mortals refer to as New Years Spectacular. There glory will be mine, as will the putrid cesspool known as the OAOAST Galaxy. ALIX I'm cool and all with you getting a title shot at NYS, acronyms are awesome, but you're gonna be competing against more than just me. I'm the champ, so I have special rights, like being able to assault black people and get away with it, and I can name my challengers sometimes. So, at NYS, its going to be Me versus you versus Krista for the world title! Krista makes a motion towards the audience. ALIX What are you motioning at? KRISTA Just telling the snipers I have positioned around the arena to stop targeting you. Nothing really important. ODIN This is nothing more than an outrage! KRISTA Boy, are you just full of cliches today. “I'm the mighty Odin” “This is an outrage” “The galaxy will be mine MWAHHAHAAA!” Just take that hammer, smash yourself in the mouth with it until you knock all your teeth out, and then shut the hell up you stupid, obnoxious, toothless bastard! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Odin is left fuming and furious atop the entrance stage as we fade to commercial break.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 Backstage, Tony Brannigan is with Kareem. BRANNIGAN I’m joined right now by the “Middle Eastern Wet Dream” Kareem, who in just a few short moments will meet John “Rock Hard” Brickston in one on one competition. MAN (off-screen) Hey, hey, hey, hey! What is going on here? One-third of the 6 man tag team champions JAMES BLONDE enters the picture. BRANNIGAN James Blonde! I’m trying to conduct an interview. BLONDE Without the Dream's American spokesman present? BRANNIGAN American spokesman?! BLONDE (clicks tongue) Good to know old age hasn’t taken your hearing. BRANNIGAN Now why in the hell would Kareem need an American spokesman, and you of all people? BLONDE Theodore Moneymaker can’t be everywhere, you know. Besides, a beautiful face like mine deserves TV time. BRANNIGAN He can’t be everywhere or just doesn’t want to be seen after what happened at November Reign? BLONDE When did you become Jim Grey all of a sudden? Anyway, my main priority is making sure nobody tries to take advantage of the fact that, as a foreigner, Kareem has yet to fully master the English language. With the weirdos around here I wouldn’t put it past anybody to slip something in a match contract that takes money out of Kareem’s pocket. BRANNIGAN Foreigner?! Everybody knows Kareem’s from Chicago. KAREEM Listen, brotha. I was born and raised in the ghettos of Saudi Arabia. *bobbles head & makes funky cool hand gestures* BRANNIGAN You’ve gotta be kidding me. BLONDE The Dream doesn’t joke about his life or his work, as Brickston is about to find out. But all work and no play would make any man or woman go crazy. That’s why starting tonight Kareem is gonna grant one lucky female member of the OAOAST Galaxy her wish following all his matches. Let’s roll, big man. BRANNIGAN Don’t leave us hanging, man. What exactly do you mean? JB and Kareem exit the scene. BRANNIGAN Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait after the match, assuming Kareem can get past Brickston. Back to you at Sofa Central. COACH Getting past Brickston won’t be…rock hard. *Give me fuel Give me fire Give me that which I desire!* BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Sacramento, California, weighing 215 pounds… JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRRICKSSSSSSTOOOOOONNNNNN!! * scattered cheers and applause *If you wanna be with me Baby there's a price to pay I'm a genie in a bottle You gotta rub me the right way If you wanna be with me I can make your wish come true You gotta make a big impression (Oh yeah) Gotta like what you do Christina Aguilera's classic pop hit "Genie in the Bottle" hits as white smoke fills up the entry way, and through a thick haze emerges Kareem. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanied by his American spokesman JAMES BLONDE… from Saudi Arabia, weighing 440 pounds… KAAAAAAAARREEEEEEEMMMMMMMM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kareem bobbles his head and performs his trademark funky cool hand movements down the aisle. Meanwhile, Blonde stares at his reflection on the 6 man tag title and fixes his hair. COLE What a sham this whole American spokesman deal is. Kareem speaks fluent English! COACH Come on, Cole. Kareem’s only been in the country a few months. COLE He’s been in the country the entire time! * DINGDINGDING * Kareem and Brickston lockup at the sound of the bell and Brickston is backed against the ropes. COLE Will we get a clean break? The answer is no. Kareem clubs Brickston across the chest. Again. And again. COACH The only clean break was Brickston’s sternum following that blow. Brickston is whipped to the far side, but he ducks a clothesline and nails Kareem with one of his own. A second clothesline staggers the Middle Eastern Wet Dream, though it looks more like dancing with him rocking side to side and arms flailing. Brickston attempts a third clothesline, only this time Kareem drives him face-first into the canvas! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Kareem power slams Brickston mid-ring and then delivers a XXXL SPLASH~!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE Another dominant performance by Kareem. “Genie in the Bottle” cues and Kareem gets down in the ring. BUFFER Here is your winner… KAAAAAAAARREEEEEEEMMMMMMMM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" JB grabs the mic. BLONDE And now the moment you ladies have dreamed of since first laying eyes on the Middle Eastern Wet Dream. Which one of you wants your wish granted? We cut to numerous women in attendance, some eager to volunteer and others disgusted. BLONDE Let’s see. No, too fat. Too plain. I don’t even know if that one’s actually a woman. All right, you in the pink. KAREEM My favorite color. JB opens the ropes for a stunning brunette in a pink top and skinny jeans. BLONDE Are you ready for your dream to come true? BRUNETTE BABE Oh yeah. BLONDE And just what is your dream? BRUNETTE BABE For that big hunk to have his way with me. KAREEM Your wish is my command. With that the Dream plants a big wet one on the woman and she faints. BLONDE I guess the only thing left to say is… sweet dreams! COLE You couldn’t pay me enough to kiss that man. COACH Of course not. You'd do it free! COLE *sighs*COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 omorrow, only tomorrow tomorrow, only tomorrow Sajo see you tomorrow Sajo jon te i fe, Ousmane ko ka bi fe ka bi fe koniete ka le te sigi Sajo jon te i fe malienw The glorious and soul searing tenor of join with even more glorious images of Abdullah Abir Nerdly speaking the message of the prophets to the citizens of various countries, as well as being flocked to by children and fawned over by women.HOUSE OF WORSHIP With your Inspirational Leader…Abdullah Abir Nerdly COLE Not this nonsense again. COACH Quiet, you idiot. We’re at a house of worship. COLE It’s just a set. COACH A traveling house of worship. Escorted by a bevy of beauties in belly dancer costumes, Abdullah walks a yellow brick road towards his House of Worship, a mellow Arabic chant playing overhead. Once at the podium Abdullah thanks his beauties with a simple gesture, a nod of the head, and they wander off backstage. Then a single beam of light shines down on the Spiritual One. ABDULLAH Children of the OAOAST Galaxy rejoice! Rejoice for I am back on the pulpit and on your television screens, living proof you cannot keep a good man down. Praise be! COACH Praise be! ABDULLAH And down one agent of the devil tried to keep your humble Inspirational Leader. COLE Humble?! ABDULLAH However, that Beast from Sin City failed. Now he bathes in the sea of tears caused by Brothers Reject and TK at November Reign. And what a glorious night it was for my church and its members. We slayed the beast and thumped Big Papa Thrust! COLE I think the mask Abdullah Nerdly had on at November Reign obstructed his view. Big Papa Thrust was the one doing the thumping. COACH Reject and TK did slay the beast though. COLE Thanks to Abdullah’s interference. COACH I prefer divine intervention. ABDULLAH As joyous an occasion it was at November Reign, I must admit there was sadness in my heart after catching the replay later that night. Sadness over my actions. That is why I extended an invitation to Brother Thrust to be my guest speaker for this special service. An invitation he has accepted. A SHARK CAGE lowers from the ceiling. COACH Good thinking Spiritual One. COLE For once I agree with you. Big Papa Thrust would not hesitate to put his hands on Abdullah Nerdly, who looks great behind bars, I might add. Abdullah enters the cage. ABDULLAH So without further ado I welcome Big Papa Thrust! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" “Big Pimpin’” hits and the OAOAST Galaxy goes BANANAS for Big Papa Thrust, who gives Abdullah a scare by rattling his cage. ABDULLAH Brother Thrust, please! I understand you’re upset with me and you have every right to be. But first hear me out. I want to apologize for my behavior at November Reign. It was not intent to celebrate violence against women, specifically Oohlala. COLE Look at his nose grow. ABDULLAH No gentleman should ever lay his hands on a woman. BIG PAPA THRUST Get to the point or get ready for an ass kicking! “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" ABDULLAH Violence is not the answer. It never is. Therefore I propose a peace treaty. So rather than get it on we shall get along. Praise be! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BIG PAPA THRUST First of all, I don’t negotiate with terrorists! ABDULLAH BIG PAPA THRUST Secondly, your word don’t mean shit. So for wasting my time I’m gonna kick your scrawny ass! COACH Doesn’t Big Papa Thrust know Abdullah’s House of Worship is a violence free zone? BPT begins to pry the cage bars open when REJECT and TK attack. COLE Violence free zone, huh? COACH Reject and TK are trying to subdue a madman. “DEUCE!” “DEUCE!” “BIGELOW!” Reject and TK do a number on BPT as the OAOAST Galaxy continues to chant for Deuce Deuce Bigelow. * THUNK * Suddenly TK goes flying courtesy of a CHAIRSHOT by the Beast from Sin City! COLE Deuce’s wild! COACH Why can’t that guy ever mind his own business? The CoA flee as OAOAST officials restore order. COLE This situation is far from over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 Backstage in a secluded corner of the locker room we find Terry Taylor sitting with an edition of OAOAST Magazine. He's soon approached by a stone faced Badass Jack. TERRY Hi...Jack...good to see you. BADASS JACK No it ain't. Its never good to see me. TERRY I don't know about that. BADASS JACK I do. When the first thing you see is me, the last thing you see is blood pouring down from your forehead in front of your eyes. Then you pass out, and that's when I start to have fun. TERRY I....should go. BADASS JACK I think you should stay right where you are, bub. I ain't one of those guys to give a long detailed speech about my motivations and shit before I cut ya open. But, I'll give you an explanation. I hate Krista Isadora Duncan. I've been cost too much in my life, by too many god damn people. Krista's just the latest person out to fuck with me. Difference is all those people were fucking with Outhouse Jack. This is Badass Jack and he fucks back. I could go after Alix, but then I'd get fired. Can't go after Jade or Maya because they're just a couple of runts. Pierce and Amberlyn are worthless. That just about leaves you, bub. TERRY Jack, you don't have to do this! BADASS JACK Nah, bub, you don't understand. I want to do this. Jack flashes the steel claws, causing Terry to tremble in fear. BADASS JACK This is gonna hurt. The camera switches to an upperbody shot of Jack as his arms start to drive the claws towards Terry's face. TERRY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2013 THE WORLD IS MINE! The entrance stage is carpeted by by gold and green lights as Spencer's entrance music of The World Is Mine rolls through the arena.With the always stunning Lorelei DeCenzo at his side, Spencer Reiger steps onto stage. Both perform a twirl to showcase their heavenly bodies to the begrudgingly respectful audience. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty five minutes! Now making his way to the ring, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO, he hails from Manhattan, New York, he is THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT....SPENCER REIIIIGGGERRRRR! Spencer and Lorelei stroll down the entrance ramp, with smiles on their faces as blue and red “SR” illuminations trail behind them. COLE I'm surprised these two are in such a good mood, with their boss having been proven to be an ineffectual leader at November Reign. COACH Ineffectual leader? Are you stupid? COLE No, but Moneymaker might be. All he had to do was hit Landon with the scepter and instead he tossed it away! Spencer goes to the top rope and rips open his Affliction hoody to display his ripped abs for all the ladies in attendance. A fiery and fearsome bull's head takes residence on the entrance stage while Ecstasy Of Gold comes alive. Baron Windels emerges from the backstage area with hands forming the classic bull's horn. BUFFER And the opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, he weighs in at two hundred sixty five pounds, THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGER......BARON WIIINNDDEEEEEELLLLSSSSSSSS! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Here's a guy who's really drawn the ire of Bohemoth lately. But Bohemoth couldn't put his money where his mouth was as Baron caused his elimination this past Sunday at November Reign. DING DING DING SPENCER Yee-haw! BARON SPENCER Just making ya feel at home, Wyatt Earp. Baron doesn't appreciate Spencer's comments, and proves this by decking him with a right hand. COLE Spencer talked himself into a punch! Spencer gets to his feet and is promptly hurled into the ropes. BW telegraphs a backdrop, allowing The OMTT to sunset flip him. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the pin... ONE! TWO! Kickout! BW snaps a hammerlock on Spencer the moment he rises. This hold doesn't remain in place for long as the New Yorker is able to elbow his way out of it. He takes off to the ropes, but returns to a dropkick! COLE What height by Baron! BW sends Spencer to the cables, and this time is able to deliver the back drop. Despite howling in agony, the current six man champion is able to bring himself off the canvas. He's able to duck a lariat from BW, but can't escape the boomerang that nails him in the back of the head. COLE Texas Tea Lariat! BARON Its clobberin time! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The handsome cowboy climbs to the top rope, and waits for Spencer to gather himself off the canvas. Once his foe his fully upright, BW flies off and connects with a lariat! The cover... ONE! TWO! Spencer makes the kickout well before the three. Not wishing to incur further beatings, Spencer crawls to the corner and ducks through the ropes. This forces Clem to come between he and BW. “SPENCER'S A PUSSY! SPENCER'S A PUSSY! SPENCER'S A PUSSY!” Spencer breaks away from the corner to strike down BW with a punch as Clem is holding him back. SPENCER How's that for a pussy? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Spencer bounces off the ropes, timing his return to nail BW across the face with a spinning forearm! SPENCER Jacksonville! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” SPENCER You suck ass! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” After laughing to himself, Spencer is able to connect with a measured knee drop. This earns a round of applause from Lorelei but no one else. COACH I think if Lorelei had been out there at November Reign maybe The Enterprise would've won. COLE You think Lorelei would have changed Moneymaker foolishly tossing aside the scepter when he had Landon right where he wanted him? Spencer runs forward and slides into BW's chest. This pushes the Texan onto the ring apron. Spencer drags him upright, and stands him up across the second rope. SPENCER WHOO-HOO! YEE-HAW! GONNA RUSSLE ME UP CADDLE AND CHEW MY TOBACCKY! Spencer proceeds to nail BW across the chest with the hardest forearms he can muster. He does this until Buzzlefoxer pries him off his victim. COLE Spencer with a lot to prove after being eliminated early on at November Reign. I think many people assumed he'd be one of the survivors. Spencer runs off the cables, returning to strike BW in the back with a dropkick! The former world champion falls into the ring, and is treated harshly by Lorelei, who reaches in and slaps him. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Spencer smiles at BW's mistreatment as he goes for the pin... ONE! TWO! BW pulls his shoulder off the canvas. “LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON!” SPENCER Get ready, folks, I've got the most exciting move in the history of wrestling coming to you! The fans readies themselves for a high flying stunt, moving to the edge of their seats and getting their cameras ready. All they're given in a chinlock and a chortling Spencer. COACH Ha! That's my nigga! COLE The man who promises one thing and delivers something far worse? COACH That's what pro wrestling was founded on. BW uses his considerable strength and size advantage to fight upright. He then shoves his foe into the ropes. For the second time this match BW telegraphs the backdrop, allowing Spencer to strike him with a neckbreaker! COLE And Spencer certainly dominating this contest after a less than pleasing showing at November Reign. Spencer ascends to the top rope, intending on delivering a highly painful move to BW. Problematically, as he looks over his shoulder he sees a charging Texan. As such he back flips over him to avoid being attacked. An angered BW runs at Spencer, but is dragged into a small package... ONE! TWO! BW rolls out the pinfall, causing Lorelei to complain about the count. Her silence is bought when Spencer strikes BW with an enziguri as he rises. Rather than follow up with any more flashy attacks, Spencer goes back to the chinlock. COLE A chinlock isn't going to beat Baron Windels. COACH But it will wear him down, and that'll make it easier for Spencer to hit his big moves. Spencer indicates how boring this all is by YAWNING. “LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON! LET'S GO BARON!” the Jacksonville crowd bleats. Things become slightly more interesting, and much more aggravating as BW mounts an escape attempt. Spencer tries his best to keep hold of BW, but The Lonestar Gunslinger's strength proves too much for him to handle. COLE Baron is free and he is fired up! BW takes aim and smashes Spencer across the face with haymakers. Knowing that he can't win a slugfest, Spencer merely dropkicks BW in the knees. This staggers his larger rival, allowing him to run the cables so that he may hit an inverted bulldog on the rebound! COACH New York Knockout! My boy! A cover is made... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Spencer and Lorelei are irate that BW has kickedout and immediately berate the official for the match not being over. COLE Baron is tough, strong and resilient. Its going to take a couple of big moves for him to be put away. But, Spencer and Lorelei want things over with now. Spencer turns around and finds BW resting in the corner. Rage fills his face as he darts in with a splash. But, BW moves out the way and his foe collides with the corner posts. Spencer staggers towards BW, and is then hit with an inverted atomic drop. This is a prelude to BW bouncing off the ropes and dropping him with a lariat! COLE The Cowboy taking it to the city slicker! The cover... ONE! TWO! No! BW goes for a bodyslam but Spencer slips out. Unfortunately, he isn't able to avoid the discus punch BW nails him with. COACH That's Mister Dick's move! Thief! Robber! BW hooks Spencer up for his leaping DDT finisher. Spencer fights furiously to break free of the hold, and when that doesn't work he resorts to low blowing his foe! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Spencer acts quickly to take advantage of BW's wounded state, setting him into position for The Reiger Counter. COACH Spencer about to launch himself into world title contention! Spencer isn't able to launch anything but painful screams as BW low blows him! COLE What's good for the goose is good for the gander! A Brigham Young Cocktail connects, driving Spencer's head into the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BW presses his chest against Spencer's for a tight cover... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO BOHEMOTH BREAKS UP THE PIN! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH As my old enemy PRL would say THE CHAMP IS HERE! COLE He's not the champ and he has no business in that ring! Bohemoth scoops Baron off the canvas so that he may chuck him outside the ring. COACH Baron's in big trouble now! Bohemoth exits the ring to fetch BW. When he reaches the Texan he's slugged in the stomach, giving hope to the fans. But that hope is quickly washed away by Bohemoth kneeing BW in the face. COLE Come on, Bohemoth, there's no need for this! BOHEMOTH You don't tell ME what to do! Near the announce table, a smiling Boehmoth readies BW for The Betrayal. COLE He's going to put him through our announce table! Damn it, no! Don't do this! That's a human being!SMAAAAAAAAACK ALIX MARIA SPEZIA hammers Bohemoth in the back of the head with her title belt! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Bohemoth topples to the ground. COLE Thank god for Alix! Alix proceeds to take Bohemoth to the proverbial wood shed by flogging him the straps of her world title. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the audience sings as we...FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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