Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 THE OAOAST WELCOMES YOU TO PARIS, FRANCE!-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D COLE We are pleased to have you with us in the city of lights, Paris, France! I am Michael Cole, alongside Da Coach for the hottest show on television, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Hot don't even begin to describe it baby boy. Let's see what we've got cooking tonight.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT REMY BAZIL VS KRISTA ISADORA DUNCANTONIGHT! COACH And that ain't all!TONIGHT OAOAST THE MAGAZINE PRESENTSJADE'S PHOTOSHOOTTONIGHT! COLE Plus, D*LUX is in non title action against two very good friends of mine, Tim Cash and Biffman! The arena goes dark as “God of Thunder” by KISS hits, and the entryway lights up yellow, then fills up with yellow smoke as Thunderkid emerges onstage and heads to the ring. COLE We kick things off here in Paris with a big match between ThunderKid and Big Papa Thrust! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being led down the aisle by the devious Abdullah Nerdly, representing the Church of Abdullah….THUNDERKIIIIIDDDDDD! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" TK enters the squared circle and raises his arms. Meanwhile, Abdullah has a word with ring announcer Michael Buffer over his introduction. COACH Throw a fireball in his face! Better yet, throw one at Cole’s crotch! COLE Hey! Abdullah joins the guys at Sofa Central as “Big Pimpin‘” by Jay-Z cues and the buxom South African beauty Oohlala leads Big Papa Thrust ringside. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by the lovely Oohlala… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BPT enters the ring and climbs onto the middle rope where he flexes the largest arms in the galaxy. ABDULLAH Isn’t this the part where you gush over that xenophobic bigot, Brother Cole? COLE The views expressed by Big Papa Thrust are solely his and do not reflect those of myself or the OAOAST. COACH That’s not what you said last week. COLE You know exactly what I said last week. But are we going to argue over that or call the match that’s about to occur? ABDULLAH The words of a man with no defense. * DINGDINGDING * TK foolishly attempts to intimidate BPT right off the bat and gets pie-faced. He retaliates with a kick to the gut and a series of European uppercuts, but BPT reverses a whip and press slams TK! COLE That’s no small man Big Papa Thrust lifted with ease, ladies and gentlemen. COACH Both are two of the strongest in the OAOAST. ABDULLAH And only one has a brain. BPT drops a big elbow and talks smack to TK, then introduces him violently to the turnbuckle. BPT places TK on the top rope, but rapid forearms to the face knocks BPT off the middle rope and TK soars through the air… right into the arms of BPT who executes a release overhead belly-to-belly suplex! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BPT hooks TK for a vertical suplex only to have him float over the top and deliver a fall away slam! The cover. ONE! KICKOUT! TK immediately puts the boots to BPT and proceeds to choke him on the middle rope. THUNDERKID That’s for you, Ab. ABDULLAH TK shoots BPT in and delivers a press slam of his own. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Smack talk ensues and then a well placed kick to the face that scrambles the brain of BPT. ABDULLAH Rip his tongue out and serves it to me on a silver platter, my child. COLE And you wonder why people don’t like you. ABDULLAH Those who hate are simply misguided. Soon they will all be my people. COACH I’m one already. TK signals for the THUNDERBOLT, prompting Abdullah to leave his position at Sofa Central to taunt the OAOAST Galaxy. COLE That’s the face only a mother could love right there. Ugh! Unfortunately for Abdullah, things go awry when BPT blocks the brain buster and counters with THE 69 (STEINER) DRIVER! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" ABDULLAH COACH No way! COLE Serves that little rat right for celebrating prematurely. “Big Pimpin’” plays in the background as Reject storms the ring and along with Abdullah do a number on BPT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The jeers turn to cheers once DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW hits the ring and cleans house. “DEUCE!” “DEUCE!” “BIGELOW!” Deuce and BPT burn holes through Abdullah and his men. COLE Reject and TK won’t be away to run so easily when they have to face Deuce and Big Papa Thrust at the next In Your Parents’ Basement pay-per-view event on September 25 in Buffalo, New York. Right now the action continues on HeldDOWN~! Terry Taylor is backstage with Krista Isadora Duncan! Terry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We find Terry Taylor standing with number one contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, Krista Isadora Duncan at an interview set up that's complete with numerous monitors that all display the HeldDOWN logo. TERRY Krista, I have to ask you are you one hundred percent? KRISTA Should you consider enacting one of your fantasies, such as the one where I’m a lost helpless princess in the woods and you’re the bandit leader coming to rob me of my jewels and my virginity, I’d probably have the strength to crush your skull with my knee cap. If that’s what you’re asking. And let’s face it, you probably are, I read your ipad. TERRY That’s private! KRISTA You’re the mental giant who’s password is “password”. Now, do I have the strength in these aching, elderly bones to defeat Bohemoth. Even if I was bound to a wheel chair, wrapped in a full body cast, missing both my eye balls, suffering from acute schizophrenic disorder, and in a coma, I would have the strength to defeat Bohemoth and take back the OAOAST World Title. As it stands now, no I’m not one hundred percent. But, my sixty percent is Bohemoth’s twenty percent. TERRY Ummm…. KRISTA I’m not that good with the whole numbers thing. TERRY I can tell. Krista, in an interview on the OAOAST expose show Raw Dog, Bohmeoth said you thinking you could beat him made you delusional. KRISTA I’m delusional? Krista Isadora Duncan, delusional? My that is funny. Bohemoth, you’re the one thinking that goatee doesn’t make your face look like the world’s sloppiest vagina, you bloated, pumpkin headed, South Carolina, pedophile hick. How’s that for delusional. You in your wonderful mind like to think that you’ll have no problems with me because you’ve already beaten me. Well, honey, I’ve beaten Theodore Moneymaker, Dan Black, Landon Maddix, Tony Brannigan, Leon Rodez, Christian Wright, Baron Windels and more wrestlers than you can shake a stick at. What’s with that phrase anyhow? It makes no sense. Especially in this context. Wrestlers are big scary sexual deviants. Why shake a thin object like a stick at them? Why not shake a knife, or a grenade launcher or one of the numerous toothless ring rats they’ve impregnated over the years. Regardless, Bohemoth, I will give you the fight of a lifetime, bigger and badder than your endless battle with irritable bowl syndrome. TERRY What about your opponent for tonight, Remy Bazil? KRISTA As for Remy Bazil, I will beat him out of existence. Literally. Social Security number? Gone. Birth certificate? Adios. Drivers License? See ya later! I will beat him so bad the only thing he’ll be remembered for is being the blood stain on my shoe. Your favorite Jew, Krista Isadora Duncan. TERRY Thanks, Krista, and fans, I’ll be MCing the big reveal of Jade Rodez-Duncan’s OAOAST The Magazine photoshoot! I can’t wait for that one! KRISTA Excuse me, Terrence. But by saying you can’t wait for that one, you seem to be implying that you’re excited about seeing my daughter near bare ass naked. And when the low class primate known as the male gender gets excited over a near bare ass naked female they get these awful things called erections. So, what I’m gathering is that you will be getting an erection over my daughter. TERRY No! KRISTA So my daughter isn’t attractive enough for you to get an erection over? She’s not pretty enough for your sad masturbatory fantasies? TERRY No! KRISTA So you will most likely be considering pleasuring yourself to thoughts of my near naked daughter? TERRY Well…um….uh… KRISTA Should I superkick you now or after the show is over? TERRY After the show is over, please. YOU WANT RAW? WE GOT RAW? OAOAST RAW DOG YOUR INSIDE UNCENSORED LOOK AT THE OAOAST ONLY ON TSM AND THE PIT COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Inside his well designed office, which is littered with French flags, Alfdogg watches a replay of Odin’s terrorizing of an autograph signing. He pauses the DVD when he sees Alix Maria Spezia enter the room. ALIX Hi! ALFDOGG Alix, I’m glad you came. ALIX That’s what Krista says! But usually its followed by “now go wash the strap on while I watch the Dodgers Game” ALFDOGG Alix, I want you to know that I explicitly trust you. And I’m trusting you- ALIX That’s so awesome that you would trust me! Its like, super awesome! Because, the last time someone trusted me I led them to a dark alley, beat them down, and stole their Hello Kitty lipgloss. Eleven year olds shouldn’t be wearing lip-gloss anyway. But, dontcha worry one bit, Alfie, I won’t jack you up. Unless you have Hello Kitty lip gloss. Do you have Hello Kitty Lip-Gloss? ALF No, I don’t. ALIX Then you’re safe! So, like, what’s this task you’re trusting me to? ALF I assume you know Odin. ALIX Oh sure, yeah, Odin, he me go way back, we used to run immigrants across the border back in 1970. ALF You don’t know him, do you? ALIX Nope! ALF Odin, claims to be some sort of Norse God. I don’t know if I believe him, but he believes it and he says he’s going to make life a living hell for the OAOAST Galaxy until it comes under his control. ALIX Can you skip to the part where you give me a colouring book? ALF There is no part like that. Alix, this is very important. The OAOAST Galaxy can not fall into his hands. I need you to be its protector. ALIX Me? I mean why not someone who can shield the Galaxy with their girth like Sloppy Joe, or Kareem, or….you! ALF ALIX Touched a nerve didn’t I. ALF Alix, the problem with everyone else is that they lose from time to time. Some more than others. But you never lose. Do you see where I’m going with this? ALIX I think so. ALF Good. ALIX You want me to blow him, right? ALF What? ALIX Cause, I can blow him. ALF What?! ALIX I can blow him like a pro! Check out this little video I recorded for my mommy. After pressing a few buttons on the touch screen, Alix shoves her iphone into Alf’s face. ALIX ON SCREEN ALFDOGG ALIX There’s more! ALIX ON SCREEN ALFDOGG You recorded that for your mother? ALIX She’s gotta know his little girl can down the sausage, just like she taught me! So when do you want me to blow Odin? ALF I want you to wrestle him! ALIX Well, that’s no fun. But a lot easier on the jaw. ALF Alix, you never lose. If it comes down to wrestling you’ll beat Odin somehow and that will most likely end his quest for the OAOAST Galaxy. Maybe the humiliation of being beaten by a mortal woman will drive him out the OAOAST. ALIX And then I blow him? ALF If you’d like. ALIX Awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 M O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Lorelei DeCenzo arrives on the scene to the tune of Lady Gaga’s “Money Honey.” She twirls to showcase her ever so lovely body to the lusting fans before heading down to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making her way to the ring, from Manhattan Beach, California, she is THE MONEY HONEY LOREEELLLEEIIII DEEECENNNZZZOOOOOOOOO! COLE Lorelei DeCenzo, the second in charge of The Enterprise, enters another battle in the heated war between The Enterprise and The Cucaracha Kingdom. Kerli’s “Tea Party” brings with it a wealth of cheers from the sold out audience. Emerging from the backstage area with miniature horse Pumpkin in tow is home country girl Sophie! BUFFER And the opponent from, Marsielles, France, she is SOOOOOPPPPPPHHIIIIEEEEEEE! Sophie smiles to the fans on her way down the entrance ramp, as the front row pet the adorable Pumpkin. COLE Sophie, Queen Esther’s personal stylist, with a big opportunity for both herself and The Kingdom. DING DING DING The moment Sophie enters the ring, she’s pounced upon by Lorelei! The Money Honey batters her with clubbing forearms before chucking her over the ropes to the outside. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lorelei exits the ring as gracefully as possible to fetch Sophie. She scoops up the French girl and slams her face first into the steel steps. This is enough damage done in Lorelei’s opinion and she returns to the ring. Now inside, she demands referee Clem Buzzlefoxer count out Sophie. ONE! TWO! THREE! Sophie starts to stir, and climbs onto the ring apron. This does little to please Lorelei, who lunges forward and clubs her off the apron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Sophie gets up rather quickly though. This surprises Lorelei, and for that reason Sophie is able to drag her outside the ring. Sophie returns an earlier favor, and smacks Lorelei against the steel steps. Anguished Lorelei rolls back into the ring. Rather than follow her directly inside, Sophie heads to the top rope. The fans applaud her upcoming show of agility, and aren’t left disappointed when she comes off to slam a missile dropkick into Lorelei’s chest. Cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Sophie scoops Lorelei up and then drives her downward with an inverted DDT! COLE Chute Le Mort, and the cover… ONE! TWO! No! COACH This Kingdom/Enterprise war is making me ill. These two women should be out shopping at the finest clothing stores in this city, not tearing each other’s hair out. Where’s the love? Lorelei rolls away from Sophie and begs off. Sophie considers showing mercy, but Lorelei grabs onto her black track pants and attempts to throw her into the tunrbuckles. Sophie blocks the attack however, swiftly kicking Lorelei in the face. Another cover is attempted… ONE! TWO! Lorelei kicksout, and then quickly heads to the corner. Sophie follows her in, only to be hit in the face with a stinging forearm. Lorelei then grabs onto Sophie’s arm and executes an arm trap neckbreaker! COLE E-Commercide! Lorelei hooks the legs for a cover… ONE! TWO! Sophie pleases her home country with a kickout! “SOPHIE! SOPHIE! SOPHIE!” Sophie is brought to her feet and then whipped into the ropes. Coming back, she’s able to flatten Lorelei with a lariat. While Lorelei struggles in pain, Sophie scales to the top rope. This brings the audience to their feet, and their fellow French speaker soars off with a top rope elbow drop. But Lorelei rolls out the way and Sophie crashes into the canvas! COLE Sophie went into the lights and that’s got to be it for her! Lorelei scrapes Sophie’s limp body off the canvas, and hooks her up for The Fisherman’s DDT. COLE Lorelei looking for that Cash Flow DDT! Somehow Sophie is able to roll out the hold, and catch Lorelei into an anklelock! COLE Submission applied! Submission applied! Lorelei screams and hollers, trying to claw her way to the ropes. Just as she starts to make progress, Sophie drags her back towards the center of the ring. COLE Lorelei with no place to go! Lorelei realizes her predicament is an insufferable one and begrudgingly submits to the ankle lock. DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a submission…SOOOPPHHHHIIIIIEEEEEEEE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Sophie wears a bright and beautiful smile in the face of this heart warming triumph. She goes to the outside to celebrate with her fans while Lorelei grouses about the stunning loss. COLE Sophie winning one for The Kingdom, but more importantly she’s won one for her home country! LATER TONIGHT THE MAINEVENTKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS REMY BAZILTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Coming back into the arena, Terry Taylor stands by in the middle of the ring. TAYLOR Alright ladies and gentlemen, madams and monsieurs, members of the OAOAST Galaxy. It's time to unveil the latest of our OAOAST Magazine photoshoots, set to hit newsstands in the next week... COACH Do newsstands still exist? Do people still buy magazines? COLE Quiet! TAYLOR ...so without any further ado, it's my pleasure to bring out the star of this month's special feature. She is your OAOAST Women's Champion, Paris please give it up for JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN!!"Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The Paris crowd do give it up for Jade, as she makes her appearance, carrying the Women's Title belt over her shoulder. Looking a little nervous, Jade is geed by sister Maya, who accompanies her, presumably for moral support. COACH I've gotta say, this has been the best idea President Alfdogg ever came up with. COLE Jade posing for OAOAST Magazine, or naked women in general? COACH The second one. As Jade shyly waves to Terry, Maya is still tasked with trying to build up Jade's confidence. TAYLOR Jade, I know you must be really excited about this. JADE Uhm... a little. TAYLOR Before we show the fine folks here in Paris and the millions watching around the world a sneak peek of what's going to be in that magazine, how about you give us an idea of what to expect. JADEMillions of people? Really? (Maya nudges Jade) Oh! Well, Terry, Paris is known the world over for fine fashion and fine art. But they're not going to see much in the way of clothing in these pictures! MAYA Terrible delivery of a great line. By the way, I wrote the line. TAYLOR Maya, thanks for joining us. MAYA Jade was threatening to run away if they made her do this on her own. So, it's really more of an obligation. (Jade nudges Maya). No, but this isn't about me. Not this time. I had my moment. Before my record selling issue came out. (Jade nudges Maya. Again.) Would you quit that? TAYLOR Alright Jade, if you're ready and we're all ready, let's see a few of the pictures, shall we? Terry points up to the big screen and Jade cringes a little, nervous over the reaction she'll get. The fans whoop and holler and suddenly, Jade seems a little more relaxed. MAYA Is that it? JADE What do you mean "is that it"? It's only the first picture. MAYA You're right, I'm sorry. Setting the bar too high. My fault. I apologise. It's just tha... hey, is that my jacket!? JADE Next picture please! MAYA Oh hey, you can see your nipple in that one. JADE No you can't. MAYA Sure you can! Look, right there. That's nip. You can totally make it out. JADE (unsure) ...no you can't... can you? TAYLOR Next picture please! JADE COACH Daaaamn. JADE Okay. So, this is one of my favourites. This photo is called 'Soft Focus Staircase'. We... MAYA Hold on. Slow it up. Since when does everything need a name? Since when do you start getting all artsy? This isn't some sort of boring presentation. Why can't it just be called 'Me With My BUTT Hanging Out'? I'm sorry, I interrupted again, didn't I? JADE (getting a little annoyed) Yes, you did. MAYA My bad. It's something I'm working on. It really is. JADE Alright. I guess we don't need to go over all the names. TAYLOR Maya, what do you think? MAYA I think I just realised how weird it is that I'm out here, looking at giant pictures of my sister in various states of undress. JADE I had to do it during yours. MAYA Yeah well, you have to do lots of things you're uncomfortable with. JADE Yeah. Yeah, I do. TAYLOR What do you think about the picture, Maya? MAYA Oh! Yeah, all those BUTT toning exercises Mom made you do over the past couple of weeks really paid off, Jade. And the cool thing is, when your discipline inevitably deserts you and the desserts inevitably fill you, you'll have these pictures to remember your peak of attractiveness by. So, you know, yay for that. JADE (sarcastically) Yay. TAYLOR Well Jade, I think these fans approve! JADE Yeah, it's a nice picture. We took that one just as the sun was starting to set, it's a really beautiful view from that balcony. MAYA Yeah, ain't nobody lookin' at the view. TAYLOR So having seen the pictures, how do you think they turned out, Jade? JADE Oh, well, I probably shouldn't say. I mean, they're pictures of me. So, you know, talking about myself, that'd be kinda egotistical... MAYA Was that a shot at me? JADE No. MAYA Oh. Nevermind then. Hey, where did you take that photo anyway? That view looks familiar. JADE Alix's friend Marty let us borrow the balcony for the day. MAYA Wait, you took those photos at Marty's place? You were topless, on Marty's balcony? JADE Why... what's... what's wrong with that? MAYA You mean you don't remember the time he got arrested for stalking that woman and they confiscated his telescopic lens? JADE (horrified) No! MAYA Oh. Well, it's probably not important. Great photos, Jade! TAYLOR I agree. And so do these fans! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Don't forget about Coach! "Excuse me, darlin'!" A voice suddenly drawls out through the arena, confused everybody momentarily. Every lowers their necks, from the screen, down to MELISSA NERDLY, who has decided to make an appearance for some reason. Terry suddenly starts feeling some residual pain from last week and rubs his head. MELISSA I sure am sorry for interrupting. But, I was sittin' back there with everybody, looking at your pretty little photos. And, gee, it sure was inspiring. So inspiring that it's helped me to come up with a little song for ya'll, if you don't mind. MAYA Uh, excuse me. I'm confused. I thought you were the one who quoted Muhammed Ali. MELISSA (ignoring Maya) Unfortunately, my band had to fly back home to play a gig in Saskatchewan, so it's gonna have to be an acoustic performance. But, that shouldn't be a problem, should it? JADE I... guess not? Setting up a stool, Melissa starts to tune her guitar, as Jade and Maya look on bemused. She strums a couple of times, then holds up a finger to ask for more time to tune. MELISSA Okay, okay, I think I got it. This here's a little song I just came up with. And it's dedicated to you, Miss Jade. A 1, 2, 3..."Oh, when I was five, I loved to eat Mah mommy's food it just couldn't be beat I fed and fed until I couldn't get no more." "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH I thought you said these people liked fine art? COLE They do. That's why they're booing."When I was eight, it still was great Clearin' off mah heavin' plate Them big ol' biscuits, fried chicken and corn." COLE All traditional Canadian cuisine."But when I got into my teens My clothes were burstin' at the seams Cause I didn't know when to just say that was that. So I cried and cried, tears from my eyes How was I gonna get those handsome guys Carryin' around all this darned ol' puppy fat. OH PUPPY FAT, GO AWAY PUPPY FAT, IT'S HERE TO STAY WHY COULDN'T I SAY NO TO THAT HELPING OF CORNBREAD PUPPY FAT, WHY OH WHY PUPPY FAT, I WANNA DIE BECAUSE MY ASS IS ROUND AND MY BREASTS DON'T LOOK THE SAME!" JADE/MAYA/TERRY :o MELISSA Thank ya'll very much! Enjoy the rest of the show! MAYA (to Jade) I think she was talking to you. Not appreciating the song written for her, Jade looks on dumbfounded, unable to decide between being embarrassed and being appalled. Melissa waves and has the nerve to BOW for the crowd, before picking up her guitar and leaving. All eyes turn to Jade, who starts clenching her fists and breathing heavily. MAYA Uh oh. I think she's gonna blow. Jade storms out of the ring and marches up the ramp, seething, with her unveiling upstaged. MAYA Great. I have to sit next to that all the way from here to Italy. Shaking her head, Maya retains the remarkable ability to think about herself at all times, as she goes off in pursuit of Jade. COLE You know, maybe it's just me, but these things never seem to go so well. COACH Speak for yourself! I was thoroughly entertained throughout. COLE Well, that's a relief. I guess Melissa got her moment in the spotlight. Let's hope she doesn't regret it. Folks, right now Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Oscar Friberg. Josh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage in the interview area, Josh Matthews is stood by withOSCAR FRIBERG JOSH Oscar Friberg, last week on HeldDOWN everyone saw the offer of help made to you by Theodore Moneymaker. Can we have your opinion on it? OSCAR Let me ask you a question, Josh. Have you ever slept in a secluded corner of an alley with a cardbox as a pillow and a newspaper as your blanket? JOSH Thankfully not. OSCAR Have you ever ran guns to put a few bucks in your pocket? JOSH No, I haven’t. OSCAR Have you ever stolen to make ends meet? JOSH I can’t say that I have. OSCAR I have done all those things, and so many more things I’m not exactly proud of. I come from nothing. My father killed my mother when I was three. What little I actually have, has come from fighting tooth and nail. That means when someone presents me with an offer that could make me more money then I ever imagined possible I take notice. I take strong notice. When Theodore Moneymaker flashed that wad of cash and offered his help, I stood up and I said wow. My life as I know it could change with that kind of “help”. But, here’s the thing. Although, I appreciate Theodore Moneymaker and The Enterprise offering their help to me against The Cucaracha Kingdom, and although I probably do need it, I’m going to turn it down. JOSH Turn it down? OSCAR This war began with me against The Kingdom, it will end with me against The Kingdom. Alone. But, there’s a key word in that previous sentence, and that’s end. When is this all going to end? I’ve dealt with gangs a whole lot meaner and nastier than the Kingdom when I was on the streets. And I know that you can beat up henchman and lackies all day long, but it doesn’t stop until you take out the leader. Landon Maddix, I’m coming to take you out. You and me have a date at In Your Parents Basement: On Top Of The World. I will kick your royal ass from pillar to post, and I will teach your Kingdom to never, ever, come at me again.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 OAOAST HelDOWN Is Brought To You By...OAOAST RAW DOG-THE NEWEST AND WILDEST EXPOSE SHOW ON TELEVISION COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, ladies and gentlemen! I'm Michael Cole, alongside DA COACH~!, and Coach, what a twist in the saga that is the OAOAST last week with Zack Malibu and Todd Cortez. COACH As the ring turns... COLE A few weeks ago, Zack Malibu made his triumphant return to in-ring action, with some credit going to yours truly. Upon his return Zack stated that he had in fact been courted by the revived SWF organization, but turned them down due to his strong bond with our company. That's when Todd Cortez showed up to tell Zack that he too had been offered a deal with the company, since as many know Cortez began is career in the SWF. Seemingly looking for a taste of redemption after all that's gone on in the past year, Cortez stated that he too turned down the SWF, and wanted one last chance to prove that he's as good, if not better, than Zack. Zack has agreed, and right now we're going to have both of those men out here to put their names on the dotted line for our upcoming In Your Parents Basement event! "Oh No" hits, and the lights dim for the arrival of the URBAN LEGEND to HeldDOWN~! Wearing dark jeans, a white button down shirt and with his bulletproof vest layered over it, TODD CORTEZ walks down the aisle looking focused, but a bit more relaxed than usual. COLE After all he's done...the beatings, the carvings, the assaults...is this a man that deserves forgiveness? COACH Why not? Look at Bruce Blank! I mean, the two of them BOTH raised a lot of hell back in the Wildcards days, and Todd came out clean from that, and now so has Bruce. Why can't it go back to the way it was? COLE Dare I say, Coach, that the Anglesault regime caused more hell than the Wildcards ever did. The man in the ring is responsible for an amazing number of assaults, including one on yours truly! Ask Josh Matthews what he thinks about this, or... COACH I ain't gonna talk to Josh if I ain't gotta! Cortez paces the ring, standing on one side of the table but refusing to take a seat. Instead, he stands in anticipation, and watches the Angletron light up with the video package showcasing the man he's got quite the history with. ZACK MALIBU emerges to the sounds of "Getting Away With Murder". Preppy as always in gray pants, a black shirt, and gray vest, Malibu heads to the ring and never once takes his eye off of Cortez. COLE You can sense the reservation that Zack has to trust that this is on the level. If Todd Cortez wants to continue his career here on a respectable level, he may be starting with Zack, but he's going to have a long way to go. Malibu gets two mics, one for himself, and hands the other to Cortez. MALIBU I'm sure most, if not all of you saw last week when Todd Cortez and I were in the ring, and the challenge that was laid out. Therefore, everyone, including you, Todd, know that this contract signing is a mere formality. Later this month, at In Your Parents Basement: On Top of the World, you and I are going to get in the ring one more time. I can respect the fact that you came to me, man to man, and challenged me. I can also respect the fact that you didn't screw the OAOAST over, and that you didn't take the SWF up on their offer. My question to you is, is do you think making ONE face to face challenge after a year of cutting people open with a fork is really redeeming? Do you think that by staying with the OAOAST after trying to DESTROY it for a year is going to make me sing your praises and kiss your ass? You already got your second chance years ago, after what you and the other Wildcards did to Candie and my daughter. It tooks years...YEARS...for Bruce Blank to own up to it, and for things to be forgiven. Yet here you are, and we've gone back and forth for years, Todd, but now...you tried to destroy this company, my livelihood, you attacked my friends...hell, you were a liability because you could have yanked a fan over the railing and carved their head up for all we knew! You were...you ARE a threat. And now here you are, asking for... CORTEZ I'm gonna cut you off there, Malibu. I ain't asking for anything. I'm lookin' to earn my spot back, plain and simple. See, I could come out here and be all articulate like you, I could pander to the people, I could beg...but I won't. I ain't about that. I earned my rep on the streets, and I earned it in the ring, whether I was in the indies, the SWF, or here in the OAOAST. See, you and I, Zack, we might be different in appearance and in lifestyle, but deep down we want just one thing. Respect. You have everyone's respect, and they love you, and that's fine. If these people want to cheer me or boo me, it's their choice, because I'm not gonna make their mind up for them. I am who I am, and I can't play pretend. Now I could have come out here and challenged anyone last week. I could have gone after a veteran, like Tony The Body, or CWM. I could have gone after one of the women, like Krista or Alix. I could have gone after Landon Maddix, Leon Rodez, Bohemoth, or anyone else I've got a past with. I could have called out a newbie and said that they if they want to earn their spot they had to go thru me. I didn't do that though, and you know why? Not because you are who you are, Zack. I'll give you props, you are the top dog around here. You ARE OAOAST, no doubt. I came at you because I knew you'd take my challenge as a man, one on one. I came at you because I know you respect the game enough to leave it in the ring this time. Yeah, we've got history, both good and bad. You talk about when I kicked in your front door five years ago, or when I cut you up this past year, but you've let the monster inside take you over too, Zack. What about a few years ago when Anglesault was pulling YOUR strings? Who was the guy who took the brunt of that, the guy who had your back only for you to make him look like a sucker for it? That was ME, Zack. So yeah, I've got some things to hang over your head too, but you know what...forget it. Forget the Wildcards and Anglesault and Jason Silver and whoever else. I'm layin' it on the table right now. I'm gonna sign that contract, and you are too, and straight up it's gonna be Zack Malibu and Todd Cortez, one on one with a clean slate, like it's our first dance in this ring, and when it's over, and my hand is raised, I just want you to be man enough to get up off the mat and shake my hand. Malibu smirks, as Cortez looks very determined right about now. MALIBU No one ever took away your talent. You are, without a doubt, one of the best ever, and so many times you've come *that close*. For the past few years you've been swayed a little too easily sometimes, or you've been distracted. Between being blackmailed by Landon Maddix, trying to make an impact as a Wildcard, or everything with Anglesault and them, you haven't had much time to stand on your own. So I'm going to tell you to your face right now that I do respect you for coming out here, man to man. That dotted line is just waiting for my pen to hit it and I'll take care of that in a second, but let me tell you this, and take my word for it...it's a long road to redemption, but you're on the right track. From here on out, we leave it in the ring, and come In Your Parents Basement, we're going to see if you're a man of your word. Malibu drops the mic and signs his name to the contract, then spins it around so that it faces Cortez. Todd looks down and signs his name, and the two stars stand across from each other, staring each other down as tensions rise. CORTEZ Oh, I'm a man of my word. Especially the part about me beating you one, two three. Believe that. "Oh No" comes up again, as Cortez walks past Malibu and exits the ring, leaving the OAOAST Franchise alone with his thoughts. Malibu motions to Cortez as he walks away, and the two men do a little trash talk before Malibu opts to exit the ring as well. COLE Things are getting intense here in the OAOAST! Zack Malibu and Todd Cortez aren't holding anything back on the mic, and my guess is that come September 25th they won't be holding back in the ring either! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 "It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down hits and out to the ring head the OAOAST's most dogoodingest tag team, if that's even a word, which it's not, Tim Cash and with a swoop of his cape, Biffman. COACH Here comes the Simp Squad. BUFFER The following non title tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of four hundred and fourty pounds... the team of "WRESTLING'S LAST REAL GOOD GUY" TTIIIIIIMMMM CCAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHH and the OAOAST's resident superhero, BBIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Biff climbs the outside of the turnbuckles and raises an heroic fist to the crowd. Meanwhile, Tim makes sure to shake hands with the referee and with Buffer before waving to the fans. COACH Why you so quiet, Cole? These guys let you down! They lost and you almost got your ass beat! Go ahead, go into Cole mode and run these guys down like you do with JR and Piercey! COLE Tim and Biff gave their all, as they always do. I've got nothing bad to say about them. COACH That's because you're as lame as they are.WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. "Solar Midnite" fires out and in Parisian blue, D*LUX bound out. Playing to the fans, the Tag Team Champions make their way down the aisle, tagging hands. Tim watches on and applauds for D*LUX just like most of the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents! From the state of Michigan! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy nine pounds... the OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... D*LLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" D*LUX slide in and play to the galleries some more. COLE So the World Tag Team Champions face off against former World Tag Team Champions, here tonight in Paris. Should be a great match, between two of the OAOAST's most popular teams. A real treat for our French fans. COACH Yeah yeah, that's swell. But even though you don't wanna hear it and I know a lot of the OAOAST fans are tryna paint me as a liar, there's trouble brewing Cole. COLE Not this again... COACH There's friction between D*LUX. My sources are telling me that Shayne and Tyler aren't the tight knit team they used to be, things aren't what they were... trouble's brewing. I'm telling ya. COLE Whatever you say, Coach. The two teams meet up in the middle of the ring and it's handshakes all round between the four perrenial good guys, before Shayne and Biffman leave their partners for the apron. COLE Starting out with some sportsmanship, always good to see. COACH Maybe if they spent a little less time shaking hands and a little more time kicking ass, your boys wouldn't have lost at AngleSlam? *DINGDINGDING* With the match officially underway, Tim offers another handshake to get things off on the right foot. Tyler looks a little confused, since they shook hands literally five seconds ago, but obliges anyway. COACH Alright, we get it, you're all nice. Somebody throw a punch or somethin'! COLE You are so cynical, Coach. Tim and Tyler finally lock up and Tim quickly goes behind with a waistlock. Looking for an escape, Tyler finds one, behind into a hammerlock. And despite the pressure on the arm, Tim takes a second to nod in appreciation of the nice counter executed on him. COACH Oh, come on! He's even nice when he's being beaten! COLE What's wrong with that? Having shown his appreciation, Cash soon shows his competitive side as he regains control with a surprise drop toehold and floats over to come up with a side headlock on Tyler. Tyler gets to his feet and starts to try and escape. Before he can be thrown to the ropes, Cash transitions the headlock into a twist of the arm, behind with a hammerlock of his own, then forces Tyler down to the mat. On the ground, Tim maintains control. And after working on the hammerlock, he hooks Tyler's free arm and turns him over into a pinning predicament... 1... 2... No! As Tyler kicks out, Tim stands back up and allows Tyler back to his feet respectfully. COLE I don't think D*LUX want to be trying to go hold for hold on the mat with Tim. Both Tyler and Cash tag to their partners, Biffman coming in and hitting a big superhero pose immediately. "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Big fans of Biffman here in Paris. Who knew? Shayne and Biff go to lock up. Shayne goes behind on Biff, trying to get control with a waistlock. Biffman is too strong for Shayne to do much with however and Biff quickly escapes, breaking apart Shayne's hands and flipping him over to the mat. Shayne rolls through to his feet, booting Biff and grabbing a side headlock. But Biff throws him to the ropes and then knocks Shayne down with a shoulder tackle as he comes back! Shayne looks up a little stunned, as Biffman strikes the superheroic pose once more. COACH Oh jeez. As Biff turns and hits the ropes, Shayne drops down. Up and over, Biffman then goes underneath a leapfrog. But as he rebounds back again, Shayne catches him with a dropkick! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Biff and Cash bring some power and some technique, but that's where the World Tag Team Champions will definitely have the advantage, in the speed department. A quick tag is made by D*LUX and Tyler comes back in. Rushing past Biff, he soars at the superhero with a flying clothesline and knocks Biffman down. Cover... 1... 2... No! Tyler backs Biff into a neutral corner with a couple of jabs. An irish whip attempt is reversed though and it's Tyler who is sent across the ring. Approaching the turnbuckles, Tyler quickly scales up the ropes and feints to throw himself back with a crossbody. He then turns himself around on the top, expecting Biff to be dis-orientated. But instead he finds Biffman apparently impervious to the effects of the Auburn Hills Fakeout, looking up at him in superhero pose position. TYLER COLE I don't think Tyler was expecting that. Confused for a second, Tyler attempts to make amends as he flies off the top with a crossbody... but gets CAUGHT! COLE Or THAT! Showing off his super strength, Biffman delivers a bodyslam! COLE Somewhere back in Canada, Melody Nerdly will be watching on with pride. No doubt streaming this show online, instead of watching us somewhere that will contribute to our ratings. Tag is made by Biff to Cash. Running down the apron to a more advantageous position, Tim is able to lure Tyler forward and catch him with a shoulder to the gut. Up and over the top, Cash rolls over Tyler's back, then turns and pulls him down in an O'Connor roll! 1... 2... No! Both men pop up and Tyler tries a clothesline, but Cash ducks underneath. Off the ropes, Tim throws himself at Tyler in wheelbarrow position, turning it into another quick rollup! 1... 2... No! As both men roll to their feet again, Cash runs at Tyler. He grabs Tyler by the arm and turns the tables, whipping Tyler into the ropes with momentum. A blind tag is made by the champions though. Tyler manages to avoid Cash anyway, baseball sliding through the legs. And with Tim wrong-footed, Shayne springboards off the top, catching Cash with a crossbody block! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... NO! COLE D*LUX are so intuitative, it's like they know what the other is thinking at all times. COACH Then they probably know what I know, which is the cracks are starting to form! Shayne hits a couple of kicks, trying to keep control of Cash. A whip sends him to the ropes, but Tim wraps his arms around the top cable and stops himself from rebounding back. Shayne adjusts, running at Tim. But Tim ducks his shoulder, backdropping Shayne over the top. Shayne manages to land safely on the apron, so Cash tries to feed a shoulder through, running himself right into a defensive knee from Showtime! With Cash dazed, Shayne quickly climbs to the top and soars in with a Flying Clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Tag made by the Champions, sending Cash into the ropes. They double him up with stereo elbows, then hit the Cowell Movement to further knock the wind out of Tim's sails. Holding his ribs, Tim rests on his knees, as Shayne and Tyler then SANDWICH him with double dropkicks! COLE VINTAGE D*LUX! Tyler makes the pin... 1... 2... NO! COLE D*LUX in control at the moment. They look every bit the team they have been since 2011 started, if you ask me. COACH Well, clearly you don't know what I know. COLE I know what I see, which is D*LUX in full flow. Are you sure this isn't some rumour somebody is feeding you, perhaps somebody like Pierce Duncan, or James Riggs? COACH I'd never reveal my sources. Tyler whips Cash into the corner and follows in with a clothesline. Appealing to the crowd, he then climbs up and looks to throw out another Top 10! "UN!" "DEUX!" "TRIOS!" "QUATRE!" "VINGT!" "CINQ!" "SIX!" Before the Parisian crowd can get to sept, which is seven for all you uncultured dummies out there, Cash suddenly slips free of the corner. Tim then lifts Tyler off the turnbuckles in an electric chair and carries him into the centre of the ring. Throwing Tyler down, Cash grabs him in a waistlock, Tyler kicking and fighting to avoid a suplex. Tim tries to run Tyler to the ropes for a rollup instead, but Tyler hangs on. And as Cash rolls back to his feet, Tyler runs past and brings him down with the Phantom Neckbreaker!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Nodding his head, Tyler hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE Kickout by Tim. Big opportunity tonight for he and Biffman to get back in the Tag Title hunt. Biffman looks on concerned, as Tyler brings Cash back up and dishes out a couple of stinging right hands. He then tags Shayne, setting up a double irish whip. D*LUX try a double clothesline. But Cash ducks underneath, slipping behind Shayne and shoving him into Tyler so they collide! COLE Oof! Trying to find a way to his corner, Tim crawls through Shayne's legs, but Tyler blocks his path, so Cash hits him with a forearm. Tim then turns around, looking to do the same to his other opponent... *SMACK!* ...but Shayne connects with a SUPERKICK! Dazed, Cash staggers back into Tyler who takes him up in a fireman's carry, allowing D*LUX to Rock Tim's Body with the Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combo!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler quickly cuts Biffman off, as Shayne makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE Tim not quite tricky enough to evade D*LUX on that occasion. But only two, as D*LUX try to press their advantage home. As Tim appeals to the fans for their much needed support, D*LUX switch up again. Tyler comes in with a couple of boots, then tries to send Tim to the ropes. Twisting out, Cash tries to bring Tyler forward into a double leg pickup, but Tyler floats over the top. Pulling Cash down with him, Tyler tries a sunset flip. Tim rolls through and tries for the MIDWEST SLING out of nowhere, but Tyler is able to kick him off! COLE Oh, almost had him hooked there. Both men roll back to their feet, with their backs to the opposition corners. Face to face, Tim feints to go high, then shoots low, confusing Tyler enough to dodge past and MAKE THE TAG!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Head shoulder fake and a tag to Biffman! Biff comes in firing, knocking Tyler down with a clothesline! Shayne rushes in to try and help his partner, but runs right into a clothesline as well! A house of fire, Biffman launches the onrushing Tyler into orbit with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! And Shayne is soon put into the skies as well, pressed up and left to fall back to earth with a flapjack! COLE Look at Biff go! COACH Faster than a speeding bullet, dumber than a bag of rocks. Shayne rolls outside, as Biff hooks Tyler and delivers a side belly to belly... 1... 2... No! Retreating into a corner, Biff waits for Tyler to get back up. Out of the corner, Biffman then launches forward towards Tyler... NO! Tyler sees Biff coming and manages to avoid the Spear, leapfrogging over the oncoming danger! Tyler glances back at Biff, seeing him charge again and quickly leaps to the second turnbuckle, throwing himself back with a twisting crossbody to take the superhero down! 1... 2... NO! Kicked off, Tyler is quickly back to his feet and tries to dive at Biffman in the corner... but gets CAUGHT! COLE Uh oh! Right into the waiting arms of Biffman. Carrying Tyler a step further away from the turnbuckles, Biff gets his arms underneath Tyler, elevating him up into powerbomb position. Tyler knows he's in trouble and starts to rain down with fists, able to fight his way out of the powerbomb predicament. Tyler then turns and hits the ropes, but Biffman meets him on the way back with a running high knee! BIFFMAN UP AND ATLAS! Cover by Biff... 1... 2... NO! Dragging Tyler back up, Biff hooks him in a full nelson. He then lifts Tyler up, sitting out with the faceplant! COLE Biff Blast! That could do it right there! Biffman makes the cover... 1... 2... BROKEN UP BY SHAYNE! COLE Good job looking out for his partner there by Shayne. COACH I guess. COLE Give it up, Coach. Biff takes the fight to Shayne, backing him into a corner with right hands. After apprehending the intruder, Biffman then throws Shayne across the ring. Shayne floats up and over out of the corner though, over Biff. Stopping just short of the turnbuckles, Biff thinks he's safe, but turns around... *SMACK* *SMACK* ...and eats a Double Superkick from the Tag Team Champions!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE A little Hit Me Baby One More Time. COACH It's 2011. Do they know that? Have they been informed? Out rolls Biff, replaced quickly by Cash, who approaches from behind. D*LUX spot him and react quickly, with another Double Superkick... but neither connect, as Tim ducks underneath! Cash quickly stops Tyler with a boot and as Shayne tries to do the same to him, Wrestling's Last Good Guy catches the foot. Jamming Shayne with a kneebreaker, Cash then holds on, to throw Shayne back with the suplex, RIGHT INTO TYLER!! COLE Tim just picked up the 7-10 split! COACH A bowling pun? That doesn't have anything to do with boybands, or superheroes, or Tim Cash. Step your game up, son. COLE Going after Shayne, Tim quickly tries to shoot Showtime into the ropes. Shayne spins out of the whip though and after surprising Tim with a kick, goes for the SHAYNEDROP... ...NO! Shayne does snap forward, but does so with the extra momentum of a legsweep by Cash, PLANTING him face first into the mat! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Shayne nurses his face, Cash steps over and stacks Shayne forward with the Gedo Clutch... 1... 2... NO! Cash waits on Shayne and tries to hook him for the Cashback. Shayne slips free and with Tim bent over, hops onto his back, going for the Motion Blur. Which doesn't work out so well, as Tim hooks his arms, turning it into a Gory Guerrero Special! COLE Wow, great counter by Tim! Despite shouting out in pain, no submission is coming from Shayne. So Tim changes it up, letting Shayne go only to trip him up and put on the MIDWEST SLING!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE There it is! Midwest Sling, the move which has won so many matches for Tim and Shayne is in some serious trouble! The Tag Team Champions are in some serious trouble! This time there's plenty of reason to believe Shayne might tap, as Tim pulls back on his patented submission hold. Luckily for Shayne, Tyler re-appears just in time to come to his rescue. And does so with a Shining Enziguri, CRACKING Tim in the back of the head and sending him crashing out under the ropes to the floor!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Woozy, Cash picks himself up and looks up, to see Tyler leaping out onto him with a CROSSBODY!! "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" COLE What a match this is turning into, could go either way! In the ring, Biffman rolls back in, just as Shayne reaches his feet. He charges with a clothesline, but Shayne ducks and catches Biff coming back with a Leg Lariat! Cover... 1... 2... NO! As Shayne and Biff start battling it out, Tyler rolls back and helps his partner out, setting up a double team on Biff. Together they send the superhero to the ropes, going for a double hiptoss. But Biff blocks it and strikes the SUPERHERO POSE! Arms trapped within this pose, Tyler and Shayne look at each other confused. Before doubling Biffman up with a pair of knees and hitting a Double DDT instead! COACH What a shock, the dude in the superhero costume turns out to be a moron. D*LUX look to have things going their way. At which point, they get some company, as AMBERLYN DUNCAN suddenly appears on the stage! COLE Wait a minute, what's she doing out here? COACH I dunno, but I sure ain't complaining! D*LUX plan their next double team move, but as they do so, Amberlyn starts waving to Tyler. Understandably, Tyler is distracted, especially as when she catches his attention, Amberlyn blows him a kiss. COLE You know, now is really not the time for this. Trying to fend off the distractions, Tyler assists Shayne in a double whip on Biff. A double flapjack follows, planting Biff chest first. Shayne then heads to the top, Tyler still trying not to get caught up looking at Amberlyn, but clearly with his mind in two places at once. No such concerns for Shayne, who reaches the top. And D*LUX combine to hit the Rocket Launcher Clothesline on Biffman! AMBERLYN WHOO! WAY TO GO, TYLER! Waiting on Biff, Shayne hits an inverted atomic drop, setting Biff in place. He calls for Tyler to hit the ropes, which Tyler does. But Biff starts to fight back, just as a half-distracted Tyler comes back... *SMACK* ...AND ACCIDENTALLY HITS SHAYNE WITH THE YAKUZA KICK!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh no! Miscue by D*LUX! COACH Well, well, well. Shocked, Tyler holds his head in his hands as he looks down at Shayne, distraught at what he just did. Tyler then turns around, to get wiped out with a Spinning Wheel Kick from Biffman. AMBERLYN Tyler rolls away, leaving Shayne to Biffman, who lifts him up onto his shoulders and hits the FANFARE FOR THE SUPER MAN!!! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my! Biffman and Tim Cash just beat the Tag Team Champions! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of TTIIIIIMMM CCAAASSSHHH and BBIIIIIIIFFFFFFMMMMMAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tim rolls back in and embraces his partner, elated with the big win. As Tim and Biff's hands are raised in victory, Amberlyn starts to realise what just happened and quickly takes off. COLE It's all very well running off now. The damage has been done! While Tim and Biff celebrate a well earned victory with a handshake and play to the crowd, Tyler looks up at the stage, to find Amberlyn mysteriously gone. He then looks back at Shayne laid out feet away and holds his head in his hands again. COLE I don't want to call it an upset, but it's certainly a HUGE result here as the former World Tag Team Champions overcome the current Tag Team Champions. But, what part did Amberlyn Duncan play in this... and what the hell was she thinking?COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Heading down the corridor moments after their defeat at the hands of Tim Cash and Biffman, a bedraggled and frustrated Shayne Brave marches out in front, with Tyler Bryant trying to catch up to him. TYLER Bro, I'm sorry! SHAYNE Just leave it dude. TYLER Come on, we gotta talk about this... SHAYNE Talk about what!? The fact you just kicked me in the face out there!? Surprised to hear his longtime partner raise his voice at him, Tyler backs down. SHAYNE You know what, we both know what happened tonight. It's the same problem. You haven't got your head in the game! TYLER Look, I'm sorry... SHAYNE Sorry's not good enough this time. You know what, maybe you need to figure out what you want more, these Tag Titles, or your girl. TYLER Whoa whoa. Don't do this to me, man. SHAYNE Maybe I just did bro. Shayne shakes his head and walks away, leaving Tyler looking sad. Cut back to Sofa Central, with a VERY smug looking Jonathan Coachman. COACH Go ahead. COLE Go ahead what? COACH Tell me I was right. I'm waiting. COLE *sighs* Much as it pains me to say it... maybe, in some way, you might have been... actually, you know what, I can't do it. Let's go to our next segment. COACH But, my moment! Don't rob me of my moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage, we find Remy Bazil, going through some warm-ups in a quiet part of the arena. As he does so, a figure suddenly looms over him. That of the World Champion, Bohemoth. BOHEMOTH Getting ready, I see? REMY Dat's right, big fella. BOHEMOTH Good. I just wanted to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into tonight. REMY Listen, Krista... BOHEMOTH No, forget Krista! What you're getting into tonight is MY business, okay? You're stepping into my world. What you do tonight affects me, so you better listen up. Everybody around here knows Krista isn't one hundred percent, no matter what she says to try and fool people. Her back, it's not the same, it'll NEVER be the same after the damage I did to it! She's there for the taking. Tonight, I want you to take her out. I want her beaten. I want her battered! REMY You want me to beat her. Pas de probléme. BOHEMOTH No, I want her demoralised! I want you to take everything she has, take her dignity, take her bravado, take her health, take it all! I want nothing left of her after tonight! NOTHING! I want her gone, done, finished! Remy looks up at Bohemoth, wide-eyed as the monster rants and waves. Thankfully, Bohemoth catches himself and calms himself down. BOHEMOTH You do that for me... I'll give you a shot at the World Title. Don't let me down. Bohemoth walks off, leaving Remy with a lot to think about.COMING UP NEXT THE MAINEVENTKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS REMY BAZILNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Kid Rock’s “Devil Without a Cause” joins a river of red smoke in welcoming Remy Bazil onto the entrance stage. The Cajun superstar shuffles his trademark deck of cards and smirks as he heads towards the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty five minutes! Now making his way to the ring weighing two hundred seventeen pounds, he hails from New Orleans, Louisiana, he is REMMMMMMMMY BAAAAZZZZILLLLLLLL! COLE Remy Bazil with the biggest opportunity in his career here in tonight’s mainevent as he’ll face number one contender to the OAOAST World Championship Krista Isadora Ducan. COACH If Remy wins, The Beast has promised him a world title shot. So the cat has a chance to elevate his profile severely. Normally, you’d say going against Krista is a good way to damage your career and wreck your self esteem, but in this case he’s going up against a Krista that isn’t in good health. Remy flicks a card at Buffer upon entering the ring, and then confidently awaits his opponent.Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey A multi coloured entrance stage is the home to a bevy of dancers drapped in nothing more than French flags. They writhe and grind their sexy bodies to the beat of “On Top Of The World”. But attention soon turns to the tanned godess that makes her way onto the entrance. Krista puts off a highly eye catching pose while the dancers groove and move around her. BUFFER And the opponent! Hailing from the unofficial capital of the UNIVERSE, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA!! She is a New York Times best selling author... a reality TV star... the founder of the FIT with KID line of exercise videos... a member of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame... the most desirable woman in Hollywood...KRISTA... IIIISSSSSAAADDOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!!!! Krista takes a lesiruely stroll down the entrance ramp, stopping to see if anyone has any crepes. Its France, people should have crepes! COLE There’s the woman who was taken to her limit last week by her girlfriend Alix Maria Spezia to earn the right to compete against Bohemoth at On Top Of The World. COACH If Remy does his job, Krista will be so battered and demoralized that she won’t even want to show up to face The Beast for the championship. Krista sends the home audience running for the baby oil and the tissues by hanging herself upside down on the third rope. Finally, she enters the squared circle to begin the contest. DING DING DING KRISTA Alright, honey, what’s your gimmick? What’s your deal? What are you giving me to work with? REMY My “gimmick” is that I am a true southern gentleman, chere. KRISTA So in other words, you hate ethnic minorities, love Jesus, vote Republican and worship NASCAR drivers. I think I can work with that. Remy starts the contest by slamming his knee into Krista’s toned stomach. KRISTA You know I do five hundred stomach crunches a day, right. If you really want to hurt me call me a second rate Jewish Jillian Michaels, of course I’ll carve your lungs out and hang them on my bed post but at least you’ll have hurt my feelings. REMY Chere, I only want to win the match, and the title. And your heart. Remy KISSES Krista’s hand. KRISTA If you gave me a STD, I’m going to be very mad. Krista hammers Remy across the face with a forearm. Remy takes this blow in stride and attaches Krista into a sideheadlock. COACH Remy’s facing a Krista Isadora Duncan that may not be one hundred percent, I think he could come in here and pull a major upset. Krista slips free of the headlock, only to get punched in the face by Remy. Thinking, Krista stunned Remy runs the ropes. But as he returns Krista nearly takes his head off with a leaping sidekick! KRISTA So, you’re new around here. Let me get to know you a bit. You look like the type who sits at home late at night, munching on sugar free Jello and reading incest sex stories am I correct? No need to answer, I figure my assumptions are a much easier way to characterize people instead of actually getting to know them as a person. Remy doesn’t take that insult lying down and charges at Krista. Predictably, she thwarts his attack with a beautiful dropsault. Clutching his sore face, Bazil gets back to his feet. He can offer no counter to the back flip Rock Bottom Krista nails him with! COLE That’s a new one! Krista gets up clutching her ribs, but determined not to show weakness, she positions herself at Remy’s side. This gives the audience a rise in anticipation for the bootysault. She motions them to get louder, and they do so with increased cheers. KRISTA “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH I don’t know if its good to have Krista back, but its good to have her ass back! Krista completes the moonsault portion of the move, by flipping onto a prone Remy. The referee scores the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Remy rolls away from Krista, heading towards the ropes. He uses them to pull himself upright. He’d like to go on the attack, but he’s suddenly dropped from a leg sweep by Krista. As Remy lies on the mat, Miss California bounces off the ropes into a springboard leg drop! She comes up limping, however, and leans against the ropes. COACH That is not a woman who is in good shape. Krista isn’t done with the aerial show, however, springing onto the top rope for an attempt at a split legged corckscrew moonsault. But, Remy slides out the way and Krista is forced to land on her heels. The New Orleans native retreats all the way to the outside, desperate to regroup and rethink his strategy. KRISTA I spark so much fear into the heart of this man that he runs away. Either that or I have very bad breath. The five time world champion dashes across the ring, and launches herself over the posts with an amazing sky twister press. The second Remy turns around, her body slams into his, pushing them both to the ground! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant, although their joy is tempered somewhat when Krista comes up limping once again. COLE And right here is the problem, Krista isn’t fully healed, obviously, and she’s never going to half ass her in ring performance, as much as she might say she doesn’t care about it. Those two combined are a very dangerous combination for her. Looking for a quick end to the contest, Krista throws Remy back into the ring. Problematically, Remy rolls right back out the ring to the side of the announcers. COLE Well, Remy is supposed to be softening Krista up for Bohemoth, but right now he’s just running away from her. Krista stalks Remy’s position, limping as she does so. Upon catching up to him, she grabs a firm hold of his brown hair. KRISTA Answer this question and not only will I not throw you into the guardrail I’ll let you fondle my breasts: What is the capital of Maryland? REMY Annapolis! KRISTA Correct, but I’m still going throw you into the guardrail. Krista does just that, and Remy’s body trembles from the agony of the impact. After backing up several feet, the Los Angeles native charges forward with a running knee. But Remy upends her over the guardrail! Krista comes down on both feet, but hobbles ever so slightly. COACH She can’t even do simple shit like jumping without limping. Kritsta elevates herself onto the steel guardrail, ready to leap at Remy. But Bazil strikes first, dropkicking her legs out from under her! This causes Krista to drop neck first onto the guardrail! COLE Oh, right on the neck, which Krista suffered a sprain in at the hands of our world champion. Remy takes a sip of water from a nearby fan’s bottle and smiles over the pain he’s caused. As the fans jeer and deride him, he returns to the ring. He points to Krista, and demands that the referee count her out. COACH Remy just did Bohemoth a good favor if that move has any lasting impact on Krista’s neck! The referee begins counting Krista out. ONE! TWO! Krista begins to stir, to Remy’s consternation. THREE! She climbs to her feet, and though she’s dazed she slides back into the squared circle. An annoyed Remy, immediately pounces upon her with stomps from his brown boots. Fighting through his attacks, the fitness queen gets to her feet. But, Remy’s questing hands find their mark with punches. Krista is stunned, and as such is nailed with a one arm swinging neckbreaker! COLE There’s the Overhand Shuffle! Could we be seeing a big upset? Remy lazily drapes his arm across Krista’s sizable chest for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista makes the kickout! COLE I think Remy should have hooked the leg there. You’re not going to beat Krista with such a lazy pin. Remy turns to the crowd and rather loudly proclaims his greatness. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Remy runs the ropes, bouncing back to nail Krista in the face with a running boot! COLE Ooh! Right in the face, Krista isn’t going to like that! COACH But Bohemoth is! This time Remy hooks the legs for the pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! No, only a two count! COLE Almost a GIGANTIC upset here on HeldDOWN~! Remy grabs Krista into a front facelock, using it to pull her upright. From there he drops her to the canvas with a falcon arrow. Backstage, Bohemoth watches with a smile on his face. COLE There’s the world champion, who has to be happy with the turn this match has taken. Remy orders Krista to get to her feet. Never one to follow ones, Krista purposely stays down. Thusly Remy has to go pull her upright. That’s when Krista snaps off a side effect! COLE Blonds Never Pay a Cover! The New Orleans native scatters upright, and is hit in the jaw with a spinning back kick. He’s then thrown across the ring and into corner. Miss California charges at Remy, but is beaten back by a raised elbow. This causes her to stumble away, holding her hand to her sore nose. Remy is able to catch up with her, and apply a full nelson in hopes of hitting a full nelson leg sweep. COLE Perhaps going for that Ace In The Hole! However, Krista uses her surprising strength to power out the hold. So stunned is Remy, that he doesn’t defend himself against the KIDology she nails him with! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the capacity Paris crowd cheers. COLE There it is! Krista grabs onto Remy’s legs and the referee scores the pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Bohemoth slides into the ring and immediately runs through Krista with a lariat! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Krista tries to get to her feet, but is unable thanks to a boot to the head from the world champion. She falls over onto her back, which allows Bohemoth to plant stomps into her face. COLE The champion is doing a number on the challenger! The fans pop as MAYA rushes out wielding a steel chair! Bohemoth merely smirks as she enters the ring full of fury and ill-tempered manners. COACH I don’t think Maya should be in there right now. The champ isn’t known to show mercy on anybody! Bohemoth decides he’s done enough damage to Krista for one night and simply departs the ring. As he backs up the steel entrance ramp, he raises his title for all to see.FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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