Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3DANGLESLAM 2011 A still shot of Baron catapulting Reject into the chamber wall. A still shot of Ned throwing Reject face first into Leon's pod. A still shot of Bohemoth spearing Morgan Nerdly into Leon's pod. A still shot of Baron being thrown right through the side of the pod A still shot of Black lariating Reject. A still shot of Bohemoth posing triumphantly with the title. We cut straight to Sofa Central where Double C awaits to call the action. COLE Straight off the greatest Angleslam in history, it is OAOAST HeldDOWN live from Boston! I am Michael Cole sat alongside Da Coach for tonight's spectacular show.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST UNITED STATES TITLE CHRISTIAN WRIGHT VS OSCAR FRIBERG TONIGHT*SREEECH* “Where Would You Rather Be” swings through the arena, met with a chorus of heated jeers. Striding onto the entrance stage, attired in a black vest and tight black pants, is the world champion, Bohemoth. COACH There he is, Mikey! There is the man who not only survived the Elimination Chamber he thrived in it. COLE Bohemoth outlasted five other top performers in the most gruesome structure ever invented. He has in the minds of many officially cemented himself as the face of this company. The question now becomes who, if anyone, can take that world title off his waist? Bohemoth poses on the turnbuckle with the world title held firmly in hand. After setting himself on the mat, he’s given a microphone. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BOHEMOTH Boo? Boo? You’re going to boo me after the performance I delivered at Angleslam? “OVERRATED! OVERRATED! OVERRATED!” BOHEMOTH You can chant overrated all you want, but we all know the truth. The truth is that you can’t get enough of me. Why did you all make the show with my name in it, The Bohemoth Supremacy, the most watched pay per view of the year next to Anglemania? Why are you flocking to the arenas to see a show headlined by me? COLE The champion is teeming with confidence. BOHEMOTH If you hate me so much why are my t-shirts flying off the stands at a record setting pace? Because deep down you love me. But, I don’t care about any of you! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BOHEMOTH You’re just the middleman between me and my money. You’ve got your hard earned dollars from your minimum wage jobs, flipping burgers, or bagging groceries, or stocking shelves and you decide to spend it on me. You spend it on me because you want to see the most dominant wrestler to ever live. You spend it on me because you know ITS ALL ABOUT ME! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” BOHEMOTH Let’s talk about the Elimination Chamber. From what the experts said, it would be the match that doomed my world title reign. You people figured it would be the end of my run on top. It wasn’t a matter of if I was going to lose the belt, it was a matter of who was going to pin me. But, guess what happened? I didn’t lose! I won! I dominated like never before! Its about time you people got used to this sight. This sight of me coming out the show after a big match and still holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. No can beat me! Not even on my worst day! Baron Windels couldn’t do it. Alix Maria Spezia couldn’t do it. Ned Blanchard couldn’t do it. Nathaniel Black couldn’t do it. Reject couldn’t do it. Leon Rodez couldn’t do it. No one can do it! Who’s even left to try and test me? Moneymaker? Landon? Mister Dick? I’ll crush them all! It will be the same old story no matter who faces. I’ll always walk out the champion! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BOHEMOTH So, I want to know, who’s got next? Who’s going to come out here and run their mouth and tell me they’re gonna take my title, become the new face of this company. Who’s going to tell me its all about them?Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey The stunned crowd leaps to their feet in response to the familiar Pussycat Doll’s tune. Bohemoth lowers his sunglasses, and stares with a mortified expression at the entrance ramp. His hands tremble and the microphone nearly falls out his fingers. COLE Can it be? Drawing a MAMMOTH cheer from the sold out Boston crowd is the appearance of Krista Isadora Duncan! COLE IT IS~! Bohemoth’s face cringes in disgust and rage as his fists tighten into large balls. He loudly curses, and demands to know the hows and whys of Krista’s return. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Now, now, there’s no reason to chant so loudly, its not like I cured testicular cancer or anything. I mean, I could if I wanted to, but then what other painful illness would I be happy to see my brother Pierce die from. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Dear, BoBo, BOHEMOTH Don’t call me that! KRISTA Do my ears deceive me? Did I just hear you say that you as a true patriot will be offering discreet sexual rendezvous for returning male servicemen? BOHEMOTH Hell no, I didn’t say that! What are you doing here? I injured you! I destroyed your career! I crippled you! KRISTA I wish you had, then I could collect a sizable insurance payment while playing wheel chair basketball in the Special Olympics. I’m automatic from behind the arc. But, of course, you’re an incompetent asexual idiot, who couldn’t manage the simple task of properly crippling a middle aged woman. Bohemoth fumes, trying to come to grips with Krista’s sudden appearance. KRISTA I bet you my dear sweet friend thought you got one over on Ol Auntie Krista. You gave her a grievous injury, strolled away with her world title, and managed to keep your heat and self respect intact. Sure, you still have the intelligence and overall physical attractiveness of Billy Bob Thornotn's character in Slingblade, and yes you strategically time your masturbation sessions so your mom continues to catch you, but all in all you did pretty swell. Or so you thought. And given that you're a professional wrestler, you don't think very well. If you weren't a professional wrestler, you might be able to string together two complete sentences with out your braincells being more worn out than Christian Wright's mother backstage at a Motley Crue concert. Where am I going with this? I'm going to a place that has a big fat sign that reads "Bohemoth is an idiot because he thought he got rid of Krista for good" And that sign is in Courier font in case you were wondering such a thing. And if you are, you're a real weirdo. Bohemoth, you did indeed cause me severe pain, not as much as the Smurfs movie did, but hey it was still pretty bad. You did indeed leave my battered and broken body without a cheap belt made of fake metal. But, you have not won this war, and you have not, I repeat have not, I repeat have not, I repeat have not, I repeat have not, managed to keep your self respect intact. Because I am back! I am standing on two legs, which is amazing given how much booze I downed before I came out here, and I think Alix put acid in it. Regardless, my injuries are healed up, and I'm ready to do something very important. Solve the deficit crisis, tweet my thoughts on Lil Wayne’s new album, take back the OAOAST World Title, and your self respect along with it! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BOHEMOTH No! No! No! That is not going to happen! I’m not going down this road with you! I’m gonna stand here like I got some damn respect for myself. KRISTA If that’s so then why are you wearing jeggings? BOHEMOTH I am not….shut up! Just, shut up! I won’t do business with you! I won’t even give you a title match! While Bohemoth stomps about the ring in a rage, Alfdogg walks through the parted entrance doors. ALFDOGG Krista, let me be the first to welcome you back to the OAOAST. KRISTA Actually, honey, Maggie already did that. As did the catering lady. And the makeup guy. And that weird hobo with the peg leg that hangs around here, what’s his name? Vinny Valentine, or something, but hey, fourth place isn’t so bad. They don’t give you a medal for it. Meaning you’ll have nothing to pawn off to feed your painkiller addiction when it inevitably spirals out of control. But, yes, carry on with whatever you about to say. ALFDOGG Bohemoth, I give you major respect for winning the Elimination Chamber. Bohemoth just frowns as he continues to be in a state of rage from this situation. ALFDOGG But, you don’t get to make the matches around here. I do. KRISTA You tell him, honey, and after you’re done telling him for the love of good shave that mullet. BOHEMOTH I beat her already! I destroyed her, left her for dead! Why should she get another title shot? She has to earn it! ALFDOGG I agree, and that’s why next week we’ll have a number one contender’s match. Bohemoth, you did a great thing by winning the Elimination Chamber, and I know you don’t want to do business with Krista, so I’m going to do you a favor and I’ll let you hand pick Krista’s opponent for the number one contendership. But pick wisely, because if they win, you’ll have to face them for the world title at In Your Parents Basement: On Top Of The World. Bohemoth takes a good long while to consider his vast array of options. KRISTA Sweet mercy, just tell us what moron you want me to squash! BOHEMOTH Alix. KRISTA That moron is my girlfriend! BOHEMOTH Exactly. KRISTA (to Alf) This is because I made fun of your mullet, isn’t it? ALF Yes. Bohemoth smiles widely, pleased with his selection of Krista’s opponent. COLE Alix against Krista next week on HeldDOWN for the number one contendership to the OAOAST World Title! COACH That's an Anglemania level match!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Kid Rock's "Devil Without A Cause" hits and without a care in the world, Sloppy Joe Manwich walks out. Why? Well, he's perfectly happy, having procured some NACHOS along the way and is entranced with eating them on his way down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Omaha, Nebraska... weighing in at two hundred and eighty pounds... SSSLLLLLLOOOOOOPPYYYYYYYYY JJOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE MMMMAAAAANNWWWWIIIIIIIIICCHHHHH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And in the ring, from , one hundred ninety two pounds, MATT CARTER! Carter waves to the crowd, as Sloppy Joe slops his way up the steps and into the ring. Before the match can get started, the referee asks Joe to hand over his nachos. Eager to get the most out of them, Joe wolfs down as many as he can before the box is taken from him. COACH Diet and exercise, the keys to being a great athlete. *DINGDINGDING* Both men leave the corner, but Carter is hesitant to lock up. Partly because Sloppy Joe is still licking the melted cheese off of his fingers. COLE Who knew someone called Sloppy Joe could be so disgusting. Finally there's a lock-up and Joe quickly uses his weight to muscle Carter back into the corner. The referee calls for a break and Carter tries desperately to get out of the corner, but is trapped by Joe leaning against him. Sloppy Joe finally backs away and Carter looks grossed out. COLE Carter almost disappeared then. Never to return. COACH You need to lay off of Joe, Cole. He's not that overweight. You know what happens when you start making fun of people out here. Locking up again, Carter is 'muscled' back into a corner again. Again the referee wants a break. But this time, Joe surprises his opponent with a forearm smash! Trapping Carter in the corner, Sloppy Joe proceeds to use his weight to his advantage, ramming himself back into Carter repeatedly. The wind is slowly driven out of Carter and he slumps down in the corner. Joe isn't done though and with Carter sat against the bottom turnbuckle, he takes a seat, smushing Carter against the corner! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE You try telling Matt Carter that Sloppy Joe isn't overweight right now! COACH I would, but he appears to have a rather large ass pressed against his face at the moment. I'll wait until he's free to talk. When Sloppy Joe finally stands up, Carter starts gasping for air. Fresh air. Sloppy Joe drags him up by the wrist and delivers a short arm clothesline, then covers... 1... 2... No! Hooking him up, Sloppy Joe lifts Carter up for a vertical suplex. And then just drops him back, avoiding the effort of having to fall to the mat himself. Cover again... 1... 2... No! COLE Sloppy Joe trying to get this one over with pretty quickly. COACH I don't blame him. This match is taking up valuable eating time! Joe drags Carter up again, whipping him to the corner. As Carter staggers out, he falls into the arms of Joe, who executes a Sloppy slam, near the turnbuckles. To a few groans and murmurs from the crowd, Sloppy Joe then heads up the turnbuckles. Up to the second rope, he bounces up and down a couple of times, building enough momentum to throw his 280 pounds back down with a Vader Bomb!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE He calls that the Slop Drop! With his opponent left clutching his ribs, Sloppy uses the ropes to stand back up. And he raises his arm in the air, flapping it around for all to see. COLE Oh no. Sloppy pulls the helpless Carter to his feet. Having built up enough of a sweat, Joe grabs him by the head and proceeds to shove the poor opponent's face right into his armpit!!!! "UUURRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE You know, women watch this show. COACH Correction. Women did watch this show. The foul stench renders Carter helpless, retching and wheezing. Sloppy Joe sends him into the corner again. Carter looks on, struck with horror, as Joe then charges in after him and hits a big AVALANCHE! As Carter stumbles out of the corner, worse is yet to come, as Sloppy Joe builds up steam off the ropes and crushes him with a RUNNING CROSSBODY!! COACH It's Called A MANWICH! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... SLOPPY JJOOOEEEE MMAAAANNWWWIIIIICCHHHH!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With his hand raised in victory, Sloppy Joe is presented with his prize. The rest of his nachos, which he immediately starts to devour, sloppily, over the immobile body of his opponent. COACH A well earned feast for Sloppy Joe. COLE An impressive win. But... do we really have to watch the man eat? Is there nothing else we can go to? Please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Yes there is, Michael! Back at one of the OAOAST's interview set-ups, Terry Taylor is on Duncan family business. But thankfully for him and his well-being, he's got the much easier, safer task of interviewing Krista's two daughters. And both seem in a good mood, Maya cheerily happy to stand alongside Jade, who holds the Women's Title belt over her shoulder. TAYLOR Alright guys, Terry Taylor backstage and I'm stood with two girls who, thankfully, seem to have called truce to their rivalry after a tremendous match at AngleSlam, Jade and Maya. Girls, it's good to see you two getting along again. MAYA Yeah, well, sisters fight sometimes, you know. What are you gonna do? We've both done and said some things that were kinda childish, that I think we both regret. JADE Agreed. MAYA And I think we can both agree that we were equally at fault for what happened. JADE ...well... MAYA So! We've got it out of our system now. We had our match, it rocked, of course. I figured, you know, I'm the athlete of the family, I'll be able to win that title pretty easily once I tire Jade out. Which shouldn't take too much effort. Get her running around for a couple of minutes, she'll be sucking wind so hard people would go down with oxygen deprivation at ringside. But, I under-estimated her. Turns out, she's kinda awesome too. Jade seems embarrassed at the compliment (once it finally comes) and laughs it off. JADE Well, thanks. And you're awesome too. I'm just glad we've managed to come out of this with a new respect for each other. And, I think maybe we're better friends, better sisters now than ever. No more mean tricks, no more name calling... MAYA I don't remember agreeing to that. JADE But... MAYA We're sisters. I can't promise I'll never call you a mean name. Seriously now. JADE I... guess that's fair enough... MAYA Tell you what. I'll promise that I'll try not to... no, I can't really promise that either. Look, I promise not to goad you into giving me a wrestling match for your belt by making the rest of our family think you have a learning disability. JADE ...okay... MAYA See! We're making progress! This is great, what's your next question Terry? Jade looks slightly less smiley and happy, realising she's back to where she was, but soon figures that's good enough and tries to return a smile to Maya. TAYLOR I guess the next question is, now this little family feud has been resolved, what's next for you two? MAYA Well, we go back to showing why we're straight up better than everybody else! Duh! We still need to work a few things out. But, I think together, me and Jade can co-exist as champion and child sensation. There's room enough for two awesome Duncans in the women's division. We just need to share out the workload a little, you know. It's not "all about me", or all about Jade, we're not narcissistic muscle freaks obsessed with being reverred by the whole world. Most of that sentence comes naturally. And muscles on a girl are kinda weird, if you go too far. No, me and Jade, we can totally share responsibilities out and be happy. She can do some cameos in my commercials. I'm gonna help her out with her photoshoot deal... JADE Whoa whoa! I don't remember agreeing to that. MAYA Yeah, but it makes perfect sense. JADE Posing for pictures with my little sister? That sounds really creepy. MAYA So what, you're going to do the photoshoot... on your own? Alright. JADE Why? What's wrong with that? MAYA Nothing! Nothing. I'm sure you'll look... you know... pretty. JADE Hey! I can be sexy! MAYA You can't even 'say' sexy and sound sexy. You make it sound like effort. As Jade tries to protest, the interview is crashed by yet another Duncan, as AMBERLYN walks in on the girls' conversation. AMBERLYN Hey girls, I just wanted to say, totally dug your match. Way to go. Glad you've sorted everything out. JADE Yeah, listen, we need to talk as well. AMBERLYN Can it wait sweetie, I'm really busy right now. JADE ...you were the one who walked up to us! AMBERLYN Yeah, I know. But I just wanted to get my face on camera, that's all. Amberlyn tries to leave, but is hauled back by Jade. JADE You and Tyler. What the hell's going on? AMBERLYN Whoa, easy with the third degree there missy! Look, I know you're young, so it's hard for you to understand... JADE I'm twenty one, Amberlyn. Spill. AMBERLYN Me and Tyler are dating. What more do you need to know? I don't know what your problem is, but frankly, I don't care. Because we're happy. We make each other happy. A lot. If you know what I mean. Just let us have our fun and stop questioning everything! Sheesh. All he gets from you and from his little 'tag team partner' are questions. Do you think Tyler's unhappy? I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to him! I mean, look at me. I'm like a developed version of you. Or, a younger version of your Mom. Jade and Maya look at each other. JADE You know she'd kill you if she heard you say that. AMBERLYN ...please don't tell her. JADE Look, Tyler's a great guy, okay. And he doesn't deserve to be messed around by some fickle 'party girl' who's just looking for a good time. Just think very carefully about what you do. Annoyed at getting a dressing down from Jade, Amberlyn nods and accepts what Jade is saying, but still manages to sulk about it. AMBERLYN Alright, I'll be 'nice' to your little friend. What do you care so much for, anyway? Amberlyn walks off and Maya gives Jade a knowing look, which causes the Women's Champion to stomp off as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 COURTESY: ANGLESLAM THE ENCORE PRESENTATION Still photos accompanied by audio of the Sperm Dumpster match air. Highlighted is the fireball attack on Deuce and his return after being carted off to single-handedly win the match for his team. Afterwards we cut to exclusive footage recorded backstage at AS where MAGGIE NERDLY runs around like a reporter in a war zone. MAGGIE Hey ya’ll. Your favorite it girl Maggie Nerdly reporting live backstage from Angleslam, where moments ago one of the most shocking acts of violence occurred when Abdullah Nerdly threw a fireball in the face of Deuce Deuce Bigelow. And here comes Ab right now. Abdullah steps through the curtain and spots Maggie. ABDULLAH What do you want? MAGGIE Answers. ABDULLAH Why? Did you enroll back in college? ‘Cause you can’t force me to do your homework anymore. I’m a man. I’m in my twenties! MAGGIE You know what I mean. I suggest you speak while you still can because Deuce is coming after you. ABDULLAH Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Though we’ve had our differences in the past I assure you the fireball was not intended for Deuce. Whatever fire that burns inside ought to be directed at Big Papa Thrust, whose hateful and hurtful remarks towards me were completely uncalled for and should be denounced by all. You saw the video. I was enjoying my lunch when he verbally assaulted me. Unprovoked, I might add! That xenophobic bigot is lucky the unfortunate incident involving Deuce got me to open my eyes. Now I intend to let my lawyer deal with Big Papa Thrust rather than tear him limb by limb myself. Thank you and good night. Abdullah exit’s the picture and we cut LIVE backstage where the BICEP of BIG PAPA THRUST covers the entire FACE of OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor. OOHLALA (squeezes bicep) Oohlala. TERRY As you can see, I’m here with the man with the largest arms in the galaxy, Big Papa Thrust, and the lovely Oohlala, who along with Deuce Deuce Bigelow were victorious this past Sunday at Angleslam in the first-ever Sperm Dumpster match. It was a brutal affair that nearly turned tragic when Deuce got struck with a fireball aimed for you, Big Papa. BIG PAPA THRUST If if’s and but’s were berries and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas, Terry Taylor. See, I’m not gonna come out here and cry like a baby over what happened to Deuce. It’s a violent world and a violent sport. Sometimes you’re the pig, sometimes you’re the butcher. Deuce was the pig Sunday night, but I give the sonuvabitch all the credit in the world for returning to action after going down like one of these skank Hollywood hoes. Seems he took my warning earlier that day to heart knowing if he didn’t come back and kick ass that I’d go back and kick his ass. TERRY You sure do have a way with words. Anyway, your reaction to Abdullah Nerdly’s comments? BIG PAPA THRUST What did he call me, xenophobic? I don’t sleep with dead people. TERRY He means you aren’t too fond of foreigners. BIG PAPA THRUST I'm not fond of some foreigners, but I sure do love to fondle one foreigner. BPT reels Oohlala into his arms. OOHLALA Oh Papa! TERRY I guess that blows a hole in Abdullah’s theory. BIG PAPA THRUST Theories aren’t holes I’m used to blowing, but since Kumar has threaten to tear me limb from limb I’m left no choice other than to appeal to his intellectual side. So next week I want him one on one in the ring. TERRY In a debate? BIG PAPA THRUST In a match. TERRY How's that supposed to appeal to Abdullah's intellectual side? BIG PAPA THRUST 'Cause he'll just take the beating rather than try and fight back if he's smart. TERRY And I'll be smart not to question your line of thinking. More action on the way! Terry's face again is blocked out by BPT's bicep as we cut away. COLE Well that's certainly something to look forward to next week! But this past Angleslam saw the welcome return of the poster child of the OAOAST, The Franchise, Zack Malibu!ANGLESLAM 2011A look of intense and powerful dread falls over Cole’s face as the fate that awaits him quickly sets in. RIGGS Get in the ring, Cole! Cole slowly exits the announce table, his eyes downcast and his shoulders slumped. He grabs a microphone before he meekly heads to what should be a violent end. COACH Mikey, you softer than pasta noodles, b. You got shampoo blood, my nigga. Cole enters the ring, where Riggs and Pierce wait with smiling faces. They eye down Cole the way hungry lion cubs stare at their first meal of the day. COLE Before you beat me up, can I have my last words? RIGGS Go ahead. COLE You said if you won you’d get five minutes in the ring with me, but you never said five minutes alone. Riggs and Pierce both mouth the words “So?” at the helpless announcer. A wide smile slips across Cole’s face, too everyone’s surprise. The reason for his joy becomes all too apparent when the opening strains of “Getting Away With Murder” play over the 1st Mariner Arena. The sold out audience explodes with fantastic cheers as none other than Zack Malibu himself races down the entrance ramp! COACH The Franchise! Got dayum! I say got dayum! Riggs pounces on Zack with stomps the moment he enters the ring. He then stomps away and screams at the top of his lungs at how unfair this situation is. “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” Riggs and Pierce join hands and attempt to strike down Zack with a double lariat. However The Franchise ducks the attack, and bounces off the ropes. He comes back to floor both Riggs and Pierce with double lariats! COLE COACH Look at ol boy, Cole, muggin like a fool! Riggs makes a mad dash at Zack, and is swung through the air with an ANGLE SLAM! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierce raises his fists and readies to pummel Zack from behind. But The Franchise is aware of his presence and swings around to clock him with a SCHOOL’S OUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierce and Riggs are left battered, beaten, thoroughly defeated and utterly humiliated as Cole kicks them out the ring! “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!” The Charm City crowd sings. MALIBU I know that it's been on all of your minds as to what's been going on with me the last few months, and I'm here to set the record straight on some things. To be completely honest, I've enjoyed sitting at home the past few months, ever since I defeated Anglesault at Anglemania. After going nonstop since 2002, I'm not going to lie, it felt good to rest and relax. It felt good to wake up next to Candie and not in an empty hotel room. It felt good to chase my daughter around our yard, and to see her for more than minutes at a time. There were days where I wasn't even thinking about setting foot in this ring again, because life with them...it's pretty perfect. Then one day, I get a call...not the call from Michael Cole asking me to be here tonight. Not the call from the shareholders. No, I got a call from the SWF. The fans start booing at the mention of the rival federation, and former home to OAOAST superstars such as Bruce Blank and Todd Cortez. MALIBU You all know I've dealt with the SWF in the past, and I got the call that they're looking at restarting operations again. They were looking to add to the roster and they reached out to me, saying that maybe being in the OAOAST office and in the ring is too much of a conflict of interest, but that if I were to continue my career over there as their new Franchise Player, it'd be beneficial to me and a coup for them. So I listened to what they had to say, and I hung up the phone. I shut the door to the office in my house, and I sat there. I sat and thought about everything I've been through. I thought about Anglesault, and Popick, and Agnes, and Bruce Blank, and all the blood that's been spilled through the years. I thought about the challenge of people I've never faced off with, the people on their roster that have downplayed and mocked our existence for years. I thought about my career, and if I've done everything I could possibly do in the OAOAST. I've been here since the beginning. I've won titles, I've won wars. I've been admired by you and hated by you. I've battled almost every man AND woman who has set foot in that locker room... Zack is interrupted by the chants of "PLEASE DON'T GO" that come up from the crowd, overpowering his speech. He lowers the mic, pausing, and takes a moment before speaking again. MALIBU I thought about all the things I've done, and all the things I could still do. I walked out of that office and looked at my girlfriend, and looked at my daughter, and I told them what I was thinking. I stood there and my daughter, she comes running over and grabs my leg and hugs it, and says "You just need to be happy, daddy." So I turned around and grabbed my phone, and I made the call to the SWF, and I said the only place that I'm going is home. And when I say home I didn't mean to Providence, Rhode Island. I didn't mean that I was going to retire from in-ring competition. When I said I was returning home I meant that I was coming back HERE, to this ring, to crowds like you people...because my home is RIGHT HERE IN THE OAOAST! The fans roar with approval, as Zack looks at them all. MALIBU I have done so much here, and you people have been with me every step of the way, but there's a lot of unfinished business that needs to be dealt with. Namely, Jason Silver. The crowd boos at the mention of Anglesault's nephew, the man responsible for seriously injuring his uncle in an attack after Anglemania. MALIBU Now I noticed, and I'm sure you have to, that Jason Silver hasn't shown his face around here much since I went home. It seems that for all the talk of him being the greatest prospect in the OAOAST, he ran out when the spotlight wasn't shining on him. Now I know he's been trashing me at every turn and saying I'm the one who ran out, but Jason, I've got news for you...I'm easy to find. Hell, if you came to my house, you wouldn't have been the first OAOAST superstar to try to cross me that way. Now the fact remains that as much as I hate you, and as much as none of these people respect you, you are an OAOAST superstar and are bound by a contract. So, your time has arrived, my friend. Now that I'm back, I want to see YOU back. Because you and I have something to settle, and the first thing I'm going to do now that I'm back is bring you here, get you in this ring one on one, and beat your ass just like these people want me to do, just like your FAMILY wants me to do, and just like I've been DYING to do since the first night you came out of the crowd and set foot in this ring. So come at me. I'm putting the target on my back right now, but hear this...you can come at me head to head, you can jump me from behind. Parking lots, locker rooms, or right here in this ring. You do what you have to do...just be warned that what you do to me is coming back ten times over on you. Because I'm Zack Malibu...I AM the OAOAST, and the OAOAST will LIVE FOREVER! With that, Zack drops the mic, and his music hits again. Michael Cole gets back into the ring and embraces Zack, allowing the prep to raise his hand, before exiting the ring. COLE It remains to be seen if Jason Silver will answer the challenge and call laid out by Zack. But, if he doesn't, I'm sure Zack will find him someway and somehow.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Whoa is me plays across the public announce system as all eyes turn to the side of the entrance stage. At that location sits a spotless Porsche. Emerging from its driver’s side door is the young rookie Jo-Jo Whoa. The Montreal native hops onto the hood of the car where he strikes a confident pose. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Montreal, Quebec, he weighs in at one hundred eighty seven pounds…THE ONE MAN SHOW….JO-JO WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE Folks, Jo-Jo had these comments say about his opponent, Vinny Valentine.JO-JO What up! What up! What up! Vinny Valentine, I’ve been watching you very closely. And I don’t like what I see. Disco? In 2011? Get that weak shit outta here! They call you the Disco Duck. Back in the day there used to be a game called duck hunt, where you’d shoot down the duck with a fake gun. I don’t have a fake gun, I got real guns! Jo-Jo flexes his muscles. JO-JO And tonight, they’re gonna shoot you down! Whoaaaaaaaaaaa! COACH Mikey Cole, I’m excited to get another look at this kid. COLE For sure. He impressed last week on HeldDOWN. Let’s see what he does this week aganst V-Squared. The groovy tune known as “Disco Heaven” by Lady Gaga allows a disco ball to be lowered into the ring. Back at the entrance stage, Vinny Valentine is in no mood for dancing as he’s engaged in an argument with his cousin Tony. Eventually Tony becomes too much for Vinny to bear and he rams his head into the closed entrance doors! COLE Oh! COACH Damn, my man V-Squared just went wild on Tony! With Tony taken care of, Vinny puts a smile on his face as he heads into battle with Jo-Jo. COLE Vinny Valentine and Tony Tourettes having problems for…well months. But Vinny Valentine has got to put that behind him if he wants to beat Jo-Jo Whoa. DING DING DING Vinny tries to get an early attack in with a kick aimed at Jo-Jo’s midsection. But the French Canadian catches onto his leg and dragon whips him to the ground. JO-JO Everybody say Whoa! “WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Vinny sarcastically applauds Jo-Jo as he comes back to his feet. The two men engage in a lockup at the ring’s center. Vinny muscles the smaller Jo-Jo into the corner. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer calls for a clean break, which Vinny gives. But, suddenly he throws a punch at Jo-Jo. The rookie ducks bellow the attack, and Vinny falls into the corner. Trapped, he’s assailed by punches from the youngster. These punches sag him down to the ground. As Vinny struggles with blurred vision, Jo-Jo backs into the ropes. He fires up the crowd before running across the ring and cannonballing into Vinny! The Disco Duck is knocked out the ring, and seemingly left in anguish. This causes Jo-Jo to head to the top rope. COLE Jo-Jo going big! Jo-Jo sails off the top rope with an amazing swanton bomb! But, Vinny dives back into the ring and poor Jo-Jo’s back is slammed against the canvas. COACH Woe is Jo-Jo! COLE Very clever, Coach. Jo-Jo picks himself off the mat, unsure of Vinny’s location. He’s made aware of it when Vinny baseball slides into him. COLE Let’s talk about Krista’s return to the OAOAST. COACH I think she’s rushed back. She had mad injuries, and when we saw that family reunion footage she was on crutches. That was only three weeks ago! And now all of a sudden she’s good enough to wrestle? I don’t buy it. Vinny rams Jo-Jo’s head into the ring apron, and then stomps him in the back of the neck. Figuring that’s enough to beat the rookie, Vinny dumps him back into the ring for a pinfall… ONE! Kickout! COLE Not even a two count here on HeldDOWN~! Vinny shoots Jo-Jo into the ropes. When the rookie bounces back Vinny clubs him down with an elbow smash. VINNY Aww sookie sookie now! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Vinny waves off the crowd as he goes to pin Jo-Jo… ONE! TWO! No! Vinny chokes Jo-Jo for a full five count. After that count expires he pulls Jo-Jo up, expecting to be able to hit a high impact attack. But Jo-Jo fights back, and Vinny is forced to subdue him with a rake of the eyes. Back in control, Vinny snapmares Jo-Jo to the ground, and follows up with a lateral press… ONE! TWO! Jo-Jo brings the shoulder up! COLE But if Krista’s not one hundred percent, why would she come back? She doesn’t need the money or the exposure. COACH But she needs revenge and Krista is vain and self serving. COLE You don’t say. KRISTA Krista can’t stand if someone is better than or at least equal to her. And Bo and Krista have one win apiece in their feud, she needs to prove she’s without a shadow of a doubt better than him. Vinny drives his zebra print boots into Jo-Jo’s head, causing Jo-Jo to grimace in pain. He then pulls him up, to attempt an irish whip. However, Jo-Jo reverses the hold and Vinny is sent into the cables. Jo-Jo acts prematurely and leapfrogs an opponent who’s hooking onto the ropes. As such he crashes into the canvas. COLE That was a rookie mistake by Jo-Jo. With Jo-Jo on his knee, Vinny shoots across the ring to attempt to introduce him to his Boogie Shoes. But Jo-Jo ducks his head to avoid the variation of the shining wizard! The Montreal native quickly comes to his feet, where he begins trading blows with V-Squared. Vinny stuns Jo-Jo with a thumb to the eye, allowing him to retreat to the ropes. When he comes back, he’s upended with a hurricanrana into a pin! ONE! TWO! Vinny rolls out the pinfall, and acts quickly to nail the Boogie Shoes! COACH Hahahaha! My man V-Squared gonna pull out the win! Vinny certainly seems to think so as he places his PINKY finger atop Jo-Jo for a pin… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! VINNY COLE Vinny has no one but himself to blame for that. With the crowd rallying behind Jo-Jo, Vinny sets the rookie up for the Alabama Jam. COLE Looking for that Night Fever! Caught up in his own arrogance, Vinny takes too long to execute the hold. Thusly Jo-Jo is able to slide down his back with a roll up! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….JO-JO WHOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Jo-Jo smiles broadly as he has his hand raised high into the air by Buzzlefoxer. Behind him, Vinny complains that he wasn’t ready for the pinfall thus it shouldn’t be counted. COLE A second victory for Jo-Jo Whoa on HeldDOWN~! We'll be back with more HeldDOWN after this!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return to HeldDOWN with our view focused on Sofa Central. COLE Last Sunday's Elimination Chamber match was everything we thought it would be and more. Both good and, sadly, bad. At the end of the match, those involved were left with a laundry list of injuries. Nathaniel Black was given a minor concussion at the end of the match and will be out of action whilst he recovers. Baron Windels, who was thrown through one of the Lexan pods, suffered a separated shoulder and will miss some time. Ned Blanchard aggrivated the first degree burns he had suffered on the HeldDOWN prior to AngleSlam, Reject needed stitches to close a cut to his forehead and bruised his tailbone. Even Bohemoth was hurt, an injury to his right arm, although doctors say that will not keep him out of any action. But, worst of all was the injury suffered by someone who wasn't even supposed to be in the match. Morgan Nerdly, who is still being kept in a Baltimore medical facility, after this happened to her at AngleSlam... :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 :05 :04 :03 :02 :01 The lights no longer need to search, hitting on LEON RODEZ's pod. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Leon shows zero emotion as he waits to be unleashed. Until he notices Ned peel away from the action and position himself right outside the pod, that is! Ned yells at the referee to hurry up and unlock the door, just begging Leon to come out and join him! COLE Oh yeah! Come and join the fun why won't you, Leon! The referee finally unlocks the door and as it slides across, Blanchard immediately makes a move, not even waiting for Leon to get out... ...but Ned has to put on the brakes, as Leon SHIELDS THE DOOR, WITH MORGAN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh, COME ON! Leon literally HIDES behind Morgan, who looks petrified at being the last line of defence between him and a seething Ned. Wisely, Ned is cautious not to get too close, yelling at Leon to be a man and put the girl aside. But Leon is perfectly happy to stay inside his pod for a little while longer. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" COLE This is one of the most cowardly acts I think I've ever seen! Growing more and more frustrated by the second, Ned has finally had enough and moves forward. But Morgan bristles up and Ned backs up again. Sensing Morgan is about to get too hot to handle, Leon suddenly shoves her out of the pod and slams the Lexan door back behind her! COACH No, I think this is the most cowardly act. Where-as Morgan was looking ready to strike before, now she finds herself completely isolated and out in the scary surroundings of the Chamber itself. And she completely loses her nerve, much to Leon's disdain. Ned sees this and motions at Morgan to move, but she's frozen in fright. NED COME ON! MOVE YOUR ASS! Rather than move, Morgan starts to shrink into herself in fear, which annoys Ned, desperate to get at Leon. He takes a step forward to try and move her aside himself, when suddenly he hears clattering behind him. Clattering from Bohemoth, who charges down the steel floor, steaming right at Ned... *THUD* ...BUT NED MOVES AND BOHEMOTH SPEARS MORGAN INTO THE LEXAN POD!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Morgan's tiny body bounces off the reinforced glass like a bug off a windshield. Her eyes go vacant and she collapses in a heap, to the shock of everyone close by. Bohemoth. Ned. And, from behind the glass, Leon. COLE Oh my god. COLE As we said, Morgan is still undergoing treatment in Baltimore. The latest update is that Morgan has suffered some level of whiplash injuries, tests have been done to check for any sort of neck or spinal damage and thankfully it appears Morgan suffered no broken bones. But, obviously what happened to Morgan was very traumatic and doctors are making sure she's being well cared for. After the solemn news, Cole starts to scowl a little. COLE With that in mind, Josh Matthews is standing by with the one person who made it out of the Chamber unscathed, Leon Rodez. Back in the dark, secluded reaches of the arena is where we find Leon, sat in the gloom up against a wall. Josh stands beside him, not looking thrilled with the prospect of talking to him. MATTHEWS Leon, we just saw what happened at AngleSlam. But, in all honesty, what we didn't see is what a lot of people are talking about. Your complete lack of concern for Morgan's well-being, after something which was, quite frankly, your fault in the first place. RODEZ My fault? MATTHEWS Yes. You brought Morgan into that pod with you, against the rules of the match. You shoved her out into the firing line. And then, when she was motionless, you were more concerned with trying to find some sort of weapon you'd planted on her! Honestly... it was one of the most disgusting displays I've ever seen in the OAOAST. RODEZ Do you think I care what you think? Do you think I care what any of you think? MATTHEWS No, I don't. RODEZ What happened to Morgan wasn't my fault. What happened to Morgan was Ned Blanchard's fault. I put her in harm's way. I admit that. But, enough with the "whoa is me" act. She's not a child. She's been in a Chamber match before. She knew what she was getting into. MATTHEWS That was totally differe... RODEZ She wasn't so scared when she was out there cavorting half naked in a Chamber last year. But that's not important. I accept blame. I put Morgan in harm's way. And what happened shouldn't have happened. But it was Ned Blanchard who made sure harm came to her. He sent Bohemoth into Morgan. So if anything, he's at least fifty percent to blame. Why don't you ask him if he feels proud of himself? If Bohemoth hadn't been thrown into her, he'd probably have hit Morgan himself. And then, he steals a three count on me. The only reason he pinned me is because I was distracted. Distracted by incompetent EMTs, who got in my way. Who weren't even supposed to be in the Chamber. We're both bad people. Difference is, I admit it. Unlike Ned. Josh looks at Leon incredulously. MATTHEWS You know what... you can interview yourself. I'm done. Josh drops the microphone in Leon's lap and storms off, not willing to be around Leon any longer. RODEZ Fine. Walk away. Picking up the microphone, Leon casually throws it aside. RODEZ Ned, look at yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself if you like what you see. Because I don't. And neither should you. Dismissing the camera with a wave of his hand Leon goes back to staring at the ground, as we cut away. COLE Can you believe the audacity, to try and blame Ned for what happened!? Disgraceful. 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Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Stood in the ring is OAOAST broadcast correspondent Terry Taylor TAYLOR OAOAST Galaxy, my guest at this time…ODIN! powers into the arena. The audience boos at the sight of The God Of War. However their hatred is tempered by surprise as rather than smile Odin wears a deeply troubled expression. COACH Something looks wrong with DA BASED GAWD~! COLE Perhaps he has a bruised ego from submitting to Alexander’s Crossface? Odin steps into the ring, letting out a heavy sigh. TAYLOR Odin- ODIN Don’t call me that. Please don’t call me that. Confused, Terry just stares at Odin. ODIN My name, my real name, is Seth Young. I’m not from some mythical land called Asgard, I’m from a city called Saint Louis, Missouri. I don’t summon lightening, and I don’t wield the power of a god. Not even close, actually. I created this gimmick because I got sick of wasting my life away in OAOVW, and I needed something to launch my career. The front office loved it, and they put me on television. But, frankly, its just not me. And that’s not what I want. I want to be me, Seth Young! TAYLOR It takes a lot of courage to admit that. ODIN And it takes a lot of stupidity to believe it! Seth Young? I go by the name of Odin, the same Odin that fathered Thor, the same Odin your ancestors feared, the same Odin that brings hell upon his enemies, the same Odin that led the forces of Asgard against the frost giants! Saint Louis, Missouri? I am not being of this insipid realm, I’ve ruled over Asgard for an eternity and will continue to do so for eons to come! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” ODIN And do I suck? Do I blow? Do I do anything of the nature that you mortals chant? No! I continue to dominate and destroy whatever I deem objectionable to my godly rule. TAYLOR But, Seth…er Odin? ODIN But what, human? TAYLOR But you submitted to Alexander The Brutal at Angleslam. “YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT!” ODIN You are certainly observant, aren’t you? TAYLOR One of my many qualities, I also have a great collection of Power Ranger pogs. And I’m a killer go kart rider. ODIN Shut up! I didn’t ask for a list of your foolishness. Yes, I did submit to Alexander’s crossface. The reason being is for that one moment in time my godly powers failed me. I could call upon no warriors from the realm of Asgard, or war horses to come to my aid. I was defensesless and I felt mortal pain. Therefore I took the only option available to me at the time, that of surrender. “YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED OUT! YOU TAPPED!” ODIN Stupid humans, I just admitted to that very action! Are you deaf, dumb, or a combination of both? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ODIN I can be defeated, yes, but will I ever be defeated again? Let it be known that the answer to that question is “No!” TAYLOR You’re very confident. ODIN I have all the reasons in the world to be! I am Odin The God Of War! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TAYLOR What’s next for Odin? ODIN The answer to that question can be spoken in two words “The OAOAST Galaxy” TAYLOR That was three words. ODIN Correct me one more time and perish. I can see many of you scratching your heads, your brains working furiously to figure out what I mean. Wonder for no longer, humans, I shall tell you the meaning of my statement. The OAOAST Galaxy numbers in the millions. It stretches across this entire realm. Yet it is lawless and most of all godless. It is full of pagan heathens who answer to no one. Change, however, is on the horizon. For, I shall soon lay claim to the entire OAOAST Galaxy! TAYLOR The entire Galaxy? ODIN Everything from t-shirt stands, to the wrestlers, to the all important OAOAST World Title will be mine. And, you who jeer and mock me, you will all get on bended knee and sing my name in worship.“I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT!” ODIN Who dares to interrupt me? Detective Tango Bosley, and CPA stride to the ring with intense purpose. COLE This is unexpected. Bosley and CPA are given microphones, which does not please Odin. BOSLEY FUCK YEAH! Me and Chris have been backstage listening to what you’ve been saying, and normally we don’t mess with God and religion. Maybe, Chris does because he’s black, and black folk love them some Jesus. But, I was in the cathedral couple months ago doing the confession thing, started talking about my sexual conquests and what not, had to describe it right down to the very last detail of the very last vein on my dick, and I hear this slapping noise, I rip open the curtain and I find the priest beating off. Had to take his ass out to town, dude nearly pissed in holy water I was beating him so bad. Just another day for the Alpha Male! ODIN Was there a point to that useless tale of debauchery and woe? CPA Allow me. You’ve got a pretty good idea going to take over the OAOAST Galaxy. But, you’re just one man. ODIN One god. CPA Yeah, okay, but as you know even a god can get caught slippin’. You need help. You’re gonna need someone to do the grunt work. Bring the “humans” into line. You’re gonna need to followers. Acolytes if you will. Well paid Acolytes, you catch my drift? ODIN Consider it caught. Should you assist me in bringing the OAOAST Galaxy under my rule, you will be handsomely rewarded. BOSLEY GIVE THE ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP SOME! Bosley chest bumps Odin, who certainly did not expect such an action. Odin raises his eyebrows in wonderment as Bosley continues to pump himself up. COLE What does this mean for The OAOAST Galaxy? We'll find out in the coming weeks!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 In the always pristine and well furnished Duncan family dressing room, Alix sits pouring over a Sponge Bob pop up book. ALIX Oh Mister Krabs, your greed always puts a smile on my face! Krista interrupts Alix’s reading by walking into the room. KRISTA Alix, we need to talk. ALIX I swear to god I only bought a hooker one time, and if it makes you feel any better it was a male hooker. KRISTA Why the hell would that make me feel better?! ALIX Well, you know, pretend you were chicken, and I had a choice between eating you and eating another chicken, but I always choose you, but then a cow comes along and I can eat that, so that’s what I choose to eat. But, its not like I chose another chicken over you, I chose another species altogether so its not like I’m saying there’s chickens more satisfying than you, I’m just saying I had thirty bucks, I needed some penis, and the rubber ones in the closet were all dirty. KRISTA Grrrrrrr. We’ll talk about this later, preferably when I have sharp objects at my disposal. What we need to talk about now is the number one contender’s match between us for next week. I know that you have this strange belief that the OAOAST World Title is actually of some importance and value, and you want to be champion again. But, I want to be champion again to. Not because I think its in any way shape or form important, that would be foolish of me and admitting some form of respect for professional wrestling. I just don’t want anyone else to be champion. That’s really my motivation for getting and doing anything, not wanting other people to have it. Its why I bid sixty dollars on grass clippings from Dick Clark’s yard on ebay. But, what I’m trying to express to you is that I won’t hold it against you if you actually try to win the match. So if you do anything of the things you do, I won’t be offended. So, if you want to pinch my nipples I’d be cool with that. ALIX And if you want grab my breasts and knead them between your fingers, that’s okay. KRISTA Likewise, if you want to grind your baby oil slicked ass into my face then I’d be totally accepting of that. ALIX And if you want to grab that same ass and give it a good spanking, I think that would be fair game. KRISTA Frankly, if you bend me over, and your fingers happen to find their way past my thong, and into my rectum I feel that would fall under the rules of the contest. JADE I’m in the room! I’m in the room, damn it!!!!! The camera swings over to Jade, who quickly rushes to the doorway. ALIX What’s your problem? Jade tries to exit in a huff but she’s blocked by Maya. MAYA What’s wrong? JADE I can’t take it anymore! MAYA Well, that’s great! The first step to solving your weight problem is to say your sick of it. JADE AHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! MAYA Elsewhere we see Bohemoth watching this segment with Remy Bazil. REMY Hey, podna, you look mighty confident. BOHEMOTH Why wouldn’t I be? REMY Those two bonne a rienes are gonna turn the match into a sex party! BOHEMOTH I look forward to it. Just like I look forward to Krista KIDologing Alix, or Alix nailing her with the Confessions of a Kristaholic. REMY But what they said- BOHEMOTH Krista didn’t speed up her recovery and work her ass off to get back here because she wants to dick around in the undercard. She came back for revenge and for my title. You heard her. That isn’t going to change just because I put Alix in the way. And, Alix wants nothing more than to prove she’s more than Krista’s sidekick and get her second world title reign. What that means is that they’ll have their kinky fun out there, but the second one sees the opening to beat the other one they’re going take it and destroy the whole family in the process. Who’s gonna be there to sweep up the pieces? Me! Because its all about me! Bohemoth chuckles to himself and departs. REMY Mais, jamais d’la vie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return to ringside to see our veteran ring announcer in the squared circle. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen: the following contest is for The United States Championship!Kiss me, kiss me Infect me with your love and Fill me with your poison Take me, take me Wanna be a victim Ready for abduction Boy, you're an alien Your touch so foreign It's supernatural Extraterrestrial trickles into the arena as the cameras search the stands for Oscar Friberg. They find The Freebird positioned on a set of steps in a middle level of the arena. He rises to his feet with a determined expression and heads down to the ring floor. BUFFER Introducing the challenger, from Amsterdam, Holland, he weighs in at one hundred eighty five pounds, he is THE FREEBIRD….OSCAR FRIIIIBBERRRRGGGGGG! The fans put forth appreciative cheers as Oscar slides into the ring. He removes his top and prepares for the battle ahead. COACH Last year at this time this Friberg was just a goon on the streets of Amsterdam, and Christian was dominating niggas! COLE That says something, it says that Oscar went through OAOVW in less than a year! That’s impressive, Coach. COACH No, this guy is self centered, thankless, unappreciative, and an ingrate! Instead of being respectful of the veterans, he has to be a cocky punk. The rock-rap tune Come With Me picks up and the boos come from every corner of the arena. Taking a knee inside a spotlight at the top of the entrance stage is Christian Wright. Wearing gold tights with a black cross on the back and a gold jacket, he keeps his lowered. But soon he explodes to life, raising his newly won title into the air. Beaming proudly at his side are the royal duo of King Landon and Queen Esther. BUFFER And introducing the champion, from Washington DC, he weighs in at 8 and 1/3 bars of gold, he is THE GOD CHILD….CHRIIIISTTTTIANNNN WRIIIIIGHHHTTTTTTT! Oscar’s blue eyes burn a hole through The Kingdom contigent as they make their way down the entrance ramp. While Wright removes his jacket, Landon and Queen Esther take a seat at Sofa Central. COACH Queen Esther! King Landon! What a treat! LANDON For you? Yeah. But for us? No. Being in the same building as this criminal Oscar Friberg is an affront to our royal stature. He’s been a nuisance for far too long, and tonight he gets dealt with. DING DING DING COACH Christian Wright done come up the hard way. I remember when he was just a grunt in the Upstarts trying to avoid a beat down by Black T. He paid dues, what dues did Friberg ever pay? Wright gets into Oscar’s face to start the contest. WRIGHT Your skills are lackadaisical, and the spectators reaction to you is torpid. To put it in terms you might best comprehend; you suck and no one cares about you. Your stratum in life is that of bag boy! Oscar has heard enough from Wright and shuts him up with a boot to the stomach. Hard right hands back The God Child into a corner. Wright takes several blows to the back of the head, before surging forward to tackle Oscar to the ground. He only stays atop The Freebird for a second before Oscar succeeds in reversing the position. Oscar rains down punches upon his helpless foe. COLE Oscar putting those street fighting skills to work! LANDON And I ask you both, is that what the OAOAST has been reduced to? A goon from the streets of a kingdom of ill repute? COLE You mean Holland? Wright slips out the ring to avoid further damage to his face. Oscar follows him outside, and soon a full on chase occurs. LANDON This is great strategy by Christian, isn’t it Esther? QUEEN ESTHER Oh my yes! I find all that punching and kicking to be rather boorish. This is much more agreeable. Wright dives back into the ring, awaiting Oscar with a lariat. The Freebird ducks the attack and begins pummeling Wright with swift punches. The attacks move The God Child into the corner, causing referee Earl Hebner to call for a clean break. None is given by the enraged, Oscar. QUEEN ESTHER This is very disturbing! Would someone tell that lout there isn’t any need to hit Squire Christian? Hebner has to physically remove Oscar from his victim. But, Oscar only remains separated for a short while, before charging at Wright. The God Child lifts up his boot and knocks Oscar to the mat. Wright watches Oscar rolls across the ring, and stalks him to bash his chest with stomps. QUEEN ESTHER This is a wonderful sight! I’m so happy I can see it! COLE You just said you didn’t like the kicking and punching! QUEEN ESTHER When Christian does it its “swordsmanship”! Wright scrapes Oscar off the canvas in order to blast him with a parade of European Uppercuts. After finishing the flurry he throws Oscar to the canvas with a simple body slam. LANDON Let’s all get something straight about Christian Wright, not only is he a brilliant speaker, but he’s also a brilliant man of money. He’s diversified my own personal portfolio, as well as investing several of The Kingdom’s dollars in commodities such as corn. COLE That’s what you wanted to get straight?! Wright backs up to the second rope, adjusting his black elbow pad. He then flies off with an elbow drop that lands perfectly upon Oscar. COACH Let me get my peace in on Christian. He’s a former tag team champion, undefeated for over a year, and the current United States champion, that’s what you call amazing. LANDON And Oscar Friberg is none of those things! He’s held no championships in the OAOAST. COLE He’s only been here for two months! QUEEN ESTHER Excuses are the weapons of the weak, Mister Cole. Wright hovers over his weakened foe, taunting him with harsh words. He watches with a terrfying look on his face, as Oscar uses the cables to drag his body upright. Suddenly Oscar lunges out with a punch, but Wright dodges backwards. WRIGHT Who are you to strike at me? Oscar tries again, and misses once more. QUEEN ESTHER What I don’t understand is why they permit a boy of questionable morals such as Oscar to be perform in their company? LANDON Because, they’re idiots. Plain and simple. You want to know how to run an organization, look to me. COLE How’s the SWF doing by the way? LANDON Oscar gets to his feet and blocks a punch from his enemy. He throws a punch himself, and it gets deflected. This puts him off balance, and Wright is able to connect with a lethal superkick! COLE There’s the move that defeated Theodore Moneymaker! Wright hooks the legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Oscar makes a surprising kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Let’s talk about Theodore Moneymaker. LANDON What’s there to talk about, peasant. He may hold the title of “king” but I own the soul and essence of one. A true king would never be defeated by his prince as he was on Angleslam. He’s an imposter and an idiot, and it got proven to the world. Wright repeatedly drives his knee into Oscar’s back. He then measures up his foe, and rams his boot into the side of his head. With bloody lip, Oscar staggers upright. However, he’s put on the ground by a European Uppercut. WRIGHT You shall never measure up to the kingdom! I will do you a kindness and allow you to the leave the ring in peace. COLE He can’t be serious. Oscar looks at the outside, then back at Wright, then back at the outside as blood drips from his lips. Much to Wright’s amazement, Oscar leaps up and dropkicks him in the face! This sends Wright stumbling all the way back to the corner. Oscar rushes forward and performs a fancy backflip off Wright’s chest. Upon landing, he slams a knee into Wright’s face and follows up with a bulldog! COLE Dutch Wonderland! The crucial pinfall is attempted… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! WRIGHT MAKES THE KICKOUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Oscar silently fumes over the failed pinfall. COLE Come on, kid, stay focused. Oscar decides to do just that, and hurls Wright into the corner with an irish whip. He zooms in with lowered shoulder, but Wright slides out the way! This causes Oscar to crash into the ring posts, and then fall out the ring. He clutches his arm and grimaces from the anguish that washes over him. LANDON I think the whole “King” thing with Moneymaker is an attempt to stay relevant. He sees guys like Odin and Badass Jack passing him by on the depth chart and so he asks himself “How can I keep my name in the spotlight? I know I’ll feud with a king!” And there you have it. Wright exits the ring by dropping a clubbing forearm from the ring apron onto Oscar’s back. COLE Oscar isn’t a big guy so there’s always the question of how much his body can take. Wright throws Oscar back into the squared circle, but keeps him draped over the ring apron. WRIGHT You are little more than an errand boy! You are an insignificant dunce! You do not belong here! QUEEN ESTHER Squire Christian is so kind to give this wayward soul advice on life. Wright rolls back into the ring to pin Oscar to the canvas… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Wright hunches over and stares a violent stare into Oscar’s eyes. COACH Look at the look on Christian’s face, ya’ll. The dude is ready to kill! Oscar swings with a punch, but comes up empty. WRIGHT Dullard! Oscar throws out another punch, this time connecting with Wright’s jaw! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Oscar gets to his feet, where he swings for the fences with a wild punch. Wright ducks down to avoid the attack, and comes up with Oscar on his shoulder. He then rolls forward to complete the Fireman’s Carry roll. COLE 30 Pieces of Silver just got paid to Oscar Fribeg. Wright grabs onto Oscar’s legs, and Hebner scores the fall.. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Its only a matter of time for Christian to put this away. LANDON Exactly. The man has beaten top names in this sport. He isn’t going down to a rookie. Wright pulls Oscar up, expecting to be able to hit a high impact assault. But Oscar surprises him with a trio of punches to the face. Wright is staggered as Oscar takes off to the ropes. He comes back to flip Wright over with a hurricanrana! COLE Don’t count t the Dutchman out, yet! Oscar waves Wright up, and when The God Child stands he connects with an enziguri! COLE Enziguri, and a cover! ONE! TWO! Wright throws the shoulder off the canvas. “OSCAR! OSCAR! OSCAR!” the fans begin chanting, as Oscar starts to nod his head. COLE The Freebird is feeling it! As soon as Wright gets to his feet, Oscar strikes with a lung blower! Another cover is made… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! WRIGHT WITH THE SHOULDER UP! Oscar once again bristles over the near three count. With his mind mostly resting on the count, he goes to pull Wright up. But, The God Child yanks his jeans and throws him shoulder first into the corner! Oscar grits his teeth, trying to bear the agony of the attack. COLE That shoulder is the same shoulder that went into the posts earlier! Oscar stumbles away from the corner, unable to defend himself against the rear waistlock Wright applies. A bridged German suplex follows, and Hebner scores the fall… ONE! TWO! Oscar falls out the pin! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” QUEEN ESTHER My animal friends, and I have been discussing this young man, and they just do not understand why he would be given an opportunity to compete for the United States title, when a fine young man such as Remy Bazil has not. COLE Your animal friends said all that? QUEEN ESTHER Oh yes, they’re a very talkative bunch, especially father squirrel. Wright allows Oscar to crawl into the corner, where The Freebird uses the ring posts to painstakingly pull himself to a standing position. Wright charges across the ring, and smashes his elbow into Oscar’s face. The Dutchman falls to the ground, as Wright regards him with disgust. COACH This dude is getting shellacked! LANDON No question there. COLE Did you two miss the part of the match where Oscar had Christian on the back foot? LANDON I was tying my shoelaces. Wright elevates himself to the top rope, as Oscar climbs upright. The God Child sends his body forward with a cross body block, but Oscar slides beneath him! This forces Wright to tuck and roll to avoid a dangerous crash into the mat. LANDON That was a brilliant recovery from Christian! He’s learned from the best. COLE Moneymaker? LANDON What? God no! Moneymaker is the worst and a failure. I’m talking about me. Wright is angered by his miss, and launches at Oscar with an elbow. The Freebird counters by drop toe holding, Wright which slams his face against the bottom turnbuckle. Backing across the ring, Oscar wears a look of intensity. He darts forward, jumping into the air to bring his sneakers down onto the back of Christian’s head. QUEEN ESTHER Oh heavens! He could’ve crushed his brain with those spiked shoes! COLE Those shoes don’t have spikes! QUEEN ESTHER I believe they’re invisible! Oscar mounts Wright in order to blast him with a wave of punches. Wright manages to shove the cruiserweight off him, and scramble upright. Oscar surges ahead and connects with a knee to Wright’s jaw. Wright is dazed, and thusly Oscar is able to hit a tornado DDT! The cover…. ONE! TWO! It’s a long two count for Christian Wright, who makes a timely kickout. Oscar jumps up and shoots the referee a disbelieving glare. As Hebner insists it was only a two count, Oscar pulls Wright up. He ducks under Wright’s arm closest to him, wraps his closest arm around the waist of Wright with a single-arm gutwrench, and then quickly performs a forward flip whilst sweeping the opponent's leg, thereby Wright onto his back! COLE Early Bird Gets the Worm! We could have a new champion. Oscar falls on top of Wright with a lateral press… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! WRIGHT SHOOTS HIS SHOULDER UP! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” LANDON That was clearly only two. But, I should’ve guessed a city nicknamed “Beantown” wouldn’t be able to count correctly. Their heads are full of beans! The Boston crowd gets behind The Freebird, as he pulls Wright upright. Much to everyone’s surprise, Wright lashes out with a European Uppercut that dumps Oscar into the corner. LANDON Earl Hebner should step in and stop this match, Oscar is getting creamed. COLE Did you not just see him nearly get a victory? LANDON Shoelaces. Wright hangs Oscar up in a tree of woe position, so that he may pump stomps into the rookie’s face. Once finished with that tactic, he backs up to the opposite corner. From there he slides in attempting to slash his boots through Oscar’s face. But The Freebird sits up, and Wright endures a testicle first crash into the corner post! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Oscar crawls to the corner Wright just vacated, and drags himself off the mat. Out the corner of his eye, he spots Wright dashing towards him. He deflects The God Child with a raised boot, sending him staggering away. Oscar jumps forward and nails Wright with dropkick! Stuck on the ground, Wright is punished repeatedly by Oscar’s punches. QUEEN ESTHER Look at the faces of our loyal subjects, they sit in abject horror at Squire Christian’s suffering! COLE I think they’re enjoying this, to tell you the truth. Oscar continues to take the fight to Wright by bashing his head into the top turnbuckle. He then throws him shoulder first into the steel posts, causing Wright to holler in anguish. The US champion stumbles out the corner, and is dropped by a tornado DDT! Oscar quickly gets into another pincover… ONE! TWO! Two count only! Wright begs for forgiveness and mercy in the face of an INTENSE Friberg. Oscar will give neither of the two, and stomps towards Wright. Upon reaching The God Child, he’s hurled through the middle ropes! But he lands on his feet, the same feet that dropkick Wright in the face as he leans through the ropes. COACH Dayum! He nearly took ol boy’s head off! Oscar sldies back into the ring to perform the cover…. ONE! TWO! Wright lifts a shoulder to the ceiling! COLE You have to admire the fight in Oscar Friberg! LANDON I’m surprised he hasn’t pulled out a knife and stabbed someone yet. That is his M.O. isn’t it? Wright rolls out the ring, trying to catch a much needed breather. But, he’s followed outside by The Freebird. Oscar grabs onto his thick black hair and chucks him into the guardrail. Seconds after that, he’s throwing him face first into the ring apron. Wright teeters on his feet, before being chucked into the announce table. This is about more than Landon can take, and The King stands up to confront Friberg. LANDON You’re a ridiculous idiot! Do you see that man on the ground? That man is a God Child! He’s the crown jewel of my Kingdom! But, what are you? You’re a criminal! You’re a boot licker! You’re a no good thug! OSCAR LANDON You make me sick! You shouldn’t even be in the OAOAST! You should be rotting in a jail cell in Siberia! Oscar decks Landon with a single punch!”YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”, The Boston crowd explodes with delight. QUEEN ESTHER My king! *faints* Wright grabs Oscar from behind and throws him back into the ring. The God Child then climbs into the ring, where Oscar meets him with a running boot to the stomach. This doubles over Wright, and Oscar attempts a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! WRIGHT REVERSES IT! ONE TWO! OSCAR REVERSES! ONE TWO! WRIGHT REVERSES AND HOOKS THE TIGHTS! ONE! COLE He’s got the tights! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING As “Come With Me” returns to the arena, Buffer makes the result official. BUFFER Your winner and still OAOAST United States Champion…CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Wright bolts out the ring, before any revenge can be enacted upon him. Oscar shoots up and directs a threatening and evil glare towards Christian. He’s given a chance to act on his violent wishes when THEODORE MONEYMAKER throws Wright back into the ring! COACH Mister Moneymaker! Don’t feed Wright to The Bird! Moneymaker watches with glee and thrilled delight as Oscar wastes no time in executing a Birdcall(CK3) on Wright. The God Child is left lying on the canvas, while his former friend has a great laugh over his misfortune. COLE Both Christian and Landon have been laid out by The Freebird! The war between The Kingdom and The Enterprise continues, but what part does Oscar Friberg play?FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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