Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We cold open in the hustling and bustling interview lounge where....MAGGIE NERDLY is standing withJO-JO WHOA MAGGIE What’s up, ya’ll, Maggie Nerdly, “It” Girl on the scene chilling in the world interview lounge with the newest edition to the OAOAST roster Jo-Jo Whoa. WHOA Yo~! MAGGIE Jo-Jo, in just a few short secs you’ll be heading out to the ring to face The Result Pierce Duncan. Got any butterflies in your stomach? WHOA What I’ve got in my stomach, Maggie, is a beef burrito, some potato chips, and a few cookies! But butterflys? Me? Forget about it, babe! Check it, I’ve fought Piercey D before in OAOVW. I mopped the floor with him, and had him crying to go home to suckle his mama’s teet every time. Piercey D ain’t no thang to me! MAGGIE But, it is your first match on HeldDOWN~! WHOA You know what that means? It means I’ve got even more motivation to once again school The Result in the fine art of professional wrestling. I’ve got to show the people that The One Man Show Jo-Jo Whoa is like nothing they’ve ever seen before. Check the weather report, Maggie, because I’m about to take this company by storm. Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaa!-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D We cut straight to Sofa Central, where Double awaits in their Angleslam football jerseys. COLE Welcome, folks, to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Michael Cole, joined with Da Coach here in Pittsburgh!Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me COLE Its an amazing show planned tonight with an Anglemania rematch between Reject and Baron Windels, Big Papa Thrust against Kareem, and D*LUX in action! COACH But nothing compares to Piercey D! The turntables are out in full force as is Pierce Duncan, who mixes the killer track while fistpumping the night away. Behind him, clad in black jeans and a black top is the scowling James Riggs. With Pierce far more upbeat than Riggs, the two men march to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty five minutes! Now making his way to the ring, weighing two hundred twenty three pounds, he is accompanied by JAMES RIGGS…..THE RESULT PIERCE DUUUNNNCAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN! COACH There’s your future, Mikey Cole. Those two dudes are going to have their way with you at Angleslam. I’m looking forward to it. COLE They’ve got to get past Timmy and Biffman to get to me. Pierce enters the ring with a wide and thrilled smile, acting as though the entire crowd is on his side. Trust me, they aren’t. “Whoa Is Me I’m so Whoa See me decked out from my head to my toe Whoa is me I’m so Whoa Everywhere I go, I’m a one man show!” As sparkling and spotless red Porsche is driven to the side of the entrance stage as Down With Webster-Whoa is me plays. COACH Nice ride! From the driver’s side door emerges Jo-Jo Whoa, attired in black tights with glittering orange “W”’s on the back. The youngster climbs on top of the hood, and strikes an arrogant pose as the crowd marvels at his stunning look. BUFFER And the opponent, making his HeldDOWN debut, he hails from Montreal, Quebec, and weighs in at one hundred eighty seven pounds, he is JO-JO WHOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COACH I’ve been looking forward to this match all week. This kid is supposed to be a blue chip prospect, and I can’t wait to see what he’s got. COLE The hype around Jo-Jo Whoa is amazing, but I’ve seen him in action in OAOVW and he is the real deal. OAOVW has produced a lot of great talent lately, Oscar Friberg, Remy Bazil, Pierce Duncan, Odin, and he just might be the best. Climbing to the top rope, Whoa crosses his arms with his index and middle finger pointed up, and smiles to the Pittsburgh audience. DING DING DING PIERCE What up, Jo-bro, you want a piece of me? You want some of The Result. Well you ain’t getting none of the result. I’m outta here. Pierce turns around to leave, but then suddenly lashes out and nails Whoa with a punch. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE That sneaky jerk! Pierce throws another punch at Whoa, only to see his fellow rookie duck the attack. Frustrated, Pierce decides to go for a lockup on Whoa. Much to his surprise, the smaller man captures him inside a hammerlock. That hold only lasts for a few seconds before Jo-Jo whips Piercey D into the ropes. The Result returns to fire off a lariat. Yet, its ducked by Whoa who wraps Piercey into a school boy… ONE! TWO! Kickout! COACH Mikey, how’s it feel to know that you’re going to be spending Sunday night in a hospital bed? COLE I have faith that Biffman and Tim Cash will pull out a victory. Piercey rolls to his feet and yells at Jo-Jo for messing up his overly gelled hair. Jo-Jo responds by rubbing his hands through his own well styled hair. This infuriates Pierce and he dashes at Whoa. The Montreal native lowers his body, and upends Piercey D over the ropes. The Result lands on the ring apron, but nearly falls off, only saved by timely intervention from J.Riggs. Jo-Jo throws out a punch at Pierce, only to have it blocked by The Result. Piercey D then snaps Jo-Jo’s neck off the top rope. He slides back into pin his agonized foe… ONE! TWO! No! COLE Let’s talk about this Jo-Jo Whoa. Young kid from Montreal, who’s considered a can’t miss prospect. We haven’t had someone with his hype since Spencer Reiger. COACH Well, if he can achieve half of what Spencer’s done in four years he’ll have had a pretty successful career. Pierce slaps in a reverse chinlock, grinding the match to a halt. COACH This is smart by Piercey D, he’s using his strength to wear down the faster man. COLE That’s one of the few times you’ll ever call something Pierce does “smart” COACH You better watch your, tongue, b. You ain’t safe in these streets. Whoa fights to his feet, supported by cheers from the Pittsburgh audience. He slams elbow after elbow into Pierce’s ripped stomach, forcing him to release the hold. Pierce stays on the attack, however, by throwing Whoa towards the corner. The youngster leaps onto the top rope and moonsaults over a charging Pierce. After smacking into the posts, The Result staggers backwards into an inverted DDT! The cover is made… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Pierce crawls to the corner where he uses the ropes to pull himself upright. Whoa stays on him, smacking him in the chest with hard knife edge chops. Pierce stags to sag to the ground. But before he can fall over, Whoa shoots him into the opposite corner. The newest edition to the HeldDOWN roster connects with an elbow to the face that causes Pierce to stumble towards the center of the ring. With the corner now vacated, Whoa takes his turn to climb up to the second rope. He signals to the crowd before coming off with a bulldog that drives Pierce’s head into the canvas! A pinfall is attempted… ONE! TWO! Pierce gets the shoulder off the mat! COACH You can’t tell me, you ain’t worried that Biffman and Cash are gonna lose the match at Angleslam. COLE Damn right, I’m worried! But, I also have faith in my two friends. Jo-Jo points to the corner, earning a large cheer from the crowd, who are always eager to see a high flying stunt. With one graceful leap, he elevates him to the top turnbuckle. But, he wastes too much time in playing to the crowd, and Piercey D is able to shove him off. Whoa lands on the steel guardrail, right in front of Riggs. While, Pierce distracts the official with talks of haircare product, Riggs terrorizes Whoa with stomps. COACH That’s gonna be a problem for you, Cole. These two boys ain’t afraid to do whatever it takes to win. Cash and Biffman ain’t gonna cheat. All it takes is a hooked pair of tights, or a foot on the ropes and you can lose a match and then you gonna lose your blood, b. Riggs chucks Whoa back into the ring to allow The Result to make the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! Piercey D takes off to the ropes, while Whoa slowly gets to his feet. Upon coming back, Pierce leaps into the air with a vertical leg drop! COACH Anyone up for a Duncan Donut! Pierce horrifies pretty much everyone in attendance by taking a page out his sister’s playbook with a round of booty shaking. COACH Hell yeah! COLE COACH I fucks with niggas to! COLE Pierce mercifully ends his rump bumping to moonsault at Jo-Jo. But the Montreal native slides out the way! With Pierce writhing in agony, Whoa runs the ropes to come back with a 360 shooting star press! COLE Did you see that?! Pierce is chucked into the corner, and then hit with a bevy of knife edge chops. Once those end, Whoa attempts to whip Pierce into the corner. But Pierce reverses it, pulling in Whoa for a short arm knee strike. He then presses Whoa overhead, then drops him back face first. COACH A gorilla presslsam from The Billabong Gorilla! !~ Don’t look now, but Pierce breaks out a fistpump~! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Pierce waits for Whoa to get his feet. When he comes upright, The Result launches a lariat. But Jo-Jo takes hold of his arm and connects with a single arm DDT! As the crowd cheers, Whoa hooks the leg for a fall… ONE! TWO! NO! COACH Mikey, man, you are just doomed come Angleslam. I wonder who they’ll have replace you. I hope its not Brannigan, his breath stinks funny. Whoa pulls Pierce up, and then begins hammering him with rapid fire elbows. The Result eventually shrugs off the blows, ducking behind Whoa to lift him into a back suplex set up. The youngster tries to slip out, but Piercey D throws him down with a face buster! COACH CHA-CHING! The cover is made…. ONE! TWO! The crowd cheer as Jo-Jo makes the kickout! PIERCE (to the referee) Are you for real, bro?! COLE Somehow Jo-Jo Whoa able to kickout of the Cha-Ching face buster. Both these rookies are pulling out all the stops at this point. Pierce and Jo-Jo begins trading shots, each taking his turn at trying to knock the other’s head clear off. Being the bigger of the two, Pierce naturally wins the slug fest by dropping his foe with a straight right. Pierce then climbs to the middle turnbuckle. From there, he flies off to drive his leg into his foe’s neck! A cover is then made…. ONE! TWO! No! PIERCE AWW COME ON! Riggs urges his partner to stay focused, as he smacks the mat in pure anger. Heeding, Riggs advice, Pierce pulls Whoa off the mat. He hooks onto his neck, and then swings him around for the Lightening Spiral! COACH No way the kid is kicking out of that. Jo-Jo is pinned to the canvas by The Result… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierce seethes with a fury all his own, unable to believe that move could not grant him a victory. Acting out of sheer rage, he chucks Whoa through the ropes. Luckily for the youngster he lands on the ring apron. Pierce angrily strides over to him, but is fought back by a hard elbow. Whoa jumps onto the ropes, a prelude to him springboarding off with a 720 DDT! COLE Oh wow! Pierce rolls out the ring, with head ringing from the deadly DDT. Whoa tracks him with his eyes, as he makes his way to the top turnbuckle. The One Man Show sails off with an incredible sky twister press, landing right on Piercey D! “THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME!” COLE The OAOAST Galaxy is definitely approving of Jo-Jo Whoa! Jo-Jo dumps Pierce back into the ring, so that he may make the cover… ONE! TWO! A close two count as Piercey D kicksout! Not worrying about the failed count, Whoa makes another jump to the top rope. As the crowd roots him on, he leaps off with a body splash! But Pierce gets his knees up! Before, Whoa can roll off, Pierce drags him into an inside cradle… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NO ONLY A TWO! COACH See how sneaky The Result is? That’s what your boys gotta deal with at Angleslam! Piercey D decides that was actually a three count and viciously berates the referee for failing to see that. With the ref distracted by Pierce’s raving, Riggs slips into the ring. A wild look appears on his face, as he begins motioning for Whoa to stand up. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses, knowing a spear is forthcoming. COACH Here it comes, Mikey! Here comes the Spear! Riggs starts to charge across the ring, but he’s brought down by Michael Cole! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” While Cole runs away from a furious Riggs, Piercey D gets nailed with a Cradle DDT! COACH That’s called Thanks For The Memories. I think my dude Piercey D is out like a light! Piercey D’s leg is hooked for the pivotal pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…JO-JO WHOA! Chaos rather than celebration ensues, as Riggs corners Michael Cole at the time keeper’s table. COACH Mikey, you messed up big time, b!“I’VE GOT THE POWER!” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans erupt with cheers as Biffman, and Tim Cash dart down the ring ramp. COACH Not these two! Wanting nothing to do with these two on one odds, Riggs leaps over the guardrail to make a speedy escape. Biffman and Cash forgoe chasing him to attend to a frightened and shell shocked Cole. COACH It’s gonna be J.Riggs and Piercey D fighting for the right to beat Cole’s ass at Angleslam against those two losers Biffman and Tim Cash!TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT ANGLEMANIA REMATCHREJECT VS BARON WINDELSTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 In the catering area, Alix Maria Spezia is locked in deep thought. With a troubled look on her face and her hand pressed to her worried forehead, Alix faces a troublesome choice. A tough dilemma which is causing her to undertake much soul searching. CATERING LADY Alix sweetie, you're holding up the line. ALIX But... I can't decide! Pink with sprinkles, or chocolate frosting! And I only have this many pennies. WHY GOD? WHY MUST YOU MAKE THIS ALL SO HARD? As Alix tugs her hair in great torment, and the line of people behind her grumble even more, help is at hand as Maya barges to the front of the queue. MAYA Don't worry, Alix. They're on me. ALIX Really!? Aww, gee, thanks mister, you won't regret it! Maya saves the day by handing over some money for both the donuts, much to Alix's delight. Such delight that she can barely stand still, hopping around like an excited schoolboy as she watches the two donuts go into a bag and be handed over to Maya. ALIX Wow! That's the nicest thing anyone's done for me since Jessica Biel promised not to press charges against me if I promised to wipe my camera! MAYA Don't mention it. Anything for my favourite step-lesbian relationship partner. ALIX Wait, I'm your favourite step-lesbian relationship partner? Wow! This day keeps getting better and better! MAYA Yup. It sure does. You know what'd be really cool though. If after you finished those donuts, you and me went to have dinner somewhere. Maybe go shopping too. To celebrate Mom starting to feel better. I just got paid for doing that Gatorade commercial, so I've got plenty of money. What do you think? ALIX Sure! We'll go round up Jade and tear it up! Clearly not down with this, Maya tries to hide her disdain. MAYA Uhh, I don't think Jade would wanna come. ALIX Why not? MAYA Well, she's... uhm... got other plans. She heard Shayne and Tyler were wrestling someone who had grilled cheese and she went to go investigate. ALIX Okay, I didn't get that joke. But, that's okay! If you say Jade is busy, I can't think of any reason not to believe you. Waaaaaiiit a minute. Krista told me something about you the other day, that I was supposed to remember, incase you tried talking to me. Something about... not letting you use your brain to confuse me? Because, you might try and do something before Sunday tha... MAYA WHOA! IS THAT MICHELLE OBAMA? ALIX WHERE!? Alix looks around expectantly, but sees nothing. MAYA Oh, wait. Nevermind. It was just Thunderkid. Easy mistake to make. So, what was I saying? ALIX Uhhmmm... I can't remember. MAYA Probably wasn't important then. So, shall we go shopping then? I really need to get rid of some of this money before the sell by date runs out. ALIX Oh no! We'd better go quick then. MAYA Yeah. I'll probably have to buy you something as well though. If that's okay. ALIX If you have to get rid of the money fast, then sure. MAYA Awesome. Let's go, before... JADE HEY! Unable to usher Alix off fast enough, Maya is caught red handed and curses to herself as Jade, seeing this little conversation between Alix and Maya, rushes over. ALIX Oh, hey Jade! Did you find the grilled cheese? JADE What? Maya snickers to herself, causing Jade to growl. JADE What are you up to? ALIX We're just about to go shopping. Maya's got to spend all of her money before it goes off, so she's going to HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Money doesn't have a sell by date! You tried to trick me! MAYA You caught me. You know, you're really getting smarter. ALIX Thanks! So, shall we take a cab, or... JADE ALIX! She's trying to bribe you! Jade turns her attentions to Maya, the two sisters giving each other a foul look. JADE I can't believe you'd stoop so low. MAYA I can't believe you'd stoop so fat. JADE That doesn't even make any sense! You know what though, I'm not surprised. Clearly you're so scared that you're going to lose on Sunday, you're having to pay off the referee. How sad. MAYA The only people scared of you are guys who have a fear of being accidentally crushed in their sleep. Oh, and tailors. Photographers. The people who have to airbrush your photographs. But not me. The only thing I'm scared of is how much money Mom is going to have to throw at you to stop you feeling miserable after I embarrass you on Sunday and take your little belt. That and being crushed. By you. During our match. JADE You know what, you are so unoriginal. MAYA Wrong! I'm so original, it ain't even funny. JADE Nuh uh. You're just like Mom, trying to break people down by insulting them. But you don't have the flair or the vocabulary to pull it off. MAYA You know what, you're right. I could never insult you the way Mom does. JADE That's ri... wait, what? MAYA Alix, when I beat Jade and she's so embarrassed she can't bear to be around the rest of the family, so she moves back to Canada or wherever it is she came from, I'm probably going to get her room. But I'll let you have it. And we can split her stuff fifty fifty. The clothes won't fit me anyway. ALIX Me neither. Jade looks at Alix, offended. ALIX I... I'm guessing. JADE Alix, when I beat Maya, Tyler and Shayne have promised to throw me a big victory party and you're invited. MAYA Well that's funny, because Tyler and Shayne also promised to throw me a victory party when I win. Of course, I just laughed at them, because my fourteenth birthday party I organised myself was wilder than any party they've even been to in their lives. But, the gesture was there. Getting angry, Jade suddenly loses her composure. JADE If I win, I'll buy you a puppy! ALIX MAYA No fair! That's bribery! JADE Why dontcha cry about it? Maya grrs to herself, then drops all sense of tact as well. MAYA I'll buy you a pony! ALIX :o JADE You can't buy her a pony! MAYA Sure I can. I make more money than you do. JADE There's nowhere to keep it! MAYA It can have your room. Nobody would notice the difference. If anything, it'd be cheaper to feed. JADE Fine, I'll buy two puppies... and a kitten! MAYA I'll buy a unicorn! ALIX :o JADE Unicorns don't even exist! MAYA By the time she figures that out, I'll already have moulded your belt into something that'll fit my waist size. Two unicorns! JADE A talking puppy! MAYA What!? JADE If you can make stuff up, so can I! As the sisters bicker back and forth, Alix snaps out of her dream world of unicorns and talking puppies and suddenly realises what's going on. ALIX No! I promised Krista that I wouldn't be tricked and when I make a promise to your mother, I sometimes keep them. And this is one of those times! I'm sorry but you'll have to take the talking puppy back. Alix cannot be bought! MAYA I'm so proud of you, Alix. ALIX Thank you! Good luck on Sunday. JADE HEY! ALIX GAAAH! STOP MANIPULATING WITH MY MIND YOU DIRTY SORCERERS!! Unable to take any more, Alix runs off, trying to hold her brain inside of her skull. Jade and Maya watch her run off, before turning back on each other. MAYA Now look what you did! JADE Me!? You started it! Jade and Maya suddenly square up. MAYA See you Sunday. JADE Oh yeah... well... not if I see you first! MAYA Wow. I'm gonna let you dwell on that one for a few days. Hopefully you'll just forfeit out of embarrassment. Save me a lot of effort. And heavy lifting. Maya walks off, leaving Jade to fume to herself. COACH Its heated between these two! COLE And it all boils over at Angleslam. For now Josh Matthews is with Melissa Nerdly. Josh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Located backstage in front of the Women’s locker room is Josh Matthews. He is stood by with…MELISSA NERDLY JOSH Melissa, thanks for joining me. As I understand it, you have a “big” announcement to make. MELISSA Big? Is that what you done said? Big? Big is of considerable size or extent. JOSH Good to know you’ve been reading your dictionary! MELISSA What I’m talking about is HUGE! JOSH Well, I think we’re all curious to know, what is it? MELISSA What it is is what it ain’t. It ain’t small, it ain’t pedestrian, it ain’t boring, and it sure as heck ain’t lame! JOSH But what is it? MELISSA Its my long awaited singing debut! JOSH Long awaited? By who? MELISSA By just about darn everybody! Wherever I take a step, there’s someone complimenting me on my lovely voice. JOSH Really? MELISSA Really! And that somebody always asks me when am I gonna get into singing? And I always say I’ll get into it when I get into it. Well, Josh, I am into it in a HUGE way! JOSH What type of music are you going to perform? MELISSA Country! JOSH Country? MELISSA Darn it, I’m gonna be the biggest country star this darn planet has ever seen! Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, Randy Travis, there all gonna be looking at me and thinking “Uh, time to retire, we’ll never out do this Melissa Nerdly girl!” JOSH ….So you’re going to be a country star? MELISSA Your ears don’t fail ya, kiddo! I’m gonna light up the whole music industry! I’ll be converting hip-hop homies to country rednecks, I’ll be that good. JOSH When is your singing debut? MELISSA This Sunday at Angleslam! How much are ya lookin’ forward to it, this much or THIS much? JOSH Uh....maybe we should take a commercial break. I think that would be wise!COMING UP NEXTD*LUX VS HICKS OVER DICKSNEXT!TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT ANGLEMANIA REMATCHREJECT VS BARON WINDELSTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 "Devil Without A Cause" by Kid Rock hits and we're ready for action, as the hicks of the OAOAST make their way to the ring. Smirking to the camera, Remy Bazil shuffles his hand of playing cards with a knowing look. As he strolls confidently to the ring, behind him waddles Sloppy Joe, happily feasting on a sandwich. So entranced with this sandwich, he barely notices the fact he's in an arena surrounded by fans. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing team number one. At a total combined weight of four hundred and ninety seven pounds... the team of SSLLLOOOPPYYY JJOOOEEEE MMMAAAAAANNWWWWIIIICCHHHHHHH and RRREEEEMMMMMYYYYYYY BBAAAZZZZZZIIIIILLLLLL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Two members of the crew 'affectionately' known as Hicks Over Dicks. COACH That's funny because it's kinda like Chicks Over Dicks and it rhymes. COLE That's the joke Coach, yes, well done. Have a cookie. Remy slides into the ring and flicks a card at Buffer to amuse himself. Meanwhile, Joe waddles around the ring and heads towards the announce table to offer a bite to Double C. COLE Ugh, are you kidding me? What is that!? SLOPPY JOE Grilled cheese? It's good. COLE Get away from me! Shrugging his shoulders, Sloppy Joe figures it's all the more for him and enters the ring. COACH Well that was rude, he was offering to share. COLE His arm was covered in grease!WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. "Solar Midnite" by Lupe Fiasco fires out and a loud, shrill cheer goes up for the ever popular heartthrobs, D*LUX. Shayne and Tyler launch out and fire up the crowd in matching purple denim. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! Total combined weight, three hundred and seventy nine pounds... they are the reigning OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... together, they are D*LLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Tag Team Champions make their way down tagging hands, as Joe continues to munch away and Remy absent-mindedly shuffles his cards. COLE D*LUX have energised this crowd here in Pittsburgh, as only they can! COACH Yeah, that's all well and good Cole. But, check it out, Da Coach has got the scoop! Word going round is, all isn't as it seems between the Tag Team Champions. And I've got it on good authority that Shayne and Tyler were overheard arguing, in the locker room, earlier tonight, before this match! COLE So you're saying there's dissention in the ranks? COACH That's exactly what I'm saying! Trust me, there's trouble brewing. COLE Well, I'll believe it when I see it. No offense. *DINGDINGDING* Tyler agrees to start out, up against Remy. After getting the crowd clapping along, Tyler prepares to lock up. Both men are tentative in locking fingers, until Remy suddenly catches Tyler with a quick go behind. Bazil trips Tyler up and backs off smirking at his handiwork. COLE Titles not on the line tonight, but a win would obviously mean a lot to Bazil and Sloppy Joe's chances of getting a shot at the gold. Composing himself, Tyler locks up with Remy again. After a struggle, Remy ends up backing Tyler against the ropes and the referee calls for a break. Bazil breaks, but then SLAPS Tyler in the face insultingly! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Remy looks pleased with himself, but that soon changes as Tyler unloads with some right hands! COLE That may not have been so smart from Remy Bazil! After a flurry of punches daze his opponent, Tyler whips Remy to the ropes and ducks his head, allowing Remy to put on the brakes and deliver a kick. Remy then goes for a clothesline. But Tyler ducks, hitting the ropes and hitting Remy right in the jaw with a Yakuza kick! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And all the little girlies scream. If only they knew. Tyler picks Remy back up and tags in Shayne. Together, D*LUX whip the shady Southerner to the ropes and take him over with a double hiptoss. Remy sits up and D*LUX sandwich him with a low double dropkick! COLE D*LUX look on the same page to me. Some classic tag team work from the champions. COACH Give it time. Shayne makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Backing Remy into a neutral corner, Shayne delivers a couple of forearms and then tries an irish whip. Bazil reverses, sending Shayne across the ring. But an attempted charge from Remy guides him right into a pair of raised boots from Shayne. Up to the middle rope, Shayne leaps high in the air, aiming for Remy's back with a double stomp. Remy dodges out of the way, Shayne landing and rolling through to his feet. Remy hits a quick boot, then goes for a DDT. But Shayne twists out and catches Remy in the side of the head with a jumping enziguri! COLE D*LUX both lightning fast. Too quick even for the slippery Remy. As Remy falls back into the turnbuckles, Shayne gets a run up and flies at Remy with an attack in the corner. A quick tag is made to Tyler and Remy staggers out, into a springboard dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Tyler calls Shayne back in and they double up Bazil, then both run over and clatter Sloppy Joe, causing him to drop his sandwich. COACH Oh that's uncalled for! COLE The man shouldn't be eating during a match. Turning their attentions back to Bazil, D*LUX whip him to the ropes. Tyler hits an inverted atomic drop, holding Remy in place for a Leg Lariat by Shayne! COLE A little twist on a classic, Opposites Attract! Shayne leaves, allowing the ref to count Tyler's jacknife cover... 1... 2... No! COLE I tell you what, there's no sign of dissention from what I'm seeing out of D*LUX. Who's your source on this story, exactly? COACH Well, that'd be telling, wouldn't it. Another tag is made by the champions. Shayne comes back in and runs the ropes, floating up and over Remy's pre-emptive duck with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Rolling back to his feet, Shayne runs at Remy again and throws a clothesline. Remy ducks though and hooks Shayne down with one of his own from behind instead! Taking his chance, Remy immediately makes a much needed tag to Sloppy Joe. COLE Oh no. He's not going to... Stepping into the ring, Joe has retrieved his grilled cheese sandwich from the ground. And as a last preparation for battle, he stuffs what's left of it in his mouth. COLE I think I'm going to be sick. Joe munches away on the grilled cheese as he stomps away on Shayne. He then drops down and makes a cover. Which is doubly bad for Shayne, as Joe is a messy eater and he has to contend with grilled cheese spilling out of Joe's mouth and into his face while being pinned. COLEUrrgghh! 1... 2... No! Shayne tries to get away from Joe, for many reasons. He retreats into a corner, trying to fend him off with kicks to the stomach. Sloppy Joe fends them off and squashes Shayne back against the turnbuckles. Grabbing the ropes, he keeps Shayne penned in, as he rams himself backwards! And a second time! COACH Joe using his weight to his advantage right now. Sloppy Joe whips Shayne to the opposite corner. He tries to follow him in, but Shayne has time to come off the second rope with a missile dropkick to meet Joe! "YYYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!" The dropkick sends Joe stumbling backwards. Shayne attacks with some quick forearms, then turns and hits the ropes. But he runs right back into Sloppy Joe, who delivers a Bossman side slam!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, he just SQUASHED him! 1... 2... NO! Not trusting his partner's cardio, Remy calls for the tag. A winded Shayne tries his best to sit back up, but when he does, Remy is waiting with a running boot to the face! Cover by Bazil... 1... 2... NO! "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Tyler leads the chants, trying to urge his partner on. COLE Tyler solidly behind his tag team partner. Wouldn't you agree, Coach? COACH Tyler being behind Shayne ain't the problem. That's all I'm saying. Waiting for Shayne to get back up, Bazil strikes with a boot. Off the ropes, he then strikes with a another boot, this time to the side of the head! Shayne looks dazed and the referee checks on him, as Remy strolls around the ring. COLE This would be quite the upset, if Bazil and Sloppy Joe could pull a victory off against the Tag Team Champions. Arguably the biggest win of their careers. Remy leads Shayne back up and sends him to the ropes. Scooping him up with a double leg pickup, Remy swings Shayne around, letting him drop to the mat face first. Shayne ends up on his knees, as Bazil comes off the ropes with yet another boot aimed at the skull. This is one attempt too many however and Shayne is able to dodge the boot, then roll Remy up with a schoolboy! 1... 2... NO! Quickly up, Remy manages to cut Shayne off with a kick. Spinning him around, Remy then elevates Shayne up, into a Gory Special. COLE Nice from Remy, submission predicament for Shayne. As Remy stretches Showtime out, Tyler again rallies the fans behind his partner. They respond with encouraging claps. And it seems to work. Shayne refuses to give in and starts to try and fight out. After a little struggle he manages to loosen up his arms and catches Remy in the side of the head with an elbow. And another. Pulling his arms free, Shayne then adjusts and turns the move into a Code Red, dumping Remy on the back of his head!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Motion Blur from Shayne! And no wasting time over a cover, he just wants that tag! Both men crawl to their corners, worse for wear. Remy gets to Joe first and makes the tag. But Joe is too slow to catch Shayne and cannot prevent the tag to Tyler! COLE Here we go! Tyler jumps in and immediately starts to pepper Sloppy Joe with fast punches, up and down, to the head and to the gut. The speed of the attack is too much for Joe to do anything about. Tyler hits the ropes and Joe tries a back elbow. But Tyler ducks underneath and comes back with a running dropkick, knocking Sloppy Joe down! "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Remy tries to come back in, but Tyler gets the jump on him. And he backs Bazil into the corner to unleash another Top Ten Hit. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" Trying to help out, Sloppy Joe only makes matters worse, as his charge is avoided by Tyler and instead he runs his massive frame right into Bazil in the corner! Much to Remy's pain, but even more-so to his disgust. COLE Tyler is giving Sloppy Joe the runaround. COACH Well, Joe's not really used to running. COLE You don't say. As Remy sinks into the corner, Sloppy Joe turns around and gets clipped with a dropkick to the knee. He falls to one knee, setting up another dropkick sandwich from D*LUX! COLE That's one sandwich Sloppy Joe won't enjoy the taste of. Joe rolls outside, leaving Remy in with the Champions. Pulling himself out of the corner, he walks into a pickup from Tyler. And D*LUX deliver the Rock Your Body! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Undettered, D*LUX signal for the end. COLE Calling for the D*LUX Capacitor! Tyler gets Remy in the wheelbarrow and goes to lift him, as Shayne comes off the ropes. But there's too much on the lift and Remy manages to escape the grasp of Tyler. Landing on his feet, Remy quickly runs Tyler backwards, causing him and Shayne to hit heads! COLE OOH! COACH See! What did I tell you! COLE What? That wasn't dissention. That wasn't even really a miscue, Bazil shoved them together! While Shayne goes down, Tyler stumbles forward and is caught with a sweeping one armed swinging neckbreaker by Bazil! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Wow, Bazil almost stole one right there! But just a two says the referee. Stalking Tyler, Remy gets a smirk back on his face as he lies in wait with something clearly in mind. Tyler slowly gets back up, unaware of what's waiting for him as Remy lurks behind him. As Tyler gets to his feet, Remy then pounces, grabbing Tyler in a full nelson... ...but Tyler breaks free! He catches Remy with a couple of back elbows to the side of the head, then catches Remy on his shoulders as he tries to make a sudden move! COLE Uh oh! Bazil got caught! Tyler spins Remy around in a circle... and then drops him with the IDOLISER!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE BAM! Out of nowhere, Tyler dishes out the TKO to Remy Bazil! Tyler hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And that'll do it! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... D*LLLLLUUUUUUXXXXXXX!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd show their love for the Tag Team Champions, but Shayne doesn't seem to be in much of a mood to celebrate. Nursing a sore head, Shayne shrugs off Tyler's attempt to wrap an arm around his shoulder and gives him an accusing look. Tyler seems confused and shrugs his shoulders, not sure what he's done wrong. Shayne shakes his head, frustrated if not angry. COACH Never doubt the sources, Cole! The sources are solid. COLE Well, Shayne certainly a little annoyed at being clattered by his own partner. But, it wasn't Tyler's fault and I think Shayne realises that... COACH Yeah, but it's simmering Cole. Admit it. COLE There's definitely a... well, a little frustration. But let's not blow things out of proportion, D*LUX won the match. Despite his clear annoyance, Shayne has his hand raised in victory along with Tyler and they're handed the Tag Team Title belts. Tyler offers his hand and Shayne patches things up with him, not exactly doing cartwheels in joy but happy enough to put aside the one miscue. COLE There we go! D*LUX, celebrating a hard fought win here tonight on HeldDOWN. COACH The first cracks in the foundations, Cole. Mark my words. There's more to this than meets the eye. COLE Folks, I understand there's a situation developing backstage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage in the hallways people are steering clear of an.. Angry REJECT and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. REJECT This is bullshit! ABUDLLAH Yes, my child! Speak truth to power! Reject grabs the camera, his hard eyes staring into it. REJECT Oh, I will for sure speak the truth! Alfdogg, you really know how to screw me don’t you? You’ve mastered the art! You let the other idiots in the Elimination Chamber match have the night off but then you throw me in the ring with that inbred sack of dog shit, Windels? And you base that off of what, off of it being what the fans want to see? Who cares what these Pittsburgh morons want to see anyway? I want to see Maggie and Morgan make out, but I’m not gonna get it, so why should they get what they want? Somebody answer that question ABDULLAH Tell it, brother Reject! Tell it! REJECT I shouldn’t have to fight Windels tonight. In fact, I shouldn’t even have to get in the ring unless I want to get in the ring. I’ve been in this company since before there was a HeldDOWN~! My name is the name of a legend. I deserve better than this! But, I guess I’m stuck fighting Huckleberry Finn one more time. Baron, I owe you a beating from what you did to me at Anglemania. I don’t know if I can beat you so bad that you won’t be able to make it to the Elimination Chamber, but I can beat you so bad you’ll think twice before stepping out your pod. COLE Reject, Baron, TONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 On the road again. Just can’t wait to get on the road again. Willie Nelson’s timeless classic serves as the soundtrack to another great American road trip featuring the All-American Boys and their illegal amigo Mariachi. Their bus (dubbed the All-American Express) stops and the guys step out in front of GRACELAND. FREEDOM July 4, 1776. LIBERTY November 4, 1980. LIBERTY Just a few important dates in American history. But one of the biggest happened 34 years ago on August 16, 1977. FREEDOM A great many men have given their lives, some for our sins and others in the name of freedom. LIBERTY Those men died heroes, like the man whose grave we visit. ELVIS~! FREEDOM You gotta admire a man who'd travel out of the blue just to meet his president. Mariachi suddenly jumps into view dressed like the King and performs a seductive dance number, to the horror of the All-American Boys. Once the dancing stops they receive another shock, a round of applause for Mariachi. FREEDOM & LIBERTY MARIACHI (impersonates Elvis) Gracias. Mucho gracias. Mariachi goes to give his scarf to a hunk nearby but stops, thinks for a second and then drapes it around the neck of a 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL. LIBERTY (to Mariachi) Right sex, just a little too young. We want to turn you into hombre, not an American Roman Polanski. FREEDOM What is it with kings in Memphis and underage girls? *shakes head* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 plays as blue smoke falls upon the entry way. The audience spews forth hatred at the sight of…ODIN, who is indeed wearing regular clothing, while also holding his massive hammer. Behind him several hooded priests carry a long silver coffin. COLE I don’t have Odin on my format, Coach. COACH You lost for even reading the format in the first place. They gonna pay us either way. Odin steps over the ropes to bring himself into the ring. He’s passed a microphone, but can’t speak due to the shouts of the Pittsburgh crowd. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” ODIN I am NOT in the mood for your insults! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” ODIN Do I suck? Is that why I stand six feet six inches of indomitable strength or is that why I am an immovable mass of solid rock? Or better yet is that why I can do this? BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! COACH Someone tell these fools not to piss DA BASED GAWD ~! off! ODIN I suck do I? I will no longer dignify your foolish rattle with words! I have come out here to direct my wrath upon two mortals I hate very much, Badass Jack, and Alexander The Brutal. As you all are aware, I will engage these two in combat at the pay per view event titled Angleslam. COLE That’s this Sunday. ODIN I ask myself do I look forward to the contest? And the answer is a stern no. COACH No? ODIN I am a god, a being placed above all men, all creatures. My time is more than valuable, and more than precious. My time is all that matters. I have found it wasted on these two mortals for the past three months, and I have grown incredibly tired of it. To fight a delinquent like Jack and a simpleton like Alexander is work that is beneath a god! I am better than this! My time and talents should be solely devoted to acquiring the most precious possession of them all, the OAOAST World Title. Now there, there is a pursuit worth my energies! That is something that has earned my attention. I above all others, should be contending for the OAOAST World Title! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ODIN Instead, I have found myself muddled in a feud with Jack and Alexander. These insignificant fools honestly believe that although they’ll stand face to face with a God, that they actually have a hope of victory. I find this laughable at best, pitiful at worst. What these men are doing is akin to suicide. By stepping in the ring with me, they drive a dagger into their own heart. I will-Cause I'm a badass And you don't want to clash Cause your mouth's writing checks that your face can't cash Cause I'm a badass And this war is your last You just crossed my path and I'll drop you fast COLE Business is about to pick up, as they say! Saliva’s “Badass” plays a snarling Badass Jack to the ring. He wears on his hands a pair of steel claws. Odin watches a perturbed glare, as the twenty two year veteran is given a microphone. BADASS JACK Look at you, with your neatly gelled hair, your nice ironed clothes, you look like you should be in a ballet class. (Patty’s note: I happen to love ballet) BADASS JACK So you walk around here, puffing out your chest all big, and calling yourself a god? What a load of crap. If you’re god, then I’m the devil, and I’m gonna make your Angleslam a living hell. Bub, you and Alexander are gonna be begging for mercy from me. But you ain’t gonna get none. I don’t show mercy, and I sure as hell don’t show restraint. I’m gonna tear through you like a pitbull unchained. I will kick Alexander’s Greek ass, and your holy ass all over the 1st Mariner Arena. ODIN Is that so? BADASS JACK Yeah, that’s so, bub. You know something else? You should’ve kept this between you and Alexander. ‘Cause when you dragged me into it, you guaranteed yourself a serious ass whupping. I got twenty two years of frustration from being in this business, and I’m gonna take it out on both your asses. Now you drag out your little casket like you’re the Undertaker, and you think you’re gonna put somebody in there? Bub, come Angleslam I’m gonna bury you six feet in the ground. ALEXANDER (OS) Enough! Odin and Badass Jack turn to find Alexander emerging from the casket! ODIN COLE Alexander was in that casket all along, and I don’t think Odin knew! ALEXANDER Your words are pointless and wasted. There is a time for speech, and that time has long since passed. Therefore I will waste but a few sentences. It is now time for action. And it is action that will provide a victor to our feud, and that victor will write himself in history as the better man. But I ask you both not to hold off until Angleslam. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALEXANDER I ask that we fight to the bitter end, here and now. Odin answers that call by smashing his hammer against the back of Jack’s head! Jack goes down immediately, all life drained from his body. COLE A cheap shot by Odin! Alexander prepares to attack Odin, when the hooded priests assault him. They quickly throw back their hoods to reveal themselves as QUIZ, LOGAN MANN, SYNTH, LUCIUS SOUL, RICO DE JANERIO,! COLE What is this? Logan and Synth shove a bloodied Alexander back into the casket! Odin watches with a broad smile resting on his face as its slammed shut on the Greek. COLE This is awful! Odin exits the ring with hammer in hand, drawing worried gasps from the audience. He continues to smile as he repeatedly brings the hammer down onto the casket. COLE Good god! He’s going to kill him! He’s going to kill him! Eventually security appears on the entrance stage, ready to assist Alexander and rescue him from this awful beating. But a wall of fire that’s summoned by Odin wards them off! COACH DA BASED GAWD! Odin continues to torment Alexander, until he’s finally convinced that he’s done enough damage. ODIN No one shall ever threaten me again! BADASS JACK ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Odin and the “priests” look up to find Badass Jack standing on the ring apron with a wild eyed look on his face. He swings his claws with murderous intent, causing the priests to make a hasty retreat up the ramp. ODIN Cowards! Security finally comes down to the bottom of the entrance, using their numbers to get in front of the claw wielding Jack and the hammer swinging Odin. COLE Folks, we've got to go to a commercial break! Its Big Papa Thrust taking on Kareem when we get back!COMING UP NEXTBIG PAPA THRUST VS KAREEMNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 “Motherfucker of the Year” hits and the guys are joined at Sofa Central by Mr. Dick. COLE We are joined now by the Real American Prick, who this Sunday live on pay-per-view at Angleslam will team with his main squeeze Malaysia and the Middle Eastern Wet Dream Kareem against Big Papa Thrust, Oohlala and Deuce Deuce Bigelow in the first ever SPERM DUMPSTER match! Although Malaysia is conspicuous by her absence this evening. Care to tell us her whereabouts? MISTER DICK That’s for me to know and everyone else to find out in due time. I’m only out here to make sure the Dream keeps his promise and leaves me a piece of Big Papa Thrust to take care of Sunday night at Angleslam. COLE Are you kidding me? I’m sure there’s nothing more you’d love than to see Kareem injury Big Papa Thrust going into AngleSlam. COACH It wouldn’t be Mr. Dick’s fault if it turns out Big Papa Thrust is as injury prone as his brother. MISTER DICK Analysis like that is why you’re the best color man in the business, Coach. “Dick in a Box” by Lonely Island hits and Kareem struts down the aisle bobbling head and all. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first… from every woman’s dream, weighing 440 pounds… KKKAAAAAARRREEEEMMMM… THE MIDDLE EASTERN WET DREAM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kareem acknowledges MD ringside and proceeds to move and groove to his music. COLE Will the Middle Eastern Wet Dream and his partners be swimming in cum infested waters this Sunday night live on pay-per-view at Angleslam? COACH Whaaaaaa? COLE Or will it be the Big Bad Glutei Daddy and his team? “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z cues and BPT power walks to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanied by OOHLALA, weighing 276 pounds… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BPT poses on the middle turnbuckle, a decision he comes to regret after being ambushed by Kareem. * DINGDINGDING * Kareem clubs BPT in the corner and then shoots him across, but BPT avoids a avalanche splash and executes a release German suplex! COACH Dayum~! BPT flexes the largest arms in the galaxy and then flips off MD. MISTER DICK You ain’t got the balls to do that to my face. BIG PAPA THRUST MISTER DICK Yeah, you heard-- Wait a minute. MD uses Cole as a human shield when BPT confronts him face to face. COLE Let’s try to keep it civil, gentlemen. COACH Punch him in the face! Instead of Cole being punched, it’s BPT who again is blindsided by Kareem. The Dream tosses BPT back in and puts the boots to him. Clubbing blow to the back drops BPT to his knees and then a kick to the gut sends him to the corner where Kareem delivers an avalanche splash. MISTER DICK That oughta take the air outta Big Papa Thrust’s inflated muscles. Kareem throws BPT down and covers him. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Kareem points to the top and MD comes out of his seat. MISTER DICK There you go, big man. Squash him like a bug. Because of his size Kareem takes his time going up top, a move BPT makes him pay for with a shot to the gut and then a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX from the middle rope! COLE Oh my! That took the ring! That shook the rafters! Kareem staggers to his feet and eats a clothesline. Again. And again. Kareem reels against the ropes as BPT goes for another clothesline, but this time the Dream ducks and BPT goes flying over the top to the floor. Oohlala rushes to her man’s aid as Kareem falls to a knee for a quick breather. Unbeknownst to him, BPT climbs to the top and connects with a flying clothesline that levels the big man! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BPT signals for the LAY-Z-BOY when Oohlala is suddenly grabbed from behind and swung around like a rag doll by a member of the OAOAST Galaxy in a pink tracksuit. COACH Whoa! And I don’t mean Jo-Jo either. BPT comes to Oohlala’s defense and gets MACED IN THE FACE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winner, as result of a disqualification.... BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! Nobody gives a damn about the official decision because the focus is on the person in the tracksuit, who turns out to be MALAYSIA. COLE Damn her! Malaysia disappears like a thief in the night as MD dumps BPT back in the ring so Kareem can deliver a series of XXL splashes. “DEUCE!” “DEUCE!” “BIGELOW!” The OAOAST Galaxy continues to chant for the Beast from Sin City, but he’s nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, Malaysia wheels a DUMPSTER ringside. COLE What the heck? MD jackhammers BPT and then watches Kareem deliver THE MONEY SHOT~! “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” OAOAST officials tend to Oohlala as MD tosses BPT in the dumpster and a liquid substance splashes in the air. COACH COLE No he didn't. COACH Yes he did. MD slams the lid and poses on top of the dumpster. COLE Is this going to be the result this Sunday at Angleslam live on pay-per-view? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 ANGLESLAM Shill CenterI Wanna Go by Britney Spears welcomes us to OAOAST Studios, where OAOAST Original and legend Tony Brannigan stands, wearing an OAOAST Original t-shirt. TONY Hurricane Irene, the OAOAST is giving you the middle finger, because we are holding Angleslam with or without you live from Baltimore, Maryland this Sunday! The event has been sold out for months, but you can catch it live on pay per view or on OAOAST.comOAOAST World Title ELIMINATION CHAMBER-REJECT VS BARON WINDELS VS BOHEMOTH VS NED BLANCHARD VS LEON RODEZ VS NAT BLACK TONY With all due respect to the champion it isn't all about him, its all about surviving this demonic structure. This is only the second elimination chamber match in OAOAST history, and dare I say this one is even more star studded than the first. You've got former Anglemania maineventers in Reject and Bohemoth, two time world champion Leon Rodez, tag team legend Ned Blanchard, and the red hot Nathaniel Black. Anyone of these warriors could walk out of Baltimore with the OAOAST World Championship.SPERM DUMPSTER MATCH-MISTER DICK, MALAYSIA, KAREEM VS OOHLALA, BIG PAPA THRUST AND DEUCE TONY Nobody innovates like the OAOAST, and this is an OAOAST first. These six have a seriously heated rivalry, and this match will be violent, messy, crazy and entertaining. Whoever comes out the winner here, will have definitley earned that victory.OAOAST Women's Title: MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD VS JADE RODEZ DUNCAN with ALIX MARIA SPEZIA as special guest referee TONY Its sister against sister in this contest! These two have been at each other's throats for months, and have dragged friends and family into their war. Alix has the unenviable task of trying to keep the peace. My deep fear of Krista prevents me from picking a favorite, but this should be a very a exciting brawl.United States Title: CHRISTIAN WRIGHT VS THEODORE MONEYMAKER TONY I never thought I'd see this match. But, my cousin's scheming and ego driven ways pushed Christian Wright into the arms of his enemy, Landon Maddix. Now after holding the US title for a year, Theodore faces his greatest threat in his one time best friend.ALSO ON THE CARD PIERCE DUNCAN AND JAMES RIGGS VS BIFFMAN AND TIM CASH Six Man Titles: J-MAX AND THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS VS THE ENTERPRISE ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL VS ODIN VS BADASS JACK TONY Its the biggest blockbuster of the summer, and it is live on pay per view this Sunday from Baltimore, Maryland! Don't miss it!COMING UP NEXT ANGLEMANIA REMATCH MAINEVENTREJECT VS BARON WINDELSNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return to ringside with our view focused on Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentleman it is time for our mainevent of the evening! The contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty five minutes! Eminem’s “Not Afraid” plays as the arena sinks into a TROUBLING, TROUBLING I SAY, blackness and an orange pyro missile descends upon the entry way. An overhead view of flames in the shape of a bull’s head atop the entrance stage is shown. Stepping into the hellish fire pit is former OAOAST World Champion, Baron Windels. BUFFER Introducing first from San Antonio, Texas, he weighs in at two hundred sixty five pounds, THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGER….BARROOOONNNN WINNNNDEELLLLSSSS! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE There can only be one man walking out of this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber as the OAOAST World Champion. And that person may well be Baron Windels. Six feet seven inches, two hundred sixty five pounds the man is a prime physical specimen who has the skill to back up the genetics. Baron ascends to the top rope, and raises his arms to salute the cheering Pittsburgh audience.It's amazing, I'm the reason Everybody fired up this evening I'm exhausted, barely breathing Holding on to what I believe in No matter what, you'll never take that from me My reign is as far as your eyes can see It's amazing, so amazing, so amazing, so amazing It's amazing, so amazing, so amazing, so amazing It's amazing A single silver light appears on the entrance stage while by Kanye West with Young Jeezy pours through the arena. A frowning Reject slips through the parted entrance doors, with Abdullah Abir Nerdly happily dancing behind him. BUFFER And the opponent, from The Bronx, he is accompanied by ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY…he weighs in at two hundred thirty pounds, he is THE R-MAN….REEEJJJEECCCCCTTTTTTTTTTTT! COACH You wanna talk about a favorite to win the Elimination Chamber match? Talk about Reject! COLE No question there. Reject is the OAOAST’s very own Five-Tool athlete. He can do it all. He may be the best pound for pound wrestler in the world. Reject climbs into the ring, where he scales the turnbuckles. He stares out at the audience with a sharp disdain as BW eyes him down with a deep hatred of his own. COLE I can’t believe we’re seeing this match again! Alfdogg knows what the OAOAST Galaxy wants. DING DING DING Baron offers a lockup to his old rival to start the contest. Not only does Reject refuse it, he does so by booting BW in the gut. Reject swings a kick into BW’s head, sending him staggering into the corner. Reject follows his retreat, and then yanks him inside a headlock. COLE So much history between these two, who feuded for the better part of this year and part of last year. It all culminated in Baron picking up an impressive victory at Anglemania that lead to Reject disbanding the Deadly Alliance. Baron shoves Reject into the ropes, but takes too long to recover from the headlock and is floored by a leaping side kick. The two time world champion bounces off the ropes to try a replay of that same kick. This time BW catches him and slams him into the canvas with incredibly authority. COACH That’s what the other cats in the Elimination Chamber are going to have to watch out for, BW’s power game. COLE He’s a big strapping Texan! After scraping Reject up, BW tags him with a series of punches to the chin. These cause Reject to fall into the corner, and try to create distance between he and BW. The Gunslinger refuses to allow this, and grabs Reject into an arm wrench. BW torques on the hold for several seconds, up until the point where Reject drops him to the mat with an eye gouge. ABDULLAH Those eyes are windows to Satan’s soul! Rip them out! Reject follows orders, dropping to his knees and tearing at BW’s blue eyes. COLE The women and gays of the OAOAST Galaxy voted BW’s eyes his best features, but they’re about to be gouged out if referee Earl Hebner doesn’t step in and do something! Reject shows something that vaguely resembles sportsmanship, by ending the eye ripping to instead work over the arm with a wrench. “LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” the audience rallies the hunky Texan. The chants of the crowd work magic, allowing BW the strength needed to burst free of Reject’s arm wrench. REJECT Oh shit. Reject has good reasons to worry as BW swings a lariat at him! Reject ducks the attack, only to be hit with a lariat to the back of the head! COLE Texas Tea Lariat! Baron hooks onto Reject’s legs for a cover…. ONE! TWO! Reject brings his shoulder up to end the pinfall. He leaves that arm up a little too long, and BW capitalizes by trapping him inside an arm lock. COACH Reject is getting stretched out bad! Abdullah begs Reject to maneuver his way out the devastating arm lock. He attempts to follow orders, but simply gets pushed on his back for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Reject kicksout and scrambles upright. He’d like to go on the attack, but encounters the problem of still being tangled inside an armlock. He rectifies this unfortunate situation by stepping on BW’s feet, the annoyance of the hold forcing a break. Reject runs the ropes, ducking a lariat on his return. But upon bouncing back a second time, Reject is smashed in the face by a big boot! He topples to the canvas, and his larger foe pins him… ONE! TWO! Reject kicksout, as we see Bohemoth watching backstage. COLE There’s the world champion Bohemoth. I talked to him earlier today and he says he sees this Elimination Chamber match as a slight and an insult. He believes the company should do a better job of protecting him, as he is the face of this sport. BW goes to pick Reject off the canvas, but is met with another rake of his blue eyes. He’s dropkicked in the chest, dumping him into the corner. After shaking off the big boot, Reject starts his offense with a parade of flesh shredding knife edge chops. COLE Reject is as we said is a Five-Tool athlete. He can do many things and he can do them amazingly. Reject shoots, BW across the ring into the opposite corner. Surging forward, he looks to connect with a body splash. But BW counters by catching him with a brutal spine buster! Backstage Bohemoth watches unimpressed. COLE Baron Windels taking a page out the world champion’s playbook with a main event spinebuster! Baron awaits Reject’s rise from the canvas. When it does he pounces upon him with a front facelock. The audience pops for the upcoming Brigham Young Cocktail DDT. But they’re left sorely disappointed as Reject manages to shove the big Texan into the ropes. That took much energy out the Bronx native, and as such when BW returns he upends Reject with a flying shoulder tackle! The cover is then made… ONE! TWO! Reject brings the shoulder up! COLE Baron Windels, a former world champion in his own right, would love to get a hold of that title once more. I think he’d make a great spokesman for this company. BW puts himself off the ropes, timing his return to when Reject rises. He leaps through the air and cuts down his rival with another hard shoulder tackle! The pin is made… ONE! TWO! Reject makes another kickout! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” COACH Baron is a strong dude, no diggity, but you ain’t gonna pin a Five-Tool athlete like Reject with a simple shoulder tackle. Reject scrambles upright, but his arm seized and he is then sent into the corner. As he stumbles towards the center of the ring, BW heads to the cables. They spew him back for another leaping shoulder tackle, but Reject counters with a Eulogy! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Eulogy from out of nowhere! That’s what makes Reject perhaps the best wrestler in the world. Reject makes the cover, casually leaning his back across BW’s body… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! “BARON! BARON! BARON!” ABDULLAH Earl Hebner, I will personally use my connections with god to bar you from heaven! COACH I think BW went to the well one too many times with that leaping shoulder tackle. That was his first mistake in a mistake free match and it almost cost him. Reject is furious over the failed pin attempt, but rather than damn Hebner to hell, he simply hammers BW with closed fists. As a replay of the Eulogy is shown on the lower left hand corner of the screen, Reject argues with the official over his use of closed fists. COLE Reject is a smart veteran, he’s going to push the rules as far as they can go. Reject props Baron on his knees, and then proceeds to blast him in the chest with kicks. After landing a fourth kick, he takes to the air and dropkicks BW in the face! While the crowd shudders at the lethal attack, BW’s legs are hooked for the pin… ONE! TWO! No! Reject snaps on a reverse chinlock to slow down the pace of the match. He puts his two hundred thirty pounds into BW’s frame, causing him immense suffering. COLE Both these men know what it takes to be world champion, and its that knowledge of what it feels like to be the top player that’s going to drive them at Angleslam. COACH Its just a shame you won’t be calling that match after Piercey D and J.Riggs get done with you. BW fights to his feet, and uses his elbows to begin making a bid for freedom. This tactic works wonders, as he’s able to separate himself from Reject’s clutches. Off BW goes to the ropes, coming back to swat down Reject with a diving shoulder tackle! COLE That one hit! That big Texas body doing so much damage to Reject. BW grabs Reject by the arm and whips him into the cables. He makes the mistake of lowering his head too early, and Reject is able to successfully sunset flip him… ONE! TWO! BW rolls out the pinfall. This frustrates Reject, who exercises those demons with a blatant chokehold. Hebner begins a count… ONE! TWO! THREE! The official needn’t count any longer, as BW pries Reject’s hands away from his throat. Reject comes to his feet, and his caught in the stomach with two hard body blows from The Gunslinger. Reject counters these attacks, by snapping off a series of kicks to BW’s shin. COACH There’s those smarts of Reject. He’s cutting down the bigger man with those kicks. Reject grabs hold of the seat of BW’s burnt orange tights and chucks him through the ropes. BW lands on the apron, giving Reject the idea to try and kick him off. But The Gunslinger slides out the way and the Bronx’s contribution to the OAOAST gets hung on the ropes. BW pulls him onto the apron, where a brawl ensues between the two men! Realizing he has no chance of winning a fight against the 6’7 powerhouse, Reject attempts another Eulogy! But he fails miserably, and for this gaffe, BW throws him all the way into the guardrail! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Amazing strength on display from the San Antonio native! Pained, Reject starts to crawl away, seeking the comfort of his spiritual guide. Warned to turn around by Abdullah, he does so and is nailed with a diving lariat from the ring apron! COLE This match has been one highlight after the other! COACH And its going to be even crazier this Sunday in the Elimination Chamber! Reject is dumped back into the ring by BW, and again tries to crawl away. As he makes an unsteady rise to his feet, BW is climbing to the top rope. BARON Its clobberin’ time! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A mere second later and Reject’s chest is nearly caved in by a powerful top rope lariat from BW! COLE A cover and that should do it! ONE! TWO! THREE! Abdullah gets onto the ring apron to distract the referee! Ignoring the interference from the troublesome Nerdly child, BW tries to whip Reject into the ropes. But the hold is reversed and BW is the one sent into the cables. He ducks a lariat, but as he turns back around he’s caught in the stomach with a sole butt. This leads to a Eulogy from Reject! COACH EULOGY~!1111`~!!!!!@2353535!!!!! Reject and Abdullah share a smile as a pinfall is made…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING “Amazing” fires back up, as Reject DEMANDS for his hand to be raised by Hebner. COLE Reject with a gigantic win leading up to Angleslam! Abdullah enters the ring to celebrate with Reject. However, The R-Man is in the mood for more violence and requests that Abdullah assists him in stomping BW. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE This just isn’t necessary! One person who shares similar sentiments is Ned Blanchard, who charges down the ramp! He slides into the ring and immediately wipes out Abdullah with a hard punch! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Reject tries to sneak attack Ned with a Eulogy! But Blanchard is prepared for the move and dumps Reject out the ring with a back suplex! But, Blanchard hasn’t much time to gloat before Leon Rodez jumps him from behind! “LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS!” Leon stomps Ned down to the ground, while little Morgan watches on from the ring mats. He swiftly kicks Ned to the outside, dumping him in front of Morgan! LEON Do it! Do it! Do it! COLE Do what? Morgan is hesitant, which only draws out Leon’s rage. LEON Don’t you remember what he did to you? MORGAN But Maya and Molly…they’re my friends. LEON You have NO friends! I said do it, god damn it!ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COACH Oh shit a nigga got roasted! Leon can’t even take a modicum of enjoyment out of Ned’s suffering, as a recovered BW boots him out the ring! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BW turns around is caught with a spinebuster by Bohemoth! COLE He just spine bustered a man who’s six feet seven like he was cruiserweight! Knowing full well there’s one more competitor left to come, Bohemoth waves on Nate Black. COACH Where’s Black? Having made his way through the crowd, Nate Black slides in behind Bohemoth. COLE There’s Black! Bohemoth turns around and is caught by a lethal lariat from Black! He doesn’t go down however, so Black hits the ropes and clotheslines him right over the cables and out the ring! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Black erupts with a primal shout, proud to be the last man standing among his numerous foes. COLE Nathaniel Black stands tall for the second week in a row! But will he stand tall at Angleslam? Find out this Sunday, live on Pay Per View!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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