Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D We come to sofa central where Double C sits wearing the OFFICIAL Angleslam football jerseys. COLE Welcome, folks to Atlanta, Georgia, welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Michael Cole, joined by Da Coach for another thrilling evening of OAOAST action.TONIGHT! OAO SIX MAN TITLESTHE ENTERPRISE VS ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL AND THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLANDTONIGHTALSO TONIGHTRIDE HER CUP PRESENTATIONTONIGHT! COACH A six man title defense? Get the hell out! Mister Moneymaker is already working wonders as king, doing what Alfdogg can't and getting those lazy fools to defend their belts. COLE I think Theodore Moneymaker should be more concerned with defending HIS title than the business of three men who are very active on the international scene. But, right now let's get to in ring action! by 3 Doors Down calls Tim Cash out from the backstage area. Wrestling’s last real good guy emerges, happily waving to the audience. He shakes hands on his way down the entrance ramp, even stopping to have a few conversations as well. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Peoria, Illinois, he is TIIIIMMMM CCCCAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH! Cash nods and smiles at the warm reaction the fans give him. COLE Tim Cash all set for action here on OAOAST HeldDOWN in Atlanta, Georgia.California show me love Get buzzed; let's get fucked up California throw it up Get buzzed; let's get fucked up California show me love Get buzzed; let's get fucked up California, so high we'll ride all night Earning quite the negative reaction, James Riggs, Pierce Duncan, and Amberlyn Duncan appear on the entrance stage. Riggs hops back and forth on his feet, before throwing both arms into the air, to send a pyro missile exploding from behind him. BUFFER And the opponent, being accompanied to the ring by PIERCE DUNCAN and AMBERLYN DUNCAN, he hails from Huntington Beach, California he is the baddest man in Orange County, JAAAAAAAMMMESSSS RRRIIIIIIGGGGGGSSSSSS! Pierce slides into a seat next Coach at Sofa Central. PIERCE Alright, bro, you got The Result! COACH Piercey D! Great to have you out here! PIERCE Aren’t you gonna say something, Cole-bro? Everyone knows me and J.Riggs are your favorite people. We must be the way our name stays on your lips, bro. COLE Let’s just try and call this match. DING DING DING Tim Cash first offers a hand shake to referee Clem Buzzlefoxer. This act of kindess is rewarded by Riggs jumping him from behind. PIERCE Yeah! Look at J.Riggs killin’ it! COLE He jumped a man from behind! That’s despicable! PIERCE A winner gotta do what a winner gotta do! You wouldn’t know nothing about that because you’re a LOSER! Amberlyn applauds on the outside as Riggs stomps Cash in the corner. Eventually, Buzzlefoxer separates Riggs from his target. This causes Riggs to get in the face of the elderly referee and the two have a heated exchange. PIERCE Go ahead and talk some trash about J.Riggs, Cole bro. I know you want to. COLE I just want to make it through this match. Cash comes between Buzzlefoxer and Riggs to try and broker peace. His reward for these efforts is to be popped in the jaw by Bad Ol Jr. The Huntington Beach native hits him with a few more punches, before sending him into the ropes. Cash leapfrogs his lowered foe but is hiptossed on the way back. Riggs hunches over, and motions for Cash to rise. The fans begin to boo, knowing that a spear is forthcoming. AMBERLYN Here it comes! Whooooooooooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooooo! Amberlyn’s call is quite correct as Riggs surges forward for the spear! But Cash moves out the way, and Riggs tangles himself into the ropes. COLE A costly miss by Riggs. PIERCE Why do you gotta insult my bro like that? COLE I wasn’t I was just saying it was a costly miss! Cash allows Riggs to drag himself from the ropes. Once Riggs is free and clear, Cash goes to work with punches to the face. These weaken Riggs enough that Cash is able to trap him inside a front facelock. But the facelock doesn’t hold for very long as Riggs slips out of it. He boots Cash in the gut, and then hurls him face first into the ring posts. PIERCE Look at J.Riggs, staying fresh to death! He treats his body like a temple, Cole, you treat your’s like a toxic waste dump. COLE I just want to call this match. Riggs whips Cash into the opposite corner. He follows the good guy in with a splash attempt, but Cash slides out the way! Riggs hits the posts hard, and he dizzily staggers backwards. This gives Cash the chance needed to school boy him…. ONE! TWO! No! COLE Almost a three count! PIERCE Coach, bro, was that even close to being a three? COACH I don’t think so, Piercey D. PIERCE So why are you lying on J.Riggs, Cole bro? COLE I just want to call this match. Riggs gets to his feet, and is immediately met with kick to the leg from Cash. This hobbles him, and he can’t stop Cash from heading to the ropes. But he recovers in time to catch Cash with a flapjack! The good guy grimaces from the agony that sets in from the move. COLE Pierce, what’s your opinion on this relationship between Tyler and Amberlyn? PIERCE Why are you up in family business? If I had a problem with it, she wouldn’t be dating him. Because in a traditional Italian family the man makes the rules. COLE You’re not Italian, you’re Jewish. PIERCE There you go throwin’ out hate again. COLE How is hate to point out you’re Jewish?! Nevermind, I just want to call this match. Riggs scrapes Cash off the mat, and hooks onto him for a front facelock. He grabs the leg of Cash, and then perfectly executes a Fisherman’s suplex. Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash performs the kickout! “LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY!” AMBERLYN Let’s go J.Riggs! Let’s go J.Riggs! Let’s go J.Riggs! Amberlyn’s chants distract the elderly referee from his duties. A true heel to the very last, Riggs takes advantage of the situation by pulling out his chain wallet. He proceeds to mercilessly flog Cash with the hard metal chain. Cash screams out in pain each time the chain slashes through his skin. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE How can you condone that, Pierce? PIERCE That’s just the way we guidos do things. COLE You’re not a guido! PIERCE Quit insulting my culture! Buzzlefoxer leaves Amberlyn to find Cash pinned to the canavs. He quickly, well as quickly as an 85 year old can move, makes the count… ONE! TWO! Cash brings the shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” PIERCE No way, bro! COACH Mikey, you seem happy that Riggs didn’t get the pin. COLE I do not! Don’t try to make things worse for me! RIGGS Spear! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Riggs squats down, and impatiently awaits Cash’s rise. As Cash groggily comes to his feet, Riggs sprints ahead. His body slams into Cash’s midsection for a picture perfect spear. COACH He nailed it! Riggs makes the cover as Amberlyn counts along…. AMBERLYN ONE! AMBERLYN TWO! AMBERLYN THREE! NO! CASH MAKES THE KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” PIERCE This is crap! COLE This is the heart of Tim Cash, Piercey D! ‘ PIERCE What are you trynna say? That my boy J.Riggs doesn’t have heart? COLE I just want to call the match. Riggs calls for another spear, which does little to thrill the audience. He watches Cash begin to stand, and then makes his move. Screaming forward, he lowers his body for the spear. But Cash slides out the way, and Riggs slams into the corner posts! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A dazed and weary Riggs stumbles away from the posts and finds himself school boyed….. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING! PIERCE BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…….TIM CASH! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Cash wisely gets out of dodge as J.Riggs explosive temper is flaring at full force. He kicks the ring posts, shakes the ropes, and threatens Buzzlefoxer. But the real aim for his hatred becomes Michael Cole. RIGGS You think this is funny? COLE I…..I….I’m not laughing! PIERCE He thinks this is funny! COLE No I don’t! Riggs slips through the ropes in order to make his way to Sofa Central. He stares with violent eyes at Cole. RIGGS You’re having a good laugh, huh? Let’s see how funny, how ha-ha, its gonna be when we beat your ass! Fortunately for Cole, Tim Cash has seen the troublesome situation and has decided to play peacemaker. However, the situation is beyond any peaceful solution, a fact that’s made abundantly clear when Riggs punches Cash. COLE Hey there’s no need for that! RIGGS Shut up! Pierce hops over Sofa Central to join his partner in stomping Cash. The audience jeers, but their cries do nothing to stop Riggs and Piercey D from their cruel assault. COLE Stop hitting him! RIGGS I said shut up! Riggs grabs Cash and throws him into the steel steps. The steps dislodge and Cash cries out in misery. RIGGS That’s going to be you Cole if you keep talking shit about us. Riggs and Pierce leave with Amberlyn who doesn’t seem to care one whit about what’s transpired. COLE Good god, I think we need to go to a commercial break.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage, Bohemoth is in his dressing room, passing time by looking through outfits for him to wear later on. As he peruses through his clothes collection, Josh Matthews walks into the room and Bohemoth leaves his choice for a moment. MATTHEWS Bo, later on tonight President Alfdogg has promised a huge announcement regarding the OAOAST World Title match at AngleSlam. What are your thoughts? BOHEMOTH My thoughts? My thoughts are simple. I don't care who Alfdogg has for me to face at AngleSlam. Reaching back over to the clothes, Bohemoth picks out a pair of sunglasses and casually puts them on mid-conversation. Deal with it. BOHEMOTH The fact is, there's not a man, woman or any other creature or thing on this entire roster that has what it takes to beat me for the OAOAST World Title. I am on another level. I'm up here... and everybody else is done here. I'm the biggest star, the biggest entity that this business has ever seen! So Alfdogg can put whoever he wants in that ring with me. I'll beat anybody. Just like I did with Alix. Just like I did with Krista. MATTHEWS Well, obviously you have reason to be confident, but... BOHEMOTH But nothing! Nobody, NO BODY in this world can stop me! NOTHING can stop me! This is my show, my time, my company, my belt! Alfdogg doesn't even need to announce a challenger and every single one of those fans out there will buy the show, so long as they know I'll be there. You market the show around The World Champion, Bohemoth, In Action and that's all you need. Whoever's challenging me, they're irrelevant. Because AngleSlam is all... about... ME! Bohemoth calmly goes back to sorting his threads, enough to convince Josh interview time is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 * BZZZZZZT * OMG~! After a brief hiatus, the hidden camera returns to show BIG PAPA THRUST park his rental car in front of a SPERM BANK. Shot in black and white, BPT enters the establishment and is greeted by a buxom receptionist. BIG PAPA THRUST Oohlala. It’s not just the receptionist’s beauty that takes the Big Bad Glutei Daddy aback, her name happens to be Oohlala. OOHLALA (stares at name tag and laughs) May I help you, sir? BIG PAPA THRUST I’ve come to make a large donation. OOHLALA Right this way. BPT eye fucks Oohlala as she escorts him to a private room.* BZZZZZZT * OMG~! COACH To be continued, right? Right?! I wanna know what happened next. COLE What do you think?! COACH With Oohlala, you idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 A single spotlight hangs over the entrance stage as by Notorious BIG plays.Yo, the sun don't shine forever But as long as it's here then we might as well shine together Better now than never, business before pleasure P-Diddy and the Fam, who you know do it better? Yeah right, no matter what, we air tight So when you hear somethin, make sure you hear it right Don't make a ass outta yourself, by assumin Our music keeps you movin, what are you provin? You know that I'm two levels above you baby Hug me baby, I'ma make you love me baby Talkin crazy ain't gonna get you nuthin but choked And that jealousy is only gonna leave you broke So the only thing left now is God for these cats And BIG you know you too hard for these cats I'ma win cause I'm too smart for these cats While they makin up facts you rakin up plats Stepping into the spotlight is a robed Melissa Nerdly. Her hands, covered in boxing gloves, torment an imaginary foe. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of ten minutes! Now making her way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is MELISSSSAAAAA NNNEERRRDDDDDLLLLLYYYYYY! The view switches to a young blond woman in the ring, wearing a star spangled singlet. BUFFER And her opponent from right here in Atlanta, Georgia, she is SUGGAARRRRR BELLLEEEEEE! The fans offer a polite round of applause to their hometown representative. COLE Melissa, I suppose fancies herself as a modern day Ali, or a new age Tyson. She's a great striker, and a fast talker- COACH Just like those two men! DING DING DING Sugar Belle offers a lockup to Melissa. Melissa agrees and begins tangling with the southern darling. The two jockey for position, until Melissa swings behind Sugar Belle and runs her into the ropes. She pulls her back down for a pinfall that’s counted by Clem Buzzlefoxer… ONE! Sugar makes the kickout! She rolls to her feet, and is hammered by a right hand from Melissa. The Nerdly kid shows off her expert boxing skills by decking Sugar with a right cross. Another pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Only a two count as SB makes the kickout! COACH Did you see that, Mikey? Melissa put that chick down with one punch. Melissa shadow boxes an imaginary opponent, odd considering she has a real one right in front of her. Those gives Sugar Belle the time needed to recover, and she latches onto Melissa’s waist and drives her across the ring into the posts. The Atlanta native fires up her hometown audience, before surging in and nailing Melissa with a shoulder block to her midsection. Melissa staggers out the corner, allowing Sugar Belle to roll her up… ONE! TWO! Melissa falls out the pinfall. COACH I don’t know if I could date Melissa. Bitch is fine and all that, but what if she gets mad and knocks me the F out? Melissa springs upright, and fires off a series of jabs at Sugar Belle. The southern lass responds by kneeing Melissa to the gut, and then taking off to the ropes. But when she returns Melissa lashes out and drops her with a straight punch. MELISSA There is none better! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Melissa brushes off the audience and goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Sugar Belle makes the kickout. She’s then brought to her feet, and flung into the ropes. Melissa reaches out with a lariat, only for Sugar Belle to swing around with a crucifix pin! ONE! TWO! Melissa finds her way out the pinfall. MELISSA Aw, you’ve made me mad now! I’m gonna pound you out, and stomp you down! Melissa can’t make good on her promises as Sugar Belle drop kicks her through the ropes! The Nerdly kid lands on the ring apron, clutching her sore face. She’s quickly brought to her feet and hooked inside a front facelock. Sugar Belle’s intent is to hit a suplex, but Melissa counters by spiking her neck against the ropes. COACH Mike Tyson couldn’t have done it better! COLE Mike Tyson wouldn’t have done it at all! Melissa rolls back into the ring, and sizes up her stunned foe. She then unleashes a mighty uppercut, that launches Sugar Belle into the air! After Sugar Belle crashes into the canvas, Melissa makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Amazing resiliency shown by this young lady! Melissa chastises Buzzlefoxer for failing to count the three. After that she turns her attention back to Sugar Belle. She awaits her rise, and when it finally comes she leaps into her with a Eulogy! COACH That’s gonna do it! Melissa certainly thinks so, as she stands on Sugar Belle’s chest for an ultra arrogant cover… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…MELISSA NERDLY! Melissa parades around the ring to celebrate her victory. The crowd members don’t offer her much in the way of congrats, but she keeps a pleased smile on her face. COLE Melissa Nerdly victorious tonight in Atlanta. And we have to ask ourselves will The Enterprise be victorious tonight when they face Alexander The Brutal, and The Last Kings Of Scotland for the OAOAST Tag Team Titles.COMING UP NEXTRIDE HER CUP PRESENTATIONNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 OAOAST HeldDOWN Is Brought To You By...OAOAST ANGLESLAM-AUGUST 28TH 2011 LIVE FROM BALTIMORE, MARYLAND Back live in the arena, a WINNER’S CIRCLE has been constructed in the ring where the OAOAST’s own Tony Brannigan stands. BRANNIGAN Here to present the Ride Her Cup, the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns… MALAYSIA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"S&M by Rihanna plays Malaysia to the ring. COLE Where’s the trophy? COACH She is the trophy, Cole. Being the president of the Mariachi fan club explains why that went over your head. Looking ridiculously hot, Malaysia twirls her cat o’nine tails as she takes her place next to Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Before we get to the trophy presentation, let’s first discuss what occurred two weeks ago at the Bohemoth Supremacy when you screwed Big Papa Thrust out of the Ride Her Cup. MALAYSIA Aw, you say that with such a negative tone. Reality is, I made his dream come true. A dream that turned into a nightmare, one he sure got the THRUST of, wouldn’t you say? BRANNIGAN How could you be so cold when footage showed you were clearly hot for the Big Bad Glutei Daddy? MALAYSIA Um, haven’t you heard of role playing? Once I started receiving Big Papa Thrust’s gifts I convinced Dickey we could have a little fun with it and spice up our already red hot sex life by jerking him around. Why settle for a quarter pounder when you can have the Big Mac? BRANNIGAN So you put your man’s physical well being at stake for a thrill -- a sexual thrill?! MALAYSIA Love hurts. * VROOM * * VROOM * * VROOM * BRANNIGAN What the hell is that? The side curtain opens and MISTER DICK pulls into the arena in the BATMOBILE from the 1995 hit film BATMAN FOREVER. Google it and you‘ll know why. Or I’ll save you the time and tell you because it looks like a dick! COACH Holy crap! COLE Are you kidding me? MD leaps out of the Batmobile with a black bag. After a golden pyro shower he joins Brannigan and Malaysia in the ring. MISTER DICK Eat your heart out, Biffman. Where’s your ride? *laughs* "YOU SUCK, DICK!” "YOU SUCK, DICK!” "YOU SUCK, DICK!” BRANNIGAN Listen to the OAOAST Galaxy. MISTER DICK I may suck, but your moms, sisters, wives, girlfriends and daughters all swallow! COACH You to, Mikey Cole. MISTER DICK And that includes you to, Cole. COACH See! BRANNIGAN All right, you’ve managed to stretch this whole thing out two weeks. Let’s get on with the presentation of the Ride Her Cup. MISTER DICK This isn’t the only thing I’ve stretched out the past two weeks. *stares at Malaysia’s ass* But you’re right, old wise one. Tonight’s been a long time coming. I may not be king or World Champion, but damn if I don’t feel on top of the world. We gotta do this right though. Without warning, MD STRIPS Brannigan down and hands him a race suit. BRANNIGAN MISTER DICK If you wanna interview a world class driver, you gotta dress like one of the pros. Malaysia. Help the man. Malaysia proceeds to whip Brannigan, who quickly puts the suit on and then placed with a HEADSET. MISTER DICK Looking sharp, B. Now you look the part of a racing interviewer. BRANNIGAN Are you ready? MISTER DICK I’m locked, cocked and… you know the rest. Malaysia assumes the position and is mounted from behind by MD, who cups her breasts. COLE Oh my. COACH It’s the Ride Her Cup. Beautiful. Suddenly, a thunderous ROAR fills the air. Immediately our cameras cut to the entrance stage where BIG PAPA THRUST rushes down the aisle with a SUPER SOAKER and OOHLALA the sperm bank receptionist who’s also equipped with a super soaker. MISTER DICK BRANNIGAN Incoming! * WHOOSH * Brannigan heads for higher ground as BPT shoots a gooey white substance at MD and Malaysia, both of whom struggle to maintain their footing. COLE I think we found out what Big Papa Thrust was doing at the sperm-- *splat* COACH (laughs) Cole just got it with a big hot-- *splat* Eww! COLE (laughs) Let me help you out. COACH Get away from me you sicko! After he’s through with the first Super Soaker, BPT begins shooting the second one. MD and Malaysia manage to escape the ring and flee through the crowd totally drenched while BPT stands tall with Oohlala. COLE Only in the OAOAST will you see anything like we just witnessed. COACH How can you carry on covered in… Never mind. You must be in heaven right now. COLE I love my job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 In from static (sloppy editing, Molly!), we find ourselves inside the lavish home of Krista Isadora Duncan. Not just inside her home, but inside her grand bedroom, which is pretty grand as you'd expect. Nursing her injuries from The Great Angle Bash, Krista is far from her usual self though. Laid up in her bed and barely able to move, she opens her eyes to acknowledge that Alix is in the room and groans when, well, she realises that Alix is in the room. ALIX So, let's talk! You wanted to talk? Talk away. Talk talk talk talk. Go. KRISTA (in pain) I can't believe I ever found your excitement endearing. I'm begging you to tone it down... and why did you bring a camera? ALIX You said it was important. So, I figured that meant you wanted everyone to hear it, seeing as we're television stars with no part of our private life to intimate to be shared with the world. KRISTA (sighs) You're lucky Molly has a rack I can stare into to dull my pain. Alright, nerds. One time and one time only, you're inside Krista's bedroom. Make the most of it. Krista tries to sit up and grimaces in pain. Alix, showing deep compassion and concern, doesn't even notice as she mindlessly wraps her chewing gum around her finger before popping it back in her mouth. Krista sighs again. MOLLY (O.S) Are you okay, Krista? KRISTA (glances off camera) Keep that camera a bit higher and I'll be fine. ALIX So, what was so important? KRISTA How about the fact my family is falling apart? ALIX Eep. KRISTA Yes. Shayne finally clued me in, seeing as nobody else had the balls to. I knew something was wrong, but nobody bothered to tell me how bad it is. I mean, I hear them running back and forth this house arguing, but they do that all the time. So I brush it off and wait for my pain medication to kick in so I can drift off into some hazy universe where they don't exist. Don't judge me. Brothers and sisters fight all the time, I get that. I fought with mine all the time. Kicking, scratching, making them cry, ripping their teddy bears' heads off, using up all their hair products. And that was just Pierce. But, this is too much. My children are trying to tear each other to shreds and I can't do anything about it, because I can barely walk three paces without being crippled with pain. At least I have a reason to be a neglectful mother, unlike mine. But somehow, I feel this strange sense of... what's the word... ALIX Watermelon. KRISTA No. ALIX Watermelon's a word. KRISTA Ugh. No. I feel a sense of... of... duty. ALIX Ha ha, you said duty! Krista closes her eyes, realising she's trapped in this room with Alix and tries to go to her happy place. That happy place being just below the camera shot. ALIX So basically what you're saying is, you wanna do something about Jade and Maya? Because, as their mother, it's your job. KRISTA Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. ALIX And you're confused by these feelings of responsibility and care for your children. KRISTA Yes. ...wait, no! ...well, maybe. But that's not my point. My point is someone needs to do something before I end up with two ugly bald children with teeth missing. ALIX GASP! Your worst nightmare come true! KRISTA Exactly. That's where you come in. ALIX Oh. Okay, hang on a second. Jumping up from the bed, Alix rushes off out of sight. Seconds later, she re-appears from through the door. ALIX Right, I'm in! What now? KRISTA (under breath) I swear to God when I get out of this bed... MOLLY (O.S) Uhm, Alix, I think what Krista means is she needs your help to sort Jade and Maya out. ALIX No problem! Just gimme five minutes alone with them and I'll make them talk. KRISTA Alfdogg called me yesterday. He says Maya keeps pestering him for a match with Jade. I told him if he made it, I would kill him. I wasn't feeling very verbose or descriptive at the time, so I kept it short and sweet and to the point. Anyway, I think he got the message. But Maya's my baby and she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants. And she's going to start doing stupid shit to get it. Normally, I'd be proud. But this is problematic. ALIX Ya know, maybe letting them fight isn't the worst idea. We fought and we're closer than ever, right? KRISTA Sometimes I have dreams where I strangle you until you stop talking. ALIX Ooh, kinky. KRISTA You might be right though. We need to do something. They can't keep going around feeling utter contempt for each other. We need to get them back to the normal, healthy levels of contempt for each other they used to have. Which is why I'm thinking of agreeing to let the match happen. But... then I think about what could happen. They're essentially fighting for their mother's love, it could get ugly. ALIX Totally. KRISTA That's where you come in. ALIX O... KRISTADon't move a muscle. ALIX Sorry. KRISTA I've thought it through and maybe it's the Vicodin talking, but I think I should just let them sort this out. But on one condition. I need you to be the referee. Alix, for once, doesn't say anything, which is presumably a sign she's surprised, but who knows. KRISTA There's no way I can be around to keep them in check. I need someone I can trust to do it for me. And seeing as I don't have anyone like that in my life, you're the closest thing I can get. You referee the match and make sure this doesn't get anymore out of hand than it already is. ALIX So you want me to be the bad cop. I can do that. KRISTA Right. But, you have to realise, I'm leaving the health and fate of my daughters in your hands. You can't just get distracted by some errant fly buzzing around the arena and go running off chasing it. I'm putting, god help me, faith in you. Also, you need to watch out. Maya's got a smart mouth and she's probably going to say something to make Jade really mad. Also, she's probably going to try and trick you somehow with her superior intellect. So try and avoid that. That one may be hopeless. Just watch what she says. Maya likes to fight dirty. One time in field hockey, she managed to gouge one opponent's eyes without getting caught. Then there was the time she tied that girl's laces together during the 100 metres at the sports day. And let's not even get started on the itching powder in the leotard incident during the gymnastics meet. Long story short, watch her. She's mean, she's sneaky and normally I'd be filled with pride, but not this time, please. ALIX Okay, cool. What about Jade? KRISTA Jade... uhm.... make sure she doesn't cry in front of people? ALIX The moment she starts to tear up, I'll slap her just for you. KRISTA I'd appreciate that. Seriously though, if you don't screw this up, I promise to give you Hilary Swank's private phone number. ALIX FINALLY! You've got yourself a deal! Alix jumps up and tries to hug Krista, but thinks better of it thanks to the look of contempt and warning in Krista's eyes. ALIX So, like, are you sure you want me to be straight legit down the middle and all that? KRISTA Excuse me? ALIX Just between you and me, I can be good cop and I can be bad cop, but I can also be corrupt cop. Wink wink. KRISTA Are you suggesting I might want you to fix the match? ALIX Come on! If you had to pick a favourite, who would it be? KRISTA These are my daughters. You can't just expect me to pick a favourite. It would scar them for life and make me a horrible parent. ALIX Okay, I completely understand that. But, if you had to choo... KRISTA Maya. JADE MOM! Bursting in the room, Jade looks outraged, as you'd expect. KRISTA Were you out there listening the whole time!? JADE HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!? KRISTA She made me choose! Don't put this on me! If it's any consolation, it's quite close. JADE ARRRGGGHHH!! Jade storms off, making as much of a noise and a fuss about it as possible. KRISTA (to Alix) That's one screw-up. For every screw-up, I'm going to erase one of the digits of the phone number. ALIX Aww, no fair!COMING UP NEXT SIX MAN TITLESTHE ENTERPRISE VS ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL AND THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLANDNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 THE WORLD IS MINE! Green and yellow lights swirl about the arena as “The World Is Mine” by David Guetta brings its dancing styles to the event. James Blonde, clad in a pink and red zebra print pair of tights, lime green boots, and a yellow head band is the first to step on stage. He’s shortly followed by CMJ and Spencer Reiger, who pats him on the shoulder. Last but certainly not least is Theodore Moneymaker, attired in a white suit, and the sexy Lorelei DeCenzo. COLE The Enterprise with a big opportunity tonight as they attempt to capture the six man titles. A different version of the stable held the belts several years back with Simon Singleton, Ned Blanchard, and Christopher Patrick Allen as the champions. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes and it is for the ONE AND ONLY SIX MAN CHAMPIONSHIP! Now making their way to the ring, being accompanied by THEODORE MONEYMAKER and LORELEI DECENZO, they are JAMES BLONDE….SPENCER REIGER…COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR…..THE ENTERRRPRRRRISSEEEEEEEEEEEE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Theodore Moneymaker situates himself at Sofa Central next to Da Coach. COACH Welcome, sir! MONEYMAKER Thank you, John. COLE I notice the whole Enterprise is out here, except for Christian Wright. MONEYMAKER (flatly) He’s busy. “Mother” by Danzig rolls across the arena, as blue and white lights descend upon the entrance stage. Coming out from the backstage area is the mohawked duo known as The Last Kings of Scotland. The two hard hitters psyche themselves up for their upcoming title defense. They then march to the ring, full of intensity. BUFFER And the champions, first from Scotland, they are DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT…..THE LAST KINGS OF SCOOTTTTTTLLLLLAAAANNNDDDDDDD! The two Europeans hit the ring and frighten off their challengers with nasty glares. COLE The Enterprise looks intimidated and they haven’t even faced the toughest of the six man champions. “Disarm” by Smashing Pumpkins plays to a solid reception from the Atlanta audience. A rusted steel cage rises up onto the entrance stage containing the hulking figure of OAOAST newcomer Alexander The Brutal. The cage door is opened by Megan Skye, and Alexander, holding a dirty shield and sword, steps into the world. He solemnly nods to the camera and then makes his way to the ring. BUFFER And their partner, from Kavala, Greece, he is accompanied by the OAOAST’s Foregin Liason MEGAN SKYE…he is ALEXANDER THE BRRRRRUUUTTAAAAALLLLLLL! COLE Alexander The Brutal has never been pinned and he’s never been submitted. He’s only ever lost by DQ. This makes him a tough for The Enterprise. MONEYMAKER We’ve been training hard specifically to face Alexander. There’s nothing he can do that these three young superstars aren’t prepared to counter. DING DING DING COLE James Blonde starting out against Danny Boy, which is interesting from the perspective of The Enterprise. Wouldn’t you say, Theodore? MONEYMAKER That’s Mister Moneymaker, and I’d say it’s a genius play crafted by a genius in myself. Blonde invites Danny for a lockup, only to boot him stomach when the European agrees. Blonde looks over to his new mates for approval, and gets a round of applause from Lorelei, a shrug from Spencer, and a “get on with it!” from Colin. Taking Colin’s advice, Blonde whips Danny into an empty corner. Blonde charges full speed ahead, with intentions on hitting a splash. But Danny explodes with a Superman Punch! COLE He rocked him with that one! Blonde scrambles to his feet, and is promptly dumped back down by a spinning elbow from Danny. Clutching his sore face, he gets back to his feet and looks for help from Colin and Spencer. No help is forthcoming. What does come, however, is a bulldog that drills his face into the canvas. A pinfall is then made… ONE! Colin breaks up the pinfall! COLE This is why I said its interesting that they started with Blonde, because I’m just not sure that he’s as adept as Colin and Spencer. COACH Mister Moneymaker, would you school this fool? MONEYMAKER I’d be happy to, John. James Blonde is a wrestler’s wrestler, his knowledge of the business goes back to the OAOAST’s infancy. He’s been tested by top competition across the world, and he stands before us a better man for it. Danny Boy drops Blonde with a scoop slam, and then applies the tag to Scottish Scott. The burly Scotsman situates himself on the second rope, leading to him driving his knee into Blonde’s chest! He quickly rolls to his feet, and then he and Danny drop their heads onto Blonde’s noggin! COLE Oh that was vicious attack! MONEYMAKER And a foolish attack as well. It no doubt did as much damage to them as it did to my newest protégé. Scott scrapes Blonde off the ground, expecting to be able to continue the attack. However, The Trendsetter rakes the eyes of his foe. He then guides him into The Enterprise corner and makes the tag with Spencer. “SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS! SPENCER SUCKS!” SPENCER You must have me confused with your whore mothers! MONEYMAKER BWHAHAHAHHAAAAA! Spencer joins Blonde in shooting Scott into the ropes. The two don’t act fast enough on the rebound, and Scott flattens them with a double lariat! Scott rolls to his corner, and brings Danny back into the contest. COLE Quick tags by The Last Kings Of Scotland. Theo….Mister Moneymaker don’t you worry about how hard hitting the six man champions are? MONEYMAKER I’m not a man who worries, Cole. I’m a man who knows. And what I know is that I have a Harvard graduate, a wrestling prodigy, and a rejuvenated Trendsetter on my team. You could hit as hard as a truck, and you still would not be able to best these three athletes. Danny runs into the corner in order to drive his shoulder into Spencer’s handsome face. Spencer staggers out the corner, watching as Danny takes off to the ropes nearest The Enterprise. Unfortunately for him, CMJ reaches out and grabs onto his Mohawk. Infuriated, Danny Boy swings around to attack him. But the Boston native acts first, and drives his throat onto the cables. Megan complains to referee Earl Hebner, who in turn warns Colin. CMJ Go fhack yerself! Colin gets tagged into the contest by Spencer. COLE Let’s see how Colin does when he’s not attacking people illegally. MONEYMAKER He’s a Harvard graduate and one of the toughest men to ever lace up his boots. He will perform exceptionally, Cole, while your commentary continues to be bane of numerous existences. BWHHAHAAAHAHAH! CMJ shoots Danny into the ropes, and throws out a lariat. Danny ducks the attack and continues to run the cables. When he returns, he’s booted in the stomach by the Boston native. Colin nails him with an Irish uppercut, and then tosses him away with a t-bone suplex! COLE HARDVARDPLEX! VINTAGE CMJ! CMJ hooks onto Danny’s legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny Boy rolls upright, and is quickly confronted by the makings of a D-Street Cutter! Somehow he’s able to shove Colin away and into the corner. The Harvard grad hits the posts, and stumbles backwards into a rear waistlock by Danny. The European hasn’t a second to execute his planned move before CMJ swings behind him to apply his own rear waistlock. Whereas Danny met with failure, CMJ encounters success, throwing Danny across the ring with a high lifting German suplex! COLE Irish Supex! VINTAGE CMJ! COACH What were you saying about being the bane of numerous existences, sir? MONEYMAKER BWHAAHAHHAAA! Let’s enjoy the night, shall we? I feel the six man titles within our grasp. After years of absence they’re finally coming back home to The Enterprise. CMJ tags his best friend, Spencer, into the contest. The two men discuss a double team, that results in them whipping Danny into the ropes. A double flap jack crashes him into the canvas. As CMJ leaves the ring, Spencer makes the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Danny gets the shoulder up! MONEYMAKER If Earl Hebner wishes a job in the Theodore Moneymaker empire, perhaps he should count these pins a bit faster. Spencer mocks Danny and Scott’s Mohawk, drawing Scott into the ring. Hebner intercepts him, which allows CMJ to sneak back into the ring. The two men once again hurl Danny into the ropes. His face smacks into the canvas thanks to a drop toe hold, and he’s then repeatedly kicked in the head by the former tag team champions. After CMJ leaves, Spencer makes another pinfall effort…. ONE! TWO! Danny kicksout, leading Megan and the crowd to offer hims encouraging applause. COLE Mister Moneymaker, you have to know that Landon Maddix won’t take you guys winning the six man titles very well. MONEYMAKER Landon Maddix is an irrelevant, insignificant coward. You might as well tell me the popcorn vendor here in the arena won’t take us winning very well. I do not care what Landon Maddix cares about, for Landon is a fool, and fools aren’t worth my time. Spencer begins picking Danny off the canvas. The European shows some spirit by firing off punches at Spencer’s adorable (no homo) face. Angered that someone would dare harm his good looks, Spencer starts rifling punches back at the aggressor. MONYEMAKER Furthermore, we, with the aid of Oscar Friberg, have already dealt with The Kingdom. Now, should any more of their members wish to see the proverbial light and defect to the superior outfit they would be more than welcome. But until that time the rats will toil on a sinking ship with an inept and foolhardy captain. Danny takes off to the ropes, but comes back to a kick to the stomach. Spencer then delivers a New York Knockout with an inverted bulldog! COACH Mister Moneymaker, I feel like the titles are close to coming home! COLE Alexander The Brutal hasn’t even gotten into this match yet. He could change the entire complexion of the contest. MONEYMAKER James will handle him. COLE James Blonde will handle Alexander The Brutal? Now, I’ve heard everything! Spencer taunts an annoyed Megan, before going for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Scott makes the save, yanking Spencer off his partner. Spencer decides to shrug this off, and simply goes to the corner to tag CMJ back into the contest. COLE I notice its been mostly Spencer and Colin doing the work while Blonde sits on the ring apron, pretending not to look stupid in that outfit. MONEYMAKER Much like they’re keeping Alexander fresh, we’re keeping James fresh. COLE I quite think you can compare James Blonde to Alexander The Brutal. Danny Boy gets to his feet, and is caught by a pair of left hands from CMJ. A Celtic Frost Suplex follows, leaving him in incredible agony. CMJ makes the motion of strapping a title around his waist before going for the pin… ONE! TWO! Danny finds the strength needed to kickout! He slowly rolls upright, met with a pair of knees to the stomach. CMJ slaps on a front facelock, and then raises him high into the air. He delays the move to showcase his impressive strength, disgusting the crowd. COACH Brains AND brawn! What doesn’t Colin have? COLE Colin’s not very big, but there’s a lot of strength in those two hundred ten pounds. There is not, however, enough strength to keep hold of Danny. The champion slips through CMJ’s grasp, landing behind him. He dives backwards to tag in Alexander The Brutal! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Your guys are in trouble now, Mister Moneymaker! A thrust kick levels Colin, giving the fans further reasons to cheer! SPENCER Crap, we better do something. BLONDE Right behind you! Blonde is indeed right behind Spencer…on the ring apron as The One Man Triple Threat runs into a raised boot! He’s picked up and shot into the corner, where a splash causes him to stagger out to the center of the ring. Alexander wraps his arms around his waist and throws him across the ring with an Overhead belly to belly suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE BRUTAL~! Alexander heads for Blonde, but the Canadian drops to his knees and pleads for his life! Luckily for him, CMJ jumps Alexander from behind. MONEYMAKER That was a marvelous play by James to sucker in Alexander so that Colin could attack him. COLE It looks to me like he was close to wetting himself. Alexander fends off CMJ, leveling him with a battering ram headbutt. He then tags Scottish Scott into the contest, so that he two may enjoy the slaughter. Alexander slingshots CMJ at Scott, and Scott catches the Boston native in his arms. He then runs across the ring, and slams him into the corner posts with ferocious impact! COLE He calls that the Scottish Spear! Wait a second what’s this? All eyes turn to the entrance ramp where Odin strides down with massive hammer in hand. COLE He has no business out here! Hebner tries to interject himself before things get out of hand. However, Odin keeps coming. As such Alexander exits the ring to go after Odin. Odin swings the hammer, but Alexander tackles him before he can connect and a brawl ensues. COACH Alexander a fool for that one, he’s left his team high and dry. COLE It was either that or get attacked by a maniac wielding a hammer! Speaking of maniacs, Badass Jack has entered the fray! He pounces upon both men, pummeling them with animal intensity. COLE This is madness! MONEYMAKER This is the OAOAST! BWAHHHHAAAAAAA! Meanwhile in the ring, Danny Boy clotheslines Spencer over the ropes. Spencer lands on his feet, but this does him little good as Danny dives through the ropes to slam his shoulder into his fetching face. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Meanwhile in the ring, Scottish Scott slams CMJ down to the canvas with a scoop slam! COLE The Harvard grad better think himself out of a beating! CMJ begins yelling at Scott. Scott grabs Blonde by the throat, but the man won’t shut up. The reason for his boldness is soon made apparent as Blonde enters the ring, holding Odin’s massive hammer. COLE Turn around, Scott! Blonde lashes out and strikes, Scott in the back of the head with the large tool! Scott sinks to the floor, devoid of any life. COLE Ooh right in the head! MONEYMAKER There’s my brilliant acquisition! CMJ goes through the formality of tagging Blonde, who then makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winners of the match as a result of a pinfall and new ONE AND ONLY SIX MAN CHAMPIONS…..THE ENTERPRISE!!! James Blonde celebrates though he just won the World Cup, World Series, and NBA Championship all in one glorious moment. He hugs Colin, who seems slightly annoyed to have Blonde gripping him so tightly. However, CMJ shrugs off the bothersome embrace and grins in the wake of his latest title victory. MONEYMAKER What a beautiful day this is! There are no words in the English dictionary that can describe the elation I feel right now! Spencer and Lorelei join their friends inside the ring to revel in the wondrous triumph. COLE Without Odin’s hammer I don’t think we would’ve seen a title change. Megan and Danny Boy attend to a knocked out Scott. On the outside of the ring, referees and officials try to break apart the fight between Alexander, Jack, and Odin. MONEYMAKER The Enterprise is greatness personified, gentlemen. No entity in this industry could ever dare match our talents, and no man alive could equal my genius and talent! I am King and I rule over all! We fade to commercial from an image of Moneymaker laughing over this great triumph.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 With our final commercial break over we find President of the OAOAST, Alfdogg, in the ring for the AngleSlam main event announcement. ALFDOGG Ladies and gentlemen, right now let me bring out to the ring the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... BOHEMOTH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"*SREEECH* "Where Would You Rather Be" powers through the arena and to a chorus of boos, Bohemoth strolls onto the stage. In a black sleeveless bomber jacket and jeans, Bohemoth lowers his sunglasses and looks down at the crowd, before heading for the ring. COLE Bohemoth, whether you like him or not, has been on a dominant streak over the past few months. And that has given Alfdogg a lot of food for thought when it comes to choosing a number one contender at AngleSlam. COACH I don't know who Alf's come up with, but I don't know if it's gonna be enough. Bo destroyed two of the most dominant options in the company, Alix and Krista, who've run roughshod around here for years, destroyed them both. Who are you gonna find better than that for Bo to face? Bohemoth climbs into the ring, forgoing a handshake with Alfdogg and posing on the turnbuckles with the World Title belt. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stepping down off the ropes, Bohemoth lounges back in the corner and signals for Alf to go ahead, ready to hear him out. ALFDOGG Alright, tonight we are going to announce the main event for AngleSlam, coming up August 28th from Baltimore, Maryland. Bohemoth, obviously, the World Champion. And I've gone through a number of options as far as who you're going to face. But, before we get to that, is there anything you want to say? Bohemoth looks at Alf curiously, before calling for a microphone. BOHEMOTH I don't think I need to say any more, because I wouldn't be saying anything that everybody doesn't already know. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" ALFDOGG In that case, we'll save the talking. But I did happen to hear what you said earlier to Josh. And I noted a few things you said down. Now, obviously, you made it pretty clear, you're confident of beating anyone I put against you right now. BOHEMOTH Anyone! Give me anyone, I'll chew them up and I'll spit them out like they were nothing! ALFDOGG Well, that's interesting thing number one. Interesting thing number two you said was that not only could no one beat you, but no thing could beat you. But what stuck out was when you said... what was it... how I could market AngleSlam around just the promise of you having a match, against an unknown opponent and people would buy the show, because you're the selling point. BOHEMOTH Damn right. It's all about ME! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ALFDOGG Hmm. Well, it's funny you should say all that. Because, I've clearly had a different way of thinking to you. Bohemoth lifts his sunglasses up, giving Alf a funny look. ALFDOGG Now, the line about no-one being able to beat you? I'm not so sure about that. But, you're not going to have to worry about that. See, you're not going to be dealing with just any one person at AngleSlam. You're going to have multiple opponents to deal with. BOHEMOTH Fine! Stack them up. You know as well as I do, you don't have a man or woman capable of facing me one on one. You've gotta throw multiple people at me to even make it competitive, I ain't afraid of that. ALFDOGG Good to hear. What was the other one? Nothing could beat you? BOHEMOTH Nothing! No man, no woman, no thing. ALFDOGG We'll see about that, because you're definitely going to have to be dealing with "something". But the one I take issue with is this whole idea of marketing. Don't get me wrong, you're very marketable. But, we did market the last show around you, so maybe we won't go with that again. We wouldn't want you to start getting an ego or anything. No, instead, we're going to be marketing AngleSlam around something else. Because, in the main event at AngleSlam, you are going to be defending that World Heavyweight Championship... against REJECT... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ALFDOGG ...and, against BARON WINDELS... "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ALFDOGG ...and NATHANIEL BLACK... "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth scowls a little, not liking how this is sounding. ALFDOGG Oh, wait, there's more. Because you're also going to be defending against LEON RODEZ... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ALFDOGG ...and NED BLANCHARD... "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ALFDOGG Now, that sounds pretty great to me. But, we want to market this, we want to put "something" more into this... which is why, you're going to be defending that World Heavyweight Title... inside the ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH WHAT? COLE OH, MY~! Ripping the sunglasses off his head, Bohemoth looks enraged and takes a step forward, getting in Alfdogg's face about the announcement. Alfdogg stands his ground and gives Bohemoth a look like "do you really want to do this", until Bohemoth backs down and takes his frustrations out on the bottom rope instead. ALFDOGG AngleSlam, August 28th, Baltimore Maryland and if you weren't already buying the show to see "Bohemoth in action", hopefully the Elimination Chamber will seal the deal. Thank you very much. Alf waves to the crowd and leaves the ring, leaving behind a fuming Bohemoth who paces around muttering to himself. Alf looks back and shrugs his shoulders at Bo. COLE Can you believe that announcement!? August 28th, AngleSlam... it's all about the Elimination Chamber!*FADE OUT* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts