Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D We come to sofa central where Double C sits wearing the OFFICIAL Angleslam football jerseys. COLE Welcome ladies and gentlemen to OAOAST HeldDOWN~!"Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" A large cheer comes from the stands to meet “When I Grow Up” by the Pussycat dolls. Appearing on the entrance stage in jeans and a pink babydoll tee is OAOAST Women’s Champion. She smiles cheerfully as she makes her way down to the ring. COLE I am Michael Cole sitting beside Da Coach, and with Leon Rodez facing Ned Blanchard in a lumberjack match in our mainevent, tonight's show will be incredible! And its good to see Jade Rodez-Duncan out here smiling again. There hasn’t been a lot to smile about with her heated feud with her sister Maya. COACH I ain’t smiling either! Krista’s just biding her time, waiting for the right moment to come back and kill us all for letting this happen. Jade grabs a microphone and prepares to speak. You make me Feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's runaway And don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops When you look at me Just one touch Now baby I believe This is real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back Maya strolls out from the backstage area, earning herself an ovation equal to her sister’s. She wears short jean shorts and a blue and white striped collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. MAYA Woah, stop, stop, stop. Hey, Jade, how are ya? JADE I was doing fine until you showed your ugly face around here. MAYA You look slimmer, chubs. You’ve been laying off the cheeseburgers, and getting into the gym, and I think that’s great. Maybe one day your butt won’t be wide enough to stage a U2 concert on. JADE I guess, I could have them photoshop my breasts to look bigger in an OAOAST magazine shoot like they did your’s. MAYA Its not National Geographic, chubs, no one wants to see you in your native habitat with the rest of the hippos. JADE You’re just mad because there’s more of me to love. MAYA I didn't know it was mating season for your species. You know what I didn’t come out here to insult you. I came out here for a front row seat to hear those brilliant promo skills of your’s. That Chris Rock style delivery with that Ashley Tisdale voice, and those Angelina Jolie acting skills. So, we’re all going to listen and you’re going to talk. JADE Whatever, I’m not even going to deal with you anymore. I’m too busy polishing my championship belt to even listen to what a non-champion has to say. What I wanted to do was address the OAOAST Galaxy. I know that you all have a lot of options of who to cheer. You exercise that right every time out. There’s so much talent in this company, that eight different people can have eight different favorite wrestlers. MAYA Excuse me! Excuse me! I don’t mean to interrupt. But, its been a very long day, I’ve had a conference call with Jay-Z and Kanye about appearing on their tour when it comes to LA, my team of agents flew out here to meet with me, I stopped a man from killing himself by handing him a picture of me in a bikini. Its been a long day. And these people, they’re tired, they want to get home and go to bed, so can you fast forward to the part where you actually have a point. JADE I do have a point. My point is that I want to thank all of my fans for cheering for me. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Hold on, hold on, hold on. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt you again. But you’ve got my fans in attendance. “MAYA! MAYA! MAYA!” MAYA And they’re looking at your fans, and they’re saying to themselves “Why do they let crackwhores into the arena” but their also saying to themselves that this is boring. This is torture that’s cruel and inhumane. Please quit boring my fans. Let’s try this again. Ready? Go! JADE I’m not going to bark at your command! MAYA Why not? Everyone else does. JADE You are such a spoiled…..BITCH! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” JADE Do you think you’re better than me because you grew up in Beverly Hills and I grew up in a condo in Grand Rapids? MAYA Well, yes. Naturally. JADE Do you think you’re better than me because you can take your clothes off in a magazine? MAYA Of course I do! JADE Do you think you’re better than me- MAYA Stop right there! Jade, you need to stop this line of questioning before I tell Mom not to give you any milk bones. I’m better than you at EVERYTHING! I’m a better singer, that’s why P.Diddy wants me to have my own album, I’m a better actor that’s why I’m doing a voice in a Pixar movie, I’m better looking that’s why I hang out at the Playboy mansion and you hang out at the local kennel, and I’m a better wrestler than you to. JADE Oh yeah, if that’s so, why don’t you have the women’s title? MAYA And we come to my real reason for being out here! Great! You don’t deserve that title. You only won it because of me. You’re stretching it out, and you’re getting grease stains on it. If anyone should be champion its me! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA I’m the bigger star, I’m the more talented athlete, and I’m just way cooler all around. But, the problem is you’re too much of a chicken to give me a shot at the belt. JADE I’m no chicken! MAYA You’re a second away from laying eggs! I want a title shot! And I want it NOW! JADE You’re not getting anything from me! MAYA Maybe, I’ll just march down there and take it from you. COLE Oh no! Maya begins heading down the entrance ramp with Jade waving her on. COACH Oh, Krista please forgive us our sins! Luckily the arrival of Alfdogg distracts the girls, and keeps them from another hair-pulling brawl. ALFDOGG Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude on family business. But Maya does have a point. MAYA Ha! ALFDOGG She’s undefeated in her short career, and people with far inferior records have gotten title shots before her. I know I risk being killed by Krista, but I have to uphold the integrity of the OAOAST titles. Therefore I am booking you, Jade to defend your title against Maya at Angleslam! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Jade and Maya have a nasty stare down as Alf starts to sweat profusely, nervous that Krista’s coming for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Alexander The Brutal stands in the arena floor of the 1st Mariner Arena, site of 2011’s Angleslam. The arena is dark, except for a spotlight that hangs over Alexnader. ALEXANDER To you I currently stand in the empty 1st Mariner Arena in Baltimore, Maryland. But to me, I stand in the site of a great battle. This great battle will put to shame all those that have come before it. Clips of Badass Jack, Odin, and Alexander fighting are shown. ALEXANDER It will be legendary in its brutality and renowned for its violence. This great battle will pit a man honor, a god, and a vicious killer against each other. Blood will be shed, lives will be altered, and history will be written. This battle will be between The God Of War Odin, Badass Jack and myself, Alexander The Brutal. Highlights of the three men in battle are displayed. ALEXANDER I am issuing a challenge for the OAOAST pay per view event Angleslam and I am issuing it to both Odin and Badass Jack. We have fought many times before, and we have tasted the bitter taste of our own blood, brought on by the weapons of each other. But, I ask you both to meet me in the OAOAST ring for the ultimate confrontation. A triple threat match to determine who is the OAOAST’s deadliest warrior, and end this war once and for all. I await your answer. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT LUMBERJACKS WITH TENNIS RACKETS MATCHLEON RODEZ VS NED BLANCHARDTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 As return from break "Church Of Hot Addiction" hits and emerging onto the stage, James Blonde is in high spirits. Partly because of the company he's keeping, followed out by both Theodore Moneymaker and Lorelei DeCenzo. And partly because of the new FUR JACKET he's wearing BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first. From Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... weighing in at two hundred, fifteen pounds. He represents THE ENTERPRISE... "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJJAAAAAAMMMEEEEEEESSSSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And, in the ring, from Jefferson City, Missouri, weighing one hundred, sixty nine pounds, BILLY POTTER! The small, young opponent salutes the crowd, but all eyes are on Blonde as he makes his way into the ring brimming with confidence. Wearing a sparkling tiara, Lorelei follows him into the ring, while Teddy heads for the announce table. COACH *bows* Smirking at his opponent, Blonde flicks his arms out and allows Lorelei to disrobe him, revealing new, long wrestling tights. Lorelei leaves with the jacket and Blonde is ready to go. *DINGDINGDING* COLE Mister Moneymaker, welcome. Or, should I call you King Moneymaker? MONEYMAKER No, you don't have to call me that. Only a vainglorious egomaniac would insist on being called King. Everybody knows who I am, I don't need it spelt out. Mister Moneymaker is fine. Blonde locks up with Potter and quickly goes behind with a waistlock. With ease, he takes his opponent down to the mat with a high takedown and rides him on the mat. Potter has no answer and only escapes when Blonde kindly lets up, having shown his opponent up. COLE Quite the opponent you've lined up for your new employee. MONEYMAKER This man is not an 'employee', Michael Cole, that's so common sounding. He's a protege, a star in the making, a man who's going to make me a lot of money. Well, a lot more money. BWAHAHA! Locking up again, Blonde casually takes Potter down again. But this time he steps up the pace and drops a knee to the side of the head! A second knee follows, before he applies a modified camel clutch with the knee firmly placed in the back. COLE You know, Mister Moneymaker, I've got a lot of questions about your 'relationship' with James Blonde... MONEYMAKER Fire away. COLE ...well, why James Blonde, for a start? MONEYMAKER Why not? Look at him. He's in the best shape of his life, I've got him on a new training regiment. I've bought him some proper wrestling attire, got rid of whatever concoction of fabric it was he used to wear. With my backing this man can be a megastar. Blonde drags Potter back to his feet, hitting him with a couple of forearms. A hard scoop slam plants Potter down and Blonde stops to pose for the crowd's adulation. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Some things don't change. Not concerned by this booing, Blonde leaps into the air and plants a big elbow drop into the heat of Potter and forces him down with a pin... 1... 2... No! MONEYMAKER You're telling me you're not impressed by this man? COLE James Blonde has all the tools. But, he's not exactly been very successful in recent months, which is what makes this sudden signing so... 'curious'. MONEYMAKER Well you can hardly blame him for that. The man has made poor choices in role models. Zack Malibu? Landon Maddix? He was learning from chumps. Now he's learning from a king! Hammering away on Potter, Blonde then whips him into the corner. Hitting a clothesline, Blonde hooks him and brings him right back out of the corner with a follow up bulldog! Sitting on the mat, he stops and looks pleased with himself, as Lorelei applauds his efforts. COLE It's interesting you should bring Landon Maddix up. It seems awfully convenient that of all the people you should sign to The Enterprise after years of no hiring, it would be Landon's former protege. You're saying this isn't all some sort of a powerplay by you? MONEYMAKER Landon Maddix is none of my concern. He's insignificant to me. The Enterprise needed freshening up and the time was right to bring in someone new. And frankly, the fact that Landon Maddix kicked aside a man with the talent of James Blonde says all you need to know about his leadership skills. After another slam, Blonde heads to the middle rope. He stops up there and looks to the crowd, a cocky smile on his face as he takes off... and HITS the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! Blonde does a poor job of trying not to look shocked at his own success, but Lorelei urges him to hurry up and cover. 1... 2... NO! COACH Mister Moneymaker, sir... uhm... I've gotta be honest with you. This whole thing with you and Landon? I ain't feeling it. You're obviously a very, very great man and I respect you greatly... COLE Oh boy. COACH But, you know, I don't want to offend you, but I kinda like Landon too. And I can't bear to see two great men fight each other. Climbing to the top rope this time, Blonde waits for Potter to struggle to his feet and flies off, aiming a flying knee at the side of Potter's head! MONEYMAKER Johnathan, I have no problems with you, or anyone, 'liking' Landon Maddix. It doesn't offend me at all. So long as you acknowledge and respect me as the one, true King of the OAOAST, you're welcome to like who you want. COACH ...okay. I think I can do that. Smirking to himself, Blonde drags his outmatched opponent off the mat. And he places him in a cobra clutch. MONEYMAKER Look at this! Look at this! Blonde has the time to pause. Infact, he has all the time in the world, Potter showing no signs of fighting back. Flicking his hair back, Blonde then sweeps the leg and delivers ILLEGALLY BLONDE! MONEYMAKER BWAHAHA! What a move! That was fantastic! Not even bothering to make a cover, Blonde lazily lays his elbow on Potter's chest and lounges back, pouting for the cameras! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING* MONEYMAKER Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure. A pleasure watching James Blonde, that is. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... JAMES BLONDE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker gets in the ring and shoos the referee away, wanting to raise Blonde's hand himself rather than have the lowly official do it. Lorelei and Moneymaker fawn over Blonde and his 'amazing' victory and Blonde walks around like he's the greatest man in the world. COLE Theodore Moneymaker not exactly testing his new acquisition hard here tonight. I'm not even sure this kid he found to wrestle him is even eighteen. And that one hundred, sixty nine pounds might only be soaking wet carrying two bricks. COACH Say what you want. You've gotta admit, Mister Moneymaker's got JB's confidence back. As Lorelei holds the ropes open for Blonde to leave, Moneymaker suddenly remembers something. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a couple of bills and places them in the prone Potter's mouth, patting him on the chest. COACH Hey, at least he got paid! Moneymaker and Lorelei leave, singing the praises of Blonde into each ear. To the point you can almost see Blonde's head inflating.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 OAOAST HeldDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BYSOMETHING BORROWED-ON DVD AUGUST 16TH We return to the arena to find OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan standing atop the interview stage. BRANNIGAN Louisville, Kentucky, and a worldwide television audience, please welcome… MISTER DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Golden pyro showers the stage as the Real American Prick, dressed like a race car driver, is escorted to the ring by Kareem the Middle Eastern Wet Dream. BRANNIGAN There are plenty of subjects to speak with you about, but first of all, what is with the ridiculous getup? MISTER DICK Haven’t you heard? BRANNIGAN Heard what? MISTER DICK I’m a rider now. But unlike the rednecks that drive around in circles for hours on end, I pull directly into the winner’s BOX! “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” MD spits TOBACCO on Brannigan’s shoes. BRANNIGAN What the hell, man? I paid $500 for these! MISTER DICK Don’t you know we’re in a recession? Anyway, my bad. I’ve started to dip. Nasty habit I know. It’s just part of embracing the racing culture, although I urge all the little kiddies to stay away from the whacky tobacky. *spits* BRANNIGAN Embracing the racing culture? What are you, a method actor all of a sudden? MISTER DICK The best entertainers are. And I’ve been doing a lot of entertaining the last few nights, if you know what I mean. BRANNIGAN That would explain why the woman in the center of controversy, Malaysia, is conspicuous by her absence. MISTER DICK I guess you could say she’s currently a bit BUTT hurt, but in a much more satisfying way than that waste of sperm Big Papa Thrust, who officially joined his brother on the PUP list -- physically unable to perform. One thing he’s still able to do is see, and that’s exactly what each and everyone of you in the OAOAST Galaxy will wanna do next week when Malaysia returns to present me with the Ride Her Cup and answer the questions on everybody’s mind. BRANNIGAN Like why she screwed Big Papa Thrust. MISTER DICK Isn’t that what he wanted all along? That’s why they say be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. A phrase the Big Bad Glutei Daddy gets the thrust of now. KAREEM Word to your mother! *bobbles head, makes funky cool hand motions* BRANNIGAN Well, then let’s discuss your match later tonight against the Milkman. MISTER DICK If the OAOAST thinks I’m lacing up the boots tonight after a grueling 5 match series, I got news for them: not gonna happen. While women across the country and around the world won’t get to see me compete tonight, they will get to feast their eyes on the Middle Eastern Wet Dream who so graciously offered to step in on short notice. KAREEM And I got things to do after the show, nice curvy things, so get a ref out here and bring the poor mofo who’s gotta face me to the ring. A ref sprints down the aisle, followed by DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" KAREEM & MISTER DICK COACH Either the Milkman’s put on some weight, or… COLE Deuce’s wild! * DINGDINGDING * MD hightails it as Deuce and Kareem collide like two bulls COLE Mr. Dick just threw Kareem under the bus. Look at him flee like a thief in the night. COACH He’s the one under attack, you idiot. Deuce rocks Kareem against the ropes with forearm shoes and then clotheslines him over the top. The Dream staggers to his feet and signals that’s enough before retreating backstage. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Deuce invites Kareem back inside as the ref proceeds with the 10 count. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! * DINGDINGDING * “Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” cues as Deuce’s hand is raised. BUFFER Here is your winner, as result of a countout… DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH This wasn’t a sanction match, Cole. COLE Kareem’s the one who asked for a referee. COACH For a match against the Milkman. And that sure as hell wasn’t the Milkman. COLE What a wild night it’s been. And we still have more to come!THE HOTTEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER RETURNS... ANGLESLAM SUNDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 28! LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Cue:: Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me Jeers and taunts roll down from every corner of the arena as Pierce Duncan and James Riggs make their way onto the entrance stage. Riggs snarls at the cruel audience, while an oblivious Pierce goes into his famous fist pumping routine. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen: please welcome PIERCE DUNCAN and JAMES RIGGS! COLE What do these two yahoos want? I was really enjoying the show before they came out. Pierce and Riggs are given microphones. PIERCE Since, I got here in the OAOAST, I’ve gotten mad respect from dudes. Everyone’s been rushing up to me asking “Piercey D how can I dress like you? Piercey D how can I talk like you? Piercey D how can I have sex with you?” J-MAX once came up to me with his naked broad and said “Piercey D I want you to bang girl” Not only did I have sex with her, I gave him a lesson on what it means to be a man. And since me and J.Riggs have teamed up, the tag team division has been running scared. We’ve got dudes having look out with binoculars in the hallway, shouting “J.Riggs and The Result are coming! J.Riggs and The Result are coming!” The hallways clear out real fast of these other tag teams, but their valets stay around because they want some good-good lovin. RIGGS Things have been great for us. We party hard, and we fight hard. We’d be tag team championships if it wasn’t for my Polio acting up again. COLE If he had polio he wouldn’t be able to walk. RIGGS Naturally success breeds haters. And seeing that we’re two successful guys we’ve got plenty of haters. Most of them are our so-called peers. The D*LUXes, The Christ Air Expresses, The Masked Mutants. But when they get to poppin shit, we put ‘em in the ring with us and we shut them up very quickly. But there’s one dude around here who’s been talking some serious shit about us. This dude just can’t keep our names off his lips. Every time he has a bad word to say he says it about us. He runs his mouth whenever he’s interviewed or on Youtube, he even takes to Twitter to talk his shit. He’s got nothing else on the mind besides hating us. COLE I wonder who they’re talking about. RIGGS He can’t stand to see us shine. When we win matches, his fists curl up into tiny balls, his body shakes, his mouth scowls, and steam pours out his ears. When he sees with us girls, he can’t help but get mad because he’s going home to beat off to the girls of the Sears catalog. COACH Sounds like a loser. COLE Whoever he is, I’m sure he has a good reason for hating on these morons. RIGGS This dude’s name is Michael Cole! COLE RIGGS Get in here. COLE I really don’t think- RIGGS Get in here now! Cole meekly gets up from Sofa Central. With his head held low, and his palms sweaty, he enters the ring. Riggs eyes him down with a furious glare. COACH Dis gun be good! RIGGS What do ya think we’re deaf? That we don’t watch the shows? Is that it? Its like you think we don’t hear the shit you’ve been talking on us. PIERCE We heard every word, bro. RIGGS We heard you call us your least favorite OAOAST personalities on Syndicated. Then we watched the replay of HeldDOWN two weeks ago and heard you called us morons, goofballs, and act like we’re two no-name no talent jobbers. PIERCE What do you gotta to say to that, bro? RIGGS What’s the matter? You lose your voice or something? Or did you lose your balls? Can’t call us idiots when we’re standing right in front of you, can you? I guess you can’t put us down when we’re ready to kick your ass? Now you’re not such a tough guy. Now you’re a punk bitch, and we’re going to kick your ass just for the fun of it. Riggs grabs Cole by the collar, and begins violently shaking the scared announcer. COACH I knew this was gonna be good! Luckily for Cole, backstage officials soon fill the ring. They work tirelessly to pry Riggs’ hands away from Cole’s collar. Finally they’re able to separate Riggs from his helpless victim. Cole drops to his knees in fear, as Riggs and Pierce are forced out the ring. RIGGS It isn’t over between us, Cole! We’re coming back for you! We cut to commercial as Cole is helped to the safety of Sofa Central by the OAOAST officials.COMING UP NEXT LUMBERJACKS WITH TENNIS RACKETS MATCHNED BLANCHARD VS LEON RODEZTHE MAINEVENT IS NEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return from break with our view focused on our legendary ring announcer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is the LUMBERJACKS, ARMED WITH TENNIS RACKETS MATCH!! The Kentucky crowd cheer, whilst the camera pans around the ring to show the lumberjacks. All stood with racket in hand are Christian Wright, Spencer Reiger, Colin Maguire Jr., Oscar Friberg, MARV and MEL, Nathaniel Black, Baron Windels, Tim Cash, Remy Bazil, Lucius Soul, Rico de Janeiro, Vinny Valentine (with his own zebra print fur racket cover) and on the side nearest the ramp Shayne Brave, Tyler Bryant and of course Simon Singleton. COLE A first, here in the OAOAST. Lumberjacks with Tennis Rackets, live on HeldDOWN. A giant snakes head with flaming orange eyes sits on the stage, bellowing smoke from it's mouth. And moments later, bellowing out Ned Blanchard. BUFFER Introducing first at this time. From Orange County, California. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and fourty seven pounds... one half of THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDD... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAANNCCHHHAAAAAARRRRRDD!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Ned marches to the ring, giving Simon a high-five on his way into the ring but that aside, all business. Scaling the turnbuckles he raises his fists to the fans, before looking down at the side of the ring where Wright, Spencer, Colin and Oscar all stand. Three of which he doesn't seem too pleased to see, but Spencer makes a motion like they're cool and don't worry. COLE All of our lumberjacks were brought together by President Alfdogg earlier tonight, to go over the rules. If Ned or Leon are outside of the ring then their job is to get them back into the ring. If any of the lumberjacks over step their bounds and start using those rackets on Ned or Leon in any over circumstances, they've been threatened with a hefty fine. COACH Maybe it's just me, but if you've got a match where you've gotta threaten the people keeping order to stay in check, that's too dangerous of a match and it shouldn't be going down. COLE So long as they stick to the rules and Leon Rodez sticks to the inside of the ring, there'll be no problems."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, as Leon Rodez slowly makes his way out. Looking even more downbeat than usual. With Morgan close in tow, Leon inches his way down, looking at the sea of OAOAST wrestlers waiting for him, all armed with weapons. And for once, Leon looks almost as intimidated as Morgan does."I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" BUFFER And introducing, his opponent. Accompanied to the ring by MORGAN NERDLY! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred and eighteen pounds. He is self proclaimed "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As the unique couple make their way to the end of the ramp, they find themselves faced by D*LUX and Simon Singleton. Leon backs around, making sure to keep an eye on them all. Reaching the ring, we suddenly see Morgan is clutching her own tennis racket. Morgan is placed in a corner by the ring steps by Leon and given some very clear instructions, before he climbs the steps into the ring. Leaving her stood meekly with her racket, Singleton and Lucius wisely keeping a bit of distance either side. COLE Well, at least Leon has one ally around the ring. Although I'm not sure how much good Morgan is going to do with that racket, up against the likes of Baron and Rico. COACH I don't think it's the tennis racket you wanna be worried about. Entering the ring, Leon sticks close to the corner, not ready to fight yet but unable to stall for time outside. Ned stands across the ring with a big smirk on his face. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and suddenly, feeling trapped, Rodez ducks through the ropes and forces Ned to be backed away. Leon wards Ned off, then looks down and sees The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Remy Bazil looking up at him expectantly. COACH They can't hit him if he's not outside, right? COLE Right. He has to be on the floor, as I understand it. With a wall of people outside, Ned is happy to wait and points out that there's no escape to Leon. Leon takes a look around and takes a deep breath, steeling himself as the realises he's stuck in the match. Finally, he's forced to lock up. Ned immediately backs him into a corner and doesn't give a clean break, instead beginning to stomp a mudhole in Leon's chest!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh man, how satisfying must this feel for Ned! As Ned stomps away, the lumberjacks pound the apron with their rackets, creating a wall of noise as they urge Ned on. Ned picks Rodez up and whips him to the opposite corner, which bounces Leon out into a BAAAAACK body drop! NED C'MON YOU SUNNUVA BITCH! Ned unloads with right hands on Leon, hammering out months of frustration on his trapped opponent. With Leon dazed and his frustrations suitably worked out, he boots Leon in the gut and goes for an irish whip. Leon manages to reverse though and forced Ned up and over with a drop down. Then under a leapfrog. But a second leapfrog isn't so successful, countered into an inverted atomic drop! Frozen in shock, Leon is BLASTED with a standing clothesline and has had enough, rolling to the outside... ...almost. Getting as far as the apron, Leon suddenly sees Black, Baron, MARV, MEL and Cash, all waiting on him. Enough to make him think twice. Ned reaches over the ropes, pulling Leon up on the apron. He then brings him in the hard way, with a big suplex!! COACH Oh man. Leon can't catch a break right now. Literally. COLE He also can't catch the first train out of here, which might be what's on his mind! Clutching his back, Rodez crawls to one side of the ring, faced with D*LUX and Simon. He doesn't fancy that and crawls to the next side. But he doesn't want to risk going out with Wright, LDC and Oscar either. So he resorts to desperate tactics and BEGS OFF from Ned! COLE Awww. Good luck with that. Ned holds his hands on his hips and smiles, before booting Leon in the chest! Grabbing him by the hair with one hand, Ned uses the other to hammer away with fists. The referee pulls Ned off and with no-one holding him up, Leon flops from his knees to his face, to Morgan's great concern. "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" "LET'S GO NED!" Ned drags Rodez to his feet and with the Fallen Idol already knocked loopy, one big punch is enough to drop him like a stone. COLE You think this is the ass kicking that Ned was hoping for? COACH I'm sure it is. It's not over yet, though. Don't count Leon out. COLE Looks to me he's counted himself out long ago. Maybe on instinct, Leon tries to roll out again, but has enough presence of mind to stay on the apron. He climbs to the bottom rope and hopes that'll be enough to earn him a break. But it's not, Ned barging past the referee and stomping away! And to make matters worse, D*LUX and Simon put their rackets up, creating a makeshift shield to prevent Leon falling to the floor. Which means more stomping. COACH They can't do that, he's not on the floor! COLE They're not hitting him, Coach. I think this falls within their job description. COACH I think this falls into not fair! Finally able to pick himself up on the apron, Leon reaches over the ropes and hangs Ned's neck across the top. Rodez makes sure not to fall to the ground, but takes an angry kick at Tyler and Shayne. Climbing to the top rope, Leon scowls at the lumberjacks, then leaps out at Ned... who catches him on the way down with a shot to the stomach! NED OUT? "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The fans like Ned's plan, as he finally decides to bring the lumberjacks into play and tosses Leon through the ropes outside! COLE Anyone for tennis? COACH You've been sitting on that one all week, haven't you? The lumberjacks on that side split as Leon flies past, then go to move in. However, before they can bring their rackets into play, Morgan rushes round and stands over Leon protectively! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Noticing what's going on, Ned barks at the lumberjacks to do something. But Vinny, Bazil, Lucius and Rico are all afraid to get too close to a wild-eyed Morgan. Much to Ned's frustration, Leon now getting a breather as he curses to himself in the ring. COACH What did I tell you, Cole. Don't count Leon out. COLE This isn't how this match is supposed to go and you know it. Leon's had about twenty seconds to regroup. COACH Yeah, well, Ned shouldn't have thrown him outside, should he? Leon slowly picks himself up, with Morgan guarding him all the while. Eventually, some of the other lumberjacks decide they've seen enough. And although they too are tentative, the collective numbers of Simon, D*LUX, MARV, MEL, Black, Baron and Cash all move in. Suddenly starting to panic, Morgan thankfully doesn't react violently, but instead runs off and cowers. Leaving Leon unguarded! LEON COWARD! With no time to hang around and berate people, Rodez jumps onto the apron before the sides can close in on him. There waiting is Ned, but Leon manages to give him a shoulder through the ropes. Leon tries to slingshot himself in with a sunset flip. But Ned sits down on him and cradles the legs! 1... 2... No! Leon gets up and throws a big right hand, which is blocked. Ned fires back with one of his own. And another. Whipping Leon to the ropes, Ned then puts his head down, too early, allowing Leon to catch him with a kick to the shoulder blade. Ned walks away shaking out his arm. But he catches Rodez charging at him and hits a powerslam! Cover... 1... 2... NO! As Rodez picks himself up by the ropes, Ned charges in and gives him a clothesline, up over the top... ...and onto the apron! The lumberjacks hold off, laying in wait as Ned tries to bump Rodez the rest of the way to the floor. But Rodez thinks quickly and pulls the top rope down, causing Ned to go flying out to the floor instead! LEON GET HIM! Unfortunately for Ned, he finds himself in unfriendly surroundings, as Wright and the LDC Moneygang have no problem 'doing their job' and wailing away with the rackets!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH I guess Leon isn't the only one with enemies around the ring! To his credit, Oscar Friberg tries to do his actual job, which is get Ned into the ring rather than beat him repeatedly with blunt objects. Spencer and Colin eventually listen to him, partly because the other lumberjacks start complaining, helping to dump Ned back inside. But the damage has been done and Ned lies in a heap, hurt. Leon sits and watches all this, only picking himself up once Ned has been presented back to him. COLE There was Leon's lucky break. Leon makes the most of being able to take his sweet time. He saunters over and kicks Ned, before kneeling down on the back of his head. "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" "LE - ON SUCKS!" Not letting the crowd get to him, Leon dishes out a couple of forearms and then comes off the ropes and delivers a clothesline. Cover... 1... 2... No! Forcing Ned back against the mat, Leon places his foot on Ned's head and tries to grind him into the dirt. COACH Not pretty. But effective. The referee eventually tires of this tactic and makes Rodez break. Leon backs away, as Simon tries to encouraged Ned. Just to antagonise him too, Leon grabs Ned by the NOSE and makes sure Simon has the best view in the house. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" What Leon doesn't reckon on is Ned fighting dirty in return. And much to his shock, Ned comes up, with one of Leon's fingers between his teeth!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Ow ow ow! A boot frees Leon's finger. Rodez fires his knee into Ned's ribs and doubles him up, giving him time to check the damage. In frustration, Leon then pitches Ned outside and leaves the lumberjacks to do the work while he nurses his hand. This time however, Ned is thrown into a friendlier part of ringside and the likes of Baron and Cash roll Blanchard back inside without any need for the rackets. LEON COACH Come on guys. What's the point of having rackets if you're not gonna use them? Leon brings Ned back up and sends him across the ring with an Exploder Suplex! The impact rolls Ned through and he winds up near the ropes, trying to pull himself up. Leon attacks from behind, placing Ned across the middle rope, in front of D*LUX and Simon. Who are powerless to help out Blanchard, as Leon stands on his back and chokes him!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Hopping down before five, Leon doesn't risk disqualification. Simon gets in Ned's face and tries to fire him up, so Leon forces the referee to order him back. COLE Rodez, playing mind games with people as usual. Just trying to goad these lumberjacks, which might not be the best idea. Leon kicks Ned in the kidneys. Staring down at Tyler and Shayne, he then gets on Ned's back again! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." This time, Leon doesn't even make it to five, as Ned suddenly pushes up and Leon goes tumbling over the top to the floor!!! COLE Uh oh! Picking himself up, Leon takes a moment to realise where he is... and by the time he does, he's hit with a BARRAGE of rackets from Shayne, Tyler and Simon!!! *THWACK* *THWACK* *THWACK* "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE Told you so! Leon tries to cover up and run from the beating he's getting, but the rest of the lumberjacks are no kinder on him! Rodez ends up running a gauntlet around the ring, the lumberjacks unable to slow him down as he circles past but certainly able to get a swing at him! Having been beaten by pretty much every racket at ringside, Leon is forced to bail back into the ring to get away from the beating! COLE What a rally that was! And look at the red marks and welts all over Leon's body! Flailing around in pain, Leon ends up walking right into a Spinebuster from Ned!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Hooking Leon up, Ned turns and appeals to the crowd. Louisville responds, earning themselves a Slingshot Suplex!! COLE VINTAGE Ned! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! As Leon uses the ropes to drag himself up, Ned calls for the end. He grabs Rodez in a sleeper and tries to drag him out into the centre of the ring, but Leon grasps the top rope! Unable to prise Leon away, Ned is forced to let go and beat on Leon's back with forearms instead. Leon falls across the middle rope, so Ned takes off into the ropes and comes back, dropping his leg across the back of the Fallen Idol! In a moment of desperation, Rodez reaches out and SNATCHES Oscar Friberg's racket away! COLE Hey! You can't do that! At this point, Rodez doesn't seem to care and raise the racket high over his head ready to strike... but Ned intercepts with a boot. Stepping behind, Ned then slaps on the sleeper! COLE Angel's Venom! But as Ned sets himself for the suplex, Leon suddenly drops down and counters with a jawbreaker. "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The referee finally gets a chance to remove the racket and kicks it outside. Except, he kicks it out on the opposite side of the ring from Oscar. Meanwhile, Leon wrings Ned's arm and delivers the Sole Destroyer! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO! As Rodez gets back up, Oscar goes to retrieve his racket. Leon lines Ned up, waving him around and unleashing with a superkick... which is CAUGHT. Ned swings Rodez around by the foot and both men get the same idea, resulting in a DOUBLE clothesline. COLE Oof! Both men go down. COACH Yeah, but we've got trouble on the outside Mikey. As both Ned and Leon lay flat out on the mat, attention turns to the outside, where Oscar is having some trouble retrieving his racket, now in the possession of Lucius and Rico. The Hellfire Club refuse to give it back to their enemy, which brings the LDC Moneygang over to fight Oscar's corner. And although Oscar tries to calm them down, soon the Moneygang and the Hellfire Club are into a heated arguement... leading to an even more heated RACKET SWINGING!! COLE Uh oh! It's breaking down between the lumberjacks, the Kingdom and the Enterprise are going at it! As the rackets begin to fly, the rest of the lumberjacks try and jump in to break things up. But that only makes things worse and soon the Kingdom and the Enterprise are fighting everyone else off, leading to a wild melee between all of the lumberjacks!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH It's the world's first tennis riot! COLE We've got big trouble here, the lumberjacks are going at it and I haven't even got my John McEnroe jokes out yet! In the midst of the chaos, the referee is understandably distracted and that is the perfect sight for Leon to wake up to. Crawling across the ring he waves frantically at Morgan and gets her to slide her tennis racket into the ring! Leon grabs the racket. But that isn't what he wants. Unzipping the cover, he tosses it aside and brandishes a LEAD PIPE that had been concealed inside!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a minute, NO! Leon clutches the pipe to his chest, keeping it hidden from Ned and luring him in... ...NO! Ned ducks the pipe shot! And he knocks Leon down with a clothesline! The pipe goes flying, as Morgan looks on aghast. Ned looks around, seeing the referee distracted and gets the same idea as Leon, picking up the tennis racket. COLE What is Ned thinking!? COACH He's thinking about hitting one out of the arena, that's what he's thinking! And that one is Leon's head! As Ned wields the racket, suddenly Morgan scrambles into the ring and tries to sneak up on Ned. COLE Oh no... Morgan, get out of there! Look out, Ned! Hearing worried screams from the fans, Ned suddenly turns around and GRABS Morgan before she can do anything to him! Morgan freaks out and tries to get away. But, Ned shakes his head with a smile. And to make Morgan pay for her attempted interference, The Handsome Hustler bends her across his knee and SPANKS HER WITH THE TENNIS RACKET!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" *THWACK* *THWACK* *THWACK* COACH *THWACK* *THWACK* COLE STOP THAT! Morgan sobs as Ned takes her to the woodshed (well, the tennis equipment shed). Ned eventually shoves Morgan off of his knee, leaving her hurt and humiliated. She crawls into a ball, clutching her reddened backside, when suddenly, Ned feels a hand on his shoulder... ...which suddenly turns him around, right into a ONE HIT KILL!!!!!! COACH BAM! COLE Leon was lying in wait! First concern for Leon is to remove the evidence, pushing the racket out of the ring. Second concern is then to grab the referee's attention and go for the pin! 1... 2... 3!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" *DINGDINGDING* Some of the lumberjacks look up at the sounds of the bell, but the melee continues anyway. Simon breaks free and dives into the ring, but Leon has already had chance to escape and gets out of dodge. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... LLLEEEEEOOOOONN RRRROOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Grabbing a sobbing Morgan firmly by the wrist Rodez takes off, dragging Morgan with him, hobbling to try and keep up with him. Simon kneels over Ned and tries to wake him up, as Leon continues to cart Morgan off and Morgan continues to hold her stinging BUTT in pain. Past him rush a wave of referees, to try and break up the mad scene around the ring. COACH I guess that's what you call game, set and match! As the racket fight is slowly dispersed, Tim Cash and D*LUX join Simon in the ring. Simon grabs a water bottle and pours it on Ned, in an effort to revive him, clearly knocked unconscious. COLE Leon Rodez has pulled off another escape. But he's escaped with a victory.FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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