Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-BROADCAST IN OAOAST 3D We go straight to Sofa Central where Double C sits ready and waiting to call tonight's intense action. COLE Welcome, folks to Chicago where we are just days away from In Your Parents Basement: The Bohemoth Supremacy! I am Michael Cole joined as always by Da Coach! Let's get this show underway!Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP! GO GO GO Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO! Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO! GO GO GO GO Vanilla Ice’s classic 90’s hit Ninja Rap summons out big breasted Melody Nerdly, clad in a white gi and red headband similar to Ryu from Street Fighter. As Matrix style code slides down the video screen, Melody throws imaginary hadokens every which way. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making her way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, she is THE GAME GENIE….MELODY NEEEERRRRDDDDLLLLLYYYYY! Melody slides into the ring and acknowledges her BFF Jade Rodez-Duncan with a big thumbs up. COLE We’re joined at this time by OAOAST Women’s Champion, Jade Rodez-Duncan. Jade great to have you out here. JADE Thanks, Michael. Unlike another guest commentator you had last week I plan on being insightful, classy and honest instead of deceitful, bitchy and cruel.You make me Feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's runaway And don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops When you look at me Just one touch Now baby I believe This is real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back A massive ovation falls from the stands in response to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream”. Stepping out from the backstage area and cutting in front of a massive neon lit MAYA sign, is the girl herself. She twirls a cute blue baton before passing a high five to her best buddy Molly Nerdly. BUFFER And the opponent from Los Angeles, California, she is accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY….she is THE ANGELIC HELLRAISER MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHAAAAARRRRDDDDDDDDD! Maya notices Jade immediately and makes a motion of stuffing her face with food. COLE Jade, it’s a shame to see you two fight in this way. Can’t you be the mature one and call a truce? JADE She started this by being such an egomaniac. I shouldn’t have to deal with someone calling themselves The Maya Brand. Who does that? Seriously? And what’s with her saying I’m not a real Duncan? I am as real as her if not more even more so. DING DING DING Melody and Maya circle each other to start the contest. They then come together to shake hands. JADE Grrrrrrrr. After pulling her hand away from Melody, Maya stabs her friend in the gut with her sneaker. MAYA Hmmm, nice and tight, not flabby and sick like a certain BFF of your’s. JADE I have a nice body! Maya overhears Jade’s comment. MAYA Yeah, and Wayne Brady has a normal hairline. Melody takes this moment of distraction to attack Maya with a swift kick to the leg. This hobbles Maya, and allows Melody to bounce off the ropes. The second eldest Nerdly kid rebounds to smack Maya beneath the jaw with an elbow. A kung-fu pose is the prelude to a big boot that drops Maya to the canvas. A pinfall then follows… ONE! Maya brings her shoulder off the canvas. JADE I think that referee is favoring her! She always gets a favorite treatment because she’s the baby! Its not fair! COLE Jade, calm down please. JADE I am calm! Melody shoots Maya into the corner, causing the littlest Duncan to smack against the corner posts. Following in with a charge, Melody is warded away by an elbow. She staggers backwards, and Maya follows her path. The Angelic Hellraiser grabs Melody by her big beautiful breasts and throws her sideways! MAYA Hmmm, bouncy, big and gorgeous, unlike flat, hideous, and stiff. JADE Is that a shot at me?! MAYA No, it’s a shot at Jamie Foxx. Of course it’s a shot at you! Maya turns back to Melody, scrapping her off the canvas by her golden hair. Melody counters any offense by Maya with a jaw breaker that sends the Duncan girl stumbling away. MELODY GET OVER HERE! Unfortunately Melody has no hook like Scorpion to bring Maya over. As such Melody must use manual labour and fetch Maya. But as she nears the California native, she’s elbowed in the stomach. This doubles Melody over, allowing Maya to bounce off the ropes and strike her in the back of the neck with the Inheritance Kick! JADE You know what, I’m tired of her calling me flat chested. I am not flat chested! I’ll take off my top right now and show her flat chested! COACH YES! Maya begins picking Melody up, only for The Game Genie to leap upward and strike her in the face with her big beautiful breasts! MAYA Don’t do that, you’ll make Jade jealous. When Pizza hut runs out of pans they serve pizza on her chest. JADE I’m gonna rip off my clothes right here right now! She’s going to make me do it! This is driving me mad! Molly looks worried at Jade’s fit of rage, but Maya seems quite amused. Noticeably less amusing is the school girl Melody rolls Maya up with… ONE! Maya easily slides out the pinfall. MAYA Your pinfall falls flat. Just like Jade’s chest. Maya rolls upright, and meets Melody with several shots to the stomach. Having doubled Melody up, Maya hooks her inside a front facelock. She sets up for a vertical suplex, but Melody punches her way free of the move. This does little to dampen Maya’s fighting spirit and she knocks Melody for a loop with a standing lariat. COLE Maya’s a very powerful girl, especially for her age. JADE That doesn’t mean my breasts are small! COLE I…I…I didn’t say anything about your chest. Melody comes to her feet, no worse for wear as indicated by her humming the Simpson’s themesong. She’s hit with three kicks to the leg, that now leave her in poor shape. She’s able to duck another lariat, but finds herself left on the canvas by a side kick from Maya. MAYA Things I can do that Jade can’t, talk to an attractive boy without having drool from at the corner of my mouth, sing without driving innocent bystanders to the brink of insanity and of course this… “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” JADE She’s such a rip off of Mom to. Everything she does she stole from mom. And personally I think mom likes me a lot more than she likes Maya because I have something called love for her as a person and not love for her as a an ATM machine. Maya completes the COD signature attack by moonsaulting over onto Melody. The pinfall is quickly counted…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Melody rolls upright, only to be caught beneath the jaw by a forearm from Maya. The Angelic Hellraiser slaps on a front facelock, intending on executing a vertical suplex. But Player One powers out the hold, summons ICE 2. Seeing that this isn’t Final Fantasy III nothing happens beyond Maya booting her in the stomach. From there Maya wraps her arms around Melody’s waist and swings her to the canvas with a gut wrench suplex. Another pinfall follows… ONE! TWO! Melody brings her shoulder up. COLE Jade little sisters can be annoying sometimes, but shouldn’t you as the older one take control of situation and set the example of maturity? JADE Why should I? Why should I let myself be called flat chested? Or fat? Or an uneducated hick? Just because she sold a bunch of magazines doesn’t mean I have to put up with her bunk! Melody and Maya trade punches in the center of the ring, with Melody making the sound of a lightsabre each time she throws a blow. Finally Maya has enough of the punch fest and swings behind Melody. MAYA Now, let’s observe the secret shame Chubs must live with, knowing that she’s constantly palling around with a body this good…. With one swoop of her hand, Maya shreds apart Melody's GI to reveal... “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA With a body as bad as her’s! JADE That’s it you wanna see a bad body? I’ve got a bad body! Jade stands up on the announce table, instantly worrying Molly. MOLLY Jade, you must sit down! MAYA No, go on, show us your "bad" body! JADE I'm gonna! MAYA Please do, Chubs! JADE I will! Jade pulls off her top and her skirt to showcase this... "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" COACH Oh mama have mercy! MAYA Push up! Push up! Push up! That bra is doing more pushing than a coke dealer! Jade sits back down and folds her arms, believing herself to have earned a victory over her little sister. COACH You know after that push up bra crack, you still have a lot to prove. You ought to take the whole thing off. COLE Coachman! Maya turns around and is blasted in the face by a standing yakuza kick from the bra and panties clad Melody. The Edmonton native drives Maya to the canvas with a basic body slam, and then puts herself off the ropes. She returns to flatten Maya with a her beautiful bouncing breasts! A pinfall is then counted… ONE! TWO! Maya gets the shoulder off the canvas well before the three count. Drawing on the encouragement of Molly and the fans, the Angelic Hellraiser rolls to her feet. Melody comes charging at her with the intent on flattening her with a basic body splash. But Maya counters the attack with this tactic… JADE I don’t believe her! Who does she think she is? She so stole that trick from Mom! That’s another reason mom loves me more, because I’m not trying to be a Junior Miss Krista running around stealing her stuff. Mom likes me because I’m an original that doesn't just leech off her name. Melody is mortified at having her nipples pinched and swings at Maya with a lariat! Maya ducks the attack, coming up behind her friend to nail her with an atomic drop. COLE Maya Butthurts! With the barely dressed Nerdly girl hobbled, Maya bounces off the ropes. She comes back to deliver an agile leap frog face crusher! COLE Maya delivering the gift of an iMaya! The pinfall is counted as Maya hooks onto Melody’s bare legs…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING Teenage Dream returns to the arena as the audience lets out a mighty cheer for Maya’s victory. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….MAYA DUNCAN BLANCAHRD! Maya gloats over her victory, leaning over the ropes and taunting her big sister. JADE Why don’t you come say that to my face so I can pop you in the jaw, huh? Molly looks worried, afraid she’ll have to stop another fight between the two. MAYA I would but I’m afraid your body odor might poison me! JADE Excuses, excuses! You just know I’ll beat you up like I’m going to do this Sunday! COLE Folks, we've got to take a break! Jade, please settle down! JADE She started it!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return from break with The Enterprise locker room as our scene. The whole gang is there including newcomer James Blonde. Noticeably absent, however, is Christian Wright. MONEYMAKER So they are still here is what you're all telling me? SPENCER Saw them huddled up today like some kind of mutant orgy. MONEYMAKER All of them, you say? CMJ Yeah. The dude from Brazil was there, the skinny pimp, the scary Asian guy, and the ugly Hawaiian guy. BLONDE He's Samoan *sigh* CMJ What the hell is the difference between Hawaiian and Samoan? SPENCER Are you positive you went to Harvard? CMJ Quit asking me that! SPENCER Quit saying stupid shit! MONEYMAKER Be quiet, both of you! The Kingdom has yet to wither and die I see. Resillient little roaches, are they not. I suppose that makes them more fun to squash. LORELEI And how do we intend on squashing them, Teddy? What is your master plan? MONEYMAKER A good one! Bwahahahaahah! Borrowing from the adage the enemy of my enemy is my friend I look to young Oscar Friberg, and see that he is partnerless in his six man tag against Remy Bazil and The Hellfire Club. This is very beneficial to us. CMJ Oh yeah? How? SPENCER You're dense! Do they not teach common sense at Harvard? We're going to team up with Oscar at The Bohemoth Supremacy. MONEYMAKER Right you are, Spencer. Right you are. You're going to aid Oscar in crushing the spirit and life of The Kingdom. You're going to put an end to those bothersome bores and perhaps gain us an ally in the process. LORELEI Teddy, you're brilliant. MONEYMAKER Yes, I am aware of that. BWHAHAHAHAAHAA! We cut elsewhere where Oscar Friberg is watching this on TV with MARV of the Christ Air Express. At least we think it is. He is a twin after all. MARV Teaming up with The Enterprise? What do you think of that? OSCAR Hey, help is help. They hate The Kingdom, I hate the Kingdom, its a match made in wrestling heaven. MARV But, can you even trust those guys, dude? OSCAR I'm young but I've been around. I know who's out to get me, and who isn't. These guys are out to get the Kingdom. So am I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 * DING * * DING * * DING * * DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen of the OAOAST Galaxy, it is now time for round 4 of the RIDE HER CUP! Are you ready? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Chicago, Illinois… ARE... YOU... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEADY!?! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home… LLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRREEEEEAAAADDYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! “Motherfucker of the Year” hits and golden pyro showers the stage. BUFFER Introducing the first competitor in tonight‘s FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds and currently up 2-1 in the Ride Her Cup… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The pyro stops and MD is nowhere in sight. Backstage, Malaysia looks on confused. COLE Where’s Mr. Dick? COACH I don’t think even Malaysia knows. But you saw what happened to him last week, Cole. Could you blame the guy if he was unable to go? COLE Unable or unwilling? He got annihilated. Symbolically circumcised and hanged with his own foreskin! A forfeit tonight and he’d have to face Big Papa Thrust is a win or go home elimination match this Sunday In Your Parents Basement: the Bohemoth Supremacy. “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z cues and Big Papa Thrust watches his back on the way ringside. BUFFER And his opponent, weighing 276 pounds… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BPT grabs a mic. BIG PAPA THRUST Where’s the sonuvabitch at? Don’t tell me he took his balls and went home. See, when the going got tough for the Big Bad Glutei Daddy, I got going. I came back the very next week and kicked ass. MISTER DICK (off-camera) Just like I plan to do. OAOAST cameras pan around the sold out crowd to find MD, who stands tall in the middle section. BIG PAPA THRUST Get your ass down here, boy! MISTER DICK Scoreboard, my man. 2-1. My lead. My rules. BPT throws down his mic and maneuvers through the OAOAST Galaxy as MD disappears. COLE This has trap written all over it. We follow BPT up the steps and into the concourse arena, where once again MD is nowhere to seen. Suddenly MD pokes his head out the restroom door… THE WOMEN’S RESTROOM! COACH Oh, mama! BPT enters the ladies’ room and 4 girls faint on sight. Whether that’s due to the horror of two men violating their privacy or the USDA prime hunk in front of them is unknown. In any event, MD snaps his fingers and laughs. Nothing happens. MISTER DICK MD snaps his fingers again, but still nothing. He opens the stall door and KAREEM flies right past him. COLE Somebody’s plan just blew up in their face. A second person exit’s the stall. DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW!!! COACH Oh no! Deuce’s wild! COLE After his past troubles with Mr. Dick and Kareem, the Beast from Sin City wasn’t going to sit back and let them screw over somebody else. COACH Everybody knows Quiz is the true Beast from Sin City. Deuce is just an imposter. BPT nails MD and whips him so hard against the stall it triggers a domino effect that levels the entire row! COLE What impact! COACH What shoddy construction! Kareem and Deuce resume their little battle as BPT covers MD on the fallen row of stalls. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, MD battery rams BPT with a MALE MIDGET! COACH There’s a midget in the ladies’ restroom, Cole. COLE I believe the correct term is little person. But yes, a little person was in the ladies’ restroom. COACH A male one. He probably stepped in and said maybe these dumb boards will think I’m somebody’s kid and not think twice I’m really a peeping tom. MD’s plan to stuff BPT face-first in the URINAL go awry following a shot to the gut and instead it’s he who takes the plunge complete with FLUSH! COLE Memories of college are started to coming back to me. Sad memories. MD spit’s the URINAL CAKE in the face of BPT and throws him out the front door. COACH Well that was a unique counter…of sorts. MD slams a TRASH BIN across the back of BPT and then dumps its contents onto him. MISTER DICK You’re garbage! MD grabs a fan’s beverage, TONGUES his girlfriend and blasts BPT with a giant haymaker. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Back towards ringside the action goes when BPT surprises MD with a ATOMIC DROP ON THE HANDRAIL! MISTER DICK The Real American Prick eats a clothesline, followed by a cover in the aisle way. ONE! TWO! Kickout! BPT presses MD overhead and… * SPLAT * …slams him over the ringside guardrail down onto the arena floor. COLE It’s looking more and more like we’re going to see a fifth and deciding match this Sunday on pay-per-view. COACH Wishful thinking. Mr. Dick has this one under control. BPT introduces MD to the ring apron and then tosses him inside. COACH Or rather soon will have this one under control. COLE Imagine the discussion online and on sports talk radio if Mr. Dick drops a second straight match. The talk will be about choke job. MD begs off in the corner and BPT shows no mercy. A knee to the gut is followed by calls of “WHOOOOOO” as BPT delivers a series of knife-edge chops. His chest beet red, MD is thrown across the ring by the hair and slides CROTCH-FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST! MISTER DICK COLE If Mr. Dick manages to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, he won’t be riding Malaysia tonight or anytime soon. BPT drags MD back towards mid-ring and places him in the LAY-Z-BOY! COACH What an idiot, Cole. It’s FALLS count anywhere, not an I Quit match. COLE Yeah, but if Big Papa Thrust renders Mr. Dick unconscious just as he did last week, then he’d easily be able to pin him. So who’s the idiot now? COACH We cut back to the concourse arena to find QUIZ and ABDULLAH NERDLY standing over a fallen Deuce Deuce Bigelow. The deranged holy man/music promoter unable to contain the big grin on his face. COLE What the heck happened there? COACH Pretty obvious to me. Deuce slipped on a wet spot. COLE Are you kidding me? Back in the ring, MD’s eyes nearly pop out of the socket after BPT cranks on the pressure. Luckily for him, his nightmare turns into a pleasant Wet Dream when KAREEM ambushes the Big Bad Glutei Daddy. COLE Not again damn it! COACH So much for Big Papa Thrust promising to knock the fat off Kareem. He’s the one getting knocked around. COLE Because he got blindsided. It’s how Mr. Dick and Kareem operate. BPT returns fire and clotheslines Kareem over the top rope, only to turn right into a STIFF KICK courtesy of MD! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NO!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE He kicked out! Big Papa Thrust kicked out! MD signals for Kareem to go up top as he sets BPT for THE JACKHAMMER… which BPT counters into a 69 DRIVER (Steiner Screwdriver)! BPT then launches Kareem off the top and down onto MD! COACH Oh no! COLE A not so Money Shot right there. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, he’s done it again. Typing the Ride Her Cup at 2 apiece, your winner is… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Still a bit woozy from the Stiff Kick, BPT gets caught off-guard a second time by Kareem. The Middle Eastern Wet Dream does a number on BPT until MD recovers and joins in on the fun. Together they pummel BPT to the point MD’s able to place a DOG COLLAR around his neck and then WHIP him with the REFEREE’S BELT! “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” COACH Big Papa Thrust is being whipped like a government mule. The ref tries to end the mayhem and gets punched out by MD, who continues to whip BPT until MALAYSIA angrily storms the ring, mic in hand. MALAYSIA Enough. MD refuses to stop so Malaysia pushes him back. MALAYSIA I said that’s enough! Save your energy for this Sunday because you’ve given me an idea for a OAOAST first. COACH A OAOAST first? MALAYSIA The fifth and deciding contest in the Ride Her Cup will be an I QUIT DOG COLLAR LEATHER STRAP MATCH! BPT is back on his feet and ready to go, but OAOAST officials are quick to keep the peace. COLE Oh my! Just when you think you’ve seen it all, the first ever I quit dog collar leather strap match this Sunday live on pay-per-view In Your Parents Basement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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