Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We go straight to Sofa Central where Double C sits ready and waiting to call tonight's intense action. COLE Welcome to Green Bay welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Cue:: Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me Fuck him he's a DJ All Night Long He's Got The Beat Fuck him he's a DJ Keep Playing That Song It Works For Me The turntables are out and so is Piercey D! The Result mixes the beats on the ones and twos, totally enamored with his musical skills. Standing at his side, nodding his head to the beat, as always, is James Riggs. COLE I am Michale Cole sitting beside Da Coach and we are just two weeks away from In Your Parents Basement: The Bohemoth Supremacy! But, tonight we will see match three of The Ride Her Cup as well as hear from number one contender to the world Alix Maria Spezia. And ThunderKid will face off against this man... BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty five minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Los Angeles, California, he is accompanied by JAMES RIGGS….THE RESULT PIERCE DUNCAAAAAANNNNNNNN! Pierce stops after the announcement to welcome the cheers from the sold out audience. Sadly, there are no cheers. None whatsoever. This disappoints Piercey D, but Riggs reminds him to foucs on the action and points him to the ring. COACH Your two favorite people, Mikey! COACH Oh good. Don’t even get me started on these two idiots. Pierce slides onto the ring, once again looking for the cheers from the fans. As usual there are only disgusted groans from another group of people subjected to viewing Pierce Duncan. COACH My man Piercey D and the boy J.Riggs! No Amberlyn, though. A little sad to see that. COLE I think she’s busy fawning over Tyler. Meanwhile Pierce is busy living off his big sister’s name. “God Of Thunder” comes into the arena, bringing the fans to their feet and pulling enthused cheers from their mouthes. Coming through a cloud of yellow smoke is the hometown boy ThunderKid. He pounds his fists together and nods, acknowledging the love and support shown to him from his fellow Green Bay natives. BUFFER And the opponent, from right here in Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a member of the Church of Abdullah and OAOAST Original…..THUNDERRRRR KIIIDDDDDDDDDDDD! COLE ThunderKid leaving Abdullah Abir Nerdly behind and I think that’s for the best. Abdullah has the power to turn even the friendliest crowd hostile. TK slides into the ring, heading past Piercey D. The former Heartland Champion raises his hands into the air and earns another large ovation from the fans. DING DING DING ThunderKid claps his hands together, getting his home town crowd to do the same. PEIRCE Oh wassup, bro? You trynna get the crowd on your side? Watch this! Pierce busts out a legendary FISTPUMP! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PIERCE Oh yeah, bro, I just rocked these people’s world! COLE Did he not hear the boos of every single person in the stadium? TK captures Pierce by surprise tackling him to the ground. He rolls around Pierce’s body, frustrating the twenty seven year old rookie. PIERCE Don’t mess up my hair, bro! TK does just that, popping the sold out audience. Pierce springs to his feet and looks incredulously at his foe. COLE Maybe Pierce should worry less about his hair and more about beating this OAOAST veteran of nine years. PIERCE Test of strength! Let me show you who’s the man around this town! COACH The Billabong Gorilla with some smart strategy. COLE I don’t think so. ThunderKid is a powerhouse and Pierce is built for show not for go. Indeed, TK effortlessly begins shoving Pierce to the ground. PIERCE No way! No way! Pierce calls upon all his strength to begin fighting through the hold. But TK switches to a hammer lock and brings Piercey D down to the ground. COLE Pierce being outworked and out wrestled. As usual. Just as Cole says that, Pierce spins out of TK’s hold and grabs a wristlock on his opponent. This doesn’t last long however, as TK simply muscles his way out the hold. He nails Pierce in the chest with a dropkick, and when The Result gets back to his feet he throws him over with an arm drag. Piercey D quickly scrambles to his feet, and runs to the ropes. But when he comes back, TK drops him to the canvas with a clothesline. COACH What do you got against Piercey D and J.Riggs? COLE Got an hour? Because I’ve got plenty against them! TK traps Pierce inside a shoulder lock, as Pierce begins getting to his feet. He wrenches on the hold for several moments, causing Pierce incredible pain. The Result shows some ring acumen, however, by grabbing onto TK’s hair and shoving him into the corner. This breaks the hold and Pierce takes advantage by punching TK in the face. PIERCE What now, Thunderbro? What now? What now is that TK throws Pierce into the corner and begins unleashing a torrent of punches into his face. After that, he shoots him into the opposite corner. TK follows him up with a stinger splash. But Pierce slides out the way, and TK tumbles over the turnbuckle all the way to the outside. “OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Pierce starts to set up for a big fistpump, but is implored to stay on TK by Riggs. Pierce listens to the advice of his experienced partner, and heads out the ring. Pierce grabs TK and lifts him into the air in a gorilla press. After holding him aloft for several seconds, he drops him back face first on the ground. PIERCE Wassup now, Green Bay? Who’s doing it b-i-g style? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE And The Result showing some good sense for once by not fistpumping and instead press slamming ThunderKid. Pierce rolls back into the ring to continue to taunt ThunderKid’s hometown audience. Much to his amazement, TK quickly follows him back inside. An outraged Pierce runs over to begin stomping him in the back. He then scoops up TK and effortlessly body slams OUT THE RING! COACH Whoa! PIERCE (mimicking shooting a machine gun) Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat! COLE What is he doing?! Riggs helps his partner out by kicking TK several times in the ribs. After getting warned by referee Charles Robinson, Riggs pushes TK back into the ring. COLE Personally, I think Riggs should have been kicked out of ringside for that, or maybe Pierce should have gotten a DQ. COACH Of course you think that, you hate these two! COLE With good reason. TK comes to his feet under his own power to begin to throw right hands at Pierce. The Result takes these blows in stride and swiftly kicks TK in the knee. This hobbles TK, and Piercey D is able throw him through the ropes back to the outside. COLE For whatever reason Pierce wants to keep putting ThunderKid on the outside. Doesn’t he realize you win the match in the ring, or is he too dense to know that? The Billabong Gorilla exits through the middle rope, and drops down off the apron to fetch TK. He lifts him onto his shoulder, then drives TK’s own shoulder onto his knee for a shoulder breaker. COACH A shoulder breaker on the outside. Everything looks more dangerous on the outside. Pierce rolls back into the ring and distracts Robinson, allowing Riggs to ram stomp after stomp into TK’s shoulder. COACH I know ThunderKid wanted to fight this match on his own in his hometown, but he should’ve at least dragged one of The Church of Abdullah to ringside with him. Riggs picks TK up by the seat of his biker shorts and throws him into the squared circle. Piercey D seizes the moment and delivers stomps of his own to his opponent. TK climbs to his feet, fighting through the parade of kicks. This does him little good, however, as Pierce rams his shoulder into the turnbuckle. From there Pierce snapmares TK to the center of the ring, and then unleashes a series of kicks to the back. This is enough to warrant a mighty FISTPUMP! “PIERCEY D SUCKS! PIERCEY D SUCKS! PIERCEY D SUCKS!” The fans aren’t enamored with Pierce’s styling and neither is TK, who angrily gets to his feet. He stands with his hands on his hips and with a scowl on his face as Pierce continues to fistpump. RIGGS Turn around! Pierce follows his partner’s comment, and is swiftly nailed in the face by a hard punch! With Pierce dazed, TK grabs onto his heavily gelled hair and lowers his head so that he may proceed to bash him in the face with knees. PIERCE Ow! Not the face! Not the face! Pierce is dropped to his knees, and quickly shields his face from further strikes. This does not matter much to TK who simply kicks him in the back of the head. COLE He almost took Pierce’s head off! TK drapes his shoulder over Pierce’s chest for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE That was actually the first pinfall of the match and it was almost the last. Back in control of the contest, TK attempts an Irish whip. But Piercey D reverses the attack into a short arm knee to the gut. He goes onto hit the Lightening Spiral, immediately worrying the sold out audience. At Riggs’ suggestion, Pierce makes a quick cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! TK WITH THE KICKOUT! “THUNDER-KID! THUNDER-KID! THUNDER-KID! PIERCE (to the referee) Bro, are you for real? Pierce angrily stomps across the ring, fuming over the failed pinfall. Eventually he puts his grievances aside to pick up TK and hit him with a trio of clubbing forearms. Pierce then runs to the ropes, thinking he can hit TK with a running knee on his return. But TK springs to life, and strikes Pierce square in the nose with a bicycle kick! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Piercey D rolls to his feet, fretting over a broken nose and begging off from TK. The hometown hero will have none of this and runs through The Result with a lariat. Pierce comes back upright, and is nailed with a running back elbow. The Result tries to once again beg for his life as he stands up. This only gets him spiked into the canvas by a DDT! The cover is then made… ONE! TWO! Pierce brings his shoulder up to prolong the match! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Pierce brings himself to a vertical position, and staggers toward the corner while continuing to plead for a reprieve. Unwilling to give it, TK runs after him. But Pierce catches him with a boot to the gut. He works to lift TK into a back suplex position, before throwing him out into a facebuster! COACH CHA-CHING! COLE That may do it. Pierce and Riggs certainly hope so, as The Result goes for the cover…. ONE! TWO! TK makes a last second kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierce brings TK upright, setting up for his version of the lifting downward spiral. But TK easily elbows his way out the hold. He nails Pierce with a swift body blow, in order to trap him inside a double underhook. But the powerful juicehead muscles out the hold. He ducks a lariat, and then catches TK into a backslide pin attempt…. ONE! TWO! TK rolls through the pin. Both men come to their feet at the same moment, but its TK who strikes first with a Thunderbolt DDT! The fans emit a massive cheer for his finisher, and Riggs panics on the outside over the finisher. A pivotal is made…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience cheer as God Of Thunder blasts its way into the arena. BUFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…..THUNDERKID! TK is all smiles as he exits the ring to celebrate with his fellow Green Bay natives. COLE ThunderKid coming back to his hometown and defeating The Result Pierce Duncan. And I can’t say that I’m surprised. Piercey D is NOT Krista. He’s not even Amberlyn! TK continues to revel in the cheers and adulation of the crowd, enjoying his moment in the spotlight.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT RIDE HER CUP MATCH THREEBIG PAPA THRUST VS MISTER DICKTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage, Tony Brannigan is joined by Big Papa Thrust, who tapes his fists. BRANNIGAN Later tonight it’s round 3 of the Ride Her Cup. Following two controversial matches my guest at this time finds himself facing elimination. BIG PAPA THRUST Do I look like a math major to you? Unless it’s the amount I bench or the number of freakizoids who have gotten the thrust of it, numbers don’t concern me. But let me tell you who oughta be concerned -- that stupid sonuvabitch Mr. Dick. You didn’t embarrass me last week, boy… you PISSED me off! That fatty-fat-fat-fatty BUTT buddy of yours too. If he thinks about showing up ringside again, he’ll waddle down the aisle near 500 pounds but leave weighing 50 after I knock all the fat off him. But enough about the Wet Dream only a mother could love. Just hearing his name spikes my blood sugar level. Tonight Mr. Dick, you're gonna be circumcised and then strangled with your own foreskin! BPT exit’s the picture as we cut to Mr. Dick arriving at the arena beaming confidence. COACH Circumcision? A fate worse than death for Mr. Dick. COLE Round 3 of the Ride Her Cup live tonight on HeldDOWN~! COACH Get the brooms out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring to my left, from America’s Dairyland… THE MILKMAN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Milkman tosses milk cartons into the crowd as "Arab Money Instrumental" hits. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanied by ABDULLAH NERDLY… from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing 277 pounds... QUUUUIIIIZZZZZZZZ!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Abdullah points Quiz to the ring and the big man charges full speed ahead. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds as Quiz immediately brutalizes the Milkman in the corner with back elbows to the head and knees to the midsection. COACH Quiz must’ve ate his Wheaties today because he’s fighting like a champ. COLE Too bad he’s another superstar who drinks Abdullah’s Kool-Aid. Quiz shoots the Milkman in and levels him with a big boot. A running power bomb follows and then the cover. COLE Pop Quiz! And that should be all. ONE! TWO! THEEE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… QUUUUIIIIZZZZZZZZ!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Abdullah yanks the mic from Buffer. ABDULLAH The true Beast from Sin City! Praise be! Quiz drives home the point by giving the Milkman a second running power bomb. COLE Leave the poor guy alone. You already won the match, damn it. The timekeeper rings the bell repeatedly as Quiz positions the Milkman for a third power bomb, which he never executes thanks to a running clothesline courtesy of DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Abdullah pulls Quiz to safety and the two seek higher ground. COACH What back alley did this guy come from? COLE Deuce’s wild after a two week hiatus. Deuce grabs a mic. DEUCE Hey! Where you goin’? I came to take the quiz. Let’s find out who’s the real Beast in the OAOAST. QUIZ Abdullah does his best to calm Quiz. DEUCE I guess now isn’t a good time, huh? Then I say we settle this In Your Parents Basement! COLE Oh my! Deuce vs. Quiz, In Your Parents Basement? COACH The Bohemoth Supremacy. Get it right, Cole. COLE If that match is officially signed, we’ll definitely learn who’s the real Beast from Sin City. COACH What’s the point? We already know the answer to that. COLE Yeah, Deuce. After all, Quiz is Canadian. COACH Who does a lot of work in Sin City being the head of band security for the Heavenly Rockers, I might add. COLE You're watching the longest running episodic action adventure dramaedy series in television history!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Backstage in the Kingdom locker room Queen Esther sets proudly on her throne. At her sides are the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and her royal stylist Sophie. Also present is OAOAST whipping boy, Terry Taylor. TERRY I’m backstage in the throne room of King Landon Maddix and Queen Esther with the queen herself. Don’t you think its high time you all turned this stuff over now that there's a new king in town? SOUL Turned it over? Whatchu saying, fool? TERRY Its too late to take it back to the prop shop, but I bet you could sell it for a pretty penny at a pawn shop, or maybe even on ebay. I bet Melody could help you with that. She got one of my used candy cane patterened thongs to go for fifty bucks! Amazing what that girl can do. SOPHIE Feremez la bouche! Do you or do you not have a question for my queen? TERRY Oh, I do. Queen Esther, the challenge has been laid out by Oscar Friberg for a two on one handicap match against the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Do you accept? QUEEN ESTHER My nights are as proud as they are noble and beautiful! TERRY Beautiful? QUEEN ESTHER That is what I said. When that corrupt peasant Oscar Friberg violently raped this kingdom and its women- TERRY Raped? QUEEN ESTHER Again, that is what I said. When he raped them like a savage, my knights knew they must answer the call of duty and fight for kingdom and country! But, its not just my knights that are prepared for battle. My animal friends are as well. TERRY Your what? QUEEN ESTHER My animal friends, good man. Father squirrel and cousin beaver have been hard at work with the rest of woodland creatures in devising a battle plan against this devil child. I must say its rather ingenious. They’ve even gotten the gnomes to come out from their tree houses and lend in a hand. Quite a feet, considering how reclusive the gnomes are since the proliferation of the fairies in the forest land. On that note, I am sad to note that the fairy kingdom will not be battling at our side at In Your Parents Basement, but even still we will muster a mighty army! ALFDOGG (OS) Perhaps a little too mighty? RICO Hey, mang, what do you want? Make it snappy, pappy, or else you’re gonna take a mustache ride on out of here. ALFDOGG I think your army is just a bit too strong for one man. After all, how can Oscar hope to compete with Rico, Lucius AND father squirell, a legend in his own right. QUEEN ESTHER That is the point! We must crush the peasant rebellion before others of his ilk get any ideas! ALFDOGG I can’t send Oscar all alone out there, to face that kind of force. That just wouldn’t be very fair of me. That’s why I’m changing this match to a six person tag, Oscar and two partners versus The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and a partner. QUEEN ESTHER That’s hardly fair, the gnomes are two short to properly reach the ring, and my animal friends aren’t sanctioned by the kingdom’s athletic committee! Surprising everyone, Remy Bazil slides into the room. REMY Excuse me, cher, I couldn’t help but over hearin’ you need a partnah for next Sunday…..Oh excuse me, where are my manners? Remy kisses Queen Esther in the hand. REMY Remy Bazil, jack of all trades. QUEEN ESTHER Why yes I do need a partner in combat. REMY Please, allow me to assist you in any way that I can, chere. QUEEN ESTHER You’ll help us? You’ll crush the rapist Oscar Friberg? REMY I’ll do it with style, chere. With style. QUEEN ESTHER Then it is settled! We have found our ally in this pivotal battle. Onward to victory! Alfdogg and Terry stare at each other with stupefied expressions as we exit the Kingdom throne room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 COLE Folks, as you know this month’s In Your Parents Basement pay per view event will feature Bohemoth defending his world heavyweight championship against former world champion Alix Maria Spezia. We caught up with a few superstars to get their read on the big title match. HOLLY Why should I give a flipping (beep) who wins? And even if I did give a flipping (beep), why the (beep) would I tell you? (beep) you for asking this bull(beep) question to me! Go choke on a glass (beep), (beep) sucker! BOSLEY There’s only one Alpha Male in the OAOAST and that’s me. But if I were to die in a blaze of gunfire, or maybe have a heart attack during sex with a supermodel someone would have to take my place and rule over these dickless chumps. And if my man CPA can’t do it, Bohemoth is up to the task! That dude is all alpha, everything about him screams I AM THE MAN AND SCREW YOU IF YOU DON’T REALIZE IT! He’s gonna beat Alix bad. CASH It should be a fantastic match. I’m looking forward to it. But, I hope and think that Alix will pull out the victory. She’s a sweet and kind hearted young lady and that’s who should be representing this company. CPA Bohemoth. CAMERAMAN Could you….elaborate? CPA Bohemoth. CAMERMAN …Ok.http://chuvachienes.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/milo_ventimiglia21.jpg MORGAN I….I…hope Ali…. (looks over at scowling Leon) …I don’t care who wins. LEON Neither do I. So get your camera out my area and leave me in peace. That include you two, Morgan. MORGAN Me? LEON I said leave me alone. MELISSA Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes! It should be a fight for the ages. Bohemoth is white but he can fight. He brings a level of ostentatious pugilism to unpredictable heights. He is the man of the OAOAST clan, loathed by every fan. But he is an unstoppable force! He hits like a jack hammer and moves like a current, and Alix Maria Spezia will be no deterrent! MARIACHI Alix is Mexican! She win match! Yes? FREEDOM Actually Alix is an American of Mexican descent. She’s American first, Mexican way SECOND. SPENCER I’ve been in the ring with both competitors. I know the damage they can do to your body. Bohemoth is a shark, and Alix is a dolphin. But what people don’t know about dolphins is that they can be very, very, deadly when pushed to far. CMJ What are ya, fhacking Animal Planet now? SPENCER What? I’m making a metaphor. You know what a metaphor is, right? CMJ Of course I know. I went to Harvard! SPENCER Sometimes I wonder if that’s really true. I’ve never seen a diploma and you act like you have a head full of rocks! BIFFMAN Righteous justice and mighty right will prevail at the Bohemoth supremacy. My good friend Alix Maria Spezia will bring back the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship to the side of good.NEXT SUNDAY LIVE ON PAY PER VIEWCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 We return from break to an arena bathed in gold, red, and purple lights. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN and joining us at ringside, we're very happy to have Maya Duncan-Blanchard with us. Maya, how are you? MAYA I'm the same as I always am, fabulous! COLE Well, thank you for joining us and hopefully you'll be on your best behaviour. MAYA Don't count on it. COLE ...uh oh. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... MMMOOOOOOLLLLYYYYYYYY NNEEEEEERRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Molly politely waves to the crowd and to Maya, who gives her pal a big thumbs up."Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" MAYA Speaking of fabulous. Oh, wait, did I say fabulous? I meant flabulous. COACH Are we gonna get in trouble for this? COLE I hope not. Skipping out to the ring, the Women's Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan seems in a great mood. Until she notices Maya at the announce table, about halfway to the ring. Jade scowls past the ring at Maya, who scowls back in kind. BUFFER And her opponent. Accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! Now residing in Los Angeles, California! She is the reigning OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJAAAAAAADDEEEEE RRROOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jade slides in and puts Maya to the back of her mind, climbing the turnbuckles and saluting the crowd to try and make herself feel better. COLE Well, things are getting a little frictious between the Duncan sisters. And now, coming up at The Bohemoth Supremacy, it's going to be first time ever, sisters opposite each other, you teaming with Molly to take on Jade and Melody. Don't you think this has gone a little too far, Maya? MAYA Oh, it's just getting started, trust me. You mess with me, you better be ready to go all the way with it. Because if not, I'm gonna make you regret ever speaking bad about me. *DINGDINGDING* With no actual animosity between them, Jade and Molly try to start things off on the right foot with a handshake. MAYA NO NO NO! Don't shake her hand! It's probably covered in syrup, or fried chicken grease. A bit distracted by Maya, Molly doesn't seem quite sure what to do. Eventually, Jade realises the handshake isn't going to happen and gives up on the idea. Instead, they circle around the ring and lock up. Jade grabs a side headlock and cranks it in. MAYA Right, let me tell you all some real talk about Jade, shall I? COACH Yeah, go ahead! COLE Coach! COACH Oh, I mean, uhh, no, don't do that! That wouldn't be moral, et cetera. Jade hangs onto the headlock but seems distracted by what Maya might be saying about her behind her back, allowing Molly to fight back. She delivers some shots to the ribs, softening the hold. Molly then shoves Jade into the ropes. Jade comes back with a shoulder tackle, knocking Molly down. Off the ropes, the Women's Champion delivers a second big knockdown. MAYA There's Jade, using her weight. Big surprise. Coming off the ropes again, Jade gets caught this time, with a hiptoss. MAYA (jumping out of her seat) ALRIGHT, YEAH! WHOOO! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! RIGHT THERE! Both Molly and Jade are distracted by the scene at the announce table for a moment. Snapping out of their trance, they quickly lock up again and end up tussling into a corner. Jade gives a clean break and backs away. Once the rules are obeyed, Molly suddenly bursts forward and surprises Jade with a go behind, then takes her to the mat with a hammerlock. COACH So, about this 'real talk'... COLE Coach! I really think we should leave all the personal stuff at home, where it belongs, Maya. MAYA Oh, totally agree. I mean, I'd hate everyone in the world to know about Jade crying at the end of Harry Potter. Not even the movie either, the book. She cried at a book. COLE ...I'm not sure what's weird about that, but let's move on. Jade is able to get to her feet and turns things around, manouevering back into a side headlock. Molly manages to back Jade into the ropes and forces another clean break. MAYA NOW! KICK HER IN THE PANTS! MOLLY Uhm... MAYA DO IT! Peer pressure takes over and Molly kicks Jade in the BUTT! JADE Molly tries to apologise for her spur of the moment action, but Jade flings her into the ropes by the arm and knocks her down with a back elbow to the jaw! Melody looks on concerned, as Jade presses after Molly, stomping her towards the ropes. COLE This is why I believe this has gone too far, Maya. It's one thing for you and your sister to be fighting. But now, your friends are being dragged into this and being made to pick favourites. MAYA Yeah, well, they better pick me then, because then they'll be on the winning team. Get with The Maya Brand. Jade picks Molly up and gives her a snap suplex. Following up with an elbow drop, Jade goes for the first cover of the match... 1... 2... No! As Molly gets up, Jade resorts to some fire power and hits Molly with a forearm smash. And a second one. From the outside, Melody urges her friend to ease up on her sister and Jade seems to see the error of her ways, leaving the strikes alone. Instead she whips Molly to the ropes. Putting her head down, Jade makes a mistake though and Molly punishes her with a DDT! COLE Nice move by Moll... MAYA You know, how DARE Jade say that my Dad doesn't love me? What right does she have to say those kind of things to me? COLE I... are you actually asking me? MAYA Oh. Are you still here? Sorry. Answer if you want, I don't mind. Molly backs Jade into a corner and returns some fire by hitting a forearm. Whipping her across the ring, Molly prepares to hit Jade with a Box Office Bust... but Jade steps out of the way! Molly hits the turnbuckles and falls back into a schoolgirl rollup! 1... 2... NO! Hopping up onto the ropes, Jade gets distracted again for a second. But she shrugs it off in time to get a foot up, kicking Molly away. From the middle rope, Jade then takes her opponent down with a Victory Roll!! 1... 2... NO! Both girls get up and it's Jade who strikes first, with a front dropkick that catches Molly right in the breadbasket. MAYA All together now. "BOOOORR - RRIIIIING!" "BOOOORR - RRIIIIING!" "BOOOORR - RRIIIIING!" Jade hears the chants from the ring and is flustered by them. Trying to shut Maya up, she whips Molly into the corner and charges in with both knees up... but hits nothing but the turnbuckles, as Molly sidesteps! MAYA Clumsy. Flat footed. The elegance of an elderly hippo. All good ways to describe Jade's style of running. With the Women's Champion hobbled Molly performs a simple leg sweep and tries to surprise her, crossing up the legs and floating over with a jacknife pin. COLE Molly putting Jade on the Cutting Room Floor! 1... 2... NO!! Scrambling to her feet, Jade manages to dodge Molly and catch her as she turns around with a clothesline! MAYA You know what, maybe Jade's just jealous of how awesome my Dad is. That must be it. I mean, it's not like she ever knew what it was like to be loved by her parents. COLE Now come on, that's uncalled for. MAYA ...yeah, I kinda gave myself douchechills with that. Too far. Sorry. I'll just stick to the fat jokes from now on. COLE Please do. NO, wait, I mean... Setting Molly up, Jade hits her with a DDT of her own and goes for a pin... 1... 2... NO! MAYA Excuse me for a second. As Jade picks Molly up again, Maya drops her headset and reaches under the desk. Jade sets Molly up in a cobra clutch. But her eye is suddenly caught by Maya, stood up on the sofa, holding a sign reading "YOU HAVE ARMPIT SWEAT". Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden, Jade forgets what she was about to do and Molly capitalises by dropping to her knees, catching Jade's jaw on her shoulder! COLE Ooh! COACH I guess Molly couldn't take the smell anymore. COLE Please stop encouraging her. Jade stumbles around dazed. Hitting the ropes, Molly hits her with a Swinging Neckbreaker, an ode to Simon Singleton and hooks the leg... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE This would be a big upset if Molly can beat the Women's Champion. Even with Maya doing her best to put her off. On the way back up, Molly tries to hook Jade's arms. Jade drops to one knee and goes dead weight so Molly can't lift her. Giving up on that quickly, Molly turns and hits the ropes again. Which proves a mistake, as Jade catches her coming back with a jumping kick to the face!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE The E!ziguri! MAYA Like E! would ever put Jade on their TV shows. She couldn't get on TMZ if she took a whizz in the street, that's how much appeal she has. Jade quickly follows up, turning her back to Maya and MOONING her (sort of) before hitting a big legdrop! MAYA Ach! I think I just went blind! 1... 2... NO! Jade is right back up, but still more concerned with Maya. And the two sisters soon get into a shouting match (thankfully off microphone), which allows Molly to roll Jade up!! 1... 2... NO!! As Maya urges Molly to bash Jade in the nose, her friend tries a more measured approach and attempts a slam. Jade floats over the back, before attempting a slam of her own. However, Molly makes the same escape and hooks Jade by the head, for the FINAL CUT... ...NO! Jade manages to avoid the cut and counter with the reverse x-factor out of nowhere!! COLE Got It From My Momma! MAYA She got it from MY Momma! She's a thief! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JADE RODEZ - DDUUUUUUNNCCAAAAANN!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Melody slides in to try and congratulate Jade. But Jade can't help herself and decides to rub her victory in Maya's face, in uncharacteristically un-sports(wo)man like fashion. Jade's celebrations cause Maya to jump in the ring. And the sisters go face to face... before very quickly going to the mat with handfuls of each other's hair!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* COLE Oh no! This isn't good! The Duncan sisters scratch and claw at each other like... well, two sisters fighting. Melody does her best to try and separate them, without too much luck. As they continue to roll around on the mat, a groggy Molly tries to help out as well. COLE This sibling rivalry is getting out of control! COACH It's getting good if you ask me! Finally, Melody and Molly are able to get a hold of their friends and pull Jade and Maya apart. Maya backs off and insists she's "cool", calming herself down... ...until the moment Molly relaxes and nurses her sore head again, at which point Maya takes advantage of her friend's pain by dodging past her and tackling Jade again!! *DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* COACH I'm going to have to go in there and help. COLE This has nothing to do with you. COACH It does if Krista watches this and sees us sitting her on our asses letting this happen! COLE ...good point. You grab Maya, I'll grab Jade. Luckily for Double C, their intervention is not required as Maya and Jade are separated again. Melody manages to drag Jade kicking and clawing out of the ring and drag her towards the back, as Molly holds down the raging Maya. COLE I dread to think what's going to happen next week, when Jade and Maya are on opposite sides of the ring, in official competiton. This is getting ugly. And it's only going to get uglier! But for right now, the "aunt" of these two girls Alix Maria Spezia is standing backstage with Maggie Nerdly. Maggie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 In the lavish and luxurious interview lounge....MAGGIE NERDLY is stood by with….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA MAGGIE What up ya’ll, Maggie Nerdly “It” Girl on the scene chilling in the interview lounge with Alix Maria Spezia. Crazy scene out there, huh? ALIX I'll say! The mastabatory possibilities a Jade/Maya fight brings are endless! Not that I would ever pleasure myself to such a thing! Krista would carve out my ovaries if I dared to. But you should feel free to whip out the pleasure stick and get to work over such beautiful girls fighting each other. MAGGIE Um....yeah maybe later. Alix, that was way cool when you burned Bohemoth’s stuff last week. ALIX For real! And the Bohemoth brand postcards tasted the best of everything. MAGGIE ….You ate the stuff? ALIX Duh! I mean I wasn’t just burning it to humliate, anger, and otherwise infuriate a man three times my size. I was also doing it to get a tasty snack for my low carb diet. MAGGIE That’s…um….strange, even for you. ALIX Thanks! MAGGIE So huge match coming up at In Your Parents Basement! ALIX Oh my god, they finally booked the All American Boys against the ghosts of Osama Bin Laden and Sadam Hussien? MAGGIE Nope. I was talking about you against Bohemoth. ALIX Oh, yeah, I guess you could call that big. MAGGIE Now what makes you the gal to beat Bohemoth? ALIX Well, I rescued Elizabeth Swan from the cursed crew of the Black Pearl, captained by Hector Barbossa. MAGGIE I think that was Captain Jack Sparrow. ALIX Okay, check this, I joined with Venkman, Stantz, and Steadmore to cross the streams and destroy Gozer and the Marshmallow Man. MAGGIE That was Egon Spangler. ALIX Well, how about, I lead a team of spunky rag tag underdog girl scouts from Beverly Hills to the wildnerness girls championship against their uptight and cruel rivals from Culver City. MAGGIE That was Shelly Long in Troop Beverly Hills. ALIX Well, what the hell have I done? MAGGIE You’ve won a world championship, an Anderson Cup, a United States title, and six tag team championships! ALIX Oh yeah! I think that makes me the gal to totally strip Bo of the title he stole from Krista. He gave ten B-Trayals to Krista? Maybe, I’ll give him ten Confessions of a Kristaholic. Or maybe I’ll sing that awful Pittbull and Ne-Yo time to him ten times. Or maybe I’ll sing it and give him ten Confessions and really increase the torture. No one hurts my girlfriend, unless its me during one of our carefully scripted roleplays. She thinks she’s audtioning for a Scorcesse movie the way she plays the bad secretary. I get so mad when she does one of her monolouges, that when my fingers get into her rectum I just go crazy! Anyway Bo thinks he’s so big and so bad. Well, Bo, let’s see how big and bad you are, when I deliver a Confessions of a Kristaholic and pin you to the mat one two three and take your world title? Most likely, you’ll be crying like a wee wittle baby that pooped his diaper and needs changing. Well, I’m not gonna change it! You’re just going to have sit in it and be stinky while I parade around the ring with my world title! And you know what else, I’m dedicating this match to Krista. She said if anyone ever dedicated anything related to professional wrestling to her she’d take a pick axe to their skull. But I’m willing to risk my health to show my girlfriend I love her and that I’m gonna win the world title just for her! MAGGIE Cool. Thanks Alix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 COLE Thanks for that, Maggie. Folks, our camera caught a hell of a scene in the Everglades this past Tuesday. Here’s a look. Our cameras find Odin at this miserable looking shack. ODIN This is the dwelling of Badass Jack. Look at the filth and squalor this brute lives under. Over grown with weeds, buzzing with inscets, littered with garbage such as empty beer bottles. This is a man I am to fear? I am supposed to be to intimidate by this man to even move? I feel no such way! All I feel is pity that any mortal would live in such a rancid wreck as this. Odin gestures to the shack behind him. ODIN But don’t mistake that pity for weakness, and don’t believe that weakness will lead to inaction. Badass Jack has made an enemy out of me. For that, he must perish, and he must perish at the hands of myself The God of War! I am not here to kill Badass Jack, I am not even here to hurt him, I am here to inform him that soon his day will come, his time will be at hand, and suffering will be all he shall know. He will…What in the devil’s name? Odin turns around to find Alexander The Brutal striding up the walkway. ALEXANDER Step aside. ODIN Step aside? Who in the name of Loki do you think you are? ALEXANDER I am Alexander The Brutal. ODIN That much is known to me, mortal! Now allow me to pose a different query, why have you traveled to this location? ALEXANDER I’ve come for Badass Jack. ODIN That is unfortunate, for I have come for Badass Jack, and I am The God Of War and my wishes and wants are placed above all else. ALEXANDER Perhaps that may be. But, I have come to fight Badass Jack. I will do so, even if it means I must fight you first. ODIN You are a fool! You think to challenge me once more? After the sound beating I delivered to your mortal form? ALEXANDER If that’s what it takes to get to Badass Jack. ODIN Then let us duel! Alexander and Badass Jack square off. They stare each other down with fury and fire in their eyes.BANG! Both men turn their attention to the shack with a clam that is not normal for two men who’ve just heard a gun shot. Standing in front of the door is Badass Jack, holding a rifle. BADASS JACK You boys picked the wrong house to trick or treat at. ODIN How dare you attack a god with such a feeble weapon? BADASS JACK I didn’t attack you. I threatened you. If I attacked you, you’d be dead. ODIN You could never kill me! BADASS JACK Don’t tempt me, bub, because I’ve got a lot of bullets and all the time in the world. ALEXANDER Badass Jack! Put down that gun, and face me like a man! BADASS JACK Bub, you’re in no position to make demands. ALEXANDER Then you are nothing but a coward! BADASS JACK Did you just call me a coward? ALEXANDER I called you what you are. Badass Jack lays down his rifle behind him as Odin and Alexander look on with anticipatory gazes. Jack cracks his knuckles and his neck, while a small smile creeps onto his face. BADASS JACK Coward? I’m about to have you both running for the hills. Badass Jack emits a mighty war cry as he streams down towards Odin and Alexander. The two men charge at Badass Jack, and at that point the feed cuts out. COLE Folks, that’s all we have- COACH Folks, that’s all we have? Nigga, this ain’t some two bit indy in Biloxi this is the biggest parody fed in the world and you’re trying to tell me they didn’t bring enough tape? COLE That’s exactly what I’m saying. Alexander, Odin, and Jack are not here tonight, and neither man has made any comment on the situation. What we do know is that Badass Jack will be facing Odin at In Your Parents Basement: The Bohemoth Supremacy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 Upset at having watched a replay of Jade and Maya's fight, a downbeat looking Shayne Brave retreats back into his locker room, with a sigh. SHAYNE Dude, did you see what just happened out there. This is bad, we're gonna have to do somethi... Coming to a sudden and abrupt halt, Shayne freezes as he walks in on Tyler Bryant... and AMBERLYN DUNCAN, fooling around in what was the privacy of the locker room. A shirtless Tyler quickly tries to cover up and protect some sort of modesty. Something which doesn't seem to bother Amberlyn, who despite being down to her bra barely even flinches. SHAYNE Seriously!? TYLER Dude, I can explain... AMBERLYN But, it's probably better if I do it. We were screwing around. Just like we've been screwing every chance we get for the past week. You don't mind, do you? Taken aback at both Amberlyn's brazenness and being asked in the first place, Shayne stutters. SHAYNE Uhh... I guess not? AMBERLYN Great! Now, can you turn around and walk back out, so we can finish where we left off? Give us about, oh, I don't know, twenty minutes? Not sure how to respond to this, Shayne merely does as he's told and leaves. The sound of Amberlyn, presumably, jumping Tyler is faint in the background, as a shell-shocked Shayne stares off into the distance. SHAYNE ...dude.COMING UP NEXT RIDE HER CUP MATCH THREEBIG PAPA THRUST VS MISTER DICKTHE MAINEVENT IS NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2013 * DING * * DING * * DING * * DING * BUFFER The following RIDE HER CUP bout is a COME AS YOU ARE STREET FIGHT! Are you ready? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Green Bay, Wisconsin, home of the Super Bowl champion Packers… ARE... YOU... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEADY!?! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home… LLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRREEEEEAAAADDYYYYY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! “Motherfucker of the Year” hits and Mr. Dick is showered with golden pyro. BUFFER Introducing first, the Real American Prick looking to complete a 3-0 sweep… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dressed in jeans and his brand new “cocksucker” t-shirt, MD poses for the folks. Backstage, Malaysia watches on a monitor just as she has the past couple of weeks. COACH Look at her, Cole. Malaysia’s getting turned on already. COLE Will Mr. Dick be riding the ultimate combination of beauty and beat downs later tonight, or can Big Papa Thrust avoid elimination? COACH Yes and no. “Big Pimpin’” by Jay-Z cues and Big Papa Thrust storms down the aisle. BUFFER And his opponent, weighing 276 pounds… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BPT climbs onto the apron and immediately is shoved down by MD. Again. And again. COLE Mr. Dick won’t let Big Papa Thrust in the ring. COACH Talk about a mind fuck. Eventually BPT finds a way in and MD quickly bails. A chase ensues around ringside until MD dives back in the ring and puts the boots to BPT. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Brains over brawn, Cole. A time tested formula. Right jabs rock BPT against the ropes, but he reverses a whip and connects-- NO! MD ducks a clothesline, leapfrogs BPT on the rebound and charges into a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! COLE Mr. Dick just took a round trip around the world free of charge. BPT follows up with a double underhook power bomb into a CATAPULT! COACH Incoming! MD’s face eats turnbuckle and then his body meets canvas courtesy of a press slam. COLE The 5 folks with 3-D televisions got one heck of a up close and personal look at the Real American Prick moments ago. COACH We broadcast in 3-D?! BPT sets MD for a top rope Samoan drop, but MD slips out and delivers a middle rope back suplex! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BPT rolls outside and gets whipped into the guardrail. COACH That’s what he gets for trying to run like a coward. COLE Give me a break. MD chokes BPT with a TV cable and then rams him face-first into the steel steps. COACH I bet that doesn’t taste like chicken. COLE Flesh met steel and steel won again. MD grabs a fan’s beverage only to have BPT kick it back in his face! BPT then executes a release German suplex that sends MD hard against the side of the steel steps! COACH DAYUM~! The action returns inside where BPT removes MD’s BELT and HANGS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! COLE This must be symbolic of Big Papa Thrust’s vow to circumcise Mr. Dick and then strangle him with his own foreskin. COACH This is criminal, Cole. COLE It’s no DQ. Backstage, Malaysia rubs her chest while her other hand is out of camera’s view. She begins to quiver as MD struggles to escape and ultimately is rendered unconscious by BPT. * DINGDINGDING * BPT drops MD like a bad habit as Malaysia cracks a backstage. BUFFER Here is your winner… BIG PAPPPAAAA THRUST!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Big Papa Thrust lives to… COACH Die. COLE …fight another week picking up his first win in the Ride Her Cup, although Mr. Dick still leads 2-1. Round 4 of the Ride Her Cup to be announced on OAOAST.com~!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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