Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-~WELCOME TO MEXICO CITY~ We cut to the arena where Double C sit wearing sombreros. Tiny Mexican flags litter the desk. COLE Hello and welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN live from Mexico City! I am Michael Cole sitting alongside Da Coach and we are pysched for the 2011 King Of The Ring tournament!***2011 KING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT**** James Blonde v. Nathaniel Black Kareem v. Deuce Deuce BigelowLeon Rodez v. Ned Blanchard Theodore Moneymaker v. Oscar Friberg COACH Leon Rodez, Theodore Moneymaker, Nathaniel Black, this tournament is going to be amazing! COLE But we kick things off with a big match between tag team contender and tag team champion!Here's the situation Been to every nation Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do You know my motivation Given my reputation Please excuse I don't mean to be rude But tonight I'm fucking you Tearing it up at the turn tables, Pierce Duncan parties his wat out onto the stage and throws up a fistpump for the crowd. The Mexican fans aren't quite sure what to make of all of this and boo the strange foreigner and his strange antics. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by JAMES RIGGS and AMBERLYN DUNCAN! From Los Angeles, California... weighing in at two hundred and twenty three pounds... "THE RESULT" PPIIIIIIEEEEEEEERRRRRCCCEEEEEEEEE... DDUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Coming up in just about two weeks, at The Great Angle Bash, Pierce and Riggs challenge for the World Tag Team Championship against D*LUX. And tonight presents an opportunity for both teams to gain some momentum heading into San Antonio, with singles action between champion and challenger. Pierce parties it up, with Amberlyn and Riggs routing him on.WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. Much more enthralled by the champions, the Mexican crowd whoop and holler and whistle in excitement as D*LUX hit the stage. With Jade at their side, the champions, in Mexican green denim, fire up the crowd and head to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent! Accompanied by TYLER BRYANT and JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN! Hailing from Detroit, Michigan and weighing one hundred, eighty three pounds... he is one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SSHHHHHAAAAAAYYYYYNNEEEEEEE... BBRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Pierce and Riggs have been on a bit of a mini roll lately. But that could all be cut short by Showtime Shayne here tonight. COACH I don't think so, Cole. Pierce is on the wave of momentum. And my dude knows how to ride a wave all the way to shore! And speaking of riding, I see Jade is... COLE Don't even start that. *DINGDINGDING* Pierce engages Shayne in some smack talk before the match, hardly striking fear into the Tag Team Champion. The Result tells Shayne to step back and let him "show him how it's done". A smirking Shayne obliges, as Pierce psyches himself up. COACH Look out, it's gonna be the big one! COLE The big what? Dropping down, Pierce knocks his fist against the canvas, building up the anticipation to not-exactly a fever pitch, before working his way back up with the FISTPUMP~! PIERCE OH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wow... that was certainly something. The crowd aren't impressed, but Amberlyn and Riggs are, applauding the happy Result. The gambit has been thrown down and Shayne steps up, shrugging his shoulders as if to say why not. Tyler and Jade start the crowd, getting a beat going as Shayne crouches down... and FISTPUMPS to the delight of the crowd! But it's all a trap, as with Shayne standing pleased with himself, Pierce jumps him from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Pierce stomps away on Shayne as Tyler and Jade cry poor sportsmanship on the outside. COLE What a jerk move that was. COACH It's like the song says. Punks fistpump and get beat down. COLE That's not how that song goes. Pierce whips Shayne into the ropes and lets out an excited shout, before ducking his head. Which is a bad move, as Shayne puts on the brakes and boots him in the chest! Pierce tries to fire right back with a clothesline, but Shayne runs underneath and hits the ropes with a flying forearm! Away staggers Pierce, falling into a corner. Shayne runs in at him and leaps, doing a FISTPUMP before falling back with the monkey flip! COACH Now that's just insulting to the man's culture! No need for that. Climbing to the middle rope, Shayne flies off with a dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! With Pierce reeling, Shayne runs in, but gets backdropped over the top rope. Luckily for Shayne though, he manages to land safely on the apron. He then makes another elusive move, sliding back under the bottom rope and through a bemused Pierce's legs as the Duncan dude swings with a punch. Shayne runs off the ropes, catching Pierce with a crossbody! 1... 2... No! COLE Pierce is getting a little of the run around here. Shayne, just too quick for him! Shayne rocks Pierce with a couple of forearms, then hits the ropes again. Pierce thinks he has the counter and tries to turn it into a back suplex on the run, but Shayne flips through the air and lands on his feet! COLE Whoa! Despite the impressive evasion, Shayne is left off balance, which allows Pierce to cut him off with a boot to the gut. Pierce stops to holler something at Shayne, then lifts him up for an Alabama Slam... but Shayne escapes, into a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! Both men roll to their feet and this time Pierce is the quickest, leaping into the air and driving Shayne down with a running vertical legdrop!! COACH Duncan Donut! Cover by Pierce... 1... 2... No! Riggs encourages his partner, finally with some cause for hope. The Result decides to use his well earned advantage to slap Shayne around a little and play to the crowd. "PIERCE SUCKS!" "PIERCE SUCKS!" "PIERCE SUCKS!" "PIERCE SUCKS!" Irish whips sends Shayne off the ropes, into a back elbow. Pierce then comes off the ropes himself, stopping to throw out a FISTPUMP and drop an elbow! Cover... 1... 2... No! Feeling confident despite the kickout, Pierce struts around, swatting at Shayne mockingly as he tries to get up. PIERCE (to Jade) Whaddya think of your little boy now, huh? Jade looks unimpressed with her uncle, both in general and right at this moment. And she can't help but cheer as Shayne makes Pierce pay for his laziness with a punch to the gut. Shayne fires away, trying to fight back. But Pierce manages to cut him off with a big short clothesline! So impressed with this is Pierce, he plays to the crowd. COACH Does Pierce look good or what, Cole? That's them Duncan genes, they make stars baby! COLE Pierce is a great athlete. Although, if he was half as good as he thinks he is, he'd be amazing. He might even be amazing if he actually concentrated on matches, instead of making himself seen. COACH Duncan genes. Dude's gotta show off what he's got. COLE Yes, but when Krista does it, she shows off whilst pulverising someone. Or, failing that, humiliating them. Picking Shayne back up, Pierce hammers away a couple of times. Tyler and Riggs look on intently, knowing how important this match could be going into The Great Angle Bash. Not seeming quite so concerned, Pierce decides to pick Shayne up in a gorilla press and leave him there, showing off his strength. AMBERLYN WHOOO! Amberlyn is impressed, but not when Shayne wriggles his way out of the press and lands behind her brother! COLE What happened there? Did Pierce catch his reflection in something and get distracted? COACH You talk like he's vain. As Pierce turns around, Shayne dodges past him and comes off the ropes with a Leg Lariat! Cover by Shayne... 1... 2... NO! Shayne rocks The Result with some forearms, hitting the ropes again and knocking him down with another flying forearm! Showtime then heads up top, routed on by his team in the corner. Reaching the top, he waits for a confused Pierce to find his way around, the Billabong Gorilla looking up in horror as Shayne comes down on him with a flying clothesline off the top!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That could do it right there! Shayne hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! Riggs breathes a sigh of relief on the outside, but Duncan isn't safe yet. Shayne heads back up the turnbuckles, this time only to the second rope. Waving Pierce up, Shayne comes off with a STOMP to the back with Duncan still doubled up! COLE Showtime Stomp! COACH C'mon Pierce, you can't let your bro down! Pierce's "bro" is beginning to look worried, as Shayne lays in wait. He snatches hold of Pierce, going for the SHAYNEDROP... NO! Pierce shoves him off, into the ropes. Shayne comes back, vaulting up onto Pierce's shoulders with a victory roll in mind. Instead, Pierce pushes him off and with Shayne landing away from him, The Result capitalises with a back suplex, flipped over into a facebuster!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Cha-Ching! Cover by Pierce... 1... 2... KICKOUT! A relieved Tyler applauds his partner, as Riggs urges Pierce to finish him off. COLE This would be a huge win, if Pierce can pull it off. Huge momentum heading into the Tag Title match at The Great Angle Bash! Nodding his head like he's got everything under control, Pierce sets Shayne up. He goes for the Lightning Spiral, but Shayne twists out of it! Booting him in the gut, Shayne then leapfrogs over, onto Pierce's back, into the MOTION BLUR!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... NO, PIERCE KICKS OUT! COLE Oh, that was close! Shayne is quickly back up, waiting on Pierce. Realising his partner is in major trouble, James Riggs resorts to desperate measures and jumps onto the apron before Shayne can go for the Shaynedrop! COLE Wait a minute. Get him down from there! COACH He's just trying to pass on some advice, it's okay. COLE Oh, right. The distraction doesn't exactly pay off, as Shayne dives past the referee and knocks Riggs off the apron with a dropkick, to Amberlyn's horror! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler and Jade complain from the outside, whilst in the commotion, Pierce hits Shayne in the back with a desperation knee. Shayne sprawls forward, into the ropes. And with the referee's attention on the D*LUX corner, Riggs reaches up and HANGS SHAYNE ACROSS THE MIDDLE ROPE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE HEY! Did you see that? COACH What? I was looking at Amberlyn. COLE Riggs just gave Shayne a hotshot from the outside! COACH I'll take your word for it, my eyes are busy. Holding his neck, Shayne staggers back into Pierce, who quick as a flash spins him around and hits PIERCY'S IN THE HOUSE!! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pierce quickly bails out and into a big, dramatic embrace from Amberlyn! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... PPIIIIEEERRRRCCEEEEE DDUUUUUNNCCAAAAAANN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tyler slides in and checks on Shayne, as Pierce is practically bouncing off the walls, unable to contain his excitment over his victory. Even Riggs, who's holding his neck, gets a big hug, as The Result celebrates in big style. COLE The number one contenders have just STOLEN one out from under the Tag Team Champions! And Pierce looks as shocked as anyone! COACH That's not shock, that's delight! Big bro just came up huge! What a win! The gleesome threesome celebrate their win, with Riggs making it clear to Tyler that the belts are next on their hitlist, Pierce and Amberlyn a little more theatric beside him. COACH Aww man, it's gonna be party time tonight! Break out the tequila! ARRRRRIBA! COLE Folks, the action and stereotypes continue after this!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 osh Matthews stands backstage with microphone in hand. Nope he’s not in the interview lounge. Josh ain’t cool enough to hang in the lounge! He’s currently with…OSCAR FRIBERG JOSH I’m standing here with super rookie Oscar Friberg. Oscar, you’ve had some problems with the Cucaracha Kingdom since you’ve come into the OAOAST. OSCAR Yeah, you could say that. I had a good plan for coming in here. I was going to treat my rookie year like my rookie year in jail. I was going to keep my head down and I wasn’t going to talk shit. That would keep people out my hair. But I win my first match and I have the whole Kingdom on me. There’s just one of me, and a lot of them. But so what? I’m used to fighting the odds, and I’ll fight them all off one on one or one on seven. JOSH Tonight, you’ve got the biggest match of your young career against Theodore Moneymaker in the quarterfinal of the King Of The Ring tournament. Were you surprised to be included in the tournament? OSCAR Yeah, I was actually. After all you’ve got great talents like Baron Windels, Tim Cash, and Alexander The Brutal who aren’t in and I am? It shows Alfdogg has faith in me, and I’m going to reward him with a big victory tonight over Theodore Moneymaker JOSH Thanks, Oscar. Guys, take it away. "Church Of Hot Addiction" plays through the arena, as James Blonde heads to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is a King Of The Ring First Round match, set for one fall. Introducing first... from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Weighing two hundred and eight pounds... "THE TRENDSETTER" JJJJAAAAAAMMMMEEEESSSSSSS BBLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Kicking off our first round of the 2011 King Of The Ring, here and now with The Trendsetter. And James Blonde with a lot to prove after his ex-communication from the Cucaracha Kingdom. What better way than following in his former mentor Landon Maddix's footsteps and becoming the King? COACH He's already got the style... just, a few wins would be useful. As Blonde limbers up, "Chelsea Dagger" thumps out of the P.A. The lights alternate red, white and blue as the British badass, Nathaniel Black, marches his way out. BUFFER And weighing two hundred, thirty eight pounds... from London, England... NNAAAAAATTHHHAAAANNIIIIEEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Speaking of former Cucaracha Kingdom members. COACH Yeah. He's the reason we don't have a King around no more! COLE Nathaniel dealt with King Landon at AngleMania once and for all. Will it be a case of the King is dead, long live the King? Black rolls into the ring and hounds Blonde into cowering through the ropes for safety. Smirking, Black turns away and punches his fists to the crowd, as Blonde looks on meekly. COLE No love lost between these two. What a great way to kick off the 2011 King Of The Ring, here tonight in Mexico. *DINGDINGDING* Stripped off and ready to go, Black tries to lure a cautious Blonde into locking up. Blonde hesitates in locking fingers but Black catches hold of him, going behind Blonde with a waistlock and flipping him easily to the mat. Riding his former ally, Black forces Blonde to eat some mat. He then lets Blonde up, enough to start dishing out some crossfaces! COLE Ow! Blonde scampers into the ropes and clings on for dear life until a break comes. COLE I wonder if Landon is watching this, somewhere, wherever he's holed up right now. COACH I hope not. Poor guy doesn't need to see this. Back up, Blonde is teased into another lockup. Again Black makes Blonde pays for his hesitancy, going behind again and flinging him with a waistlock takedown. Blonde sits up and Black kneels down, trapping one of Blonde's arms and contorting his neck with a nasty looking crossface hold! COLE Boy, Black is really taking his former running buddy to school in the early going. And it's a painful lesson! Inching his way across the mat, Blonde reaches his foot on the rope, forcing another break. However, Black pulls him back up and delivers a European uppercut! And another one! COACH I think it may be double period. Black whips Blonde to the ropes, but The Trendsetter comes back with a dropkick to the knee, catching Black by surprise. COACH There you go, JB! With his opponent hobbled, Blonde quickly snapmares him over and delivers another dropkick, to the back this time. Cover... 1... 2... No! Blonde stays on Black, controlling him with a front facelock. Black fights back to his feet, shrugging off some forearms to the back and breaking free. Ducking a clothesline, Blonde tries to go back after the knee. But Black hurdles a single leg attempt and goes back to the waistlock. Realising he's in trouble, Blonde whips off his bandana and throws it aside. A slight of hand, distracting the referee, allowing him to catch Black with a LOWBLOW!! CROWD *LOUD WHISTLING* COLE That's a blatant foul. Not just in Mexico, but anywhere! Despite suspecting foul play, the referee has no proof and can only warn Blonde to watch his step. Blonde hears the referee out, then goes back on the attack. Hitting a suplex, Blonde goes for a pin... 1... 2... No! COLE You'll have to do more than that to beat Nathaniel Black. That win over Landon at AngleMania has given him closure, but also confidence. And he's determined to start chasing some singles gold in the OAOAST, after being sidetracked for so long. Blonde kicks away at Black, not seeming to do much damage as Black gets up and cracks him with a forearm! Able to shake it off, Blonde cuts him off with a boot. But Black comes back again, catching The Trendsetter coming off the ropes with a headbutt to the stomach. Black then delivers a clothesline, sending Blonde over the top and out to the apron. COLEAlmost all the way to the outside! As Blonde picks himself up on the apron, Black goes outside with him and tries to set him up for a move on the apron! COLE Oh, this is dangerous territory! Very dangerous! COACH You're telling me! He's going to throw him off the damn apron! Luckily for Blonde he manages to hook onto the ropes, then fight Black off with elbows. With Black dazed, Blonde feeds his upper body back through the ropes, leaving him sat on the middle rope and puts him in a choke across the top cable! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Letting go before a disqualification, Blonde climbs back inside. Black is still sat on the middle rope facing outside and Blonde aims a bullseye square on his back, springboarding off the middle rope and connecting with a dropkick!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Yes! Nice! COLE That was a nice move. A very opportunistic move as well, Nathaniel all tied up in the ropes and he may be in trouble now. As Black slowly picks himself up in the ring, Blonde heads to the top. Waiting for Black to get to his feet in a hunched over state, The Trendsetter comes off the ropes with a flying knee to the side of the head! COACH Brand Labelling! The shot spins Black around, staying on his feet but falling against the turnbuckles. Blonde lines him up, hitting him in the corner with a clothesline. Blonde then hooks him up for the follow-up bulldog... but Black THROWS him off!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE One too many 'nice' moves in a row there, though. And Black had the counter. Nursing his tailbone, Blonde picks himself up in the corner. Black charges in and connects with a high knee in the corner! Blonde then staggers out, into the path of a LARIAT off the ropes from Black! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Black drags Blonde back up and delivers the HALF NELSON BACKBREAKER!! 1... 2... NO!! Each kickout seems to fire Black up more though and he sets Blonde up one more time. COLE Off comes the elbowpad! Black hits the ropes and looks for the big Lariat again... NO! Blonde kicks Black's arm in mid swing! COLE Blocked it! As Black favours his arm Blonde tries to capitalise, trying to apply the cobra clutch. Black still has enough left in the arm to fight it off and to throw Blonde off for good measure, flipping him over with his hip. Waiting on Blonde, Black tries again with the Lariat. Again Blonde is ready for it and gets his boot up, kicking Black's arm... ...but Black uses the momentum this time, swinging himself around and using the other arm to NAIL Blonde with a spinning clothesline!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE BLACK LARIAT! COACH AAAHHH!! Stopping to check on his arm, Black takes a couple of seconds to cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Black quickly grabs onto Blonde's wrists and crosses the arms underneath... but Blonde fights out of the Brittania Bomb attempt, booting Black in the gut. COACH That's what he learnt from King Landon! Heart of a King! COLE You mean the guy who's gone into hiding since losing a match? With Black doubled up, Blonde lifts him up into a fireman's carry. Black manages to wriggle free with little trouble. Landing behind, he takes Blonde up, looking for a back suplex. But Blonde flips over, landing on his feet and catching Black with a chopblock! With his opponent down, The Trendsetter then leaps to the middle rope, flinging himself back with the LIONSAULT... ...BUT BLACK MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!! COACH Oh no! Blonde winds up doubled over and Black quickly takes advantage by crossing up the arms and hitting the BRITTANIA BOMB!!!! COLE Boom! It's over! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, advancing in the 2011 King Of The Ring tournament... NATHANIEL BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Black stands over Blonde and raises his fists triumphantly, with a decisive progression to the semi finals. COLE Well, let's hope that King Landon wasn't watching. Because Nathaniel Black is moving on, next week, one step closer to the King Of The Ring crown. COACH My boy JB just can't catch a break. This sucks. Looking down at Blonde, Black shrugs as he leaves, more misery for The Trendsetter as his former ally marches on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 M O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Lady Gaga’s “Money Honey” rolls into the arena, met with jeers and boos from the capacity crowd. OAOAST Women’s Champion Lorelei DeCenzo glides out from the backstage area. Attired in a glittering strapless blue gown, she strolls along the entrance ramp to the ring. COLE I had a feeling our run of luck of not having to hear Lorelei speak was going to end. Lorelei enters the ring to receive a microphone. LORELEI I am sorry to interrupt the evening’s events but Maya-Duncan Blanchard has done the unthinkable and I’ve held my tongue about it for too long. She has posed for pictures in OAOAST Magazine which you all saw. COACH And loved! LORELEI And no doubt hated. COACH Uh, not exactly. LORELEI By doing this she has stolen the shine that is rightfully mine. P.Diddy himself. COLE Not this again. LORELEI Called my cell phone the moment after her pictures her aired and expressed disgust and disdain that I had once again been passed over for a lesser light in the OAOAST. He said if this continues to happen, if I continue to be passed over than my marketing potential would go way down. And I simply can not have that! I must be the next crossover mainstream star, and P.Diddy is just the man to make it happen. COLE I can’t believe she’s continuing this charade. LORELEI But he won’t be able to make such a great thing come to pass if the OAOAST keeps sabotaging me by putting out these bimbos in front of me. That includes Maya Duncan-Blanchard. I took care of that flat chested psychopath Morgan, now I’m gonna take care of this airheaded brat Maya! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”You make me Feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's runaway And don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops When you look at me Just one touch Now baby I believe This is real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back A huge ovation goes up from the sold out audience, welcoming Maya Duncan-Blanchard onto the stage. MAYA What up, b? Why you hatin’? LORELEI Why do you think I’m “hating”? MAYA I think you’re hating because I look hella bad, and your trampy ass looks hella sad! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA I know it had to hurt seeing someone so young, so sexy, and so smoking hot laid bare in front of you. It probably reminds you of what you used to have, Betty White. LORELEI Betty White? MAYA You heard me, Golden Girl. You probably looked in the mirror saw breasts that are hanging all the way down to Texas, turned around and looked over your shoulder and saw an ass that’s flat enough to play basketball on. And then you looked back at me with my awesome body and you shed a tear. But rather than admit that, you’ve come up with this insane lie that you know P.Diddy and he’s upset with the OAOAST. In the words of the man himself “Bitch, Puffy don’t care about no ho” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” LORELEI MAYA And Maya Duncan-Blanchard doesn’t care about no ho either. Unless their ho-hos, love those things. Lately Jade and I will buy a bunch from the store, and eat them all in one sitting. Then she’ll break down and cry about Spencer or something and I just have to laugh, because pseudo-celeberity trainwrecks are kinda funny when they’re your own sister. Anyway, as I was saying, I don’t care about you. But I do care about what’s around your waist, the Women’s Title. Now, I was thinking, I looked pretty good in that see through pink top didn’t I? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” MAYA I looked pretty good in those thongs didn’t I? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA And I looked good wearing nothing but bubbles, right? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA But, I’d look even better wearing the OAOAST Women’s Title! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” LORELEI Absolutely not! You’ll get nowhere near my title belt. But, I will allow you to fall in defeat to me. You chose two partners, and I’ll chose two partners and we will have a match at The Great Angle Bash. MAYA Deal! We fade to commercial with the image of an intense staredown between Lorelei and Maya.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 You want a flaming snake’s head? I’ll give you a flaming snake’s head and it’ll have MOTHERFUCKING FLAMING EYES!!!!!! Emerging from the fanged mouth of the snake is Ned Blanchard and a Siclopse toting Molly Nerdly. Ned howls into the air as Molly dutifully films her good friend. BUFFER The following King Of The Ring quarterfinal contest is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way to the ring from Orange County, California, he is accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY….THE HANDSOME HUSTLER NEEEEDDDDD BLLLAAAANNNNCHHHAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDD! Ned howls once more as he rips away his trademark vest. Molly, of course, captures all of this on her camera. COLE A HUGE match here in the first round of The King Of The Ring tournament as Ned Blanchard meets up once again with Leon Rodez. It would be a double victory for Ned if he could advance in the tournament and get his revenge on The Fallen Idol. Ned hits the ring and heads to the top rope. He psyches up the audience with head wagging and tough talk as orange lights flare all around him."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." Dead and Gone transforms into Numb, and the jeers are loud and numerous. Slipping out past the parting entrance doors is the always dour Leon Rodez. He scowls at the camera then turns his nasty mood upon Morgan, who slinks out from the back. He pauses for a moment and looks over his shoulder, seemingly considering heading backstage and forgetting the whole contest. However, he steels his resolve and strolls towards the ring. BUFFER And the opponent….from Grand Rapids, Michigan, he is accompanied by MORGAN NERDLY…he is THE FALLEN IDOL LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON RODEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon wipes his arm across his frowning mouth as the lights behind flicker with a brilliant whiteness. COLE The lyrics to Leon’s entrance music say “Don’t know what you’re expecting of me” . And we don’t know what to expect of Leon Rodez. Winning this tournament would be a way back into title contention, something Leon always covets. But in order to win you actually have to wrestle, and Leon hasn’t been too willing to do that lately. COACH That’s because he’s had no benefit from wrestling. He ain’t gonna be like some of these fools, putting their body on the line for nothing. He’s got to have a purpose and a reason to wrestle. The King of The Ring crown is as good a purpose as any. DING DING DING Ned wastes no time in getting the match underway; he surges forward to clothesline Leon to the ground. The former OAOAST World champion is already tired of the match, and tries to roll away. Yet, Ned keeps him grounded with powerful mounted punches. COLE Leon was trying to escape and the match was only five seconds old! COACH He was trying to reset before Ned could jump out to a big advantage. COLE I’m not going to give The Fallen Idol the benefit of the doubt. Morgan beats on the mat and encourages Leon, which does more to annoy him than it does help him. While Morgan continues to exhaust him with her kindness, Leon gets up and retreats to the corner. He starts to step through the ropes, but is caught by a lariat from The Handsome Hustler before he can go anywhere. COLE Ned has no choice but to stay on Leon, or he’s going to high tail it out of here. COACH He’s not trying to escape, he’s trying to create distance between him and this hot head. Ned climbs to the second rope, holding up his fist to pose to the crowd. He then begins to rain punches down across Leon’s face. After the tenth one connects, Ned dismounts Leon. The Fallen Idol stumbles about the ring, still hearing Morgan’s screams of encouragement. These actually serve to distract him. For that reason, he’s nailed by a side Russian leg sweep from Ned. A pinfall is then made, and is counted by Clem Buzzlefoxer… ONE! Leon throws the shoulder off the canvas. He gets to his feet and is tagged in the face by a right jab from Ned. The Handsome Hustler then bounces off the ropes. He comes back with his shoulder extended for a tackle. However, Leon swings behind him to ground him with a neckbreaker! He then quickly disposes of Ned by using his black leather boot to shove him out the ring. COACH Now Ned’s trying to escape! COLE He’s not trying to escape, he got pushed out there by Leon. Leon turns to Morgan and begins ordering her to start kicking at Ned. Always a sportsmanlike girl, Morgan is hesitant to do such. Her sister Molly counters Leon’s efforts with pleas to the otherwise. Realizing that he’s not going to get anywhere with Morgan, a highly disgusted Leon exits the ring. As he steps down on the outside mats, Ned strikes him in the stomach with a hard punch. Grabbing onto Leon’s jet black hair, The Handsome Hustler throws him face first into the steel guardrail. This greatly pleases the nearby audience, who hunger for blood. They continue to cheer as Ned dumps Leon back into the ring. After following Leon inside, Ned kneels behind him, a violent fire in his eyes. COLE The snake is getting ready to strike! Leon rises, and carries himself into a sleeper hold. The fans get to their feet, expecting to see the Angel’s Venom. COLE If Ned hits this, he’s advancing to the second round of the King Of The Ring tourney! Leon has little desire to fall victim to Ned’s signature hold. Thusly he begins throwing elbows back at Ned at alarming speed. The blows do their trick and Ned is warded off. He only remains backed away for a moment, and once that moment is up he begins slugging Leon in the jaw with right hands. When these blows sufficiently weaken the former world champion, The Handsome Hustler grabs onto his arm and tries to whip him into the ropes. However, Leon counters with a short arm elbow to Ned’s face. Wasting little time, The Fallen Idol throws out a superkick that rocks Ned’s chin. The three time tag team champion remains upright, but not for long as Leon throws him overhead with an exploder suplex. COLE VINTAGE Leon Rodez! Leon scrapes Ned off the canvas, and shoves him into the corner. There he slams knees into Ned’s midsection. He soon switches to kicks, and manages to stomp Ned down to the ground. COLE This is such a major first round match in the King Of The Ring tournament. You have to think the winner would be a heavy favorite to advance to the finals. Ned stumbles out the corner, carrying himself into a double arm DDT from the Grand Rapids native. Morgan cheers on the outside, but is quickly shushed by Leon as he goes for the pin…. ONE! TWO! Ned lifts his shoulder off the canvas, causing Molly and the fans to cheer. Less to their liking is the snap suplex Leon hits Ned with. The Fallen Idol continues his relentless assault by stomping Ned’s skull. COACH Leon has found a way to heat it up. He started out slow, but he’s gotten Ned under control, and it looks like The Handsome Whiner won’t ever get his revenge. Leon pulls Ned off the canvs, and then begins taking aim with punches to the top of Ned’s head. Much to his surprise, Ned begins fighting back with punches of his own. These allow him to latch onto Leon’s wrist and chuck him into a corner. He follows in with a corner lariat, but Leon raises his boot to back Ned away. After climbing onto the second rope, Leon flies off to cut down Ned with a lariat! Another pinfall follows…. ONE! TWO! No! Leon barks at the official, demanding a faster count. Once that bit of business is concluded, he grabs onto Ned and begins pulling him upright. But Ned begins taking aim with punches at Leon’s stomach. Annoyed with these blows, Leon CHOPS Ned in the eye! COLE Come on! How do you chop someone in the eyes and get away with it? COACH This is The King Of The Ring, no match is going to be decided by a DQ if the referee can help it. Leon forces Ned across the second rope, holding him in front of Morgan. LEON Slap him! MORGAN Um…. LEON SLAP HIM! Morgan manages the weakest slap a woman can possibly muster, which merely infuriates Leon. As he yells at her, he steps on Ned’s back, effectively choking him on the ropes. Ned gags and wheezes as the crowd and Molly fret over his condition. COLE Once again Leon is stretching the rules of competition. So he either borderline cheats or he just runs away. Leon finally shows something resembling decency and breaks his hold on Ned’s neck. The Orange County Cobra falls backwards, clutching onto his sore throat. As he tries to get to his feet, Leon runs the ropes. He slides back at Ned, connecting with a lariat. COLE A sliding lariat! When Morgan uses that move its called the Electric Slide. A pinfall is then attempted…. ONE! TWO! Ned gets his foot on the ropes to end the count. This seems to annoy Leon, who again loudly complains over the count. As he continues to berate Clem, he chokes Ned with his boot. Once he concludes that, he paces about the ring, sneering at the audience. Ned flops onto his stomach, trying to shield his throat from any more damage. Yet, its not his throat he has to worry about as Leon grabs onto his legs. COLE Could Leon be looking for the Liontamer. The Fallen Idol starts to twist Ned over, which causes immediate pain in the Californian’s back. Ned yells in agony and determination as he tries to fight against Leon’s efforts. But, despite offering great resistance Ned is forced over. The Liontamer is complete. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the Mexican audience expresses their anger at Leon’s finisher. Ned digs his fingers into the beige canvas, and begins a painful crawl towards the ropes. Leon doesn’t make things easy, sitting down on his back and locking him into place. LEON He’s tapping! Ring the bell! CLEM No he isn’t, sonny! Ned inches closer to the ropes, drawn on my Molly’s words of support. LEON Ring the god damn bell! “HANDSOME HUSTLER! HANDSOME HUSTLER! HANDSOME HUSTLER!” The fans gets into the act of supporting Ned. After several painful moments, Ned is able to reach the ropes in front of Morgan. Clem calls for a clean break, forcing a stunned Leon off Ned. After noticing that Ned wound up in front of Morgan, Leon’s level of rage sky rockets. LEON (to Morgan) Why didn’t you hold the ropes away from him?! Huh?! MORGAN …I’m….sorry. LEON Sorry doesn’t cut it! MOLLY Leave her alone! LEON Shut up! No one asked what you tho- Leon is rocked in the jaw by a powerful punch from Ned. This pops the sold out Mexico City audience, and they beg for more. But Ned can’t give them anything further as Leon knees him in the gut. This drops Ned to his knees, and a small smirk appears on Leon’s face. COLE I think he know what Leon has in store! The Fallen Idol swings around and connects with rolling sobat kick! COLE One Hit Kill! COACH Its good night, Ned Blanchard, hello second round for Leon Rodez! Leon hooks onto Ned’s leg for the pinfall. Problematically, Clem is preoccupied with Morgan! Leon notices this, and his face fills with a red fury. LEON (to Morgan) What the hell are you doing?! MORGAN He just started talking to me! CLEM You’re a fine philly, ain’t ya, young lady! You gonna pose for anymore of those girlie pictures? Me and the boys from the War sure did like ‘em. Leon starts to beat the mat in frustration, unable to control his incredible anger. At his boiling point, Leon reaches through the ropes with his legs and KICKS at Morgan to shoo her away. “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” Now Leon turns his attention to Clem, and gets directly into the face of the official. He dresses him down with incredibly intensity, causing Clem to wilt in sadness. But, Clem is soon rescued from the verbal thrashing, when Ned hits a German suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Ned rolls through and hits another suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” And another! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” He rolls back to his feet, only for Leon to catch him with a backpack stunner! Ned remains upright, however, and staggers about the ring. Leon stares at him with a vicious eye, before taking off to the ropes. When he returns, Ned crunches him against the canvas with a Samoan Drop! This causes Leon to shriek in agony and attend to a sore back. NED Get up, bitch! Leon rolls to his feet and is thrown under fire by a bevy of rapid coming knife edge chops. Ned finishes those blows with a spinning back fist that turns Leon around. As such Ned executes a back suplex with ease. Leon is smashed against the canvas and left in quite a bit of anguish. But this isn’t enough for Ned, who slingshots his foe towards the corner. Somehow Leon is able to gather enough wits about him to land on the second rope. He then twists around with an axe handle smash. However, this basic move is countered by an uppercut from Ned. NED Angel’s Venom! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience pops for the move that’s sure to bring the end of the contest. Ned slaps on the sleeper hold, but as he prepares to lift Leon up, The Fallen Idol slides out the hold. Not wishing to let Ned get another grip on him, Leon puts distance between he and his foe by hastily rolling out the ring. COLE He’s going to run away again! Leon stumbles over to the time keeper’s table. Upon arriving he grabs a microphone. LEON Your winner as a result of a countout, forfeit, whatever, Ned Blanchard. Congratulations, buddy. Leon tosses the microphone back to Buffer before he heads away. He stalks past Morgan, completely ignoring her, on his way to the rampway. With Leon departing, Clem Buzzlefoxer has no choice but to make his comment offical. DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a countout and advancing to the second round of the King Of The Ring tournament….NED BLANCHAAAAARRRRDDDDD! There’s a mixed reaction from the capacity crowd. Many are happy Ned won, but there are those who wished to see a legitimate ending to the contest. Ned Blanchard is one of them. NED Hell no! Giving Clem no time to even raise his hand, Ned bursts through the ropes. He rushes up the ramp, and clubs Leon from behind. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Leon tries to get scramble away from Ned. The Handsome Hustler is glue, sticking to him with tenacity as he throws a bevy of punches. COLE Ned Blanchard wants revenge on Leon Rodez, and he is going to get it! Fearing for his safety, Leon starts to finally defend himself. But he’s no match for the brawling skills of Blanchard, who beats him to the ground. Luckily for Leon, backstage officials roll out from the back to aid him. “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” There’s no fight to be had as Leon picks himself up in order to dart backstage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 We're transported backstage to the always lavish, always stately Duncan dressing room.JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN hangs out with...ALIX MARIA SPEZIA JADE Hey, Alix, if you don’t mind me asking, whatever happened to that challenge Reject issued for a cage match with you? ALIX Cages are freaking awesome! You can put all sorts of things in cages. Dogs, cats, Terry Taylor, bunny rabbits, Muslims, the list goes on in and on! But you won’t be putting Alix Maria Spezia and Reject in a cage. JADE So you’re saying no to the challenge? ALIX Sorry, Jade, but I just bought a big ol bucket of fried chicken from KFC, so I think I’m gonna do that and hope no black people come and try to take it from me. Lol just jokes, please don’t kick me off the air. JADE That’s unlike you to ever back down from challenge, Alix. ALIX That’s because I’ve got a better challenge in mind! Check it, sucka, I was totally between your mother’s legs last night. JADE Why me? ALIX Having my midnight snack, when her first of three orgasms hit. JADE Please stop. ALIX And you know how your mom gets when she’s having an orgasm? JADE No, I really don’t. ALIX Well, I’ll tell you. JADE Please don’t. ALIX Her body starts trembling like a freaking earthquake, and she grabs onto the back of my head and presses my face right into her va-jay-jay, and starts screaming “Eat me, you bitch! Eat me good!’ and then her legs lock around me like a boa constrictor, trapping me and flooding my face with her juices. JADE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! ALIX And you know what I think, I think your mother must’ve been a native American in a past life. And the elders of the tribe would soooooo carpet munch her to take them to a higher plane, because I totally was taken to a new level of being and got an idea. So I broke free of your mom’s vice grip, because I had work to do! So I carefully drew a diagram on something called “Jade Rodez-Duncan’s birth certificate” Whatever that was, and figured out an even better match! For Great Angle Bash it will be me Biffman, versus Reject and ThunderKid! JADE I don’t know if that’s a good idea. The Church is almost double digits in size, you’d have to deal with all of them. ALIX Not a prob, bob! I got someone watching our back. JADE Who? ALIX That’s where the cool part comes in! Yokozuna is dead and Puff the Magic Dragon is a fictional character. So I called up my awesome buddy Natalie Portman, who has grade A beef with the Chruch of Abdullah and she was all like why are you speaking in Ethiopian, and I was like because they’re listening, and she’s like because who’s listening and I was like the ALIENS duh! They speak English! Haven't you seen Paul? So then she’s like speak English or I’m hanging up! So I told her the plan and she was all for it! JADE Really? That’s amazing! ALIX Anything to get her hands on Abdullah. So then I go back to the bedroom and I'm super sleepy, but your mom is like "I'm still horny!" but I'm like I wanna go to bed And she's like I got some reasons you should stay up "69 reasons". So then we assume the position, the 69 position in case you didn't catch the joke and I'm on the bottom and my fingers are all the way in her wabbit tail, and she starts moaning... Jade hangs her head and sighs as Alix continues with her story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate Green and gold spotlights hover over the entrance way, befitting of a man who sees nothing but green and gold. This man is Theodore Moneymaker and he enters to a decidedly negative reception from the sold out Mexican audience. The Billion Dollar Heir totes the American flag and proudly waves on his way down the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following King Of The Ring quarterfinal match is scheduled for one fall…now making his way to the ring he is the OAOAST United States Champion, and the CEO of The Enterprise….he is THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR THEODORE MOOOONEEEEEYYYYMMMAAAKKKKEEERRRRR! COLE It’s a star studded Kig Of The Ring with two former world champions in Theodore Moneymaker and Leon Rodez in the field. COACH What a king Mister Moneymaker would make! COLE He’d be a king who never wrestles. Its very telling that the first time we’ve seen him wrestle on HeldDOWN since In Your Parents Basement is when he doesn’t have to put the United States title on the line. Then its okay for the great Theodore Moneymaker to wrestle. COACH I’m glad you see it his way. Moneymaker continues to wave old glory in the center of the ring, drawing fantastic heel heat from the crowd.All I Got by Natasha Bedingdfield replaces Sympathy For The Devil. Attention is turned away from Moneymaker’s anti-Mexican antics and to the mezzanine level where Oscar Friberg sits with a raven on his shoulder. BUFFER Now making his way to the ring from Amsterdam, Netherlands….he is THE FREEBIRD OSCAR FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Oscar nods to the cheering crowd on his way down the stairwell. COLE Oscar Friberg is an outstanding rookie with loads of potential and an amazing story. But he faces his toughest challenge in former world champion and current US champion Theodore Moneymaker. DING DING DING As the Freebird takes off his white tank top, The Billion Dollar heir pounces upon him with a clubbing blow. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Gotta keep your eyes on your opponent. Moneymaker backs Oscar into the corner, where he unleashes a torrent of knife edge chops. Oscar sags against the ring posts, which allows the money maven to back to the center of the ring. He then charges forward to smack Oscar across the chest with a lariat. The Dutchman falls to the ground and grimaces in agony. Not exactly concerned with his foe’s poor state, Moneymaker STANDS on his head. Oscar reaches out and grabs onto the ropes, which causes referee Charles Robinson to call for a break. The bottomless pockets of Moneymaker open up as he offers Robinson a bribe to remain on Oscar’s head. COACH Mister Moneymaker is on top of his game! COLE Being on the top his game simply requires offering a monetary transaction to an overworked referee? The bribe fails as it always does. Grousing about this, Moneymaker pulls Oscar up. He tags him with two quick elbows before sending him into the ropes. Oscar bounces back to duck a clothesline. But on his next return a spinning back elbow catches him in the nose. MONEYMAKER Welcome to the big leagues, kid! BWHAAHHAHAHAAAAAA! Moneymaker continues to laugh his evil laugh as he throws Oscar back into the ropes. Another lariat is avoided, this time by Oscar swinging around his opponent for a crucifix. However, he can’t gather the strength to pull down Moneymaker’s muscular frame. As such Moneymaker simply drops back and crushes Oscar’s figure between his body and the canvas. Grinning at the possibility of victory, he leans back to pin the rookie… ONE! TWO! Oscar with the kickout! COLE What would happen to Oscar Friberg if we won the King Of The Ring? Just think about the possibilities. COACH Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mikey Cole, he’s still gotta beat Mister Moneymaker and ain’t too many people have done that. Moneymaker begins dragging Oscar off the canvas. The Freebird shows some fights with kicks to Moneymaker’s legs. These hobble him, and Oscar is then able to catch him with a leaping kick to the side of the head. This sends Moneymaker tumbling backwards, and he falls through the ropes straight to the outside. COLE There was scary power behind that kick. While Moneymaker gathers himself, Oscar ascends to the top turnbuckle. He gets the crowd into things, and then flies off with a cross body block. Moneymaker noitces his arrival much too late, and is pushed to the ground by the descending Friberg. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans chant as Oscar high fives a few in the front row. COACH That’s a rookie mistake. Unless you’re an awesome wrestler like say Pierce Duncan, you can’t afford to showboat and not stay on your opponent. COLE Did you just call Pierce Duncan an “awesome wrestler”? Oscar shoves Moneymaker into the ring, simply for Moneymaker to roll right out to the other side. The Mexican audience boos his cowardice, while Oscar jumps onto the ring apron. He runs across, and then hops off to wrap his legs around Moneymaker’s shoulders. But the Vero Beach native counters the hurricanrana attempt by swinging Oscar to the side and ramming him into the guardrail. COACH Mister Moneymaker is just too brilliant. He suckered in Friberg and then used the ringside area to his advantage. Is there anything Mister Moneymaker can’t do? COLE Apologize to Christian Wright. And I find it odd that Christian was left out of this tournament. COACH A lot of dudes were left out, Baron Windels, ThunderKid, Quiz, just to name a few. Alfdogg took superstars he thought would present the most entertaining matchups and he made a tournament. Moneymaker pushes Friberg back into the squared circle. After following the Dutchman inside, The Billion Dollar Heir batters him stomps from his red boots. When the stomps conclude, Moneymaker drags Friberg up from the mat. He then flips him over with a bridged Northern lights suplex. The pinfall is counted… ONE! TWO! Oscar finds his way out the pinfall. This leads Moneymaker to offer another bribe to the referee. Thinking its been accepted, a grinning Moneymaker makes another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! COLE Oscar Friberg showing a lot of resiliency and heart against a foe with championship credentials. Oscar comes to his feet under his own will. Moneymaker slamming a knee into his midsection halts his movement. The US champion bounces off the ropes, and comes roaring back wielding a shoulder tackle. However, Oscar jumps him and snaps off a kick to his face! Moneymaker staggers back into the ropes, whom quickly spew him back into a DDT from The Freebird. A cover is then made… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker gets his shoulder up just in the nick of time. COACH What kind of king would Oscar Friberg make? The dude is a straight thug. And a pretty thug at that. He had have a ho for a queen, and gang members as knights. Oscar motions for Moneymaker to get to his feet. When he does The Freebird leaps into him with a lungblower! The US champion yells in an agony that greatly pleases the crowd. They cheer him on as Oscar hooks the legs for the fall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker again manages to avoid defeat. COACH I’m saying this dude Oscar is nothing but a common criminal. Mister Moneymaker is a refined, Yale educated, well off gentlemen. I’m not even sure Oscar graduated grammar school. Who do you think would make the better king? Oscar backs into the ropes. He comes back with arm raised for a lariat, but Moneymaker stops him with a boot to the stomach. A basic body slam then puts the young rookie on the ground. Moneymaker head to the ropes, and then returns to deliver a fistful of dollars! COACH A fistdrop. Even his signature moves are regal! COLE I happen to think Oscar would make a great king. It would be an incredible rags to riches type story. Moneymaker grabs Oscar’s gelled blond hair and begins pulling him off the canvas. He’s a little to casual in this and Oscar succeeds in pushing him into a corner. Wanting to quickly go on the offense, Oscar rushes at his foe. But Moneymaker brushes him back with a raised elbow. Angered over having been subjected to Oscar’s earlier offense, Teddy throws him in the corner and then mercilessly punches him. COLE Vicious attacks by Theodore Moneymaker! COACH A king knows when to be just and when to be strict. Moneymaker executes a powerslam that sends Oscar out the corner. Robinson drops down to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Oscar gets the shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Not pleased with this kickout, Moneymaker picks Fribeg up and readies a mighty punch. But, Oscar ducks the attack and Moneymaker spins around into a pair of kicks to the ribs. Oscar pumps himself and the crowd up, turning his back to Moneymaker. This is unwise as Moneymaker puts him on the ground with an inverted body slam! COLE Now that was what you’d have to call a rookie mistake. And Theodore Moneymaker, the savvy veteran, was wise to capitalize on it. Moneymaker mounts Oscar and begins hammering the youngster with powerful fists. These closed fist don’t go unnoticed by the referee who promptly separates Moneymaker from his victim. Moneymaker slides past the referee and levels the Billion dollar knee drop onto Oscar. A pinfall is executed shortly thereafter…. ONE! COACH This is it for Oscar! TWO! THREE! NO! OSCAR KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Moneymaker is outraged and grabs the official by the collar. Robinson tries to plead his case, but can’t seem to get through the wrathful billionaire. Luckily for him Oscar spins around Moneymaker. He boots his rival in the gut, doubling him up. From there he fastens him inside a standing head scissors. The former gang member tries to lift his rival up, but hasn’t the strength. Thusly, Moneymaker lifts him up in set up of a big slam. However, Oscar is quick and this allows him to roll down Moneymaker’s back for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! MONEYMAKER ROLLS OUT THE PINFALL! “ESE ERA TRES! ESE ERA TRES! ESE ERA TRES!” MONEYMAKER QUIT YOUR JIBBER JABBER AND SPEAK ENGLISH! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Moneymaker leaves the crowd alone and walks right into a superkick! The blow sends him hurtling across the ring into the corner. COLE “Mister” Moneymaker just got blasted. Oscar waves Moneymaker out the corner, taunting and insulting him while doing so. Moneymaker staggers out and is kneed in the gut by his upstart foe. OSCAR BWRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COLE The Birdcall! The only bird that comes is a rather large and hairy one named Rico De Janerio. He jumps onto the ring apron, instantly distracting the referee. This allows for The Kingdom’s master plan to spring into action. Queen Esther gets to the apron as well, and tosses her magic PIXIE DUST into Oscar’s face! COLE Oscar just got blinded! Moneymaker knows a good opportunity when he sees one, and quickly grabs Oscar inside a small package. At this point Rico hops off the ring apron, meaning Robinson turns around to find the pinning situation. He quickly runs to it to make the count… ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!! DING DING DING Oscar falls out the pinfall, and through dust filled eyes looks on horrified. As “Sympathy For The Devil” returns to the arena, Moneymaker parade around as if he had just won the entire tournament. COLE How can he be proud of that victory? Queen Esther and her White Knight have worked together to cheat The Freebird out of a fair match. Moneymaker turns his attention upon the dejected Freebird. He pats him on the shoulder and says “job well done”. With that he walks away, leaving Oscar and the audience to look on confused. COACH Awww shit! You gotta take back everything bad you said about Mister Moneymaker! COLE I will not. There’s a reason for everything Moneymaker does and I doubt this had anything to do with sportsmanship. Folks, the King Of The Ring tournament will continue after this.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 “Motherfucker of the Year” hits and the Real American Prick joins the guys at Sofa Central. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your special guest commentator… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MD hops between Double C on the sofa and teases an indoor shot of the moon. COLE You might as well do it since you’re halfway there. MISTER DICK & COACH COLE Not that I want to see your toned ass. Why aren’t you in the tournament anyway? MISTER DICK Two words… COACH And not those, Cole. MISTER DICK …foregone conclusion. COLE Or maybe to avoid an encounter with Deuce Deuce Bigelow, just like you did at AngleMania when you got his longtime tag partner Kareem to turn against him. MISTER DICK I saved him one helluva ass kicking. “Dick in a Box” by Lonely Island cues and Malaysia cracks her cat o’nine tails while the Middle Eastern Wet Dream struts down the aisle. BUFFER The following is a first round King of the Ring contest! Introducing first, accompanied by MALAYSIA… from every woman’s dream, weighing 440 pounds… KKKAAAAAARRREEEEMMMM… THE MIDDLE EASTERN WET DREAM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kareem moves and grooves to his music, stopping only to give MD a quick pump of the fist. COLE There you see the mountain of a man that will team with our special guest Sunday night, June 26 live on pay-per-view at the Great Angle Bash against the Sooner Bruisers. COACH Big Papa Thrust must be a glutton for punishment. Wasn’t getting his ass handed to him last week enough? COLE Perhaps that explains Malaysia’s infatuation with him. MISTER DICK I know it’s hard for you to get anything straight, Cole, but know that you’re speaking with the only man who makes Malaysia’s back crack, liver quiver and the inner walls of her thighs go boomshakalaka. As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get. The Sooner Bruisers got their match, but Big Papa Thrust‘s dream will turn into a nightmare when it isn’t Malaysia who gets the thrust of it. COLE What do you mean by that? MISTER DICK All I’ll say is, you better buy the GAB on PPV. COACH I’m gonna place an order right now even though I’ll be there to call the action! “Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” hits and Deuce power walks to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent… from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing 390 pounds… DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Kareem pounces on Deuce the second he enters the squared circle. * DINGDINGDING * Deuce is clubbed multiple times and then shot in for a backdrop which he leapfrogs, prompting Kareem to drop down as the true Beast of Sin City bounces off the ropes and performs a CARTWHEEL that’s followed by a diving head BUTT to the kidneys! Deuce quickly wrings the arm and Kareem goes straight for the eyes. After temporarily blinding his foe, Kareem introduces Deuce to the buckle and proceeds to drive his shoulder repeatedly into the tatted superstar’s midsection. Kareem whips Deuce out of the corner and the two collide like two rams in the wild, neither able to budge the other. MISTER DICK Looks like both guys had their Wheaties today. A second collision yields the same result. Kareem dares Deuce to try and knock him down one more time, only to throw a clothesline when Deuce shoots off the ropes, something that backfires as Deuce ducks and connects with a flying cross body on the rebound! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Deuce rocks Kareem against the ropes with a series forearm strikes, but a knee to the gut stops him in his tracks and he gets hip tossed over the top to the floor. COLE Stay right where you are, Mr. Dick. MISTER DICK Hey, I’m here strictly in a broadcasting role. Besides, Kareem’s more than capable of beating Douche himself. COLE There’s no love lost between the two, that’s for sure. COACH Deuce is the one with all the hate. COLE You’d be mad too if you got betrayed on the biggest night of the year, or your woman had eyes for another man. MISTER DICK Don’t press your luck, Cole. You’re looking at the only man who runs through Malaysia’s mind. Kareem yanks Deuce onto the apron and delivers a shot to the head. Deuce returns fire and then executes a partial sunset flip because he’s unable to bring the big guy over. Instead Kareem drops 440 pounds down onto his chest! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Deuce is viciously clubbed across the back and then squashed in the corner with an avalanche splash. KAREEM (paint brushing Deuce) You ain’t so bad now are you, boy? *bobbles head* Kareem shoots Deuce to the other corner for a second avalanche, but Deuce moves and school boy’s him! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Deuce opens fire and puts Kareem on his heels till a knee to the gut cuts short his offensive explosion. Kareem clamps on a reverse chinlock and talks more smack to Deuce. “DEUCE!” “DEUCE!” “BIGELOW!” Deuce fights out of the hold with a series of elbows, then shoots off the ropes to deliver a spinning wheel kick that knocks the Middle Eastern Wet Dream out to the floor. 1... 2... MISTER DICK My ring! MD leaves Sofa Central to search for his ring. COLE “I’m here strictly in a broadcasting role,“ my ass. He isn’t even wearing a ring. COACH Not on his finger. COLE OH MY! As the ref continues the 10 count for Kareem, Mr. Dick slips inside to do a Pearl Harbor job, but gets spotted by Deuce. COLE Busted. COACH You gotta do something wrong before you can get busted. MD scans the canvas then flashes a nervous smile going seeking shelter behind a ringpost. COLE The only ring Mr. Dick found was the squared circle, and its currently owned by Deuce Deuce Bigelow. Kareem makes it back in the ring at the count of seven and the two super heavyweights proceed to trade blows. Deuce ultimately gets the better of the exchange and attempts an Irish whip, but Kareem reverses and delivers a clothesline that Deuce ducks. Neither man is able to prevent what happens next as they both take each other down simultaneously with clotheslines. COACH Timber! Outside, Malaysia wraps the CAT O’NINE TAILS around her hand. COLE What the heck is she doing? COACH Going to plan B. Malaysia waits for the right time to strike, which never comes because BIG PAPA THRUST feels her up. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Initially shocked, Malaysia cracks a smile when BPT flexes the largest arms in the galaxy. COLE Malaysia’s like a schoolgirl around Big Papa Thrust. COACH I think it’s allergies. BPT removes the whip from Malaysia’s arm and guides her hand across the 25” anacondas. Needless to say MD is irate. He tries to pull Malaysia to the other side and is denied. MISTER DICK I get it. You wanna let him down gently. (to BPT) See, she’s just not that into you. Instead of letting BPT down gently, Malaysia gently caresses his pecs! MISTER DICK A brawl ensues outside between MD and BPT, while in the ring Kareem blocks a dropkick by Deuce. Rather than follow-up Kareem goes near the ropes to view the fight and gets drilled in the groin by a discus punch BPT ducks! COACH Kareem got blasted with a FACIAL~! Kareem staggers into a body slam and then gets nailed by a TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT! COLE Funky Cold Medina! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * Deuce’s music plays as OAOAST officials rush to separate MD and BPT. BUFFER Here is your winner, advancing to the semifinal round of the King of the Ring… DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE BIGELOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Deuce advances to the next round of the King of the Ring. And what will it be like at the Great Angle Bash when Mr. Dick and Big Papa Thrust are on opposite sides in tag team competition?FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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