OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 5/19/11

[Tony149]

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

We cut to Sofa Central where Double sits, wearing Orange HeldDOWN polo shirts.

COLE
Coach, you know what? If one more person rams a shopping cart into my heel at the grocery store when I'm wearing flip flops I'm going to lose my mind.

COACH
You a man wearing flip flops? Keep your homo ass in check around me, or I'll smack the semen out your mouth with a shovel. That said, we've got one hell of a show for you tonight. If you're like me and you've been waiting for someone to beat up that smug punk Simon Singleton, you're going to enjoy this match.

TONIGHT
SIMON SINGLETON VS LEON RODEZ
TONIGHT!

ALSO TONIGHT
BIFFMAN VS REJECT
TONIGHT!

*Give me fuel
Give me fire
Give me that which I desire!*

BUFFER
The following NON-TITLE match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Sacramento, California, weighing 215 pounds… JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRRICKSSSSSSTOOOOOONNNNNN!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAA… UHHHHHHHH?"

Brickston marches ringside and is all business once inside the squared circle.

COLE
What an opportunity has here tonight. A win and he’s right back in the mix of things.

COACH
A task easier said than done considering who his opponent is.

“Sympathy for the Devil” hits and the Billion Dollar Heir walks down the aisle full of swagger.

BUFFER
And his opponent, representing THE ENTERPRISE… from Vero Beach, Florida, weighing 236 pounds, the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Moneymaker takes a good look at Brickston and laughs.

COLE
We’ll see if Theodore Moneymaker is still laughing at the end of the match.

COACH
It’s non-title, Cole. What’s the worst that can happen? I take that back. Losing to a guy like Brickston is the worst thing that can happen.

* DINGDINGDING *

The competitors lockup and Moneymaker rakes Brickston across the eyes. Moneymaker shoots Brickston into the ropes following a series of rights, but Brickston ducks a back elbow and connects with a clothesline. Brickston introduces Moneymaker’s face to the buckle and then whips him to the far corner, only to eat a knee to the face. Moneymaker charges out and into a POWERSLAM!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Brickston sends Moneymaker for the ride and executes a BAAAAAACK body drop. Moneymaker lures Brickston to the corner and catches him with a kick to the gut, followed by knife edge chops that garner chants of “WHOOOOOO!”

COACH
Teddy’s back in the driver’s seat, Mikey Cole.

The tables turn and Brickston hammers Moneymaker in the corner. Brickston shoots Moneymaker in for another backdrop, but this time Moneymaker connects with a kick to the chest and back elbow that levels Brickston. Moneymaker drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS and makes the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Moneymaker positions himself in the corner and waits for a groggy Brickston to return to his feet before applying the Cobra Clutch!

COLE
Theodore Moneymaker has Brickston locked in THE BANK VAULT!

COACH
And he’s got it right smack in the middle of the ring. Brickston’s got no choice but to submit or be put to sleep.

Brickston makes a play for the ropes, but as Coach said, he’s trapped mid-ring. With no place to turn Brickston reluctantly submits.

* DINGDINGDING *

Moneymaker drops Brickston like a bad habit as “Sympathy for the Devil” hits.

BUFFER
Here is your winner… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Moneymaker’s hand is raised in victory and exits proudly holding the U.S. title high in the air.

Suddenly MR. DICK, MALAYSIA and KAREEM hit the ring.  

COLE
What’s the meaning of this? They have no business out here!

COACH
My best guess is Mr. Dick and company heard Brickston is one of Deuce’s partners at School’s Out. After all, they’ve come to each other’s aid in recent weeks.

COLE
Which Brickston is unfortunately going to pay for.  

Malaysia floors Brickston with a Yakuza kick to the chest, which Mr. Dick follows with the JACKHAMMER and then a XXXL Splash courtesy of Kareem!

“YOU SUCK, DICK!”
“YOU SUCK, DICK!”
“YOU SUCK, DICK!”

Kareem is directed up top and he drops a big load on Brickston.

COACH
The Money Shot!

COLE
Somebody get in there and stop this, damnit!

“Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” hits and the place comes alive.

DEUCE
You’re cold. Very, very cold! So let me clue you in on what’s flaming hot. He ain’t my partner. As a matter of fact, my teammates at School’s Out ain’t even on the active roster. But one of them can’t wait to meet you.

MD points to himself and mouths “Me?”

DEUCE
Her.

MALAYSIA


MD grabs a mic.

MISTER DICK
Who’s the son of a bitch? Tell me!

DEUCE
You’ll find out at School’s Out. In the meantime, he asked that I deliver this.

Deuce slides a package into the ring with a message that reads “HANDLE W/CARE.”

COACH
What could it be, Cole?

COLE
I have no idea. So far Malaysia’s secret admirer has sent her roses, a box of chocolates and lingerie.

COACH
Sexy lingerie.

Malaysia opens her gift and pulls out a GLASS DILDO with the initials “BPT” engraved.

MISTER DICK


“Big Pimpin'“ by Jay-Z blares in the background as MD throws a fit. Malaysia doesn’t seem to mind the gift, though.

COLE
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, something like that happens.

COACH
I’m speechless, Mikey Cole. Speechless.

COLE
The whole OAOAST Galaxy is I’d say. Stay with us, ladies and gentlemen. Who knows what else might happen tonight! Stick around!

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Back to the interview lounge we go, with Maggie Nerdly stood with a suited Christian Wright.

MAGGIE
Alright party people! It's your girl on the scene Maggie Nerdly, once again, feeling a little loopy cause you know every girl goes crazy about a sharp dressed man. Christian, I'm gonna level with you here, if you can tone it down with the big words a little, that'd be real helpful.

WRIGHT
You expect me to curtail my vast intellect, merely to pander to your lack of perspicacity?

MAGGIE
Now, see, that's kinda what I'm talkin' about right there.

Christian sighs.

MAGGIE
Alright. Whatever, professor. Tell me this. You had an awesome winning streak going for over a year and now, it's over. And the guy who ended it was your boss, Ted Moneymaker. By rolling you up and cheating to beat you. Now, what's the deal with you two now? Are you still working for him? Are you not pissed?

CHRISTIAN
Listen young lady, I...

Suddenly, Christian trails off as BOHEMOTH walks into shot! Bo stares down his former running buddy and Christian, perhaps wisely, grabs his briefcase and hurries off.

MAGGIE
Uhh, dude, I was trying to do an intervi...

Bohemoth snatches the microphone away from Maggie and she too wisely disappears, fast.

BOHEMOTH
It's all... about... ME!

Bohemoth stares into the camera for a few seconds, before dropping the microphone and leaving.

[Tony149]

"Slither" powers through the arena and the giant snake's head bares it's fangs, bringing out Simon Singleton ready for action.

BUFFER
The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Orange County, California! Weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds... he is one half of the ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS... SSSSSSIIIIIIIIMMMMOOOOOOONN... SSSIIIIIIIIIIINNGGLLLLEEEEEEETTOOOOOOOOOONN!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
No Ned and no Molly here tonight, all outside parties banned from ringside for this one. But somewhere close by, Ned Blanchard is watching and waiting, just incase.


"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone
And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long
Just tryin' to find my way back home
But the old me's dead and gone
Dead and gone, dead and gone..."

The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Leon Rodez slowly makes his way out and makes a cold, calm walk to the ring, in no rush and definately not eager to impress. Coming to a stop, he looks out at the crowd, then up into the skies, which flash bright white.

"I'VE BECOME SO NUMB
I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE
BECOME SO TIRED
SO MUCH MORE AWARE!
I'M BECOMING THIS
ALL I WANT TO DO
IS BE MORE LIKE ME
AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!"

BUFFER
And ladies and gentlemen, on his way to the ring... from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He weighs two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Leon approaches the ring, making sure Simon is kept at bay as he enters.

COLE
They say you reap what you sow in life and that's certainly true for Leon Rodez. The man who walked out on Alix and The Cobras at AngleMania, claiming that match represented "no value" for him. Well, he lost out on the World Title and now, he's having to confront the people he walked out on a couple of months ago.


*DINGDINGDING*

Leon slowly skulks out of his corner, a narrow glare aimed at Singleton. The two tease a knucklelock, but Rodez gives Simon a leg kick instead.

"LE - ON SUCKS!"
"LE - ON SUCKS!"
"LE - ON SUCKS!"
"LE - ON SUCKS!"

Backing off after the kick, Leon sizes Simon up again and tries another kick. This time Singleton avoids it though, grabbing Leon in a rear waistlock. Rodez fights it and manages to twist his way out, going behind on Simon. Looking for an escape of his own, Simon reaches through his legs and grabs Leon's ankle, tripping him up. Leon quickly kicks out though, sending Simon sprawling forward and out through the ropes.

COLE
Outside goes Simon, managed to save himself though...

But not for long, as when Simon goes to jump back in, Rodez is waiting on him! Leon feeds Simon back inside, through the ropes, draping him across the middle...



...but Simon unhooks his feet and counters, sending Leon up and over the top with a BACKDROP!

COLE
And now Leon outside, a little less ceremoniously!

As Rodez picks himself up, Singleton hits the ropes and launches himself with a TOPÉ!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Big dive from the big B.O.S.S!

COACH
Threw himself at Leon like I throw myself at women. Hard and fast!

COLE
And without any warning or consent, but that's neither here nor there.

Simon throws Leon back into the ring and looks to take another risk, heading to the top as Leon picks himself up. Simon gets his balance and catches Rodez as he turns around with a high crossbody from the top!!


1...


2...


NO!

With a quick boot, Simon sends Leon back a step, giving him room to turn and hit the ropes. Shaking it off, Leon intends to cut Singleton off with a well-placed knee. However it's also well telegraphed and Simon manages to float over into a schoolboy!


1...


2...


NO!

Rodez retreats into a corner. Simon runs in and attempts a monkey flip out, but gets caught, placed on the turnbuckle and cracked across the chest with a chop.

COLE
Ooh! Leon was ready for that one.

After taking a moment to compose himself Rodez follows Simon up the ropes in the corner. Once on his level, Leon delivers a big right hand. And another one. Rodez then hooks Simon in a front facelock. Sensing trouble, Singleton starts to fight back. Rapping Leon across the ribs with a couple of shots, Simon is able to push Leon off, sending him crashing down to the canvas!

COLE
Simon may be going for it early here! Could be Blockbuster time!

COACH
Better run, Leon!

As he gets back up, Leon looks up at Singleton. And seeing him ready to leap, he wisely bails!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Simon has to re-steady himself and adjusts, grabbing hold of Leon, who has scurried out onto the apron to his right. Simon fires away with some left hands, from an awkward position. But Leon suddenly reaches out and gives Singleton a shove, enough to cause him to fall back and GUT himself across the metal part of top turnbuckle!!

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Groaning in pain, Singleton remains hung over the turnbuckle, as Leon climbs back in and gets a run-up, on a big KNEELIFT TO THE RIBS!!

COLE
Simon, wide open for that shot! And Rodez, taking full advantage of that opportunity, as you'd expect from him.

COACH
You say that like it's a bad thing. Taking advantage of opportunities is what this game's all about.

COLE
Well, taking advantage of someone who's hung over the ropes isn't exactly 'fair', Coach.

Slumping back inside, over the ropes, Simon is dragged out and covered...


1...


2...


NO!

Leon has his target now though, attacking the ribs with some primative overhand blows on the mat. Turning Simon over, Rodez then places a knee in the back and pulls back in a modified camel clutch.

ROBINSON
What do you say, Simon?

SINGLETON
NO!

Simon refuses to give in, as Leon determinedly pulls back on the hold.

COLE
Somewhere Ned is watching this and must be stewing, waiting for his opportunity to get at Rodez.

COACH
Well, he's gonna have to wait. You know what they agreed, Ned wouldn't be out here.

COLE
No, he's guarding the exit doors, make sure Rodez doesn't do another sudden disappearing act.

Realising he's not going to get a submission, Leon gives up the hold and delivers an elbow drop to the small of the back. Simon clutches his back, as Rodez flips him over and stomps him in the stomach. Leon then backs up, lifting himself onto the middle turnbuckle. With a look of contempt to the crowd, Rodez comes off with a flying elbow! Not impressed, the St. Louis fans boo, as Rodez walks around, surveying the scene.

COACH
Leon is ice cold, man. He don't care what these people think. It's all white noise to him now.

Leon calmly paces, allowing Simon to get to his feet. Once up, Singleton is attacked with the MMA style knees to the ribs. Two of them leave Simon hunched over on one knee. Rodez then whips Simon into the corner and follows in with a Superman Spear!! Simon falls to the mat, Leon hovering over him and seething under his breath.

COACH
You think Ned's still desperate to get in the ring with this dude now?

COLE
Oh, I'm sure of it. Nobody's doubting Leon's ability, or the fact that he's a dangerous competitor in that ring. But Ned Blanchard fears nobody, trust me.

Dragging him up, Leon gives Simon a vertical suplex and goes for the cover...


1...


2...


NO!

Slowly and deliberately, Leon drags Simon up again. The Cobra has some venom left and fights back, catching Leon with a couple of jabs to the stomach. Rodez cuts him off though and knocks the wind out of Simon with another knee strike.

COLE
One thing about Leon now, he is absolutely focused in that ring.

Hooking him up one more time, Rodez lifts Simon up for another suplex... NO! Simon floats over and lands behind! Caught by surprise, Leon wheels around...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and Simon catches him with a chop!


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and another one! Just as Leon seems to be rocking though, he surprises Simon with a rolling sobat to the gut!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Leon looks down at his chest, scowling at the pain he's been caused. He then turns and hits the ropes, but Singleton comes to life with a dropkick!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Whoa! Where'd that come from!?

COLE
You know Simon's got fight in him too! He may not be as brash as Ned, but he's just as much of a competitor!

Both men fight to their feet as the referee begins his count. He barely reaches four before both are up. Simon has some momentum now, ducking underneath a clothesline from Leon and issuing one of his own! Simon then shoots Leon into the ropes and sends him flying with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Suddenly, Leon is on the defensive and retreats into a corner, with Singleton ready to throw down.

COLE
Nowhere to run now, Leon!

Backed into a corner, Rodez is peppered with jabs, both to the body and to the head! Simon fires Leon out, into the opposite corner. As he bounces out, Leon then gets caught with an inverted atomic drop... and a big right hand to the temple, knocking him down!

COLE
Simon is FIRING UP!

Leon is reeling and is forced to go to the EYES!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

With Simon blinded temporarily, Leon goes for a back suplex. Simon floats over and lands behind again though. And he runs Leon into the ropes for an O'Connor roll!


1...



2...



NO!

Simon runs at Leon, looking for a clothesline, but gets caught! However, he manages to fight his way out of an Exploder and gives Leon a German in response, with a bridge!!

COLE
Nice!


1...



2...



NO!

Stumbling around, Leon is fed a leg and takes it, earning him an ENZIGURI!!

*CRACK!*

COLE
There was some VENOM in that one!

COACH
Because of the whole cobra thing, yeah, very clever.

Rolling underneath the bottom rope, Leon comes to his senses on the outside... and decides he's had enough!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Oh, come on! Not again!

As Simon watches on in disgust, Leon staggers back up the aisle, apparantly having had enough for one night. Or, so he thinks. As he approaches the stage, Rodez looks up and sees NED BLANCHARD blocking his exit route! Leon stops halfway up the aisle, seeing Ned. And he suddenly has second thoughts about leaving. Which is good, as Simon runs up from behind and sends him into the barricade, before dragging him back to the ring!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Now, wait a minute! Ned wasn't supposed to be out here!

COLE
And Leon wasn't supposed to be able to run away. Now he's got no option!

Simon rolls back in and starts firing away on Leon with right hands, then sends him to the ropes. But he ducks his head early and Leon capitalises with a kick. Leon then charges, into a POWERSLAM!


1...



2...



NO!!

Ned hangs out on the stage, now routing his tag team partner on. With the support behind him, not just Ned but from the crowd, Singleton goes up one more time.

COLE
Here we go!

From the middle rope, Simon "rolls camera", old school NNMX style and comes off with the BLOCKBUSTER...




...NO! Leon drops out of the way and Singleton takes a big flip and an even bigger fall!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Less of a Blockbuster, more of a bust.

Sitting up in pain, Simon leaves himself prone for the SLIDING LARIAT from Rodez! Cover...


1...



2...



NO!

COLE
Simon digging deep though!

COACH
Yeah well, he better keep digging.

Looking up the ramp, Leon locks eyes with Blanchard and scowls. Eyes still fixed, Rodez picks Singleton up off the mat. Gripping him behind the head, he delivers a knee strike! And a second! A third! And then a fourth! Followed by a rolling sobat! Simon falls to one knee, but gets picked back up, onto the shoulders for a Gutbuster!

COLE
Look out!

Stopping, Leon looks over his shoulder, one more glance aimed at Ned, before he changes aim to Simon... for the ROLLING SOBAT TO THE HEAD!!!

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
ONE HIT KILL!

COLE
That's got to do it!

Leon makes a lateral press...


1...




2...




3!!!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the ma...

COLE
WHOA WHOA WHOA!

Suddenly the crowd pop as NED HITS THE RING! Ned gets a hold of Leon and they go toe to toe, exchanging right hands!! Ned starts to get the better of the exchange, Leon happily taking a fall, allowing him to scramble outside! Leon then bails over the barricade, with Ned in pursuit, until Leon takes off into the crowd!

COLE
Leon is not hanging around for long!

COACH
I don't blame him! Take your win, man! And get the heck out of dodge!

Ned opts not to take the fight into the stands and rolls back in to check on Simon. He looks up, watching Leon, as The Fallen Idol slinks through the crowd, brushing off the attentions of his former fanbase as he backs slowly away.

COLE
Leon gets away tonight. But the day is coming, real soon, for him and Ned Blanchard. And believe me, he's in for a fight, whether he wants it or not!

[Tony149]

COLE
Once again we'd like to remind you to join us for School's Out, live on Pay Per View next Sunday night. It's shaping up to be a very exciting night as we've just been informed, confirmed for School's Out, one on one, Leon Rodez taking on Ned Blanchard.

COACH
And maybe next Sunday, it'll be Ned who ends up wanting to run away.

COLE
I sincerely doubt that somehow. I...

"CUT TO ME! NOW! CUT TO ME!"

COLE
What the...

Suddenly, Cole and Coach's are interrupted and we cut to inside the production truck, where BOHEMOTH is towering over the director. Once the poor director has done as he's been told, Bo takes a step away and stares down the lens of the camera.

BOHEMOTH
IT'S ALL... ABOUT... ME!

Bohemoth continues to stare at the camera intensely, until the screen fades to commercial.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Backstage in the Enterprise locker room, the nefarious group of Colin Maguire Jr, Lorelei DeCenzo and OAOAST United States Champion himself Theodore Moneymaker are gathered around the long leather couch. Moneymaker looks impatient, as Spencer Reiger sits tapping on a laptop and sighing.

MONEYMAKER
Is this going to take much longer?

SPENCER
I don't know what the problem is. I burned the DVD and there were no problems. Now, it's not playing. There's no reason why it shouldn't be playing and yet, it's not.

(editor's note: welcome to real scenes out of my life )

MONEYMAKER
Okay, I am sick of dealing with you imbeciles, I'm out of here...

SPENCER
No, Ted, Ted, please!

Moneymaker glares at Spencer as he stands up from the laptop.

SPENCER
...Mister Moneymaker, sir. Please. Look, I don't know what's up with the laptop, but we can deal with that later. I've got it on my phone still. Just watch it.

COLIN
It'll be worth it boss. Trust me.

Sighing, Moneymaker shrugs as if to say "oh, alright then". Spencer hurriedly grabs his smartphone out of his pocket and taps at it excitedly, then hands the phone over to Lorelei. Slowly, Moneymaker and Lorelei watch the phone... and their eyes begin to grow wide... and then, wider still.

There's an awkward silence.

And then...



MONEYMAKER


LORELEI
Wow.

MONEYMAKER
Are you kidding me? This is real?

SPENCER
One hundred percent.

Moneymaker and Lorelei watch some more, one clearly more impressed than the other.

LORELEI
She has some terrible technique. Just awful. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

MONEYMAKER
I don't know... looks pretty good to me.

LORELEI
She's like a band camp girl who got lucky on prom night. Awkward, timid. Nothing like her mother. She may actually look more attractive with her clothes on too. Underdeveloped. To think, I thought Morgan was flat-chested.

SPENCER
Hey, knock it off, would you? She's my girlfriend.

Not sharing the misgivings that Lorelei apparantly has, Moneymaker hands the phone back over to Spencer with a smile.

MONEYMAKER
I'm so glad you came to me with this, Spencer. I knew, deep down, you understood what's really important in life. The pursuit of money. I misjudged you for a while. But, I was wrong. You have my complete backing on this my friend. Welcome back.

Moneymaker offers his hand to Spencer, who shakes, to Colin's delight.

SPENCER
It's good to be back. I just ask one thing. Make it tasteful as possible.

MONEYMAKER
Don't worry about that. The more tasteful, the better. Means more nickel and dime perverts will think it's a genuine leak and they'll be more interested. Which means more money. BWAHAHA! Listen, I'll set all the wheels in motion and we can start production in a few weeks, once some buzz has built up. After that... you're going to become a star, my friend! And we're all going to become even richer! BWAHAHAHA!!

COLIN
HAHA!

MONEYMAKER
Hmm. Yes. You sort out this technical issue and get back to me. And in the meantime, get me back those Tag Team Titles at School's Out too. I've got to go meet somebody about another 'business opportunity', so, if you'll excuse me...

Moneymaker makes his exit, leaving Spencer and Colin to try and figure out the laptop issue. As Moneymaker disappears down the hallway, out from behind a production crate peers MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD, having overheard the entire conversation, looking quite disgusted. She flips out her pink phone and tries to remain unnoticed.

MAYA
Tyler... it's Maya... I think we need to have another 'talk' with Jade.

[Tony149]

We see Queen Esther merrily making her way through the backstage area with a green potion in her hand. Not paying attention to where she’s going, she bumps into OSCAR FRIBERG!

QUEEN ESTHER
Oh dear heavens!

OSCAR
Sorry about that!

QUEEN ESTHER
You almost made me spill my latest concoction, a delicious potion designed to turn anyone who drinks it into a frog. Care to try?

OSCAR
Uh, no thanks.

Queen Esther stares at Oscar for a long hard moment. After that moment is up, her face becomes red with fury and alarmed with fright.

QUEEN ESTHER
Why, I know you! You’re Oscar Friberg. You beat my White Knight! Guards! Guards!  My life is in danger! A rapist is on the loose!

When Esther realizes there’s no guards forthcoming, she takes matters into her own hands and tries to shove the potion down Oscar’s mouth.

OSCAR
Ah! What is wrong with you?

QUEEN ESTHER
You are an enemy of the kingdom! And with my King in hiding….I mean….uh….with my king not….present….he’s most certainly not in hiding….leadership falls onto the Queen!

OSCAR
So?

QUEEN ESTHER
So?!! So prepare to be punished for your crimes against the Kingdom, lowly peasant!

OSCAR
I’m not going to fight you. You’re crazy. But, tell your white knight or any other knight that if they want a match with me, I’m ready and waiting.

Oscar walks off, with Queen Esther wondering why he didn’t turn into a frog.

[Tony149]

THE HEAVEN'S WILL OPEN
THE SEAS SHALL PART
HELL WILL FEEL NO GREATER FURY
EARTH SHALL ADORE NO GREATER BEING
FOR THE HARBINGER OF RAGNAROK IS SOON TO ARRIVE

HE IS COMING

We return to the arena floor to find Michael Buffer draped inside a purple spotlight.

BUFFER
The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada... weighing two hundred, eighteen pounds... "AFTER HOURS"... FFFEEEEELLLLIIIIIIXXXXXX... SSSSTTRRRUUUUUUTTEEEEERRRRR!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

As Strutter gestures to the crowd, "Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down hits. And in a much kinder gesture, Tim Cash makes his way to the ring, shaking hands and saying Hi to the fans as he passes.

BUFFER
And from Peoria, Illinois... he weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... ladies and gentlemen, he is wrestling's last real good guy... TTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM... CCAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Tim jumps into the ring and goes straight over to shake Strutter's hand, followed by the referee's. Tim waves to the crowd and prepares to get down to business.

COLE
Alright, Tim Cash set to go here against Felix Strutter. Looking to rebound from the disappointment of losing out in that US Title match at In Your Parent's Basement.


*DINGDINGDING*

With the match underway, Tim offers another handshake to start things off on the right foot. Strutter seems confused, having already shaken hands about ten seconds ago, but slaps the hand anyway. Tim then turns away and starts the crowd clapping along.

COLE
At least Tim's still in a good mood.

COACH
He's always in a good mood. And it sickens me.

Wanting to get on with things, Felix suddenly boots Tim in the gut as he turns around!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Felix fires away on Cash, rocking him with forearms. He backs Cash against the ropes and goes for an irish whip, but Tim baseball slides, killing his forward momentum. Strutter runs at him, but Tim cuts him off with an elbow, then surprises Strutter with a Backslide!


1...


2...


No!

Tim hooks Strutter for a suplex, but Strutter floats over the back, into a waistlock. Standing switch by Cash. Strutter blocks a German and rolls through, grabbing the legs and attempting a Boston Crab. Bridging up, Cash manages to pivot and turn his body though, flipping Strutter over with his leg power.

COLE
Quick pace here, these men very evenly matched.

Rolling back up, both men charge at each other. Tim ducks his head first, read by Strutter, who floats over with a sunset flip...


1...


2...


Cash kicks out and tries to slap on the MIDWEST SLING!

COLE
Uh oh! Going for it early!

Able to fight it off, Strutter kicks his way free. As he gets back up, Tim feeds him a leg and throws an Enziguri... but Strutter ducks and catches Cash in the STF!!

COLE
Strutter going for it early too!

COACH
And getting it!

Luckily for Cash he's close to the ropes and still with energy, he manages to crawl to the ropes and force a break. Felix hangs on an extra second or two before breaking, looking slightly annoyed. Back up, he stomps on Tim, not letting him up. Until the referee backs him off, at least. Tim pulls himself up on the ropes and Strutter gives him a forearm, then drags him out and hits a snap suplex. Cover...


1...


2...


No.

Strutter picks Cash back up and gives him a SITOUT POWERBOMB!


1...


2...


NO!

COLE
This is a big opportunity for Strutter too. I'm sure he'd love to get into the United States Title shake-up.

Strutter whips Cash into the corner and follows in, but Cash gets a knee up. Able to shake it off Strutter ducks a clothesline out of the corner and takes aim, firing off a Roundhouse Kick... but Tim ducks, then takes advantage of the open target and cracks Felix in the back of the head with the Backbrain Wheelkick!! Cover by Tim...


1...


2...


NO!

Going for another suplex, Tim tries, but can't get Strutter up. Strutter blocks a second time and starts firing at the ribs, trying to fight his way out. With Tim weakened, Felix decides to try a suplex of his own... but Tim rocks back and turns it into a small package!


1...


2...


Kickout!

Strutter quickly charges at Tim, but gets hooked for the CASHBACK!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

Cover by Tim again...


1...


2...


NO!

Tim looks disappointed, but quickly gets over it and waves Felix up.

COLE
These two laying it all out, this is what the OAOAST is all about!

COACH
No doubt.

As Felix gets up, Cash tries to trip his legs out. But Strutter blocks and catches Tim in a double underhook, looking for the Thunder Bay Throttle! Able to break free though, Tim sneaks behind and slaps on the Sleeper!

"YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Felix struggles for a moment, then sits out, jacking Tim's jaw!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Both men are dazed and try to shake out the cobwebs...




*SREEECH*

...when suddenly, "Where Would You Rather Be" hits!

COLE
...wait a minute!

Face like thunder, BOHEMOTH storms out and heads for the ring, with both Tim and Felix still seeing stars and not sure of what's going on. Bohemoth slides in and immediately LAYS OUT THE REFEREE!

COACH
Aw crap!

COLE
What the hell is this about!?

COACH
I don't know, but we probably ain't safe if we're out here!

Bo turns his attentions to Cash and levels him with a CLOTHESLINE! And then CLOTHESLINES Strutter as well!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Ranting and raving to himself, Bohemoth marches around the ring, waiting for one of the two to get up. Unfortunately for Tim, he does so first. Bo reaches out and grabs him by the throat, then gives him a huge CHOKESLAM!

COACH
Big Bo's on the warpath!

Strutter stumbles back up and into danger, as Bohemoth snatches him up into his arms. With a furious look in his eyes, Bohemoth swings Strutter around, out and most importantly DOWN into the canvas with the B-Trayal!!

BOHEMOTH
IT'S ALL... ABOUT... ME!!!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Looking down at the carnage he's caused, Bohemoth climbs out of the ring and walks to the back, head held high in spite of the derision he's getting from the crowd.

COLE
Wow. Bohemoth has just decimated this match! And left three bodies laying in the process!

COACH
Did you see his eyes? I've never seen Bohemoth this mad before. I mean, dude's never usually mad, he's always cool and collected... not no more!

COLE
And if we thought Bohemoth was a force to be reckoned with before, imagine what he could be capable of in this state!

Referees come out to attend to Cash, Strutter and the fallen referee in the ring.

COACH
If I were Krista, I'd be getting real worried, real quick.

LATER TONIGHT
BIFFMAN VS REJECT
TONIGHT!

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Deep within the darkest confines of the arena we find


LORELEI DECENZO

dragging along…


MORGAN NERDLY by her hair.

MORGAN
Let me go!

LORELEI
You want to pose like a whore, you’ll get treated like a whore!

Lorelei shoves Morgan through a door at the end of the dark hallway. Inside the room is several pieces of bondage equipment and more importantly the queen of bondage herself….


MALAYSIA

MALAYSIA
Why, Lorelei, you bought me a present.

LORELEI
Yes I did. She’s rather tiny, however.

MALAYSIA
I like the little ones. Don’t I, Morgan? Remember, how much fun I had with you when you were a kid?

MALAYSIA
I like them to come to me defiant. It turns me on when they have spirit and spunk. Because when they finally do break, and bend to my will the moment is so much sweeter and so much hotter.

LORELEI
Say something, Morgan!

MORGAN
Go to hell!

MALAYSIA
Heheheheh. You’re only making me hornier.

Malaysia grabs Morgan by the hair and raises her upright. Morgan stares defiantly into Malaysia’s eyes, nearly daring the dominatrix to make a move. Malaysia does indeed make a move, slinging Morgan onto a nearby couch with one rough flick of her wrist. Malaysia inches closer to her, her face taking the form of a sinister smile. Now Morgan looks nervous and afraid and shies away from Malaysia. But The Dominatrix pursues her, backing the frightened girl into the corner.

 MALAYSIA
Mmmmm. Do you want more?

MORGAN
Let me go!

LORELEI
Aren’t you going to punish the whore for talking back to you?

MALAYSIA
Yes, I believe I will. The slave must learn never to deny the master what she wants. But first…

Malaysia grabs Morgan again by her long flowing blond hair. She then guides her to the center of the room where a spanking rack awaits. Morgan’s eyes go wide with horror, and she struggles mightily to break away from Malaysia.

MALAYSIA
Ooooooh, how your struggling gets me so hot!

Malaysia overpowers Morgan’s minimal strength and bends her over the rack, without tightening the straps.

MALAYSIA
Open your mouth.

Morgan reluctantly opens her mouth and a moment later two of Malaysia’s fingers touch her red lips. Malaysia nods, and Morgan kisses her fingers, looking for approval. Malaysia smiles at her with an encouraging grin, and Morgan’s lips part to swallow Malaysia’s fingers. She closes in it with her lips, sucking an inch in, making a tight vacuum around her mouth. Malaysia moans in delicious delight, as she runs her fingers through Morgan’s golden hair. Morgan salivates all over her fingers until they’re slimy wet, her blue eyes never once leaving Malaysia. She furiously bobs back and forth, faster, sucking harder, until she has the entirety of Malaysia’s fingers stretching her mouth and cheeks. Malaysia finally pulls her fingers out, a string of saliva extending between them and Morgan’s mouth.

MORGAN
N-now-what?

Malaysia sinks her tongue into Morgan’s once vacated mouth, licking the walls of her cheeks and running her tongue along her tongue, Malaysia can’t resist a guttarl moaning when she realizes how deep her tongue is. She kisses expertly, wrapping her tongue around Morgan and almost pulling her tongue into her mouth where she sucked it hard. Finally she lets go of Morgan’s mouth. The littlest Nerdly already looks exhausted, which seems to please a smirking Lorelei a great deal.

MALAYSIA
Now sit on my lap.

Morgan is hesitant, hoping that simple non verbal refusal will diffuse the request. She encounters no such luck, as she watches Malaysia sit down on the harness. Wrapping her hands around Morgan’s waist, the dominatrix forces Morgan’s body onto her lap. The sight of Morgan’s little frame on her muscular body drives Malaysia wild with glee.

MALAYSIA
Ride me!

MORGAN
Ride you?

MALAYSIA
Do it! Unless you rather ride one of my toys? And I don’t think they’d be very pleasant for a girl your size.

MORGAN
….no, I’ll do it.

Morgan's tiny body jumps up and down on Malaysia's lap, causing the dominatrix a wealth of pleasure. Malaysia tosses her head back and giggles, as Morgan bounces in a sensual rhythm. She grabs the littler girls' arms, and squeezes them tightly, effectively controlling Morgan's speed and keeping her at the thrilling speed she wants.

MALAYSIA
Harder!

Morgan bucks and grinds like a wild bronco, doing her best to give Malaysia what she wants, her blond hair being tossed in every which way She begins slamming more ferociously into Malaysia, making the rack thump along with the noise of her skin crashing into Malaysia's muscular body. Her ass jerks wildly in circles and she shrieks in delirious pain as Malaysia digs her nails into her back.

LORELEI
You know how it feels to be pose like a whore. How does it feel to be treated like one?

Morgan stops riding Malaysia and turns a nasty eye onto Lorelei.

MORGAN
Shut up!

MALAYSIA
I don’t believe I told you to stop riding me! For that you must be punished.

MORGAN
Wait! Please!  No!

Morgan is grabbed by Malaysia and lifted off her lap. Despite her struggles, whines, and protests, she’s fastened into the spanking harness. Lorelei smiles an evil grin, as she passes Malaysia her whip.

MALAYSIA
Now we get to play!

Malaysia runs the head of the crop over the tight fabric of Morgan’s skirt, while Morgan’s wide eyes stare back at her over her trembling shoulder. Malaysia flicks the whip at the roundest part of her ass, just a quick sharp sting, and Morgan yelps in pain.

MALAYSIA
Silence! Wiggle your ass for me.

Morgan remains as still as a sculpture.

LORELEI
Are you going to let her defy you like that?

Malaysia angrily gives Morgan another stinger, and she whines, finally wiggling her ass back at the dominatrix. Malaysia gets behind the nervous lass and works her skirt up over her hips, leaving it bunched at her waist. She admires Morgan’s black panties, as tight as a shadow against her creamy white flesh, through which Malaysia could see the angry red marks the whip had left. Malaysia runs her hands over Morgan’s hot tight buttocks, causing Morgan to shiver and shy away from the touch.

MALAYSIA
Don’t ever shy away from me.

Malaysia begins rhythmically slamming the whip into Morgan’s butt, using a deliberate powerful pace to punish the aching girl. A deep moan comes from Morgan’s lips with each shot, her body reacting to the leather bouncing off her ass.

LORELEI
Enough.

Lorelei steps forward, her cold eyes taking in the sight of Morgan’s trembling body. A smile passes across her lips, as she looks at Morgan’s defeated and humiliated face.

LORELEI
You like being a slut. Let’s see how you like what’s next.

Malaysia holds Morgan tightly, pressing her strong hands against the flesh of her small hips. She hears a devilish chuckle come from behind her, and sees Lorelei staring at her with victorious contempt. All of a sudden, Morgan feels the violent force of Malaysia slamming against her tiny body.

MALAYSIA
Tell us what a whore you are! Tell us!

Morgan feels Malaysia’s nails dig into her sweaty sore ass cheeks, as the dominatrix’s pelvis powers into her weak body. Malaysia rams herself against Morgan, relishing the feel of her little sister’s delicate body being violated in such a manner. Morgan howls in frustration, as Malaysia’s fingers dig through her butt cheeks.

MALAYSIA
Lorelei, will you shut this slut up?

Lorelei jams a rubber rod against Morgan’s lips. At first Morgan resists but the force is too much to bear and Morgan’s lips are pried open. Her mouth filled with this thick tool, Morgan sees a stream of saliva roll down it and her lower chin. She swallows to keep more of the jucies from flowing down her chin, and feels her throat contract around the object as Lorelei hisses in pleasure. Morgan’s hot tongue licks and swirls around the rod, while it pumps in out of her mouth. She moans and grunts in a very unladylike fashion, as the jamming and thrusting rod fills the entirety of her mouth. She squirms and writhes in helpless response to Malaysia’s ceaseless and brutal pounding.

LORELEI
How do you like being a whore?

MAGGIE (OS)
As much as you’re going to like this!

LORELEI


Lorelei turns around and is smacked in the face by a steel chair from Maggie!

MALAYSIA
Another tiny plaything.

MAGGIE
I don’t think so.

Maggie slams the chair into Malaysia’s face, toppling the evil dominatrix. She quickly begins unhooking Morgan from the spanking rack.

MAGGIE
Sorry, I didn’t get here sooner, I couldn’t pick the lock. Are you okay?

MORGAN
....I think so.

Maggie hugs her sister, and helps her out the room.

COLE
I...I....can't believe what Lorelei and Malaysia just did.

COACH
Neither can I, Mikey. They could've at least given me forewarning so I could have some tissues ready. Now, I've got semen all over the damn place. Do you have a handkerchief I could borrow? Or some sort of rag? I mean, its everywhere!

COLE
Damn you.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

The sounds of troubled streets, police alarms and fleeing citizens, can be heard through the arena. A woman screams as a single spotlight searches around the arena. Eventually it focuses on the ceiling, shining a giant "A". A triumphant fanfare sounds before "The Power" hits and Biffman answers his call to duty! Biffman places his hands on his hips in a heroic pose and looks to the skies, before marching to the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring, from Venice Beach, California, he is BIFFFFFFMMAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!

Melody and her big beautiful bouncy breasts arrive at Biffman’s side in a skimpy and tight Ninja Turtles t-shirt.

COACH
That shirt is tight enough to have been painted on and small enough to be a necklace! I love it!

Biffman reaches the top rope and poses heroically for the cheering audience. On the outside Melody applauds him, and offers him strong words of encouragement.

COLE
Well, Biffman all set to take on Reject of The Church of Abdullah. That’s a group that Biffman has had his fair share of problems with this year.

COACH
That’s because he’s an idiot, who turned down a great chance to advance his go nowhere career.

by 30 Seconds To Mars plays to massive amount of jeers from the St.Louis audience. The lights disappear as a silver spotlight illuminates entrance way. The doors spread apart, allowing a scowling Reject to emerge with Abdullah Abir Nerdly smiling at his side. The R-Man traverses to the ring with intent playing upon his face, as the fans continue to throw insults and jeers at him.

COLE
Here we see Reject, two time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. And of course Abdullah Abir Nerdly, a man who got into a spat with Oscar winner Natalie Portman on Syndicated.

BUFFER
And the opponent, from The Bronx, he is accompanied by Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly, he is a two time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion…..REEEEEJJJJJEEECCCCCTTTT!

Reject climbs into the ring, and climbs on the buckles, staring out into the people with disdain. Meanwhile, Abdullah joins the team at Sofa Central.

COACH
Colonel Abdullah! What a treat!

COLE
Colonel, I understand that ThunderKid will be the one to face Alix Maria Spezia at School’s Out.  Why choose ThunderKid?

ABDULLAH
God chose ThunderKid, my child.
 
DING DING DING

A lockup starts the contest, and sees Reject gain the upperhand by shoving Biffman into the corner. The two tussle and jostle, moving their way down the ropes into the next corner. Biffman winds up with his back against the ring posts, causing referee Clem Buzzlefoxer to call for a break. Reject gives into the request and breaks the hold. Mere seconds later another lockup is held. Both performers struggle against one another with Biffman forcing Reject to the center of the ring.  With no clear cut winner, the two wrestlers break their hold.

REJECT
That all you got, BITCHman?

Biffman shows he’s got plenty more by decking Reject with a right hand!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Reject promptly rolls beneath the ropes, lest he incur any further attacks. He’s derided by the crowd as he stomps about the ring area.

COLE
Reject doesn’t like to get hit in that pretty face.

COACH
Did you just call him pretty?

COLE
Um….no.

Reject finally returns to the ring, running at Biffman with a lariat.  Biffman ducks the attack and runs to the ropes. He leaps onto the third one and moonsaults over Reject’s body. When a stunned Reject turns around he’s nailed in the face by a dropkick!

COLE
Super agility by Biffman!

ABDULLAH
That is a power granted to him by the devil.

Biffman strikes a heroic pose!

“BIFFMAN! BIFFMAN! BIFFMAN!”

ABDULLAH
Posing shows a distinct lack of class, and an absence of humility that comes with spiritual enlightenment.

Biffman picks Reject up, only to be thumbed in the eye by The R-Man.  The super hero staggers into the corner where Reject takes aim with a series of right hands. Biff fires back with a pair of chops, but his resistance is cut short when he’s shot into the ropes. The Venice Beach native moves too fast for Reject, though, and strikes him with a running high knee!

COLE
Up and Atlas!

COACH
Curse the maker!

Reject staggers upright, only to be ran through by a lariat. He gets back to his feet, and another lariat crashes him to the canvas. A pinfall is then made….

ONE!


TWO!


Kickout!


Biffman pulls Reject off the canvas and throws him into the ropes. Reject hooks onto the cables so that he doesn’t return to his foe. This is of no concern to the super hero, as he charges forward with a clothesline. But Reject dips down and Biffman is upended over the ropes! Luckily he’s able to come down on his red boots.

COACH
The Biff Atlas of old never would’ve been able to land on his boots.

ABDULLAH
That is because the Biff Atlas of old did work in concert with Satan.

Reject stuns Biffman by driving his neck into top cable. Biffman hangs on the top rope, dazed and wounded from the sudden attack. Seeing this, Reject strikes fast; he nails Biffman in the face with a dropkick! Biffman is flung off the apron and slams into the steel guardrail. Folded up on the floor, Biffman howls in pain.

COACH
What kind of superhero is gonna lie there on the floor like a bitch, whining and crying?

ABDULLAH
Biffman is no superhero, my child, he is a superdemon , and the work of holy man Reject is like kryptonite to him.

Reject scrapes Biffman off the blue ring mats and returns him to the ring. After getting into the squared circle himself, Reject pins Biffman to the canvas…

ONE!


TWO!

Biffman lifts the shoulder off the canvas.  This annoys Reject, who proceeds to batter Biffman with stomps to every single body part of Biffman.  Once that concludes he attempts another cover…..

ONE!


TWO!

Biffman again escapes the pinfall.

“LET’S GO BIFFMAN! LET’S GO BIFFMAN! LET’S GO BIFFMAN!”

ABDULLAH
These lost and wayward souls need to come to my ministries so that I may give them the good word and they can cheer for brother Reject.

Reject pulls Biffman up by the back of his mask, and hooks him into a front facelock. He grabs onto his right leg and stares out with a wicked smile at the audience. From there he drills Biffman into the canvas with a Fisherman’s Buster!

COLE
Baptism of the Dead!

Reject makes a rather casual cover of Biffman…

ONE!


TWO!

Biffman’s shoulders come off the canvas, popping the crowd.

COACH
Colonel, I understand that Biffman will be in Alix’s corner at School’s Out.

ABDULLAH
Good! We can destroy two of the lord’s enemies at the same time.

Biffman is brought to his feet and tagged with two punches from Reject. The third one is blocked, however, and much to the crowd’s delight Biffman begins fighting back! His comeback attempt is shortlived, though, thanks to Reject dropping him with a spinning side kick! Reject then twists around and hits a beautiful leg drop. A pinfall is made and Buzzlefoxer gets into position to count it…..

ONE!



TWO!



NO!!!!

Biffman is tightened into a reverse chinlock by the two time world champion. The superhero’s face contorts in anguish as Reject squeezes onto his neck.

COLE
Colonel Abdullah, Holly had some choice words for Alix’s guest on Syndicated Natalie Portman. How do you feel about that?

ABDULLAH
I feel that Holly is enthusiastic and steadfast in her spiritual beliefs and she was greatly insulted to see Miss Portman side with a sinner. Hopefully in the future, Miss Portman will rethink her alliances!

Reject rips at Biffman’s neck, almost as though he were trying remove his head.   But, Biffman fights through the anguish and works his way to his feet.  Rooted on by Melody and the crowd, he begins sending a wave of punches into Reject’s face.  With Reject stunned Biffman fires off a standing clothesline. But Reject ducks the attack, and lifts Biffman into the air in set up for an atomic drop. However, much to everyone’s delight Biffman flips out the hold!

MELODY
Use your power of microwave emission!

BIFFMAN
I don’t believe I have that power, Citizen Melody.

MELODY
Oh. Well dropkick him in the back then.

Biffman hits Reject square in the back with a nice dropkick.  Despite the pain from the hold, Reject is back onto his feet. He doesn’t remain standing for long, thanks to Biffman surging forward and upending him a clothesline! Melody celebrates by bouncing up and down, sending her huge hooters jumping and swinging.

COLE
No hate on Reject, but Biffman should go on the offense more often if its going to result in Melody doing that.

Biffman whips Reject into the corner, following him in with a shoulder charge straight to his midsection.  Reject is then hurled across the ring into the opposite corner. Biffman runs after him, but eats a boot to his face. He staggers backwards, causing Reject to dart towards him. Biffman recovers and catches onto his waist, using the grip to upend him with a side belly to belly suplex! The cover is made, as Melody and the crowd count along….

ONE!


TWO!

Kickout!

Reject is brought to his feet, and sent into the ropes.  But when he returns to Biffman he knocks him off his feet with a leaping sidekick!

ABDULLAH
Hollywood is a place devoid of moral fiber and spiritual character it doesn’t surprise me that Natalie Portman would support a wretched sinner like Alix Maria Spezia.

Reject lies in wait, anxiously anticipating Biffman’s rise so that he may hit the Eulogy.  Biffman finally rises, and Reject springs into action, leaping at him for a Eulogy.  But Biffman counters with a lungblower!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans and Melody cheer.

Biffman hooks onto a standing Reject in an inverted DDT set up. But Reject powers out the hold. Yet, he can offer no offense as Biffman stabs him the gut with a red boot.  Biffman then attempts to whip Reject into the corner, but Reject reverses the hold. After Biffman slams into the corner, Reject rushes in with a splash. But an elbow from the superhero wards him off.

COLE
Fast paced action here on HeldDOWN~!

Biffman leaps onto the third rope, and flies off with an axe handle smash. But Reject counters with a magnificent Eulogy!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!”

ABDULLAH


Reject crawls on top of Biffman for the pinfall….

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!

DING DING DING

BUFFER
Your winner as a result of a pinfall….REJECT!

ABDULLAH
Praise be to brother Reject! The ultimate villain has been defeated in the name of the ultimate hero, our lord and savoir.

As “Stronger” plays over the sound system, Reject motions to backstage area.

COLE
Reject seems to be summoning someone.

The audience puts forth a wave of jeers as ThunderKid comes charging down the entrance ramp with a lead pipe in hand. He slides into the ring, while Biffman struggles to get to his feet.

COLE
Come on, Abdullah, don’t let it go this far!

ThunderKid raises his lead pipe, ready to strike Biffman with a devastating blow. But ALIX grabs the pipe out of ThunderKid’s hands!

ABDULLAH
What is this she devil doing in the ring?!!!

Alix wacks ThunderKid upside the head to a grand ovation from the sold out St.Louis crowd. Reject senses that things aren’t going to go his way and quickly bails out the ring to join Abdullah’s side.

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

Alix and Melody check on Biffman’s health as a frustrated Reject and ThunderKid retreat

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

*SREEECH*

"Where Would You Rather Be" powers through the arena and to a chorus of boos, Bohemoth heads to the ring. And not for the first time tonight.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... BOOOO - HHHEEEEEEMMMMOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
Well, all night Bohemoth has done his level best to disrupt this programme. He's interrupted an interview, he interrupted us, he interrupted a match and destroyed everyone in his path. Clearly, Bohemoth is trying to send a message to OAOAST management.

COACH
A very simple, four word message.

A scowling Bohemoth stops and looks into the crowd, before he jogs up the steps and into the ring. Bohemoth grabs the discarded microphone and stares out into the arena.

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

Waiting for the crowd to quiet down, Bo paces back and forth patiently.

COLE
We may have to get used to this, if Bohemoth becomes the World's Champion at School's Out. Then it really will be his show.

Bo waits his time, until finally the crowd start to simmer down and raises the microphone to his lips...




...but just then, the LIGHTS GO OUT!

COLE
...what the...

The crowd whoop and holler in the darkness, expecting something. However, the lights come back up and Bohemoth is simply standing in the ring, looking confused. Bo looks up at the lighting rig accusingly, annoyed at being cut off, before shaking it off and trying again.

BOHEMOTH
I...


*BOOM~!*

*BOOM!*

*BOOM~!*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BOOM~!*
*BAAAAANG~!~!~!*


Flinching at the huge, impromptu pyrotechnic display, Bohemoth regains his composure and starts screaming at random people at what just happened.

COLE
Who's the trigger happy pyro guy!?

COACH
I don't know but he damn near gave me a heart attack!

Now getting seriously annoyed, Bohemoth raises the microphone again.

BOHEMOTH
I AM...


Give me those bright lights, long nights
High rise, over time
Give me them bright lights, long nights
Party till the sun is rising
High rise, over time
Working till the moon is shining
Hot guys, fly girls
Never thought I'd say
I feel on top of the world
I feel on top of the world Hey

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

BOHEMOTH


COACH
Well, this explains a lot.

Bohemoth looks on, bug-eyed with rage, as the World Champion Krista Isadora Duncan casually strolls out onto the stage, whistling innocently and twirling a microphone in her hand. Bohemoth tries to yell something her way, but finds his MICROPHONE HAS BEEN MUTED! The bigman hurls it aside and throws a fit, as Krista watches on amused.

COLE
Isn't this ironic? Bohemoth spends all night interrupting proceedings and now the shoe is on the other foot, he doesn't like it.

KRISTA
Oh, honey. I think we've all heard about enough out of you for one night.

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

KRISTA
I'm going to do you, these people and this show's viewing figures a ginormous favour by finishing your little speech for you, whilst jiggling my meat rack. Now, I'm no mind-reader. And Alix only claims to be because she predicted Jade sneezing before it happened one time out of four hundred and ninety. I mean, the girl has hayfever, sooner or later you're going to get lucky just by law of averages. So, I dont know what you were going to say. Instead I'll settle for things that you could have said. "I am boring". "I am dumb". "I am carrying more muscle mass than is scientifically recommended". "I am still sore over the fact one of Krista's daughters, the one who's stupid enough to believe in true love and is therefore sappy and needy, dumped my narrow veiny ass and is now dating a scrawny manchild". "I am never going to be a World Champion."

Bohemoth has heard enough and yells "THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY TIME!", as loud as he can.

KRISTA
I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Did you say you wanted me to continue?

Bohemoth yells "NO!"

KRISTA
Yes? Very well then. "I am so sexually repressed since being dumped by a needy teenager, I watched Krista being sexually molested by Malysia last week and unlike the rest of the OAOAST locker room, I was not sat back with the door locked and a box of tissues next to me watching in awe, I decided to spear one of the hot half-naked women through a door instead!" That was the stupidest thing anyone has ever done! You crapped all over the most disgracefully hot match ever! Gay men were rioting on the streets, because even they thought it was hot! Even Queen Esther needed a change of 'undergarments' after watching that! You watched it! And you speared me through a door? You wanted to send a message? You sent a message, alright. And that message was "I am the stupidest man alive". Maybe we should start calling you the Assexual Monster from now on. Because clearly your shrunken testicles were the only sexual organs not throbbing with delight whilst watching that match. No wonder my, need I remind you, needy, daughter dumped you for a gay teen heartthrob.

Stewing with rage, Bohemoth paces around, with no opportunity to speak.

KRISTA
Listen, Bohemoth, if that is your real name. And if it is, boy, would that explain a lot. Name which isn't a name, crippling self-esteem issues, hit the gym, bulk up, start raining on hot sticky lesbian parades. It's all there. Anyway, we are going to have a match at School's Out. You want to be the OAOAST World Champion and the face of this company. I want to humiliate you in front of the world, for all the people who's waking nightmare all week has been the time you spearing me through a door turned into an accidental money-shot, because they were trying to hold one in through that entire match.

A few people in the crowd cheer, apparantly victims of that shame.

KRISTA
Don't worry though. I love giving people what they want. Actually, that's not true. I love giving people what they want in ironic, often cruel ways. So you're in luck! You want to be the face of this company? Next Sunday, you will be the face of this company. And that face will be bloody, bruised, filled with torment and anguish, weeping in pain and shredded of all dignity. In lucky coincidence, you will also as a result become the face of "Emmasculated Dudes Weekly", "Pain and Anguish Magazine" and "Why You Shouldn't Attack Hot Lesbians In Bikinis Covered In Babyoil, Volume 7".

Bohemoth so, so wants to respond, but can't and is seething.

KRISTA
And I'm not going to do it for Jade. I'm not going to do it for Alix. I'm not even going to do it for these people. Sorry everyone, I lied earlier, you deal with your own traumatic masturbation mishaps. No, I'm going to do it because I just plain feel like it.

Bohemoth points at Krista threateningly. About all he can do without a working microphone.

KRISTA
Well, I guess we're running out of time here. Sorry I took so long. Maybe you'll get some time next week. Oh, by the way. Remember last week when you burned one of my shirts? Yeah. You owe me $24.99, bitch.

Bill issued, Krista drops her mic and shrugs, as yes, indeed, we've run out of time and HeldDOWN ends before poor Bo can say a word more! Bye!

FADE OUT