OAOAST HeldDOWN 5/12/2011

[Chanel #99]

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-

We cut to Sofa Central where Double sits, wearing Orange HeldDOWN polo shirts.

COLE
Good evening, folks, and welcome to Nashville, Tennessee for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole with Da Coach. We're two weeks away from School's Out, but we have a pay per view quality show tonight! John Brickston looks to kick start his career against two time world champion Mister Dick. And in our mainevent...

MALAYSIA'S DUNGEON MATCH
OAOAST WORLD TITLE
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA NERDLY
THE MAINEVENT!

COACH
I got no regards for my penis' safety, I'm gonna jerk that fucker clean off during that match.

COLE
I...I...I don't know how to respond to that. Folks, we'll also hear from The Franchise Zack Malibu as well as see members of the Cucaracha Kingdom in action.

N-n-now that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer
I know I got to be right now
Cause I cant get much wronger
Man I've been waitin' all night now
That's how long I've been on ya

To the tune of 30 Seconds To Mars’ version of “Stronger”, Reject saunters onto a the entrance stage, wearing jeans and a black dress shirt.

COACH
The R-Man out here to hold it down for the G-man!

COLE
G-man?

COACH
God!

COLE
I’m sure the lord appreciates being referred to as “The G-Man”.

Reject enters the ring and is handed a microphone.

“YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

REJECT
If I sucked, I’d be from Nashville!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

REJECT
Luckily I’m not from Nashville so I don’t suck, and I don’t make it a regular habit to screw my own cousins. But enough about your sister humping, ass backwards ways lets get down to business. The business of profressional wrestling…excuse me action entertainment. The word wrestling is a major no-no. In this industry, in this company specifically you have a wide variety of characters. There’s down with it hustlers like Coach.

COACH
Word.

REJECT
Living legends like myself.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

REJECT
Drug addled lesbians like Alix. Cold blooded killers like Alexander The Brutal. Royalty like Landon Maddix. Inbred sacks of dog shit like that idiot Baron Windels.

“BARON! BARON! BARON!”

REJECT
So yes, there’s lots of different personalities in this industry. And I thought in my nearly ten years in this business that I’ve seen them all. But, I’ve never seen anyone like Abdullah Abir Nerdly.

COLE
That’s for sure.

REJECT
Abdullah is a healer, a prophet, a miracle worker, and god’s right hand man all rolled into one. And as of last week he is also an honoured humanitarian.  Backwater idiots, please stand up and show respect for your spiritual better Abdullah Abir Nerdly.

“La ilaha illa Allah, ha la ili, hay yo
Hili b'Allah, hey, hili bay yo
We getting Arab money
We getting Arab money”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The entire Church of Abdullah pours out from the backstage area.

COLE
Isn’t one of the ten commandments “Though Shalt Not Steal”? If so then why did this man of the cloth steal from Alix Maria Spezia last week on HeldDOWN~!

After getting into the ring, Abdullah is provided a microphone.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

ABDULLAH
Thank you, brother Reject. And thank you, my children.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

ABDULLAH
Two men walked into a cave in search of great treasure. As they went deeper and deeper into the cave they heard the sound of a great cash coming from the front of the cave. They rushed to the entrance to find that it had been sealed off by a downpour of rocks. One of the men panicked, he thought they were doomed. The other man remained calm, he had faith they’d find a way out. They searched for another exit, but found nothing. As they searched the first man grew more and more panicked. The second man, however, grew spiritual. He said that god would show himself and provide the way out. Eventually the first man died, bitter, afraid, and heartbroken. The second man kept his faith in the lord. He made his way back to the entrance and right there in front of his eyes the rocks blocking the way were removed and god appeared. God said to this man “You are my child, you have found the cave’s treasure, it is my love.” My children, I am that second man.

The Church of Abdullah applauds.

ABDULLAH
I do not take god’s treasure lightly! Instead I use it to give me strength, so that I may spread his message of peace and joy to all of you. I use it so that I may heal the sick, educate the ignorant, uplift the downtrodden, and enrich the poor. And if I happen upon a Mercedes or a Porsche or a BMW in the process it is because god wishes me to have these things. Just as he wished me to have the Lifetime Humanitarian award. But the devil’s hand maiden Alix Maria Spezia tried to steal it from me!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

ABDULLAH
Servants of the darklord in Blake Griffin and that Mrs.Ryder conspired with her to turn god’s power over to the devil. I could not allow that! I knew I had to act! And act I did, snatching the award out the mouth of Satan and returning it to the halls of the lord.

The Church applauds once again.

SNOOP DOGG
Greetings loved ones
Lets take a journey

KATY PERRY
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
Will melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

To a great reception, Alix Maria Spezia comes out with microphone in hand.

ALIX
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I’ve never been more P.O’ed in my life! Not even when I bought those magic beans, and planted them in the earth and instead of hearing mother nature rip a massive fart, I got a giant beanstalk, and had to deal with some crazy ass giant. That sucked, but made for a pretty cool fifteen minute acid trip.  Now, I’m  sooooooo not a stranger to thievery, with my Black Ops missions to Pakistan to steal delicate Taliban documents and the like. Although, Krista says I just drunkenly stumbled down to Rite-Aid, and passed out in the stationary asile. But, whatever I did, I did it for America. But, you didn’t, you just went and stole my award, jerkface!

ABDULLAH
I liberated it for the lord!

ALIX
Liberated it for the lord? Yeah, right, that’s what I said about Becky Simpkins’ breasts when I ripped off her shirt in the church rectory in 5th grade! It was BS then, and its total BS now. I don’t think you’ll be excommunicated from the Catholic church and hunted down by the Knights of Templar like I was, but you should be!

ABDULLAH
I am a servant of the lord, doing the lord’s bidding. God wishes me to have this award.

ALIX
Whatever! God has more important things to worry about, like stopping his brother Loki from taking over Asgarad and killing their father Odin.

REJECT
God isn’t Thor, you moron!

ALIX
Oh really? Well that’s not what Hollywood says, and I’ve never known movies to potray anything even remotely inaccurately. So HMPH! Even if god wasn’t Thor, and he was this dude who impregnated this chick named Mary, and had this bad ass son named Jesus that turned water into wine so we could get hammered and have cool orgy parties, he wouldn’t want you to have that award. You’re a big stupid dork! You’ve never done anything nice for anyone in your whole life. You’re the type of dude to pee in the ball pit at Chuck-E-Cheese. You’re a meanie, you’re the type of dude who if you saw someone burning, you’d use ‘em to make smores. Well, I would to, but that’s because smores are freaking awesome! I love them! I especially love them because they’re brown and they remind me of black people, and I freaking love black people!

LOGAN


ALIX
What was I saying again? Oh yeah, god doesn’t want you to have that award, the only thing God wants you to have is a Pepsi Max and a boot up your ass!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

THUNDERKID
Well then, why don’t you come down and try to take the award back from him?

ALIX
Okie dokie!

Biffman joins Alix at her side, shocking the audience and The Church.

ALIX
Did I mention I love the Taco Bell Crunch Wrap Supreme.

THUNDERKID
What the hell does that have to do with anything?

ALIX
Nothing, just thought I’d share. Let’s get ‘em, Biffman!

ALFDOGG
Wait!

Alix looks up to find Alfdogg on the videoscreen.

ALIX
Holy crap! It’s a disembodied head!

ALFDOGG
No, Alix, I’m just on video screen.

BIFFMAN
Commissioner Alfdogg. What troubles you?

ALFDOGG
The fact that you’re about to run up against seven people troubles me. Alix that award is rightly your’s and I understand you want it back.

REJECT
But possession is nine tenths of the law, and who’s got possession of it, AlfBITCH?

ALFDOGG
Very clever, Reject. Alix, I also know you want to get your hands on any member of The Church of Abdullah. Therefore I’m making a match at School’s Out it will be Alix against a representative of the Church of Abdullah for her Lifetime Humanitarian Award.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Alix smiles over this huge matchup, while Abdullah must be calmed down by his Church members.

COLE
Wow! Another huge match added to School's Out!

[Chanel #99]

Backstage, TONY TOURETTES bangs on the door of OAOAST President Alfdogg.

TONY
Where's my pussy! You owe me some pussy! I want that pussy!

Tony slides down against the door and rocks back and forth.  

TONY
(sobbing)
I don’t want to be a virgin no more. I don’t want to be a virgin no more.

Tony buries his hands in his face when VINNY VALENTINE approaches carrying a long stiff object draped with a sheet.

VINNY
Listen Tone, I know you’re still down over not losing your virginity and all, but like they say, there’s other fish in the sea. I mean, if you want, we can go back to Vegas and visit the Bunny Ranch.

TONY
And pay for sex-- in these economic times? Fuck that.

VINNY
I figured you might say that. Which is why I went out and found a special somebody that’ll turn that frown upside down.

Vinny removes the sheet to reveal a life size CARDBOARD CUTOUT of MEGAN FOX attached with a skirt.

TONY
What’s the deal with the skirt? She never had a skirt.

VINNY
That isn’t the only thing she never had before.  

Vinny lifts the skirt and Tony’s jaw drops.

TONY
She’s got a pussy!

VINNY
And a BUTT hole.  

Tony fondles the rubber female genitals and laughs. Thankfully our director stays with a wide shot.

VINNY
Ah, gee, Tone, you got all night for stuff like that. Right now we gotta think of a way to beat Baron Windels. That thing didn’t come cheap, you know.

We fade out on Vinny and Tony discussing strategy

LATER TONIGHT
ROCK HARD JOHN BRCIKSTON VS MISTER DICK
TONIGHT!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

“Disco Heaven” by Lady Gaga hits and Vinny Valentine struts down the aisle with cousin Tony Tourettes by his side.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, accompanied by TONY TOURETTES… from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 228 pounds… “THE DISCO DUCK”… VINNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVVVAAAAAALLLLEEEEENNTTIIIIIINNEEEEEEEEE!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Vinny boogies under the multicolored disco ball above the ring. Meanwhile, Tony continues to fondle his Megan Fox cutout.

COLE
Ugh. Talk about a face only a mother could love.

COACH
Who’s the one banging Megan Fox? Yeah, Tony himself.

COLE
It’s a cardboard cutout!

COACH
Just because a person’s thin doesn’t mean they have an eating disorder, Cole.

“Not Afraid” by Eminem cues and the Lone Star Gunslinger slaps hands with members of the OAOAST Galaxy on his way ringside .

BUFFER
And his opponent… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds... "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAARRRROOOOOONN WWWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEELLLLSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

BW enters the ring and pumps his fist.

* BZZZZZZT *

OMG~!

The hidden camera returns to capture Vinny dancing under a street light outside a McDonald’s parking lot as the soundtrack from SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER blares from the limo provided by the OAOAST for Tony T‘s date.

Suddenly a LADY approaches and she’s not out for an autograph. She shoves Vinny in the limo and the house starts a-rockin'. The driver peaks in on the action from the front seat and then exits to light a CIGARETTE.

COACH
That lady looked awfully familiar, Cole.  

COLE
You don’t think… No, he wouldn’t. Or would he?

The video skips ahead to show Tony Tourettes confronting the driver and then knocking on the limo’s passenger window. Vinny pokes his head out and the two can be seen talking. The window rolls up once their conversation is over and the limo begins to rock again as Tony stares into the night scratching his head.

Back in the arena, Vinny begs the guys in the truck to kill the feed to no avail.

Sometime after Tony re-enters the fast food chain, Vinny emerges from the vehicle with the lady assigned to deflower his cousin!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

OMG~!

* BZZZZZZT *

TONY
@#$#$%@#^&%$^$%@#

Vinny tries to explain his side of the story, but Tony walks out fast and furious.

COLE
Poor guy. The pain is so great he forgot about his Megan Fox cutout.

COACH
There may be plenty of other fish in the sea, but I think they’d rather jump into a shark’s mouth than Tony’s bed.

* DINGDINGDING *

BW capitalizes on Vinny’s mind being elsewhere, nailing him with a Cowboy Bebop elbow and then a big boot. Vinny staggers to his feet and right into a top rope clothesline!

COLE
It’s Clobberin’ Time!

BW serves Vinny a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT and makes the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Here is your winner… BBAAAAARRRROOOOOONN WWWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEELLLLSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

COACH
Baron Windels must be real proud taking advantage of an emotionally distraught Vinny Valentine.

Backstage, Tony Tourettes enters the little known BACKROOM of our lavish interview lounge where JIVIN’ JR mans a FRONT DESK, all while VICE smoke cigars and watch Steven Segal movies on TV in the background.

TONY
Hey!

CPA
Yo, B, you hear something?

BOSLEY
Nope. If anybody was here besides us and good ol’ Jivin’ JR, they’d know to RING THE FREAKIN’ BELL FIRST!

Tony rolls his eyes and rings the bell located on the desk.

JIVIN’ JR
Business is about to pickup.

We cut back to the ring where Vinny is helped up by the ref.

COLE
Vinny better get the heck out of the ring.

COACH
I don’t think he realizes the danger ahead, Cole.

Can you feel it coming in the air tonight...

“ONE SERIOUS ASS KICKIN’, THAT IS!” says the voice of Tango Bosley over the loud speakers.

VINNY


The V-man attempts to flee through the crowd but he’s nabbed by VICE and POSTED!

COLE
Flesh meets steel and steel won.  

VICE dump Vinny inside and beat the piss outta him. Meanwhile, Jivin’ JR calls the action backstage.

JIVIN’ JR
VICE COLD! VICE COLD! VICE COLD! WHO’S YOUR DADDY VINNY VALENTINE?!

COACH
That guy’s crazier than a pet coon. Whatever the hell that is.

A vicious DOMINATOR leaves Vinny flat on his stomach in a world of hurt. Tony Tourettes reappears on the scene delighted as can be. He lays the verbal smack down on his cousin before being confronted by VICE. Tony smiles and hands them an envelope that doesn’t contain money but numerous passwords.  

COACH
I guess we know who hacked Sony. *laughs*

Tony points to the paper and thrusts his pelvis/squeezes imaginary boobies.  

COLE
Oh, brother.

Tony receives two thumbs up… and then a GIGATON PUNCH courtesy of CPA!

COACH
Come on guys. It’s the thought that counts.

CPA breaks the Megan Fox cutout in half as Bosley retrieves the list of passwords to adult sites.

COACH
Megan Fox got smashed by a brother!

COLE
I don't think anybody will ever shortchange VICE again. Folks, right now we turn things over to Josh Matthews who is standing with The Orange County Cobras. Josh?

[Chanel #99]

Backstage at the interview set-up, Josh Matthews is stood by with the Orange County Cobras.

MATTHEWS
Ned, last week you were hoping to get your hands on Leon Rodez. But, unfortunately, you didn't quite get much of a chance, as he left, with you in hot pursuit. I've got a feeling you're not done with Leon just yet, though.

NED
You're damn right I ain't done with him yet! I think it's pretty obvious to everyone that Leon's got a serious case of yellow belly. From day one, I never trusted his sorry ass. Even when he got us through War Games, stuck it out and fought alongside us, it was for his own gain and nothing else. He only fights when he has too. And when he doesn't wanna... well, he's got a nasty habit of running off with his tail between his legs. When he walked out on us at AngleMania, he officially messed with us. Which means he's got an ass-kicking coming. And he can run and hide as long as he wants, as many times as he wants. He can't run forever and he can't hide forever. So he can either take his beating like a man, or he can take it like a bitch.

SIMON
When you cross the Cobras, sooner or later, you're going to get paid back. Because we don't forget easy.

Ned nods in agreement.

SIMON
Leon, if you didn't want to fight Ned last week, maybe you'll have the guts to fight me next week instead. I'm challenging you, one on one. And I promise, Ned won't be out there. Infact, he'll be waiting backstage. So should you decide you've had enough and want to bail out again... you might want to rethink it this time.

NED
Just remember son, run all you want, hide all you want. Sooner or later, your sorry ass is mine.

The Cobras walk off and Josh raises his eyebrows.

MATTHEWS
Sounds like the Cobras are hungry for some elusive prey.

[Chanel #99]

In the far reaches of the arena, we find Leon Rodez pacing around, anxious about something. As he paces, Leon looks down at Morgan Nerdly, who is hunched up on the floor with her head in her knees. And after a few seconds, he suddenly snaps at her.

RODEZ
What are you even sulking about, anyway!?

Morgan looks up, sad, but a little annoyed that apparantly Leon has no idea why.

MORGAN
Lorelei. She said... I...

RODEZ
What?

MORGAN
...she made fun of me and my pictures. She said I was small chested... and flat assed.

RODEZ
That's it? So what? You are small chested.

Morgan looks aghast at Leon's callousness and tries not to start crying again.

RODEZ
Didn't I tell you this would happen? You pose for these stupid little pictures and it'd just end up giving you an ego. You know you can't take criticism. But did you listen? Of course not. You wanted to make people like you. To make all the bad things anyone ever said about you go away. By taking off your clothes. Great idea. You know what, I've got real problems to deal with. Like Blanchard coming after me. So, forgive me if I'm not weeping over what someone thinks of your breasts right now.

Unable to listen to anymore, Morgan gets up and runs off crying. Which just seems to make Leon even more frustrated. He continues to pace, muttering to himself, as we go back to the arena.

COLE
How selfish can you be? Leon Rodez doesn't care about anybody but himself. And poor Morgan just can't catch a break with people like that in her life.

COACH
Maybe she ought to get her clothes off again.

COLE
Oh yeah, I bet that would be fine with Leon, that hypocrite.

COACH
I didn't mean to cheer him up. I just meant she should take off her clothes.

COLE
*sigh*

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

In the ring, it's party time as the red, white and blue of the American flag is paraded proudly by the proud masked men Freedom and Liberty.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is set for one fall. In the ring, hailing from the hearts of the American people! At a total combined weight of four hundred and fifty pounds... FREEDOM and LIBERTY, THE ALL AAMMMEERRRRIIICCAAAAANN BBOOOOOOYYYYSSSSS!!!

"YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!"

"U S A!"
"U S A!"
"U S A!"
"U S A!"

As the proud Americans proudly show their American pride, the American crowd proudly cheer along.

COACH
Gee, I never realised, but, this whole 'yay America thing' lately... it's kinda getting a bit much.

The Americans' day is about to get a little worse though as "King Kong" by LA Symphony hits and out march the dual destruction team of Faqu and Daisuke Motozaki!

BUFFER
And their opponents. Total combined weight, five hundred and fourty nine pounds... representing the CUCARACHA KINGDOM, the team of "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFAAAQQUUUUUUUU... and DDAAAIIIIISSUUUKKEEEEE MMMOOOOTTOOOOZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAKKIIIIIIIIII!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
With James Blonde ex-communicated from the Cucaracha Kingdom, Faqu and Daisuke have become a formidable team on our sister show Syndicated in recent weeks. And it's not hard to see why. Just look at them!

The powerhouses step in the ring with no flash or fuss, just ready to hurt somebody.


*DINGDINGDING*

Freedom opts to start for the AAB and is immediately attacked by Faqu!

COLE
Oh boy, they're wasting no time tonight!

Faqu hammers away on Freedom with clubbing blows, turning away to beat his chest dominantly. Picking Freedom up by the head, Faqu throws him into the turnbuckles and attacks him with some open handed chops and strikes. Faqu then whips Freedom across and follows him in with an AVALANCHE!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
While we've got the Kingdom represented out here, I think it's worth mentioning that we haven't seen King Landon since AngleMania. Rumour is that he's gone into HIDING after losing to Nathaniel Black. And his Kingdom has been in some bad shape lately. All except for this new team of Faqu and Motozaki.

COACH
I'm sure the King merely has some business to take care of. He'll be back when the time is right.

COLE
Didn't Rico lose to a complete rookie last week? Isn't now the 'right time'?

After hammering on Freedom some more, Faqu tags in Motozaki. Motozaki doesn't mess around, giving Freedom a hard forearm shot and then dumping him with a BACKDROP DRIVER!!

COLE
OH, my word!

Motozaki stands back and allows Freedom to crawl over and make the tag, happy for a different challenge. Liberty comes in and tries to take the fight to his opponent, rocking him with some forearms. Off the ropes, he charges back with a shoulder tackle. Motozaki doesn't budge, so Liberty comes off and tries again. Again no knockdown. Liberty then tries a third time, but gets hit with a LARIAT!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Picking Liberty up, Motozaki traps his arms in front of him. Faqu steps in, as Motozaki gives Liberty a HEADBUTT right between the breastbone...



*SMACK!*

...and Liberty staggers into a THRUST KICK from Faqu!!

COACH
Dayyum! This might be the heaviest hitting team in the OAOAST!

Faqu storms across the ring and takes out Freedom, as Motozaki picks up Liberty and puts him in a Torture Rack!

COLE
Picked Liberty up like he was nothing!

Motozaki racks Liberty a couple of times, stretching him out, but not enough for a submission. Not yet. Once he's done his damage, Motozaki walks over to Faqu and flips Liberty, off of his shoulders and onto Faqu's. And Faqu lets out a primal shout before crushing Liberty with a SAMOAN DROP!!

COLE
They're just taking it in turns. This is something else.

With Liberty already destroyed, Motozaki deadlifts him off the mat with the DEADLIFT GERMAN SUPLEX!


1...




2....




3!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

COLE
First pinfall attempt of the match and it's over. Wow.

COACH
Efficient and deadly.

BUFFER
Your winners of the match... the team of FAQU and DAISUKE MOTOZZZAAAAAAAKKIIIIIIII!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Job done, Motozaki and Faqu simply leave the ring and march to the back, making this destruction of two men seem like the most mundane, routine task in the world.

COACH
You reckon somewhere, James Blonde is crying right about now? Damn.

[Chanel #99]

COLE
We'd like to remind everybody that coming up in two and a half weeks, the OAOAST heads to one of our favourite places in the world, Los Angeles, for the 2011 edition of School's Out. In what promises to be a tremendous event. Tickets are sold out, but you can join us live on Pay Per View. Can't wait for that, I...

BOHEMOTH
Would you look at all of this crap?

COLE
Whu... what the hell?

We suddenly abandon Sofa Central and cut abruptly to the arena foyer, where Bohemoth, in stonewash jeans, a leather jacket and no shirt, is walking through with a microphone. Security keep the fans at bay, as Bo's appearance has caused quite the excitement. He walks past the concessions, not acknowledging anyone around him.

BOHEMOTH
This is what the OAOAST provides for it's fans? To spend their money on? Look at all this. Nothing but junk food and cheap tat! And yet, all these people lap it up. Like sheep. BAA! BAA! Hell, we could probably set up a stall selling OAOAST brand dog crap and some of these idiots would throw their money down on it.

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

BOHEMOTH
There's a reason why you people don't look like me! Because you've got no style and a burger in your fat little hands, so shut the hell up!

Bohemoth walks up to the merchandise stands and looks around, unimpressed. Bo starts picking shirts up, and a stern look at the person behind the stall sends him scurrying away

BOHEMOTH
How can you produce this much cheap garbage and yet, you neglect to produce something people actually want. Something that you should be making. We've got t-shirts here for every flavour of the month there ever was. WHERE'S MY T-SHIRT!? Huh!? Look at this crap. Zack Malibu t-shirts.

Picking up the Franchise shirt, Bohemoth casually tosses it on the floor.

BOHEMOTH
More Zack Malibu t-shirts, are you kidding me!?

Another Zack shirt goes on the pile as well.

BOHEMOTH
Baron Windels t-shirts, HeldDOWN shirts, D*LUX shirts, Rodez shirts, Alfdogg shirts, Mister Dick shirts.

Bo keeps tossing shirt after shirt onto the pile in disgust, then suddenly TEARS THE ENTIRE STAND DOWN!

BOHEMOTH
As far as I'm concerned, it's time for some long overdue spring cleaning around here. Sooner or later, everybody in the OAOAST is gonna have to step aside and make way for me. And when I become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, I'm gonna need a hell of a lot of clothing rack space! I'm gonna be the face of this company! I'm gonna be the star! I'm gonna be the person that everybody in this arena pays their money to see! And it's gonna be my t-shirts flying off the shelves and padding my pockets with royalty cheques. So, I might as well do everybody a favour... and start the clearout.

Reaching into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, Bohemoth produces a LIGHTER.

BOHEMOTH
And just like this cheap trash... (grabs a women's Krista shirt)... Krista, I promise, your title reign is about to go up in flames.

Bohemoth holds the Krista shirt out and SETS IT ALIGHT, then drops into onto the pile! The shirts quickly go up in flames and Bohemoth stands over the bonfire, watching the merchandise burning.

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

“Motherfucker of the Year” hits and the threesome of Mr. Dick, Malaysia and Kareem receive a golden pyro shower onstage.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by MALAYSIA and KAREEM THE MIDDLE EASTERN WET DREAM… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

As the trio walk down the aisle, Malaysia is handed another gift box. Inside she finds sexy lingerie.  

COACH
DAYUM~! I’d kill to be Mr. Dick tonight. But who’s the secret admirer, Cole?

COLE
Your guess is as good as mine. We know it’s not Mr. Dick, that’s for sure.

MD tosses the lingerie into the crowd and has a few choice words for Malaysia. He then questions Kareem, who denies any involvement.

COACH
Or Kareem.

COLE
Malaysia’s secret admirer has really gotten into the head of the Real American Prick.

COACH
Speaking of head, Brickston got to see Mr. Dick’s up close recently. Get it?

COLE
Har har.  

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! - 3 WEEKS AGO

MD dives into the ring and FACE HUMPS the fallen Brickston.

COLE
Oh, come on, that’s uncalled for.

MD and Malaysia put the boots to Brickston, then watch Kareem deliver a second MONEY SHOT.

*Give me fuel
Give me fire
Give me that which I desire!*

BUFFER
His opponent, from Sacramento, California, weighing 215 pounds… JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRRRRRRICKSSSSSSTOOOOOONNNNNN!!

Brickston charges the ring and trades blows with MD.

* DINGDINGDING *

MD receives the worst end of the exchange and then a BAAAAAACK body drop.

COLE
Oh my! What elevation!

Brickston clotheslines MD over the top rope and whips him into the guardrail.

COACH
This isn’t no DQ, Cole.

COLE
You’re right about that. Brickston needs to control his emotion.

Malaysia grabs hold of Brickston’s foot after MD is rolled back in, buying her man time to club him from behind.  

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Right jabs stun Brickston against the ropes, but he reverses a whip and gets caught with a FAMASSER on the rebound!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Face-first into the top buckle goes Brickston, who MD works over with a series of stinging jabs and kicks to the midsection. MD whips Brickston across the ring for a corner cross body.

COACH
Bite My Giant Dick!

MD throws Brickston to the mat and applies the STF.

COLE
The Roughrider!

Brickston does his best to hang on, but with MD yanking back on the neck and crashing his weight on top in a rather suggestive matter, the pain is too much to handle so he taps.

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Here is your winner… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

MD refuses to break the hold despite the match being over. Meanwhile, Kareem and Malaysia block the ref in the corner.

COLE
There’s no need for this. You’ve already won the damn match.

COACH
That’s what Brickston gets for badmouthing Malaysia on OAOAST Syndicated.

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

The OAOAST Galaxy comes alive when DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW storms the ring and cleans house.

COLE
Deuce is wild! No doubt returning the favor from last week when it was Brickston who came to his aid.

Deuce grabs a mic.

DEUCE
Let me tell you three punks something! Since you obviously get off triple teaming people, how ’bout we have ourselves a 6 person orgy? Yeah, you heard me. The three of you versus me and two partners of my choice at School’s Out!  

MD and friends have a group meeting and then accept the challenge.

COLE
Oh my! A 6 person orgy live on pay-per-view Sunday night, May 29 at School’s Out!

COACH
Get your head out of the gutter, Cole. It’s a 6 person tag.

COLE
I know that. Although now I  wonder why Mr. Dick and company accepted so quickly.

“Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody” cues as a staredown ensues between Deuce and his opponents at School’s Out.


THE MAINEVENT
OAOAST WORLD TITLE MALAYSIA'S DUNGEON MATCH
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA NERDLY
THE MAINEVENT!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

Inside the always lavish, and always well stocked with alchol Duncan family dressing room, we see Terry Taylor stood by with Krista.

TERRY
Hi, fans, Terry Taylor standing in the Duncan family dressing room with OAOAST World Champion Krista Isa-

KRISTA
SPEEEEEAAAKKKK TO MEEEEEEE MY SUPERMANIACS!

TERRY


KRISTA
Sorry, I don’t know where that game from. I just felt a sudden urge, to slap tassles on my arm run to the ring, shake the ropes, and get winded two minutes into what will later be described as an abomination towards professional wrestling. What did you want, Terry? If this is about that whole fiasco at your mother’s funeral, I had no idea the hooker would follow me in there. I paid her her money, damn it.

TERRY
No its not about that.

KRISTA
Is it about Osama? Because A.that comedic ship has sailed and B.knowing my luck, I’ll have to be his doubles partner in Satan’s tennis tournament down in hell, and gloating over his death would make for lousy team chemistry.

TERRY
No its not about that either. Its about Bohemoth. He made some strong statements earlier tonight.

KRISTA
Strong statement implies that he’s smart enough to articulate a complete sentence with falling into a coma, which he clearly isn’t.

TERRY
Well, he basically expressed that he wants to be the face of the OAOAST.

KRISTA
He wants to be the face of this company? Oh my that is rich. Some people aspire to be president, other’s aspire to be firemen, or doctors, or in the case of Tony Brannigan Tim Duncan’s jockstrap, but Bohmoth aspires to be the face of this company. Its like going around a class room and hearing the dreams of all the boys and girls, and they say they want to the world series, or cure cancer, and then we come to little Bohemoth who’s dream is basically that he wants to get caught fondling his junk in the corner of Prince’s dressing room.   Bohemoth, honey, I am the face of a billion dollar fitness empire, I am a Hollywood Walk of Famer, being the face of this company is like Obama being president of the Jay Leno chin fetish club in addition to being president of the united states. Were I a nice person, perhaps I might give you the title of face of this company. But I am not a nice person, not in the slightest, unless its to people I suspect are Al Qaeda members, plz don’t blow me up thx. Therefore, honey, the only thing you’ll be the face of is the front cover for the Krista Isadora Duncan’s greatest sonnings DVD.

TERRY
Now THAT’s a strong statement. Let’s talk about your Malaysia’s Dungeon match. A  lot of people are looking forward to this contest. Do you think it will be fun?

KRISTA
Does “fun” involve toys being inserted into multiple orifices of mine at once, because I just had “fun” with Alix two days ago in the kitchen. Of course Jade whined when I told her. First, it was “I don’t wanna hear that!”

JADE (OS)
Who wants to hear about their mother’s wild sex life?! How would you like it if I told you my sexual experiences with Spencer?

KRISTA
I’d like it just fine as it would give me another reason to want to dismember him and use his body parts as bases when we play softball at the family reunion. Besides, I wish you would tell me about your sex life, I could use a good sleep aid.

JADE
My sex life isn't boring! Its just that its a little, um, uh....I don't have to explain my sex life to you!

KRISTA
Anyway back to my story, then she said “People prepare their food in there” Its not liked we used one of the cucumbers or anything….actually we did, but its not like we put them back after we were done…actually we did.

JADE
You put it back?!!!

KRISTA
We recycle in this family. But, its not like you were going to eat the cucumber we used.

JADE (OS)
I always eat the cucumbers!

KRISTA
Well, so do I…just through a different hole.

JADE (OS)
Gross!

TERRY
I think now is as good a time as any to end this interview.

[Chanel #99]

MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

is seen entering the office of Alfdogg.

MAYA
Alfdogg, have I told you how great you smell. You’d think as a guy named after a early 90’s sitcom and a canine, you might smell of dingy basements and urine, but you smell awesome!

ALFDOGG
Thanks. I think.

MAYA
How did you get the name the Alfdogg?

ALFDOGG
It’s a long story.

MAYA
And I’m sure its awesome, but us kids these days, we don’t have the patience for that. If it can’t be summed up in a two sentence tweet with a smiley face or acronym it isn’t worth saying as far as we’re concerned.

ALFDOGG
So what did you need, Maya? Help with your homework?

MAYA
Nah, I just get one of the dorky kids to do it for me. Show a little leg, bat your eyelashes, and they’re all over those AP Economics problems. What I want to talk to you about is OAOAST Magazine.

ALFDOGG
Subscription problems should really be taken up with another department.

MAYA
Are you kidding me? I don’t subscribe. Mom would never let me read anything that gives me knowledge about professional wrestling beyond the Nerdly girls’ bra sizes. She’s enraged by the fact that I know The Miz is wwe world champion. No,no, we need to talk about these pictorials you’ve got going on of all the OAOAST babes.

ALFDOGG
Are you trying to get Jade to be next up to pose?

MAYA
What?! Yeah, maybe, in Chunky Queens Quartley. Nope, I’m trying to get me to be next up to pose.

ALFDOGG
You?

MAYA
Why do you say it like its your grandmother asking to pose butt naked in the pages of Penthouse.

ALFDOGG
But, you’re just a kid.

MAYA
That’s why its so perfect. People love the sweet, innocent, jailbait type with breasts and bottom strategically bared. It reminds them of their youth, where anything and everything was possible and not the fact that they’re 36 years old, slumming it up with a sexually repressed stock clerk at Target.

ALFDOGG
What about your dad? Did you ask him?

MAYA
He said go for it!

ALFDOGG
More importantly, what about your mom.

MAYA
This is the woman who short of carving them into foreheads, stops at nothing to share her sexual wisdom and experiences with Jade and I.

ALFDOGG
She’s pretty liberated about he own sexuality, but she’s had to be convinced numerous times not to send you away to a monastery and lock Jade in the closet a la Macho Man to Liz.

MAYA
There you go with those wrestling references, I’m supposed to pretend I don’t get. Are you afraid of my mother?

ALFDOGG
Yes!

MAYA
She’s got a new fitness game coming out for Kinect pretty soon, so it would be bad PR to castrate you or something. The most she might do is insult you the point where your kids will lose all respect for you and your wife will leave you. No big deal.

ALFDOGG
You really want to pose?

MAYA
If mom can pose half naked and be adored by millions. I gotta pose half naked and be adored by BILLIONS. Its my job to live up to the Duncan girl name and keep the legacy of hotness going. Jade’s not going to do it, and thank the good lord for that, ol butter rolls might cause blindness. Whatever mom’s done, I’ve got to do and I’ve got to do it even better! So, I’ve got to pose.

ALFDOGG
Alright, I’ll arrange a shoot. And your pictures will debut on the HeldDOWN after School’s Out.

Maya claps her hands and smiles excitedly.

[Chanel #99]

In the hallways, we stumble upon the LDC Moneygang, hanging out backstage with their locker room situation decidedly complicated given their recent 'affiliations'. Spencer kicks back sitting on some coffee, as Colin taps away at his phone. Suddenly, he perks up.

CMJ
Ah-ha! Brah, you've gotta read this. It's from that girl from last night. She's got a dirty mind, man.

SPENCER
Is she the one who recognised you from the TV? Dude, don't get involved. They're only after you because you're famous. Well, relatively famous. Star fuckers. She's probably crazy.

CMJ
You aihn't got room to talk. What ahbout them girls who were all over you?

Clearly not wanting to talk about this, Spencer laughs it off.

SPENCER
Like I said, star fuckers. Keep your distance.

CMJ
That wasn't what you were sayin' last night.

SPENCER
They were fans. I couldn't just blow them off. Besides, they were like eighteen. At most. Wouldn't be surprised if they'd snuck in underage to be honest.

CMJ
So weren't hitting on that blonde broad?

SPENCER
Are you kidding? Why would I want a kid when I've got a woman? Here, look at this.

Whipping out his smartphone, Spencer taps a few buttons and then hands over to Colin, who's eyes grow wide.

CMJ
Whoa... is that...

SPENCER
Yup. We had a little fun over the weekend. Pretty cool, huh?

CMJ
Seriously... is that... ya know...

SPENCER
Who else would it be, genius? You want to see the video I took?

CMJ
...you took a video?

SPENCER
A couple, yeah.

CMJ
Fahk!

Grabbing the phone off of Spencer, Colin has a close watch of the video. A little too close for Spencer's liking, as he snatches the phone back.

SPENCER
Dude, be creepier.

CMJ
Brah, do you even know what that is? That's gold! You realise how much people would pay to see this shit?

Looking at the phone, it's Spencer's eyes who grow wide this time. Colin tries to grab the phone back, apparantly not done watching yet, but Spencer fends him off, more important things on his mind.

SPENCER
Holy crap, you're right! You know what this is? This is my ticket back into Ted's good books!

CMJ
Oh yeah, when he sees this he's gonna freak out.

SPENCER
No you idiot. He's not going to care about seeing me in action. Don't you get it? This is money, sitting right here on my phone. Lots of it! You realise how much this could be worth? We're talking hundreds of thousands! Maybe more! If we get Ted to distribute this and I give him a 50% cut, think of how much he'd make... how much we'd both make! How's he gonna be mad at me after that?

Spencer is clearly excited, but Colin seems to be having some second thoughts.

CMJ
Well... he won't be mahd atcha... but Jade damn sure will be.

SPENCER
Look, this kind of stuff happens all the time. Tapes get 'leaked', 'accidently'. A few weeks of fake outrage and you're through it. Life goes on. Everybody gets their kicks off it and moves on. Besides, how long do you think Paris Hilton stayed pissed off for when the money came rolling in and she became famous? Hell, every famous person in Hollywood practically has got their goods out. Vanessa Hudgens, Lindsay Lohan, Anne Hathaway, Halle Berry...

CMJ
Fair enough.

SPENCER
This is too good to pass up. You finally came up with a good idea man!

CMJ
Awesome. How much of a cut do I get, then?

SPENCER
Uhh, we'll work that out later. I've got to call Ted and tell him about this.

Excitedly, Spencer starts dialing, with dollar signs spinning in his head.

COMING UP NEXT
OAOAST WORLD TITLE MALAYSIA'S DUNGEON MATCH
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA NERDLY
THE MAINEVENT IS NEXT!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

THE HEAVEN'S WILL OPEN
THE SEAS SHALL PART
HELL WILL FEEL NO GREATER FURY
EARTH SHALL ADORE NO GREATER BEING
FOR THE HARBINGER OF RAGNAROK IS SOON TO ARRIVE

HE IS COMING

BUFFER
Ladies and Gentlemen: it is time for the Malaysia’s Dungeon Match for OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

We cut backstage to a wide room litterd with various bondage equipment as well as normal furniture such as a bed, a sofa, a table and more. Malaysia paces about the area excitedly awaiting her opponent. After several seconds of waiting, Krista shows up with several board games.

KRISTA
I was thinking that perhaps this isn’t such a good idea. Maybe, we ought to settle this matter in a more civilized I way. I bought some games. Look, see, Detroit Monopoly. Detroit: The only city where white people hate white people to! And Jenga, with Donkey Kong! I figure with you associate with a man with the intelligence of a large primate this might be comfortable ground for you.

Malaysia wants none of Krista’s games and violently slams them out her hand.

KRISTA
I knew I should’ve bought Spongebob Squarepants Operation.

Malaysia wraps her hands around Krista’s slender waist, and stares passionately into her eyes. Krista tries to squirm free, but Malaysia’s bonds are held tight and strong.

KRISTA
Ummmm?

MALAYSIA
Are you ready for some fun?

Malaysia flings Krista onto an inflatable sofa with a side belly to belly suplex.

KRISTA
Well, that wasn’t so bad. Being flung onto cheap plastic furniture, with a sex crazed lunatic ready to ravage me reminds of the time Alix and I would make out in our dorm room at UCLA. Well, I’ll just be leaving now.

MALAYSIA
STAY!

Malaysia places her palms onto Krista’s shoulders and shoves her back onto the sofa with powerful force.

KRISTA
Or I could stay for a little while, whatever works for you.

Malaysia grabs onto Krista’s halter top, with a lusty stare taking shape in her eyes. Krista gazes at Malaysia with curiosity, unsure of what the demoness has in store. With one abrupt and harsh tear Krista’s top is shredded away, causing her giant rack to spill free. Malaysia’s face fills with glee at the beautiful sight that lies before her blue eyes. With Malaysia hypnotized by her chest, the jug endowed babe takes that time to crack her across the face with a hard forearm!

MALAYSIA
YES! I love it! Hit me harder, bitch!

Krista strikes Malaysia in the jaw with another forearm. Malaysia’s head snaps back into place, and an overjoyed grin rests on her face.

MALAYSIA
Harder, you bitch! Harder!

KRISTA
No.

MALAYSIA
No?

KRISTA
I’m not going to hit you. I’m going to instead give you my take on the winners and losers of this years Canadian Football Leauge draft. We’ll start with the Edmonton Eskimos.

Malaysia grows incensed at Krista’s refusal to play her games. As such she fires off a yakuza kick to Krista’s chest. But Krista catches onto her boot and slams it down to the ground. This throws Malaysia off balance, and allows Krista to grab a nearby “posture” bar. She knoks Malaysia’s upside the head with it, and fells the brawny the beauty.

KRISTA
And now, I am out of here. Farwell, good bye, I really appreciate you bringing out the Forced Orgasm Belt over there just for me, shows you really care, but I’ve got to go.

Krista begins departing towards the exit, thrilled to be done with this odd match.

MALAYSIA
Oh Krista.

KRISTA
Yes?

MALAYSIA
Maybe, you should turn around.

Krista turns around and finds Malaysia dressed down...



KRISTA


The bikini clad babe takes advantage of Krista’s stunned and thrilled state to spear her to the ground. Krista writhes in pain, feeling the ill effects of the spear.  Beyond her blurred vision she can see Malaysia grabbing some sort of bottle.  She hears the cackling of her foe as he snaps the top off the bottle. Soon oil is dripped onto her bulbous knockers, sliding down their perfectly tanned flesh.

MALAYSIA
Do you like it when I drip oil over your breasts, slut?

KRISTA
Come here and let me show you how much I like it, baby.

Malaysia’s face is split by a wide, overjoyed smile at the thought of the treat Krista might give her. Never once taking her eyes off Krista’s glistening breasts, Malaysia sinks down to Krista’s position.  That’s exactly the moment that Krista headbutts her in the nose.

KRISTA
Ow! Why? Why do people do that move? What sense is there in furiously banging your head into that of another person’s?

Krista gets to her feet and begins kicking Malaysia in the stomach. Despite the pain of these blows, Malaysia is able to fight to her feet. This matters not to Krista who hooks her into a front facelock.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! Krista suplexes Malaysia onto a spanking rack. She then overturns a table full of marital aids onto the Edmonton native.

KRISTA
(picking one up)
You, my friend, may come in handy later.

Suddenly Malaysia roars to life and wraps her hands around Krista’s thin waist. Much to the world champion’s horror she’s driven halfway across the room and rammed into the wall. Her head bounces off the surface, leaving her dazed and weak. As such as she’s at Malaysia’s mercy.

MALAYSIA
Look at those beautiful breasts, and they’re all for me.

Malaysia immediately reaches out with her right hand and grabs hold of one of Krista’s large round boobs, giving it a firm squeeze through her bra.

MALAYSIA
Just perfect.

Malaysia greedily runs her soft hand over the generous expanse of Krista’s left breast, letting the large round orb fill her hand.

Malaysia then starts to roughly squeeze, harshly kneading the firm flesh of her ample bosom through Krista’s bra, letting her fingers sink into the soft mound of her big tit.  Krista cries out in pain, which earns her a slap across the cheek from Malaysia.

MALAYSIA
Quiet slut!

Malaysia hefts Krista’s left breast up in her palm, feeling the large weight of it, and then resumes her hard and brutal squeezing and groping, making sure to keep her attention focused on the left breast.

MALAYSIA
You may be a million dollar piece of ass to everyone else, but you’re nothing but a two dollar whore to me.

Malaysia grabs Krista by the hair and begins leading her away from the wall. Desperate to be free, Krista begins pumping elbow after elbow into Malaysia’s bare and ripped midsection. She then drops to the floor, to tighten her legs around Malaysia’s ankles. The dominatrix is flung forward and driven to the ground by a drop toe hold.

KRISTA
You like pain, do you? I’ll give you pain, and not just the knowledge you spent three hours of your life watching The Lakers lose 122-86 to a team owned by a man more despicable than whoever invented the AIDs virus.

Krista rolls over onto her stomach, facing away from a groggy Malaysia. She slaps her gorgeous legs around Malaysia’s had, tightening it between her rich thighs.  Miss California begins doing pushups, effectively smashing Malaysia’s pretty face into the ground. Around the thudding of Malaysia’s face being driven into the floor, Krista can hear the enthused purrs of delight from her victim. Krista realizes this pattern of attack is getting her no where and promptly ends the face crusher.

MALAYSIA
Now you’re getting into the spirit of things!

Malaysia pops to her feet as if no facecrusher ever occurred, and flashes a thrilled smile at Krista.

KRISTA
You are one messed up GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Krista can’t finish because Malaysia has wrapped her hands around her throat. The former Women’s Champion lifts the current world champion up and tosses her onto the queen size bed. Krista lands in a heap, but quickly tries to scramble upright. This is made wholly impossible, by Malaysia smothering her with a silk pillow! Krista thrashes beneath the suffocating object, her mind filled with panic over what might happen should she pass out.

MALAYSIA
Hheehehheeheheh.

Krista’s world changes from a desolate blackness to a blurred vision of the dungeon as Malaysia removes the pillow. Krista is exhausted and can barely breathe with breath coming slow and heavy.  For that reason, Krista is too weak to prevent Malaysia from flipping her onto her naked stomach. Malaysia then pries open Krista’s blood red lips, jamming two fingers into her mouth in a fishhook. Krista whimpers from the harsh the treatment, which only causes Malaysia to pry even harder. Her big tan jugs hang down, perfect targets for Malaysia’s free hand.

MALAYSIA
What a disgusting slut you’ve become!

She fights against Malaysia, causing her rack to do a mesmerizing jiggle. Malaysia grabs onto Krista’s nipples, twisting them in impossibly painful ways. She squeezes them hard, almost as if she were trying to pry them off Krista’s very body. The world champion whimpers in agony, as Malaysia delights in tugging on the twin nubs without mercy.

Malaysia finally releases the fishhook on Krista’s mouth. Krista’s blond hair hangs about in disarray. Her exhausted panting turns Malaysia on, and she rubs her incredibly fit, nearly naked body.  Krista takes a moment to catch her breath and relax. But its all too fleeting a moment as Malaysia mounts her and begins nailing her with crossface forearms! The dominatrix has loud laughs pour from her red lips as Krista wilts beneath the furious blows. Yet, just as soon as the blows started so do they come to an end with Malaysia dismounting Krista. The world champion flops onto her back, her weary face reddened, and drenching wet from sweat.

MALAYSIA
Time to introduce a partner

Malaysia reaches over to a night stand and grabs hold of marital aid! She admires it the way one might admire a fine work art at the Guggenheim.

MALAYSIA
Kneel!

Malaysia forces Krista into a kneeling position.

MALAYSIA
(groping Krista’s breasts)
Get them wet.

In no mood to argue and in no shape to protest, Krista drops a wealth of slobber between her boobs to get them as wet as her sweaty forehead. Malaysia then forces her slightly forward, so that the marital aid nestles in the deep cleavage with her boobs hanging around it.

MALAYSIA
Let me that gorgeous face!

Tossing her sweaty blond hair back over shoulders, and arching her back, she looks straight into Malaysia’s admiring eyes so the dominatrix could see her pretty face and the marital aid between her glistening orbs. Malaysia slowly slides the tool up and down, and Krista matches the pace with her own rocking motions.

MALAYSIA
Wet them again!

Krista takes a time out to re-wet everything with prodigious salavia. Upon resuming the action, Malaysia gets her hands around Krista’s tits so she can press them together and twiddle the nipples between her fingers. She soon releases one grip on Krista’s breast so that she may begin choking the busty babe.

MALAYSIA
Mmmmmmmm.

Malaysia soon snaps back to reality, and turns her attention to the goal of winning the match. She grabs Krista’s legs and slingshots her into the wall over the bed. Krista falls backwards, landing in Malaysia’s arms, rubbing against her slick baby oiled skin. Malaysia takes a moment to savor this feeling before she throws Krista off the bed with a release German Suplex

KRISTA
(painfully)
Urrrrrrghhhhhh.

Krista agonized whimpers again cause Malaysia to fondle herself in delirious delight. This distraction allows Krista to crawl to her feet, she reaches out for a pink paddle and uses it to strike Malaysia in the head. The dominatrix takes the blow in stride and returns fire by slugging Krista in the stomach. She presses the world champion over her head and throws her forward, sending her crashing into a nearby table, loaded with whips, candles, and more. The bondage gear topples off the table, as does Krista. Though dizzied, a whip catches her eye and she reaches out for it.

KRISTA
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The reason for Krista’s scream is that Malaysia has driven her back boot onto her hand. While, Krista attends to her throbbing hand, Malaysia gathers up the whip that caught Krista’s blue eyes.

MALAYSIA
On your feet, whore!

Krista holds still, still worried about her aching hand. This enflames Malaysia, who violently snaps the whip against Krista’s leg. Not wishing to incur another brutal lashing, Krista hobbles upright.

Malaysia flicks out the whip and gives a little rap to the top of one big jug, then before it stops oscillating she hits the other one. The crop lands on her flesh with a satisfying little slap and Krista then thrusts them out farther.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

Krista bites her lower up but keeps her big boobs offered out to her tormentor like a fruit platter. Malaysia slaps them on the top, then slaps them on the bottom and watches them jiggle like water balloons as Krista chokes back her tortured gasps.

MALAYSIA
Hold ‘em up for me, bitch! Push ‘em out where I can see ‘em. Show me what a nasty slut you are. Show me how much you like getting your tits whipped, you hot slut.

Malaysia drops the whip to the floor beside her. She grabs hold of Krista, squeezing her into a bearhug, thrilled that her breasts are touching her’s. She then begins swinging Krista around, as if she wear now trying to break her victim in half.  Krista wants none of this and begins boxing Malaysia in the ears. This finally wins Krista her freedom.

MALAYSIA
That felt so good!

Krista shoots out a superkick at Malaysia. However, Malaysia ducks the attack and winds up behind Krista.  After taking hold of Krista’s hair, she slings the blond bombshell shoulder first into the wall. Pained by the attack, Krista sags down to the ground.

MALAYSIA
Now you’re at my mercy, slut.

Malaysia walks over to Krista AND GET SPRAYED IN THE EYS WITH A BOTTLE OF BABY OIL! This blinds Malaysia and prevents her from defending against the KIDology Krista nails her with! Malaysia falls to the floor, knocked out and defeated. Krista does not wish to push her luck by toying with the demoness, and hurriedly scatters to the door, she inches through it and slams it behind her!

DING DING DING

BUFFER
Your winner and still OAOAST World Champion….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAANNNNNN!

The referee raises Krista’s hand high into the air, and the worn down champion smiles a faint smile. That look of pleasure is quickly erased when BOHEMOTH SPEARS HER THROUGH THE DOOR!

COLE
Oh my god!

The big man mounts Krista and begins raining down a seemingly endless parade of punches. Its only when a wealth of officals come to pry Bohemoth away from Krista that the champion is given a reprive.

BOHEMOTH
I’m the face of this company! Me! Nobody else!

FADE OUT