Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We open up the show with the EXCITING~! image of Michael Cole standing inside a ring illuminated by several white spotlights. COLE OAOAST Marks, welcome to the final HeldDOWN before Anglemania Ten! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Tonight’s show will be as explosive as any show in the history of this company as we head to a historic Anglemania. At the top of the card we’ve got Krista Isdora Duncan challenging Jason Silver in a submissions count anywhere match for the OAOAST World Heayvweight Championship. Joining me here in the ring is OAOAST World Champion, Jason Silver! With that “Don’t Stop” by Innerpartysystem comes to life over the arena sound system. Stepping out from the backstage area, dressed in his cape like coat is the world chamion Jason Silver. As he pats his treasured title belt, silver pyro missiles spring forth from the sides of the entrance stage. He then strides down the entrance ramp, looking at the crowd with the same disdain they view him with. Upon entering the ring, he holds up his world title in a triumphant show of defiance to the sold out New York audience. COLE Jason Silver. SILVER Rocksault. COLE Rocksault. Do you feel any remorse for what you did to Krista last week? Pushing her off the entrance stage while she was trapped inside a trash can? SILVER Remorse? Remorse is for the weak. I am Jason Silver. I am Rocksault. I am strong! If you’re looking for remorse, go to a court room or an AA meeting. You won’t get it from me. COLE Many people would say you went too far last week. SILVER How many of the people who say that hold the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship? None of them. And how many have ever tasted the beautiful taste of greatness like I have. I’d assume very few. But, you know something, brother? If they were in my shoes, they would have done the same thing I did. These people who condemn my actions, if they held what I held, they to would’ve did to Krista what I did. COLE I don’t know about that, Jason. SILVER I do. Think about yourself for instance, Michael Cole. If you had Jim Ross, top man in this business, big time player in the industry, angling for your job what would you do? This unstoppable force is coming after you. He’s going to take everything you hold dear. This man is going to take your spot! And he’s going to send you back to a place you’ve fought so hard to get out of. You’d be upset wouldn’t you? COLE Well, yes. SILVER That’s right. And you’d take actions to prevent him for taking your spot. COLE I’d do my job to the best of my ability. SILVER And what if your best wasn’t good enough? What if he kept coming at you? If you had any pride or passion or self respect you’d do whatever it takes to stop him from taking your spot. And you know what else? You’d do it in such a way that he would never consider coming after it again. That’s what I did! Am I proud of it? No. Am I ashamed? Of course not. I did the only thing I could do. I protected my spot from a relentless invader. I'm the top man in this industry! No one will take that away from me! COLE What about showing mercy? SILVER Mercy is for the stupid? You called me the smartest world champion in OAOAST history. Does a smart man show any mercy? Not when his livelihood is threatened like mine was. Once again, I took the only course of action that was available to me. Pushing Krista off the entrance stage was an action laid out by fate. It was destiny. It was something that had to happen! I see what happens to people who show Krista mercy. She doesn’t return the favor. Actually she destroys them for their weakness. I won’t be that stupid! COLE But what about locking her into the 16th Minute? SILVER That? That was pleasure. Making people scream, making people suffer, that’s how I get my kicks and my jollies. And making Krista cry and hurt? That was just too much fun for words, Michael Cole. I had to teach that bitch a listen. I had to show her what happens to people who cross paths with Rocksault. I did her a favor. COLE How so? SILVER I was kind enough to give her a glimpse into the misfortune and misery that befalls anyone stupid enough to tangle with me. Hopefully, for her children’s sake, she’ll learn her lesson and stay away from Anglemania. COLE And if she doesn’t? SILVER Then I can’t be held responsible for what happens to her. "Don't Stop" fires back up as the Manhattan Center crowd hits the world champion with insults. LATER TONIGHT24 MAN LUCHADORE BATTLE ROAYLETONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 “I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT” The fans spew forth jeers and taunts as the entrance doors spread apart to reveal the intimidating force known as CPA. Cool to the very last, CPA puffs on a fine cigar and hides his eyes behind sharp sunglasses. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Miami, Florida, he is CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! CPA enters the ring as calm and collected as one can be. Showing that he’s not a selfish sort, he even offers Buffer a puff on his cigar. The legendary ring announcer politely refuses the kind gesture. COLE Christopher Patrick Allen is all out here alone because Bosley, J.Riggs, Pierce Duncan, Alix, Leon Rodez, and Simon Singleton have been banned from ringside for this match between Allen and Ned Blanchard. Someone once asked me do you know of a place with a gigantic snake’s head with flaming eyes. And I told them FUCK YEAH THAT PLACE IS THE OAOAST~! And that time is NOW! The snake’s head launches pillars of fire from its smoldering eyes, as “Slither” rocks its way into the arena. Coming through the fearsome serpent’s mouth are Ned Blanchard and Molly Nerdly! Blanchard psyches himself up for the contest, as film buff Molly Nerdly documents him on her video camera. BUFFER And the opponent, from Orange County, California, he is accompanied by Molly Nerdly, he is THE HANDSOME HUSTLER NEEEEDDDD BLLLANNNNHCCAAARRDDDDD! Suddenly Ned is swatted down by Bosley and Pierce Duncan as he heads along the entrance ramp. Molly and the fans watch in horror as Pierce chucks Ned shoulder first into the ring steps. The steel stairs are dislodged from the impact in which Ned hit them. COLE These guys aren’t supposed to be out here! While in aching in pure agony, Blanchard is deposited into the ring by CPA’s cohorts. DING DING DING With the bell having rung, Bosley and Piercey D retreat up the ring ramp, pumping themselves up and singing their own praises. COLE The match has just begun and CPA may already have it won. CPA stomps at Blanchard’s fallen and wounded body in the corner, making sure to target Blanchard’s sore arm. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer tries to interject himself between CPA and his former friend, but gets shoved aside by the big man. Allen then drags Blanchard to the center of the ring, where he nails his arm with more stomps. COACH Ned Blanchard is crazy to take part in this match after what happened to him. COLE I don’t think he had much of a choice! CPA steps onto the bottom rope, and then drops back down to slam his boot into Ned’s arm. Molly cringes at the painful sight of Ned in suffering. She and the audience then watch as CPA makes the cover… ONE! Blanchard gets his shoulder off the canvas. MOLLY (beating the ring apron) Let’s go Ned! “LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED! LET’S GO NED!” The chants rally Blanchard to his feet. Yet, he can’t offer any sort of attack, as CPA scoop slams him back down to the canvas. This is good enough for CPA to make another cover… ONE! TWO! Again, The Handsome Hustler lifts his shoulder off the canvas. COLE Ned Blanchard is all alone out here besides Molly. There’s no Alix, there’s no Leon Rodez, or Simon Singleton. COACH CPA is out here by himself to! COLE Yeah, after Detective Bosley and The Result jumped his opponent from behind. Ned is brought to his feet by the former boxer. CPA lifts him up, and drives him sore shoulder first onto the canvas with a devastating slam. Ned grits his teeth in frustration and agony, as Molly roots him on on the outside. COACH I don’t even think Molly should be out here. Who knows what kind of trickery she’s capable of? COLE Molly is probably the most harmless of all the Nerdlys. Blanchard comes to his feet, under his own volition. He’s woozy and as such is an easy target for CPA’s boxing inspired offense. COLE CPA used to train with Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson. He knows a thing or two about throwing punches. CPA drops Blanchard to the canvas with a powerful punch to his wounded arm. Ned curses in agony, as he’s pinned to the canvas by the big man… ONE! TWO! Blanchard again makes the timely kickout! COLE These two men will meet at Anglemania Ten in an explosive eight person tag team match that could set the tone for the war between Anglesault and the rest of the OAOAST. Blanchard is brought to his feet by CPA, who expects to deck his old friend with a right hook. But Blanchard sweeps behind CPA, and collars him into a sleeper hold! He then flings him backwards with a lethal sleeper suplex! COLE Angel’s Venom! As Molly cheers on the outside and the fans celebrate in the stands, Blanchard hooks onto CPA’s leg for pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING COACH Just like that its over? “Slither” returns to the arena, as an injured and weakened Ned struggles to his feet. He has his good arm raised by Molly, but the pain from the bad arm is evident on his face. COLE CPA had this contest firmly in control, but then Blanchard from out of nowhere hit Angel’s Venom and secured the victory. Ned’s moment of celebration comes to a sudden and violent end when he’s cracked in the back of the head by Bosley! BOSLEY Its Bosley Time, bitches! Bosley furiously pounds on Ned, beating him across the arena. Thinking he has Ned out on his feet, Bosley winds up for a huge haymaker. But as he throws it, Ned whips behind him. The Handsome Hustler catches Bosley into a sleeper hold, and then hurls him backwards with the Angel’s Venom! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Ned Blanchard just took out both members of VICE! Now Piercey D and J.Riggs make their return to the arena. They zip down the entrance ramp, eager to get their hands on Blanchard. But The Handsome Hustler slides out the ring, and he and Molly retreat up the entrance ramp. They’re joined at the top of the stage by Simon. After a brief discussion, and a realization that they have the brawn and skills, they charge to the ring. COLE Here they come! But Riggs and Piercey D vacate the battleground just as soon as the enemy troops arrive. The fans and the three performers deride them for their cowardice. However, Pierce and Riggs are absolutely fine with being branded cowards and skate up the entrance ramp to fight another day. COLE Folks, what a match its going to be at Anglemania! The Orange County Cobras, Leon Rodez, and Alix Maria Spezia taking on Pierce Duncan, James Riggs, and VICE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 Backstage we findMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD texting away on her cellphone. That is until Anglesault approaches her. ANGLESAULT I know you’re Duncan so your first instinct is to lay waste to my self esteem, and trample on my masculinity. MAYA I think the video from the office holiday party with you drunkenly performing a strip tease for Rico while singing Taylor Swift’s greatest hits has already accomplished that. ANGLESAULT That was avant garde performance art. MAYA That was make me want to gouge my eyes out and punt them into Japan performance art! ANGLESAULT Listen, little girl, and listen well. I’ve sent your own aunt after you and she’s going to crush your dreams of being OAOAST Women’s Champion. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be different. I can make you into a star. MAYA Because you’ve done such a brilliant job of making my Uncle Pierce look less like the incompetent goofball that didn’t stop wetting the bed till the age of fourteen! ANGLESAULT They make adult diapers for just that sort of thing, it’s a common disease in Jewish Caucasian males, be more understanding and sympathetic! What I’m trying to express to you is that I’m a star maker. I made the likes of Angle Plex, Zack Malibu, Ragdoll, Peter Knight, Bruce Blank and many others. But I don’t think any of them ever had the star potential that you do. You could be the next Miley Cyrus, or the next Selena Gomez. I could get you into movies, music, television, whatever your little heart desires. MAYA I’m sure a guy that’s employed a talking fish, a hovercam robot, and TWO wrestling cows, commands a lot of respect in the entertainment industry. Yeah, right! ANGLESAULT Or you can continue to do what you’re doing now and be a stuck up bitch just like your whore of a mother! SMACK! Maya flashes one last vicious snarl at a stunned Anglesault, before spinning around and exiting ANGLESAULT (calling after Maya) Your aunt is gonna make sure you don’t walk out of Anglemania with the Women’s Title. You can count on that!LATER TONIGHTKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN SPEAKSTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 Motley Crue's “Motherfucker of the Year” blasts through the speakers as Mr. Dick and Malaysia power walk to the ring. COLE Mr. Dick means business tonight. No golden pyro shower. COACH Disappointed, huh? The Real American Prick enters the ring and receives a mic from Malaysia. MISTER DICK Hey Douche, I heard what you had to say about me and my lady. Well I’m mad as hell and calling your cellulite-ridden ass out. COLE Oh, come on. Mr. Dick full well knows Deuce is in New York doing promotional work with other OAOAST superstars for AngleMania 10. The same kind he did last week, hence why he wasn’t in Providence for HeldDOWN~! MISTER DICK Come on, big boy. Show yourself to me, the BIGGEST superstar in the OAOAST past, present and future. Malaysia demonstrates how big Mr. Dick is with her hands. “Sweet Home Chicago” by the Blues Brothers Band hits and MD is taken aback. COLE Could it be? The cheers turn to jeers when a FATTY in a JUMBO MASK walks to the ring. COACH Hey, it’s Jumbo. COLE Are you kidding me? The fake Jumbo only makes it a few feet before he must stop to catch his breath. COLE It’s only a 2 hour show, you know. COACH First gays and now the physically unfit. Have you no compassion, Mikey Cole? The fake Jumbo finally makes it to the ring for a face to face encounter with MD. FAKE JUMBO Mr. Dick, I’m not here for a fight because I know you’d hand my ass to me. I’m here on behalf of my friend Douche Bag Bigelow. He’s got too much pride to say this himself so I’m gonna do it for him. Please, please be gentle on that ham-bacon -and-egger’s this Sunday at AngleMania. It’s his first time. MISTER DICK His first time, huh? FAKE JUMBO Yes, sir, Mr. Dick, his first time competing at AngleMania or against somebody your caliber. MISTER DICK Douche is lucky to have a friend like you, because nobody knows more about breaking in first timers than the Real American Prick. But I gotta say, it’s gonna be a wee bit different this time. And I know you and Douche know something about wee bits. COLE Give me a break. MISTER DICK See, I’m only gentle with double D’s of the female variety. So unless your friend morphs into a hot chick between now and this Sunday, he’s out of luck. Just like you if you don’t see the light. Having sneaked behind fake Jumbo, Malaysia delivers a LOW BLOW and then MD plants him with the JACKHAMMER! COACH I think he sees the light. *laughs* MD gets frisky with Malaysia as “Motherfucker of the Year” blares in the background. COLE Get these guys out of the ring. Folks, HeldDOWN live from the Manhattan Center continues!LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S...ANGLEMANIA TENSurvive Or Surrender Zack Malibu Vs AnglesaultOAOAST World Title, Submissions Count Anywhere "Rocksault" Jason Silver © vs. Krista Isadora DuncanWorld Tag Team Title Match D*LUX vs. LDC Moneygang ©Barbed Wire Match Bruce Blank vs. BohemothLast Man Standing Baron Windels vs. RejectWomen's Title, Eight Girl Scramble Match Lorelei DeCenzo © Vs Morgan Nerdly Vs Amberlyn Duncan Vs Maya Duncan-Blanchard Vs Maggie Nerdly Vs Melody Nerdly Vs Sophie Vs HollyLa Leyenda de la Máscara Tournament 18 man Torneo Cibernetico match7 Man Title Unification Match for the Heartland and United States Titlesp Todd Cortez (Heartland Champion) Vs Theodore Moneymaker (United States Champion) Vs Quiz Vs Tim Cash Vs Christian Wright Vs ThunderKid Vs Biffman Landon Maddix Vs Nathaniel Black VICE, James Riggs, and Pierce Duncan vs. The OCC's, Alix, and Leon Rodez Mr. Dick vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow Billy Cassidy vs. a OAOAST LegendSUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 3rdONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEWCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 We return from commercials to see that Liberty is already in the ring, proudly waiving the red, white and blue. BUFFER And his oppo- Dr. Lucha, Jr. I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The crowd turns hostile as El Galeno del Mal (the bad doctor) enters the arena with a microphone in hand. Dr. Lucha, Jr. Tonight you will witness history, you will learn that your preconceived notions are wrong! That your prejudices are exposed as bigoted!! USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. (Ignoring the chant) Tonight you will see the first match in the "Mini-Estrella road to greatness" trial series The crowd is not quite sure how to react to that since they don't know what the hell it is. Dr. Lucha, Jr. Tonight Gladiadorcito, the greatest Mini-Estrella proves that he is a great wrestler, not just a "great wrestler for his size". Now granted Liberty here is not much competition COLE Man way to bury your opponent COACH Just telling it like it is Cole, preach on Doctor!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. The road to greatness will take Gladiadorcito through successively taller opponents until he stands tall over the fallen body of even the tallest, beefiest OAOAST wrestler! So without further ado!!Ciña oh Patria! tus sienes de olivia USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. While he is only 4 foot 11 and only weighs 160 pounds you would be a fool to dismiss the sheer ability of the man from Puebla, Puebla, Mexico COACH Puebla, Puebla? Did he stutter? COLE Puebla is both the name of a town and a state in Mexico. COACH That's DUMB! Come up with new names you uncreative Mexicans! COLE You mean like new York? COACH We put "New" in front of it, making it a much better place than Old York.WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. Stand in awe of GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIADORCITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The diminutive luchador steps through the fireworks, looking as intense as a man in a mask can as he marches straight to the ring. Once he is up on the apron he removes his black and yellow robe, revealing the FILL Mini-Estrella's championship around his waist. COLE Why is he wearing that? It's obviously not a title match. COACH So you're saying Jason Silver should only wear his belt for title matches? COLE Well no COACH Then quit finding nits to pick you nerd! The yellow and black luchador climbs up the ropes from the outside; posing with the title belt held high in the air once he reaches the top. USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! Once the Mexican national anthem dies down Gladiadorcito jumps into the ring, then hands his belt to Dr. Lucha, Jr. at ringside before turning his attention to the All-American Boy across the ring from him. COLE Do you think Liberty is upset over losing his chance to go to AngleMania X? COACH Ah it's not like he really had a shot at qualifying, give a fool a chance and you still have a fool. COLE That's a bit harsh COACH Reality is harsh Cole, I'm not one of those people who will tell their kids that they're special just because they managed to not drool all over their shirts, I will tell them straight up "Son you're mediocre, don't get your hopes up" COLE WHAT? COACH Just like I tell you, Cole don't get your hopes up; the entire female population is out of your league, just pack up your bat and hit the showers! After that little trip into Coach's child raising practices we return to the ring just as the bell rings. Eager to prove himself Liberty strides forward, ready to lock up and have a good clean match. Unfortunately for Liberty Gladiadorcito is not exactly ready for "good and clean" as he launches into a sliding drop kick to Liberty's knee, taking the taller man to the ground in an instant. COACH It may be a cliché, but everyone is the same height when they are lying down. Eager to pursue the advantage he created for himself Gladiadorcito stomps away on Liberty's knee repeatedly. After the stomps he turns to a spinning toehold, twisting the patriot's leg in ways it was not meant to bend. COACH I bet Liberty is happy that he lives in the country with the best orthopedic surgeons in the world, he may end up needing one tonight. COLE Maybe not!! At that moment Liberty reaches up and is able to roll Gladiadorcito into a small package ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! The FILL Mini-Estrellas champion is quickly back on his feet, allowing his opponent a chance to get up as well. Once he is back on his feet Liberty tries to walk the pain in his knee off by running at the ropes, only to have his foot grabbed by Dr. Lucha, Jr. on the floor. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The inLiberty makes the red, white and blue blood of Liberty boil as he steps through the ropes to the apron to yell at Dr. Lucha. USA!! USA!! USA!! USA!! When it becomes apparently that Dr. Lucha, Jr. is not impressed by the patriotic rhetoric Liberty turns around and puts one leg through the ropes as he prepares to reenter the ring. Unfortunately Liberty has forgot to pay attention to Gladiadorcito and the diminutive luchador comes at him with a spin kick. The kick almost knocks Liberty out of the ring, but he manages to hand on to the top rope, teetering precariously on the second rope. COACH Liberty just got served!! COLE I think you did that joke the first time we saw the All-American Boys Coach, it was not funny then, it's not funny now. COACH Yes it is. With Liberty in the ropes Gladiadorcito quickly climbs up on the top turnbuckle. A split second later Gladiadorcito leaps off the top rope and lands a Guillotine Leg drop across Liberty's chest while he is still caught in the ropes HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! The move actually managed to flip Liberty 360 degrees in the air as he crashes to the floor on the outside while Gladiadorcito manages to land on his feet. Seconds later the Black and Yellow luchador is back inside the ring, distracting the referee as Dr. Lucha, Jr. stalking Liberty at ringside BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Instead of attacking Dr. Lucha, Jr. grabs Liberty by the trunks and tosses him inside the ring. COACH That's right Gladiadorcito does not need any help! COLE Unless he wants something off the top shelf. COACH On behalf of little people everywhere I'mma sue!! COLE You can't sue; you're not a little person COACH THAT IS DISCRIMINATION! I'MMA SUE!! COLE Oh brother. Wanting to prove just how strong he is, Gladiadorcito pulls Liberty to his feet, then lifts him up on his shoulders and applies the Torture Rack submission hold. COLE WHOA! Liberty is quite a bit bigger here COACH Dare to dream Cole!! This guy is here to prove that size does not matter and I'm a believer baby!! With his opponent locked in Gladiadorcito begins to jump up and down to add extra pressure on the Torture Rack, a tactic that pays off only seconds later as Liberty taps out DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Once the bell ring Gladiadorcito just drops his opponent and doesn't even look at him again. BUFFER Here is your winner, GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIADORCIIIIIIIIIIIITO!! Apparently the FILL Mini-Estrellas Champion does not want the referee to raise his hand in the air, instead he waits for Dr. Lucha, Jr. to step through the ropes, place the FILL title belt over Gladiadorcito's shoulder and then raise his hand in victory. COACH Puebla City representin'!! The final image of the match is of Gladiadorcito holding up one finger in the air, then quickly thrusting it downwards as if to say "One down". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 OAOAST HeldDOWN IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY-BLACK SWAN-NOW ON DVDM&Ms-THE OFFICAL CANDY OF ANGLEMANIABUD LIGHT-HERE WE GOTAPED WEDNESDAY Inside the palatial Los Angeles home of Krista Isadora Duncan we findMAGGIE NERDLY sitting in the lavish and ultra comfortable living room withKRISTA ISADORA DUNCANANDALIX MARIA SPEZIA MAGGIE What’s up, everyone? I’m here chillin’ in the awesome Beverly Hills home of one Krista Isadora Duncan, and I’m sitting with the lady herself and her girlfriend forever, Alix Maria Spezia. ALIX Shouts out to Jimmy 187! KRISTA Who's that? ALIX Don't know. Just made him. Makes me feel hood-rich to shout out imaginary gangstas. MAGGIE Krista, we all saw what happened to you last week on HeldDOWN. The question everyone’s been asking is will you miss Anglemania Ten? KRISTA Margaret, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I would however miss it for Rango. I love that Johnny Depp. ALIX He even looks like a fifty year old lesbian. Unreal. MAMAGGIE I guess this is a stupid question, but what was it like being placed in that dumpster? KRISTA Well, Maggie, unlike Christian Wright I was not deposited in a dumpster by a whore mother, unlike Lucius Soul I do not eat out the dumpster, and unlike Landon Maddix I do not browse dumpsters for magazines to use as masturbation fodder. I have the OAOAST Divas calendar for that. Miss July is my favorite. MAGGIE That’s me! Really? I’m your favorite? ALIX That’s no Jew Lie. Get it? ‘Cause she’s Jewish, and you’re Miss July? I kill myself! KRISTA Its jokes like those that make me wish you would. Yes, Maggie, you and your little string bikini have kept me company on those lonely nights when Alix is making a warship out of popsicle sticks and Fruit Loops to prepare for the invasion of Muslim terroists she’s so sure is coming after she's watched Glen Beck for five hours straight. I thank you, and you your lack of celluite profusely. Anyway, as you can guess being placed in a dumpster is an alien concept for me. Being thrown off the entrance stage inside said dumpster even more alien a concept, so alien it inhabits a far off galaxy known as the Milky Way. MAGGIE We’re in the Milky Way. KRISTA Don’t correct your elders. Not even when they look as young and as beautiful as you. Especially as young. But lets not forget beautiful. That’s also important. So, as I was saying to be pushed off the entrance stage, and then to be trapped inside that bastard’s submission hold on the day that he forgot to shower and smelled worse than Christian Wright’s diarrhea after I spiked his protein powder with laxatives, is what any sane person might call just a tiny, tiny, bit distressing. ALIX I personally thought the local Wal*Mart running out of fine hosiery that night was more distressing. KRISTA Gee thanks. AILX I really needed stockings. KRISTA Jason Silver is a swagless nerd who’s face looks like a moon rock. His skin ID number is PI. When he shows up to the arena, and knocks on the door to get in, the security guard will look through the peep hole and ask who ordered Pizza Hut. Jason Silver’s first appearance at OAOAST Headquarters was marked by the receptionist claiming she ordered him with anchovies. And most damning of all he hangs out with my brother Pierce. Pierce is the idiot that calls soap “babe repellent”. He and deodorant share the same chemistry as vampires and sunlight. I’ve put Pierce into a full nelson, ripped his arms off, slapped him around and tossed him into the air like pizza dough. The sad thing is I have met greater resistance snapping into a slim jim then snapping into his zebra cake biceps. Pierce is a trend hopping moron, who if he saw The Situation from Jersey Shore chowing down on feces, would ask you for the location of the nearest pooper scooper so he to could have a tasty treat. He sickens me not as his sister but as a human being. As for Jason Silver, he is dead to this horrible, awful, unjust, world. They’re preparing his bed in hell, he’ll be rooming with Ronald Regan, I’m sure they’ll love each other. They can braid each other’s hair, and they can sing P!nk songs which will hopefully damn that no talent freak to an eternal damnation with them. Regardless, Jason Silver is like Sean Penn in 1997 he’s Dead Man Walking. What I will do at Anglemania is something more than submit him. I will humiliate and embarrass him in record time, I will beat his scrawny ass faster than a crack head can pawn your shit. And that’s pretty fast as past dealings with Synth Abdul Jabbar have indicated. Hugs and kisses, from your favorite Jew, Krista Isadora Duncan. MAGGIE Krista, Alix, thanks!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 ith the arena coated in purple and pink lights, we return to Sofa Central to findHOLLY sitting with the announce team. COLE We’re joined at this time by Holly. Holly, why exactly are you here at Sofa Central? HOLLY What the (beep) do you think I’m out here for? I’m here to call the (beep) match, (beep) licker! COLE I’m sorry. HOLLY (beep) you! CUE:: Tonight We're longing for daylight Burning the same lie To find the ghost of you and I We're running from midnight Dying to ignite To find the ghost of you and I Bolts of electricity smash down onto the entrance stage, as the video screens fill with flashing images of electrical currents. A final powerful blast of electricity touches the entrance stage, wowing the audience. Stepping through wild blue spotlights is Morgan Nerdly, who’s blond hair hangs in front of her baby blue eyes. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of twenty minutes! Now making her way to the ring from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is a two time Women’s Champion, prepare for shock and awe from MORRGAAAANNNN NNNNEERRRRDDDDDLLLLLYYYYY! Morgan walks down the entrance ramp, shrouded in soft blue lights. She ignores the audience members even as they beg her for high fives and attention. COLE Why did you curse me for apologizing? HOLLY Only (beep) say sorry. And I don’t give two shits about respecting any (beep). BUFFER And her opponent, already in the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is MELISSAAAAA NEEEERRDDDLYYYY! Melissa shadow boxes an imaginary opponent before the crowd showers her with heat. In response to their negative words, Melissa not-so politely threatens to nail them where the “sun don’t shine”. HOLLY Hahahaa that’s my kind of a bitch. You have to let these (beep) know they aren’t worth two pints of (beep). Two pints of piss, you’d probably gulp down in a second, Cole. COLE Folks, we apologize for Holly’s language. HOLLY What the (beep) did I tell you about apologizing? DING DING DING Melissa and Morgan lock up in the center of the ring. The Nerdly two girls tussle and claw at one another until they wind up in the orange ring ropes. Referee Charles Robinson calls for a clean break, but gets none of that as Morgan shoves Melissa to the center of the ring. Finally, Melissa uses her strength advantage to snap away from Morgan. Melissa loudly whines about a low blow even though Morgan’s hands were tangled in the lockup the whole time. COACH Filthy cheater right, Holly? HOLLY Damn right. Every one of you (beep) suckers thinks because this (beep) is little she can’t do dirt. She does (beep) dirt! Melissa captures Morgan inside a side headlock before she can reset herself. Little Morgan attempts to power her into the ropes, but doesn’t have the strength. As such Melissa sinks down to her knees and keeps the headlock applied. MELISSA I’m gonna shake up the world! I’m the greatest! COLE Melissa would be best served taking this two time women’s champion more seriously. Wouldn’t you agree, Holly? HOLLY I don’t give a squirt of (beep) what Melissa does as long as it (beep) hurts Morgan. Morgan finally is able to rid herself of Melissa by bridging backwards and dumping her to the canvas. Melissa quickly scatters to her feet and finds her way to the corner. Not wanting any part of Morgan, Melissa pulls the referee in front of her to discuss the latest in current events. Morgan thinks about complaining, but doesn’t wish to insult the referee and draw anyone’s anger. As such she simply stews in her frustration. COLE Melissa wants nothing to do with Morgan early on. COACH Can you blame her? The bitch is crazy! Melissa finally steps out the corner and is caught inside a side headlock. Morgan uses what little strength she has in her small body to upend Melissa with takedown. She isn’t able to keep Melissa still for very long, however, as her sister traps her lean legs around her neck. COLE Melissa doing a good job of keeping Morgan grounded. Morgan kips out the hold, expertly breaking through Melissa’s grip. COACH You jinxed her! HOLLY (beep) you, Cole. Melissa is quick to her feet and fires off a left cross that connects with Morgan’s jaw. Melissa then grabs onto her younger sister’s arm and wrenches on it. Morgan quickly tries to cartwheel out the hold. However, Melissa keeps her arm trapped and forces Morgan down to the canvas. This creates a pinning predicament and referee Robinson makes the count… ONE! Morgan bridges out the pin! She rolls backwards and springs to her feet, thinking she can escape the hold. However, Melissa follows through and keeps the arm wringer retained. Morgan is desperate and retries her cartwheel effort. This time instead of turning all the way over, she wraps her little legs around Melissa’s neck. Melissa becomes panicked and rightly so; Morgan flips her over with a headsicssors takedown! COLE What exactly is your problem with Morgan, Holly? HOLLY She’s a (beep) crazy little (beep)! Her kind oughta be locked up in a (beep) cage somewhere in a (beep) third world country. (beep) her! Morgan bounds off the ropes, timing her return to when Melissa gets to her feet. She leaps onto her sister’s head for a headsicssors then swings around into an armbreaker bulldog! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Melissa experienced some Electrical Turbulence on that flight. Morgan nervously looks to referee almost for approval as she covers Melissa for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Melissa brings her shoulder off the canvas. She retreats to the corner to catch her breath, sitting against the bottom posts. Morgan chews on her hair, unsure of what to do next. At the crowd’s urging she goes over to Melissa, and pays for it by being dragged head first into the second turnbuckle. Now its Morgan who sags against the bottom post. Melissa takes advantage of this position by choking her with her white boot. MELISSA I’m a bad woman! You heard me I’m a bad woman! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” At the referee’s request, Melissa finally releases Morgan from her torment. The littlest Nerdly crawls away from the corner posts, but is slapped on the head during her travels. This angers the volatile Morgan and she responds by smacking Melissa with a knife edge chop! COLE Morgan showing some fire! Melissa fires off a right jab. However, Morgan takes this blow in stride and comes back with a devastating 180 back elbow! Morgan looks a little concerned over having hurt her sister. This sympathy costs as Melissa explodes upwards for a Eulogy! COACH Its over! Melissa casually drapes her arm across Morgan’s chest for the cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO MORGAN KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MELISSA “MORGAN! MORGAN! MORGAN!” Melissa grabs Morgan by her golden hair and hauls her upright. MELISSA (screaming in Morgan’s ear) I am the greatest that’s ever lived! I am the greatest that’s ever been born! Melissa goes for another Eulogy! But this time Morgan shoves her into the ropes. Melissa responds by bouncing back and clocking her with a running uppercut! Another pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Melissa shoots the referee a nasty glare as she brings Morgan to her feet. An Irish whip then sends the smaller girl into the corner. Melissa charges after her younger sister, but eats a raised boot when she reaches her. Melissa staggers backwards, leading Morgan to strike her with a kick to the ribs. Another one follows, and a third one comes shortly thereafter. Melissa is then rocked by a roundhouse to the face! COLE Lightening Kick! Melissa comes to her feet, clutching her sore face. Her problems mount as Morgan runs forward and nails her with an elbow. This knocks Melissa over, but she’s quick to her feet. However, this is useless to Melissa as Morgan rocks her with another elbow. COLE Holly, what do you think of Biffman rejecting Abdullah Abir Nerdly’s offer to join the Chruch of Abdullah? HOLLY What a (beep) (beep)! I was ready to spread my (beep) legs and let his super powered (beep) give me the (beep) of a lifetime. COLE Don’t you have a husband? HOLLY He’s what I’ve got a (beep) mouth for. I may not have (beep) super powers, but I give super head. COLE Morgan measures Melissa as she begins to rise. She grabs onto her throat, causing immediate worry to appear on Melissa’s face. COACH Illegal choke! Before the referee can warn Morgan, she sweeps out leg of Melissa for a choke STO! The audience praises Morgan, who looks slightly unnerved by having choked her own sister. However, she pursues her attack by bringing Melissa onto her shoulders. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans celebrate the arrival of Shock & Awe! But Melissa frantically scrambles her way down Morgan’s back for a victory roll. Yet no pin can be made for Melissa as Morgan reverses the hold into a pinfall of her own… ONE! TWO! Melissa finds her way out the pinfall! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Morgan looks worried over having only gotten a two count. Despite her frayed nerves, she retreats to the ropes. But when she bounces back, Melissa levels her with a left cross. HOLLY (beep), I loved seeing that! Melissa hooks onto Morgan’s bare legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” HOLLY I should get into that ring and drive my (beep) combat boots into that referee’s sack. Melissa resorts to choking her sister in order to press her advantage. Morgan squeals in agony, as the fans become worried over her health. COLE Now that’s an illegal choke. HOLLY What the (beep) do you care? COLE I care about fairness. I care about Morgan’s health! HOLLY That just makes you a bigger bitch than I first thought. Melissa scrapes her younger sister off the canvas and slams her face into the turnbuckle posts. Weary, Morgan sags against the turnbuckles, which allows Melissa to plant her white boots into her exposed chest. COLE And a HARD shot by Melissa Nerdly, who’s boyfriend Reject will face Baron Windels at Anglemania Ten live from New York City. Melissa latches onto Morgan’s sun coloured hair and drags her towards the center of the ring. She lifts her up for a body slam, but is stunned to find that Morgan rolls her into a pin… ONE! TWO! Melissa barely beats the three count! COLE Morgan was so close to taking home the victory. An angered Melissa takes out her frustrations on Morgan by clubbing her in the back. Melissa then grabs hold of Morgan’s throat with her hands in set up for a chokeslam. But the dangerous move never gets executed as Morgan stabs Melissa in the stomach with her black boots. The littlest Nerdly tries to take off to the ropes, but Melissa surprises her by grabbing onto her hair and slamming her down to the canvas. Another pinfall is attempted… ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas. COLE You’ll always get a lot of heart out of Morgan. HOLLY You seem to love this bitch. COLE I admire Morgan a great deal. Melissa allows Morgan to rise under her own power, forcing her baby sister to expend her own energy. From there she latches onto Morgan’s arm and pulls her in close to rock her with a short armed elbow strike. Morgan timbers backwards, falling to the canvas. COLE Melissa looking to make a statement here on HeldDOWN that she should have been included in the scramble match at Anglemania. Melissa scoops Morgan up and drives her down across her out stretched knee for a back breaker. Morgan wails in pain, as agony shoots thorough her back. Melissa stretches her out, trying her hardest to maker her kid sister submit to a simple submission. Despite the incredible woe of the hold, Morgan refuses to give up. She uses her little legs to kick back at Melissa, driving her knees into her skull. This wins her freedom, and she dizzily comes to her feet. An annoyed Melissa throws out a right hook only for Morgan to duck and take her onto her shoulders. The fans rise to their feet and pop for the arrival of the Shock & Awe. But the famous hold will never be executed as Melissa again slips Morgan’s clutches. Morgan spins around and drops Melissa to her knees with a dropkick to her legs. Melissa is hobbled and can only watch Morgan bounces off the ropes. When the former police inspector returns she nails Melissa with a sliding lariat! COLE Morgan got down with the Electric Slide! Morgan covers Melissa for the pin… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! NO! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” the fans chant as Morgan implores the referee to count faster. Morgan begins to pull Melissa off the canvas, but Melissa tries for another Eulogy! Morgan again shoves her sister into the ropes to avoid the dangerous finisher. But as Melissa returns, she regains the offensive advantage by cutting down the smaller competitor with a lariat! COLE What a powerful clothesline from Melissa Nerdly. Melissa retreats to the ring apron, and climbs to the top rope. COLE This is unusual for a woman who’s offense is inspired by famous boxers. Melissa never gets a chance to execute her high flying attack as Morgan yanks out her leg, crotching Melissa onto the top turnbuckle. COLE High risk low reward for Melissa! Morgan climbs up onto the top rope to join her sister. Melissa tries to fight her off with a pair of left jabs. These blows do little to harm Morgan, and she takes her sister onto her shoulders. Melissa attempts to squirm free, but her efforts are in vain as Morgan throws her over with an F-U! COLE Shock & Awe! HOLLY Shit! Morgan drops down onto Melissa for the crucial pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!!!!!!! DING DING DING! HOLLY (slamming her headset down in frustration) (beep) this shit! “The Ghost Of You and I” plays as the camera pans around the arena to find fans celebrating Morgan’s victory. One person not celebrating is Holly, who’s crawled into the ring. COLE Look out Morgan! Morgan turns around, only to be booted in the stomach by Holly’s combat boot. The Angel Death roughly drags Morgan into a front facelock and signals for the Percussion DDT. However, Morgan uses every last drop of strength in her tiny body to shove Holly into the ropes. The cables try to spew Holly back towards a waiting Morgan. But realizing the danger that awaits her, Holly slides beneath the ropes. With Morgan watching her with narrowed and angry eyes she makes a hasty retreat to the entrance ramp. COLE Those two will have their chance to get their hands on another this Sunday at Anglemania Ten! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 And now, the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by the AngleMania X collector‘s magazine available now at newsstands everywhere and online at OAOAST.com!HeldDOWN~! LAST WEEKMalibu rolls out of the ring and pulls up the apron, and reaching under it he drags out A PANE OF GLASS, drawing a raucous ovation! COACH YO... COLE Oh God. Zack, what are you doing!? Zack carefully slides the glass into the ring, and then gets in and picks it up, setting the ends on each chair so that it's elevated off the surface of the ring. COLE He's just made a makeshift glass table! Sandman is motionless, but Zack grabs him and leads him to his feet. Looking up the entranceway, Zack shouts "ANGLESAULT!" before pulling Sandman up onto his shoulders and spinning him down, sending him crashing through the glass with an ANGLE SLAM~! COLE If that wasn't a message, I don't know what is! Glass flies everywhere, and a spent Malibu crawls on top of Sandman, draping an arm across his chest. ONE! TWO! THREE! The fans, who were on their feet for nearly the entire match, remain on their feet to celebrate, as Charles Robinson raises the hand of the hometown hero. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAALLLLIBUUUU! This has been the OAOAST SPINEBUSTER OF THE WEEK, presented by the AngleMania X collector’s magazine available now at newsstands everywhere and online at OAOAST.com! Back live in the arena, we SWOOP over to Double C at Sofa Central. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, this Sunday live on pay-per-view the OAOAST proudly presents AngleMania X from the world’s most famous arena, Madison Square Garden. One of the feature confrontations will be a last man standing match between “The Lone Star Gunslinger” Baron Windels and Reject in which the Deadly Alliance will be handcuffed to the ringposts to prevent another incident like the one at Anglepalooza where BW was viciously assaulted in a men’s room. However, as we just saw, the DA is down a man thanks to Zack Malibu. COACH A week later and Reject is still fuming. Just ask OAOAST President Alfdogg. COLE Here’s what Coach is referring. It happened just a few days ago on OAOAST Syndicated.OAOAST SYNDICATED - EARLIER THIS WEEKAlfdogg was seen chatting with Melody Nerdly about the latest Mass Effect downloadable add on when Reject, ThunderKid and Melissa burst into his office. Reject was heated, highly upset about Sandman's crushing defeat to Zack Malibu this past week on HeldDOWN~! Reject complained that Sandman would be out of commission for an indefinite period of time, and blamed Alfdogg for this. Alf retorted that Sandman was the one who entered the match on his own and his injuries are no body's fault. Reject, of course, disagreed. But unable to do anything else about it, he promised to take out his frustrations on Baron Windels at Anglemania Ten. COLE As result, Reject has decided to boycott tonight’s show in protest of what he calls an unsafe work environment. His opponent at AngleMania, Baron Windels, is here and he’s standing by with our colleague Terry Taylor. We cut to the guys at the highly expensive backstage interview lounge. TERRY Well Baron, you’ll finally get Reject one on one this Sunday at AngleMania 10. BARON No pinfalls, no submissions, Reject. We fight till the last man standing. And I promise you I will be that man. BW exit’s the lounge. TERRY Baron Windels: a man of few words. But like he says, actions speak louder and you can bet we'll see plenty of action this Sunday live on pay-per-view at AngleMania 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 COLE Thanks, Terry. Folks, Anglemania is just days away, and it promises to be amazing show. Many experts are saying it has the potential to be the best Anglemania yet. We’ll see such superstars as Landon Maddix, Bruce Blank, Baron Wind- ABDULLAH (OS) Brothers and sisters, brothers and sisters! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as they spot Abdullah Abir Nerdly being lowered from a pulpit from the ceiling! COLE Is this guy making a joke? ABDULLAH Be amazed for the speaker for the prophets descends from the very heavens to spread the good word! The word of truth and of peace! COACH Thank the god lord! ABDULLAH I have been labeled an evil villain by Biffman! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ABDULLAH No, my children, this label is not something to cheer. These parasites in the OAOAST are mocking your spiritual leader. In this regard I recall a well known story of four bulls. I wish to tell you this parable, my children, because when disaster falls upon your brothers and sisters, you look at it with apathy and think this disaster will not touch your house. But it shall! Four bulls, three blacks and one white one lived in a dangerous area where there were many wolves and predators. The bulls survived due to the fact they stood together and fought together. But the three black bulls separated form the white one, saying he is not the same colour, he unmasks us. COACH Reverse racism isn’t cool. ABDULLAH Look at the similarity of what is happening today! When I was labeled a criminal and a villain by Biffman, no one stood up to defend me. But everyone should have rushed to my aid. Because tomorrow the coward known as Biff Atlas may do the same to you! If it is not the word villain, it will be the word terrorist. If it is not the word terrorist it will be some other word. But he will brand you, and he will ruin your life! And now the continuation of my story. When the wolves saw the discord among those four bulls they immediately attacked and ate the white bull, and the other three bulls calmly watched as the wolves ate their mate. When the wolves ate the white bull, they were quick to attack the others. They attacked and ate the bulls one after another. When it came to the last bull they chased this bull for a long time. And at the last moment when wolves caught this last bull it said words we should all mull over “I do not die now. I died when the white bull was eaten. The day when I left the white bull alone, that day I was eaten, and that day I was murdered!” COACH Powerful speech right here. ABDULLAH The day you allowed me to be branded a villain by Biff Atlas is the day of your demise, my children! However, there is a man willing to defend our honor as spiritual beings. He is the holy warrior known as Quiz! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ABDULLAH And he shall make sure atrocities to our names are no longer committed and he will destroy the true villain, Biffman! Woe be to Biffman for his body and his soul will be taken and crushed by the heroic Quiz! Fear Quiz, Biffman, fear him! Abdullah and his pulpit are raised back to the ceiling as the audience showers him with jeers. We're backstage in one of the many hallways of the arena in New York City and there is The Cow, roaming alone, most likely because his partner Bribón is getting ready for the Leyenda de la Máscara qualifying Battle Royal later that night. In the land of Kayfabe the two men in a cow suit does not count as "Masked" and as such they were S.O.L. tonight. The Cow looks around, then noticed a pile of grass that someone apparently left behind. Then he sees a sign "Free grass for hungry cows" The Cow turns and looks straight at the camera, bursting through the fourth wall, with an expression that seems to ask one of two questions 1) If they know we’re two dudes in a suit why give us grass?? Or 2) If they think I'm a cow how am I supposed to read the sign?? With either question really requiring a good answer to be believable the Cow looks around a little cautiously. Then when he looks up in the air the Cow notices a cage suspended from the ceiling. Then he gives a "Do you really think I'm going to fall for that" kind of snicker. He looks around and notices that there is a rope stretched from the cage, through a pulley on the ceiling and stretching into one of the rooms nearby. *"I am about to get them so good" Cow noises* Shushing his hind end the Cow slowly tip toes... erm... tip hoofs across the floor to the door. Then on the count of Moo the Cow bursts through the door, kicking it open with the force of at least two men. Once the Cow stumbles through he looks up and is surprised to see that he's actually not in a room but in a large freezer truck MOO? SLAM!! SLAM!! Two heavy doors are shut behind the Cow and then locked. After a hard knock on the door the Freezer truck drives off, revealing a logo for Sullivan's Slaughterhouse on the side of the truck. When we zoom out we see Divine Brother Uno and Dos standing on the loading dock, laughing as they wave goodbye to the truck UNO See ya T-Bone!! DOS Without his buddy to back him up that little turd will be easy to handle. UNO Damn straight! Brother we just locked up this whole tournament. DOS First we win the Battle Royal, then La Leyenda... UNO THEN THE WORLD!! UNO and DOS MUA HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!! UNO Let's go qualify. DOS Yeah! Make it four in a row Both Conquistadors pause for a moment, then look at the voodoo doll that has been the source of all their success recently - well as much success as beating a mind-controlled guy, a team by intentional DQ and a match that they actually lost but made people think they won With me so far? UNO Four in a row DOS And then... (Whispers for dramatic effect) the world! UNO MUA HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!! With the Cow in the truck, possibly on the way to the slaughterhouse Los Conquistadors head back to their locker room to get ready for the match.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 We find ourselves backstage whereMELODY NERDLY is playing Mass Effect 2 on the 360 while...MOLLY NEDLY watches, somewhat bored. MELODY As I understand it, I’ve been included into this eight girl scramble match at Anglemania Ten. Personally, I don’t think that makes much sense because No Homo can only have six characters on the screen at one time, one of the limitations for also programming for the PS2. Upgrade to the PS3, you broke losers! MOLLY For the love of all that’s holy, the match is conducted in a real ring. MELODY Real ring? Does not compute. MOLLY In real life! MELODY Real life? What a drag, its so much easier when you just disconnect the Ethernet cable when you’re getting your lunch handed to you. So who’s in the match? MOLLY Maya Duncan-Blanchard. MELODY Has she ever beat Kefka in Final Fantasy III in less then ten minutes using Gau, the worst character in the game, as a party member? I have. She's not even old enough to have played Final Fantasy III for that matter! Next participant. MOLL Lorelei DeCenzo MELODY Has she ever captured Lunatone in Pokemon Ruby? No. Trick question, Lunatone can only be caught in Pokemon Sapphire. MOLLY Oh brother. Maggie is also in the match. MELODY Has she ever touched my race times on Mario Kart for Nintendo DS? No she hasn’t. MOLLY Sophie will be in the contest. MELODY The French don’t even get games until six months after they release in Canada, she’s not even worth comparing. She’s probably still playing Super Mario Land on the original Gameboy. MOLLY What do any of these things have to do with your ability to win a Women’s Title scramble match? MELODY It shows I’m built for tough situations! If I can handle the pressure in some of the toughest video game trials, I can easily win the Women’s Title. Nobody stands a chance against me. I can’t wait to update my Myspace about it. That’s right I said Myspace. I’m bringing it on back! MOLLY (OS) Good grief. Unable to take any more of her sister's weirdness Molly gets up and leaves.COMING UP NEXT24 MAN LUCHADORE BATTLE ROYALNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 There is a buzz in the air as we see Ricardo Montalban, Jr. enter the ring, looking as dapper as ever as he gets ready to do the introductions to the next match. RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. Ladies and Gentlemen, Señoras y Señoritas the following match is a qualifier for the 2011 Leyenda de la Máscara tournament that will take place at AngleMania X!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! CARDINAL Man this will be a packed card for AngleMania, adding the Leyenda de la Máscara to the already announced matches. COACH Yeah we can always use an opening match. CARDINAL Openi... COLE Ignore him, he's just unhappy he does not get to wrestle me at AngleMania, he does not like it when he's not the center of attention. CARDINAL Announcers wrestling at the biggest show of the year? That's an absurd notion. RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. Before we bring out the 24 participants for this Battle Royal I will briefly explain the rules of the match. As with all battle royals you are not eliminated until both feet touch the floor, but unlike other battle royals the ORDER of elimination matters. The first 7 people eliminated will NOT qualify for La Leyenda de la Máscara. After the seventh elimination the order is used to determine the teams and the order each wrestler enters the ring CARDINAL Something which is crucial in a Torneo Cibernetico, they have a batting order you have to adhere to. RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. All odd numbered eliminations, starting with 7, will be on Team 1, while all even eliminations will be on Team 2. The winner of the match will captain Team 2, while the runner up will captain team 1. COACH Too long, don't care. CARDINAL Cooch you are truly an icon of today's youth. COACH Thank you CARDINAL ---And their lack of attention span. COACH What were we talking about again? RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. So coming to the ring in no particular order are El Juez, Hijo del Infierno I, Espiritu Negro, Hijo del Infierno II, El Camaleón, Bribón, Aviador Divina, Tigre Azteca, Guerrero Dorada, Cadeto Rosa, Cadeto Amarillo, Cadeto Azul, J-MAX! Arlequin Verde, Arlequin Rojo, Mariachi, Arma Mortal, Maniaco IV, Maniaco V, Slime and Snot, and finally all three members of Los Conquistadors!! The 24 competitors walk to the ring and get in without too much fanfare, although it's obvious that there is a tecnico and a rudo side forming in the ring. The last three competitors are Uno, Dos and the recently rechristened Tres, also known as "It" the Alien who this week is just spray painted gold in a few places to sort of give the impression that he's a Conquistador. COACH What are the odds of Los Conquistadors making it 4 wins in a row? COLE Phenomenally bad, then again I'm still shocked that they defeated Bribón and the Cow last week COACH I'm not even sure how they pulled that off... In fact I'm not sure how they won either COLE and COACH But Los Conquistadors won! Cardinal looks a little confused over Coach and Cole's strangely glassy eyed state as they try to remember what happened the previous week. Mind-control is a hell of a thing. Once "It" finally manages to climb through the ropes one of the referees calls for the bell. DING!! DING!! DING!! DING!! The two sides immediately rush each other and begin to brawl, 48 fists go flying left and right as everyone tries their best to qualify for MILLF's biggest annual tournament. Moments after the match begins Los Hijos del Infierno and Espiritu Negro combine to throw "It" the Alien out of the ring with so much force that he actually tumbles down the aisle. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 1 Wrestler: "It" the Alien Eliminated By: Hijo del Infierno I, Hijo del Infierno II, Espiritu Negro Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 23Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 COLE The most unorthodox wrestler in OAOAST has just been eliminated. COACH AND HOW! "It" seems to be unaware of the rules as he crawls back towards the ring, crawls up the turnbuckle and sits on the top rope so he can get his hands on Conquistador Uno. Dos quickly intervenes and stops "It" before he can lock his snakelike hands around Uno's throat as he shakes the voodoo doll hanging on a strap around his neck. "It" immediately lets go of Uno and then limply falls forward, hanging off the top rope into the ring as his feet are still locked around the top turnbuckle. COACH Come on now he was eliminated! CARDINAL Yeah somehow I don't think he read up on the rules before the match. In the ring several groups pair off in various parts of the ring, J-MAX is getting double teamed by Los Maniacos while Cadeto Rosa sticks closely to Mariachi as they both try to lift Arma Mortal over the top rope. Arlequin Verde, eager to prove that he belongs in the match after stealing the All-American Boys' spot in the match grabs Bribón by the throat and the trunks and lifts him up over his head. When he runs towards the ropes, hoping to eliminate the diminutive luchador early in the match. Mid-move Bribón squirms out of the grip, and then takes Arlequin Verde down with a Frankensteiner. The momentum of the Frankensteiner throws Arlequin Verde at Tigre Azteca who ducks down and throws Arlequin Verde over the top and straight to the floor. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 2 Wrestler: Arlequin Verde Eliminated By: Tigre Azteca Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 22Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 CARDINAL I think both Freedom and Liberty would have lasted longer than that! COACH Are you kidding me? They even lost to Los Conquistadors! How pathetic is that. COLE And neither of these men have qualified for the AngleMania match. For some reason most of the wrestlers ignore "It" as he just hangs there like a ragdoll, deciding to focus on their personal issues instead. One man who does not ignore "It" however, is El Juez who pulls the limp man up so he is sitting on the top rope, then clotheslines the Alien out of the ring, sending him tits over ass to the ground BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! CARDINAL He was already eliminated; this does not count for El Juez COACH No but I bet it felt good!! Building on his success El Juez quickly grabs Cadeto Amarillo by the throat and tosses him over the top rope. Amarillo lands on the apron and tries to get back in only to take a boot to the face from El Juez COLE Right to the face! COACH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND HE'S OUTTA THERE!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 3 Wrestler: Cadeto Amarillo Eliminated By: El Juez Eliminated: None Remaining in the match: 21Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 COLE Why is Cadeto Amarillo wearing a plain white mask tonight instead of his usual Cadeto mask? CARDINAL I talked to him before the match and he told me that he was so embarrassed that the Last Kings of Scotland stole his mask last week that he's not putting on another Cadeto match until he gets it back from Scottish Scott. COACH Blah, blah, blah is all I hear. In the ring Arlequin Rojo manages to sneak up on Guerrero Dorada from behind to toss him over the top rope. Fortunately for Dorada he manages to hold on to the top rope and then skins the rope back into the ring. Unfortunately for Arlequin Rojo he's too close to the man he thought he eliminated as Dorada locks his legs around Arlequin Rojo's head and drags the clown over the top rope to the floor. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 4 Wrestler: Arlequin Rojo Eliminated By: Guerrero Dorada Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 20Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 CARDINAL Two more eliminations before people start qualifying for AngleMania Gurrero Dorada is almost eliminated when Espiritu Negro kicks him in the back but he manages to keep one foot off the floor before sliding back in the ring COLE He narrowly avoided that elimination! COACH Man the perfect man for a battle royal would be a one legged wrestler, he could never be eliminated. COLE Oh dear lord you've been online writing fan fiction again haven't you? COACH What are you talking about? COLE One of those fantasy feds where you pretend to be a wrestler, I bet you wrote a character called "Peg Leg Pete" or something. COACH (Nervously) Don't be ridiculous CARDINAL Yeah don't be ridiculous Peg Leg Pete would never let anyone use his trademark that way. It looks like J-MAX may be the fifth man eliminated from the match as both Maniacos have him teetering on the top rope as they both try their best to push him over the top. COLE You know these old geezers really have it out for J-MAX COACH Distinguished veterans Cole, distinguished veterans and everyone has it out for J-MAX, he's an annoying little punk. The Birmingham Bad Boy tries to remain in the match as he locks both Maniacos in a front headlock as they push him off the top rope to the apron. Los Maniacos try to pry J-MAX's hands off their necks but slowly but surely he drags them over the top as well as he is laying on the apron with both brothers teetering on the top. With every ounce of strength in his body J-MAX manages one last pull and twist that sends both Maniacos over the top rope to the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 5 Wrestler: Maniaco IV Eliminated By: J-MAX Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 19Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 6 Wrestler: Maniaco V Eliminated By: J-MAX Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 18Did not qualify for the Leyenda de la Máscara 0==========================0 COLE Man they do not look happy at all CARDINAL So what else is new? The two brothers disregard all rules and kicks J-MAX in the head, knocking him off the apron despite being eliminated from the match. CARDINAL Unfortunately that counts as an elimination, his feet touched the ground. Both Maniaco IV and V celebrate as they think they just cost J-MAX a chance at the Leyenda de la Mascara tournament at AngleMania X RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. J-MAX has qualified for Team number 1!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 7 Wrestler: J-MAX Eliminated By: Maniaco IV and Maniaco V Eliminated: Remaining in the match: 17Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 Los Maniacos are incensed, not just because J-MAX qualified but also because they were a split second from qualifying themselves. Not satisfied with just qualifying J-MAX grabs a chair from ringside and attacks Los Maniacos, striking IV over the back of the head before security shows up to break up the fight and lead them to the back. COACH Is "It" still at ringside or am I seeing things? Coach often sees stuff in his mind that is different than reality but this time he is absolutely right, "It" is lying at ringside after being eliminated earlier in the night. The focus quickly goes from ringside to the ring where Los Hijos del Infierno both hip tosses Guerrero Dorada over the top rope to the floor BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! But Dorada manages to save himself as he landed on "It" the Alien. Moments later Dorada leaps up on the timekeeper’s table, looking to leap back onto the ring. COLE HOLY SHIT!! Dorada leaps off the table, onto the apron... AND EATS A BOOT TO THE FACE BY ARMA MORTAL!! COACH OOOH FUCK YEAH!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 8 Wrestler: Guerrero Dorada Eliminated By: Arma Mortal Eliminated: Arlequin Rojo Remaining in the match: 16Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 After a couple of close calls Guerrero Dorada is unable to prevent his elimination as he falls to the ground like a sack of tacos. Moments later we see Snot and Slime try to throw Aviador Divina out of the ring, only for Uno and Dos to sneak up behind the Masked Mutants, grab them by their dirty tights and tossing them over the top rope to the floor. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 9 Wrestler: Snot Eliminated By: Uno Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 15Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 10 Wrestler: Slime Eliminated By: Dos Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 14Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 Los Conquistadors' mini celebration is cut short as "It" suddenly slides into the ring, trying to either apply a leg lock or perhaps try to bite their ankles. COACH Okay can we PLEASE get this guy out of here? COLE Well what do you want? You want us to write him a note? You speak Alien’ese? CARDINAL I'm sure that he will leave the ring... eventually. COLE Yeah I mean at some point they will take the ring down. In the ring the remaining 14 wrestlers duke it out, Camaleón and Bribón trying to get the best of Espiritu Negro, Cadeto Azul running away from a Hijos del Infierno double team and in the center of the ring Mariachi has Arma Mortal bend over his knee, happily spanking away as the crowd counts along UNO!! DOS!! TRES!! COLE Nice to hear the crowd being bilingual QUATRO!! CINCO!! COACH Yeah they're bi-something alright SEIS!! SIETE!! Before Mariachi can hit blow numero nueve Los Conquistadors attack him, rekindling their history from years ago, or perhaps they just saw an easy mark. El Juez gets whipped into the corner by Tigre Azteca who then runs at the ruthless judge. While Tigre is fast and Tigre is talented, but he's also light and airborne as El Juez ducks down and backdrops Tigre Azteca over the top rope AND the ring post to the floor. THUD!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 11 Wrestler: Tigre Azteca Eliminated By: El Juez Eliminated: Arlequin Verde Remaining in the match: 13Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 Suddenly Espiritu Negro steps through the ropes and leaps off the apron to leave the ring, only to be followed by both Camaleón and Bribón diving THROUGH the ropes onto their opponent. CARDINAL THROUGH THE ROPES!! THROUGH THE ROPES!! They're still in the match. COACH Yeah, yeah we know *rolls eyes* While both the little and the large Chameleon fights Espiritu Negro on the floor "It" has gotten his hands on Dos once again, crawling up on his back as he wraps both arms and legs around Dos' waist line. Moments later Cadeto Azul and Rosa land a double drop kick on Dos, knocking both him and "It" over the top rope to the floor. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 12 Wrestler: Conquistador Dos Eliminated By: Cadeto Azul and Cadeto Rosa Eliminated: Slime Remaining in the match: 12Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 The elimination is almost immediately overshadowed by Aviador Divina throwing Hijo del Infierno I over the top rope but not to the floor. Instead Hijo I lands on the apron, sends Aviador Divina back into the middle of the ring with a knee and then spring boards off the top rope, taking Divina down with a diving Huracanrana. CARDINAL Yeah a pinfall is not going to work in a battle royal COACH Really? Do we really need this guy around to tell us the obvious? Next he'll tell us that Krista likes titties and that we have more moody girls here than a midnight showing of Twilight. On one side of the ring Camaleón and Bribón are busy ramming Espiritu Negro against the guard rails while on the other side of the ring "It" still has his snake like "death grip" on Dos, preventing him from get his hands on the doll around his neck. Uno is torn between trying to help his tag team partner and staying in the battle royal. Moments later El Juez takes the decision out of Uno's hand as he grabs the black and gold Voodoo Warrior by the tights and back of the head and launches him over the top, straight into Dos and "It" on the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 13 Wrestler: Conquistador Uno Eliminated By: El Juez Eliminated: Snot Remaining in the match: 11Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 COLE I can’t wait to hear them claim that this is a victory for them COACH Hey they qualified for the tournament, did you think they would? CARDINAL Not for a million years! COACH Exactly, yet here they are, outlasted a lot of guys and qualified - WINNING!! The cameras pan back to the ring where Mariachi and Cadeto Rosa lands a double drop kick on Arma Mortale, sending him into the ropes with so much force that his arms get trapped in the top and middle ropes. Mariachi smiles as Cadetos Azul and Rosa lift Arma Mortal up by the legs and spread them, leaving him extremely vulnerable. For some reason none of Ola Mexicana seems to even attempt to save the rudo as Mariachi lands a drop kick to Arma Mortal's exposed nether regions. COACH Forget being heterosexual or homosexual I think they just made him asexual! CARDINAL Bah! if he had any balls to begin with he wouldn't be using weapons and jumping people from behind. COLE I'm not sure that justifies kicking the guy in the testicles! CARDINAL Actually I believe that if you consult the wrestling rulebook it does. COLE *Flips through the pages* Well dang it you're right it does. El Juez has been chasing Camaleón around the floor for several minutes, unable to catch him. Then in a flash of brilliance he uses the still dazed Conquistador Uno as a weapon, tossing him at Camaleón's legs to trip him up. Back in the ring Aviador Divina is one again on the ropes, both Hijos del Infiernos trying desperately to get rid of him. COLE Here comes Cadeto Azul to the rescue COACH That kid needs to mid his own business!! While Azul manages to prevent Aviador Divina's elimination he himself is not nearly as lucky as both Hijos kick him in the gut and then double hip tosses him straight over the top to the floor COACH Told ya! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 14 Wrestler: Cadeto Azul Eliminated By: Hijo del Infierno I and Hijo del Infierno II Eliminated: Dos Remaining in the match: 10Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 After remaining at ringside for several minutes after being eliminated Los Conquistadors are finally forced to leave the ringside with "It" lumbering after them, once again totally under the Voodoo Warriors control. COLE That is disgus... ALL HAIL LOS CONQUISTADORS!! CARDINAL Man I thought you had better taste than that Moments later Los Conquistadors are all but forgotten and their mind control over Cole has been released, instead the attention is on Mariachi as he angrily tears at Arma Mortal's mask, taking advantage of the fact that his opponent is still caught in the ropes. COLE That's uncharacteristic from Mariachi; he's more of a lover than a brawler CARDINAL Even the nicest guy in the word has a breaking point COACH I'm not sure Tim does, but apparently Mariachi is not nearly as nice COLE I always considered him more naught than nice. Mariachi keeps showing his more naughty side as he intentionally rips Arma Mortal's mask apart, well aware of the fact that there is no disqua--- DING!!! DING!! DING!! COLE What? RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. Mariachi has been disqualified for intentionally unmasking his opponent!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 15 Wrestler: Mariachi Eliminated By: Self inflicted disqualification Eliminated: No one Remaining in the match: 9Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 COLE WHAT? There are no disqualifications in battle royals!! COACH Hey those masks are like sacred or whatever, I'm totally glad he was disqualified, that was heinous. COLE So you're pro mask now? COACH I am for you! Ba-dum-tish!! Not one to leave a job unfinished Mariachi completely tears off the police cap attached to Arma Mortal's mask before stepping through the ropes, smiling because at least he got a small measure of revenge. CARDINAL WOOOOOO BABY!! Strike a blow for equal rights! Mariachi passes by Bribón who is being chased by El Juez on the outside of the ring. The Mini-Estrella outruns his much larger opponent, leaps up on the apron and then slides into the ring between Espiritu Negro's legs. When Negro reaches for Bribón he is cut off by Aviador Divina who throws Negro into the corner. With just seven people in the ring and two on the floor Aviador Divina finally has enough room to whip his opponent across the ring, then launch at him with a leaping splash YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! He quickly spins around, wrapping his arm around Espiritu Negro's head for the Rube Goldberg bulldog, but once he leaps forward Espiritu Negro holds on to the ropes to break the hold and then manages to backdrop Aviador Divina over the top rope to the apron COACH He's outta- COLE NO!! He managed to hang on. Divina proves to be as nimble as a cat as he lands on his feet on the apron, only to be hit in the chest by a drop kick from Espiritu Negro COACH He's outta- COLE NO!! Divina grabbed the ring post at the last moment and manages to spin around and land on the other side. He tries to leap up and head scissor Espiritu Negro only to have both feet pushed off hard COACH He's outta- COLE NO!! COACH Damn it!! Aviador is still hanging on by his hands, hoping to skin the cat up and over. Once he's half way over the top rope Espiritu Negro launches into a drop kick that drills Divina in the midsection CARDINAL He's outta there! COACH Hey that's my line!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 16 Wrestler: Aviador Divina Eliminated By: Espiritu Negro Eliminated: Remaining in the match: 8Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 COLE He was not going down without a fight COACH But he went down! and that's what matters. Once he is back inside the ring Bribón is the prime target of both Infierno brothers, ducking out of the way as they try to jump him. Working together the two brothers finally manage to catch the Mini-Estrella. Bribón twist around and tries to take Hijo II down with a head scissors, only to have it turned on him as Hijo II throws him off. Bribón uses the momentum to launch into one of his trademark spins behind Hijo II's back and into a head scissors again. CARDINAL Here comes the satellite head scissors COACH HELL NO!! With a little help from his brother Hijo II manages to use Bribón's momentum to toss him over the top rope... RIGHT INTO CAMALEÓN'S ARMS!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Camaleón knows that if he drops his mascota Bribón will be eliminated and makes sure to deposit Bribón on the apron. While he has been busy with Bribón Camaleón neglected to pay attention to El Juez who is still on the hunt. The callous Judge strikes Camaleón in the back with a high knee lift, sending his opponent head first into the ring post with a sickening thud BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Then he grabs Bribón by the throat, signaling for a choke slam off the apron to the floor. When he goes to lift Bribón off the slippery luchador wiggles out of the grip, lands back on the apron and then tries to take El Juez down with a head scissors. COACH DENIED!! El Juez stands his ground, stopping Bribón dead in his tracks by holding on to the bottom rope. Then moments later El Juez launches Bribón clear across the ringside mat, sending him crashing on the timekeeper’s table COLE He's still safe! Holy shit I thought he was getting tossed to the floor. Bribón hardly has a chance to react before El Juez knocks him off the table to the ground with a stiff Yakuza kick! COACH About damn time! He's been cheating the whole time. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 17 Wrestler: Bribón Eliminated By: El Juez Eliminated: Remaining in the match: 7Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 COLE How exactly has he been cheating Coach? COACH He was on the floor for half the match, that's cheating! CARDINAL So has El Juez, in fact he only just now entered the ring after 10 minutes on the floor COACH Yeah but... well he was not hiding! El Camaleón is the last man to re-enter the ring, putting the final seven, the Sweet Seven, in the ring at the same time. The fighting slows down for a moment as all members of La Ola Mexicana along with Arma Mortal gather in one corner, obviously hashing out a game plan. Meanwhile El Camaleón and Cadeto Rosa, the only remaining tecnicos, give each other a high five and then get ready for whatever their opponents may have in store for them. COLE Five on two, not great odds COACH I think they're fabulous odds, for Ola Mexicana that is. Apparently Arma Mortal is not happy with the plan and instead launches an attack on Cadeto Rosa, only for the pink Space Cadet to drop to the ground while pulling the top rope down sending Arma Mortal tumbling over the ropes, slamming his hip on the apron before tumbling to the floor in a heap. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 18 Wrestler: La Arma Mortal Eliminated By: Cadeto Rosa Eliminated: Guerrero Dorada Remaining in the match: 6Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 Ola Mexicana does not seem too bothered by Mortal's elimination; in fact they nod in approval. Then they spilt up with both Los Hijos and Espiritu Negro trying to trap Cadeto Rosa in the corner and El Juez targeting El Camaleón by himself. COACH This is going to be sweet! They will throw that pink turd out of there, then they have free range on Camaleón, four on one, no one to save him CARDINAL What is that American expression about counting the chickens before they've been had? COLE I hope you meant hatched COACH I bet that pervert knows exactly what he's saying (to himself) chicken plucker Camaleón decides to take fate into his own hand and attacks El Juez, only to be surprised with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a cross-knee back stretch submission hold. In the corner Rosa valiantly tries to fight back, punching Hijo II in the jaw only to be thrown against the turnbuckles by Espiritu Negro. The Infierno brothers grab Cadeto Rosa and lift him up into a double Gory Special, stretching the kid to the breaking point as they both lean forward, then Espiritu Negro climbs up and kneels on Cadeto Rosa's chest BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COACH Yes, yes we know full well you cannot lose a battle royal by submission *sigh* friggin' know it all. CARDINAL Actually I was going to say that this is sound strategy, they can hurt their opponents and no one is stopping them. Camaleón lets his entire body go limp, working with the pressure instead of against it as it allows him to slide off EL Juez's knee to freedom. He quickly turns and tries to come to Cadeto Rosa's aid but El Juez grabs him by the boot before he can reach the others. Intent on inflicting more harm to El Camaleón the Judge sets him up for a figure four, starting with a spinning toe hold. Fortunately for both Camaleón and Cadeto Rosa the lizard luchador is quick witted enough to place his free foot on El Juez' ass, kicking forward with enough force to send El Juez into the others. The momentum knocks both Espiritu Negro and Hijo I to the ground while Hijo del Infierno II flips over the top rope and comes crashing down on the apron. COACH Oh no, no, no!! Bad place for him Point proven only seconds later as the still hurting Cadeto Rosa lands a sliding drop kick that knocks Hijo del Infierno II off the apron. 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 19 Wrestler: Hijo del Infierno II Eliminated By: Cadeto Rosa Eliminated: "It" the Alien, Cadeto Azul Remaining in the match: 5Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 COACH Don't worry there are still three Ola Mexicana members in there, it was just the first one eliminated. While trying his best to ignore the elimination El Juez grabs Camaleón and puts him in a power bomb position. He swiftly lifts his opponent up in the air only to be... DENIED!! Camaleón counters the power bomb with a face bomb, taking the Judge to the canvas with force. Meanwhile Espiritu Negro picks up Cadeto Rosa and drops the helpless space cadet throat first on the top rope. Moments later Negro holds his thumb up in the air, signaling for the Ice Pick much to the distaste of the crowd. Camaleón tries to stop Espiritu Negro from jamming his thumb into Cadeto Rosa's eye but is cut off by Hijo del Infierno I who elbows Camaleón to the ground. COLE That's not allowed, he is blatantly jamming his finger in Cadeto Rosa's eye! COACH That's a blatantly legal hold in a battle royal! You conveniently forget the rules when it suits you.! The odds are suddenly evened when Camaleón defensively puts up his feet and then manages to monkey flip Hijo del Infierno I over the top rope to the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 20 Wrestler: Hijo del Infierno I Eliminated By: El Camaleón Eliminated: "It" the Alien, Cadeto Azul Remaining in the match: 4Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 COLE Hold on that means that the brothers are on different teams! I bet they're not pleased about that. COACH You think? The lizard luchador does not even get a moment to think before El Juez attacks him, dropping a massive elbow to Camaleón's sternum. With his finger still jammed in Cadeto Rosa's eye Espiritu Negro begins to drag his opponent over to the ropes, easily lifting the exhausted and suffering Rosa up over the top rope. Once he's over the top though Rosa instinctively wraps both his arms and legs around the top rope, hanging on for dear life. An angry Espiritu Negro swiftly runs across the ring, then on the rebound he leaps into the air, gaining extra momentum as he strikes both Cadeto Rosa and the ring ropes with enough force to propel Cadeto Rosa right into the guardrail at ringside CRASH!!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 21 Wrestler: Cadeto Rosa Eliminated By: Eliminated: Dos, Arma Mortal, Hijo del Infierno II Remaining in the match: 3Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 CARDINAL This is it; we're down to three men in the ring. Can you feel it Cole? Can you feel the excitement? COLE I think everyone in the arena are on their feet. COACH Except me, this will be over quickly. The crowd comes unhinged as El Camaleón is face to face with El Juez and Espiritu Negro, two of his most tenacious tormentors through out the match. Defiantly he motions for both of them to "come on", not one to back down from a fight. When Espiritu Negro launches into an attack Camaleón rewards him with a stinging left jab to the jaw. Moments later El Juez strikes El Camaleón with a boot to the face. El Juez quickly picks up Camaleón and lifts him up in an Electric Chair position while Espiritu Negro climbs the ropes. COLE You know if this were any other point in the match I'd say going to the top rope is stupid, but who is going to knock him off? COACH No one! Espiritu leaps off the top rope and knocks Camaleón to the ground with a stiff dropkick to the sternum, flipping the lizard luchador 450 degrees in the air before crashing down on his neck. Not content with the punishment Espiritu climbs the ropes again while El Juez drags Camaleón over on his back, throat exposed for Espiritu Negro's finishing move CARDINAL This cannot end well, I think he's done for! Camaleón manages to dig up the last bit of energy he has from somewhere and rolls out of the way at the last moment. Fortunately for Espiritu Negro he is able to adjust his leap mid air and lands on his feet instead, then drops a knee on Camaleón's back. El Juez gives Espiritu the sign to lift Camaleón up, and what the judge wants, the judge gets as Espiritu Negro lifts El Camaleón up on his shoulders. COLE This is obscene! They have a free reign on Camaleón; they can toy with him for hours if they want to. The moment El Juez is on the top rope Camaleón starts to squirm and wiggle, forcing Espiritu Negro so much off balance that Camaleón falls forward RIGHT ONTO THE TOP ROPE!! The rope shaking causes El Juez to fall off the top rope, landing with one leg on either side of the turnbuckle. With one last exertion of willpower Camaleón pushes El Juez off the top, giving him no other option but to simply tip over and crash to the floor. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 22 Wrestler: El Juez Eliminated By: El Camaleón Eliminated: Cadeto Amarillo, Tigre Azteca, Uno, Bribón Remaining in the match: 2Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CARDINAL Holy shit it's one on one! COLE But Camaleón has taken a LOT of punishment, a whole lot of punishment. COACH Nothing compared to the punishment he is about to receive. Unlike El Camaleón Espiritu Negro does not look like he has suffered as much, in face he seems to be quite excited with the prospects of facing Camaleón as he hops from foot to foot while swinging his arms and getting a kink out of his neck. CARDINAL The other Ola Mexicana members may be gone, but their teamwork helped spare Espiritu Negro the punishment that El Camaleón has gone through. He circles his opponent while Camaleón tries to keep face to face, turning and twisting to ensure that Espiritu Negro is not able to get the upper hand on him. At one point Espiritu Negro looks like he is going for a collar and elbow lock up, but changes his mind at the last moment, backing off. Moments later when Espiritu seemingly tries for the same hold once more it turns out to be a ruse, driving his fingers straight into Camaleón's throat instead, followed by a couple of blows to the chest. CARDINAL He is so dangerous! Hitting all the nerve endings COACH He is making sadism an art form and I love it. After trapping Camaleón's arm in an arm bar Espiritu Negro strikes like a snake and locks his fingers around Camaleón's throat, not choking him but instead focusing on pressure points on the side of the neck. The pressure is kept up as Camaleón drops to his knees, then slumps forward in what appears to be an unconscious state. COLE They need to stop this! Stop this right now, just declare Espiritu Negro the winner and save Camaleón more suffering CARDINAL Never! Camaleón has too much pride for that; he will fight to the bitter end. COACH Well Espiritu Negro will make sure it's very bitter for Camaleón. The rudo finally releases his neck vice, allowing Camaleón to flop to the ground like the catch of the day. The boos hail down over Espiritu Negro as he motions that he is about to throw El Camaleón over the top rope. Moments later it appears that Espiritu Negro may have outwitted himself, as Camaleón appears to be completely limp, just flopping out of Espiritu Negro's grip when he tries to lift him up in the air. COACH He is OTLAD! CARDINAL He's what? COACH Out To Lunch And Dinner!! The last remaining Ola Mexicana members grabs Camaleón by the boot and then unceremoniously drags him over to the ropes where the Lizard Luchador is propped up against the ropes, seemingly still out. With some effort Espiritu Negro finally lifts his opponent up on his shoulders in a fireman's carry hold. Then he staggers across the floor, hoping to get some momentum to help him eliminate El Camaleón. COACH This is it!! COLE Sweet merciful god! Even with his opponent up on his shoulders Espiritu Negro is not easily able to throw him over the top rope, but with some effort he does manage to push him half way over, legs dangling over the top rope as Espiritu tries to usher his opponent off his shoulders and onto the apron. Then out of nowhere Camaleón's legs firm as his feet touch the canvas, his arm tightens around Espiritu Negro's head and the revived Camaleón quickly pulls Espiritu Negro over the top rope as well, sending both of them to the floor with a thud. THUD!! COACH What?? What happened? The camera comes around the corner and looks at the two men on the floor, Espiritu Negro is flat on his face while El Camaleón is on his back, both legs still propped up against the ring. COLE Hold on that means... CARDINAL OH HELL YES!!! RICARDO MONTALBAN, JR. The winner of the match... and captain of team 2... (He has to pause as he can hardly believe it himself) EEEEEEEL CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEÓN!! 0==========================0 Eliminacion Numero 23 Wrestler: Espiritu Negro Eliminated By: El Camaleón Eliminated: "It" the Alien, Aviador Divina Remaining in the match: 1Captain - Leyenda de la Máscara Team 1 0==========================0 [b[Ganador: El Camaleón Eliminated: Hijo del Infierno I, El Juez, Espiritu NegroCaptain - Leyenda de la Máscara Team 2 0==========================0 CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! CAM!! The referee helps El Camaleón to his feet then informs him that he actually won the match, news that seems to surprise him. He rolls into the ring, then pulls himself to his feet and asks for the microphone. EL CAMALEÓN (Breathing heavily) Let this be a lesson Dr. Lucha... you can say you're great all you want... but you have to prove it in ring before it matters. After delivering his message to Dr. Lucha, Jr. who is no doubt watching backstage, red with anger, he drops the microphone and rolls out of the ring.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 TAPED EARLIER TODAY AT GATTEN SUSHI CMJ and Theodore Moneymaker sit at the counter of a luxury sushi bar with CMJ scarfing down a bowl of beef ramen. CMJ I can eat let me tell you, Teddy! If ya challenged me to a ramen eating contest, you'd not only lose the challenge, you might lose yer friggin life. MONEYMAKER Sounds like its your competitive mind as opposed to your hungry stomach that's talking. You like to win do you, Colin, my boy? CMJ Do I like to win? I fhakin love ta win! I thrive on winning! MONEYMAKER Good. Very good. It strengthens my heart to hear that. Its good news to an aching soul. But I fear that its not good enough news, because I see the end is at hand. CMJ The end of what? MONEYMAKER The end of The Enterprise. CMJ You serious? MONEYMAKER Have you ever known me not to be serious. I see a criminal approaching, ready to take our pride and glory, eager to destory what I have worked so hard to construct in my own image. CMJ D*LUX? MONEYMAKER Spencer. CMJ Spencha? For real? MONEYMAKER Yes. For real. Do not misunderstand me, Spencer is a good boy, and he doesn't do this maliciously. But Spencer is more concerned with kindness than winning. I don't believe in kindness, Colin. It makes my body ache. Psyhcially I find myself suffering from being nice, as do you, I'm sure. And Spencer, when we first met him, was the same. But now after falling in love with Jade, he's changed. For the worse. Now, he believes in doing things the fair and honest way. He wants to be nice to D*LUX and give them a fair shot at the tag titles. That's just damn foolish, I say! His need to be a nice guy is going to rob you of your tag titles and The Enterprise of our glory. CMJ Hell naw! MONYEMAKER Hell yes! Unless you stop him. You have to do the right thing. You have to take the low road at Anglemania whenever possible. Retain those tag titles, keep the pride of The Enterprise alive. CMJ You can count on me, Teddy. Teddy laughs his trademark laugh as we return to live action. The sound of "Medal" feeds into the arena, but certainly not into the hearts of the OAOAST fanbase, as they welcome Anglesault not with adoration, but disgust. The founder of the company walks out onto the stage and takes a moment, as if he's trying to look into each individual fans eyes before he walks down to the ring. COLE We are just three days away from the biggest event in OAOAST history, and what will go down as the most important match in OAOAST history. No matter who wins the Survive Or Surrender match at Anglemania Ten, come Monday morning the OAOAST will be without one of the two most influential people in its existence. COACH Correction, Mikey Cole. Come Monday morning, YOUR boy is gonna be out on his ass, HIS boys are gonna be out of power and out on THEIR asses, and even YOU might not be around for the next HeldDOWN~! Enjoy these last few moments, Mikey Cole. Sofa Central might just be Coach Central come next Thursday! As expected, Anglesault takes the microphone, but hesitates to address the crowd, as they are loud and wild here tonight, letting him know exactly how they feel. "ASS-HOLE!" "ASS-HOLE!" "ASS-HOLE!" Remaining stoic and rather calm, Anglesault waits a few more moments, and then does what he intended to do when he came out here. ANGLESAULT The clock on the wall is ticking, people. Three days from now, we will have reached a milestone. Anglemania Ten will be upon us! As the founder, and leader of the OAOAST, I would like to invite each and everyone of you to join us, whether it's live in person, or at home on pay per view, because I do not want any of you to miss the event. More importantly, I don't want anyone to miss what will go down as the greatest night of my career, of my life, and in OAOAST history. This Sunday night, please join me for Zack Malibu's last night in the wrestling business! The crowd boos loudly, though Anglesault is now smiling. ANGLESAULT Boo if you want, but you know it's coming! Finally, after all these years, Zack's foolish pride has caught up with him. He's backed himself into a corner now! He thought he had finally done it, putting my back to the wall, but no. Last week, Malibu proved what I've been saying all along...that HE is his own worst enemy, not me! Zack didn't HAVE to take on Sandman last week, but he did, and you know what? He got the victory, but now he's walking into the match that he wanted, that he craved for so long...the biggest match of his career, and he's walking into it a broken man! He's not one hundred percent now! He's walking into that cage vulnerable, and it's going to make my night so much more enjoyable. Because I'm not about to go easy on you, Zack. If you think you've hurt before, you know nothing. Because the pain I put you through on Sunday will make you regret you've ever, EVER, gotten into this business. After Anglemania, your girlfriend will have you home where she wants you. Your daughter can FINALLY get to know her father better, rather than watch him sleep or rush out the door to catch a flight. You can live a normal life, because the life you live right now will be OVER! DONE! No more wrestling, Zack! No more matches, no more appearances, you can't even be a copy boy inside the corporate office! I am sending you home, I am taking you out of these people's lives, and finally...FINALLY, Zack...I'm getting you out of my life! I'm pulling the thorn from my side. History will be made on Sunday night, and the last recorded footnote that you ever have will say "April 3rd, 2011, at Anglemania 10, Anglesault defeated Zack Malibu to regain control of the company THAT WAS STOLEN FROM HIM!" Because that's what you did, Zack! You STOLE THIS COMPANY...MY COMPANY...FROM ME! You stole it, and I want it back. I NEED it back, and I will have it back. I urge you, Zack...I DEMAND you to bring your best on Sunday. I want every ounce of energy you can muster. I want the adrenaline to surge through your veins. I want the hero. I WANT THE FRANCHISE, Zack. I don't care if you're hurt. I don't care if your bones ache, or if the cuts haven't healed. I don't care what happened to you last week...I WANT YOUR BEST! I WANT THE RAGE, Zack! We have a history, Zack. We found a common ground at one point, a mutual understanding. At one point, there was RESPECT, Zack. Your favorite word. Your "buzzword", your "catchphrase". Zack Malibu is all about respect except when it comes to himself, because he has NONE for anybody else! Sunday night, you don't need to bring respect, Zack. You're already well-prepared in that sense. Because this is WAR. This is life and death. My life, my company, is finally put back in its rightful place, and the world...THE WORLD, Zack, will bear witness to the fall of a false idol. So I urge you all, once again, to join me on Sunday night in sending Zack Malibu home FOREVER! Anglesault's speech ends, and the crowd is more vocal than ever, booing him loudly. Fortuantely for the fans, their bad moods change the second "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and ZACK MALIBU walks onto the ramp! COLE An overwhelming response welcomes The Franchise to HelDOWN~!, hopefully not for the last time as some people are hoping for! Malibu, holding a mic of his own, smirks as he circles ringside and walks up the steps. As his music fades out, Malibu comes face to face with his most bitter rival, and the camera zooms in on the two men set to main event the biggest match in company history. MALIBU You want my best? You don't need to ask, Anglesault. You can expect it! This company...this company has ALWAYS had my best. No matter what side of the fence I was on, good or bad, it ALWAYS had my best. We can go back and forth on this all night, and we've been doing it for years now. You have your opinions, and I have mine, but the fact...the FACT is that YOU gave up on this company and walked away, and left the locker room to pick up the pieces! You were the one who had other opportunities, the guy who stopped working and was content sitting at home, collecting off the blood, sweat and tears of countless people who have come through that curtain. The only reason you hate me so much is because I did what YOU couldn't do. I EARNED their respect. Everyone from the fans, to the locker room, to the copy boys...they respect me because of WHAT I DID, not just who I am! You've spent the last ten years trying to get by on your name. You want everyone to kiss your ass because you're the almighty Anglesault, the namesake of the OAOAST! I've got news for you, 'Sault...that name value means NOTHING around here, because you haven't done anything with it! You're just a guy in a suit that's gone power-mad, and you managed to find a flock of sheep to follow your lead not because they're loyal to you, but because they're loyal to your wallet! They don't respect your name or who you are...the only thing they want is your name on the check. Meanwhile, while you were out surrounding yourself with lackeys, whether it was the aWo or your little regime now, I was out there going through everyone...EVERYONE...in that locker room to make my way to the top. Men, women, worst enemies, and best friends. I've had my head sent through car windows. I've had a woman I once cared for run out of my life by someone simply trying to psych me out before a title match. I've had friendships torn apart, people that were once by my side every week walk away and turn their backs like it was nothing. I had a friend, one of my best friends PASS AWAY because of how badly this business got to him. So when you talk about paying dues, and what I've earned, I have earned every god damn ounce of respect from these people! I have been through HELL, my family has been through hell, and so much of that hell has already been because of you. Come Sunday night, the way I see it, you either get your receipt for all that you've done, or I die trying. ANGLESAULT Such appropriate words, Zack. Because you can try, and you certainly will die. Your career is going to DIE. The respect these people have for you is going to DIE. Because you're going to be invisible to them, Zack. You're going to be out of the business, and you know, deep down, that once that ends, it all ends. The final chapter has been written, and now it's just a matter of closing the book. Out of sight, out of mind, Zack. Once I finish you, they'll forget you. They'll ALL forget you. The fans, your friends...you won't have a leg to stand on anymore. You won't be on top of the world anymore...I WILL. The difference between you and I is that I don't NEED their respect. You do. So Sunday night, when I beat you...and I WILL beat you...I'll be ripping your heart out. I'll be taking away everything you covet. You can go home and be with your girl and your daughter. Maybe have the wedding this business has prevented you from having. Settle down and live a life of normalcy and boredom, and if you're not too busy, make sure to tune into HeldDOWN~! every Thursday to see that, despite what you think, how much better off MY company is without you. Another staredown ensues, and Malibu just laughs off Anglesaults insults. MALIBU This could go on, and on, and on. We could stand here all night, pointing fingers and playing the blame game. We've both got our opinions, so at least until Sunday, I'm going to agree to disagree with you. Anglesault nods, mouthing "you should" to his rival. MALIBU With that said, if you're right. If this is truly it, and this is the last time these people see me on HeldDOWN~!, then I'm going to give them one last Malibu Moment. Zack drops the mic, and NAILS Anglesault with a right hand! Anglesault is stunned, but Zack backs him into the corner and starts rocking him with punches, as the crowd goes apeshit! COLE THEY'RE NOT GONNA WAIT! LOOK AT THEM GO! Anglesault stops the barrage, kneeing Zack in the gut and pulling his shirt over his head, hockey fight style! 'Sault pounds on Zack's back, then sets up for an ANGLE SLAM~!...but Zack lands on his feet...and before anything else can happen, nearly every staff member on hand tonight rushes the ring and seperates the two superstars! "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" Anglesault and Zack point and shout at each other, held back by more members of the OAOAST staff than we normally know what to do with! The crowd continues to cause a ruckus, while Zack and Anglesault try to get at each other! COLE For one last time, the two most important men in company history share a ring together on HeldDOWN~!, and come Sunday they will share a ring for the last time together EVER. It's Survive or Surrender this Sunday, and it's Winner Takes All! Zack Malibu versus Anglesault will headline the biggest Anglemania in history, and we will see you there! For DA COACH~!, I'm Michael Cole, saying we'll see you at Anglemania Ten! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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