OAOAST Syndicated 3/23

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST Syndicated!

With



SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

AND



HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

***The Christ Air Express and Melody Nerdly Vs The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Sophie W/Queen Esther***

The girls started the contest out with a bit of chain wrestling. Or at least Sophie tried to chain wrestler, Melody tried to throw hadoukens and sonic booms. When those never materialized, Melody went on the attack with divesting palm strikes that backed Sophie into her corner. This led Lucuis Soul to tag into the contest. The Soul Brother handed Melody a pamphlet on his pimping services and the revenue sharing options offered. While Melody liked the free x-box game for every three tricks turned, MARV took offense to this and attacked Soul. The two exchanged strikes and high flying attacks. Neither man gained the upperhand, and MEL was tagged into the break the stalemate. MEL found the same tough to one up foe as his brother. But using teamwork they combined to give Soul the run around. However, once Rico got into the ring things quickly turned sour for the skaters and their sisters. Rico threw his weight around, using his power to ground and slow the faster twins. After punishing MARV for several minutes, Rico went for broke with a Mustache Ride! But MARV sipped out the hold and managed to tag in his brother MEL. From there it was a wild race to the finish with the girls getting involved in a little cat fight action. Melody smothered Sophie with her big beautiful breasts, while MARV took out Lucius. This left MEL to hit a shooting star press on Rico for a victory.

Winner: The Christ Air Express and Melody Nerdly, via pinfall

In a moment or seriousness Alix and Maya talk to J-MAX about the incident with Los Manacios the previous week. The Birmingham Bad Boy admitted that he was not as experienced a wrestler as Los Maniacos, but that he felt that he had earned the people's respect through his in ring work. When asked if Los Maniacos did not deserve respect J-MAX commented that he lost what little respect he had for those guys when they attacked him over a locker. In closing he hoped to teach both Maniacos that just because you're older it doesn't necessarily mean you should be respected, age is not an accomplishment in itself.

** Los Hijos del Infierno vs the Masked Mutants **
The sons of Infierno came out hitting hard, intent on proving that their teamwork is superior to every other team in OAOAST. They were at least initially successful in doing that, but did not realize just how much punishment you can take when you are as out of your mind as both Slime and Snot clearly are. At one point the Masked Mutants had the younger brother isolated in the ring as Hijo del Infierno I was on the floor clutching his leg in pain. Just as it looked like the Masked Mutants were about to get a big victory Hijo I enters the ring, takes both men down with a low blow. Moments later Hijo I lifts Slime up in the air while Hijo II comes off the top rope with a drop kick to the face, making the three count almost academic.

Winners: Los Hijos del Infierno

After the match Dr. Lucha, Jr. got in the ring and started talking about Leyenda de la Máscara and how Ola Mexicana's superior teamwork would win the day, just like it had moments ago. Only moments after he began bragging El Camaleón showed up, with most of the tecnico participants in the qualifying battle royal in tow. When the tecnicos was jumped by the rudo contingency from the battle royal a wild brawl broke out in the aisle that lasted for several minutes until building security could seperate the various factions, giving the fans a taste of the action to come in the qualifying Battle Royal next week.

Alix and Maya put on their serious about wrestling glasses to talk with OAOAST President Alfdogg. The Prez stated that it was the belief of the board that the United States Title and The Heartland Title detracted from one another. They felt that the company would be best served by having one prestigious belt for up and coming wrestlers and those hungry for a career break through to chase. As such Alfdogg was pleased to announce a title unification match at Anglemania X. But this wouldn't be a regular match. It would be a ladder match pitting six top OAOAST stars against each other. Participants were announced as:

1.Todd Cortez (Heartland Champion)
2.Theodore Moneymaker (US Champion)
3.ThunderKid
4.Tim Cash
5.Christian Wright
6.Biffman

After the listing was shown an angry Abdullah Abir Nerdly and The Heavenly Rockers stormed the stage. They wished to know why exactly Quiz was excluded but Biffman was included. Alfdogg said that Biffman had earned his place in the match whereas Quiz had not. Abdullah complained that Quiz had never been given the chance to earn his place in the contest. Alfdogg had the remedy for that problem. He stated that if Quiz could last ten minutes with Todd Cortez in the ring then Quiz would be able to be a part of the ladder match.

Maggie Nerdly's patience was tried once again this week as she basically just held the microphone while Arma Mortal ranted and raved in Spanglish over the laid back attitude towards crossedresses and pre-op transsexuals in the United States. His commentes managed to insult basically any alternative lifestyle imaginable in one fell swoop while only tangentically even mentioning Mariachi, the only saving grace was that his English was so mangled that few people actually understood him and thus OAOAST was not deluged with a ton of complaints. Once Mortal left Maggie Nerdly commented that Mortal should look into a voice over.

***Todd Cortez Vs Quiz W/Abdullah Abir Nerdly***

Quiz ran right through Cortez with a lariat to start the contest. From Quiz mercilessly pummeled Cortez, trying his hardest to end the contest as quickly as possible. Cortez would fight back though and a brawl inside the ring ensued. The big Canadian managed to rock his foe with powerful punch that allowed him to lariat Cortez over the ropes. Quiz followed Cortez outside and proceeded to pummel him with hard fists. But, Cortez fought back and the brawl became more even as we went to commercial break.

Returning from break we found Cortez beating on Quiz inside the ring. Cortez pressed his luck and attempted to suplex the big man. However, Quiz succeeded in shoving away Cortez. Problematically Cortez hit the referee, knocking him out. The two combatants were unfazed by this and continued to pound on each other with heavy punches. After weakening Cortez with a pair of left crosses, Quiz tried for the Pop Quiz (pump handle slam). But Cortez slipped out the hold and low blowed the big man. This allowed Cortez to nail the Riot Act Plus! But with no referee to count, Cortez was unable to get the winning pinfall. As such the Urban Legend was required to rouse the referee. This took several moments and by the time the referee was roused, Quiz was back to his feet. He captured Cortez inside a set up for the Pop Quiz, but Cortez again found his way out. Once again Cortez hit the Riot Act Plus. He hooked the legs for the pinfall but the clock expired for the ten minutes!

NO WINNER

Abdullah celebrated as Quiz had advanced to the title unification ladder match at Anglemania.