OAOAST Syndicated 3/2

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST Syndicated!

With



SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

AND



HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

*** Deuce Deuce Bigelow Vs Outhouse Jack***

In a one sided affair, the Flaming Gigolo made short work of the man from the Everglades, finishing him off with the flying top rope head BUTT he calls Funky Cold Medina. Prior to the bout it was revealed Jumbo had suffered retinal damage following the incident at the Heartland Spectacular where Mr. Dick squirted him in the face with lube. An insert promo from Mr. Dick followed in which he placed all responsibility in the lap of Deuce, saying "If that tattooed freak hadn't stuck his nose in my business Jumbo's fat ass wouldn't be glued to some hospital bed."

Winner: Deuce Deuce Bigelow, via pinfall

After the match, Deuce challenged Mr. Dick to a match anytime, anywhere.

Maggie Nerdly caught up with Masked Mutant Slime for an interview. Problematically, Slime spoke entirely in gibberish. Maggie attempted to coax him into speaking English, but Slime refused to follow directions. Frustrated, but needing to get the interview Maggie tried to teach Slime English. This had little success as Slime continued to rant in gibberish. Overhearing the interview was It. The extra terrestrial cut in front of Maggie, and nodded enthusiastically to Slime's ramblings. When Slime was finished, It spoke his own strange alien language. Slime seemed to understand what It was saying and spoke back. What followed was a conversation between two of the oddest characters in the OAOAST. Poor Maggie merely threw her hands up in despair and walked away while the two gibberish speakers continued to converse.

***Slime Vs ThunderKid W/Melissa Nerdly***

ThunderKid got the early upperhand in the contest, using his power advantage to toss Slime about the ring. However, Slime was a game opponent and came back with quick aerial attacks to stun ThunderKid. However, Slime would be ground to a halt by ThunderKid who began to target Slime's neck. Several neckbreakers would put Slime on the verge of defeat. Yet, Slime managed to fight through the pain, to provide quite the challenge to TK. However he was defeated by a Thunderbolt DDT.

Winner: ThunderKid, via pinfall

In a OAOAST After Party exclusive, Theodore Moneymaker cut a scathing promo on Reject blaming him for the Enterprise's Anderson Cup Final loss because he was forced to go into said match less than 100% after being Eulogized earlier in the night. Moneymaker concluded his promo with a challenge for this week on HeldDOWN~!

***Nathaniel Black -VS- James Blonde w/Sophie***
The Cucaracha Kingdom's new royal image consultant Sophie accompanied James Blonde to the ring, keeping his hair looking it's finest with a can of hairspray, which can't have been good for the environment. Except this show was indoors. So I guess it doesn't matter. In this battle of former stable-mates, Nathaniel Black had the better of JB and dominated for large portions of the match. Blonde managed to sneak his way into an advantage a couple of times. But really, the match consisted of Black kicking Blonde's ass. This dominant performance would have lead to a sure win, with Blonde virtually beaten after a combination of lariats, a flying knee and a brutal Half Nelson Backbreaker. However, before Black could put the finishing touches to Blonde, KING LANDON ran to the ring and made the save with a blindsight attack!

Winner: Nathaniel Black, via disqualification

King Landon continued his assault after the match, a plan clearly in mind. The King gave his orders to his trusty number two and held Black in place, as a woozy Blonde collected his can of hairspray. Things didn't quite go as planned for the Kingdom though. With Blonde still on dreamstreet, Black was able to break free and it was King Landon who took the hairspray to the eyes, to the delight of the crowd!! The King rolled to the floor and flailed in agony, leaving a horrified Blonde to be hit with one more Lariat and a Brittania Bomb for good measure. Black left satisfied, as Queen Esther and Sophie joined the OAOAST doctors in worrying over a blinded King Landon.

Alix and Maya put on their serious about wrestling glasses to interview former tag team champions Tim Cash and Biffman. Both men were obviously disappointed to have lost the tag team titles in the way that they did. However, they did not regret putting the belts on the line, as that's what fighting champions must do. They branded Reject and Theodore Moneymaker as evildoers and believed that justice would one day serve them both. When asked who would win between Reject and Moneymaker, Cash just hoped for a strong athletic contest. Biffman, however, warned us of the dangers of evil colliding.

BILLY CASSIDY VS. CENTURION MAXIMUS***

Billy walks into a stiff lariat clothesline from Maximus. Big forearm by Centurion Maximus, ripping a page from the NOAH playbook. Cassidy gets caught with a short powerbomb from Maximus. Stun Gun from Centurion Maximus! There used to be this blonde guy in WCW in the early 90's who used that...I wonder what happened to him? Billy Cassidy comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Cassidy slams Maximus down. Spear by Billy Cassidy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Maximus counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Vicious back suplex! Billy Cassidy got nailed. Cover for a two count. Delayed brainbuster suplex, Maximus held that one for ages. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Billy Cassidy ducks a clothesline attempt. Cassidy slams Centurion Maximus. Centurion Maximus pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Another Stun Gun from Centurion Maximus! We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Centurion Maximus knocks Cassidy to the outside, and plays to the crowd. He reaches out of the ring for Billy Cassidy...and gets clobbered with the brass knuckles! Right to the head! The referee looks up to see Cassidy slide in and pick up Centurion Maximus. Cassidy lifts....Yuma Valley Widowmaker! It's over. 1 - 2 - 3. Billy Cassidy gets the win. He takes the mic:

Billy Cassidy: "Can you see me, everybody? Can you see me? You better get used to this face, cos I'm gonna be around for a long, loooooong time..."


~OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships~
***Alexander The Brutal and The Last Kings Of Scotland© w/Megan Skye -VS- The Heavenly Rockers and Quiz w/Holly***
The challengers sent in the big muscleman to start, but didn't bargain on him being outwrestled by the Europeans. The Scots and the Greek warrior took turns working over one of Quiz's mighty arms. Leaving The Rockers stuck out on the apron and stuck within earshot of Holly's rantings. Logan, perhaps trying to escape that, found his way in via a blind-tag and turned the tables on Danny Boy with an unsuspecting LEFT HOOK~! The challengers then took their chance to work over Danny and isolate him. The tag specialists made quick tags in and out, focusing on the neck, bringing in Quiz to hit the big power move when neccessary. Sound strategy, but not enough to stop Danny, who avoided a Sky Hook Elbow and got the tag to Alexander. The Greek warrior ran wild on The Rockers, Scott coming to his aid after a blindsight from Quiz. The two big power men's battle was won decisively by Scott, knocking Quiz off his feet with a flying shoulder tackle and to the outside. And with the numbers in their favour, the champions eventually took advantage, Synth falling victim to the Shoulder Block Doomsday Device from the LKOS for the victory.

Winners and still 6-Man Tag Team Champions: Alexander The Brutal and The Last Kings Of Scotland, via pinfall