Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA We go from the beautiful Paris evening to the less than beautiful sight of Double C in Anglemania baseball jerseys and black BERETS as all the French wear, I'm certain. COLE Welcome to Paris, France, welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN! I am Michael Cole joined as always by Da Coach! And this show is going to be amazing.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT FIRST TIME EVERPIERCE DUNCAN VS LEON RODEZTONIGHT! TERRY Ladies and gentlemen, accompanied by MELODY NERDLY, the One & Only World tag team champions… TIM CASH and BIFFMAN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Here they come, Coach. COACH Yeah, the leading candidates to star in a remake of the Wizard of Oz. One needs a heart, another courage and Melody is Dorothy with beautiful bouncing breasts. COLE Are you out of your mind? COACH No, but Hollywood is out of ideas. “It’s Not My Time” by 3 Doors Down blares in the background as Melody leads Tim Cash and BIFF ATLAS to the ring. COLE Hey, where’s Biffman? COACH Maybe he died on the way back to his home planet. COLE Will you be serious for a minute! COACH A guy can dream can’t he? Being the gentlemen they are, Biff and Cash hold the ropes open for Melody, who greets Terry with a big hug. COACH If getting stuck with a crappy persona guarantees a hug from a chick with beautiful bouncing breasts, then put me in the ring as the Black Crow. COLE What’s with you and Melody’s breasts? COACH They’re beautiful and bouncy. Lay off the haterade and appreciate. Terry welcomes the champs, although he can’t help but stare at Biff. TERRY Biff… Atlas? BIFF The one and only. You look surprised to see me. TERRY Well, it’s just that I was expecting Biffman. BIFF Ah, yes. The masked marvel himself. MELODY The iron fist of justice. BIFF Ooh, that’s a good one. Is that currently being used by anyone? TERRY Uh, Biff, we’re on. BIFF Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Biffman couldn’t be here tonight, but he sends his regards. As you know, crime doesn’t sleep. Thankfully the world has a superhero like Biffman on their side. TERRY You can say that again. BIFF Thankfully the world has a superhero like Biffman on their side. COACH What an idiot. COLE Careful. Biff has super hearing, you know. COACH Oh please. Biff shoots a look Coach’s way and cocks his fist. COACH. COLE I warned you. In actuality, Biff posed for a little girl seated right behind Coach in a homemade Biffman costume. TERRY Tim Cash, it’s been some week for you and Biff. And it all started right here last week with your first title defense since winning the gold at Anglepalooza. CASH That’s right Terry. We hopped on a plane after beating Reject and TK and successfully defended the tag team championship across Japan and Turkey against the likes of VICE, the Can-Am Assassins, the Love Doctors, and the mammoth tag team of Jumbo and Deuce Deuce Bigelow. It goes to show Biff and I are fighting champions. Friend or foe, big or small, it doesn’t matter. All you gotta do is sign your name on the dotted line. We want to prove it’s not about who’s the biggest or toughest, but who’s got the will and grace to succeed. TERRY Somebody who possesses both of those qualities is your good friend and fellow Citizen Solider Baron Windels. I’m sure the OAOAST Galaxy would appreciate an update on his condition. CASH I just talked to Baron yesterday and he’s doing great. Needless to say he’s dying to get back in the ring. And number one on the most wanted list: Reject. MELODY I hope Reject’s an atheist because God won’t have any mercy on his soul once BW tracks him down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH We have company, Cole. Indeed we do. SPENCER REIGER and CMJ power walk to the ring as LORELEI DECENZO pleads with them to return backstage. COLE What’s this all about? Spencer grabs a mic and gets down to business. SPENCER Forget Baron Windels. Let’s talk Turkey… and Japan. VICE, the Can-Am Assassins, the Love Doctors, Jumbo and Deuce Deuce Bigelow. Nowhere in that list did I hear the LDC Moneygang. Two snubs in two months. Well enough is enough. CASH (pops hand in Spencer’s face) Talk to the hand, ‘cause the man don’t understand! COACH Whaaa…? BIFF If you’re out here looking for a title shot, all you gotta do is sign your name on the dotted line. SPENCER You damn right we‘re looking for a title shot. LORELEI No we’re not. TERRY Spencer say yes, Lorelei says no. Which one is it, CMJ? Spencer and Lorelei both stare at CMJ while Melody hums the theme song of Jeopardy. CMJ We want a title shot. Lorelei throws her arms up in disbelief. COLE Oh, my! TERRY Do you guys realize if you were to become the champions, there’s a real possibility you could face Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at AngleMania Ten? LORELEI Yeah, do you? I mean, Teddy and CW are one rung from the top of the ladder being in the Anderson Cup Finals. SPENCER And right now we’re at the top of the ladder with Dumb and Dumber until we knock them off. MELODY Not gonna happen. CMJ Shut up BOOBIE BABE! CASH Don’t talk to her like that. BIFF Yeah. SPENCER You know what? You’re right. Melody, I apologize. MELODY and CMJ BIFF & CASH SPENCER So, when do you guys want to have the tag title match? CASH We’re free for the Heartland Spectacular. SPENCER Aw. I don’t know about you CMJ, but I really was hoping tonight. CMJ nods and then levels Cash with a vicious European uppercut while Spencer clocks Biff with the MIC. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damn them! COACH Who knew Biff performed mic checks? *laughs* The LDCMG do a number on the champs when the lights suddenly go out. COLE Could it be? COACH Oh please no. The sounds of troubled streets, police alarms and fleeing citizens, can be heard through the arena. A woman screams as a single spotlight searches around the arena. Eventually it focuses on the ceiling, shining a giant "A". A triumphant fanfare sounds before "The Power" hits and Biffman appears on the top rope, hands on hips in heroic fashion. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE It’s Biffman! Biff fires his imaginary GRAPPLE GUN and then “swings” into action. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Unfortunately Biff whiffs badly on the attempted missile dropkick and gets pummeled by the LDCMG. COACH Biff is whipped in for a double clothesline, but he ducks and then wipes out the LDCMG with a BIG SPEAR! COLE Up and Atlas~! Cash returns to his feet and the champs take it to the LDCMG until they force them to retreat. COLE The World tag team champions are standing tall in Paris. COACH It’ll be a different result at the Heartland Spectacular.HEARTLAND SPECTACULAR FEBRUARY 24 LIVE ON TSM & THE PIT IN CANADACOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 HeldDOWN~! Returns We return from break with our view focused on Double C, and the audience illuminated by red, green and white lights. COLE Ladies and gentlemen after last week we received complaints from our Latin demographic about the horrible butchering of the Spanish language perpetrated by Michael Buffer COACH Wait, wait, wait!! Back the truck up Cole... We have a Latin demographic?? COLE I was as surprised as you were, but yes they are located in Los Angles COACH They?? COLE Erm... yeah, both of them *Crickets chirp* COLE Anyway, as a result OAOAST has hired someone with perfect Spanish pronunciation to handle the introductions for MILLF matches. I give you to Ricardo Montalban COACH Whoa that's huge news! COLE Junior COACH What?? COLE Ricardo Montalban, Jr. COACH You are kidding me right? We cut to the ring where the aforementioned Ricardo Montalban, Jr. is standing, looking every bit like his famous father, except at least 30, perhaps even 40 years younger. Ricardo Montalban, Jr. A ganar a dos de tres caídas sin limite de tiempo! COACH Who the what now? Ricardo Montalban, Jr. Or in other words; the following match is scheduled for the best two out three fall, with no time-limit!! And it is M.I.L.L.F'S first TRUE Lucha Libre showcase! Introducing first, hailing from the Space AcademyDEEEEEE-OWN!! Ricardo Montalban, Jr. Accompanied to the ring by el Generalissimo del Espacio! I present Cadeto Azul, Cadeto Amarillo and Cadeto Rosa, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS CADETOS DELLLLLL EEEEEE-SPACIO!!!DEEEEEE-OWN!!DUH-DUH-DUH-DUUUUUUH! The first man out is El Camaleón, dressed in the most over the top, ridiculous general's uniform since Raul Julia's appearance as General M. Bison in the Street Fighter movie. In addition to the very broad shoulders, the 20 medals on his chest, the riding crop tucked under his arm and the 2 foot tall hat El Camaleón has on his normal green lizard like mask, trunks and boots. By his side is Bribón, dressed like a green space monkey, happily picking lice out of his plush green fur. COLE I guess El Camaleón was promoted COACH More like he escaped from the loony bin. Half way down the aisle Camaleón stops and points to the entrance where the three Cadetos del Espacio step through the curtains. El Generalissimo waves for them to come on, causing them to jog down the aisle towards the ring while waving to the fans. As Cadeto Azul passes Generalissimo Camaleón he high fives him, followed by a high five to Cadeto Amarillo. Instead of high fiving Cadeto Rosa Bribón gives him a playful smack on the ass instead. COACH Well at least they are color coordinates so we can figure out who is who, I mean the Blue, Yellow and Pink Power Rangers make our job easier COLE Ix-nay on the Angers-Rays! COACH Whu? COLE They are Space Cadets Coach (laughs nervously) we would certainly never allow wrestlers to use a trademark we did not pay for COACH How long have you worked for this com- COLE I SAID THEY ARE SPACE CADETS!! Not a thinly veiled rip-off! Ricardo Montalban, Jr. Ladies and gentlemen, I know you may not recognize the music, but would you please stand and rise in respect of the Mexican National Anthem!!Ciña oh Patria! tus sienes de olivia BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! COACH Good old US of A, we can rely on them to put everyone straight COLE We're in Paris COACH Ah well there you have it COLE What? COACH They are French; they do not like anything foreign COLE You just said Good old US of... you know what, just forget it! Ricardo Montalban, Jr. And now, introducing their superiors... I mean their opponents, excuse me. Led to the ring by the defender of Lucha Libre, the pride of Mexico El Legendario Dr. Lucha, Jr., Here is El Juez and Los Hijos del Infierno, collectively known as LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OLA MEX-I-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNAAA-A-A-A-A-A!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHH!! A sea of Red, White and Green fireworks go off as Dr. Lucha, Jr. leads the way as El Juez, Los Hijos del Infierno and Espiritu Negro make their way to the ring. COACH Such a brave man, insisting on going to the ring with his team despite the horrible, debilitating injury to his right arm COLE Oh yeah it was so debilitating that it almost kept him from kicking El Camaleón's head in last week! And why is that Negro guy there? COACH DO YOU MIND!! I work here COLE Not you, Espiritu Negro, sorry As they reach ringside El Juez leaps up on the apron and holds the ring ropes open for their injured leader. Moments later all of La Ola Mexicana line up in the ring, ignoring their opponents for the moment as they sing along with the anthem. Dr. Lucha, Jr. places his left hand on his heart while Espiritu Negro waves the Mexican flag in the air.Mexicanos, al grito de guerra On "Guerra" Juez and Los Hijos del Infierno turn around and attack Los Cadetos del Espacio before the bell even has a chance to ring. DING!! DING!! DING!! Despite the protests of Generalissimo Camaleón and Bribón the match starts off with La Ola Mexicana in control. Hijo del Infierno I throws Cadeto Azul over the top rope while En Juez gets rid of Cadeto Amarillo with a stiff kick to the face, sending him through the ropes and to the floor. COACH I guess they decided to forego the traditional Mexican Stand-off to begin the match. Graphics briefly flash on the screen displaying the score "Rudos - 0, Tecnicos - 0" on top of the MILLF logo, to remind everyone of the current score. With the surprise attack La Ola Mexicana takes charge of the match, focusing on Cadeto Rosa while the other Cadetos try to shake off the attack on the floor. COACH Which one is this 1 or 2?? COLE That is Hijo del Infierno II I do believe COACH Them people all look alike COLE Them people? COACH Yeah wrestlers in identical outfits, you put that race card away Cole, you cannot play it. Hijo del Infierno II catches his opponent as he bounces off the ropes and brings him down across his knee with a tilt-a-while backbreaker. II keeps the pressure on, stretching Cadeto Rosa over his knee so far that Rosa's head and ass almost touch the group. Dr. Lucha, Jr. Get him!! Make the little sprout regret sticking his nose in our business!! After a moment longer in Hijo del Infierno II's torture device Cadeto Rosa finally manages to bring his knee up and strike II in the side of the face to break the hold. Rosa gets to his feet, bounces off the rope and is COLE CAUGHT BY II!! What a beautiful Huracanrana from Hijo del Infierno II, he caught Cadeto as he was running towards him The takedown throws Cadeto Rosa half way across the ring into La Ola Mexicana's corner. When Cadeto Rosa tries to roll out of the ring his exit is blocked by Espiritu Negro on the floor. Moments later Espiritu is leveled as Generalissimo Camaleón nails him with a lariat to allow Rosa to escape the ring. COLE In Lucha Libre either Azul or Amarillo can now enter the ring, one of the unique rules of Lucha Libre El Camaleón stands above the fallen Espiritu and celebrates, only to be cut off by El Juez who jumped off the apron with a double axe handle to Camaleón's back. While everyone is looking to the floor Cadeto Amarillo steps through the ropes, races across the ring and... KNOCKS EL JUEZ DOWN WITH A TOPÉ THROUGH THE ROPES!! Moments later Hijo del Infierno I scales the turnbuckles, diving onto all four wrestlers on the ground. COACH Man the bodies are flying everywhere COLE Here comes Amarillo!! The yellow Cadet has entered the ring and with a running start leaps up on the top rope, then flips forward splashing on top of everyone on the floor! YEAH!! COLE That woke up the crowd Up next Hijo del Infierno stands on the apron with his back to everyone on the floor. Before he can leap off Cadeto Azul grabs his leg, only to get one of Hijo del Infierno's boots to the face for his trouble. With the distraction out of the way Hijo del Infierno II jumps from the apron to the top rope, then leaps off while twisting around his own axle, executing a breathtaking tornillo splash to the gathered group. COACH Hoooooooly! did you see the rotation he got on that move? COLE Everyone is on the floor except.. Cadeto Rosa, who has recovered enough to climb up on the top turnbuckle, he swiftly runs down the top rope while keeping his back to the others, then bounds backwards, getting an insane amount of air as he executes a backwards Senton onto everyone YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! COLE The Cadeto Especial!! I read about it in our notes but mother of mercy that a lot of height COACH That pink ranger MUST have helium in his blood because that was amazing. While the move was breathtaking and very high risk the action does not stop as Hijo del Infierno I drags Cadeto Azul from the pile of people and tosses him inside the ring. Hijo I throws Azul into the corner and then SMACK!! Nails him with a vicious knife-edge chop, followed by another and yet a third with such impact that Cadeto Azul doubles over forward and drops to his knees in pain. Thinking quickly Hijo del Infierno I twists Azul's left arm around his leg, then leaps over his opponents back to roll him into COLE LA MAGISTRAL CRADLE!! THIS COULD BE IT!! ONE!! TWO!! But that was not quite it as Cadeto Azul manages to get a foot on the ropes. An angry Hijo del Infierno I drags Cadeto Azul to his feet and then THUD!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! In frustration kicks him viciously between the legs. COACH Ah man he missed both Cadeto Azul's legs COLE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DISQUALIFICATION!! COACH Yeah coulda, woulda, shoulda COLE It's illegal COACH Only if the referee sees it. Unfortunately for Los Cadetos, the referee was distracted by trying to keep El Camaleón from chasing Dr. Lucha, Jr. on the floor, and did not see the rule infraction. Since the first low blow worked so well for him Hijo del Infierno I grabs both of Cadeto Azul's legs, spreads them and then STOMP!!! The vicious stomp to the groin draws an involuntary groan from most of the crowd. Infierno I high fives his younger brother in celebration, only to be interrupted as the referee slides into the ring and raises Cadeto Azul's arm in the air Ricardo Montalban, Jr. Señoras y Señoritas the winners of the first fall by disqualification Los Cadetos deeeeeeeeeel ESPACIO!!! The MILLF Logo Graphics appears on the screen displaying "Rudos - 0, Tecnicos - 1" as Dr. Lucha, Jr. complains to the referee about the decision. COACH That's alright, just the first fall, you can still bounce back from this guys. COLE Alright here we go, Segunda Caida COACH Second hand Ca-what? COLE It means second fall you dimwit! COACH *Mumbles* you're the dimwit. The break between the falls has allowed Los Cadetos to pull Cadeto Azul out of the ring and let Cadeto Amarillo start the second fall. Hijo del Infierno I almost locks up with his opponent, but El Juez motions to tag him in instead. After the quick tag El Juez enters the ring, just staring at his smaller opponent. COACH Oh you're in deep shit now kid! The maniacal Judge just stares at his little yellow opponent, not moving a muscle, turning up the intimidation factor to 11 while staring a hole through his opponent. Drawing up all his courage Cadeto Amarillo takes a step towards El Juez, arms raised for a collar and elbow lock-up. Once El Juez reacts Amarillo ducks under his arms, and then takes a run at the ropes for more momentum. On the rebound El Juez tries to kick Cadeto Amarillo in the face, only to miss as the faster Cadeto ducks under the foot and then swiftly spins around, landing a spinning savate kick to the back of El Juez sending him flying into the corner. COACH Oh come on, fight like a man COLE Like a man?? COACH Face to face, that's how I handle all my fights COLE *Mumbles* that is not what I heard. With El Juez face first, kneeling against the middle turnbuckle Cadeto Amarillo scores a bit hit by landing an inverted Bronco Buster on El Juez, driving the rudo's face against the turnbuckle repeatedly. After bouncing on El Juez four or five times Cadeto Amarillo leaps off, then foolishly begins to celebrate in the ring. Generalissimo Camaleón Focus!! Camaleón's warning comes too late as Cadeto Amarillo is knocked down by a running knee lift from El Juez. The bigger Judge punishes Cadeto Amarillo with a series of knee drops to the face, striking over and over without mercy. El Juez drags Amarillo to his feet, dragging him into position for a power bomb. When El Juez lifts his opponent into the air Cadeto Amarillo uses the momentum to flip over the top of El Juez, dropping down behind him and rolling el Juez up for a pin ONE!! COLE Not even a two-count! El Juez quickly gets back to his feet and throws Amarillo into the turnbuckles. When El Juez tries to splash Cadeto the kid gets his feet up; planting both boots solidly in El Juez' chest. The kick knocks El Juez back, allowing him to use the momentum to roll back over and onto his feet. COACH Man these guys are like weebles, they just will not stay down The second El Juez is back on his feet Cadeto Amarillo lunges at him, as El Juez ducks Amarillo leaps over the top into a sunset flip that pulls El Juez down. O- The referee barely has time to get down on his feet before El Juez rolls back up and sits on Cadeto Amarillo's chest. ONE!! Before there is a second count Cadeto Rosa comes off the top rope with a drop kick to the chest of El Juez COLE Amazing, what an amazing series of moves. COACH Here comes Los Hijos!! El Juez partners quickly enter the ring, throwing Cadeto Amarillo into Cadeto Azul, knocking them both to the floor. Hijo del Infierno I and El Juez quickly pick Rosa and presses him over their heads. Hijo del Infierno II drops to his back and raises both feet in the air, allowing his partners to drop Cadeto Rosa face first onto the bottom of his boots. COLE That looked painful COACH Good thing he is wearing a mask, this way he can cover up the bruise. El Juez drops down on top of Cadeto Rosa while his partners quickly vacate the ring. ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! Ricardo Montalban, Jr. Señoras y Señoritas the winners of the second fall evening the score Uno a Uno, EEEEEL JUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!! The MILLF Logo Graphics appears on the screen displaying "Rudos - 1, Tecnicos - 1". COACH That pitfall was just a formality at this point, no way Cadeto Rosa can get back up COLE We will be right back after this commercial break, come back for the third and deciding fall. ""Commercial break with an "OAOAST No Homo" Promo" COLE And we are back fans; Los Cadetos are in deep trouble as La Ola Mexicana prevented Cadeto Rosa from tagging out after the fall. COACH Playing it smart! El Juez tags in Hijo del Infierno I, then he grabs Cadeto Rosa by the leg and begins to spin around in a circle COACH The Giant Swing! COLE You know I am not sure how this hurts anyone Hijo del Infierno I times the move just right, drop kicking Cadeto Rosa as El Juez swings him around COACH THAT'S HOW!! The older Son of Infierno quickly scales the turnbuckles, but before he can land a move Cadeto Rosa is pulled out of the ring by Camaleón, allowing another Cadeto to enter. Cadeto Azul vaults over the top rope, races across the ring and nails Hijo del Infierno with a leaping kick to the chest. The kick knocks Infierno I onto his ass, straddling the top rope. COLE Azul is turning the tide quickly here The momentum only stays on Los Cadetos side momentarily as El Hijo del Infierno II enters the ring, executing a handstand springboard kick to the back of Cadeto Azul as he tried to apply a superplex. Hijo II lifts Cadeto Azul up on his shoulders and takes a couple of steps back, allowing Hijo del Infierno I to leap off the top rope to drop kick Cadeto Azul off his brother's shoulders and then goes for a cover ONE!! TWO!! EL BRIBÓN IS IN THE RING!! COACH Get that green monkey out of the damn ring!! EL Bribón distracted El Hijo del Infierno I, breaking up the pin without touching him. When Hijo I turns his attention to Bribón the diminutive luchador backs off, backing right into the waiting arms of... EL JUEZ!! COLE Oh come on he's just a little guy COACH Hey that's discriminatory, El Juez whoops everyone, small or large. El Juez effortlessly picks up Bribón by the throat, holding him up in the air as he turns towards the ropes and then tosses him over the top COLE Oh thank god Camaleón and the others caught him!! With the rest of the team is distracted on the floor Hijo I picks up Cadeto Azul in a Fireman's Carry position while Hijo II drops to his knees. COACH Man I love how these two work so well together to punish those punk kids "THUD" Hijo II drops Cadeto Azul chest first to his brother's knee and then stands back as Hijo del Infierno II covers his opponent. Before he can cover Cadeto Amarillo races into the ring, only to be met by a double drop kick that sends him into the corner. Hijo del Infierno I drills Amarillo with a DDT and a split second later both Hijos cover their fallen opponents ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!! DING! DING! DING!! Ricardo Montalban, Jr. The winner of the fall AND the match!! El Juez and Los Hijos del Infierno, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OLA MEX-I-CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNAAA-A-A-A-A-A!! La Ola Mexicana does not pause to celebrate as Espiritu Negro attacks Cadeto Rosa on the floor, throwing the kid head first into the guardrail. COLE They have Camaleón cornered! COACH Get him; make lizard kebabs out of him! All five members of La Ola Mexican close in on El Camaleón who is trapped in the corner of the guardrails, protecting Bribón with his body. Before they can attack three figures dashes down the aisle and jumps La Ola Mexicana from behind. COACH SECURITY!! SECURITY!! They are trying to mug La Ola Mexicana COLE You idiot, they are not masked bandits! COACH Well I have never seen them before COLE Well of course, they are from MILLF, according to the notes they are Guerrero Dorada, Aviador Divina and Tigre Azteca COACH Siggy, Aggy and Tiggy? The three tecnicos arm themselves with chairs from ringside to protect El Camaleón. Unfortunately they are not fast enough to stop El Juez from throwing El Camaleón into the ring post shoulder first. COLE Thank god these guys were here tonight COACH Oh yeah, thank god they had such great timing. La Ola Mexicana may still have won the war; I think Camaleón is really hurt. We fade to commercials as La Ola Mexicana retreat up the aisle while Tigre Azteca checks on El Camaleón who is still on his knees holding his shoulder in agony.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return to live action with the crowd under purple and blue lights and the ring regularly lit. Inside the squared circle are Michael Cole…QUEEN ESTHER ANDSOPHIE COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN from Paris, France! Here in the ring with me are Queen Esther and Sophie of Cucaracha Kingdom. QUEEN ESTHER Hello, humble peasants! Hello! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” QUEEN ESTHER Sweet heavens! Am I being booed? SOPHIE Non, non! Here in my home country of France, to be booed is to be honored! Booing simply means that zhe people have an appreciation for what you bring to zhe culture of life. And to be booed in Pair-eee of all places is to have your portrait painted by Da Vinci or perhaps to have happy birthday sung to you by Celine Dion. QUEEN ESTHER Oh! Well, then I thank you for booing me, and I hope that you will consider booing me some more. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” QUEEN ESTHER SOPHIE Now Monsieur Cole, what are we in zhe ring for? COLE We’re in it to find out who you two ladies have chose to be your partner for the six girl match at the Heartland Spectacular against Maya, Jade, and Megan Skye. SOPHIE I am glad you asked such a question, mon ami! Zhe person we have chosen is equal in beauty to us, as well as equal in grace and class. Ladies and gentlemen of Pair-eee, I give to you Lorelei DeCenzo! ::CUE:: Lady Gaga-Money HoneyM O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Emerging onto an entrance stage that’s soaked in gold and green lights is Lorelei DeCenzo. Attired in an ultra short low cut strapless dress, Lorelei twirls around to showcase her incredibly impressive features to the world. COACH Oh baby! Entering the ring, The Money Honey is granted a microphone. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my it is a pleasure! LORELEI Believe me, Queen Esther, the pleasure is all mine. QUEEN ESTHER No it is mine. LORELEI Nope, its mine. QUEEN ESTHER I do believe that its mine. LORELEI Nah, its mine. QUEEN ESTHER Incorrect, my dear lady, it is mine. COLE Gah! Its both of yours alright! QUEEN ESTHER Dear heavens, peasant, calm down before you burst a blood vessel! I have chosen Lorelei to be our partner, because she is a chaste woman. She would never parade around in skimpy clothes as the mother of those two devil children Maya and Jade would. COLE Are you seeing what dress she’s wearing? Its small enough to be a belt and tight enough to have been painted on! SOPHIE Fermez la bouche! QUEEN ESTHER Lorelei is a clean woman, free of disease and of evil spirits. COLE Evil spirits? QUEEN ESTHER Additionally her phrenology report came out marevelous! I couldn’t be happier with the shape of her head as it relates to morality, ethical character, and chastity. COLE Phrenology?! Seriously? SOPHIE (sternly) Seriously. COLE Okay then. Lorelei, you have a women’s title match later tonight against Jade Rodez-Duncan. LORELEI Yes, I do. And do I owe it to Spencer? No. While the child who’s career I helped launched waffled on getting me my title opportunity his girlfriend went to Alfdogg and made the title match herself. I suppose you think I should give her credit for her bravery and kindness. No. I deride her stupid and foolish. If she had any sense at all she never would have once thought about giving me a chance to capture her Women’s Title. Why is that? Because that is a chance I will take and make good on and become a two time Women’s champion. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” QUEEN ESTHER Oh goodie! How these simple peasants adore the queen and her allies! COLE Folks, stick around because we’ve got more HeldDOWN coming up!COMING UP NEXT ANDERSON CUP CONFERENCE FINALSD*LUX VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERSNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 As we return from commercial break "Khyber Pass" hits and the Heavenly Rockers make their way ringside led by Holly and Colonel Abdullah Nerdly. BUFFER This is the Jannetty Bracket Conference Final match; the winner to face Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright next week at the Heartland Spectacular. Introducing first, the top ranked team in the Jannetty Bracket, accompanied by Holly… from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE As Michael Buffer said, the winner of this one will go on to meet Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright next week in Indianapolis. COACH Imagine if Abdullah got his team into the Anderson Cup Finals and then got Biffman to join his church. COLE I thought you didn’t like Biffman. COACH I don’t, but Abby is a miracle worker, Cole. Only he could turn Biffman into a weapon of mass destruction. COLE What?! COACH I mean agent of peace! Just had a slip of the tongue there.WELL ITS MIDNIGHTAND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. "Solar Midnite" by Lupe Fiasco cues and the chicks go BONKERS over the arrival of D*LUX. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD! Total combined weight, 379 pounds... they are the number two seeds in the Jannetty Bracket... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... together, they are D*LLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The boys fire up the crowd as they slap members of the OAOAST Galaxy‘s hands. Before they can remove their stylish denim jackets, D*LUX get ambushed by the Heavenly Rockers. * DINGDINGDING * COLE What a sickening way to begin the 2011 Anderson Cup Conference Finals. COACH The stakes are high, Cole. You gotta do whatever it takes to get into the finals. After they dump Shayne outside, THR deliver a vicious double back elbow on Tyler. Jade tends to Shayne while teenage girls scream in horror as THR hook Tyler for a DOUBLE PERCUSSION DDT. COACH It’s gonna be over early, Cole. THR give the dreaded finger twirl before getting drilled by a TOP ROPE FLYING CLOTHESLINE! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Tyler Bryant says this one’s far from over. THR are whipped in for a pair of backdrops, then dropkicked out to the arena floor where Colonel Abdullah shouts words of encouragement to his men. COACH Quick, Cole. Join me in silent prayer. Cole no sells Coach as D*LUX hit the ropes and wipe out THR with STEREO SUICIDE DIVES! COLE D*LUX Flying Without Wings! Tyler tosses Logan in and fires away in the corner, a little payback from OAOAST Syndicated. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! COLE Congratulations Logan Mann! You finally have a Top Ten Hit! COACH Oh, shut up. Logan staggers out of the corner swinging wildly. Tyler whips him to the corner and charges in, but right into a knee that puts a smile on the face of Colonel Abdullah. Just when it seems THR have everything back in control, Logan gets caught leaping off the top with a shot to the gut. Tyler quickly delivers a PHANTOM RUNNING NECKBREAKER and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Tyler moves and Synth accidentally elbows Logan! SYNTH Tyler calls Shayne in and the guys hit an inverted atomic drop/yakuza kick combo. COLE Opposites Attract! Synth exit’s the picture as Tyler wrings Logan’s arm and tags out. Shayne delivers a top rope double axe handle smash onto the outstretch limb of Logan and then performs an arm drag takeover into arm bar. Eventually Logan returns to a vertical base and fires Shayne into the ropes for a CRISSCROSS. COACH We’re really going old school now. Shayne tries to surprise Logan with a backdrop, but Logan answers with a swinging neck breaker! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! THR tag and Synth wastes no time putting the boots to Shayne. After being introduced violently to the top turnbuckle, Shayne is whipped to the far corner, but he avoids a charge and takes Synth down with a TORNADO DDT, then delivers a PICTURE PERFECT ELBOWDROP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Shayne hammers away on Synth in the corner until he spots Logan trying to sneak up behind and decks him with a leg lariat. COACH It’s like Shayne had eyes behind his back, Cole. COLE That’s important against the Heavenly Rockers. Synth reverses a whip and Shayne gets tripped by Abdullah. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Abdullah’s claim that he was just sweeping the ring doesn’t fly with Shayne, who winds up flying outside after being struck with a running knee to the back by Synth. COLE What did I tell you? You gotta have an extra set of eyes whenever you’re facing the Heavenly Rockers. The Heavenly Rockers distract the ref while band head of security QUIZ drops Shayne throat-first on the guardrail. Abdullah and Holly then get their licks in as Tyler is restrained by the official. COACH You know what they say, Cole. A family that plays together stays together. *laughs* Synth helps Shayne back in and covers him. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY TYLER! Logan receives the tag and executes a hangman’s neck breaker. The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Holly lays the verbal smack down on Shayne while her man stomps away. Logan whips Shayne in for a back elbow and then connects with a top rope double axe handle smash. Shayne is rammed into the boot of Synth, who receives the tag and executes a TOP ROPE FRANKENSTEINER! COLE Synth may have just punched the Heavenly Rockers ticket to the Anderson Cup Finals. Synth decides to play air guitar from his knees rather than go straight for the pin. COACH Cover him Synth! You’ll have plenty of time to do that later. Synth finally makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Damnit! Logan tags in and signals for a simultaneous clothesline that would make Shayne the filling to a Heavenly Rocker sandwich. Fortunately Shayne hears Jade scream “duck” and THR collide! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Shayne uses his remaining strength to hit a double bulldog and then tag out. COLE There’s the tag! Go get ’em Tyler! Tyler goes bananas on THR. He slams both repeatedly and then cracks both their heads together. Logan reverses a corner whip and charges in, only to drop down when Tyler leaps to the top for a reverse cross body. Instead he fakes Logan out and comes back with a TOP ROPE SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY SYNTH! The Synthmeister hammers Tyler and then tries to whip him in, but Tyler reverses as Shayne re-enters the picture and D*LUX hit a Samoan drop/neck breaker combo! COLE Rock Your Body! Abdullah hops on the apron and gets nailed by a DOUBLE SUPERKICK! COLE Oh yeah! Hit Me Baby One More Time! QUIZ COACH I think D*LUX is in for a pop quiz, Cole. D*LUX prepare for a showdown while Quiz is ordered off the apron. As the ref does his best to keep Quiz out, Holly hands Logan a set of BRASS KNUCKLES. COLE Oh no! Not again! Logan goes for the cheap shot, but Tyler moves and Logan crashes into Quiz! COACH That’s gotta feel like running into a brick wall, Cole. The impact knocks Quiz to the floor and Logan back at Tyler who lifts him up in a wheelbarrow as Shayne runs in to hit the Diamond Dust! COLE Great Scott! The D*LUX Capacitor~! Holly tries to run-in to breakup the pin, but Jade grabs her legs. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * "Solar Midnite" by Lupe Fiasco plays as the official announcement is made. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, advancing to the 2011 Anderson Cup Finals to face Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright next week at the Heartland Spectacular… "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... D*LLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Maya suddenly reappears with a box of popcorn as D*LUX have their arms raised in victory. JADE MAYA Oh, all the action made me hungry so I went to get something to eat. You wouldn’t BELIEVE how long the lines were. TYLER Good enough for me. SHAYNE Me too. JADE Me three. The gang share Maya’s popcorn as they return backstage. COACH I think the real answer is somebody forgot Maya is the co-manager of D*LUX. COLE That never would have happened under Patty's watch. Anyway, more fun to come!LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S...ANGLEMANIA TENSUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 3rdONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEWCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return to the One And Only Nerdly... erm I mean OAOAST locker rooms with Maggie Nerdly inside one of the locker rooms. In the back El Camaleón is being attended to by the medics as he holds a bag of ice on his shoulder. MAGGIE I am here with OAOAST’s newest acquisitions... this guy Maggie points to Aviador Divina MAGGIE And this guy Points to Guerrero Dorada MAGGIE And who can forget this .... tiger guy TIGRE AZTECA It's okay, not that many people outside of Mexico has herd of us AVIADOR DIVINA Speak for yourself, Aviador Divina is known from Jalisco to Japan, from Mazatlan to Main, from Laredo to TIGRE AZTECA Liverpool? MAGGIE Sure... yeah, totally world famous (rolls eyes) Look I was just hoping to get an update on this green guy. Well I say *I*, more like the OAOAST guys said go ask.... so.... Awkward pause as Maggie looks totally unimpressed by Aviador Divina's attempt to show off his physique MAGGIE How is he? GUERRERO DORADA We are not sure, hopefully he will be okay. AVIADOR DIVINA The most important thing now is to get back at La Ola Mexicana, so that's why I am challenging them to face someone other than rookies. TIGRE AZTECA I think the most important thing is El Camaleón's health, but yes *WE* do want to lay out a challenge, the four of us against La Ola Mexicana in an Atomicos match at the Heartland Spectacular. MAGGIE Atomicos? TIGRE AZTECA Eight man tag, that's what that means, MAGGIE Well D'UH! I know that, I was just wondering how you can have an Atomicos match if El Camaleón is injured. Before anyone can answer the question Bribón, still dressed like a green monkey, pushes his way past the luchadors and takes center stage GUERRERO DORADA What is it boy?? AVIADOR DIVINA He is trying to tell us something Since Bribón does not speak he is reduced to a series of hand gestures and grunts as he tries to get his message across. AVIADOR DIVINA Stand back boys, I was a champions Charades player when I was a kid TIGRE AZTECA (mostly to himself) of course you were AVIADOR DIVINA Okay is it a book? no, how about a movie title?? Bribón shakes his head and keeps gesturing, mimicking giving someone a headlock while punching him in the face AVIADOR DIVINA I think I got it (snaps his fingers) Timmy is stuck down the well and needs help TIGRE AZTECA A-Hem! I think he is trying to tell us that if Camaleón is not able to wrestle then HE will take his place against La Ola Mexicana. AVIADOR DIVINA Well that was my next guess. GUERRERO DORADA That settles it, the four of us against La Ola Mexicana, we'll even let Dr. Lucha, Jr. come to ringside with them if he is not afraid to face even odds. MAGGIE So there you have it, will La Ola Mexicana accept the challenge? Probably, I dunno *shrugs* *Fade out* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE With just over a week to go until the Heartland Spectacular, the war of words between the War Games combatants will escalate into warfare tonight, as Denzel Spencer, the Heartland Champion and member of Zack Malibu's team, will defend the Heartland Title against "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez here tonight. COACH The Heartland Champ is gonna get a lesson in street smarts tonight, that's for sure! COLE That match is coming up shortly, but right now we're going to head to the back and let Maggie Nerdly speak with the champion about his upcoming match. MAGGIE Thanks, guys! I'm here with OAOAST Heartland Champion Denzel Spencer, and one of the so-called "leaders of the locker room" as the OAOAST deals with Anglesault's attempted takeover. Denzel, you've been one of the most outspoken people on... Just then, Spencer gets tackled down, and Maggie leaps back, shrieking in terror! From off camera, Todd Cortez arrives on the scene by hitting a HOLLOW POINT~! on the Heartland Champion, the same man he's set to face in mere minutes! Cortez stands over his foe, and kicks Spencer in the ribs as he tries to get up. Cortez then brandishes his now trademark fork, and goes to work on Spencer, trying to gouge his eye out with the fork! The Heartland Champion screams in agony as Cortez works him over, but soon enough OAOAST staff are on the scene to pry Cortez off. Other rush to the aid of Spencer, and the scene cuts out before anything else can go down.COMMERCIAL COLE Fans, we're back on HeldDOWN~!, and if you're just joining us, a gruesome scene unfolded just before the break. Denzel Spencer, the OAOAST Heartland Champion, was set for a title defense here tonight against Todd Cortez. However, during an interview with Maggie Nerdly, Denzel was blindsided by Cortez, and viciously attacked with a fork. We know that Denzel is in the back getting treatment right now, and..."1 for the treble, 2 for the bass, welcome to the great, incredible paper chase..." Todd Cortez's theme song, "Oh No", cuts Michael Cole's sentence off, and the fans are even less happy to see him than they usually are, thanks to his actions already tonight. COLE What's he doing out here? COACH I don't know, Cole, why don't you go ask him? You afraid of getting forked up? COLE The only reason you just spoke was to throw that pun in there, wasn't it? COACH Forkin' A. COLE For Pete's sake, Coach, this maniac has been on a rampage for months, we've got an OAOAST titleholder down and bleeding in the back, and you're out here carrying on with one-liners like it's nothing!? COACH Don't hate the player, hate the game, Mikey Cole. Spencer got a receipt tonight, because he's rollin' with the softies on Zack Malibu's side. He wants to play hero, but the thing is, Anglesault and his boys aren't playin'...especially Todd Cortez! Cortez goes over to Michael Buffer and yanks the mic from his hand, looking at the famed announcer in disgust before he enters the ring. CORTEZ You know, I got into wrestling because this is supposed to be a MAN'S sport. I knew that blood and guts were a part of the equation, but it looks like I'm dealing with a locker room full of weak in the knees, queasy-stomached punk bitches! Now, I'm supposed to be gettin' a Heartland title shot here tonight, but I don't think Denzel Spencer is gonna be able to make it. So, the way I see it, the right thing to do is to get a referee out here, count to ten, ring the bell, and give me that belt, since your champion, the people's champion, your hero, is nothin' but a damn COWARD! Thunderous boos ring through Todd's ears, and he circles the ring for a few moments until a referee comes out. Nick Patrick tries reasoning with Todd, but the thug superstar will have none of it. CORTEZ Are you serious? This punk bitch ref is tryin' to call the whole thing off? I don't think so. Nick Patrick, you get your ass in this ring, you count out that coward, and you crown me Heartland Champion RIGHT NOW. Patrick gets in the ring, and does his best to talk Cortez down, but once again, it's all for naught. CORTEZ You better pray they're done stitching him up back there, because if you don't count to ten right now, you're going to need them. Intimidated into doing so, Patrick starts making the count, and the fans are livid that Cortez is essentially being handed a title tonight. COACH Anglesault must be all smiles backstage! COLE I'm sure he is! First his nephew gets the biggest handout in company history and takes the World Title from Krista, and now Todd Cortez is going to be the Heartland Champion after brutally assaulting the champ during an interview! Patrick gets to eight, but that's when "Master Blaster" is cued up, and OUT COMES DENZEL SPENCER! However, it's not a very dynamic entrance, as the Heartland Champion walks slowly onto the stage, blood soaked gauze over his right eye. COACH You're kidding me. He thinks he can fight like that!? COLE Denzel Spencer is trying to get to the ring! Trainer, staff, and all the blah blah blah's that linger backstage at these shows try to form a wall, but Spencer shoves through them, and continues on to the ring! He gets up on the apron, and Patrick goes to see if he's OK, but Cortez takes this chance to attack...and runs into the shoulder of Spencer, who shoots himself through the ropes! Cortez staggers back, and Spencer hits a springboard missle dropkick to nail his foe, officially stating that the Heartland Title match will go on as planned! COLE I don't believe this! Denzel Spencer is in no condition to be out here, but he is! Spencer gets up and holds his head, but when Patrick goes to check on him, the proud champion blows past the ref and goes for his foe. He brings Cortez up, but the Urban Legend jams a thumb in his eye, then headbutts him, aiming for the gauze! Cortez runs Spencer into the corner and tears the gauze off, and blood starts flowing even before Cortez pounds on the cut! COACH There's blood in the water, Mikey Cole, and Todd Cortez is a great white! Nick Patrick quickly tries to break it up, backing Cortez away from Spencer. The Heartland Champion looks like he can barely stand, and Cortez shoves Patrick away and hits a running shoulder tackle in the corner. Spencer drops to one knee, and Cortez takes him by the head and drags him center ring...and sets up for the RIOT ACT PLUS~!...ONLY FOR SPENCER TO BACKDROP HIS WAY OUT OF IT! COLE C'mon Denzel! The crowd is alive, roaring for the champion to gain some momentum and chanting his name. After backdropping Cortez he collapsed, and as he tries to get up, he finds a recovered Cortez grabbing him from behind...but he's able to hit a jawbreaker to stun him! Spencer turns around and nails a right hand, and another, and...and that's when he's cut off by a knee to the gut, and set up for the RIOT ACT PLUS AGAIN...AND THIS TIME IT HITS~! COACH I knew this wasn't gonna end well for your boy, Mikey Cole! Spencer is OUT, and Cortez knows all too well what's coming next, as Patrick reluctantly makes the count. ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE Damn it. DAMN IT! COACH And you call ME biased! "Oh No" comes on again, and this time the lyrics are drowned out by the announcement from Michael Buffer. BUFFER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER...and the NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION...the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD CORRRRRRRRRRRTEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Patrick hands the belt to Todd and raises his hand, but Cortez knocks the ref's arm away, choosing to go up on the ropes and hold up the belt. The fans aren't pleased, but Cortez continues to showcase his win, holding up the title for all to see, while staff hit the ring to tend to Denzel. Cortez hops off the ropes and stays in the corner, watching them with disdain as they try to help Denzel up...and when they do, Cortez runs at him and NAILS him in the face with the Heartland Title! COLE What the...c'mon now! Hasn't he had enough!? Cortez swings the belt, threatening to whip it at anyone who goes near him and clears the ring. Spencer is limp, but Cortez manages to bring him to his feet once again, and a sick smile stretches across his face. COLE Don't do it. DON'T DO IT, TODD! A staff member quickly hits the ring, but Cortez nails him with an inverted atomic drop, then a running kick that sends him through the ropes. Now the staff on the floor head to the aid of their fallen brother, while Cortez pulls Spencer up, and ONCE AGAIN HITS A RIOT ACT PLUS~! COLE GET HIM OUT OF THERE! WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! Immediately, ZACK MALIBU comes bursting down the aisle, and when Cortez catches sight of the Franchise, he rolls out of the ring and hops into the crowd. Malibu chooses not to give chase, instead tending to his fallen friend as the camera fades out.COMMERCIAL HeldDOWN~! is back, and Maggie Nerdly is standing by with a solemn ZACK MALIBU in the locker room area. MAGGIE Zack, I know tonight...I mean...wait, let's start over... MALIBU It's all right, Maggie, I know where this is going. Tonight has not been a good night. Not only did my friend and teammate Denzel Spencer get jumped back here tonight, but even after showing courage and bravery that so many people lack these days, he's in an ambulance going to the hospital right now. He's got a stab wound above his eye, he lost God knows how much blood, and he could have a broken neck. So yeah, tonight has not been a good night. MAGGIE How does this affect War Games? It's obvious that Denzel Spencer won't be able to compete after the actions of Todd Cortez. MALIBU And that's just what Anglesault wanted, wasn't it? Cortez getting the Heartland Title was just the dessert after the main course. Anglesault wanted an advantage, and he got it. Sure, right now we're down one guy, and going into War Games, that's no laughing matter. But, Anglesault...do you think it stops here? Do you think what happened tonight is going to stop me, or anyone on my team, or anyone else who has stood up to you these past few months, from doing it again? There's a big difference between breaking someone's neck and breaking someone's spirit. You put my friend in the hospital. So now what, you think I'm intimidated? You think I'm scared? You think I'm going to back down? Then you don't know JACK about Zack Malibu, even after all these years. Because your boys can be as cutthroat and vicious and sick and twisted as they want to, but I guarantee...I GUARANTEE YOU, that they are not ready for the hell that is going to happen within the walls of the steel cage at the Heartland Spectacular. I don't care if it's five on four, four on four, eight on three, I don't care if I have to run the god damn gauntlet against every single one of you MYSELF, you will NOT destroy what I've built. I told you before, Anglesault, it's your name on the marquee, but it's my blood, sweat and tears that built the foundation of this place. That ring has been stained red many times before, and tonight didn't push me away...it just pushed me closer to the edge. With that, Zack Malibu walks away, effectively ending the interview, and leaving Maggie wide-eyed and unsure of what to think, as Zack now seems more determined than ever to put an end to Anglesault's reign of terror.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 In the world famous and very expensive to maintain and build every show interview lounge we findMORGAN NERDLY milling about, looking rather uncomfortable. She’s soon approached by sister and sometimes tag team partner….MAGGIE NERDLY MAGGIE Wassup, Morgan?!! Morgan jumps back, frightened by Maggie’s greeting. MAGGIE Sorry, I had about ten Mountain Dews trying to stay awake through Molly’s documentary film on the migratory patterns of West Indian fire ants. I’m hella hyper today. But, wassup, big sis? What’s going on? You requested interview time, which is kind of odd for you. MORGAN I…just wanted to tell everyone…that’s I’ll be in Alix’s corner at Heartland Spectacular. MAGGIE Against Detective Bosley? MORGAN Yes. MAGGIE But, you HATE Alix. MORGAN …I know I do. But, if no one is there CPA will interfere. MAGGIE And you’re going to stop him? MORGAN …Yes. MAGGIE Morgan, you’re little! And trust me I know a few things about being little. And we little people don’t fare so hot against big dudes like CPA. MORGAN I don’t care. Christopher and Tango hurt Leon. My Leon. And…I have to show Leon how much I love him. I have to keep making them pay. Over and over and over again. MAGGIE Did he tell you that? MORGAN …Maybe. But, it doesn’t matter. If Alix beats Bosley all by herself, Leon may start to like her again so I’ve got to make sure I do my part. I’m going to corner Alix and you can’t talk me out of it! Having overheard the entire conversation an enthusiastic…ALIX MARIA SPEZIA grabs Morgan from behind and gives her a playful shake. MORGAN Let go! ALIX (ignoring Morgan) This is awesome! Me and Morgan are friends! MORGAN No we’re not! ALIX Friendo, crescendo, bendo, malendo, sendo, popendo. MAGGIE Um? ALIX Just spittin some hot rhymes. MAGGIE Yeah, but most of those things weren’t even words! ALIX You don’t need words to make a sentence. MAGGIE Um, Alix, I think you do. ALIX Quit back sassin’ me! Point is me and Morgan are going to make a great team! Yeah, things went a little screwy at Anglepalooza, and I’m a little sad no one rioted after the not guilty of police brutality verdict was reached for Bosley. MORGAN Verdict? ALIX I held court with a mouse and a bowl of shrimp scampi as a jury of my peers. Anywho, things went bad at Anglepalooza, but things are gonna go right at Heartland Spectacular. Me and Morgan are going take them down and we’re going to do it totally naked! MORGAN NO! ALIX In matching thongs! MORGAN No! ALIX In wet t-shirts? MORGAN No! ALIX Fully clothed? MORGAN YES! ALIX Booooooooring. Lookie loo, ladybug, you don’t have to worry about me stealing your man. I don’t want him! I mean, I’ll screw anything with two legs and somethings with four legs, Scooby Doo is soooooo hawt, but the last thing I wanna do is hook up with Leon. So dontcha worry! Alix gives Morgan a comforting pat on the head, which does more to aggravated her than actually relax her. Oblivious to the very last, Alix gingerly goes on her way.LATER TONIGHT OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLEJADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS LORELEI DeCENZOTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage in the STATELY Duncan family dressing room we find…MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD by herself, going over some school notes. A knock on the door interrupts her. MAYA Come in!AMBERLYN DUNCAN enters the room, nervously looking out for her elder sister. Once she’s assured Krista is nowhere to be found, she breathes a sigh of relief and enters the room. MAYA Hi, Aunt Amber! AMBERLYN Hi. What are you up to? Maya scoots over on the couch, so Amberlyn may have a seat. MAYA Alix wanted to help me with my Benjamin Franklin biography for American history so I’m correcting her notes. AMBERLYN (leaning over to read Alix’s notes) “Benjamin Franklin, or B.Frank as the blacks called him, sold school children to nazis” There weren’t even nazis back then! MAYA Read on. AMBERLYN “Time Traveling Nazis” MAYA Keep going. AMBERLYN “Time traveling Nazi goats” That girl needs every kind of help! Maya nods in a sorrowful sort of manner. AMBERLYN School is great and all, I mostly skipped it or my dad paid off my teachers to give me good grades. MAYA Funny, Alix strips for them. Even when I’m already getting an A. AMBERLYN Its about time to start thinking about life beyond highschool. MAYA I’m going to play soccer at UCLA like mom and Alix! AMBERLYN That’s great if you want to be a carbon copy of your mom. MAYA What’s wrong with that? For a mom, she’s pretty awesome. AMBERLYN Why be awesome when you can be super awesome? MAYA The “super” prefix intrigues me, please continue. AMBERLYN Super awesome means getting into all the best clubs without having to wait in line, or going to all the movie premiers you want to go to, or dating stars like Jake Gyllenhaal or Taylor Lautner, or…Justin Biber. MAYA AMBERLYN But you wouldn’t just date a star. You’d be one. Movies, TV, Music, anything you could dream of you’d be doing! MAYA But mom does all that. All that except date a sixteen year old, but Alix has the mentality of one. AMBERLYN Yeah, my sister can do all that stuff, and she does do all that stuff. But when she’s at the Oscars this month, where will you be? Sitting at home watching on TV like the rest of us. You’re being offered a chance to change that. MAYA By you? AMBERLYN No. By Anglesault. MAYA Hahahahahahahahhaha! Yeah right! You mean to tell me that bald geek who sounds like he’s having a stroke everytime he rambles is going to get me into the Oscars. He couldn’t get Mariachi into a gay bar! Hahahahahaha! You want me to join your group of idiots? No way! I’d rather French kiss Will Ferrek and he is so not hot, not even in a funny dork kind of way. If anything you and Uncle Pierce need to wake up and shape up, before hanging out with AS gets you smacked up. Amberlyn leaves the room, embarrassed and fuming as we head back to ringside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 M O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Jeers spread across the arena as Lorelei DeCenzo makes her second appearance of the show. At her side admiring the perfect body that’s encased in a pink feather mini dress is Christian Wright. The Money Honey spins around to give both Wright and the camera a better look at her jaw dropping assets. BUFFER The following contest is for the OAOAST Women’s Title and it is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes! Now making her way to the ring, being accompanied by The God Child Christian Wright, she hails from Manhattan Beach, California, she is THE MONEY HONEY LORELEI DECENZOOOOOOOOO! COLE This women’s title match has been made at the request of Jade Rodez-Duncan after Lorelei tried to persuade Spencer Reiger to get her a title match to show his loyalty still remains to The Enterprise. COACH Spencer’s a real dude and all, but he’s slippin’ lately. But, I’m looking forward to the all Enterprise tag team title match at Anglemania. Mister Moneymaker is gonna have something up his sleeve for that one. Already in rare and verbose form, Christian Wright begins lecturing referee Earl Hebner about the proper way to conduct a match. Seeing as that he’s been officiating since the ’s Hebner does not appreciate someone who was BORN in the 80s telling him how to perform his duties. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The entrance stage flashes with purple neon lights as the crowd puts out a massive cheer for the Women’s Champion! Outfitted in a cute white and purple cheerleader outfit, Jade Rodez-Duncan enthusiastically rushes out onto the stage. She fires up an already well-excited audience before slapping hands down the entrance ramp. BUFFER And now residing in Los Angeles, California, she is the prodigal daughter with the heart of gold, the OAOAST Women’s Champion, LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA…JAAADEEEE ROOOODDDEEEZZZZ DUUUNNNNCCAAAAAAN! Jade enters the ring by exuberantly leaping over the third rope. She quickly goes to the second turnbuckle and poses for the cameras of the audience. COLE You heard it here first, Jade Rodez-Duncan to team with kid sister Maya and Megan Skye at the Heartland Spectacular against Queen Esther, Sophie, and Lorelei DeCenzo. COACH That match is gonna be hot in more ways than one! DING DING DING Although he’s called for the bell, Hebner can’t quite get to officiating the contest mainly because he’s embroiled in further argument with Christian Wright. COLE This is absurd! Let the referee do his job. Hebner and Wright continue to bicker, with little sign that their argument is to stop. COACH If Hebner would just admit he knows nothing about refereeing this argument would be over. Old man just gotta be stubborn. COLE I think The God Child needs to be kicked out from ringside. He has no manager’s license to begin with. Jade is puzzled by the exchanged, and stares at the two dumbfounded. Less confused, and in fact quite pleased is Lorelei DeCenzo. Her pleasure has something to do with the fact that Hebner’s preoccupation has allowed her to remove a steel chain from her top! COLE What has Lorelei got there? Lorelei wraps the steel chain around her fist, smiling deviously as she does so. COACH It looks like a chain! The crowd urge Jade to defend herself and turn around to do so. But when she does turn around, she’s clocked in the face by Lorelei’s chained fist! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss, as Lorelei quickly ushers the chain out the ring. COLE Don’t tell me its going to end this way! Seeing Lorelei’s evil deed, Wright immediately ceases his harassment of Hebner. The official turns around to find Lorelei covering her knocked out foe. Hebner is curious and skeptical over Jade’s state and searches the ring for contraband. COLE Come on, ref, disqualify her! She hit her with a chain! COACH Nigga, why you dry snitchin’ like a bitch? You see a nigga get shot, I bet you call the cops don’t you? Ol ho ass start snitchin ass nigga. Unable to detect any sort of weaponry Hebner has no choice but to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and NEW OAOAST Women’s Champion….LORELEI DECENZO! The crowd is irate and lets Lorelei have every inch of their anger and disgust. Lorelei couldn’t care less what the crowd thinks, as she’s handed her women’s title. A tight celebratory embrace is shared with Christian Wright, who matches Lorelei’s wide smile. COLE That is just disgusting in everyway. What a terrible end to a great title reign. Backstage we find Spencer Reiger and CMJ watching this on television. Spencer has his arms folded and his face twisted into a frown. CMJ on the other hand is delighted and slaps Spencer on the back. CMJ This fhakin great, eh! Tell that girlfriend of yers to keep her eyes on the ball, huh! SPENCER Whatever. Frustrated and depressed over what just happened, Spencer sulks away. CMJ is confused over his problem and shrugs his shoulders. COLE Spencer Reiger torn between stable loyalty and girlfriend loyalty. Let's rub our penises together and talk about it.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 With Faith No More's "We Care A Lot" playing in the background we once again see Mike Rowe, guest referee of the Barnyard Invitational, standing in the middle of a pig pen. His official OAOAST referee shirt has a few splatters of what is hopefully mud, yet he seems to be in a good mood. ROWE You know since it was announced that the Dirty Jobs crew was heading to the Heartland Special we have been inundated with questions Mike pulls out a pile of folded up papers and reads the first one ROWE “Dear Mike, what the hell are you doing in professional wrestling?” Mike folds up the letter and tosses it in the mud with a smile ROWE Hey it’s a dirty business, we don’t discriminate. Next letter “Hi Mike, so if I give you 10 bucks will you appear at my son’s Show and Tell next week?” I think I would lose my SAG card if I went for less than $15 *Rim shot* ROWE Here is one, from Justice? Really that’s his name? (Shrugs his shoulders) Anyway this guy writes “Greetings Michael, what are the rules of the Barnyard Invitational?” Well Justice, if this is indeed your real name, it is very simple. You see the set at the Heartland Spectacular will feature pigs, cows, horses and other barnyard animals in a “natural setting” so to speak, mud, dirt and what not *Fart sound* ROWE Yes some of that as well. It’s simple, it is a multi-man elimination match where you get eliminated if you are thrown into one of the pens OR if you get kicked by one of the animals. So ass in the mud or hoof in the face. BARSKY (the show’s producer) How about if you get headbutted by a goat? Does that count? ROWE I don’t know Barsky, let me check my official OAOAST guide. Mike pretends to read a book ROWE Kicked is not meant to be taken literal, it can be a headbut, but-BUTT or just plain old run over and trampled in the dirt by a mad cow Mike pauses for a moment ROWE Mad cow? I think I need my shots before we do this. So in conclusion, you step in the barnyard, you avoid being knocked down by an animal or thrown into one of the pens by another wrestler and you will win loads of fabulous prizes* * (in very small print at the bottom of the screen) In this case fabulous means a $50 gift certificate to Al’s Corral restaurant, 4 Grits’N’Tits tattoos, the “Pennies in the Jar” rights and a giant trophy ROWE It's February 24th, it's the Heartland Spectacular, you'll see guys and possibly gals rolling in the mud and someone will get gored by a goat. What more could you want? Just tune in and see just how dirty OAOAST can get. *Fade* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE Right now, let's send it backstage to Maggie Nerdly. WAY back in the backstage infact, Maggie stands ready to conduct an interview, without the bright lights and the fancy set-ups. In the gloom, we can see a reluctant look on her face as she stands next to Leon Rodez and Morgan Nerdly. Sat on the floor, Leon stares down at the concrete, barely acknowledging either Nerdly. MAGGIE Yeah, thanks a lot Michael. Later on it's Leon Rodez against Pierce Duncan, so Leon, what's on your mind then? Maggie waits, expecting Leon to stand up. But he doesn't. Leon looks up at his former girlfriend until, with a frustrated sigh, she reaches down and holds the microphone down in front of him. MAGGIE (off mic) Seriously!? Not concerned with Maggie's discomfort, Leon looks back down again. LEON A lot of people, Maggie... seem to think that I'm anti-social. That I'm a little bit... miserable. That I'm a loner now. Well, there's a simple reason for that. I like to be around people that I can trust. And 'people I can trust'... is a very exclusive group. Pretty much limited to myself. See, I do hate people. People can't be trusted. People don't care about other people, they only care about themselves and what other people can do to help them. People are not worth my time. Maggie gives Morgan a look, as if to say "are you listening to this?" LEON You can't take people at their word. See, that's why I got my word in writing. As of now, I've got my shot back. I've got a guaranteed match after AngleMania, against the World Champion... in writing. All I have to do, Maggie, is show up at the Heartland Spectacular... go into that cage... and compete in War Games. MAGGIE (off mic) Along with Zack. LEON Yes, along with Zack. And I see that Alfdogg, our President... has put a little clause in the contract. That I have to fight in War Games... and I have to fight fair. Be a team player. Almost as if... people don't trust me. Ironic, isn't it? Leon leans back, forcing Maggie to move the microphone with him. LEON That's fine by me. Because I've got no intention of 'betraying' Zack, or whatever he may be worried about. I only want two things out of all this. My title shot back... and, maybe the chance to... hurt some people. Hurt some people who've hurt me. Hurt the people who laid me out and stole what was mine! Don't worry your pretty little head, Zack. I've got bigger things to seek retribution for than you. But... let me make one thing very clear. To you... to 'my' team... to everyone. I'm not doing this for you. I'm not doing this for your 'bigger picture'. I'm doing this for me. Last time I was in War Games with Zack Malibu... I almost didn't make it out again... QUOTE ("OAOAST Syndicated @ October 28th, 2006") Rodez, who rolled to the spot in between rings, is helped to his feet by Charles Robinson and Nick Patrick...but as the two referees help him to his feet, Todd Cortez, recently recovered from the School's Out, comes and snags him by the head, pulling him away from the referees... VENTURA What's HE doing? Get some control in their, Patrick! SCHIAVONE Oh no... VENTURA Holy... Cortez, in a flash, lets go of Leon alright...but not before leaping over his back and bringing him back down to earth right on the top of his head, compressing his neck and spine as he drops him on the hard surface of the two ring aprons pushed together with the RIOT ACT PLUS~! SCHIAVONE No! NO! THIS MATCH WAS OVER! THE MATCH IS OVER! VENTURA HE JUST BROKE HIS NECK, TONY! LEON I lost four months of my career. Could have been my entire career. All for a war I had no interest in... and people I made the mistake of trusting. QUOTE ("OAOAST Syndicated @ October 28th, 2006") the camera cuts back to the ring, where Rodez is slowly being slide under the ropes and onto the stretcher, as the cage is lifted off the ground. Malibu and the GPX hover over the medical staff and watch on, and fans are on their feet, checking with concern. A neckbrace is fastened to Leon's neck, and it's then that the scene fades out, leaving what should have been a night of celebration to end on a somber note. LEON I'm not that naive anymore. I don't owe anyone anything. Except myself. So, trust me, Zack... what happened last time, won't happen again. I'll fight in War Games... and I'll go to whatever lengths to make Anglesault's guys pay. But I will not break my neck for you. I won't put my career in jeopardy for anyone. My only concerns are getting in, getting some revenge... and getting out in one piece. The moment that bell rings, win lose or draw, my work is done. I'll have got what I want. All I need to do is get through War Games safely, so I can get my title shot. Noticing Maggie looking unimpressed, Leon shrugs. LEON I never said I was a team player. MAGGIE (off mic) I guess not. LEON Now, as for tonight... let me explain something. Give you a little window into my mind. See... I do hate people. But not quite equally. There's certain kinds of people I hate more than others. Not just individuals... like you. There's two kinds of people that right now, I hate more than any other. Two kinds of people I despise. Two groups of people that I want to see suffer nothing but misery and agony. The people around Anglesault, who mugged me of my title shot... and Duncans. Leon raises his eyebrows. LEON Guess that makes you the worst possible person to be right now, doesn't it, Pierce Duncan? Leon looks back down and we fade out.*COMMERCIAL BREAK* COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and we're ready for our main event, Pierce Duncan set for the biggest test of his young career and may be the wrong person, in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Not looking too worried, Pierce shoots the breeze with sister Amberlyn in the ring."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena and putting an end to the little Duncan chat. There's a mixed reaction as Leon Rodez walks out though, not the usual sea of boos you'd expect. Head down and scowling all the same, Leon stops and looks up at the young, cocky new wave of Duncans with disgust, pretty much ignoring Morgan behind him as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static."I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" BUFFER And ladies and gentlemen, on his way to the ring... being accompanied by MORGAN NERDLY! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!! Leon slowly makes his way into the ring, a cold stare for Pierce who is starting to feel a little creeped out by this point. Entering the ring Leon walks around a little, seeming eeirely calm as he takes up a position in his corner. COACH Man, I wouldn't wanna be Piercey D right about now. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and Leon stares Pierce down from the corner. Looking around not sure of what to do, Pierce slowly approaches Leon, trying to talk him into a nice, fair fight. No such luck. Leon waits until Pierce is in range, then DECKS him with an uppercut! "YYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!" COACH Wow! COLE Pierce gets levelled and here we go! Leon is anything but stoic now and puts the boots to Duncan, who wails at the abuse he's taking. As Pierce tries to get away Rodez grabs his ankles, splitting the legs and delivering a stomp that looks dangerously low. He ignores the referee's warning, stomping Pierce some more and backing him into a corner. Teeing off, right hands rock the scourge of the Duncan family, Pierce trying to put up some sort of guard but failing. COLE And if this is the kind of intensity we can expect from Leon Rodez inside War Games, is it any wonder that Zack Malibu is willing to roll the dice on him? Irish whip sends Pierce to the opposite corner of the ring. Leon follows in with a straight up clothesline, then whips him back for a crushing double knee to the chest! PIERCE Ahh! No more, no more! Pierce tries to beg off, strewn over the bottom turnbuckle. Leon answers by digging his heel into Pierce's face, to the horror of Amberlyn! COLE Well that's one way to shut Pierce up. The referee pulls Leon off of Pierce, but gets short-shrift from the vengeful Rodez. Pulling Duncan back up, Leon levels him with a forearm in the corner. And another one. He then goes for an irish whip, but Pierce reverses! Rodez hits the turnbuckles and Duncan thinks he sees his chance. But as he goes for a charge, Leon meets him in the middle and hits an Exploder Suplex!! COLE Pierce is being dominated here! COACH It's just like watching Krista. Only, you know, the opposite. Pierce wisely rolls outside, hoping to get some breathing space. But Leon is right after him and spins him around, into some hard right hands. Pierce goes staggering around ringside... *THUD!* ...introduced to the announce table head-first before getting thrown back inside. COLE How much hair product does Pierce use!? Look at the stain he left on our table! As Leon climbs back inside the ring, Pierce finally lucks out and catches him ducking through the ropes with a knee! Dazed on the apron, Leon is grabbed and hung neck-first across the top rope, whiplashing him back down to the arena floor. Pierce takes advantage of his moment's rest, checking his face is still in one piece. Meanwhile Morgan tries to help Leon back up. Leon shows his appreciation by shoving Morgan away, rolling back inside and getting stomped by Duncan. COLE Finally Pierce with the upperhand, trying to test the condition of Rodez. Pierce drops some knees to the ribs, then picks Leon back up. Scoop and a slam puts him in place for a big jumping legdrop and a cover... 1... 2... No! Pierce tees off on Leon, returning some of the fire from earlier, before hitting a vertical suplex. PIERCE What now, bro?! Huh!? C'mon Brodez! COLE Did... uh... did he just call him... "Brodez"? COACH I think he did. COLE This is... a new low in the history of this program. Off the middle rope, Pierce takes some time preening his hair and pays for it, as he misses a flying elbow! AMBERLYN It's okay, that was close! COLE ...what the hell happened to the Duncan gene pool while we weren't looking? Pierce gets up nursing his arm and pre-occupied with that, he walks into a JAB! A second! And a third! Stopping in his tracks, Leon shakes off whatever thought was in his head and drives a knee into Pierce's gut. Pierce's eyes bug out in shock at how hard he got hit and he rolls to the corner. Getting a run up from across the ring, Rodez knocks the wind out of Duncan again, this time with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! COLE Leon goes soaring! And Morgan applauding her man, to the apathy of Leon. COACH Those kids got issues. Holding his ribs, Pierce walks into a rolling sobat, which doesn't exactly help. Leon then wrings the arm and hits the SOUL DESTROYER, sending Pierce flying back across the ring! COLE I think Leon is feeling it here. With some encouragement from Amberlyn, Pierce is able to roll underneath the bottom rope. But that doesn't prove to be such a good move, as Leon grabs him before he can hit the floor. Leon drags Pierce up and feeds him through the ropes, with the facelock. COLE Uh-oh! COACH Watch the face, Pierce! Leon hovers Pierce over the mat, turning his eye over to Amberlyn... as he DRIVES Pierce down head-first!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE DOWNFALL DDT! With Pierce seemingly out, Rodez decides not to go for the pin. Instead he takes a step back and lies in wait for Pierce to get up. COLE Kick is coming here. It's going to be lights out in the club for Pierce... ...but suddenly, Leon turns as JAMES RIGGS slides into the ring! Riggs tries to catch Leon with the Spear, but Leon avoids it and tackles Riggs, pounding away with right hands! *DINGDINGDING* COLE Riggs in and the referee is going to have to throw this one out! COACH And Leon better get himself out of here while he still can! Leon pounds away on Riggs, unaware of BOSLEY and CPA heading to the ring! VICE slide in and it's four on one... odds which Leon doesn't fancy and he bails before Bosley or CPA can get a hold of him! COACH Smart move! Morgan runs over to Leon, but the fight isn't over yet if Bosley has any say about it. Bosley leaves the ring and grabs hold of Rodez by the hair... *CLUNK!* ...before going down in a heap from a leadpipe shot to the knee! COACH Hey! COLE I think Morgan just gave Leon that pipe! An equalizer! Pipe in hand, Leon manages to fend off CPA, who's smart enough to see Leon off without getting too close. CPA checks on Bosley, allowing Leon to hop the guardrail and leave through the crowd, pipe in hand just in case, with Morgan close behind. BOSLEY OW, GODDAMN IT! SON OF A BITCH! COLE Another hit and run from Leon and another escape intact. But what kind of a player will Leon Rodez be in War Games, where there's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide! COACH And notice Leon had to fight four guys off by himself. Maybe Zack's crew don't trust him after all. COLE I think that's a bit presumptious if you ask me. Leon able to escape, to live to fight another day, that day being next week in Indianapolis! War Games! The fate of the company hangs in the balance! Do not miss it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 *Extra special super duper delux segment that actually takes place hours after the main event and would end up being a DVD extra for the "Best of HeldDown January & February 2011" seven disk set For some unknown reason the OAOAST produces has decided to send a camera crew outside the arena, waiting in the pouring rain for some unknown reason. After a few seconds a French public transportation Bus pulls up next to the arena and out steps the very agitated Divine Brothers Uno and Dos, Los Conquistadors UNO Come on man we'll miss it again! DOS Wasn't my fault we missed the OAOAST shuttle, I was not the one retained in customs. UNO They call this a modern country? One man walks through the airport in a mask and it's a terrorist threat! DOS Alright, let's just make it quick; we could still make our scheduled match. The two quickly burst through the doors to the backstage area, only to be greeted by one of the OAOAST road agents AGENT Sorry guys, you were too late for the match. UNO Again? DOS It's like we are cursed or something. UNO We have not been able to make it to a show in time for MONTHS!! This is ridiculous! DOS We're going to do something about it tonight. UNO Do what? Break your neck again? DOS Hey now, uncalled for! No my plan is very simple. UNO Okay I'll bite, what is the plan. DOS You know how they often go "oh my gawd something is going on backstage, let's cut to the back"? UNO Yeah usually when someone is being atta... *lightbulb* I know what you're talking about. DOS All we've got to do is find the ring perso... Dos loses his train of thought as he sees "It" the Alien at the catering table. Tonight "It" has decided to wear what all fashionable alien naturally wear; a bright orange jumpsuit and what looks like an upside down fishbowl on his head. Since he has glass in front of his face the hot dogs he is trying to eat just end up being smeared across the glass. UNO I think I got a better idea than an attack. Uno reaches into his travel bag and pulls out a voodoo doll. UNO Why beat him up when he can beat himself up? Los Conquistadors approach "It", Dos knocks the half mashed hot dog out of “It”’s hands while Uno starts his Voodoo chants, holding the doll up in the air as he starts shaking and convulsing. DOS Keep going, you've got him under control. UNO Dang right I've got him under control! Through out the entire ritual "It" has just stood there, not really moving much, but then again he can't really see much of anything through the ketchup and mustard smears on his "space helmet". Conquistador Uno waves his hand in front of what we think is “It”’s face, getting absolutely no reaction UNO Yep totally under control. DOS EEEeeeeexcellent. I think we should have him attack Krista Duncan. UNO Let it go man, we've got to look forward, not back. Watch this. Hey It!! Yeah you, ugly guy, run into that wall. No reaction from "It" DOS Hit yourself!! No reaction from "It" UNO Pick up a hot dog, do something, anything!! No reaction from "It" DOS I think those dolls we bought were defective As Los Conquistadors turn and walk away "It" removes his helmet, then he runs into the wall *THUD* Followed by *SMACK* And then a *Sweet PICK-UP!* DOS This thing is faulty Dos grabs the doll from Uno's hand and shakes it. In the background "It" begins to violently shake back and forth as well UNO We should have bought them in Haiti, not online. Annoyed Dos makes "throwing it in the trash" motion with the doll, forcing "It" to lunge forward, crashing into Uno. UNO HEY!! Uno and Dos both put up their firsts, which includes Dos unintentionally swinging the doll in a circular motion. The motion brings up “It”’s fist, weakly striking Dos in the jaw with all the power of a cooked noodle. DOS I think this fool wants a fight. UNO I agree. You want a fight weirdo? Due to tempers flaring Dos bobs the doll up and down, making "It" nod its head. DOS Oh it is SO ON!! “It”’s hands shoot up in front of him, if he had clenched his fist it may have been threatening, but sadly the voodoo doll did not have individual fingers to accomplish this feat. DOS Okay weirdo find a partner and we'll see you in the ring!! UNO No man I got a better idea. DOS Better than appearing on TV for the first time in months? UNO Way better, making our successful return at something even better than a HeldDOWN show. DOS The Heartland Spectacular? UNO You know it. But honestly, he attacked me first, I should wrestle him in a singles match. DOS What? And cut me out? UNO You'll be coming with me of course, but if we allow him to bring any partner he wants... well... DOS What? UNO Maybe... well maybe *SHE* will show up again, can you afford to risk your neck like that? DOS Good point, I will be your Bobby Heenan. I mean how can we possibly lose?? Neither Conquistador notices that "It" just kinda stands there, head hanging to the side like a zombie, just waiting. Then again it's the most normal "It" has ever acted so they are excused. The two masked men walk off, laughing as they both brag about how bad they will hurt "It" at the PPV. The Alien does not move until Los Conquistadors turn the corner, breaking the spell of the voodoo doll. Once the spell is broken "It" begins rubbing his right hand like it was hurting from weakly slapping Uno. Irony just got a new definition, after trying in vain to posses people Los Conquistadors do not realize they actually succeeded this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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