Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZABOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! The view goes straight to Double C at Sofa Central, but only Cole has on his Anglemania Ten football jersey as tonight Da Coach is dressed like Mr. Fuji complete with cane and hat. COLE Konichiwa from Toyko, Japan. Michael Cole alongside COACH FUJI~! COACH Ah, thank you very much. *devious laugh* The camera pans out to show Jason Silver and…KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN sitting beside Double C. COLE We'd also like to welcome OAOAST World Champion Jason Silver and four time world champion Krista Isadora Duncan to Sofa Central for our opening match. SILVER Yeah, just f’n wonderful. KRISTA Believe me, honey, the only reason you’re not dead is because they confiscated that machete at the airport. I blame you, Cole. COLE You wanted me to hide it up my BUTT. KRISTA You’ve put stranger things up there, I’m sure. “Slither” rolls out the speakers, bringing the Tokyo audience to their feet! From the gigantic snake’s head with flaming eyes comes The Orange County Cobras, led by Molly Nerdly! The two men head down to the ring, with the smiling Nerdly girl waving to the audience. BUFFER The following is an Anderson Cup contest in the Morrisson Bracket with the winner heading to the conference finals to meet Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright! Now making their way to the ring, from Orange County, California, they are led by Molly Nerdly, Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton, THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAAAAAASSSSSSS!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” SILVER Uncle Sault is a great judge of talent because he hired these two great tag wrestlers, but he must be a bad judge of intelligence because he didn’t forsee that they’d be stupid enough to oppose him. KRISTA You call him Uncle Sault? What do you call his wife? Aunt Pepper? That’s the last time I let Terry write my jokes. One day I’ll settle on James Riggs’ entrance music. Today might be that day. Cue Depeche Mode’s Wrong. There's something wrong with me chemically Something wrong with me inherently The wrong mix in the wrong genes I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means It was the wrong plan In the wrong hands The wrong theory for the wrong man The wrong eyes on the wrong prize The wrong questions with the wrong replies Sauntering from the parted entrance doors is the mangy, dishelved James Riggs. A defiant and strong Riggs foist his arms out to his side, as the entrance stage flickers rapidly with blue and white lights. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! First from Long Beach, California, he is BAD OL JR…..JAAAAMMESSSSSS RIIIIIGGGGGSSSSS! SILVER The man who beat Zack Malibu cleanly! One-two-three! Can you say that, Krista? KRISTA I can say it three times. Think before you open your mouth and expose the world to not only your moronic thoughts but your rancid dick breath as well. SILVER Dickbreath?! KRISTA Some people might find your incestuous leanings towards Uncle Anglesault to speak towards a society of open love without boundaries. I just think it’s a third rate story on Literotica.com. Riggs comes to a complete stop at the bottom of the entrance ramp, and points with an amused expression to the vacant stageHere’s the situation Been to every nation Nobody has ever made me feel the way that you do You know my motivation given my reputation Please excuse me I don’t mean to be rude But, tonight I’m fucking you A large DJ Turntable bearing the Israeli and Italian flags slides onto stage. Standing next to it, looking as sexy as only a Duncan girl can is Amberlyn Duncan. Behind the turntables, mixing Enrique Igelsias’ Tonight is The Result Pierce Duncan! Piercey D gets down on the ones and twos, before high fiving his baby sister and heading to the ring. BUFFER And his partner, from Los Angeles, California, he is accompanied by Amberlyn Duncan, THE RESULT PIERCEEEEEEEEE DUUUNNNCAAAAAAANNNNNN! SILVER Now here comes a true soldier in every sense of the word. KRISTA I wasn’t aware soldier meant despairing macho guido goofball accompanied by baby sister best known not for being the sister of a world renowned celebrity but for flashing every club bouncer in the greater LA area to get into a club she’ll be kicked out of twenty minutes later for throwing her shoe at Kristin Cavalari. Blanchard leans over the ropes to talk trash to the approaching heels. This proves to be an unwise idea as Riggs grabs onto his boots and drags him out the ring. This gives him the chance to join Piercey D in pounding on Blanchard. KRISTA Ned hasn’t had his ass handed to him this hard since the time he told me wanted to try it rough in bed. Most men would be thankful to have Askmen.com’s most desirable woman riding their pied piper, and wouldn’t mind that she’s choking them with a tie. Simon isn’t one to let his partner go into battle alone, and slides out the ring to confront his foes. He clotheslines Piercey D to the ground, and then proceeds to mount him in order to nail him with hard punches. KRISTA And “The Result” hasn’t had his ass handed to him this hard since I caught him going through my underwear drawer when he was in fifth grade. Simon notices out the corner of his eye that Riggs intends on crashing Blanchard’s face into the steel posts. Thusly, Singleton breaks away from Pierce in order to attack J.Riggs. The Long Beach native is nailed with chop after chop after chop, that pushes him all the way across the outside area. Not letting up in the slightest, Singleton throws Riggs into the steel steps. This draws the ire of Amberlyn, but Simon warns her off. SILVER That’s not how you treat a woman. KRISTA As if you’ve ever been with one, Virgin Mary. Singleton dumps Riggs back into the ring, leading the bell to be rung. COLE Finally, we’re underway. KRISTA Finally? So all that brawling outside was just croquet practice? Gotcha, honey. Riggs has backed himself into the corner, and Simon follows suit. But J.Riggs lashes out with an elbow that wards BOSS away. Riggs grabs onto his jet black hair and uses it to bash Simon’s head into the ring posts. After this grows tiresome, J.Riggs winds up with a big knife edge chop. But he misses and falls into the corner! COACH Get outta there J.Riggs! SILVER Try to be calm, Coachman, J.Riggs has things under control. Riggs is lit up by a knife edge chop! COLE Or maybe he doesn’t! SILVER Who asked you to talk? KRISTA Who asked you to be born? Oh yes that’s right, Satan did. BOSS attempts to whip Riggs into the ropes, but finds his hold reversed. This is of no consequence to the Cobra as he merely comes back to mow down J.Riggs with a lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the crowd delights as Simon is fired up! Simon picks Riggs up by his mangy blond hair and throws him into the ropes. He makes the costly mistake of lowering his head, which allows Riggs to kick him in the face. With Simon stunned, Riggs lifts him into the air and carries him to the corner to place him onto the second rope. Riggs smashes BOSS chest with knife edge chops, causing the sold out audience to WHOO~! in response. But Riggs suddenly becomes distracted by Molly, and leans over the ropes to insult the innocent young lady. COLE That’s not how you get a date. SILVER All J.Riggs does is snap his fingers and the ladies come running. KRISTA Prostitutes tend to do that after you pay them. SILVER You’ve got a smart mouth for someone that got made to eat crow at Anglepalooza. Riggs turns back to BOSS and gets nailed with a leaping elbow strike from the former tag team champion! As the crowd cheers a pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! Amberlyn puts Riggs’ foot on the ropes. KRISTA I wish I had something good to say about my sister Amberlyn. But daddy said if you’re going to lie it should only be in front of congress or a jury of your peers. Simon scoops up Riggs from the canvas. But before he can do anything, Riggs rakes his grey eyes. This allows the Long Beach native to escape his corner and tag The Result into the contest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Result doesn’t seem to notice the negative reaction as a smirk appears on his face. He gets that dirt off his shoulder, looks from side to side approvingly, then slowly steps into the ring. KRISTA I hate people who turn a wrestling match into a big theatrical production! COLE and COACH The Result grabs hold of BOSS’ arm and shoots him into the ropes. Piercey D fires off an impressive spin kick, only to catch nothing but air as BOSS had hooked onto the cables. Singleton then charges in, catching a boot upon his arrival. The Result leaps into the air for an enziguri, but misses entirely! He then turns around and his caught with side elbow from the Cobra. BOSS then retreats to his corner and makes the tag to Ned. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans rejoice, led on by Molly. SILVER I made this guy tap out also. All that’s left is for me to make Maya tap out to complete the trifecta. KRISTA Well, honey, I guess you’re okay with staring down the wrong end of the shotgun. Ned hurls The Result into the ropes. Upon returning Piercey D is caught in the chin with a textbook dropkick from The Handsome Hustler. Ned pops to his feet and targets Riggs with several cruel comments. COLE No love lost between these two teams. The Orange County Cobras were on the front lines when Anglesault invaded. SILVER You can’t invade a company that you founded and bears your name. Blanchard turns his attention back to Piercey D who is begging off in the corner. The Handsome Hustler merely shakes his head and then goes on to terrorize Pierce with stomps. The Result gags and wheezes, and pleads with Ned to give him a break. COLE Does The Result have any professional integrity? Blanchard grabs hold of Piercey D and attempts to whip into the corner. However, Pierce reverses the hold and its Ned who smacks against the turnbuckle posts. This is cause for great celebration for Pierce and he busts out the GUIDO FIST PUMP~! KRISTA Shaking my motherfucking head. Away goes Pierce, charging in on The Handsome Hustler. But as he leaps into the air for a body splash, Ned takes him out the skies with a big time spine buster! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A pinfall is then made…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! PIERCE KICKED OUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” SILVER Doesn’t anyone in the OAOAST Galaxy know how to count correctly? That was an obvious two count. KRISTA Remove the o from the word count and you get exactly what you are. SILVER Don’t make me hurt you. Not with your kids watching. Blanchard applies the tag to long time running buddy, Box Office Simon Singleton. Together they stun The Result with a pair of punches. Out on his feet, Pierce isn’t able to stop The Cobras from nailing him with a pair of enziguris! COLE Code of the Cobras! Singleton hooks Pierce’s leg as Blanchard escapes the ring… ONE! TWO! J.Riggs breaks up the pinfall with a boot to BOSS’ head. This draws the ire of the Tokyo crowd, but Singleton prefers to stay focused on Piercey D. He scoops up Pierce and tries to hurl him into the ropes. But Pierce shifts his weight and reverses the move. Singleton bounces off the ropes, and Pierce’s uses his momentum to throw him over the opposite cables near Riggs! But Singleton lands on his boots to the relief of Molly and the Japanese audience. Frustrated, Piercey D marches over to Singleton, but is slammed in the midsection with a shoulder block. This causes Riggs to spring into action and he tries to attack Singleton. However, BOSS fends him off. The Cobra turns back around to get a hold of Pierce. But, Pierce knocks him off the ring apron with a leaping kick! COLE Down goes Simon Singleton! SILVER Down goes the Orange County Cobra’s hopes of advancing through this tournament. While Pierce recovers from a move as simple as a shoulder tackle, Riggs gets to work. He grabs Simon by his pitch black hair and guides him upright. He roughly drags him across the outside area to the announce table. Seconds later, Simon is slung across Sofa Central! COACH Woah! SILVER Nice. My Uncle calls that being aggressive no matter who gets victimized. Continuing to display the aggression Anglesault demands, J.Riggs grabs Singleton and yanks him into a head scissors. COLE He’s going to piledrive him to the outside! Krista, do something! KRISTA Why don’t you do something? COLE I’m gay! KRISTA So am I! Thankfully, Ned Blanchard is straight and can do something. He runs across the outside area to lariat Riggs off his best friend! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Tokyo delights along with Molly. Referee Earl Hebner backs away Ned, much to Handsome Hustler’s annoyance. SILVER Hebner needs to make sure that animal is under control. Piercey D takes advantage of Singleton’s wounded state, by nailing him with a procession of stomps. He smiles widely to the audience, who respond with hatred and disgust. While he continues to grin, he dumps BOSS back into the squared circle. After following him inside, a pin is made…. ONE! Kickout! After having a few words with the referee over the count, Piercey D applies the tag to J.Riggs. Upon entering the ring, Riggs picks Simon up and sends him into the ropes. After bouncing back, BOSS is caught within a sleeper hold by the former US champion. “LET’S GO SIMON! LET’S GO SIMON! LET’S GO SIMON!” the fans immediately get behind Singleton’s cause. Singleton waves his hands, and twists his body, a furious effort to break free of the submission. In response Riggs tightens the hold, and turns on Singleton’s neck. PIERCE You got this one, homie! Its all yours! Contrary to Pierce’s beleift, its not all Riggs’ as Singleton counters the hold with a stunner! As the fans cheer the escape, Riggs rolls away to the corner to tag in The Result. Piercey D makes another overly theatrical entrance into the contest that’s applauded by no one except Amberlyn. SILVER Krista, you’ve got a big mouth. You need to be humble now that you’ve been proven only to be second best in this fed. You need to be modest like your brother and sister. COLE Those two are modest?! Pierce makes a sudden charge at BOSS, but Singleton counters with his trademark Blockbuster Hold! SILVER Damn it. COLE Simon Singleton nailed his move and would be well served in making the tag in this Anderson Cup contest here on HeldDOWN~! from Tokyo, Japan! Singleton and The Result make slow and painful crawls to their corner. On the outside Molly and Amberlyn root on their charges, trying to will them to their respective partners. Their support breeds success as both men reach their corners to make tags! COACH Its on! Riggs runs at Blanchard with a lariat, but Blanchard ducks the attack. JR swings around and is given a one finger salute by The Handsome Hustler! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Pierce charges in to attack Blanchard! But, Ned ducks his approach and Pierce connects with his partner. SILVER Get back to gameplan, men! KRISTA Gameplan for these two idiots is figuring out which one will spectacularly embarrass humanity to the alien species that Alix claims watches this show from outer space. Pierce BEGS OFF~! from being slaughtered by the much stronger Blanchard. It doesn’t work. The Handsome Hustler brutally assails him with powerful punches before nailing the Angel’s Venom (sleeper suplex)! The fans explode with glee as Molly eagerly claps on the outside! COLE This one is over! Not exactly as Bohemoth enters the ring! COLE What is he doing here? But Big Bo is followed inside by Bruce Blank! The two begin a wild war, slugging it out in the center of the ring! COLE This is madness! Blanchard joins in the fight for Bruce Blank, as J.Riggs takes Bo’s side. Mere seconds later, Todd Cortez and Shayne Brave add in their combative two cents! With all order lost, Hebner has no choice but to call for the bell! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen: this contest has been ruled a double disqualification! COLE What?! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE This means The Enterprise has automatically advanced to the Anderson Cup finals at The Heartland Spectacular! The brawl continues into the ring, neither side able to gain an advantage over the other but each side swinging as fiercely and ferociously as they possibly can. Singleton and Piercey D have recovered, adding to sheer insanity of the fight. SILVER Come on! Get those bast- Silver is sucker punched by Krista! COACH That’s the champ! You can’t hit him like that! The former champion SLAPS Coach upside the head, before vacating Sofa Central. She makes a speedy entrance into the ring, where she’s accosted by Bohemoth. The Big man swings a lariat at her, that she effortlessly ducks. Unfortunatley it connects with Bruce Blank and sends him tumbling out the ring. Krista gains some revenge for BB when she nails Bo with a KIDoloy! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Elsewhere Todd Cortez and Shayne Brave spill to the outside, while The Cobras double team James Riggs. This leaves sister and brother to do battle. Pierce tries to play up the family bond, insisting that members of the same family shouldn’t dare to fight one another. “KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS!” Krista never gets the chance to lay a single hand on her younger brother, as Jason Silver clubs her from behind with the world title! COLE That sneaky punk! In a scene right out of Anglepalooza, Silver begins whipping Krista with the world title. Emboldened by the fact that Krista is down and beaten, Piercey D levels a barrage of insults and taunts upon his big sister. Silver screams his own threats and curses as he continues to pummel Krista with his world title. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Alix runs down the ramp with lacrosse stick in hand! But she’s unable to reach her battered girlfriend thanks to Bosley clotheslining her from behind. BOSLEY ITS BOSLEY TIME, BITCHES! With that trademark cry, Bosley begins stomping defenseless Alix on the ramp. COLE Bosley is just going to town on Alix! Back inside in the ring, Silver has locked Krista into the 16th Minute! SILVER Tap! Tap! Taaaaaaaaap! Silver torques on the hold, causing as much damage as he possibly can with the deadly finisher. He continues to bark orders for Krista to submit, but Miss California refuses to follow these demands. Finally a gaggle of referees and backstage officals flood the battleground to break apart the combatants. This allows Krista to breathe slightly easier, as Silver is dragged away from her. He spits bile and rage at her as he’s barely held back by the officials. COLE Silver wants a piece of Krista's BUTT! COACH So does every other red blooded American male! A fuming Silver finally manages to break free of the referees and runs back at Krista. However, he never reaches her as number one contender to the world title Zack Malibu spears him to the ground! Malibu rains down punches upon Silver's face, as the champion does the same to his Anglemania title challenger. COLE Its pandemonium on HeldDOWN~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage in the stately and spacious Enterprise dressing room we find...SPENCER REIGER in a chat with...LORELEI DECENZO REIGER Teddy doesn’t return phone calls, e-mails, texts, facebook posts, I couldn't even get a cold shoulder from him if he was -32 degrees faranheit. And when we’re in the arena he'll speak to everyone of you guys before me. He'd even talk to Mariachi before he talks to me. And Mariachi is Mexican. And gay! LORELEI We reap what we sow in this world, isn't that how the expression goes? REIGER What does that mean? LORELEI It means, Dear Spencer, that you've laid the seeds for discontent now the flowers of fury and rage have grown. You and you alone are responsible for why Teddy won't talk to you. REIGER What did I do? I mean, really? LORELEI Does that question really need to be asked? REIGER Teddy spends the better part of five years trynna get into Krista's pants and that’s okay. I start a relationship with one of his daughters and all of a sudden its like there's a five alarm blaze! LORELEI Are you daring to call Teddy a hypocrite? REIGER I'm calling this whole thing bullshit! LORELEI Settle down. I could help you get back into Teddy's good graces. REIGER That would be excellent! LORELEI But, I'm not sure I trust you. Let us say there was a number one contender's match between Krista and Teddy, Colin's run out, Christian has run out, Alix has run out, Shayne has run out and a brawl has ensued. You're the only one who hasn’t come out. When you do come out, who's side do you take? REIGER Don't question my loyalty to The Enterprise, Lorelei. LORELEI Prove why I shouldn’t. REIGER How? LORELEI Simple. Convince your little girlfriend to give me a women's title shot. That’s all you have to do, and I'll trust to your loyalty. We quickly cut to the equally lavish Duncan family dressing room to findMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD eagerly pointing at the TV screen that's watched by her andJADE RODEZ-DUNCAN MAYA BAM! Right there! JADE Right there, what? MAYA Right there! You can see he's just using you for your connections and your title. JADE How do we see that? MAYA Well, he certainly isn't using you for sex, because frankly I don't think you know a whole lot about that subject. JADE Excuse me? MAYA How come whenever we watch Animal Planet and the tigers are humping, you go "Oh no they're fighting!" JADE Whatever! I trust that he's not using me, even if you refuse to. And you know what else, I’m going to go ahead and give Lorelei the title shot. Maybe I can beat some sense into her. MAYA You couldn't beat the black into Lucius Soul. Luckily, I’ve already used my feminine charms- JADE Your what?! MAYA To get booked us into a six gal match at the Heartland show, me, you, and Megan against Queen Esther, Sophie, and whoever they chose to get her BUTT whupped by us. JADE Why'd you do that? MAYA Better than setting you up to lose your title, like "Dear Spencer". JADE You know what, you are working my last nerve now... "Woah woah woah!" Having been sat quietly at the back of the room, hoping not to be dragged into this situation whatsoever, Tyler Bryant and Shayne Brave are forced to jump up and step in between the two bickering sisters before a scrap can break out. SHAYNE Just chill, okay? MAYA I'm plenty chill. Because I'm right. You saw the same thing as me, back me up here. Tyler and Shayne look at each other. JADE Oh come on. You guys don't seriously agree with her, do you? Tyler and Shayne look at each other. Again. JADE and MAYA (together) Well? Not wanting to take sides, Tyler and Shayne refuse to be drawn. SHAYNE Uh uh. Don't start making us take sides here. TYLER Yeah, we've got a match to concentrate on. You can talk about this later. Maya and Jade still seem to have plenty to say, but save it and crisis is averted, for now, to D*LUX's relief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 After a commercial break we return to Cole and Coach at Sofa Central COLE You know recently the Internet community has been all buzzing abo- COACH Japanese Tentacle Porn!! COLE Well.. Yes but that's nothing new. I am talking about the OAOAST Galaxy talking about this for the last couple of weeks. COACH I still think tentacle porn applies then. COLE (Ignoring Coach) Now certain companies are trying to hire one or two Mexican's to cater to the Latino community. Well OAOAST went one better COACH Wait, wait, wait! We gave them Mariachi, is that not more than enough? COLE No way Coach, instead of hiring ONE Mexican OAOAST went out and bought M.I.L.L.F. COACH All right MILF!! I am down with that, I draw the line at GMILF... well perhaps Great Grand Mothers I'd Like to… COLE WHOA!! No I am talking about the OAOAST buying the Mexican promotion "Mexico's International Lucha Libre Federation" COACH So… no actual MILF? COLE Not until Chicks over Dicks show up! To showcase our newest acquisition we have brought in one of Mexico's most knowledgeable wrestlers, second generation star Dr. Lucha, Jr. COACH Who?? Coach looks confused as a man wearing a red and black mask, sporting a MILLF T-shirt and his right arm in a cast joins the team at Sofa Central Dr. Lucha, Jr. Buenos Dias, it is a pleasure to be here. COLE I should explain to the OAOAST Galaxy that your arm is in a cast due to a grueling match in MILLF only a few weeks ago COACH Oh I got it Cole *Winks* Good cover for him getting shot at while crossing the border Dr. Lucha, Jr. Excuse me Cooch?? COACH That's "Coach" Dr. Lucha, Jr. Not from where I am sitting. I must apologize for not fulfilling your stereotypes, I actually speak English without much of an accent, I am here legally and no I do not drink tequila. COACH Do you do lawns though? Dr. Lucha, Jr. I should strike you down where you sit, but given my skin color I would probably end up on death row for that. COLE Dang Coach someone played the "Race Card" on you!! I think we should go to the ring for this match BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, Seniors and Senioritis Dr. Lucha, Jr. groans at Michael Buffer's horrible Spanish pronunciation. BUFFER Introducing first from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at.... *Mumbles something to cover up the fact that he forgot his notes in the back* this is the JUICE... ehh EL JUUUUUUUUEZ!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. Oh that is just great, "the Juice", give me a break. COACH Hey they run Hollywood, don't knock them! While Dr. Lucha, Jr. groans and Coach misunderstands everything he possibly can a wrestler dressed mostly in black, wearing a horned, black mask makes his way to the ring to a limited reaction. Dr. Lucha, Jr. At least some of these Japanese fans know who he is, that is what happens when your whole word does not end at the border. COLE Yes... COACH ... Dr. Lucha, Jr. Don't have a clue do you? COLE Nope, no idea who this guy is, sorry. Dr. Lucha, Jr. This is El Juez, also known as the Judge in English, one of the most brutal Luchadors in MILLF! Un Rudo mas rudissimo! El Juez climbs up on the apron, and then jumps up on the top rope to flip into the ring. BUFFER And his opponent, from somewhere in Mexico, coming to the ring with Bribon, this is THEEEEEE CAMELEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. El Camaleón! His name is El Camaleón! My god this man is incompetent!! COLE That never stopped anyone working from for OAOAST up until now. COACH Exactly, I mean Cole still gets a paycheck. The crowd does not now exactly what to expect from El Camaleón, but the sound of the disco version of the Star Wars theme was probably NOT what they had in mind. COLE The heck? Dr. Lucha, Jr. El Camaleón is a little... different Smoke starts to fill the aisle as a single spotlight focuses on the entrance in anticipation. After a few moments a short figure emerges from the smoke, the figure is wearing a brown robe and carrying a walking stick COACH What the *BEEP*??? The crowd is not entirely sure what to think as they realize that the shorter figure is wearing a Yoda mask. Half way down the aisle he stops and points to the entrance with his cane. A taller figure appears, gliding through the smoke like a black shadowy figure. Once the spotlight hit him he throws the cape over his shoulder revealing a Darth Vader mask and a black and white full body suit underneath. COLE This is a joke right? Dr. Lucha, Jr. Joke? You are looking at one of the most popular wrestlers in Mexico COLE Darth Vader? Dr. Lucha, Jr. Of course it's not Darth Vader, he's called El Camaleón, it's his thing... the whole camouflage thing. COACH You know I bet he would actually blend right in walking around downtown Tokyo City. COLE Good point Coach (Sarcasm is apparently lost on Michael Cole) Once both El Camaleón and his diminutive pal Bribón are up on the apron they break into a quick dance routine, drawing inspiration from both the Funky Chicken and epileptic seizures one only experiences after watching Japanese cartoons. During the dance El Camaleón removes the long cape and the plastic Darth Vader mask to reveal his regular more lizard inspired mask underneath it. Dr. Lucha, Jr. All right the captains of the team are in the ring, bring out the rest COLE Rest? What are you talking about? Dr. Lucha, Jr. Well naturally this is a Trios match right? COACH That may be how it works in Me-hi-co buddy, but this is the good old US-of-A COLE Actually it is Japan Coach Dr. Lucha, Jr. *Annoyed* I was told this would be a Lucha Libre showcase COLE It is, they're both Mexican and they are both masked. What more do you need? Dr. Lucha, Jr. tries his best to not curse on air and instead just sits there, quietly fuming. DING! DING! DING! While El Juez tries to go for a lock up El Camaleón ducks under his opponents outstretched arms and trips him up. El Juez quickly gets back up on his knees and looks really annoyed as El Camaleón does a victory lap in the ring, celebrating the takedown. Juez gets back to his feet and tries to lock up once more, but El Camaleón ducks under the arms and then kicks El Juez in the ass. COACH Wow this certainly is some highflying action Dr. Lucha, Jr. You know there is more to Lucha Libre than masked men flipping and flopping all over the place. COACH No I don't think so, and may I remind you that I am American so I am automatically more of an authority on anything than someone who is NOT American. After being foiled by El Camaleón twice El Juez decides to change tactics, instead of trying to lock up he raises his right hand in the air, inviting his opponent to a test of strength. At first El Camaleón is hesitant to take the challenge, but El Juez does the sign of the crucifix swearing he is not going to cheat COLE Vintage Old School classic COACH I think you just made everyone dumber Dr. Lucha, Jr. *mumbles* as if that is even possible. After mulling it over El Camaleón finally goes for the test of strength, but instead of keeping his promise, El Juez kicks Camaleón in the gut, then quickly grabs his opponent's mask and twists it sideways so that El Camaleón is unable to see anything. El Juez steps back as El Camaleón swings blindly with both lefts and rights. El Juez lines up El Camaleón and with a running start drives his knee into Camaleón's back. COLE Whoa face first into the turnbuckles!! COACH Maybe that's why he wears the mask, too many face-plants Just as he is about to pounce on El Camaleón once more, El Juez is interrupted by Bribón jumping up on the apron waving the cane at El Juez. COACH Oh look the Gibbon is on the apron Dr. Lucha, Jr. That is Bribón, it means "Rascal", did you not learn anything in school? COACH Of course I did, I learned to sit next to the smart kids during a test. Bribón distracts El Juez, then turns around to rally the crowd, getting them to clap for El Camaleón. El Juez grins maliciously then proves how much of a prick he is by kicking Bribón off the apron with a sliding drop kick. CRASH!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He kick was so vicious that the diminutive wrestler flew clear off the apron and crashed into the guardrail COLE Oh lord I hope we do not get sued, is midget tossing illegal in Japan? COACH Ah don't worry you have to be at least "this high" to sue bwa, ha, ha, ha! Dropkicking El Camaleón's companion off the apron awoke the Japanese crowd who boos El Juez.. With Bribón out of the way El Juez runs to the ropes, jumps off the middle rope on one side of the turnbuckle followed by a Moonsault style flip off the top rope on the other side of the apron CRACK!! El Camaleón moved out of the way at the last moment, sending El Juez crashing to the group. El Camaleón quickly adjusts his mask so he can see again, before climbing up on the middle rope. When El Juez gets to his feet he quickly rushes in, only to taste the bottom of El Camaleón's boot. COLE Springboard Arm drag!! With a swift flick of the arm El Camaleón leaps off the ropes, throwing El Juez halfway across the ring. When El Juez tries to slide backwards out of the ring to get out of harm's way he ends up crotching himself on the ring post COACH What is that mad-man doing?? Oh no, no, no Coach, Cole and the rest of the male audience groans in sympathy as El Camaleón drop kicks El Juez in the face, driving the Rudo's rude parts into the steel post. Camaleón notices Bribón down on the floor and quickly leaves the ring to help his little buddy out. COLE Good to see that chivalry is not dead COACH What are you talking about? Chivalry? It's not like he offered to help a tired woman by holding her boobs Dr. Lucha, Jr. Really? This is what I have to work with? this is the best they could do? Back in the ring El Juez has recovered from the ring post pounding, looking to take advantage of Camaleón being on the floor by runs at the ropes. At the last moment El Camaleón ducks out of the way, forcing El Juez to put on the brakes before leaping onto the concrete floor. Camaleón quickly reaches in and trips up El Juez, then leaps up on the apron. COLE Here we go, Slingsho... NO!! El Camaleón hits nothing but mat as El Juez rolls out of the way. Juez grabs Camaleón by the mask and drags him back to his feet. Taking advantage of El Camaleón's groggy condition El Juez quickly picks him up and holds him upside down in a tombstone position Dr. Lucha, Jr. El Marinete!! And he can get away with it too; this is it!! But it is actually not quite it, instead of just taking the tombstone pile driver like a good little lamb El Camaleón fights back, trying to push out of the move. He manages to gain enough leverage to push El Juez over backwards, allowing him to land on his feet and reverse roles so that he has El Juez up in the tombstone position. A split second later Camaleón drive's El Juez's skull into the mat. Dr. Lucha, Jr. Well he takes the first fall, El Juez still has a fighting chance in the last two falls. ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER The winner of the match EL CAMALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOON!! Dr. Lucha, Jr. What? First fall you idiot, not the match. COLE What are you talking about? it's a one-fall match Dr. Lucha, Jr. stands up and throws his headset down in disgust as he makes his way to the ring. Once at ringside Dr. Lucha, Jr. reaches in and pulls the referee out of the ring. After taking Buffer's microphone from him, he rolls into the ring to address the crowd. Dr. Lucha, Jr. What the hell is this? Is this some sort of joke?? While his facial expressions are concealed by his mask Dr. Lucha, Jr.'s body language reveals the frustrations of the guest commentator. Dr. Lucha, Jr. One fall?? Singles match?? I should have known better... It's a joke right? We were brought here to be a joke like every other Mexican out there. I am surprised neither of them came in on a riding mower COLE That's been done before COACH That's right, OAOAST prides itself on originality. Dr. Lucha, Jr. This is pathetic, this.... this "Lucha Showcase" is nothing but a disgrace, a disgrace to Lucha Libre, to Mexico and to ME! If this is a joke I am not laughing. From the first moment I should have realized this was a huge joke. I mean they rename Federacion Internacional de Lucha Libre to "Mexico's International Lucha Libre Federation", or MILLF, when they bought it. Yeah I get the pun and I don't think it is funny. This is LUCHA LIBRE!! It's not funny!! El Camaleón approaches Dr. Lucha, Jr. after listening to his rant for a moment or two Camaleón Be chilled Esse Dr. Lucha, Jr. *In a mock Mexican accent* Chumon Esse! *Normal voice* do you really think we ALL talk like that? Camaleón Si, I do talk like that Dr. Lucha, Jr. You also dress like a lizard; you are hardly the measuring stick While El Camaleón's demeanor has been laid back until now the insult seems to make him take it a bit more serious. Camaleón Don't throw a tantrum, remove the branch from your ass Dr. Lucha, Jr. *Sigh* that's "Stick", not "Branch", you are making us look like idiots. Camaleón Ah Taco, Ta-co, same thing While the two luchadors have gone back and forth on the microphone El Juez has recovered enough to jump El Camaleón from behind, knocking him down to the ground. Dr. Lucha, Jr. You think this is a joke "Esse"?? *kick* I ain't laughing *Kick* You don't look so funny now either *Kick* Both Dr. Lucha and El Juez stomps on El Camaleón while the crowd boos COLE Looks like you drove another commentator over the edge Coach COACH Meh, I think that was a very short drive. El Juez drags Camaleón into the corner while Dr. Lucha, Jr. gets a chair from the floor. After propping El Camaleón up in the corner Dr. Lucha, Jr. places the chair on Camaleón's chest while El Juez goes to the opposite corner. COLE Oh no, no I don't think they have health insurance in Mexico!! Just as El Juez begins to run across the ring, clearly aiming to kick the chair in El Camaleón's face, three masked wrestlers in identical outfits runs to the ring and quickly drags El Camaleón out of the ring. COLE According to the notes I were given those guys are called Los Cadetos del Espacio COACH All Mexicans look like space cadets if you ask me, The yellow and the pink Cadetos helps Camaleón to the back while the blue Cadeto protects them with the steel chair they took from the ring. Dr. Lucha, Jr. Yeah you better run!! Lucha Libre is no joke; we will not be treated like this!! Our Mexican heritage will not be suppressed so easily. We will not be made into a joke! LUCHA LIBRE IS NOT FUNNY! COLE El Camaleón is certainly not laughing now Dr. Lucha, Jr. Next week... next week we will show you a TRUE Lucha Libre showcase, not some bastardized, americanized version of it!! And on that note we head to a commercial break.HEARTLAND SPECTACULAR FEBRUARY 24 LIVE ON TSM & THE PIT IN CANADA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage in the world famous interview lounge… We find…DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY with iPod playing, headphones on, and lips singing Top 40 hits. BOSLEY (singing) Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world! Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love! Like I’m the only one who knows your heart! Only girl in the world! Like I’m the only one that’s in command! Unnoticed by Bosley is…MAGGIE NERDLY trying to get an interview. MAGGIE Uh, dude? BOSLEY (singing) Cause I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man! MAGGIE Dude? BOSLEY (singing) Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world! MAGGIE (ripping off Bosley’s headphones) DUDE! BOSLEY MAGGIE BOSLEY What the shit do you want? Who the hell do you think you are interrupting Big Bosley Alpha Male of The Group? WOOF! WOOF! MAGGIE Uh, its an interview lounge, and I’m the interviewer. Why were you singing Rihanna in front of the camera so millions of viewers world wide could see the so called Alpha Male of the group could see you dancing to music that’s on my, the not so alpha male’s, iPod? BOSLEY I wasn’t singing Rihanna! MAGGIE Sorry, homie, but I think you were. BOSLEY Kiss my cracker ass, short stack! That was Metallica! MAGGIE I’m sure Metallica’s library consist of songs pleading to be treated and screwed like a woman. BOSLEY Get out of my face! MAGGIE You’re the one who asked for interview time! Don’t get mad cause you were busy being American Idol when you got it! BOSLEY Yeah, I did demand interview time. And you’re lucky, you’re under twenty one, because I have a policy about smacking hos under twenty one! They’re to stupid to know their mouth’s are only good for being semen receptacles and not for offering their unwanted opinion! I got inspired this Superbowl weekened by Ben Rothelsberger. So what he lost? He’s a winner in the book of the Alpha Male because he goes hard on these hos! These hos ain’t actin’ right, Big Ben shoots a fair one with ‘em, and sets those bitches straight. Big Ben stays putting hos in their place just like the Alpha Male of the Group, Detective Tango Bosley. And there’s one ho who don’t know her place in life, the biggest ho of them all Alix Maria Spezia. That bitch gets on more carpet than a dust mite, and chews more wood than a termite. My kind of girl. But she ain’t chewing my wood and she ain’t munching carpet for my viewing pleasure. So she’s useless! She stepped into Anglesault’s business to aid your dumb sister Morgan and she got wacked in the knee for it! Good! But it ain’t good enough! Anglesault told me personally I gotta go hard on this ho and teach her to stick to ho business and ho business alone. And that is why Anglesault has made a match for the Heartland Spectacular pitting The Alpha Male of The Group against Alix. I’m gonna get me some and I’m gonna break that anorexic bitch apart! Hell yeah! WOOF! WOOF! COLE ...wait a minute... apparantly there's something going on backstage. Let's go back there! We cut backstage to find CPA downed, being laid into by LEON RODEZ in the hallways of the arena! Leon wails away on CPA, clubbing him across the back with a piece of lead pipe, the same one he used at AnglePalooza. RIGGS HEY! HEY, GET HIM! Putting the boots to CPA, Leon suddenly looks up and sees bodies rushing towards him! Pierce Duncan, James Riggs and Todd Cortez, all just seconds too late as Leon takes off and runs away in the opposite direction, the damage done. Riggs chases after Leon but soon gives up the chase with Leon disappearing out of sight. He jogs back to check on CPA, with the other two members of Anglesault's followers. COLE Another hit and run attack by Leon Rodez! COACH He warned them last week and I guess the guys weren't watching CPA's back quite closely enough.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 ANGLEPALOOZA: THE ENCORE PRESENTATION SHILL AVAILABLE ALL THIS MONTH ON PAY-PER-VIEW Still photos of the epic Baron Windels/Reject bunkhouse match along with matching audio air. Final three shots are of the Deadly Alliance men’s room beat down, the infamous toilet piledriver and Reject standing triumph over BW.ANGLEPALOOZA: THE ENCORE PRESENTATION AVAILABLE ALL THIS MONTH ON PAY-PER-VIEW Backstage at the luxurious interview lounge, Terry Taylor stands by with REJECT who sports a BARON WINDELS T-SHIRT. TERRY Talk about adding insult to injury. You’ve got some nerve coming out here dressed like that, Reject. REJECT What do you mean ‘dressed like that’? People wear dead animals all the time. TERRY Baron Windels is not an animal, he’s a human being. A human being you and the entire Deadly Alliance brutally assaulted in a men’s restroom at Anglepalooza, resulting in massive fines and a one week suspension. REJECT We got our money’s worth wouldn’t you say? MAN (off-camera) Have you no shame? The familiar voice off-screen belongs to TIM CASH, tag partner of Baron Windels and current co-holder of the tag team championship with Biffman. REJECT Well if it isn’t Baron Windels little buddy Tim Cash. How’s that goat roper doing? CASH Better than you will after tonight. REJECT What did you say? CASH You heard me. And even though he’s at home convalescing you will hear from Baron Windels too, because there’s a lot of him inside me. There’s a lot of him inside everyone who serves the public’s trust, protects the innocent and upholds the law. I can feel him coming up my colon and out my mouth right now. TERRY CASH What I do tonight is for my friend and fellow Citizen Soldier. TERRY What are you going to do, Timmy? CASH It’s Uncle Timmy tonight. You know why? *points finger at Reject* I want you! REJECT You want me? CASH I want you. REJECT And here I thought Ester was the only queen in the OAOAST. But alright, you got me. Cash nods and smiles. REJECT And Thunderkid. TERRY Wait a second Reject. I think he meant-- Terry backs off after Reject burns a hole through him REJECT See Tim, we both got something the other wants. You want the hammer of justice to fall on my head and I want the World tag team championship back around the waists of the Deadly Alliance. So unless you’re chicken, why don’t you go find that Marvel comics level superhero partner of yours to have ourselves a tag title match tonight? CASH Do you see any feathers on me? Game on! Cash stands tall as Reject tries to intimidate him. COLE Oh my! Tim Cash and Biffman vs. Reject and Thunderkid for the tag titles later tonight! COACH We’re gonna have new champions. Book it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Back on HeldDOWN and the ringside area has been surrounded with bodies. Five bodies in the ring ready for action and a few on the outside for good measure. BUFFER The following contest is a mixed, ten person tag team match, set for one fall! In the ring, team number one. Accompanied to the ring by Logan Mann and Synth Abdul Jabbar, The Heavenly Rockers... and, by the OAOAST 2010 King Of The Ring, Landon Maddix! They are the team of "THE ANGEL OF DEATH" HOLLY... QUEEN ESTHER... SOPHIE... "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... and "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFAAAAQQQUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The King and the kings of rock n' wrestling hang out on the outside, King Landon with a very serious stare fixed seemingly on James Blonde. COLE What a unique treat we're in for. First time ever that I can remember, mixed ten person tag team action, with three OAOAST females and two males on either side. COACH You might have known things would get wacky the moment we set foot in Japan.WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. "Solar Midnite" by Lupe Fiasco hits and brings out the opposition, brimming with energy and exuberance. Tyler and Shayne, D*LUX, get an ear-piercingly loud reaction from the Japanese fans. Jade and Mayashare their excitement, while Megan... well, she's sort of excited. Just, a bit more subtle about it. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! The team of MEGAN SKYE... MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD... the reigning OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION, JADE RODEZ DUNCAN... and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE, "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, D*LLLLLUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE A lot of sub-stories running throughout this contest, with some major repercussions on upcoming contests. Maya out for revenge on Esther and Sophie. Blonde and Faqu, out to protect their Queen and redeem themselves to the King, who's had some friction with Blonde in the past few weeks. Holly has plenty of bad blood with both Jade and Maya, not least with D*LUX and The Heavenly Rockers set to square off in the Anderson Cup. And Megan, keen to get one over on the King and his Kingdom at every opportunity. COACH And if that wasn't enough, remember when James Blonde hit on Jade when she first debuted? COLE ...no, actually. COACH Oh. Well, it happened. Trust me. COLE Did it go anywhere? COACH It got mentioned 5 years later by a damned handsome man. That's something. *DINGDINGDING* After much consultation and debate, it's decided that starting the match will be Maya... and James Blonde. Which isn't exactly in the rules. COLE This is a mixed tag team match remember, which means that the men face the men and the women face the women, but there'll be no man on women viole... Not in the mood for these pesky 'rules', Maya walks up and punts Blonde in the shin! BLONDE OW! COLE ...well, nevermind. COACH Get outta here with that weak-ass stuff. It's 2011. Maya's mom been kicking guys' asses around here since she was in school. COLE ...uhm, she's still in school. Maya grabs Blonde in a side headlock, a minor irritance for Blonde who throws her into the ropes. He sets himself for a shoulder block, but Maya hangs onto the rope and stops herself. Frustrated, Blonde is lured into running at Maya, who clips his knee with a low dropkick. Blonde falls throat first on the middle rope and Maya makes a quick tag to Shayne! From the apron, Shayne enters in a big way, taking out JB with a slingshot crossbody... 1... 2... No! Blonde catches Shayne with a boot and tries an irish whip, but it's reversed. Showtime ducks his head too early though and pays with a kick. BLONDE WOOO! Blonde's whoop is very premature. And he gets hit with a Leg Lariat coming back off the ropes. Cover... 1... 2... No! Tag to Tyler, the tag team specialist connecting with a Double Hiptoss, then blasting Blonde's ears with some Surround Sound dropkicks! The Heavenly Rockers look unimpressed as Tyler makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Tyler goes to pick Blonde up, but a rake of the eye spares him and he dives to his corner. First to tag is Holly, putting Tyler on the backfoot. Not wanting to fight a lady, no matter how crude a lady she may be, Tyler kindly lets Holly know he'll go and make a tag. *SLAP!* COACH Dayyum! Having none of it, Holly cracks Tyler across the cheek and launches into a TIRADE at his expense. A tirade so violent and passionate, Holly starts to spread the tirade around. Maya, the fans, Michael Cole, even her own partners... ...and by the time she turns around, Jade Rodez-Duncan is waiting, legally in and shutting Holly up with a forearm! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Thank goodness for that! I hope most of that got lost in translation to these fans. Firing away with the forearms, Jade backs Holly against the ropes and gives her an irish whip. Holly manages to counter a backdrop though, giving Jade a double axe to the back. Grabbing the Women's Champion by the hair, Holly hurls her face-first to the mat, then SPITS at the referee for daring to reprimand her! QUEEN ESTHER Heavens to Betsy! Holly measures Jade and hooks her down with a clothesline, looking for the pin... 1... 2... No! In a fit of annoyance Holly drags Jade over to the ropes and chokes her across cable two. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" HOLLY (to Logan and Synth) ARE YOU (bleep)ING WATCHING THIS!? TAKE SOME (bleep)ING NOTES, THIS IS HOW (bleep) GETS DONE! Holly breaks before five and gives Maya a few words, before turning back to Jade. She plants Jade with a bodyslam, then STOMPS on her face! COLE Now that's uncalled for. COACH Legal move. Perfectly legal. COLE Well I think we can debate whether Holly's footwear should be legal and whether stomping someone in the face with the sole of a combat boot should be allowed in a wrestling ring. COACH Man, you're still a pussy, aren't you? With the advantage on her team's side, Sophie is eager to get in. Holly, grumpily, lets her in and Sophie delivers a couple more stomps... then immediately tags in Queen Esther! Sophie holds Jade up, allowing Queen Esther to wind up, like a turn of the century boxer with a handlebar moustache. The King urges his Queen on and celebrates with glee, despite Esther delivering a quite pitiful slap after all the build-up. COACH Alright, sock it to her Queenie! After one slap, the Queen has had quite enough competition and tags Holly back in. Maya looks on with disgust while The Kingdom all celebrate, as even The Heavenly Rockers look on and are like "dude, really?" COLE What a royal embarrassment. Holly, ignoring all this lunacy, gives Jade a sideslam and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Jade's team-mates lead the crowd, who know enough English to follow along and know enough wrestling to realise Jade needs their help. KING LANDON QUIET! I DEMAND QUIET! The Japanese do not know enough to know why Landon is wearing a crown and barking at them like he's their leader, however. Holly works over Jade, daring her to respond to her fans and fight back, but cutting her off every time she gets close. Tiring of toying around with Jade, she whips her across the ring. Holly then looks for a clothesline in the corner... but misses! As she favours her arm, Jade pushes up off the turnbuckles behind The Angel Of Death and surprises her with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! Jade looks for a clothesline this time, but a raised knee fends her off and she stumbles back against the ropes. Holly sees an opportunity and yells at Blonde to hold Jade in place. Which he fails to do, resulting in him taking a forearm smash from Holly, who is far from apologetic. HOLLY YOU (bleep)ING SCREW-UP (bleep) (bleep) (bleep)ING (bleep)! Faqu doesn't respond well to Blonde getting yelled at and pretty soon everybody is caught up in and arguement, including King Landon and The Heavenly Rockers... ...which allows Jade to make the tag to Megan! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The Queen hurriedly warns Holly of the danger behind her but not hurriedly enough, as Holly turns into a clothesline! Megan hits another one. Then lays out Sophie as she comes in to try and help out! Faqu and Blonde step in, but are immediately sent packing by D*LUX. Who then WIPE OUT Blonde and Faqu with STEREO TOPÉS!!!! COLE WOW! In the ring, Megan disposes of Sophie, then knocks Holly down with a roundkick to the chest. Megan crouches down, setting up for another big kick, when suddenly Queen Esther leaps into action. Literally, diving at Megan and wrapping herself around her neck. Before Megan can manage to shake her off, the job is done for her by Maya, who drags Esther off of Megan and hits her with a dropkick! COLE There goes the Queen! COACH AAH! A travesty! All this commotion plays into Holly's hands, able to sneak up on Megan and lift her up for the fireman's carry gutbuster! Cover by Holly... 1... 2... NO! Holly drags Megan back up by the head and signals for a little dose of Percussion... ...but Maya cuts her off with a SPEAR, sending BOTH through the ropes and tumbling to the outside! COLE Oooh! A nasty spill there. That leaves Megan in the ring, which doesn't go unnoticed by the King. Pulling Blonde aside, King Landon points out the opportunity to him and waves him into the ring. COLE Wait a minute... from behind! Already grinning, Blonde sneaks up on Megan and slaps on the cobra clutch! ...but the grin is wiped off his face by a HEADBUTT from Megan! COACH Ow! She hit him right in the nose! Blonde checks his face hasn't been rearranged... but may have to check again, as Megan delivers a CHICK KICK... ...sending Blonde into a TKO BY TYLER!! COACH Oh no! Cover by Tyler... COACH Not again! 1... 2... 3!!!! COACH Gah! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of MEGAN SKYE, MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD, JADE RODEZ DUNCAN and D*LLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The King throws his hands up in despair, unable to believe his number two has dropped the ball again. COLE D*LUX's momentum keeps rolling on here in 2011... where-as, the same can't be said for James Blonde. And the King does not look happy. COACH I can't blame him. JB just got punked by a girl. New low. The girls regroup and join D*LUX in the ring to celebrate their victory. Far less together are the Kingdom, a split in the camp as King Landon doesn't hang around to hear Blonde's excuses and leaves him holding his head in throbbing pain, pleading with the royal couple to wait for him to catch up. Also pissed, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly catch eyes with D*LUX and words are exchanged, with their match growing ever closer in the Anderson Cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We cut to backstage where Dr. Max and Dr. Steven are busy instructing a couple of busty fans on the finer points of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when suddenly SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-BOOOOM!!!! The weird sound is followed by a bright flash and green smoke billowing out in the hallways as one of the doors is blown off its hinges and sent across the floor. Moments later a dark green figure staggers out of the smoke and collapses in a heap on the floor. Dr. Max All right stand back the doctors are in the house! The comment was rather unnecessary, as everyone else in the hallway seems to have actually taken a few steps AWAY from the dark lump on the floor. The Love Doctors bend down and looks at the mass that seems to still be smoking. Dr. Max What is it? Dr. Steven carefully pokes the mass with his shoe. Dr. Steven I don’t know, I have never seen anything like it. Dr. Max Is it a person? Dr. Steven I… Damn it Jim! I’m a doctor not a… guy that knows other species. As they look closer at the lump on the floor it utters a strange sound, vaguely sounding like it “iiiiiiiit??” the noise surprises both Love Doctors who jump back away from the figure on the floor Iiiiiiit?? Dr. Steven It’s alive? Both Love Doctors just stare in amazement as the dark green and black lump unfolds and stands up, revealing a hideous, weird looking alien creature. Dr. Max Did we sign up for some weird drug trial that I did not know about?? Dr. Steven We MUST be hallucinating, because THAT is an alien Iiiiiiit!! Dr. Max Is it?? Dr. Steven That’s it!! Dr. Max What is? Dr. Steven It!… the Alien The Love Doctors go quiet as It “the Alien” begins to examine it’s surroundings, crawling around on all fours as It presses it’s face against the dirty linoleum floor. Dr. Max That is NOT sanitary It “the Alien” Maaah! Dr. Max What did it say? Dr. Steven I… Damn it Jim! I’m a doctor not a language specialist Dr. Max Quit calling me Jim damn it!! The Alien’s attention is drawn to one of the monitors on the wall, currently playing a replay of the 2011 Lethal Rumble. As the action intensifies the Alien creature moves in closer and closer, putting his long alien fingers on the screen. Dr. Steven (Whispering) should we back away and leave? Dr. Max (Whispering) way ahead of you The Love Doctors quickly leave the scene as the Alien has It’s mind elsewhere at the moment. He watches closely, seeing wrestlers fighting in the ring throwing wrestlers over the top rope left and right. It “the Alien” Te, heeeee-heh! Was that laughter or some sort of alien language? We may never know as we cut to a commercial break.LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S... ANGLEMANIA TEN SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 3rd ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 In the bowels of the building, we find Zack Malibu, in careful search. Watching his step as he walks through the unfamiliar parts of the arena Zack seems to be on a fruitless hunt and sighs, frustrated. Carrying on, he comes to some metal piping and ducks through, apparantly enough of a hiding place for Leon Rodez, who is sat slumped against a wall deep in thought. ZACK Hey! Glancing up, Leon squints through the dull light and as soon as he spots Zack, he stands up and approaches with lead pipe in hand. ZACK Before you make another mistake, I think we need to talk. LEON Why would I want to talk to you? ZACK I don't care if you want to talk or not, but you do need to hear me out. Stopping short of actually attacking Zack, Leon backs down, but keeps the pipe tight in hand. Zack is on his guard, but sees Leon's standown as a sign he's willing to listen. ZACK I saw what they did. (awkward pause) Look, going after Anglesault and his group with that as your only weapon doesn't seem like a great idea to me, unless you've got a deathwish. LEON ...maybe I have. ZACK Or maybe, just maybe, you need to be a bit more rational. Listen. I know what you're trying to do. And it's not going to work. I know you're angry, but come on, Leon. What do you think's going to happen? You think you can hit and run forever without them swarming you again, beating you to a bloody pulp, maybe this time putting you out for good? I know you stand on your own now. But you can't fight all these guys by yourself. Trust me. Leon scoffs under his breath and turns away in disgust. LEON Trust you!? Trust you!? You really have the nerve to confront me and... ZACK HEY! HEY! Leon starts to approach Zack again and The Franchise squares up to him, pipe and all. ZACK I'm not here to confront you, okay? I'm here to help, believe it or not. I know you hate my guts and quite frankly, I don't care, because the feeling is pretty mutual. But it's not about you and me. It's about a bigger picture. If we, we, this company, don't deal with the threat from Anglesault, then we're all screwed. And I can see you thinking, "why should I care"... well, whether you care or not, I know you want the same thing that I do. You want revenge. You want retribution on Anglesault and his guys. LEON ...so what? ZACK So, you can do it one of two ways. You can carry on running around on your own with your sawn off bit of metal and keep swinging and swinging, until they beat the life out of you. Or... you swallow your pride and you fight with the rest of us. Not liking this idea, Leon immediately shakes his head. ZACK You fight this fight on your own and you're not going to win. Trust me on that. LEON You've got nerve, I'll give you that. Let me ask you something. Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? ZACK Excuse me? LEON Do you realise what you're saying? Do you realise who you're even talking to? You're the reason! You're the reason why I'm even here in the first place! If it wasn't for you, none of this would even be happening. Because you... you sent me on this downward spiral! You ruined me! Fighting your fights is what put me here, so what makes me think I'd do that now? ZACK Because it's not my fight! It's YOUR fight! Zack is right up in Leon's face at this point, figuring that if Leon was going to hit him, he'd have done it by this point. ZACK You know what... maybe you're right. Maybe you got dragged into my problems in the past. But this isn't about that. You're already in this one. And it sure as hell wasn't me who got you into it. Whether you like it or not, you need to get back at Anglesault and I'm the guy who can help you. So I'm offering you a spot. A spot in War Games. You get your hands on five guys. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. No rules. And four guys to watch your back, no questions asked. Not friends... because it's clear you're not a fan of them... but allies. You fight alongside us and you can get what you want. Revenge. I've already buried one hatchet and I'm not asking you to 'forgive and forget', but if me and Bruce can put aside our differences, then I'm willing to take a gamble that you can do the same for one night. I want you on that team. Whatever water's passed under the bridge between you and me, I know what you're capable of and I need that in War Games. What do you say? Staring at Zack as he takes all this in, Leon hangs his head. Weighing up his options the sullen Rodez flips the pipe in his hand, before eventually looking back up. LEON You want me? Prove it. ZACK And how do I do that, exactly? Leon thinks some more, making Zack stew. LEON I want one condition. You go to Alfdogg and you get it in writing... if I team with you at War Games, I get the first World Title shot after AngleMania. Win, lose or draw, I'm guaranteed that just for stepping inside that cage and fighting that match. You get me that guarantee... and I'll do it. Having been backed into a bit of a corner, not exactly the outcome Zack was expecting, The Franchise stares Leon down for a few seconds. But, he has no ZACK Leave it with me. Zack turns and ducks his way back into the real world, outside of Leon's pit of misery, into which he slips back, sitting back against the wall and going back into his deep thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! “Final Ride” by TRU hits and the lights go out, replaced by a silver light that illuminates the entryway. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers and former two-time tag team champions of the world, representing THE DEADLY ALLIANCE… THUNDERKID and RRRRRREEEEEEJECT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The challengers walk to the ring slowly but purposefully. They pose once inside and stare into the crowd with disdain. COLE Only four teams in OAOAST history have held the tag team championship on at least three different occasions -- the Heavenly Rockers, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard, Team Heyross, and Chicks Over Dicks. COACH A club Reject and TK will join tonight. COLE If that happens they’d be halfway to COD‘s record amount of title reigns which currently stands at six. “It’s Not My Time” cues by 3 Doors Down cues and Tim Cash goes around ringside slapping hands with members of the OAOAST Galaxy. BUFFER Their opponents and reigning tag team champions. First, from Peoria, Illinois, weighing 220 pounds… Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy… TIIIIIIMMMMM CCAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" An unwed TEENAGER MOTHER hands Cash her baby to kiss and pose for a picture. As she gets her camera ready Cash is surrounded by Reject and TK. COLE Reject and TK wouldn’t dare attack Tim Cash while he holds a baby in his arms. They can’t be that cold and callous. Unfortunately Cole’s wrong. Reject and TK move in, prompting Cash to dive inside and the teen mom to freak COACH What’s that idiot doing taking the baby in the ring with him? Suddenly, the sounds of troubled streets, police alarms and fleeing citizens, can be heard through the arena. The young teenage mom screams as a giant “A“ beams on the ceiling. COACH Oh no. A triumphant fanfare sounds before "The Power" hits and BIFFMAN appears onstage, hands on hip in heroic fashion. COLE It’s Biff, man! Back in the ring, Cash gets popped by Reject and THE BABY GOES FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE. COLE & COACH BIFF Biff races down the aisle and makes a great DIVING CATCH, then reunites the child with its mother to a round of applause. COLE Alright Biff! * DINGDINGDING * Cash continues to be double teamed until Biff enters the ring and cleans house. “ZAP!” “POW!” “ZOWIE!” “WHOOMP THERE IT IS!” No, those aren’t chants from the crowd, but Melody reacting to every blow delivered by Biff. COACH If not for those beautiful bouncing breasts I’d wish Melody would walk in front of a bus. Reject and TK bail outside to regroup as Biff and Cash stand tall in the ring. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we need to take our final commercial break. Don’t you dare go away!HeldDOWN~! Continues TK and Cash lockup as we return from break. COLE Welcome back to the longest running in joke in TSM history. This is OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole and Da Coach back with you from Tokyo. COACH And minutes away from new tag team champions. Cash is kneed in the gut and then whipped in for a press slam, but he floats over and connects with the BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK! TK bounces off the ropes and right back into a Randy Orton style backbreaker, a/k/a THE CASHBACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash fires TK in for a backdrop, but TK puts on the brakes and delivers a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! COLE This could be it. Will we have new tag team champions right here? COACH I told you. I told you, Cole. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash is rammed into the boot of Reject, who tags in and chops away. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Following a snap mare Reject drops a knee into the heart of Cash and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject looks to suplex Cash… but gets wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash ducks a clothesline and tags Biff, who waits for his partner to leap over Reject on the rebound. COACH Behind you, Reject! Reject signals for Cash to bring it, but Cash decides to check his nails as Biff uses a FULL NELSON to lift Reject into the air and FACEPLANT him. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Biff Blast! TK charges inside and right into a big SPEAR! MELODY BIFF SMASH! Reject ducks a running high knee and takes Biff down with a quick DDT. COACH Beautiful! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Biff is rammed into the buckle and worked over in the corner by new legal man TK. “LET’S GO BIFF!” “LET’S GO BIFF!” “LET’S GO BIFF!” Urged by the crowd, and perhaps Melody’s bouncing breasts, Biff reverses a whip and clotheslines TK. Again. And again. He tags Cash and together they deliver a double suplex, then a press slam into a big splash! COLE Excellent teamwork by the champs. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REJECT! Cash heads to the top as Reject is escorted out, but TK avoids a missile dropkick and scrambles Cash’s brain with multiple European uppercuts and then performs a FALLAWAY SLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BIFF! Reject tags in and puts the boots to Cash before dropping to his knees to apply a CHOKE. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! After waiting until the last second to break the choke, Reject unloads on Cash in the corner with RVD style kicks. The situation well in hand, Reject paintbrushes Cash the same way he did Baron Windels. CASH REJECT What? You gonna cry? Cry for me. Cry. Cash cocks his fists and goes off on Reject like Ralphie did Farkus in A Christmas Story. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Reject flees outside and a chase ensues. COLE Timmy needs to be careful here. Cash follows Reject back inside and gets stomped/clubbed repeatedly. COACH Reject outsmarted Cash there. Reject makes the cover following a gut wrench suplex. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! TK receives the tag and executes a Falcon Arrow slam. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BIFF! TK has a few choice words for Biff, then goes back on the attack. After a series of European uppercuts TK whips Cash to the corner and charges in, but Cash moves and quickly school boy’s TK! COLE Timmy and Biff are going to retain the tag team championship. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH You were saying, Cole? *laughs* Cash runs into a kick to the gut and then a BRAINBUSTER. NOT! Cash floats over and hits a RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! COLE Timmy countered the Thunderbolt! Cash doesn’t screw around. He immediately tags out and the OAOAST Galaxy erupts. COACH Don’t tell me they’re gonna manage to pull this off. Biff goes on a clothesline spree that results in the knockdowns of TK and Reject, then slams them both. Caught up in all the excitement Biff almost slams the ref too! COLE Careful there big guy. Biff gingerly puts down the ref and then clothesline Reject outside. COACH Biff was gonna slam the ref on purpose to save the titles, Cole. COLE He was not. Biff catches TK with a running high knee and makes the cover. COLE Up And Atlas! The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! TK returns to a vertical base and thumbs Biff in the eye. A series of European uppercuts leads to an Irish whip that sets up an overhead belly to belly suplex. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! TK looks to hit another gut wrench power bomb, but Biff counters with a backdrop and then THE SUPER BOMB! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REJECT! Cash flies across the screen to hit Reject with a cross body that sends them both over the top and to the floor. Meanwhile, Biff positions TK smack in the middle of the ring and signals for a MOONSAULT. COLE Biff’s not going to try the Atlassault is he? COACH Hell will freeze over if he hits this. And nobody will be able to blame it on global warming, either. Biff nearly loses his balance on the top rope when a groggy Cash accidentally hits his foot. Luckily Biff manages to hold on and then flip back… but from out of nowhere Reject reappears to deliver a midair EULOGY~! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE & COACH Reject makes the cover despite not being the legal man. Once he’s made aware of that he places TK on top. COACH What did I tell you, baby boy? We’re gonna have new champions! Reject begins the celebration early as he goes to grab the tag titles at the timekeeper’s table. As he does that Cash sneaks in and surprises TK with an OKLAHOMA ROLL! The count. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Tag titles in hand, a look of shock falls over the face of Reject when he realizes who got the pin. COLE You were saying, Coach? *laughs* COACH What the hell? Tim Cash wasn’t the legal man. Reject has the tag titles yanked away from him, then goes berserk when they’re handed to Biff and Cash. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… and STILL your One & Only World tag team champions… TIM CASH and BBIIIIFFFFFFFMMAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The champs and Melody celebrate in the crowd while Reject tears into the ref inside the ring. While that goes on a replay airs for the folks at home and in the arena on the AngleTron which shows the ref signaled a tag when Tim Cash almost knocked Biff off the top rope. COLE A picture is worth a thousand words, Coach. Tim Cash was indeed the legal man. COACH And it once again proves it’s better to be lucky than good. Back live Reject apologizes to the ref, then gives him the Eulogy! COLE Oh come on, that was totally uncalled for. COACH It's good to let out a little steam from time to time. Holding it in is bad for a person's health. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we thank you for joining us in Tokyo. Next week we'll come to you from Paris, France. Until then, for Da Coach this is Michael Cole saying goodnight!© 2011 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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