Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA The view goes straight to Double C, wearing Anglemania X football jerseys. COLE On Superbowl weekend the OAOAST has a SUPER HeldDOWN~! in store for you! I am Michael Cole, sitting alongside Da Coach. COACH ESPN Personality Da Coach, who's got his own Super Bowl party poppin' courtesy of that company's account. COLE I can't wait for that shin dig! Its going to be off the hizzook! COACH Your sucka ass ain't invited to my shit. Ol Dinner for Schmucks ass nigga. COLE But I love you! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2011 Lethal Rumble...ZAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAALIBU! That's the greeting that welcomes us to HeldDOWN~! this week, as Papa Roach's hit song "Getting Away With Murder" follows the announcement from Michael Buffer, and brings ZACK MALIBU out onto the entrance ramp! COLE He was beaten, he was bloodied, and he outlasted twenty nine other men this past Sunday! Zack Malibu is going on to Anglemania TEN to fight for the World Heavyweight Championship! COACH Kiss a little more ass while you're at it, Cole. We've got all night! COLE I know you think what you've been doing the past few weeks is "job security", but do you really think Anglesault gives a damn about your commentary? COACH I know the people don't, and that's why they watch this show with the mute button on! COLE That would mean they can't hear you either, Coach. COACH Uh...I mean... COLE We'll stop right there. Greeted with a warm welcome from the sold out crowd, Malibu, head bandaged and several small noticeable cuts under his right eye, takes the mic to address the fans. MALIBU Anglemania Ten. I never thought I'd see the day. In fact, I'm guessing that there are a lot of people that feel the same way. In just a few short months, the OAOAST is going to make history once again, and for that, I have to say thank you. I have to say thank you to the past, present, and future of the OAOAST, for putting out a product that the public continues to adore. I have to thank the crew, from the camera men to the refs and road agents, for doing what you can to contain the insanity that this company brings. Lastly, but especially, I have to thank you, the fans, for helping us get to where we are, because without you all, this place would have never survived as long as we have. The fans thank Zack for his kind words with a loud applause, and then break out into a chant, with half of the arena chanting "OAO", and the other half chanting "AST". "OAO!" "AST!" "OAO!" "AST!" MALIBU Now, let's get down to business. This past Sunday night, despite the best efforts of Anglesault's mercenaries, I won the Lethal Rumble. I was the last man standing, and that means that I've earned myself a shot at the World Heavyweight Title, held by none other than Jason Silver. The crowd boos at the mention of the smug newcomer, and some fans break out into a "Silver Sucks!" chant. MALIBU I know he's got a lot of critics. Some people think he's living off of Anglesault's handouts. Some think he's not a deserving champion. I'm certainly no fan of him, but just look at what he's accomplished this past month alone. He's beaten Krista Isadora Duncan not once, but twice. Sunday night, he made her tap out, something that no one thought they'd ever see him do. He might be Anglesault's nephew, he might be brainwashed by his uncle, he might be one of the biggest assholes this company has ever seen, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's got talent. Because make no mistake, he does. He's an opportunist. He will find a weakness and exploit it as much as he can. He could be the biggest challenge I've ever faced...if I actually wanted to face him. COLE Wait, what!? COACH Ha! Zack's got cold feet! He doesn't want no part of Rocksault! Before Zack can continue, "Don't Stop" cues up, and out walks the World Champion, wearing an expensive suit and a big smile on his face. With the World Title slung over his right shoulder, Silver heads to the ring and enters to confront Malibu, waving for Buffer to hand him a mic before standing nose to nose with the OAOAST legend. SILVER This is...this is too funny. Zack Malibu, on national television, with thousands of people here cheering you on, is showing that he's got a yellow streak running down his back! You made such a big deal about winning the Rumble, about taking everything that was thrown your way, and now here you are, mere DAYS LATER, throwing it all away? Zack, I mean, I thought you were a better man than that. I thought you had that "fighting spirit". What happened, huh? What happened, franchise!? Did you have a revelation that the biggest Anglemania of all time was going to end with you looking up at the lights, while the greatest champion in OAOAST rose his belt in the air one more time? Are you afraid that at Anglemania Ten, you'd be exposed for the fraud you were by the hottest talent to ever burn through this roster of misfits? MALIBU Silver, you know what they say about people who make assumptions, right? SILVER Yeah. MALIBU Well, we already know you're an ass, so why don't you let me finish before you try to make one out of me. Silver rolls his eyes at the attempt at comedy, though the fans get a kick out of it. MALIBU Now, some of what you said is true. You and me at Anglemania Ten would be epic. It would be a fitting end to your title reign, for me to win it at the event I made famous. Because it wasn't until Anglemania II that people started to take the OAOAST seriously. It wasn't until I beat your uncle, in the center of THIS RING, that everyone's eyes opened up. The only reason people can take you seriously as champion is because people like ME MADE THAT BELT INTO SOMETHING. People like me, and Caboose, and Crystal, and Calvin Szechs... SILVER STOP. JUST STOP. Stop talking about the people who are gone and don't give a damn about this place anymore! Stop living in the PAST, Zack. That's your problem. You're like the high school quarterback who became a 35 year old, middle aged insurance salesman with 2 kids and a nagging wife, longing for the good old days. I'M what you need to worry about. I am the the present. I am the future. I am the OAOAST RIGHT NOW. MALIBU Exactly. You're the OAOAST right now, but all it would take would be one kick to your jaw to put you in the past tense too. SILVER Then do it. I'm BEGGING you, Zack. C'mon, Franchise! Hit me! Take me out! Play hero! C'mon! Silver puts the World Title down in front of him, using it as a line and daring Zack to cross it. SILVER C'mon, Zack! You talk about "proof of excellence"? You had that t-shirt, didn't you? Well, prove it! Prove how excellent you are! Hit me! Malibu holds up the mic to retort, and then just gives up, and NAILS the World Champion with a right hand! Silver falls down, and as he gets up Zack lines him up for SCHOOL'S OUT, but Silver rolls out of the ring! As Silver holds his jaw, the theme music of his uncle hits, and ANGLESAULT walks out onto the ramp! ANGLESAULT Malibu, I don't know what games you think you're playing, but if you lay one more hand on my nephew... MALIBU What are you going to do, 'Sault? Fire me? I don't think so. In fact, I'm glad you're out here, because you're just the man I wanted to speak with. ANGLESAULT Talk? I told you Zack, when it comes to you and me, the talking needs to be kept at a minimum. MALIBU Then shut up, and I'll make this quick. Anglesault sneers, while Malibu smiles. MALIBU As I said, I'm forfeiting my Lethal Rumble shot for the World Title, because there's something bigger I want at Anglemania. Do I want the World Title around my waist again? You bet your life I do. But I want something more than that right now. More than just championship gold. I want YOU, back in the ring, against me at Anglemania! COLE WHOA! COACH Is he...did he...Zack's crazy! Anglesault finds humor in this, and laughs, as he's now joined on the ramp by the World Champion. ANGLESAULT I hate to tell you, Zack, but I've retired. I've got no reason to get in the ring with you when there are plenty of other capable superstars, such as THE World Heavyweight Champion here, that can get rid of you for me. I have nothing to gain by fighting you. You think by throwing away a title shot that I would take that as some grand gesture? That's the best you could come up with? Zack, you're slipping. It's sad, really. I considered you a master manipulator, but now it's just pathetic. MALIBU All right then. What if I were to forfeit the title shot for the chance to get my hands on you, one on one? ANGLESAULT Really? OK, I'll play along. What's behind door number two, Zack? MALIBU Just this. This month, at Zero Hour, you pick a team and I'll pick a team. If there are so many people capable of taking me out, then let them do it then. If they can't, then it's you and me at Anglemania! ANGLESAULT And what do I get out of this? You forfeiting a title shot? That's not good business, Zack. MALIBU I'll forfeit my title shot to try and get that chance to face you. In fact, we'll keep it even. Winning team gets full booking power over their opponents for Anglemania. We win, it's you and me, and whatever else we decide on. Your team wins, Anglemania is all yours. Anglesault and Silver stand and look at Zack incredulously, as if he actually thinks he can get one over on them. MALIBU C'mon, 'Sault, where's your sense of faith? Where's the confidence you've got for your nephew. I mean, he's the World Champion, I'm sure he'd love to be a part of the team that puts Zack Malibu out to pasture! Wouldn't you, Jason? You just said you wanted me to prove myself, and I'll prove that I'm a man of my word. You'll get a free pass for Anglemania, and you'll get to stick me in the ring against God knows who, in any kind of match you want. You can finally get the respect you want from your uncle by getting rid of his greatest foe! ANGLESAULT Malibu, I... Just then, Silver grabs the mic, and shouts at Zack. SILVER YOU'RE ON! The crowd roars, and Anglesault is shocked at his nephews initiative. Silver tells his uncle to stay calm and he's got things under control, while Malibu smiles proudly. MALIBU Well, I guess that makes it official. There is just one other thing, though. That match, at Zero Hour, it's going to be five on five. But that's not at all. It's going to be five on five, inside of two rings, which are surrounded by a steel cage... The expressions on Anglesault and Jason Silver's faces drop. MALIBU ...it's going to be WAR GAMES! The crowd pops huge, while Anglesault and Silver are IRATE. Blood boiling, cartoonish steaming coming out of the ears anger. ANGLESAULT No way, Malibu. No deal! MALIBU Your nephew already signed off on it...but more importantly, so did this guy. ANGLESAULT What guy!? At that moment, the Angletron changes from the scene in the arena, so a smiling face that hasn't been seen in quite some time, and his appearance gets a loud pop before Anglesault can turn to see who it is. "It's not "what guy", Anglesault, it's SOME GUY." Indeed, SOME GUY is on the Angletron, looking at Anglesault and mock waving at him. SOME GUY Long time no see, Anglesault. I figured with all that talk about "aWo 4 Ever" that you'd at least call and see what I was up to, but it's been what...four, five years at least? That's OK, though, I forgive. In fact, I'll probably be seeing a lot more of you, now that I made a little purchase of OAOAST stock. About ten percent, actually. Oh, and the guy who sold it to me? He's in the ring right now, the guy who laid out your nephew with one punch just a few minutes ago. Silver is fuming, and actually challenges Some Guy to fight him, not realizing in the heat of the moment that he has, in fact, challenged a satellite feed. SOME GUY As much as I'd love to come down there and school you, Mr. Silver, I can't. I just dropped by to say hi and that the War Games match for Zero Hour is officially official. So if I were you, I'd rally your troops real quick, because this is going to impact the biggest Anglemania EVER. May the best team win. I'll be seeing you again real soon! With one last smile, the feed cuts out, and the fans are ecstatic, as Malibu's music plays and he hops out of the ring, tagging a few hands at ringside while Anglesault and Silver kick themselves. COLE What an announcement! Zack Malibu, just days after winning the Lethal Rumble, has forfeited his title shot to set up a War Games match at Zero Hour! COACH He's a fool, Mikey Cole! A damn fool!" COLE With Anglesault's stronghold on the company, Zack may never get close to the World Title again! Now we find out that Some Guy is one of the five veterans that purchased Zack's OAOAST stock, that he's signed off on it, and the winning team gets booking privileges for Anglemania Ten! COACH I need a drink. COLE I might have to join you this one time. Fans, we'll be back, after these quick commercials!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Returning from break we find…COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR walking backstage with….SPENCER REIGER CMJ I get it! SPENCER What do you get? CMJ It all makes sense! SPENCER What? What makes sense? CMJ Its all coming ta me! SPENCER Coming to you? CMJ Its so clear now! SPENCER Dang it, will you just hurry up and tell me what this epiphany is all about. CMJ What the fhack is an epiphany? SPENCER Ugh! Man, what have you figured out? CMJ I figured out why ya datin’ that Jade girl. Its one of them jobs, see. It’s a job from the inside, I don’t know what ya cahall it. SPENCER An inside job, maybe? CMJ Nah, that isn’t it. Either ways, that’s what yer doin’. Yer gettin’ in real nice and good with the Duncan family, see, and then when they think yer one of them, ya pull the rug out from under ‘em and they drahp and drahp ‘till they hit rock bottom! Then Krista comes runnin’ ta Mister Moneymaker fer help, and she has to give up the play for him and we cahn finally stop hearin’ about her everyday from the big boss! Fhackin genius! Christian said ya were a dummy- SPENCER He called me a dummy? CMJ Maybe he cahlled ya a fool or a dullahad. Either ways, he cahlled ya something after he chucked ya up out the Lethal Rumble, and he said yer time with us was startin’ ta get real short. After this scheme? Man, you might be leadin’ us all one day! SPENCER Sorry, buddy, but you’re wrong. You think I let myself get beat all across the ring by Bohemoth for Mister Moneymaker’s benefit. There’s no master plan in the works to take down the Duncan family. I don’t have the inside job you think I have. I’m with Jade because I’m with Jade. I like the girl, Colin. She doesn’t expect me to be this cocky punk. She doesn’t care who my parents are, or how much money I’ve got, or where I want to school. She just cares about me. The real me, not the asshole everyone else sees. I’m not gonna screw that up because Mister Moneymaker has a hard on for her mother. CMJ Bu….bu…bu….whaaaaaaaaaaaa?! Mister Moneymaker isn’t gonna like this at all. SPENCER He’ll get used to it. Spencer and Colin continue walking with Colin looking incredibly dumbfounded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return to Sofa Central! COLE Here we go with Anderson Cup action. The winner to head to the Conference Finals to face the winner of The Orange County Cobras and Pierce Duncan and James Riggs, joining D*LUX who got a bye courtesy of Reject and ThunderKid and Citizen Soldiers going to a double countout. “Mother” by Danzig hits and the Last Kings march to the ring. BUFFER The following Anderson Cup semifinal match is scheduled for one fall Introducing first, from Ireland and Scotland respectively… “CELTIC THUNDER” DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAAAAAND!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scottish Scott proudly displays his spiked club until green and gold lights swim across the stage.Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses blares in the background as Lorelei DeCenzo turns heads decked out in a strapless number. Even Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright can’t help but go over her assets. BUFFER And their opponents, being led down the aisle by LORELEI DECENZO, representing THE ENTERPRISE! First, from Washington, D.C., weighing approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'… CHRISTIAN WRRRRRRRRIGHT!! His tag team partner hails from Vero Beach, Florida and is currently the OAOAST United States champion… THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Microphone in hand, Moneymaker requests a meeting with the LKOS, although he wants them to put away the spiked club first. Scott obliges and Moneymaker gets down to business. MONEYMAKER I always knew you were reasonable guys. But I’m not here to talk about your personal character. Two weeks ago CW and myself viewed your match against Mr. Dick and Malaysia from our VIP suite and I gotta admit, we were impressed. And we don’t impress easily. That’s why I’m prepared to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime. COLE Are you kidding me? Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright are gonna try to buy their way into the conference finals. COACH D*LUX got a free pass. Why not Teddy and CW? COLE Completely different circumstances and you know it. CW reaches into the inner breast pocket of his nifty red polyester jacket and hands the LKOS a CHECK. MONEYMAKER In exchange for dropping out of this match, we’ll spare you a humiliating defeat. DANNY BOY $5? SCOTTISH SCOTT WHAT?! An outraged Scott decks Moneymaker and CW! COACH They never even bothered to negotiate, Cole. COLE Your boys never should have low balled them in the first place. COACH I happen to think it was a fair offer myself. COLE Give me a break. Lorelei flees the ring as CW and Moneymaker are whipped into the ropes and nailed by a spinning wheel kick and clothesline respectively. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scott clubs his chest and then Moneymaker in the corner. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR! “FIVE! “SIX!” SEVEN!” “EIGHT!” “NINE!” Scott drapes his kilt over Moneymaker’s head. “TEN!!!” Scott throws Moneymaker to the mat and performs a VADER BOMB. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY CW! CW heads back towards his corner proud of a job well done. Little does he know Scottish Scott is right behind him despite Lorelei’s best efforts. CW Scott spins CW around and floors him! COACH Dirty fighter! Scott continues to wail on CW until Moneymaker flies in with a running knee to the back. * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" * CHOP * "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker whips Scott into the ropes following a flurry of knife edge chops and levels him with a back elbow before dropping A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker rams Scott into the boot of CW and then tags out. After peppering Scott in the corner with European uppercuts, CW shoots Scott in and delivers a snap power slam! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CW whips Scott in and applies THE SLEEPER HOLD! COACH Instead of sheep I bet Scottish Scott is counting all the dollar bills he and Danny passed on. Oh wait. I don’t he can even count to five! Danny rallies the OAOAST Galaxy behind Scott, who breaks the sleeper with a back suplex. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scott tags out and Danny Boy connects with a springboard leg drop! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny executes a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM and makes the cover. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! CW gets his foot on the bottom rope! Danny looks to hit a springboard arm drag… but CW swipes Danny’s legs out from under to CROTCH him on the top rope. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH (singing) Oh Danny boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling… COLE Will you stop! CW super kicks Danny out to the floor. There Moneymaker brings Danny to his feet so Lorelei can SLAP him. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker “helps” Danny back in after he‘s spotted by the ref. COACH Isn’t Teddy a great guy? *laughs* The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CW attempts to BANK ROLL Danny’s demise, but the Irishman slips out and wraps CW up in a small package! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Danny stuns CW with forearm strikes and then shoots him in for a backdrop, but CW puts on the brakes and delivers a series of explosive moves that include a Triple H style face buster, inverted atomic drop, STO and knee drop all in succession. COLE The C-4! VINTAGE Christian Wright. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Scottish Scott makes the save! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER COLE The Billion Dollar Heir doesn’t like it, but turnabout is fair play. COACH Who asked you? Then zip it. CW heads up top following a scoop slam. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” CW (from top rope) SIL-- Suddenly CW loses his balance and crotches himself thanks to Scott shaking the ropes! OAOAST GALAXY Despite being groggy, Danny climbs onto the middle rope and delivers a TOP ROPE BRAINBUSTER! COLE The Flower of Scotland! Cover him Danny! COACH That doesn’t sound fair and balanced to me. The previous move took a lot out of both men, so all Danny can do is drape his arm across CW’s chest. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, SAVE BY MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The Last Kings of Scotland were a half-a-count away from advancing to the conference finals. Moneymaker is sure to remind everyone how smart he was to breakup the pin… and gets popped for it by Scottish Scott! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Scott and Moneymaker brawl out on the floor while CW staggers to his feet and nails Danny with THE GORDBUSTER! COACH Stock market Crash! COLE Oh no! The cover. SCOTTISH SCOTT ONE! TWO! Scott dives inside… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * …but it too late to breakup the pin. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the conference finals in the Morrison bracket… CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As their music blares in the background, Lorelei raises the hand of a triumphant Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker. COACH CW and Teddy are one win away from a shot at the tag titles, Cole. And you got nothing to complain about because they won the match fair and square. COLE That they did. But you gotta hand it to the Last Kings of Scotland. They put up a helluva fight. COACH I’ll give them that. If not for the beating Danny Boy took we could’ve had a different outcome. We’ll never know because CW and Teddy got the job done. COLE True. Folks, we'll be back with more HeldDOWN after this!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 After we return from break we find ourselves backstage in a nicely decorated dressing room. Sitting on a leather couch is OAOAST World Champion Jason Silver. SILVER Well, well, WELL! Hi. I’m Jason Silver and Melody was going to do this No Homo 2011 promo. But, I said given who we’re previewing tonight, take the night off Melody, go hack Molly’s twitter and let Rocksault rock the video gaming world. But she said no. So, I had to lock the woman out and take control of the situation. Being a world champion equals being very busy, so I haven’t gotten to spend as much time with No Homo as I’d like. I spent time with plenty of hot women, and plenty of fresh, crisp, cash, and plenty of guys wanting to learn the secrets of the Rocksault trade. But No Homo? No sir. That changes tonight, though. Because tonight on this edition of HeldDOWN I’m bringing to you No Homo with featured characters Alix Maria Spezia, and Krista Isadora Duncan! Silver smiles. SILVER I think you’re familiar with them, six time tag team champions, America’s Sweethearts, five world championships combined, Hollywood starlets. Oh yeah you know them. Let’s roll the footage and see how good these hotties look in video game form.ALIX MARIA SPEZIA SILVER Fantastic. For those of you who thought Downs Syndrome people were always ugly with vacant expressions, look no further than Alix Maria Spezia to see that mentally handicapped people are hot even in video game form. Usually they’re kind of portly, and have fat legs and arms and faces, but as we can see Alix proves that stereotype isn’t always true. Her stats are very good across the board. To hell with special olympics, if she wasn’t a retard she could compete in the regular olympics. Silver has another hearty chuckle. SILVER Moving on! We come to Krista Isadora Duncan, fitness queen. Your mom probably owns some of her fitness tapes, and now you can own her in videogame form…KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN SILVER What a beautiful character model! A work of art! Better than the real thing? Probably not, but gorgeous none the less. The developers are to be commended. The greatness even extends to her stats. 99’s all over the place. There’s no way your defeating her. Maybe if your Moneymaker or Mister Dick, you might luck into it. But if you’re anyone else? Give up all hope ye who enter. That is unless you download the Jason Silver DLC and select, your’s truly, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Silver pats his belt. SILVER If you pick Rocksault, the impossible becomes possible! You can submit Krista Isadora Duncan in the middle of the OAOAST ring! Do it at Angleslam, School’s Out, Halloween Spectacular, anywhere you want, but you can only do it with Rocksault. How would I know? Because I did the deed this past Sunday at Anglepalooza. Not on a videogame. On the real thing! I became the only man in history to submit Krista Isadora Duncan. Think about that for a moment. Just think of everyone she’s faced, and then I come in and I submit her. Do you know what that makes me? It makes me the greatest world champion of ALL TIME! Nobdy has ever done what I what did. They didn’t climb the mountain that I climbed, and I made myself a legend in one match. Zack? That preppy shithead has never submitted Krista. Leon Rodez? Can’t even beat her and he’s faced her almost ten times. Tony Branningan? Old man never even came close. I beat the unbeatable woman, and I did it by submission. That makes me a GOD to you people! ALIX (VO) Jason! SILVER KRISTA (VO) Jason! Suddenly Alix and Krista appear on screen from elsewhere in the arena. ALIX This isn’t the priest that molested you, its safe to look! SILVER What are you doing?! This is my time! Keep the screen on me! I’m the champion! ALIX You wanna say I’m stupid? Yeah, right, I’m the genius who figured out how snow works! KRISTA What? That’s not how the script goes. ALIX Improv, baby, wave of the future! Yeah so King Jesus lays out this huge line of cocaine in heaven, and he invites all his buddies, Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrisson, Yokozuna, the guy from the Graduate- KRISTA Dustin Hoffman isn’t dead! ALIX And they all party and shit, but then Jesus’ dad, God, bursts into the room and he’s all like “What the hell is this shit? You live in my house and you live by my rules! And my rules say NO COCAINE, and fuck your bum ass friends!” And Jesus is all like “Screw you, dad!” And God is all like “Honor thy mother and they father, read the ten commandments, jackass!” And Jesus goes “Fuck you, I’m gonna go live with Mom!” and God is all like “Your mother is a damn whore, and I’m sorry I impregnanted the virgin slut!” and Jesus is all angry and he overturns the table with the cocaine and it trinkles down to earth as snow. But back in heaven, Jesus and God start brawling and stuff, and Cobain is like “We should go”, but Hendrix is like “Naw, man, this is cool.” KRISTA Maybe, you are the smart one, Jason. ALIX Negative! I have acquired proof of Jason’s stupidity and suckiness. Let’s meet David Elliot for that proof. Cut back to Silver. SILVER A man around Silver’s age appears on the screen. A bar that reads DAVID ELLIOT appears beneath him. DAVID Right. So, me and a couple buddies were over Jason’s house in tenth grade, and my girlfriend was there. We were watching How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days because my girlfriend wanted to. She’s over there giving me a hand job, under the covers so no one knows. Jason is giving her shit about the movie, telling her it sucks, telling her she has bad taste in movies, just basically giving her a hard time. So after the movie is over, she gets up and with a handful of my cum SLAPS Jason in the face! So now he has my cum all over his cheek! Well, he gets up and takes a swing at my girl. She ducks and this idiot falls into the salsa and dip. So he rolls off the table and onto the floor covered in salsa, dip, and cum. And then his dog proceeds to lick the crap off him. I’ve never laughed so long or so hard in my life. Cut back to Silver SILVER Damn it, David! You promised you’d never tell that story to anyone! We took an oath! An oath! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fu….I mean…that never happened, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Cut back to Krista and Alix. KRISTA I know you have the attention span of an fourth grader hyped up on Children’s cough medicine and Elmer’s glue- ALIX My drugs of choice! KRISTA But pay attention. I hear you bragging about making me tap out. As if a two hundred thirty pound man submitting a one hundred fifty pound, thirty eight year old mother of two is something to be proud of. Perhaps if your Ben Rothelesberger or OJ Simpson, but not if you’re a decent human being. But, you made me submit. Congrats. Do you want to know why you made me submit? Its not that you’re better than me, you’re clearly not, its not that your hold is too unbearable to stand, that would be your god awful promos, no its because I live the life you only dream about. No, not the life of a big beautiful Cambodian prostitute, I’m talking about the life of an actual celebrity. While you’re mingling with fat chicks outside your local Fudruckers who are actually impressed by the title of Pro Wrestling World Champion, I’m mingling with…no, I’m so big, I don’t name drop, I get name dropped. While you’re counting out the pennies you received hawking your worthless autograph at a wrestling show in a high school gym, I’m counting the millions I just made off my latest book. While you’re wondering if you’ll have make the OAOAST Hall of Fame which includes a talking fish and the cow Popick wreslted, I’m busy forgetting I’m a member of the walk of fame. ALIX True story, b. No Limit studios, wassup! KRISTA While you sit in your mother’s basement, holding your shriveled pale penis in one hand, and tissue papers in the other, as you watch a grainy gif of Alix grinding her body, I have three fingers up inside that very same body and I have those gorgeous lips purring in pleasure. ALIX Just an average night in Jade’s room when she’s not around. KRISTA The girl has a giant mirror in front of her bed, and if there's one thing I like almost as much staring at Alix naked, its staring at me naked. So Jason, while your family may consist of the hobos who blow you in your Nissian Versa, my family includes two beautiful daughters, and a great girlfriend. So that is why I tapped out. Unlike you, who has no future, no hope, and no life, I actually have things to live for. I can’t afford to be laid up in a hospital because someone who looks like fetal alcohol syndrome decided that mommy didn’t love him enough so he had to choke me out. I have a family to take care of, I have a business to run, I have a life to lead, and if I didn’t tap out, that was going to be taken away from me. So congratulations, you found my weakness, the fact that I’m not a massive underachieving failure, who couldn’t in three years even get called up into the wrestling company that bore his uncle’s name such as yourself. Well done. But, because you have decided to hang your hat on your lone accomplishment in life, making me submit, I have no choice but to commence further burying of you. As such I will have to submit YOU. Until that time comes please enjoy this parting gift. Cut back to Silver. SILVER Parting gift?Melody slams a PIE in Silver’s face! SILVER MELODY That’ll teach you to lock me out from my own 360! Melody runs out the room as Silver starts blindly swinging in rage. COLE The champion got his, shall we say just deserts! Heheheh. COACH I oughta bitch slap you to the moonCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Inside the interview lounge.... We find Terry Taylor standing with Biffman and Tim Cash. TERRY Terry Taylor here with Biffman and Tim Cash, brand new one and only world tag team champions! Guys, its great to see you with the belts. CASH Thanks, Terry, your support and the support of all our great fans means a lot. TERRY Tim, tell us what brought you to the tag team championships. CASH I'm ashamed to say it, Terry, but it was rage. I sat in the lockeroom and I saw what the Deadly Alliance did to my friend Baron, piledriving him through a toilet, and I was filled with that very base emotion. I wanted payback, and so I immediatley marched to Alfdogg's office to ask for it. Thankfully he calmed me down, and helped me get back to my kinder self. But even with a clear head, I knew that the DA had to pay. Justice had to be served. BIFFMAN And that's where I came in, Citizen Terry. Bad things often happen to good men. That's what a superhero is for, to prevent such things from happening. I didn't stop Reject from doing that evil deed to Citizen Baron, but I knew I could help Citizen Timothy bring much needed justice to the OAOAST. I immediately volunteered my heroic services, and Alfdogg made the tag title match. CASH The rest is history as they say. Abdullah Abir Nerdly walks onto the screen, wearing a wide, delighted smile, behind him is Holly. ABDULLAH And what history it is! Biffman tag team champion! My brothers it was a fine day witnessing one god's must powerful servants deliver joy to the heart of his most humble servant, myself Abdullah Abir Nerdly. However, my children, I am not the only one who has found themselves elated over Biffman's wonderous triumph! Sister Holly, has seen the proverbial light and has come to salute your greatness! HOLLY Yeah talked to Logan, and he said as long as your champion, you can bend me over and (beep) me anytime you want. You can even wear that shitty mask as long as you (beep) me hard and good. BIFFMAN ABDULLAH Brother Biffman, what say you to my offer to join hands and celebrate god's greatness as a member of the Church of Abdullah? BIFFMAN Citizen Abdullah, I thank you for your offer, but I'm still considering it at this time. I will give you my answer when I'm ready. ABDULLAH Of course, my child. Abdullah and Holly bid Biffman farewell, with Holly giving him a "fuck me" stare. CASH What a most...interesting group of people. TERRY That's one word for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "Skills" by Beatbullyz hits and the masked underdogs, J-MAX and Mariachi, make their way to the ring for Anderson Cup action. BUFFER The following contest is an Anderson Cup Conference Semi Final Match, set for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of three hundred and fifty pounds... they are the team of MMAAAAAARRRRIIIIIAAAAAACCHHHIIIIIIIIIIIII... and "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" J-MMMMMAAAAAAAXXXXX!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE And as J-MAX and Mariachi make their way to the ring, let's take you back and show you how they made it here, an upset win over James Blonde and Faqu a few weeks ago...As Faqu slowly walks back to his corner, Blonde tosses J-MAX aside and focuses his attentions on Mariachi. Scooping him up, Blonde hits a big body slam. He then waves the referee aside, looking to use the ropes to finish Mariachi off with the big Lionsault... ...NOBODY HOME!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Blonde crashes and burns. Seconds later, Faqu crashes too, right to the outside as J-MAX hits a running dropkick from behind and knocks him through the ropes to the floor! COLE Blonde missed! This is the chance for Mariachi and J-MAX! The King looks on in disbelief, as Blonde hobbles around doubled up in pain. He walks into a boot from Mariachi, who hooks up the arms and drops to his knees, hitting the SHEEP DIP!! COLE LOOKIT... J-MAX, GOING UP TOP! COACH OH NO! Megan points high up to J-MAX, as Blonde is planted right in perfect position for the Birmingham Bad Boy to fly! The crowd rise to their feet expecting something big. And J-MAX doesn't disappoint, Taking It To The MAX with the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE COVER! 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH WHAT!? WHAT!?! COLE A big-time win for J-MAX and Mariachi. And the tensions continue to boil within the Cucaracha Kingdom since that defeat. COACH Well JB dropped the ball, let's call it how it is. He let his King down. And King Landon has a right to be mad. COLE At least that set-up to rob Nathaniel Black in the Lethal Rumble came off for him. As J-MAX and Mariachi limber up, "Heart Shaped Box" begins to play to a round of boos. The band's all here, Logan and Synth accompanied by Abdullah, Quiz and a sour-faced Holly. Logan swaggers out in front with a Scott Hall walk, Synth with a big, enlightened smile on his face in the background. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents, the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... also accompanied to the ring by HOLLY and their bodyguard QUIZ... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR... LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HHHEEEEEEEAAAAAVVVEEEEENNLLLLYYYYYYYY... RRRRRRROOOOOOOCCKKEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Former multiple time World Tag Team Champions. One of the all-time great tag teams in the history of the OAOAST. The Heavenly Rockers, looking to climb back up the ladder and head back to AngleMania one more time. Logan climbs the steps with a confident nod of his head and it seems The Rockers are in high spirits as they enter the ring. COLE Coach, any comment on what we saw moments ago, Abdullah apparantly interested in bringing Biffman into the fold? COACH I don't get it, but I trust Abdullah whole heartedly. Maybe Abdullah believes in rejuvination and newfound power. He was a loser in life once too, you know. COLEOnce? *DINGDINGDING* Bell sounds and with a high-five it's Logan to start, with J-MAX. Big smile, Logan strolls right up to J-MAX and after some trashtalk, he piefaces the masked man! COLE History between The Heavenly Rockers and J-MAX. Logan and Synth were the ones who hounded J-MAX into this transformation of character. COACH Yeah, they humbled him so bad he's hiding under a mask. Hey, Vegas, gimme $50 on the little punk coward under the hood! Not! Logan and Synth share a laugh, but it's soon wiped off Logan's face as J-MAX cracks him in the knee with a kick! Kicks keep flying, hobbling up Logan and giving him the run around. Eventually one big kick flips Logan up and over, forcing him to roll out of the ring to regroup! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Dare I say, a cowardly move from Logan? COACH Shut up. Limping around on the floor, Logan's good mood has been ruined and he storms back in, aiming at J-MAX with a clothesline. The masked man ducks and catches Logan up under the jaw with a jumping knee in response! Logan goes staggering back, getting whipped to the ropes by J-MAX. Leapfrog by J-MAX is followed with a high dropkick. Cover... 1... 2... No! Up quick, Logan misses with another clothesline and gets rolled up... 1... 2... No! COLE J-MAX, just too quick! Not quick enough to land with a punch though. Ducking under, Logan pops up and grabs J-MAX from behind. Synth takes his cue and rushes in... to clothesline Logan by mistake! HOLLY Oh for (beep) sake! Synth helps his bandmate up and as they regroup, Mariachi sneaks in and applies a DOUBLE ASS CLAW!! LOGAN AND SYNTH :o A pair of knees break the grab-assing and free the Rockers. Logan and Synth then grab Mariachi, whipping him towards their corner. Mariachi slides out of danger though and the Rockers look up to see J-MAX soaring off the top with a DOUBLE CROSSBODY!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Logan and Synth roll outside and the masked men celebrate, to Holly's fury. COLE J-MAX and Mariachi are ROLLING! Trying to catch their collective breath, Logan and Synth are relieved to have Abdullah and Holly come over to check on them. Except, only one of them seems concerned about their well-being. Holly, not concerned, SHOVES Synth and PUNCHES Logan in the arm! HOLLY You (beep)(beep) stupid (beep)ing (beep)ers!! Get your (beep) together!! What the (beep) is (beep)ing wrong with you!? Are you (beeping) pussies or what!? If you don't (beep)ing get back in that (beep)ing ring and take care of (beep) right now, I will kick both of your (beep)ing asses myself! Do you (beep)ing understand!?! COACH A peptalk there, from Holly. Not wanting to get their (beep)ing asses kicked by Holly, Logan and Synth return to the action. And Logan manages to cut J-MAX off with a knee to the gut. Which appeases Holly a little. Logan clubs away on J-MAX, making a tag to Synth to set up a double whip. They score with a double elbow and Synth covers... 1... 2... No! Synth catches J-MAX with a bodyblow that rocks him against the ropes, giving him a second to look for approval on the floor. Of course, Abdullah provides. Which is lucky, because it distracts from the scowl Holly is still giving him. Synth whips J-MAX to the ropes and tries a sideslam, but the Brit counters with a headscissors into a DDT!! COLE WOW! Great counter move! Cover by J-MAX... 1... 2... No! Setting, J-MAX connects with a dropkick, sending Synth outside. COLE Could be time to fly here! With Synth shaken J-MAX launches himself over the top rope... ...but Synth scurries out of the way! And although J-MAX manages to land on his feet on the outside, he ends up getting CLOTHESLINED BY QUIZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Clothesline! And Logan, distracting the referee, he didn't see a thing! COACH I guess you could say the only rock n' wrestling band that matters were in tune with each other on that one. Synth bundles J-MAX inside, the ref none the wiser and happy to count the fall... 1... 2... Kickout! Tag made, the Rockers whipping J-MAX in for a double team H BOMB~! Logan hooks the leg... 1... 2... SAVE BY MARIACHI!! COACH Get that pest out of there. Holly shares the same concern, although with far more crude language. Logan works over J-MAX in the corner, attacking the head and the body with jabs. He then whips J-MAX across, charging in behind but running into a raised boot! J-MAX climbs to the middle rope, knocking Synth away as he tries to run interference from the apron. But J-MAX gets caught in mid-dive with a POWERSLAM!! 1... 2... NO!! HOLLY Come on you (beep) for brains (beep)sucker! COLE I think you can fill in the blanks at home, folks. The Heavenly Rockers tag again, Mariachi still stranded out on the apron. Logan holds J-MAX, allowing Synth to come off the middle rope with a headbutt to the face. Goggle-assisted, of course. COACH Moves like that are when that mask comes in useful. Synth delivers a suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Stomping away, Synth takes a moment to stop and give thanks to the heavens for his dominance in the match. Synth then whips J-MAX to the corner. As he charges in though, J-MAX slips through the ropes! Synth hits the turnbuckles chest first, then gets hit with the Pendulum Kick! COLE "Ze goggles do nothing" to block that kick! COACH A Simpsons reference? Wow. You might get a pity fuck from Melody for that. Dazed but not down, Synth goes after J-MAX. The elusive masked man leaps up and over both the rope and Synth to escape. Touching down, J-MAX runs under a clothesline attempt and scores with a Busaiku Knee Kick!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE Both men down. Time to tag! Both Synth and J-MAX crawl to their corners... ...and both MAKE THE TAG! COLE And Mariachi in for the first time, he's raring to go! Mariachi rushes in and nails Logan with a flying forearm! Hopping up, he delivers a second flying forearm! And a third one! Mariachi is fired up and starts rubbing himself in excitement! COLE Ew! Irish whip is reversed by Logan, but he puts his head down and Mariachi rolls over his back. Logan turns around into a spinning wheel kick and is covered... 1... 2... NO! Mariachi goes to hit the ropes, but runs into a boot from Synth. Still a little woozy though, Synth's attempt to grab a waistlock fail and Mariachi reverses, giving him a slap on the ass before shoving him into Logan! COLE Ooh! And the Rockers clock heads! Both Rockers go down and Mariachi has a choice of men to go after. Always good. He backs Synth into a corner, forearming away before tripping him up. With Synth sat against the bottom turnbuckle, the horny luchador gives him a kick to the face! Grabbing the top rope, Mariachi climbs to the middle. He leaps up, pushing himself high into the air, almost into a headstand... and swings himself crotch-first into Synth's face!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That was the biggest bronco buster I've ever seen! COACH Not the first and not the last though. With Synth a mixture of dazed and disgusted, Mariachi delivers a boot and sets up for the Sheep Dip... ...but a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! from Logan KOs him!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Poor Mariachi didn't see that one coming. Logan is pleased with himself, until J-MAX spins him around and delivers a spinwheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... SYNTH BREAKS IT UP! COACH Come on ref, he's not legal! COLE Fair point. But this match has broken down, referee struggling to keep up. The Rockers team up and wear down J-MAX, setting him up for another double whip. This time J-MAX manages to counter, vaulting over the top rope rather than rebounding off it. Synth gets baited in and goes flying over the top, J-MAX pulling the rope down on him. Logan tries to capitalise, but J-MAX blocks and hangs him over the top neck-first! COLE Look out! Logan falls in position for J-MAX, who leaps to the top and nails a SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Before J-MAX can cover though, Synth yanks him to the floor and sends him into the barricade. COLE Well there you go Coach, Logan and Mariachi, the two legal men, left in the ring. COACH The damage has been done. Both Logan and Mariachi are slow to their feet, allowing Synth to spring into action. He grabs the good book and prepares to put it to some good use, which doesn't sit well with the referee. That provides the distraction, as Mariachi lurks behind Logan, allowing QUIZ to sneak in! COLE Now he is most definitely NOT the legal man! Quiz spins Mariachi around and grabs him by the throat! HOLLY Do it! (beep) him! (beep) him! Perhaps giving ideas to the wrong person, Mariachi manages to kick Quiz low and lock him in an EROTIC KISS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Mariachi bagged himself a beefcake!! COACH This is the gheyest thing I've ever seen! Mariachi breaks the liplock and Quiz bails, beside himself at the molestation he's suffered. But his contribution doesn't go to waste, as Logan is able to hit a SUCKER PUNCH on Mariachi and deliver the PERCUSSION DDT!!! *WHAM!* Cover by Logan... 1... 2... 3!!!! COLE And The Rockers will advance and avoid the upset! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, advancing in the 2011 Anderson Cup... THE HHHEEEEAAAVVEEEENNLLLYYYY RRRROOOOCCKKEEEEERRRRSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Synth and Abdullah embrace on the floor in joyous reverance as Logan bails out and celebrates the win. COACH Praise be, praise be! Continuing to throw up in his mouth, a nauseous Quiz is patted on the back by Logan. Happy to have won, no matter who had to get violated along the way. COLE No fairytale for J-MAX and Mariachi tonight... COACH No, just one fairy. COLE The Heavenly Rockers avoid an ass-kicking from Holly and are one step closer to another shot at AngleMania and the World Tag Team Titles. D*LUX wait for them and the winners of that match are heading for the Anderson Cup Final. Two more to go and the Rockers are back on the big stage. And the celebrations match the moment, The Rockers raising their hands in victory as Abdullah dancing jubilantly in the background, around a doubled-up Quiz. Suddenly and without warning (aside from the static, I guess), the show is interrupted by what looks like shaky handheld footage. Despite it being both dark and unsteady camera work, we can eventually pick out that it's LEON RODEZ who's breath and footsteps we can hear. Pacing quickly, Leon holds the camera up to his face as he makes his way spritely through unfamiliar corridors and secluded areas of a building. LEON (slightly out of breath) Tonight... tonight you got the first taste. You made one very... big mistake. You took an ally... and you turned him into an enemy. And then... you just expected me to disappear. To sit back... and to take it. You know what... all you had to do was say the word. I'd have helped you deal with Malibu. I'd have gladly helped. I'd have even held back his arms while you finally slit his throat, if I thought it'd make me feel better. But I'd never have trusted you. Never. Because everybody screws me over in the end. You caught me at a time of weakness... and we know who's fault that is. But you got greedy. And you made the wrong enemy... because, now... now, I'm more miserable than ever. And the only way for me to deal with my misery... is to make everybody responsible suffer. I'm not going away. I'm not disappearing. I'm just... getting... started. I'm going to get back what's mine... and I'm going to see that everything you're after comes crashing down around you... not because it's the right thing to do... not because I care about this company, or the people in it, because believe me I don't care about a single one! I'm going to do it... because I want to watch you fall to your knees in anguish... and feel the pain you put me through. Like I said... you made the wrong enemy. Because believe me... I mean it. You thought worrying bout Malibu was bad... I will sink to depths he wouldn't dream of... because I just flat out don't care. Watch your backs. Until I get what I want... I'll always be just a step away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break with our view focused on legendary ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of twenty minutes…. “Like The Angel” by Rise Against plays to a solid reaction from the Universal Studios audience. Rushing out from the backstage area is MEL, attired in an Orange jacket and blue wrestling tights with a star studded MEL down the right leg in bright orange. At his side is queen of the geeks, his sister Melody Nerdly! BUFFER Now making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Melody Nerdly, he weighs in at one hundred eighty five pounds, hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, he is MEEEEEEEEELLLLLL!!!! MEL flashes the Nerdly trademark RAWK~! hand signal to the cheering studio audience. COLE This match being made due to Melody Nerdly slamming a pie in Jason Silver’s face as a “gift” from Krista and a “thank you” for locking her out from her own Xbox. “Don’t Stop” by Innerparty System plays and Jason Silver, with pie still on his face, runs with furious intent to the ring. COACH That girl signed her brother’s death warrant! Look how pissed the world champion is! DING DING DING An outraged Silver runs across the ring at MEL. He tries to cut down the Nerdly twin with a lariat, but MEL swings behind him and secures a waistlock. The skater then throws Silver down to the ground, swinging out to his front to grab a front facelock. COLE I can’t believe he still has the pie on his face. Well, if he didn’t wipe semen off I guess he won’t wipe pie. COACH You heard Rocksault, that never happened! Silver pushes himself upright with the hold on his face still applied. He slams a series of punches into MEL’s gut, trying his hardest to break MEL’s grip. However, he doesn’t succeed and MEL drags him back down to the canvas. COLE Silver proved a lot by beating Krista, but he can’t overlook MEL in all his new found bravado. Silver squirms within the hold, growing more and more frustrated by the second. Finally he summons a burst of strength and pushes his way through MEL’s bonds. He quickly hops to his feet, expecting to be able to nail MEL with a procession of punches. However, MEL merely takes Silver down to the canvas with a side headlock takedown. On the outside Melody further infuriates Silver by snapping a picture of him with her iPhone. COACH That bitch has got to be the most annoying ho on the block. Silver succeeds in pushing his way off the mat. His hands fall around MEL’s slim waist and he shoves the former tag champion into the ropes. Problematically, MEL comes roaring back with an elbow that twists Silver around 180 degrees! This allows MEL to nail Silver with a dropkick to the back! Silver stumbles into the ropes, dazed and weak. The cables spit him back into a victory roll from the skater… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Silver rolls to his feet, only to be nailed in the stomach by a knee from MEL. The Edmonton native signals to the crowd then runs the ropes. As the comes back, he strikes Silver in the face with a spinning wheel kick! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Silver rolls out onto the apron to take a much needed breather. But he gets no rest for his exhausted body as MEL darts over to him. Reaching through the ropes, MEL pulls Silver up. But Silver surprises him by driving him neckfirst into the ring ropes! MELODY That’s cheating! And cheaters never win! Silver yells at Melody to keep her mouth shut as he takes his rest. The front row fans get on his case, but Rocksault ignores them as he climbs back onto the ring apron. However they grow to annoying to keep neglecting, and Silver barks for their silence. Taking his eye off of MEL is unwise, however, as the skater runs forward and shoulder blocks Silver in the midsection! COLE Silver paying the price for getting distracted by the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Can you blame him? These people haven’t shown him an inch of respect even though he became the first man to submit Krista. MEL grabs hold of Silver’s stringy hair and runs him along the ring apron, in hopes of slamming his face against the posts. But Silver blocks the attack, and its MEL’s who’s face meets the turnbuckle. MELODY Oh noes~!!1!1!!! Silver climbs to the top rope, while MEL remains dizzied in front of him. The champion spits trash at the audience before coming off the top to floor MEL with a top rope lariat! MEL is crashed into the canvas, and Silver sits on top of him for a pin… ONE! TWO! MEL gets his shoulder off the canvas. He rolls to the ropes and uses them to pull himself upright. This proves to be his downfall. Silver runs forward and lariats him over the top rope and to the outside. MEL lands in front of his concerned sister. COACH Jason Silver missed out on The Lethal Rumble, now he gets his chance to knock dudes over the ropes. Silver exits the ring, and jaw jacks with the crowd upon reaching the outside mats. As the fans deride him, he grabs MEL by the seat of his orange trunks. He hurls MEL forward crashing him into the blue steel steps! COLE And MEL’s shoulder just being rammed into the steel steps. Jason Silver is not afraid to skirt the rules, folks. Silver stomps on MEL’s prone body, savagely driving his boots into his midsection. When that gets tiresome, he picks up the dislodged staircase. The audience boos, all to aware of Silver’s plan. COLE This has got to be a DQ! Get in there, ref, and make him stop! Silver drops the steel stair case on the floor, thanks to a timely low blow by Melody! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Rocksault swings around, ready to cause Melody serious injury. In protection Melody produces the TIRFORCE from Legend Of Zelda. COACH Damn, if it weren’t for her breasts this girl would be a waste of life. Silver never gets a chance to attack Melody, due to her brother clubbing him from behind. MEL grabs Silver inside a front facelock and then suplexes him onto the steel barricade. Silver howls in miserey as the fans cheer that very pain. While Silver struggles to break free, MEL hops onto the ring apron. He smokes some “air weed” to the delight of the audience, and then leaps off to strike Silver in the back with his leg! Silver falls flat onto the outside mats, causing Melody to thank the power of the Triforce. COLE That’s kind of high risk offense you’ll see only on HeldDOWN~! COACH You are such a corporate whore. MEL grabs Silver by the seat of his tights and dumps him back into the ring. The skater follows him inside in order to hook the legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! No! COLE Oh! I thought we had a winner. COACH Ain’t no way MEL’s getting the upset win. COLE Would it be an upset though? MEL is a young veteran and Silver is just a rookie. COACH He’s a rookie with the world title around his waist. Silver gets to his feet under his own power, but is tagged with right hands from MEL! The skater then runs to the ropes, coming back with a lariat! But Silver ducks beneath the attack and hook MEL’s arms in an attempt to hit a backslide. However, MEL uses his expert agility to flip out the hold! COLE Nice! Silver is furious at MEL’s escape and lunges at him with a lariat! This time its MEL who ducks the attack and snaps his arms around Rocksault’s. Unlike MEL, Silver can’t counter and is dragged down by a backslide… ONE! TWO! Silver falls out the pinfall! COLE Another close pinfall! Rocksault has got to get his concentration going and focus. Silver and MEL reach their feet and the same time, and begin trading blows. Silver swings for the fences with a spinning elbow, but MEL ducks and as Silver makes a 360 turn, he’s nailed in the stomach by MEL’s knee. The skater boy then leaps upwards and nails a fameasser! COLE Noseplant! Silver is forced onto his back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Silver lifts his shoulder up! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH The fans can boo all they want, but that wasn’t even close to a three. Silver rolls to his feet, and fends off MEL with a pair of elbows. MEL is staggered, and as such Silver attempts to whip him into the corner. But MEL reverses the attack and its Silver who is sent to the corner. MEL follows up with flying corner clothesline! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans revel in delight, as Silver staggers out the corner and falls onto the canvas. MEL sees Silver’s vulnerable position as an opportunity to go for the victory. He scrambles to the top rope, giving the fans another reason to cheer. The smoke weed sign is made once again, before MEL flies off with a shooting star press! BUT SILVER MOVES OUT THE WAY! COACH Hahahahaah! That nigga just crashed and burned! Silver scrapes MEL off the canvas and foists him onto his shoulders. MEL tries to wiggle free, but its to no avail and he’s slammed downwards! COLE MEL just got shot with a Silver Bullet! COACH And you know what’s coming next! Silver wraps MEL into the dragon clutch submission hold known as the 16th minute. Though he’d like to fight out, the pain is immediately too much to tolerate and MEL taps out! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a submission….JASON SILVER! The referee pries Silver away from his unlucky victim. But its Silver who quickly becomes the victim as KRISTA spears him to the ground! COLE Its Krista! The fans leap to the their feet and cheer wildly as Krista hammers a grounded Silver with elbows. The world champion fights back by throwing his arms up in his defense. But all this does is allow Krista to snap a grip on his forearm and twist it as if turning a key! COLE Keylock! Krista has a keylock! “TAP! TAP! TAP!“ Silver is about to do just that, when the referee interjects and pulls Krista away from the world champion. Fearing for his safety, Silver quickly retreats to the outside. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans complain as Krista does the same. Silver gathers up his world title and holds it high in the air to try and show some semblance of pride. But the look on his face shows he knows how close he came to submitting.FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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