Jump to content
OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/22/11


Tony149

Recommended Posts

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA

We go straight to Sofa Central where...

coachcole.jpg
A REUNITED DOUBLE C AWAITS

COLE
Folks, its good to be back! I am Michael Cole, feeling fresh and invigorated and happy to be back on OAOAST HeldDOWN~! My thanks go out to Tony Brannigan for filling in for me, and for all you fans that sent me well wishes during my time out.

COACH
Nigga, ain't no one sent you nothing but a letter bomb.

COLE
And of course my partner as always is Da Coach! Coach, we've got three major tag team matches tonight!

ANDERSON CUP QUARTERFINALS
J-MAX AND MARIACHI VS JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU

ANDERSON CUP QUARTERFINALS
THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND VS MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT
ZACK MALIBU AND DENZEL SPENCER VS PIERCE DUNCAN AND JAMES RIGGS

COACH
Hells yeah baby boy, this show is gonna be off the chain!

Hey, hey, you, you
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend!

“YEAAAAAAAAAA!”

Hey, hey, you, you!
I know that you like me!
No way, no way!
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you!!
I want to be your girlfriend!

Mammoth cheers await everyone’s favorite Hollywood lesbian couple, Chicks Over Dicks. The girls skip to the ring arm and arm.

COLE
Here’s another thing I missed, Alix and Krista coming out to no doubt humiliate someone who isn’t me!

America’s Sweethearts are given microphones upon entering the ring.

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

KRISTA
Hey there, Hartford! What did you do this past weekend? Did you cash your paycheck and head on down to the street corner to find your favorite whore, only to find that Christian Wright’s mother had been arrested for sneaking crack across the border to Canada in that vast toxic wasteland known as her vagina?

ALIX
Maybe, you were over your mom’s house, and your dad’s best friend, Pedro, was there and your dad wasn’t there because he just got arrested, and Pedro and your mom went into her room for a little bit, and you just stayed downstairs watching a Full House marathon, but then you could hear this noise, like someone was jumping on the bed, and you heard all this moaning and stuff. And you go upstairs and you hear that the moaning is coming out of your mom’s room. And you open the door up and your mom gets all shocked, and starts yelling, but Pedro is all smiling and stuff, and he ask you to open up a box of something called a Condom, which are these weird thick balloons. And you ask how do I blow this up? And he says you need an air pump! But you don’t have an air pump anywhere in the house, not since you overdosed on helium. But Pedro says he has one in his pants. And he pulls down his boxers, and his air pump is there and its all flabby and small. And he says you have to get it full of air first. And how you do it is with your hands. So you start rubbing your hands up and down it, and it keeps getting bigger, and he keeps shouting “faster, Alix faster, Alix”  Then he grabs you by the waist and bends you over and his air pump is rubbing really hard against your wabbit tail, and he’s shouting “Oh Alix, oh Alix!” Until finally it gets really small again, and your mom is smiling at you and saying “That’s my little girl!”

KRISTA
And you wonder why I don’t let you around your family without armed security guards and a female chastity belt. So, while some of you may have spent the weekend getting molested while your mother watched high on Raid, Alix and I spent it at the Golden Globes. That’s your cue to cheer, that we’re rich and famous, while our OAOAST brethren such as Rico are so poor he has to sell his kidney on the blackmarket to afford his Kenyan mail order bride with a peg leg. At said Golden Globes, there were superstars, celebrities, luminaries, and there was Ricky Gervais. What can I say about him that a case of inflammatory hemmorids hasn’t?  

COACH
I happen to be a fan of Ricky Gervais’ comedic stylings.

KRISTA
Regardless, Alix and I were there. Strangely enough security wasn’t happy with us.  Never mind the fact that Melody texted Alix that the Golden Globe awards contained enough Plutonium to finally finish their life-life time traveling DeLorean and Alix tried to steal them all.

ALIX
Hey, I thought I could go back in time and undo the travesty of my movie not getting any recognition.

KRISTA
Your “movie” is a video of a drunk falling down the stairs of a dive bar and landing in a puddle of cat pee set to the music of the Bay City Rollers. Now, if I may continue. Security wasn’t happy to see us back up a moving track on the red carpet. Said it was some sort of terrorist threat.  As if I needed terrorism to kill Ricky Gervais. All I need is to make his fat ass walk a mile from his car to the donut shop he no doubt inhales every morning. And why would I blow up anything that features Natalie Portman?

ALIX
Unless you’re blowing up a nude picture of her to cosmic proportions!

KIRSTA
Correct. So what was in that moving truck, you might ask?

ALIX
I could tell you it would be a gang of starving Hatians, carrying pitchforks and knives come to hold the show hostage until I get my guest appearance on Glee! Or maybe it’s the teeth Krista knocked out of that poor reporter who asked her if she felt old having two kids old enough to wrestle.

KRISTA
Nah I keep those next to the teeth I knocked out of Ned, the first time we made love. For some reason he loved me to slap him when we made love. Or maybe I loved to slap to him when we made love. And when we ate dinner. And when we watched a movie. And when we went golfing. And when we filed for divorce. Regardless, what was in that moving truck was some of Jason Silver’s personal items that we did him the favor of removing from his house last week. It was our intention to sell those items to everyone in attendance to benefit a good cause: “The buy Krista some more cute shoes foundation”

ALIX
Which has already raised fifteen dollars, by Krista distracting a homeless person with tales of her days in Vietnam and me going into their cup and stealing their change!

KRISTA
But alas and alack, no one seemed to want to buy the used items from an obscure, barely known, hardly famous, irrelevant, borderline non existent, never heard of, minor league, professional wrestler. And who can blame them? If you’re Jake Gyllenhaal would you really want the used underwear of a guy who’s proud to be the nephew of a man who looks like a gigantic penis? I wouldn’t!

ALIX
Sooooooooooooo, if celebs if the crap is too good for celebs, we figured it can’t be too good for normal people. Uh, no offense or anything. So, like, you’ve got your chance to bid on an own authentic merchandise from Jeffery Silver.

KRISTA
John Silver.

ALIX
I thought it was Jordan Silver.

KIRSTA
Maybe its, Jacob Silver?

ALIX
Could it be Jasper Silver?

KRISTA
Oh who cares, he’ll be arrested for soliciting an underage prostitute and be fired in a few months anyway.  Wheel out the crap!

Dollies arrive on stage, housing numerous moving boxes full of Jason Silver’s possessions.  The first item Krista pulls out the boxes is a model train set.

KRISTA
A model train set? Perhaps a way to say I’m astute, I’m creative, I’m endeavoring,

ALIX
And I’m never getting laid!

KRISTA
In that case you can have it, Coach.

COLE
:lol:

KRISTA
What’s up next?

Krista digs into one of the boxes and pulls out a small bamboo screen.

KRISTA
Some weird bamboo stuff, good if you want to throw a Tiki party.

ALIX
Or maybe if you want to express the fact you have no taste in interior decorating!

KRISTA
Roll out the next item!  

Krista is handed an ancient and well worn rug.

ALIX
It’s a rug! It smells like wet wool on a dead walrus.

by Innerparty System plays to a large chorus of boos. The entrance doors rip apart, bringing forth OAOAST World Champion Jason Silver. The young New Yorker scowls at the disrespectful audience.

SILVER
Hey! Hey! Hey! What do you think you’re doing?

KRISTA
We’re performing an archeological dig to uncover the exact evolutionary root of the Taipei Panda. What the hell does it look like we’re doing? We’re getting rid of all your stuff!

SILVER
The hell you are! I don’t know who you think you are, but I am Rocksault!

ALIX
I thought you were Jason.

SILVER
I am Jason.

ALIX
But you just said you were Rocksault?

SILVER
I am Rocksault!

ALIX
But, no you said-

SILVER
It’s a nick name, damn it! A nick name! Are you stupid or something?

KRISTA
You’re talking to a girl that thought drawing a marker over the calorie count meant she could eat as much Lucky Charms as she wanted without gaining weight. That’s not really a good question to ask.

SILVER
Rocksault is me. Part rockstar! Part brawler! All SUPERSTAR! I am larger than life! I’m larger than the solar system! When you look at me, you’re looking at a combination of Gene Simmons, The Rock, and Jesus Christ all rolled into one AWESOME package!

KRISTA
Really, because I thought I was looking at Andy Dick, a failed abortion, and AIDs all rolled into one. But I guess not.

SILVER
You will not disrespect Rocksault! You will get down on your knees and first you will worship me, then you will service me like all women should!

ALIX
Whoo-hooo! Mini hot dog! Yum Yum!

SISILVER
Mini?!!

KRISTA
Could you at least pretend your in a monogamous relationship, meaning you don’t know that I slept with Maya’s match teacher, gotta get that girl an A+ somehow.  Anyway, so what is it that you want, my good man?

SILVER
Last week you made a fool of me in my hometown. New York is a big city, but its also a small city. And I couldn’t go anywhere in Brooklyn-

KRISTA
This story is already false because it presumes you’d want to go anywhere in Brooklyn.

SILVER
Shut up! I couldn’t go anywhere in Brooklyn without someone telling me how bad you girls punked me. No one punks Rocksault! I am the OAOAST World Champion! I am a SUPERSTAR!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

SILVER
That is why, you’re going to load everything back into those trucks, and give me back what’s mine! And then you’re going to give me an apology in front of all these people.

KRISTA
Honey, you must be new around these parts. Early on here people tried to tell Krista what to do. Krista could you please not use Synth’s testicles for putting practice. Krista could you please remove the knife from Simon’s throat. Krista could you please stop grabbing Melody’s ass.  After a while, they learned that I’m rich and famous, they don’t tell me what to do, I tell them what to do. And I’m telling you, take a walk, little boy, and go show off that title you stole to someone who cares. Which judging by the tepid reaction your entrance received would be no one!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

SILVER
Go to hell! I am not going anywhere until I see moving trucks on their way back to Brooklyn. That is my shit, I own it, and I want it back. And you better give it back before I take you out!

“SILVER SUCKS! SILVER SUCKS! SILVER SUCKS!”

SILVER
Rocksault is a legend! He rules this industry! He does not suck! Now, Krista, are you going to give me my shit or what?

KRISTA
I will give you your cheap bargain bin at WAL*MART bought shit, if and only if you give me a world title shot at Anglepalooza.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

SILVER
You’re really not in the position to make demands.

James Riggs and Christopher Patrick Allen walk to Silver’s side.

SILVER
See?

KRISTA
Oh I’m not am I? Let’s see what Mister Pumpkin thinks about that statement.

Krista pulls an adorable orange stuffed bear out a moving box.

SILVER
Mister Pumpkin!

KRISTA
So you’re not going to give me my world title shot, are you?

SILVER
Don’t you dare touch him!

Krista defies Silver’s order and rips off Pumpkin’s arm!

KRISTA (in Mister Pumpkin voice)
Ahh, my arm! Why Jason! Why did you let this happen to me!

SILVER
Don’t you touch another part of his body!

The former world champion smirks as she rips away Pumpkin’s right leg.

KRISTA (in Mister Pumpkin voice)
My leg! Don’t you love me Jason? How come you didn’t protect me?

SILVER
Fine! Fine! You’ve got your world title shot at Anglepalooza.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

SILVER
Just give me back Mister Pumpkin!

Krista tosses the bear to Silver, who cradles it like it was a long lost child.

ALIX
Point to the spot on the bear where the priest touched you, Jason.

SILVER
Ah! Shut up!

We cut to commercial as Silver and his cohorts retreat to the back.

COMMERCIAL
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Before we go back to the ring, security escorts THE ENTERPRISE to a VIP table setup near the stage.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
What do we have here?

COACH
Uh, a scouting mission? Teddy and CW face the winner of our next match, dumb ass. But look at all that food. Only a man like Theodore Moneymaker could afford that.

Theodore Moneymaker and company, all dapperly attired, take their seats. A maitre d' hands Moneymaker the menu as “Motherfucker of the Year” hits.

BUFFER
OAOAST Galaxy, the following Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing the #8 seed in the Morrison Bracket. First, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the ultimate combination of beauty and beat downs… MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSIA!! Her tag team partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, and is a multi-time tag team and World heavyweight champion… MISSSSSTERRRRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Golden pyro shower Mr. Dick and Malaysia onstage while Lorelei DeCenzo and the LDC Moneygang cheer them on in the background.

COACH
Not only are they physically hot, Mr. Dick and Malaysia are hot over being seeded #8.

COLE
They only have themselves to blame. How regularly a team competed last year was taken into account when the brackets were seeded.

COACH
Mr. Dick and Malaysia WERE involved in a number of tag teams last year. They just all happened to take place outside the squared circle.

COLE
TMI.  

“Mother” by Danzig cues and the Last Kings march ringside.

BUFFER
And their opponents, from Ireland and Scotland respectively… “CELTIC THUNDER” DANNY BOY, “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAAAAAND!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Scottish Scott enters the ring and displays his spiked club high in the air for all to see. As Scott removes his leather jacket, Theodore Moneymaker flashes the universal sign of money, or “money fingers“, prompting MD and Malaysia to launch a surprise attack.  

* DINGDINGDING *

MD dumps Scott outside and then he and Malaysia pummel Danny Boy in the corner.

COLE
I think we know why the Enterprise is out here now. Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright bought themselves a trip to the conference finals. Mr. Dick and Malaysia just need to defeat the Last Kings of Scotland to collect. You saw how quick they attacked the second Moneymaker gave the signal.

COACH
Maybe it was a subtle gesture to mom and day.

COLE
The universal sign of money a subtle gesture?

COACH
To filthy rich folks like Teddy’s parents, yeah.

With his main squeeze well in control, MD decides to conduct a work out on the apron with his shake weight.

COACH
Control yourself, Cole. It’s a workout device, not a sex act you horn dog.

COLE
You’ve missed me, haven’t you?

COACH
Pervert.  

COLE
I’ll take that as a yes.

Danny reverses a corner whip and charges in… but Malaysia moves and connects with a YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHEST!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR-- NO!

Scott makes the save and then clubs his chest before returning to the apron in hope of the tag. Unfortunately for him and fans of the LKOS, it’s Malaysia and MD who tag first. And MD wastes no time unloading on Danny in the corner with sharp right jabs, all while Lorelei DeCenzo views the action through her OPERA GLASSES over at the Enterprise VIP table.

COLE
Where do the Enterprise think they’re at-- the opera?

COACH
Lorelei isn’t some bimbo, Cole. She’s got something called style.

MD calls Malaysia in and together they shoot Danny into the ropes, but he ducks a double clothesline and delivers a DOUBLE COCONUT!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Danny wrings the arm of MD and executes a springboard arm drag. MD pops to his feet and right into a standing dropkick.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Scottish Scott tags in and slams MD repeatedly, then connects with a clothesline before spotting Moneymaker at the Enterprise VIP table. Like he did to MD and Malaysia,  Moneymaker flashes the universal sign for money, causing Scott to club his chest and wail away on MD against the ropes.

COACH
Who sold out now, Cole? Scottish Scott went into beast mode after Teddy gave the signal.

COLE
The Enterprise is up to something that’s for sure.

MD reverses a whip and Malaysia nails Scott on the rebound, which he absorbs!

SCOTTISH SCOTT
(at Malaysia)
:angry:

Having taken his eye off the ball, Scott receives a FACIAL~! (discus punch) courtesy of MD. He falls out to the floor and gets slammed by Malaysia.

Again.

And again.

COACH
That’s a little payback for what the Scotsman did to Malaysia’s main squeeze earlier.

COLE
Which goes unnoticed by the official because he’s distracted by Mr. Dick. Hey ref, he doesn’t really care how the family is doing, you know.

Scott is tossed back in and then we get a tag by Malaysia, who delivers a picture perfect butterfly suplex.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Scott is rammed into the buckle and then brutalized by a series of forearm smashes in the corner, to the delight of Theodore Moneymaker at the Enterprise VIP table. The group now dining on lobster and wine.

COACH
I sure wish Teddy would send a plate over here. I’m starving.

The OAOAST Galaxy comes alive when Scott turns the tables on Malaysia, hammering her from the middle rope.

ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!

Scott pauses to place his kilt over Malaysia’s head.

TEN!!!

Scott drops down as MD charges in… and splashes Malaysia!

COLE
I don’t think Malaysia ever bit Mr. Dick’s giant dick that way.

COACH
Shut up!

Malaysia stumbles out of the corner, spins and falls on her back. Still in disbelief, MD falls victim to a TOP ROPE BULLDOG that sends him FACE-FIRST INTO MALAYSIA’S CROTCH!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

MALAYSIA
:o

COLE
I believe that says it all right there, ladies and gentlemen.  

COACH
Yeah. Danny Boy with a blatant cheap shot.

The LKOS give MD a MOHAWK TOMAHAWK, or a standing double head BUTT in layman’s terms, and then deliver DOUBLE TOP ROPE LEGDROPS onto Malaysia!

COLE
Highland Farewell!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Here are your winners, advancing to the semifinals of the Anderson Cup… “CELTIC THUNDER” DANNY BOY and “THE BRAVEHEART” SCOTTISH SCOTT… THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAAAAAND!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

The LKOS hands are raised in victory as Theodore Moneymaker claps in the background.

MONEYMAKER
:lol:

COLE
What could Theodore Moneymaker possibly be laughing about?

COACH
Only he knows. And he isn’t saying… yet.

COLE
Folks, two people with a lot to say are Queen Esther and Sophie. Maggie stands with them both backstage in the interview lounge. Maggie?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Backstage in the ultra chic, ultra modern interview lounge

01237756.jpg
MAGGIE NERDLY

stands with

3~1.jpg
SOPHIE

and

queenesther.jpg
QUEEN ESTHER

MAGGIE
What’s up, ya’ll, Maggie Nerdly “It” Girl on the scene chilling with Queen Esther and Sophie.

QUEEN ESTHER
Chilling? I do say I’m rather warm!

MAGGIE
Naw, it means we’re hanging.

QUEEN ESTHER
Dear heavens, have you gone mad, young lady? We are not suspended from any apparatus!

MAGGIE
Naw, we’re kicking it.

QUEEN ESTHER
Ah, a good game of footy! How my King loves to watch a young Spanish fellow named Fernando Torres kick the football for the English club Liverpool. Although I enjoy a good round of the beautiful game, I have to declare I prefer the exhilarating rush of fox hunting. Watching the men folk chase down those scurrying beasts, while I hold court outside with the noble ladies of the town has always been a pleasure of mine.

MAGGIE
Okay, I don’t even know why we’re here anymore.

SOPHIE
You are here to talk about me, Sophie!

MAGGIE
That’s right! Sophie, we are saw you interfere in the Queen’s match against the Maya at New Years Spectacular, and then we saw you last week out there with Queen Esther in the Anderson Cup match. What’s the deally, yo?

SOPHIE
Zhe deal is that throughout zhe history there have been many people of royal status. Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Princesses Diana, Queen Marie Antionette, King George. These are all zhe royal people over the times! Zhey have struck zhe awe inspiring presence with their kingly and queenly apperance! Behind zhe royal appearance were a team of beauticians and fashion connoisseurs making sure zhe queen or zhe king looked their royal part. Queen Esther is naturally beautiful, but her wardrobe it was how shall we say, lacking? That situation will be corrected! Now zhe Queen has zhe ultimate in fashion knowledge constructing her wardrobe and appearance, myself…Sophie! I am zhe Queen’s consultant and beautician, and I will make sure she is the fairest in the land!

MAYA (OS)
Hold on!

dc341211.gif
MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD walks onto the scene in a bad mood.

MAYA
If you’re just a beautician then why did you save Queen Esther’s fat pimple ridden butt from getting whupped by the real queen, myself!

QUEEN ESTHER
Real queen? Why, I’ve never in my life been so insulted!

SOPHIE
Because I am her fashion consultant!

MAYA
That doesn’t even makes sense! I have a hair dresser on call 24/7 like any good kid of celebrity should. And when Micah Stevens built that peep hole in the girl’s lockerroom to spy on me, did I get my hairdresser to slug him in the stomach? No, I, me, Maya, got a picture of him naked in the bathroom as a four year old playing with a Barbie and made sure it was plastered on the big screen during morning assembly! Alix has a personal shopper, but does he buy her M16s and AK47s? Actually he does, but that’s what happens when you hire a personal shopper from a group of dudes in South Central all wearing red and throwing up gang signs. My point is, you’re more than a fashion consultant. If you’re protecting the Queen from getting the beating she so richly deserves, you’re a body guard. But whatever you are, fashion consultant, hair dresser, bodyguard, communist, pornstar, I’m challenging to you a match at Anglepalooza!

QUEEN ESTHER
Ho ho ho ho! You insufferable, peasant! You’re lucky I haven’t called my knights to do away with you and banish you from my kingdom. But, if it is a fight you desire, it is a fight you shall get! Sophie would be more than happy to cross swords with you. But only if we stage this combat ritual under Duchesses of York rules.

MAYA
You can do it under Duchesses of Kiss My Cute little butt if you want, you’re on!
 
MAGGIE
Maya, do you know the rules of a Duchess of York match?

MAYA
Don’t know, don’t care. As long as I get to whup both their butts, I’m a happy highschooler.

COMING UP NEXT
DAVID VS GOLIATH
BOHEMOTH VS MORGAN NERDLY

COMMERCIAL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We return from break with our view focused on the entrance stage

*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Disturbed’s Liberate brings with it much hatred from the capacity crowd. Coming out from the back is the hulking monster known as Bohemoth. He tilts his expensive sunglasses down, and stares hard into the camera before walking towards the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of ten minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds. He is "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!

More jeers cascade down the rafters, as the big man leaps onto apron. He scowls at the audience, and then enters the squared circle.

COLE
Here is a man who had it all. Fans, respect and more.  And he turned his back on all of it to become Anglesault’s loyal soldier. Now he’s ready to beat up on a teenage girl who barely comes up to his knees. This is not the Bohemoth we once knew.

::Cue::



GO!

To un-explain the unforgivable,
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.
By streetlight this dark night,
A séance down below.
There are things that I have done,
You never should ever know!

And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.

Bolts of electricity scream down onto an entrance stage shrouded in blue lights. The audience cheers with excited thrills as images of flashing beams of lightening appear on videoscreens across the arena. A final bolt smashes into the stage and summons out three time women’s champion Morgan Nerdly. The young Edmonton native, nervously chews on her hair as she stares with hatred in her eyes towards Bohemoth.

BUFFER
And his opponent, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, prepare for shock and awe from MORGGAAAAAAANNN NNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDLLLLLLLYYYY!

COLE
This is a match that has no business happening. But Anglesault with his petty grudges and thirst for revenge made it to make an example out of Morgan. It almost makes me wish I never came back.

Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on figure out.
I'm really not so with you anymore.
I'm just a ghost,
So I can't hurt you anymore,
So I can't hurt you anymore.

And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me go, fuck!
So, you can, well now so, you can
I'm so far away from you.
Well now so, you can.

Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence.

DING DING DING

Bohemoth smiles staring down at the tiny Nerdly that stands in front of him. In spite of the huge size disadvantage, Morgan doesn’t appear frightened. Rather she looks angered and seized by nervous rage.

COLE
Anglesault has crossed the line by making this match.

COACH
Morgan crossed the line when she beat CPA with a concrete block, electrocuted him, and then electrocuted Bosley.

Bo makes a sudden and amazingly fast dash at Morgan. The Canadian quickly shoots herself between his outstretched arm to avoid a lariat. Bo stops short of crashing into the ring posts, placing his hands on the top ropes. He frowns, upset that he couldn’t catch Morgan.

“LET’S GO MORGAN! LET’S GO MORGAN! LET’S GO MORGAN!”

COACH
All that cheering ain’t gonna help Morgan, its just going to make the big man mad.

Bo surges at Morgan with a raised boot, trying to take her head off.  However, Morgan rolls beneath his massive leg and the big man catches nothing but air.

COLE
I just don’t know how Morgan is going to survive this affair. I don’t understand why she doesn’t just run.

The answer to that question would be that Tango Bosley and CPA are standing at the top of the entrance stage. Morgan notices their presence, and her demeanor takes on a more worried tone. This distraction hurts her greatly, as Bo grabs onto her long blond hair and slings her across the ring!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

COLE
How does that feel, Bohemoth? How does it feel to throw around a teenage girl you’re four times bigger than?

Little Morgan is brought to her feet by hair by the mastodon. He launches her backwards, causing her to crash into the canvas. The littlest Nerdly kid moans in agony and tears fall down her cheeks.

“BOHEMOTH SUCKS! BOHEMOTH SUCKS! BOHEMOTH SUCKS!”

Bo drags Morgan up off the canvas, and holds her at bay as she makes a futile effort  to punch him. Once Bo gets bored with Morgan’s failed attempts to attack her, he lifts her up by the throat and throws her into the corner. Morgan hits the posts hard, and her body sags downwards, only kept up by her grip on the top rope. Bo smells blood in the water and zooms at Morgan with a body splash! Thankfully, the tiny teenager is able to slide out the way from the fast approaching monster. Bo slams into the turnbuckle posts at full speed, and a noticeable expression of anguish spreads across his face.

COLE
Could that miss be costly for Bohemoth?

Showing her true fighting spirit, Morgan pops the crowd by kicking Bohemoth in the legs! But big Bo swings around and swats at Morgan, sending her tumbling backwards, and leaving her in incredible pain.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Bo runs forward and attempts to plant a leg drop onto Morgan’s neck. Once again, Morgan rolls out the way, and Bohemoth takes a painful crash into the canvas! This leads Morgan to bounce off the ropes and nail Bo with an Electric Slide! The big man stays sitting, however, prideful in his refusal to go down. Thus Morgan nails another one of the sliding lariats. But, Bo stays upright! Ever the determined one, Morgan bounces back off the ropes and knocks Bo over with another Electric Slide!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Morgan gives the fans something else to cheer about as she nails Bo with a brutal double stomp! Another one follows! And a third one! And a fourth one! Bo rolls over onto his stomach to shield his bruised face.

COLE
Alright, Morgan!

Morgan runs the ropes once more, but upon returning she’s cut down with a diving lariat from her much larger foe!

COLE
Oh my!

Bo looms over the battered Nerdly girl as VICE calls for the end of the contest atop the entrance ramp. The big man nods to his cohorts, and signals that Morgan’s time is up.  Morgan looks at him wide eyed and scared, but draws only a look of disdain from the South Carolina native.

COLE
Someone do something! Someone help Morgan!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience screams as a freshly arrived Alix whacks Bohemoth in the back with a field hockey stick! More annoyed than hurt, Bo turns around to deal with the meddlesome Californian. But that’s when Alix cracks Bo between the eyes!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

Bo stumbles backwards, and Alix blasts him beneath the chin with her stick! The big man falls into the ropes, permitting Alix to get a run up and build a head of steam.  She surges forward and dropkicks the stunned beast over the ropes and to the outside!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

VICE begins to make their way down the entrance ramp, but are warded off by Alix manically swinging her field hockey stick over the ropes.

COACH
Damn, damn, damn. Anglesault ain’t gonna be happy with this. And when Anglesault ain’t happy, we all pay the price!

Free of the threat posed by Anglesault’s goons, Alix turns around to check on Morgan…

Only to be spread to the ground by the three time women’s champion! Before Morgan can do any damage to Alix, referee Earl Hebner pulls the little lady off Alix.

ALIX
:huh:

MORGAN
LEON’S MINE! YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!

COLE
Poor Morgan is so brainwashed by Leon that she thinks Alix is helping her to merely get back with the man once know as The Grand Rapids Golden Child.

But Alix’s worries grow even graver as she’s clotheslined from behind by Bohemoth! The angered grappler stomps Alix in the back, as he motions VICE to enter the ring. Together, he and VICE lay their boots into poor and helpless Alix!

“MORGAN! MORGAN! MORGAN!”

COACH
Morgan is like four feet tall what do they expect her to do?

Spurred on by the crowd’s chants, Morgan’s good side wins over her jealous side and she leaps onto Bohemoth’s back!  She clubs the massive brawler with all the might in her tiny body. Yet its not enough to stop him from violently chucking her forward and crashing her to the canvas. Face twisted in sort of delighted rage he inches closer to her, preparing to cause her great bodily harm while VICE do the same to Alix.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as D*LUX, led by Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Duncan-Blanchard, rush down the entrance stage. Tyler, Shayne, and Jade hit the ring, while Maya directs traffic from the outside. The boys go after VICE, while Jade tries to appeal to Bo’s better nature and get him to stop from hurting Morgan.

COACH
Is she trying to talk Bohemoth out of beating up Morgan?

VICE and D*LUX quickly spill to the outside, leaving Jade by her lonesome with Bohemoth. Her words fall on unwelcome ears, as Bo has no intention of listening to reason. He SPITS in Jade’s face, drawing boos from the audience before he turns back to a quivering Morgan.

COLE
What a sick jerk Bohemoth has become!

An angered Jade grabs Bo’s arm and forces him to turn around. Her hand screams forward and slaps him across the face!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Jade realizes she’s placed herself in a bad situation when she sees the cold and vacant expression on Bo’s face. Thus, she quickly ducks herself beneath the ropes. She retreats up the ring ramp, but Bohemoth stalks her escape trail with that same empty look.

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience begs Jade’s mother to come and assist her.

Jade reaches the top of the entrance and is ready to escape to the safety of the back.  But Bo is dangerously close to her, and now a smile sweeps across his face.

COLE
This isn’t right! First me, then Rick Martel, then Josh, and now Jade!

But SPENCER REIGER appears with a chair! He stands in front of Jade, hands trembling with nervous fright. He holds the chair in front of him more like a shield than a weapon, and his expression seems to be of a person who does not want a fight. Regardless, he stands in front of Jade, ready but not wanting to take a swing at Bo.

BOBOHEMOTH
I don’t need this shit.

Bo brushes past Spencer and Jade, heading backstage. Once Bo is gone, Spencer takes a massive sigh of relief. He’s fully aware he was just headed to a fight with the biggest man on the roster, and is happy to have avoided it.

COLE
What have we just seen? Spencer Reiger just saved Jade Rodez-Duncan from serious injury at the hands of Bohemoth! But why?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Backstage, our roaming and intrusive cameras find themselves in the middle of a conversation, between Biffman and Tim Cash.

CASH
So you're in the Lethal Rumble as well? That's great news.

BIFFMAN
Absolutely it is, Citizen Cash. You know, with Biffman and the Citizen Soldiers in that ring, all the bad guys of the OAOAST had better be on notice. Beware! Justice is heading your WAAAAYYYYyyyyyyyyy!!

Biffman sweeps his cape... or at least tries to, ending up with part of it wrapped around his head. An awkward untangling is ignoring by Tim, too nice to point out this mess-up.

CASH
It's good to know there's another man fighting for good around here, Biffman. Although, I'm really not sure about this idea Melody has for you, fighting crime. Maybe you should take things one step at a time. Maybe hand out some leaflets on crime awareness at a local school first. Something a little less... in the line of fire.

BIFFMAN
Tim, I appreciate your concern. But I was given these powers for a reason. To stop bad guys in their tracks!

CASH
I know. But, didn't you hear about that Pheonix Jones guy? He got his nose broken.

BIFFMAN
(losing his superhero voice)
...really?

Biffman's sudden concern is interrupted, by the sound of cackling. Familiar cackling, from THEODORE MONEYMAKER. The Billion Dollar Heir walks over with Christian Wright behind him, big smile plastered on his face as he walks up to Tim and Biff.

MONEYMAKER
Are you kidding me? Look at this, wouldya? What a pathetic sight. The OAOAST's very own "nice guys club". BWAHAHAHA!!

BIFFMAN
What do you want, Evil Moneybags?

MONEYMAKER
Let me let you two in on a little secret. I've just spoken with Alfdogg and as of this moment, we are now officially entered into the Lethal Rumble Match. That means twenty eight other nickle n' dime peons just got their ticket to AngleMania torn in half and tossed into the garbage!

CASH
Well, we'll see about that. Good luck.

Moneymaker stares at Cash with bemusement.

MONEYMAKER
Good luck? Good luck!? Do you know who you're talking to, little man? I am YOUR United States Champion. And this man is the only person to have gone undefeated for an entire YEAR in the OAOAST. Do you understand? We are UNSTOPPABLE. And there's nothing a pair of do-gooders like you are going to be able to do to stop me from winning the Lethal Rumble!

CW gives his boss a bit of a sideways look, as Moneymaker looks proud of himself.

MONEYMAKER
That's right! I'm going to win the Lethal Rumble and after that, I'm going to AngleMania, where I will reclaim my OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! And then, I'll not only be the champion of the United States, but I'll be the champion of the entire WORLD! And this company will be under MY thumb again! BWAHAHAHAHA! I'll see you two chumps on January 30th. Come on Christian, let's go.

Moneymaker turns and leaves, with another big cackle, followed a few steps behind by Wright. Not impressed by what they've just heard, Tim and Biff shake their heads and go back to their conversation.

COMING UP NEXT
ANDERSON CUP QUARTERFINAL
J-MAX AND MARIACHI VS JAMES BLONDE AND FAQU

COMMERCIAL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We return from break focused on Sofa Central.

COLE
Welcome back to HeldDOWN... where we've been joined by a special guest. The King of the Ring, Landon Maddix.

The camera pans down the announce table where the King, in full regal regalia besides the crown, which rests on the table, nods knowingly.

KING LANDON
You are welcome.

COLE
And the King with vested interest as his Kingdom looks to capture the Anderson Cup.


"The Church Of Hot Addiction" hits and the King looks on as his cohorts head to the ring. Big smile on his face, James Blonde leads the way, with the monstrous Samoan stalking behind. And with them, both the Queen and her new underling Sophie, who performs some last minute, fussy fixes to the Queen's hair en route.

BUFFER
The following contest is an Anderson Cup First Round Match, set for one fall. Introducing first. Accompanied to the ring by SOPHIE and QUEEN ESTHER! At a total combined weight of five hundred and thirty nine pounds... representing THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM... "THE TRENDSETTER" JJAAAAAAMMMEEEEESSSSSSS BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE... and "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Blonde takes the stage for himself and plays to the crowd in an over the top manner.

COACH
Now, if you don't mind me asking, Your Highness...

COLE
What!?

COACH
...tell us all how good it feels to have your Kingdom back on track, back on the same page, back in the good books of the King.

KING LANDON
Well, I'm happy that my Kingdom were able to meet my royal gauntlet and live up to their place with me. But that's just the beginning. My men have plenty more to accomplish and to prove... some more than others.

The King looks up into the ring as he says that last line, as James Blonde smiles back at him and gives a big cheesy thumbs up. Meanwhile, "Skills" by Beatbullyz pumps out and the masked opposition make their way out.

BUFFER
And their opponents. At a total combined weight of three hundred and fifty pounds... they are the team of MMAAAAAARRRRIIIIIAAAAAACCHHHIIIIIIIIIIIII... and "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" J-MMMMMAAAAAAAXXXXX!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

A cheer goes up for the exciting masked men, but it's a second cheer that gets everyone's attention, as MEGAN SKYE appears behind J-MAX and Mariachi!

KING LANDON
:o
Wait a minute... what is she doing here!?

So aghast is the King, he involuntarily stands up out of his chair and points at his monitor in shock. J-MAX and Mariachi head their own way to the ring, with the Kingdom seemingly more concerned with Megan, who takes up her place in the masked men's corner.

COLE
Megan Skye with an unexpected appearance... I guess she's here to offer a little managerial advice to J-MAX and Mariachi!

KING LANDON
Now hang on, she doesn't manage them! That's not her job!

COLE
Well, she is the OAOAST's foreign liason. And last time I checked, J-MAX and Mariachi were both not from these shores, so I guess this falls under her jurisdiction!

KING LANDON
I don't know what the hell you just said, but she is out here to try and screw with me!

Megan calls the excitable masked men over in the corner and offers them some last minute advice, which doesn't go down well with Blonde. The huddle breaks and Megan drops to the floor, giving a glance and a smile to a fuming King Landon a few feet away.

COLE
Well this certainly puts a different complexion on this match. J-MAX and Mariachi with some guidance from one of the top managerial minds in the entire OAOAST.


*DINGDINGDING*

Annoyed at this development, James Blonde comes right out on the bell and shoves J-MAX in the chest. So the masked Brit slaps him!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Now even more annoyed, a wild right hand from Blonde is blocked, J-MAX firing away with some of his own! J-MAX tries an irish whip, which is reversed. Good news for Blonde, until he tries throwing J-MAX up in the air and J-MAX counters with a hurricanrana!

COLE
Speed and agility, that's what Blonde and Faqu are up against.

As Blonde gets to his feet by the ropes, J-MAX runs past. Springing off the middle rope, he comes back over a bemused Blonde's shoulder and takes him over with an armdrag! Blonde is off balance and takes a dropkick, sending him through the ropes and to the outside. The crowd cheer their approval for J-MAX's high octane style as Blonde takes a breather.

COLE
Boy, there may be few more exciting wrestlers in the OAOAST than J-MAX.

COACH
Yeah but, exciting don't win you matches. This was supposed to be an easy win. Now you got Megan out here... this whole thing's screwed up. It ain't right!

KING LANDON
She's a vindictive wench. Look at her.

Sophie checks on Blonde, or more specifically Blonde's ring attire, getting him straightened out and looking right. Once that's taken care of Blonde gets back on the apron, but takes a shoulder from the inside. J-MAX tries a suplex back in, but Blonde floats over the back. Blonde then tries a back suplex, but it's J-MAX up and onto his feet this time. Blonde turns around and tries a clothesline, but J-MAX ducks and jumps up to crack JB with an Enziguri! Cover by J-MAX...


1...


2...


No!

Staggering to his feet, Blonde throws a right, which is blocked. J-MAX fires back with a forearm, then sweeps Blonde's leg. Turning away, the SuperJay looks to the crowd, then hits a Standing Moonsault, to applause from Megan...


1...


2...


No!

KING LANDON
So, we're just going to let this happen? All the officials watching this backstage, they're fine with this? They're okay with her being out here?

COACH
Somebody needs to get out here and check her license.

COLE
I don't get what your problem is. Megan hasn't done anything wrong! You're telling me Blonde and Faqu can have a manager, but J-MAX and Mariachi can't?

KING LANDON
She's not their manager! As King, I demand somebody enforce some kind of rules around here.

As concern continues over Megan's presence, the match carries on with J-MAX working over Blonde in the corner. Irish whip is reversed though and Blonde charges J-MAX in the corner, only for J-MAX to slip through the ropes. Blonde hits the turnbuckles chest first, then gets caught with a Pendulum Kick from J-MAX as he leans back on the middle rope!

COLE
Max Evade!

With Blonde dazed, J-MAX springboards to the top and hits a crossbody!


1...


2...


Kickout!

Tag is made and Mariachi comes in, with eager, grabby hands.

COLE
Uh-oh.

Creeping up from behind on Blonde, the busy fingers of the Mexican find their way around Blonde's waist and up his chest, freaking The Trendsetter out! Blonde manages to reverse to a waistlock of his own but gets backed into a corner. The referee calls for a clean break. But what happens next is anything but clean, as Mariachi starts to ram his ass back into Blonde!!

KING LANDON
AVERT YOUR EYES, ESTHER!

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FIVE!"

"SIX!"

"SEVEN!"

"EIGHT!"

"NINE!"

"TEN!"

COLE
A series of... uhm, 'BUTT bumps' in the corner.

KING LANDON
That was the most awful thing I've ever seen.

Having knocked the wind out of Blonde, Mariachi comes charging in for a body splash in the corner... but Blonde moves out of the way! Mariachi hits the turnbuckles hard and there he stays, as Blonde crawls over and makes the tag.

COACH
Alright, squash these little masked punks!

Faqu stomps and snorts his way in, lining Mariachi up with a big Avalanche...


...and missing!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

KING LANDON
Come on, come on! Get it together!

With the King getting frustrated, J-MAX tags in and springboards from the top with a missile dropkick, which doesn't knock Faqu down! Undettered, J-MAX hits the ropes. He ducks under a wild swing from the Samoan, coming off the far side with plenty of speed and momentum with a flying clothesline, still not enough to put Faqu down. So J-MAX heads higher. Climbing to the middle rope, he waits for Faqu to turn and leaps... but gets SWATTED OUT OF THE AIR!!

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

COACH
AHHA!

Megan looks on with concern as J-MAX grabs the back of his head.

COLE
The speed and the agility, no match for the power of the Samoan Wrecking Ball!

Grabbing J-MAX by the wrist, Faqu drags him back over to the corner like a caveman dragging his next meal, handing him over to Blonde to take over. Blonde stomps away on J-MAX, then rounds on Mariachi, knocking him off the apron.

COLE
Well that was uncalled for.

COACH
He looked at him funny. And don't tell me he didn't, because Mariachi does nothing but look at dudes funny.

Blonde drags J-MAX up, hitting a snap suplex and pressing him down for a pin...


1...


2...


No!

Whipping J-MAX to the corner, Blonde does a quick preening of the hair, before hitting a clothesline, then turning it into a Bulldog out of the corner! He makes another cover, this time with a leg hooked, sensing the win...


1...


2...


Kickout!

And when the win doesn't come, Blonde gets into it with the ref.

KING LANDON
Why are you wasting time with that peasant. Stay on him. Focus.

Still not happy, Blonde hits a scoop slam and heads to the corner. Not the corner where Faqu is though, to the King's apparant annoyance. Instead, Blonde goes up to the middle rope. Standing up high, The Trendsetter points down to his much revered King, before very carefully balling up the fist.

KING LANDON
Yes yes, okay, we get the point.

Blonde smiles from ear to ear as he gives the fist a last good luck kiss, taking aim for the forehead of the masked Brit and coming off the ro... okay, you guessed it. He misses. As usual.

"YYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

COLE
Oh man, Blonde took way too much time over that fistdrop.

KING LANDON
I don't understand why he didn't tag. Esther, get on his case would you? What's he trying to prove?

With a gnarled up hand, Blonde stays in the ring and tries to stop J-MAX from making the tag. To no avail, as he sneaks through the legs and tags Mariachi!

COLE
The advantage for the Kingdom was short lived!

Mariachi leaps into action with a flying forearm! And a second one! And a third, pinballing the Trendsetter around! Fired up, Mariachi leaps on top of Blonde's back and RIDES HIM, getting his giddy up on! Blonde manages to buck Mariachi off of him and embarrassed, he makes a rash charge, which Mariachi turns into a rollup...


1...



2...



No!

First up, Blonde manages to cut Mariachi off with a boot. And again he goes it alone, deciding to hit the ropes rather than make a tag. It proves a mistake, as Mariachi leaps up and hits Blonde in the face with a buttbump! Blonde bounces off the mat and ends up in a seated position, allowing Mariachi to hit a running buttbump to the face! Cover...


1...



2...



NO!

KING LANDON
FAQU! GET IN THERE!

Tired of waiting around, the King orders his Samoan Wrecking Ball in, legal man or not. But before he can get there Faqu is cut off, sliding dropkicked off the apron by J-MAX!!

COLE
Nice save from J-MAX!

Meanwhile, Mariachi sets Blonde up, looking to hit him with the Sheep Dip. Blonde manages to twist his way out though and slaps on a cobra clutch! Mariachi fights against the legsweep, long enough for J-MAX to make the save with another Enziguri!

COLE
And now it's two on one in the ring, J-MAX and Mariachi with Blonde isolated.

Lining Blonde up, the masked men decide to go High/Low on The Trendsetter, Mariachi clipping the knee as J-MAX delivers a Busaiku Knee Kick!! Blonde gets folded up and Mariachi turns him over for the pin...


1...



2...



NO!!

COLE
Oh, my, almost a major upset!

COACH
You might have to do something here King.

KING LANDON
I'm not going to do a thing. I don't need to do anything. They do.

J-MAX and Mariachi try to set up another double team, with Megan encouraging them on. But from behind, Faqu slides back into the ring. By the time Mariachi notices it's too late and he runs right into a clothesline from the big Samoan! J-MAX reacts and walks right into a Thrust Kick!

COLE
And just like that, the Wrecking Ball wipes both J-MAX and Mariachi out!

KING LANDON
That's what should have happened from the start, I don't...

As Faqu goes to pick J-MAX up, he's suddenly called off by Blonde. Blonde backs his tag partner off and insists that "I've got this", pointing Faqu back out to the apron, for reasons inexplicable to anyone but The Trendsetter. Faqu doesn't seem to agree with this either, but Blonde insists and eventually Faqu listens.

COLE
What is this about?

KING LANDON
(trying to hide his anger)
...I don't know.

As Faqu slowly walks back to his corner, Blonde tosses J-MAX aside and focuses his attentions on Mariachi. Scooping him up, Blonde hits a big body slam. He then waves the referee aside, looking to use the ropes to finish Mariachi off with the big Lionsault...




...NOBODY HOME!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

Blonde crashes and burns. Seconds later, Faqu crashes too, right to the outside as J-MAX hits a running dropkick from behind and knocks him through the ropes to the floor!

COLE
Blonde missed! This is the chance for Mariachi and J-MAX!

The King looks on in disbelief, as Blonde hobbles around doubled up in pain. He walks into a boot from Mariachi, who hooks up the arms and drops to his knees, hitting the SHEEP DIP!!

COLE
LOOKIT... J-MAX, GOING UP TOP!

COACH
OH NO!

Megan points high up to J-MAX, as Blonde is planted right in perfect position for the Birmingham Bad Boy to fly! The crowd rise to their feet expecting something big. And J-MAX doesn't disappoint, Taking It To The MAX with the SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
COVER!


1...





2...





3!!!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
WHAT!? WHAT!?!

*DINGDINGDING*


BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing in the 2011 Anderson Cup... the team of MMMAAAARRIIIIAAAAAACCHHHHIIIIII... and J-MMMMAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The thud of King Landon's headset can be heard by all, the King choosing this moment to FLIP OUT at his team's shock defeat! Queen Esther rushes to calm him down, as Mariachi leaps into J-MAX's arms for a very personal celebration. With a satisfied smile, Megan watches King Landon storming around ringside gesticulating wildly, then waits for J-MAX and Mariachi to leave the ring before raising their hands in victory!

COLE
Oh my, Megan Skye has just got one over on the King here tonight! J-MAX and Mariachi pick up an upset win here in the Anderson Cup! And the peace in the Kingdom may well have just exploded!

King Landon continues his freak out in the ring now, raging at Megan as she backs away with SMUG written all over her face. The celebrations for the masked underdogs continue around her, but it's clear where Megan's enjoyment is coming from.

COACH
This is a disaster! What the hell happened!?

COLE
Crisis in the Kingdom may have returned here tonight on HeldDOWN!

The recriminations don't take long to start, as Blonde starts to come to his senses and ends up on the end of the anger of the King. Landon chews out Blonde, even daring to aim some of his exasperration at Faqu as he rolls back into the ring. Blonde tries his best to apologise and Sophie tries to reason with him, but the King is too mad to hear it and continues to berate his team.

COLE
It was stupid mistakes, stupid mistakes that cost Blonde and Faqu here tonight. And the King is not happy!

MEGAN
Landon! Landon, Landon, up here.

The rant is cut short as the King's attention is grabbed by Megan Skye, coming back out with a microphone.

MEGAN
Relax for a second, would you? I just wanted to let you know something really quick. Now, the Lethal Rumble's coming up in a few days. And I know that you've managed to get your name on the list of 30 next Sunday. Well, I've had a busy day today, besides going over strategy with Jay and Mariachi. I signed off on a couple of pieces of paperwork earlier...

KING LANDON
(from the ring
Who cares!?

MEGAN
Well, I think you'll care, Landon. Because you see, I signed off on a couple of names for the Rumble. And, one of them wanted me to pass on a message, that he's tired of waiting on you to face him in a match. And next Sunday, he's planning to... well... actually, you know what? How about I let him tell you himself.

"What's that supposed to mean" wonders the King aloud. Very aloud. And very annoyed.


And he soon finds out, as "Chelsea Dagger" hits and NATHANIEL BLACK marches to the ring!

COACH
Uh oh! Run! Run!

In his street clothes, Black stomps down the aisle with a purpose... but not quite quickly enough to catch Landon, who takes Coach's advice and bails out of the ring! The King suddenly regroups his team having being at their throats moments earlier, hiding himself behind Blonde and Faqu as Black climbs onto the turnbuckles and points down at Landon, issuing some far from idle threats. Backing up, the King decides to take the quickest route out and hops the barricade, leaving through the CROWD with a moping Blonde and the rest of his Kingdom close behind. Black stands on the turnbuckles and watches them leave, a snarl on his face.

COLE
Nathaniel Black, in the Lethal Rumble. And how he will hope to get his hands on the King amongst the thirty men involved in the most Lethal match of the year! Right now, let's send it backstage to Terry Taylor. Terry?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Backstage, OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor is with BARON WINDELS.

TERRY
Baron Windels, it’s official. You’ll face Reject at Anglepalooza.

Before BW can get a word out of his mouth, a STAGEHAND sprints on set.

STANDHAND
(panting)
Mr. Windels, there’s been an attack. Tim Cash is down.

BARON
Down where?

STANDHAND
(takes asthma medication)
Down there. In catering.

Baron rushes to the catering room where OAOAST crew members are scattered.

BARON
Timmy?

MAN (familiar voice off-camera)
Over here cowboy.

BARON
:huh:

BW turns to find REJECT. Within seconds he’s jumped by the entire DEADLY ALLIANCE.

COLE
It was a setup!

COACH
And a well planned one at that.

The DA help BW to his feet so Reject can paintbrush him.

REJECT
You said it yourself, Baron-- actions speak louder than words.  

With that Reject stuffs BW’s face in the PUNCH BOWL, then overturns the table on him spilling food and drinks everywhere. OAOAST officials finally arrive on the scene, too little too late for BW.

NAMELESS SUIT
Get them outta here!

Tim Cash bumps into the DA as they're escorted out, a piece of TOILET PAPER hanging out the back of his pants.

CASH
You guys!
(spots BW on floor)
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

REJECT
What a drama queen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...