Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA We cut straight to Sofa Central where Tony B and Da Coach await to call the action. BRANNIGAN Hello world! Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN live Cinncinati, Ohio! I am Tony Brannigan joined as always by Da Coach! We've got three Anderson Cup contests tonight, so let's get it started! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest, scheduled for one fa- As we expect to segue right into the next match once HeldDOWN~! returns, Michael Buffer's introduction is rudely interrupted by JAMES RIGGS, who takes the famed announcer's microphone out of his hand! Not only that, but the ringside area is swarming with those who have pledged their allegiance to Anglesault: Pierce Duncan, the members of VICE, Bohemoth, Todd Cortez, World Champion Jason Silver, and the company founder himself. It's Anglesault who Riggs hands the mic too, while the rest of the men surround the ring, keeping Anglesault secure by forming a circle around it. ANGLESAULT I want to know something...I want to know how a seven foot inbred redneck piece of trash seems to show up out of nowhere for the past two weeks, and gets himself involved in business that does not pertain to him! I want to know why, God help him, he's apparently trying to make amends with Zack Malibu when he spent the better part of his career trying to KILL HIM! I want to know what the hell is going on here lately, and I am shutting down this show until I find out! I am taking HeldDOWN~! hostage until I get some answers! COACH I know we say this every week, but DAMN is the boss man not happy. TONY He's holding HeldDOWN~! hostage until he gets answers! COACH It's gonna be a long night, Tony B. TONY Maybe not. The crowd is snapped out of their booing by the rising of TONY BRANNIGAN from his seat at Sofa Central. As Anglesault continues to snap at the crowd, Tony takes off his headset and grabs a mic, walking slowly towards the ring. COACH Tony B! What the hell are you doing!? Bo and Tango Bosley immediately stand in "The Body's" path, but Tony eases their tension by letting them know he just wants to talk with Anglesault. Reluctantly, the two big men let him pass, and Tony gets into the ring, eye to eye with Anglesault. ANGLESAULT Brannigan, get your ass back in your seat and do your job. TONY I could do that...but I won't. Instead, I'm going to help you get the answers you want. ANGLESAULT I don't have time for this crap, Tony. TONY Yeah, well, these people don't have time for YOUR crap! Anglesault, shocked at Tony's defiance, gives him a glare. TONY Week after week you come out here and threaten people, intimidate people, beat people, spill blood, and do pretty much anything you damn well please. The only reason I'm back in the booth is because of what you did to Michael Cole! ANGLESAULT So what are you complaining about? You're back in the spotlight, you made out! TONY Look, I don't care about spotlight. You want to know what's going on, and as a broadcast journalist, I can do that for you. ANGLESAULT OK then, enlighten me. Tell me what you know. TONY Tell you what I know? What I know is that ever since you've been back here, you've turned this place into a hostile working environment for everyone. Not one person has been safe from you and your guys here, so seeing Bruce Blank show up and ruin whatever plans you had for Malibu and Candie inside that cage brought a smile to my face. Anglesault is not amused, and calls on VICE to get into the ring. ANGLESAULT I don't have time for this. Christopher, Tango... TONY You want your answers, you tell them to keep their asses out of this ring! The crowd roars, and Anglesault laughs at the threat. ANGLESAULT Making threats now, Tony? TONY I don't make threats, Anglesault. This is exactly what I mean. You came back here with a chip on your shoulder. A big chip, actually. You bring with you three talented individuals, but you poison their minds with this crap about this being "your company" when the truth is that the name on the marquee doesn't mean CRAP anymore! You want to blame Zack Malibu for ruining things? Zack did more for this company the past nine years than you EVER did, including now! Don't try to mask this mission of vengeance as some type of crusade. It all boils down to petty jealousy, and it makes me sick. It makes me sick because I was there in the beginning, and I'm still here now, and you know why? Not because of you, but because I know that there are people in this crowd that appreciate what I did. I know that there are people in the back, people like Zack Malibu, and even the younger stars, people like Denzel Spencer and D*LUX, that respect me and what I've done in this company. I bowed out gracefully. I walked away with my head held high, and that's something that I will always have over you. Seeing you these past few months, sitting by and watching you have your way with people, it made me sick. It damn near almost made me regret helping form this company, until I realized that the name might say "Anglesault", but the heart and soul of the company comes from people like Zack, people like Denzel, and the OCC, and Krista, and D*LUX, and pretty much everyone who is in the back right now and not surrounding this ring! So you want your answers, Anglesault!? You want to know where Bruce Blank fits in all of this!? Well, that night, at the New Year's Spectacular, I was just as shocked as you were to see him tear that cage door off and save Zack Malibu. But I was glad he did it. So I'M the one who reached out to him after the fact, and I'M the one who made sure he was here last week! ANGLESAULT YOU!? Well, besides the fact that you've just signed your death warrant, you've got no power, no authority, so you can't make that call! Bruce Blank is NOT a member of the OAOAST roster, which means he was nothing more than a fan who got involved, and I can take every cent that man has ever earned for getting involved in my business. TONY You're right. At the New Year's Spectacular, he had no right to hop the guardrail. He had no right to get in that ring and do what he did, but these people, and myself, and Zack and Candie are all GLAD that he did it, and THAT is why as of last week, I signed Bruce to an OAOAST contract! ANGLESAULT You...have you gone mad!? I mean, we're not that far of from each other age wise, but you're already going senile! You have NO POWER, Tony. In fact, give it a few seconds, and you won't have any blood left in your body either. Anglesault turns away from Tony, and all of his men jump up on the apron and get into the ring, forming a cirlce around Tony. Brannigan doesn't budge, standing tall with fists cocked, ready to strike...when "Getting Away With Murder" hits and ZACK MALIBU, followed by DENZEL SPENCER, the ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS, and D*LUX come charging down the aisle! COACH It's ON~! Immediately after hitting the ring, the fan favorites break off with their rivals and start brawling...except for Anglesault, who ducks out as quickly as Zack hits the ring! Tony sees this and exits as well, heading up the ramp and trash talking Anglesault. AS takes jabs at Tony as well, not paying attention as he backs up the ramp...and backs right into a giant redneck holding a barbed wire bat! BRUCE BLANK IS IN THE BUILDING~! Anglesault turns around, and Bruce swings the bat up so it rests on his shoulder...and Anglesault goes and hops the rail, pulling a fan in front of him in case Bruce gets any ideas! Bruce instead turns away and heads to the ring, entering and helping clear it off the founder's foundation before coming eye to eye with his old rival, Zack Malibu! COACH I thought we were getting answers tonight, but all I have are more questions! Denzel, Ned, Simon, Shayne, Tyler, and Tony all stand between the two, preventing all hell from breaking loose. Tony, in an effort to salvage the apparent truce between the two, takes the mic. TONY Anglesault, you want to know why I brought Bruce here? Zack, you want to know why he's here? Well, you can both hear it from me. Because, Anglesault, I do have the power to bring Bruce back, since I'm one of the five people who bought Zack's shares from him! COACH DAMN~! Tony B is a minority owner of the OAOAST!? Good thing I'm on his good side...I think. Anglesault is furious now, taking off his suit jacket and throwing it down, now that he has regrouped in the aisle with his faction. TONY Now, I know about the bad blood. I know that you, Zack, and you, Bruce, will never be friends. Still, you need to hear him out. Man to man, face to face, right now, Bruce, you tell Zack what you told me. Tony hands the mic over, and he and everyone other than Zack and Bruce exit the ring. Four years after their epic Survive Or Surrender match that retired Bruce, the two men are again face to face in an OAOAST ring. BRUCE Been a long time, eh, Zack? Malibu doesn't respond or crack the slightest smile, as he still seems concerned with why Bruce is there. BRUCE Looky here, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. Four years ago, you and me, we had our war. We both said a lot of stuff, did a lot of stuff, and spilled a lot of blood. Lines were crossed, and for that, you have my apologies. Ya see, in the time I've been away, I've become a family man myself. I know what it's like now, and I know how I'd feel if someone crossed that line the way I did to you. I may not have been around, but I've been watchin' you, Zack. I've seen what's been goin' on here. I ain't askin' to be your friend, I ain't askin' you to trust me. All I'm sayin' is I'm back, and I've got your back, because I owe it to ya. Zack paces the ring, looking a bit confused, and asks for a mic. MALIBU Bruce, you made my life HELL. Not just in the ring, but outside of it. Breaking into my house, going after Candie and my baby daughter...if you had wound up at the bottom of a cliff somewhere, I wouldn't have shed a tear. You're absolutely right. I don't have to trust you and we don't have to be friends...but I know what it's like to want redemption. You helped Candie when I couldn't a few weeks ago, and you had my back last week. So for that, I thank you, and my family thanks you. If this is legit, if this is the way you want it, then right here, right now, you shake my hand and we call it a truce, and you and me and Spencer, and Ned, and Simon, and Krista, and everyone else that has HAD IT with Anglesault can do what we do best, and show them what the OAOAST is really all about! The crowd comes to their feet, hooting and hollering as Bruce chuckles. MALIBU You want to prove that you're a new man, Bruce? You want to go to war with me instead of against me? Shake my hand! BLANK Zacky boy, funny you should say that, because I was gonna ask you to shake my hand! In a scene that NO ONE thought they'd ever see, the bat wielding maniac known as Bruce Blank and the OAOAST Franchise Zack Malibu SHAKE HANDS. Four years after the most brutal feud in OAOAST history came to an end. Four years after Bruce Blank entered into a forced retirement. Four years after Zack Malibu nearly gave his life to beat Bruce at his own game. Four years later, Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank stand united against Anglesault, and the OAOAST is NEVER going to be the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from commercial break with our view focused on Michael Buffer... BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is an Anderson Cup First Round match! "Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and it's a not-so royal welcome for the Cucaracha Kingdom members as the Knights of the realm, Rico and Lucius, head to the ring. All smiles, Rico and Lucius stroll confidently ahead of their Queen, along with Sophie who is a new and not unnoticed part of the team. BUFFER Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER and SOPHIE! Representing the CUCARACHA KINGDOM... at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixteen pounds. They are the number seven seeds in the Jannetty Bracket... LUCIUS SOUL and RICO DE JANEIRO... THE MARDI GRAS HHEEEEELLLLFFFIIIIIIIRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE CCLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUBB!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rico and Lucius strut around the ring as if it were their own, high in confidence and low on class. BRANNIGAN Rico and Lucius representing the Cucaracha Kingdom here in the 2011 Anderson Cup. Officially back in the King's good books, but I'm sure they'll earn some real royal priviledges if they can bring the cup home to the Kngdom. COACH Oh, you better believe it. The finest banquets, the most luxurious villas, statues and odes, it'll all be theirs to enjoy. BRANNIGAN You don't know anything about kingdoms aside from what you've seen in movies, do you? COACH Not as such, no.WELL ITS MIDNIGHT AND ITS COLDER PULL YOU CLOSER I CAN SEE THROUGH WHEN ITS SUNSHINE AND ITS SOLAR AND ITS OVER GUESS ITS ME AND YOU BLOOD. BY. SUN. LIGHT. "Solar Midnite" by Lupe Fiasco fires out and a squeal goes up from the female fans in the crowd. Rushing out into this reaction are Shayne and Tyler, serious in black denim and ready for action. The boys fire up the crowd and head to the ring slapping hands, with the Duncan family management team in tow. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! Accompanied by JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD! Total combined weight, three hunders seventy nine pounds... they are the number two seeds in the Jannetty Bracket... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... together, they are D*LLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Predictably enough, Queen Maya and Queen Esther still have unfinished business. Arguements start almost immediately as Maya threatens to round the ring and go after the (other) Queen, having to be held back by Jade. Not wanting any distractions, Tyler and Shayne leave the ring and help hold Maya back, before convincing Maya and Jade to head to the back. Queen Esther and Sophie wave them adieu, as the Duncan girls (mostly Jade) listen to D*LUX and leave with nothing more than some threatening pointing from Maya. BRANNIGAN D*LUX going to go it alone here. Sink or swim time. COACH Dumb move. *DINGDINGDING* Tyler and Shayne high-five and it's Shayne to start, against Lucius. BRANNIGAN And with Maya and Jade out of the picture, you have to wonder what part the Queen and her new friend are going to play in this match. Locking up, Lucius grabs a side headlock on Shayne and lets out a big smile. A bit prematurely, as Shayne shoots him into the ropes and scores with a hiptoss. Lucius recovers from the shock and kicks up from the mat, knocking Shayne away. Back up, Lucius tries a hiptoss of his own. But Shayne counters, into a monkey flip! BRANNIGAN Nice! Shocked again, Lucius runs at Shayne and gets caught with a rollup... 1... 2... No! Shayne grabs a hold of Lucius and tags in Tyler, giving him a free shot. Tyler takes over, working Lucius over with right hands and forcing him into a corner. After stomping way for a while Tyler whips Lucius across, into the opposite corner of the ring. Lucius is able to avoid a charge in the corner and struts out, preening at his prized afro, unaware that Tyler has made it safely into the corner. And from the middle rope, Tyler connects with a dropkick as Lucius finally turns around! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Cover... 1... 2... No! Tyler picks Lucius back up, but the Soul man escapes via a knee and makes the tag to Rico. COACH Alright, bringing in the power hitter. Unfortunately, the power hitter is lacking some accuracy and a big right hand is ducked. Tyler tags Rico with a succession of right hands, then hits the ropes. With a pick-up, Rico tries for a power move on Tyler, but finds the boybander a little too hot to handle and Tyler slips down the back, into a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Rico cuts Tyler off with a quick knee and drives an elbow to the neck. BRANNIGAN Rico would like to slow this match down to... well, as slow of a pace as possible. Maybe negotiate a deal where we can settle this with a game of chess. That's more Rico's speed. Coming off the ropes, Rico sets up for a clothesline, but Tyler has already sidestepped him. Slowing himself down, Rico comes to a leisurely stop and turns around, to find Tyler coming off the ropes with a clothesline of his own! COACH See, that wouldn't have happened if this were a chess match. No running in chess. BRANNIGAN I... was kidding, you know. Tag made and D*LUX hook onto Rico, an arm and a leg each, dropping him down across their knees with the Cowell Movement! BRANNIGAN Well, that's going to do Rico's breathing no good. Backing off opposite ropes, D*LUX then combine again with stereo dropkicks, sandwiching Rico's head in between, Surround Sound! Tyler pops up and knocks Lucius off the apron, while Shayne tries a pinfall on the Brazilian... 1... 2... Kickout! Shayne calls to the crowd and heads to the top rope. But with the referee making sure Tyler leaves the ring, Lucius manages to jump back to the apron and shove Shayne off the top!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BRANNIGAN Referee unsighted and a little 'helping hand' from Lucius there. A wheezy Rico makes the tag, bringing Lucius in legally. The Black Knight stomps away on Shayne, dropping a knee and hooking the leg... 1... 2... No! Lucius pulls Shayne up, whipping him to the ropes. A high, flipping dropkick impresses Queen Esther, if not the crowd, who refuse to give even begrudging praise for the move. Lucius teases at his 'fro with a spring back in his step, feeling good about things. COACH Lucius really is the life and SOUL of the party. BRANNIGAN I see what you did there Hooking him up, Lucius elevates Shayne up for a suplex, turning it into a Falcon Arrow for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Stomping away again, Lucius offers a tag to Rico, who's got his breath back and accepts. A double whip from the Hellfire Club sets up a double elbow. Lucius then hands Rico his foot, for an assisted Standing Moonsault! Positively delighted, the Queen hops up and down clapping her hands. Out rolls Lucius, while Rico strokes his facial fuzz and drops the Porno 'Stache Legdrop across the throat! 1... 2... No! BRANNIGAN Is there a lazier cover in the business than that? Sitting your leg across the chest and looking smug? COACH Rico isn't lazy. He's just... conserving his energy at convenient moments. BRANNIGAN Yeah, right. Rico lifts Shayne back to his feet, but gets distracted as Tyler starts to rally the crowd. Which gives Shayne some energy to fire back. He catches Rico with a punch to the gut. A second. And a third. With Rico lagging, he then starts throwing forearms. BRANNIGAN Shayne fighting back here. With Rico rocked, Shayne hits the ropes. He ducks under a clothesline and goes for a crossbody... but gets CAUGHT! Rico laughs it up, before hurling Shayne overhead with a Fallaway Slam!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cover by Rico... 1... 2... No! Tag to Lucius, who takes over with kicks, keeping Shayne unable to tag his partner. COACH So much for 2011 being the breakout year for D*LUX. Looks like a hell of a start to the new year. BRANNIGAN I wouldn't count them out just yet, Coach. This Anderson Cup means a lot to Shayne and Tyler. This is their chance to start making good on their potential, a lot of hard work has gone in over the past couple of months by both of these young men to improve and get focused. COACH Working a charm so far. Maybe one of them oughta flip out his cellphone, call Jade, tell her they need some help. Whipped to the corner, Shayne is hit with the Soul Brother Splash and falls out of the turnbuckles to his knees. Lucius shoves him over and makes a cover... 1... 2... No! Lucius tags Rico back in and the burly Brazilian lays in some boots, before slapping on a nice, easy chinlock. "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" "LET'S GO SHAYNE!" Unfortunately, the crowd start making it less easy as they route Shayne into fighting back. Showtime starts to get back up, forcing Rico to come back up with him. Elbows to the gut soften Rico up, eventually breaking the hold. Shayne then hits the ropes, only for Rico to cut him off with a knee! Relieved, Rico hooks Shayne up, powering him up over the shoulder. BRANNIGAN Could be Moustache Ride time! Kicking and squirming frantically, Shayne is able to slip free of the clutches though and lands on his feet. Rico turns around to try and grab Shayne, but Showtime is too quick and crawls through the legs, creating the opening to make the tag!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Rico lumbers into Tyler, who blocks a punch and responds with one of his own. And another. And dozens more in quick succession! BRANNIGAN And look at Tyler go! Like a man possessed! After knocking Rico down, Tyler sees Lucius rushing towards him and gives him a BAAAAACK bodydrop! BRANNIGAN Focus. Determination. We're starting to see it right here! Following Rico into the corner, Tyler scales up and prepares to unleash another Top Ten Hit. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" COACH Come on referee, how many punches was that? BRANNIGAN I wish I thought you were being rhetorical. Whipped to the other corner, Rico is hit with a splash in the corner. Groggy, he stumbles out of the corner, caught with a Phantom Neckbreaker by the Tremendous One! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Momentum on his side, Tyler heads outside. He climbs to the top and comes soaring in with a crossbody... 1... 2... NO! Rico is lagging and Tyler can sense it. He hits the ropes, at which point Lucius re-appears and tries to intercept with a Bicycle Kick... but Tyler ducks the boot and gives Lucius a Samoan Drop! But that gives Rico time to recover and connect with a well-aimed clothesline! COACH He didn't have to be quick to hit that one! What a shot. Rico makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Weary, Rico slowly picks Tyler back up and sets him for the Moustache Ride. As Rico takes in some deep breaths though, Shayne rushes back into picture and catches Rico with a Leg Lariat! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN Rico took way too long. Not neccessarily his fault, but still, he took way too long. Helping each other to their feet, D*LUX turn their attentions to Lucius, catching him walking in with a double boot. Together they whip Soul into a corner, then do the same with Rico. Into the same corner, causing Lucius to get sandwiched behind his partner. Rico slumps back, exhausted, leaving Lucius unable to escape as Shayne runs at Tyler and gets launched in the air, coming down into both Hellfire Club members with a corner splash! BRANNIGAN One thing D*LUX have always been, tag team specialists. With great tandem offence such as that. Lucius rolls outside and Rico falls forward, down to one knee, allowing Tyler to connect with the Shining Enziguri!! Cover... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BRANNIGAN Close call, but the right call. Rico, just barely able to get his foot out on that bottom rope. With the Queen beginning to get nervous, Tyler brings Rico back up. Shayne keeps Lucius occupied, while Tyler tries to set Rico up for the TKO. Getting the two hundred thirty pounder up proves a problem though and Rico is able to slip down the back, rolling Tyler up in sloppy fashion... 1... 2... No! Tyler runs at Rico, but right into a boot. COACH C'mon Rico! Lookin' good, mang! BRANNIGAN Looking good!? He's sucking so much wind I'm starting to get light-headed sitting here. Able to stroke his 'stache despite his fatigue, Rico loads Tyler to the ropes and whips him across the ring. But Tyler comes back quickest and scores with a running YAKUZA KICK! And Rico is sent tumbling outside! BRANNIGAN Big boot from Tyler! But as Tyler turns around, Lucius is waiting with a YAKUZA KICK of his own!! COACH Oh-ho, even BIGGER boot from the Soul man! Out rolls Tyler and Lucius struts it up, until Shayne slides back in. Lucius is ready and takes aim with the pimp slap, but Shayne ducks and hops on the shoulders, looking for a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! Rolled back to his feet Shayne falls against the ropes and Lucius tries to take advantage with another Yakuza Kick... but gets CROTCHED as Shayne ducks the boot! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" LUCIUS COACHAiyeeeee!! Able to unhurdle himself, Lucius stumbles forward nursing his nether regions. Head down, Shayne is able to jump up on the back and goes for Code Red. As he pushes up though, Lucius somehow manages to turn it around and wind up with Shayne on his shoulders, ready for Go 2 Sleep! BRANNIGAN What a counter! Lucius throws Shayne up... into another miraculous counter, a hurricanrana!! BRANNIGAN WHOA! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN What a sequence of events right there! I thought that was it! Lucius tries for a spinkick, but Shayne manages to duck. The miss throws Lucius off balance and Shayne tries to take advantage with the Shaynedrop. Lucius pushes him off and hits the ropes at the side, ready to POUNCE... ...NO! Shayne leaps up and over Lucius, into a sunset flip! Lucius manages to roll straight through to his feet... only to roll right into Tyler! With a waistlock, Tyler picks Lucius up, into a wheelbarrow. And with Lucius caught, Shayne runs the ropes, tumbling over top of the pile with the Diamond Dust to drive Lucius face-first!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN D*LUX CAPACITOR! Shayne makes the cover, Tyler on guard... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN D*LUX, moving on! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winners of the match, advancing in the Anderson Cup... D*LLLLLLUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" With relief and delight, Shayne and Tyler embrace and celebrate their victory, with one down on their quest for the Anderson Cup. Queen Esther and Sophie kick up a fuss, but there's no arguements from the fans as D*LUX's hands are raised in victory. BRANNIGAN Are we seeing the beginnings of a brand new D*LUX, here in the OAOAST? An impressive win here and now, D*LUX have the belief to match the confidence. How far can they go in this elite competition this year? COACH Well... I'll give them credit. They pulled this one out and looked pretty good. But there's still a long way to go and plenty to go wrong. Let's not buy into the hope just yet. One win doesn't a champion make, Tony B. One win is good enough for tonight though and D*LUX leave punching the air and nodding the heads, the importance not lost on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 BRANNIGAN Fans, as we all know by now Jason Silver is the OAOAST World Champion after using a stolen Money In The Bank Briefcase to capture the world title from Krista Isadora Duncan. This has drawn the ire of the four time world champion, and making Krista mad is never a wise move. Jason Silver found this out the hard way earlier this week. Molly Nerdly has the footage. BREAKING AND ENTERING a short film by Molly Nerdly BROOKLYN, NEW YORK TUESDAY We find Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isdora Duncan sat inside a MOVING TRUCK MOLLY (behind the camera) Why don’t you tell us where we are, Alix? ALIX Okay! That’s super easy. We are on Earth one of the four terrestrial planets in the solar system, the largest one to be exact, it is sometimes to referred to as the World or by its Latin name Terra. MOLLY (behind the camera) Perhaps you could be a smidgen more specific. KRISTA I’m just shocked she acknowledged we’re on an actual planet, and not in God’s game of Sims 3 for Xbox as Melody had convinced her. ALIX Right now, we’re in front of Jason Silver’s house in Brooklyn. BK STAND UP! WE SEE YOU, NIGGAS! KRISTA If you listen closely you can hear the screams of all the young boys he’s touched. Krista, Alix, and Molly hop out the truck. Molly swings the camera around to show a CONVOY of moving trucks lined up down the street. MOLLY (behind the camera) And why are we here? ALIX (raising her hand) Oooooh, I know! I know! Pick me, teacher! Pick me! MOLLY Um….okay, Alix, why are we here? ALIX Well the Nation of Islam handbook Mike Tyson gave me for my birthday says in order to spice up one’s sex life in order to achieve the same level of Orgasmic thrill Mohammed felt when god spoke to him, you have switch up places where ya do it. So here we are. I wanted to try the Vietnam War Memorial, but Krista said something about disgracing the entire nation would make it hard for her to sell exercise videos. Then I wanted to try the Easter Bunny’s rabbit hole, but Krista says there’s no such thing as an Easter Bunny, and its like its cool if you’re an atheist and all but you don’t have to make blasphemous statements like that. KRISTA I’m not an atheist, and that’s not even what atheism means! ALIX So, like we’re here at Jason Silver’s house to get freaky deeky. Cosmo said men get a rush when you do it where they might get caught. I’m not a man, but the way Krista works that strap on, you’d think she was born one! The thrusting, the power, the rhythm, the way she fills this little Easter Bunny's rabbit hole is soooooooo good! Were you born a man? KRISTA No! And we’re not here to have sex either! ALIX See, her hot body is built for show not for go. I’m built for show and go. She’s not easy, I am. I’ll go down on you ten seconds into the date. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Dinner time! Alix grabs onto Molly’s pants and starts to unbutton them! MOLLY (behind the camera) How about we keep this professional?! Um, Krista would you tell us why you’re here? KRISTA We’re here because Jason Silver, aside from having facial hair that looks like he glued a series of ass hairs to his face, is also a rotten thief. He stole my world title. Originally, I was going to let him keep it, because Tyler gave me a replica world title belt for the holidays, and I tried to burn it, I tried to run over it, I tried to toss from the roof of my gym, but that thing was more durable than my breasts, I could deflect bullets with these babies. So I still had a world title, so I figured what’s wrong with letting Silver have the other one. Then after New Years Spectacular Maya told me just because I have a belt doesn’t mean I’m still world champion, Silver officially beat me! After I grounded her for having the audacity to correct me, I realized I have been the victim of the greatest heist since I stole a Emily Fischer’s lesbian virginity in tenth grade. Well, that simply will not do will it? Young Mister Silver needs to learn that he looks like the creepy guy in the corner of the club, alternating between thoughts of committing mass homicide or humping the fat chick who wears a tank top two sizes two small that all the skinny girls hang out with to boost their self esteem in comparison to her morbidly obese nature. If he doesn’t learn that, he needs to learn you don’t steal from Krista Isadora Duncan. Unless you’re Lorelei DeCenzo, then you steal my girlfriend, and instruct her to reveal to the world that I have a second daughter who has no idea I’m her mother, thus creating an awkward next couple of months and making the bra an panties match I fought her in either incredibly creepy or incredibly hot depending on your fetish. ALIX Uh, ooops! KRISTA Jason Silver, you’re not Lorelei DeCenzo, although with enough anabolic steroids to compensate for your near anorexic frame your man breasts may equal her big, but not nearly as big as mine, breasts. Thusly, I deem it not a sin in the slightest to steal from you. But I don’t want just the collection of Big Beautiful Black Women porn you hide underneath your bed. I don’t want to steal just your feminine itch cream. I don’t just want to steal you’re unusual shrine to Enrique Iglesias. I don’t want to just steal the FIT with KID exercise videos you pleasure yourself to just like every other man in the known universe. I want to steal every thing you own. The movers begin pouring out the trucks. KRISTA Let’s begin, shall we? With the movers trailing behind them, Krista and Alix find their way to Silver’s front door. MOLLY (behind the camera) How are we to get in? KRISTA Well, we could use a- ALIX HEADBUTT, MOTHER TRUCKERS! (Alix headbutts the door in an attempt to break it open) Ow. KRISTA Key. Krista pulls out a key and unlocks the door. The group steps inside a neat, but very manly home. KRISTA (smelling the air) This is what I imagine prison rape would smell like. ALIX My dad says it smells like shame, humiliation, disgust, and cherries. Krista turns to the parade of movers behind her. KRISTA Alright, boys, get to work! A montage is shown of the mover’s cleaning out Silver’s house and loading his things into the trucks. All while this is going on Alix and Krista enjoy numerous On Demand movies at Silver’s expense. As Silver has left his credit cards behind, they shop for things on HSN and order pizzas for the entire crew. They even get onto Silver’s computer and order Molly videotapes for her camera! Once the montage finishes we find the trucks loaded up with Silver’s stuff. Krista and Alix prepare to hop into the truck at the end. But the sight of Silver’s silver Mustang cruising down the street stops them in their tracks. The Mustang slides behind the trucks. Silver gets out with a quizzical expression on his face, wondering what the moving trucks are here for. He steps closer and closer to his house, still unaware that his possessions are the ones being moved. That is until he notices his TV being dragged out the house! SILVER What the fuck?! The world champion turns around to see Krista and Alix waving and smiling at him. This enrages Silver and he storms over to the six time tag team champions. SILVER What have you done?! What the fuck did you do?! KRISTA Well, Jason, we wanted this to be a surprise. But I guess the cat is out of the bag. ALIX What cat? What bag? KRISTA It’s a saying. ALIX But why would you keep a cat in a bag? That’s so mean, it could suffocate in there! Is it a dead cat? Because then that’s really sad and the Easter Bunny doesn’t like sad things. SILVER Who gives a damn about the cat? What are you doing to my house?! KRISTA Correction, what have we done. Buddah says its not a good thing to be attached to the material, and the worldly. He says ownership of things removes you from your God source. So we’ve helped you get closer to Buddah by getting rid of all your crap. ALIX I don’t see what you’re so mad about, dude. You did steal Krista’s title. SILVER That’s different! KRISTA Well, I suppose when you consider that you stole a wrestling belt that wouldn’t go for more than thirty dollars in a pawn shop transaction, trust me I tried, and we stole hundreds and thousands of dollars worth of things, and raked up near unpayable charges onto your credit card, making it impossible for you to phone your favorite phone sex hotline on those lonely nights where Uncle Anglesault isn’t there to coddle you in his bosoms, then yes, it is different. And that’s what makes it so genius if I do say so myself. Anyway, we must depart, kind sir. But don’t fret. We’ve left you with a bottle of baby oil, a portable DVD player, FIT with KID: Killer Glutes exercise video. So you can cry and masturbate at the same time. ALIX Peace out, homie! Krista and Alix quickly retreat into the truck. Molly stays behind to film Silver’s reaction. SILVER (beating on the side of the truck) Get back out here! That’s my shit! The trucks begin to slowly pull away. Krista and Alix’s truck moves with them, and Silver sees his entire life being ripped away. As such he does the only logical thing, he dives forward and grabs onto the bumper! The slow moving vehicle drags Silver along on the ground. SILVER Give me back my shit! The odd sight of a man being dragged by the bumper of a moving truck, draws the attention of a nearby police car! The cop flicks on his sirens and chases after the lethargic truck, until it finally comes to a stop. A rough looking police officer steps out the car, and gazes at Silver with a harsh stare. This, however, is lost on Silver who rushes to him like a puppy runs to its owner! SILVER Thank god! Thank god, you’re here! COP What the hell is going on? Krista and Alix step out the truck, wearing sweet and innocent expressions. KRISTA Is everything okay, officer? SILVER No! No everything is not okay! They stole my shit! COP All I know is I saw you latched onto the back of this truck, being dragged down the street. ALIX He was? Oh my god, that’s so crazy! SILVER Shut up! I was trying to get my shit back! They stole everything I own! ALIX You big fat, liar! That’s not true at all, officer! The cop stares hard at Krista, who continues to smile sweetly. COP I know you! You’re Krista Isadora Duncan! KRISTA Why, honey, yes I am. COP The fitness girl! Oh man, my wife has all your tapes. She used to be a major lard ass, I’m talking at least 450 in pounds, she got ahold of your tapes and now she’s down to a lean 400 pounds. KRISTA Um….. COP What’s going on here, if I may ask? KRISTA Oh, honey, we were just moving things from our little summer home, here in….whatever city we happen to be in right now, I’ve drank a little, not enough for a DUI mind you, but enough to forget the city I paid well over 600 dollars for us to fly to. But, as we were moving, this raving lunatic here, came up and started yelling at us. I, being the kind, sweet, meek and non confrontational person, I bid him a good day and ushered Alix here into the truck. It would seem this young man has seen fit to latch onto our truck. SILVER Bullshit! You stole my shit! ALIX That’s the story, deputy dog! COP Miss Duncan, you’re famous, you’d never do something illegal or bad. Therefore…. The cop turns a hateful eye onto Silver. COP You’re under arrest! Much to Silver’s horror and shock, the cuffs are slapped on his wrists! SILVER Wait! I’m the OAOAST World Champion! My uncle is Anglesault! ALIX I was in Just My Luck, and Georgia Rule! Sorry, Lohan, you’re going to jail. The officer forces a ranting Silver into the back of the squad car. KRISTA He’s a good kid, officer, he just got mixed up in the wrong crowd. Try and go easy on him. We end the video with Krista and Alix shaking the officer's hand.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break with our view focused on Sofa Central BRANNIGAN Right now, chaos is reigning over the OAOAST and as the bitter war between Anglesault and Zack Malibu intensifies, more and more people are being caught in the crossfire. Three weeks ago, Leon Rodez found himself on the recieving end of a vicious attack by Anglesault's group. What's so shocking about this is, we all thought that Rodez was safe. Leon and Anglesault were caught backstage by OAOAST cameras more than a month ago, essentially complimenting each other on their recent actions. We all thought that there was an understanding in place. Because, if there's one man outside of Anglesault's clique that hates Zack Malibu as much as the boss, it is Leon Rodez. However, as it turns out, nobody is safe in the OAOAST. Footage begins to roll of the post-match of Jade versus Morgan, with Leon walking out on his defeated girl. BRANNIGAN As you can see, after a dispute between Leon and Morgan Nerdly, Leon will begin to leave the arena. He bypasses the stage and heads for the curtains at the side. Little did he know what was waiting for him and caught up in his own anger and frustration, he disappears through the curtains with his Money In The Bank briefcase in hand... to be jumped, by how any we don't know, but by associates of Anglesault. Blood on the hands of someone. And it would be Anglesault's nephew, Jason Silver, who profits. A mugging, pre-meditated, ambushing a common ally for the Money In The Bank briefcase he held. So much for Anglesault's claims that only those who got in his way would feel his wrath. As the footage ends with Leon motionless and people rushing to his aid, we go back to the announcers. BRANNIGAN Leon was released from a local medical facility later that week and kept out of all competition due to amongst other injuries a concussion, in accordance with OAOAST medical protocol. His medical suspension is nearly over, but OAOAST officials have heard nothing from Leon since the attack. In the end, Leon's actions came back to haunt him. There won't be too many in the OAOAST locker room feeling sorry for Leon right about now after the way he's acted in the past year and a half. And the irony is, Anglesault feels that he's perfectly justified and entitled to what he did. After all, what grounds does Leon Rodez have complain about somebody stealing the Money In The Bank briefcase? The real message is clear though. Everybody is now on notice. Even those who assume that they're "on the same wavelength" as Anglesault. What Anglesault wants, he gets, no matter who he has to trample over on the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Final Ride” by TRU plays Reject and TK to the ring. BUFFER The following Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 480 pounds, they are ranked third in the Jannetty bracket and represent THE DEADLY ALLIANCE... THUNDERKID and RRRRRREEEEEEJECT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reject and TK stare down the OAOAST Galaxy before posing. COACH Here’s my pick to win the 2011 Anderson Cup, Tony B. BRANNIGAN Reject and TK are the favorites of many, but so are their opponents. It’s why the 2011 Anderson Cup has been dubbed the most unpredictable ever. “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues. BUFFER And their opponents, ranked #6 in the Jannetty bracket… total combine weight 485 pounds… “GENTLEMAN” TIM CASH and “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Citizen Soldiers burst onstage to a thunderous ovation. BRANNIGAN The OAOAST Galaxy has exploded! COACH Oh how I wish that were true. Reject and TK are in no hurry to get this party started. They step outside for a chat. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Yeah, make them compete at your pace. BRANNIGAN Compete at their pace? Reject and TK promised a beat down last week. That sure as hell isn’t going to happen standing outside the ring. * DINGDINGDING * Reject sends TK in as the bell sounds, prompting BW to flap his arms like a chicken. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" REJECT BW is backed into the corner after locking up with TK. BRANNIGAN Will we get a clean break? The ref calls for one but TK has other ideas in mind, like a kick to the gut. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A series of European uppercuts follow before TK whips BW in for a press slam, but BW floats over and delivers a side Russian leg sweep! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Citizen Soldiers tag and perform a double clothesline. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! TK kicks out and charges into an arm drag. Again. And again. Then a hip toss. Again. And again. Cash shoots TK into the ropes and connects with a BACKBRAIN WHEELKICK that knocks TK out to the floor, but little does Cash know a blind tag was made. He charges off the ropes and eats a hard forearm smash by Reject, who doesn’t bother with the cover. Instead he decides to punish Cash in the corner. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Cash turns the tables and unloads with overhand chops. * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Reject delivers a knee to the gut and then a snap suplex. The R-man pops to his feet, points at BW and then stomps Cash right in the face. BARON TK tags in and executes a fall away slam. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY BW! COACH Oh, c’mon, man. BRANNIGAN Baron put a little extra something in that save. He’s still fuming over that message sent to him by Reject. Cash is rammed into the boot of Reject and then worked over by RVD style kicks following a tag. Reject slams Cash mid-ring before going up top for a BIG ELBOW… but Cash moves and Reject crashes hard! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BRANNIGAN Nobody home there. BW receives the tag and the place goes bananas as the Lone Star Gunslingers fire away on Reject. He whips Reject in for a BAAAAAACK body drop, then a big… NO! Reject ducks the boot and nearly gives a EULOGY, but BW shoves him off and connects with a Cowboy Bebop elbow -- POW -- right between the eyes! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY TK! BW and TK go toe to toe until BW ducks a haymaker and connects with a boomerang lariat. BRANNIGAN The MySpace Comeback. BW turns his attention back to Reject and walks into a DDT! COACH Yes! But again Reject bypasses a pin attempt to dispense pain. He tenderizes the face of BW before taking aim at the body with martial arts style kicks in the corner. BW is snapped mare out and CHOKED in plain view of the official. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Reject waits till the very last second to break and hears it from the OAOAST Galaxy. “REJECT SUCKS!” “REJECT SUCKS!” “REJECT SUCKS!” Music to his ears, Reject offers a wry grin before standing over BW and yelling “GIDDY UP!” BRANNIGAN (disgusted sigh) COACH (laughing uncontrollably) REJECT The laughter ends when BW delivers a KNEE TO THE GROIN! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BRANNIGAN There’s your new American Idol, folks, because right now nobody in the world can hit a high note like Reject. COACH Real funny. But I want to know how come Citizen Soldiers haven’t been disqualified? That was a deliberate low blow. BRANNIGAN It happened so fast I don’t think the ref saw it. COACH Only Clem Buzzlefoxer could get away with that defense and he ain’t the referee. “LET’S GO BARON!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “LET’S GO BARON!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* Fueled by the crowd BW tags out, but so too does Reject. TK throws a European uppercut which Cash counters into a backslide! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash stuns TK with overhand chops before sending him in for the ride, but TK puts on the brakes and delivers a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! TK sets Cash for the THUNDERBOLT brain buster, but Cash slips over the top and rolls back with TK in a pinning combination. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH There’s so much action going on I don’t know how to call it. BRANNIGAN Don’t worry. That’s my job anyway. COACH Well call it. BRANNIGAN I can’t! There’s too much action! TK tries to nab Cash on the rebound with a monkey flip, but Cash is quick to grab the legs and apply the Texas Cloverleaf! BRANNIGAN Midwest Sling! Will TK submit? COACH No way! Reject blindsides Cash to breakup the hold, knocking him outside in the process. He follows Cash to do more damage, at least that’s what his intentions were until BW makes the save. TK comes to his partner’s defense, as does Cash and a mini-battle royal ensues. BRANNIGAN They’re throwing down in Cincinnati~! COACH Both teams need to be careful, though. A double count out would eliminate them all from the Anderson Cup. As the battle continues outside, the ref proceeds with the 10 count. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! * DINGDINGDING * BARON, CASH, REJECT & TK BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has counted BOTH teams out. As result, both teams have been eliminated from the Anderson Cup. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BRANNIGAN Both teams let their emotions get the best of them and now they’ve been eliminated from the Anderson Cup. COACH At least they gave us one helluva match.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 BRANNIGAN Fans, I’m getting word we have a developing situation backstage! Indeed there is as we find…MORGAN NERDLY on her knees, gallons of tears pouring from her blue eyes. Next to her sits a small concrete block covered in blood. Next to that block lies Christopher Patrick Allen, who’s face wears the crimson mask, and who’s body is littered with burns marks. MORGAN Why?! Why did you make me do this?! We used to be friends! Why did you take him away from me?! Why did you hurt Leon?! I loved him! He was all I had! Why did you do this to me?! Answer me! Answer me! Suddenly a rush of security and backstage staff led by Detective Tango Bosley and Bohemoth, arrive on the scene. BOSLEY You god damn crazy bitch! What the hell did you do to my boy? I’m the big man on campus, bitch, and I’m ready to throw hands!Zzzzzzzzzzzt BOSLEY I’m the Alpha Male of The Group, I smack bitches like you around every morning as part of a balanced breakfast. COME ON!ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! BOSLEY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bosley goes down in a heap, falling next to his battered partner. Morgan then turns hate filled eyes on Bo. BOHEMOTH Bruce Blank doesn’t scare me, what makes you think a little girl like you does? At that Bohemoth immediately springs into action, taking a swing at the little Nerdly. But thankfully….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA grabs Morgan and whisks her away. MORGAN Let go! BOHEMOTH Get her back here! ALIX (to Bo) Hey, go kidnap a Princess and chuck some barrels at Mario, loser. BOHEMOTH You think you’re funny? ALIX Yes! Check this joke out: What do massage therapist eat for dinner? SPA-Ghetti. Bohemoth launches into a rage and dives at Alix and Morgan. But the wealth of backstage staff holds the big man back. ALIX Are you okay, Morgan? MORGAN Leave me alone! I hate you! Morgan frees herself from Alix’s grip, and runs off just as fast as her little legs can carry her. Alix is left to scratch her head in confusion, while Bohemoth rages behind her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith And I was 'round when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain Made damn sure that Pilate Washed his hands and sealed his fate The Guns and Roses version of Sympathy for the devil brings out angry feelings in the now booing audience. Green and gold lights swim across the entrance stage, as Lorelei DeCenzo, clad in her favorite yellow strapless dress, walks out. With a confident smile on her face she points to the entrance doors, bringing out Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. The Enterprise leaders hook arms with their CFO, and the trio strut down the entrance ramp with arrogant expressions. BUFFER The following match is a 2010 Anderson Cup match in the Morrison bracket! Now making their way to the ring being accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, first from Vero Beach, Florida, the United States champion, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! And his partner, now residing in Washington DC, he is THE GOD CHILD CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Together they are your number four seeds….THE ENTERPRIIIISSEEEEEEEE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BRANNIGAN Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker are looking to be the first team to ever win two Anderson Cups. COACH It’s a tough field this year, but The Enterprise always has some tricks up their sleeve. They gotta at least make it to the finals. Inside the ring the three join hands and lift their arms into the air in celebration of their greatness and their vast wealth.HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT The crowd’s mood instantly improves as Family Force 5’s Love Addict plays, and red and white lights whirl around the entrance stage. Once the entrance doors spread apart, The Love Docs stride onto the stage. A sexy striptease drives the ladies wild, and leaves them hungry for more. Their appetites are satisfied as the lab coats are whisked away to reveal their firm bodies in tiny white shorts. BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, from the Windy City, they are DOCTOR MAX ANDERSON, DOCTOR STEVEN PIGLEY, the number five seeds, THE LOVE DOCTOOORRRSSSSS! COACH How the hell did these guys get to be number four seeds when Mister Dick and Malaysia are number eight seeds. BRANNIGAN Mister Dick and Malaysia don’t wrestle as a team often, and The Love Doctors have been tearing it up in our non televised events. The Enterprise decides to get an early jump on The Love Doctors, attacking them as they near the ring. BRANNIGAN Moneymaker and Wright want that early advantage! Problematically for Wright and Moneymaker, The Love Docs are game opponents and begin overwhelming the former tag team champions. Wright is beaten to the ground by Anderson. Seeing this, Moneymaker tries to make a hasty escape. But he’s trailed by Pigley. The good doctor grabs onto Moneymaker’s jet black hair and slams his face into the ring posts. The billion dollar heir’s head rings like a cathedral bell. As he tries to cope with this anguish, Pigley throws him into the ring. This leads to referee Charles Robinson calling for the bell. DING DING DING BRANNIGAN We are officially underway and things do not look good for The Enterprise. Pigley rolls into the ring, ready to deal more damage out to Moneymaker. But the tycoon strikes him low as he approaches. With Pigley crippled, Moneymaker throws him shoulder first into the ring posts. The former world champion takes a moment to catch his breath. When that moment passes, he begins kicking his foe in the stomach. COACH The Enterprise has got the toughest team in the tournament. You got a former world champion, and a guy that ain’t been beaten in over a year. How do you stop them? Pigley has a hold of the ropes, which causes Robinson to call for a clean break. Moneymaker protests such a directive rather rudely. While he argues with the referee, Pigley pulls himself out the ropes and leans against the post. Moneymaker sees his vulnerability, and swiftly attacks with a knife edge chop. Pigley rolls beneath the attacking blow, forcing Moneymaker to fall into the corner. Now with the advantage, Pigley lights up Moneymaker’s chest with chops of his own. The billion dollar heir slinks out the corner to protect himself, but continues to be mangled by those chops. BRANNIGAN The Love Doctors could provide us with our second upset of the tournament in as many weeks. COACH Piercey D and J.Riggs beating the Christ Air Express weren’t no upset. That was just The Result getting the result. BRANNIGAN Thanks to his kid sister! He had to let his baby sister fight his battles for him. What kind of man is that? Pigley grabs onto Moneymaker’s arm and hurls him into the ropes. Moneymaker rumbles back with a lariat that’s quickly ducked by Pigley. He bounces off the ropes once more and tries another lariat. As its ducked again, Moneymaker must run off the ropes one more time. But this time he carries himself into a spinning elbow from the stripper turned doctor turned wrestler. Moneymaker gets to his feet, holding his sore face. Pigley latches onto his free hand and sends him back into the ropes. The Doctor of Doctornomics makes the mistake of lowering his head, which allows Moneymaker to strike him in the chest with his red boots. The tycoon then snaps on a front facelock, and attempts a vertical suplex. But Pigley summons a burst of strength and executes a suplex of his own! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” Pigley floats over for the pinfall… ONE! Moneymaker with the kickout! Pigley brings Moneymaker to his feet, only to have the billionaire slug him in the stomach. Moneymaker grabs onto Pigley’s hair and drags him to the corner, where he applies tag to Christian Wright. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Why do people want to hate on someone who’s got some success? Can’t a man get his shine without the haters? The God Child picks up right where Moneymaker left off, stabbing Pigley in the stomach with his Brooks Brother’s loafers. Wright then launches Pigley into the cables. But rather than comeback, Pigley hooks his arms around the top rope and stands still. Wright charges in and gets swatted away by an elbow. Wright staggers backwards until Pigley grabs onto his hair and guides him to the Love Doc’s corner. A tag is then made to Doctor Max Anderson. Anderson steps into the ring, and softens up CW with a knee to stomach. Doubled up, Wright is nearly forced into a run to the ropes. But he reverses the attack and sends Anderson to the cables. The Chicago native returns to CW with a cross body block that bowls him over. After kipping up, Anderson shakes what the good lord gave him in the direction of an appalled Theodore Moneymaker. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” With Anderson busy wowing the ladies, Wright sees this as a good time to sneak attack him. But Anderson is well prepared for his arrival and nails him in the stomach with a side kick. He hammers CW with two swift punches to the skull before trying to send him into the corner. But the hold is reversed, and Anderson finds himself in the corner. Wright quickly charges in at full speed. But as he leaps into the air for a splash, Anderson catches him with a major league spinebuster that pops the crowd! BRANNIGAN Doctor Anderson could have drilled him through the canvas! Another pinfall is attempted… ONE! TWO! Wright throws the shoulder up. He comes to his feet, but is snared into a side headlock from Anderson. The good doctor drags Wright into the corner where he applies the tag to Pigley. Anderson holds Wright into a bearhug, during which Pigley runs the ropes. Coming back he extends his arm and strikes Wright with a lariat! BRANNIGAN The defibrillator! As Anderson slides out the ring, Pigley hooks the legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Lorelei distracts the referee with a frantic waving of her arms. BRANNIGAN She looks like a baby chick trying to flying when its on fire. Pigley dismounts Christian, in order to return Robinson’s attention to where it should be. But Wright sneaks behind him and nails him with a low blow. Pigley’s misery increases ten fold when Wright throws him to the canvas with a back suplex! Right as he pins Pigley, the referee turns around ready to make the count… ONE! TWO! Pigley with the kickout! “OINK! OINK! OINK!” the fans chant to rally Doctor Pigley. The Doctor of Doctornomics fights to his feet and trades blows with Wright. The unbeatable superstar wins out with a series of furious European Uppercuts. Pigley falls back into the ropes, which allows Wright to easily clothesline him over the ring ropes. Wright taunts Anderson with graceful, almost presidential hand waves. Done with Anderson, Wright turns his attention back to Pigley…and is nailed in the gut with a shoulder tackle! Pigley sunset flips back into the ring, but Wright refuses to go down with him. Try and try as he might, Pigley can’t pull Wright down. That’s why Wright drops down and pins him to the canvas… ONE! TWO! No! Wright walks back to his corner and applies the tag with Moneymaker. This does not please the audience, who shower The Enterprise CEO with hatred. Moneymaker takes a few seconds to chastise the crowd for their words. When that’s over, he joins with Wright in hooking on a front facelock to Anderson. BRANNIGAN The Enterprise have something dangerous in mind. The snobbish duo attempts to lift Anderson off the canvas for a vertical suplex. The doctor gets halfway into the air, before a mighty surge of power allows him to suplex both Wright and Moneymaker! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Anderson gives a sexy swivel of his hips before dropping down onto Moneymaker for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright breaks up the pinfall with a boot to Anderon’s head. This displeases Anderson, and the moment he gets up to confront CW, The God Child hightails it backwards. Anderson chases him to the very edge of the ring, where Wright ducks between the ropes to hide behind Lorelei. BRANNIGAN That’s the man who can’t be stopped? A man hiding behind a woman? Anderson gets ready to exit the ring and attack Wright, but finds himself clubbed in the back by Moneymaker. The rich Floridian slides a front facelock onto Anderson. He tries to fight free, but his efforts are in vain as Moneymaker lifts him onto the third turnbuckle. The Billion Dollar heir then climbs atop the turnbuckles to join Anderson. He laughs his trademark evil laugh as he begins slapping Anderson. BRANNIGAN You’ve got to have more respect for your opponents than that. COACH Everyone knows The Love Doctors are a good team, but they’re out of The Enterprise’s league. Anderson manages to recover in the midst of all these slaps. This permits him to shove Moneymaker back to the canvas. The US champion can’t quite land on his feet, and awkwardly crashes onto his back. As Moneymaker is laid out, Anderson stands up. He grinds his hips like any good stripper should before taking off with a majestic 450 splash! He twirls through the air, quickly descending upon Moneymaker. But the tycoon rolls out the way and Anderson slams full force into the canavs! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” Anderson is in serious pain, groaning in agony. COACH Damn, Anderson, didn’t you go to college? Shoulda known Mister Moneymaker wasn’t just going to lie there like that. Smarten up, son. Moneymaker smiles to himself as he hooks onto both Anderson’s legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! This kickout brings out Lorelei’s anger, and she lambastes the poor referee. Moneymaker prefers kinder methods and offers the referee a bribe to count faster the next time. With the referee supposedly in his pocket, Moneymaker goes back to assaulting Anderson. He terrorizes Anderson with stomps, before pulling him upright. His arms wrap around Anderson’s waist and he lifts him into the air and brings him back down with a sidewalk slam! The legs are again hooked for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! No! Moneymaker grabs onto Anderson’s arm and drags him to The Enterprise corner. There he applies the tag to Wright, who finds himself doused in hatred by the Ohio crowd. Wright enters the ring with pomp and circumstance, alienating the crowd even further. He grabs onto Anderson’s brown hair and brings him off the canvas. An irish sends Anderson into the ropes. After bouncing back Wright crushes his insides with the Wright Off (sky high!) As Lorelei and Moneymaker clap for the lethal move, Robinson counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Anderson lifts his shoulder off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN The Love Doctors aren’t going to go down easily. COACH But they will go down. Eventually. Anderson comes to his feet under his own power. He’s tagged in the jaw by several punches from his opponent. With Anderson dazed, Wright takes a run off the ropes. He returns with a lariat, but Anderson rolls beneath the attack. He pops up in front of Pigley and makes a timely tag! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer, as Pigley leaps into the ring. He charges at Wright and takes him off his feet with a flying elbow! Wright gets back up and is under fire by an arsenal of punches from the good doctor. The God Child fights back with European Uppercuts that stagger Pigley. As Pigley is dazed, Wright gets a chance to bounce off the ropes. His return isn’t overly pleasant as Pigley upends him with a back body drop! Wright lands flat on the canvas, moaning in pain. Pigley then flips onto his chest with a standing moonsault. Robinson counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Moneymaker breaks up the pinfall! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Ohio crowd’s mood is improved somewhat when Anderson returns to the action with punches to Moneymaker’s jaw. Anderson’s blows back Moneymaker into the ropes, and leave him dizzied. Anderson darts to the ropes, giving him the momentum he needs to lariat Moneymaker over the top rope and to the floor! COACH Mister Moneymaker! Help him, Tony! BRANNIGAN Why should I help him? COACH Because he’s your cousin! Anderson and Pigley take turns in punching CW. Pigley then grabs Wright and hurts him with an inverted atomic drop. Max runs the ropes, and returns to dropkick Wright square in the face! BRANNIGAN Lovematic Grampa! CLASSIC Love Doctors. Pigley, the legal man, makes the crucial pinfall… ONE! TWO! Lorelei is on the ring apron, distracting Robinson with never ending small talk. This allows COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR to sneak into the ring. He clubs an unexpecting Anderson in the back, and then throws him across the ring with a Harvardplex(t-bone suplex)! BRANNIGAN CMJ has no reason to be in this ring! Pigley succeeds in ending the threat CMJ poses by dropkicking him through the ropes. But when he turns around Wright grabs him into a front facelock. There’s a moment’s struggle from Pigley, but he’s easily subdued and nailed with Wright’s version of the gord buster! BRANNIGAN Stock Market Crash! COACH This one is over, Tony B. Wright drapes his arm across Pigley’s chest for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING “Sympathy For The Devil” fires back up as the crowd groans over the outcome. BUFFER Your winners and advancing to the second round of the Anderson Cup….THE ENTERPRISE! CMJ gets to his feet a little groggy, but happily welcoming the appreciative hugs of Moneymaker and Lorelei. Inside the ring Wright has his hand raised by the referee, as he proclaims his greatness to the world. BRANNIGAN The Enterprise has moved on, and Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker inch closer to their second Anderson Cup. Goodnight, fans!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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