OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 1/10/11

[Tony149]

The show kicks off tonight with immediate action, as an already bloodied BOHEMOTH is on the ground in the backstage area, being pummeled by an equally bloody ZACK MALIBU!

TONY
This is live, everybody! I'm Tony "The Body" Brannigan, Coach is here with me as always, and HeldDOWN~! is off and running!

Malibu hammers on Bo, but he's soon pried off of his rival by TANGO BOSLEY and CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN! The members of VICE pull Zack away from their associate, giving him time to recover...and Bo tackles Malibu, freeing him from the grasp of VICE but causing the two of them to sail over a table with thousands of dollars in video equipment, much of which falls to the floor with them!

COACH
I'm SO glad I'm out here right now and can't be blamed for that!

VICE watch on, but soon enough, more people join the party, as D*LUX show up and square off with Bosley and CPA! Bo drags a weakened Zack to his feet and slams his face into the table, then pulls him up and rocks him with a solid right hand.

TONY
Zack's definitely not one hundred percent after going through hell with Todd Cortez in that cage match at the New Year's Spectacular, and my guess is that the events of that evening are what's drawn Zack to attack Bo here tonight!

As the tag teams brawl, and Bo goes for Zack, a flood of security, officials, curious onlookers, OAOAST roster members, and anyone desperate enough for camera time flood the area, trying to break up the brawls! As people get in the way of Bo as he goes for Zack, he starts nailing ALL OF THEM, dropping security and road agents as if they're nothing...and Malibu bursts through the chaos with a tackle of his own, running Bo right into the wall! Malibu then goes OFF with right hands aplenty, then resorts to biting, sinking his teeth into the forehead of the Metrosexual Monster!

COACH
Damn! Zack thinks he's one of those sparkly Twilight guys!

TONY
He's biting his forehead, Coach, not his neck!

Zack is pulled away from Bo, but now Bo is enraged, throwing the table supported the video equipment over on it's side, sending the rest of that equipment flying across the floor as well! Bo and Zack come at each other once again, trading shots in a furious frenzy, as even MORE people come in to break it up! Anglesault is now on the scene as well, and does his best to calm Bo down, telling him "now's not the time". Bo keeps trying to walk past, but Anglesault stands his ground and shouts at his associate the same words over and over again, all while Zack struggles to go after him again. Anglesault angrily orders for security to keep Zack back, and from there we quickly cut into our traditional opening sequence!

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-


The following song plays....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12hSLRF85Wg

It’s a rainy, dark, night in the middle of an urban area. We find an ANGLE AWARD, full size and shimmering gold, standing by itself at an empty train stop. The award comes to life and begins singing!

ANGLE AWARD
Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere

Krista, who holds the record for most Angle Awards won, emerges from a walkway, holding an umbrella. She stares deeply at the Angle Award and also sings.

KRISTA
Just a city boy
Born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere

The scene is smoky, dimly lit lounge. All eyes are on the small concert stage which features Krista, in sparkling gold dress, singing into a microphone.

KRISTA
A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

We go back to the train station, where Krista eagerly runs into the arms of the Angle Award.

KRISTA and ANGLE AWARD
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Krista gazes out an apartment window in a sprawling metropolis ghetto. Across the way the Angle Award does the same.

ANGLE AWARD AND KRISTA
Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice just one more time

The Angle Award and Krista run to meet each other in the center of a busy street. Rain falls around them as traffic swerves to avoid them.

ANGLE AWARD AND KRISTA
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Krista and the Angle Award hook arms and meerily skip down the street, singing in the pouring rain.

KRISTA and ANGLE AWARD
Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people
Living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

The scenes alternate back and forth between images of Krista and The Angle Award embracing in various locations seen throughout the video.

KRISTA AND ANGLE AWARD
Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to that feelin'
Streetlight people

OAOAST ANGLE AWARDS 2011


We cut to a roaring audience with their eyes on a blue lit entrance stage that houses two large gold Angle Awards

THE VOICE
Here to present the award for tag team of the year please welcome, MELODY NERDLY!

MELODY
Thank you, thank you, and welcome one and all to the 2011 Angle Awards. Tag teams are the foundation on which goodness is formed. No one can defeat evil all by themselves. Its just not possible. They need a partner. Batman had to have Robin to stop The Joker from blowing up City Hall. Mario had to have Luigi to save Peach from Bowser a gazillion times. Hiro needed Andon to save the most underappreciated show in TV history from being cancelled. I can’t make it past the third level in Lego Star Wars for the wii unless Melissa caves into my begging and sits down and plays with me. She’s awesome with Anakin. So, yeah, tag teaming equals important. I think I might even make a youtube tribute video to tag teams, be sure to like it. Here are your nominees for tag team of the year!

~~~TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR~~~
LDC MONEYGANG
CHICKS OVER DICKS
PRL AND VICTOR PEREZ
THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGERS
THE CAN AMS
~~~TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR~~~

MELODY
THE wInN0Rr is…..CHICKS OVER DICKS!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The fans applaud as Alix and Krista, both sitting at separate tables rise to receive their awards. They each tentatively make their way onto the stage, neither one glancing at the other. A long awkward silence ensues, that’s so quiet you can hear a fan cough.

ALIX
Look, I got something to say! Like, I just want you to know, I didn’t throw in the towel at New Years Spectacular to get back at you or anything like that. I had some pipe bombs, and members of Hezbollah on call for that. I tossed in the towel because I didn’t wanna see you get hurt, ya know. I was really bummed watching you in pain and stuff. Like, I know how stubborn you can be, and I knew you weren’t ever gonna tap out. And he wasn’t ever going to break the hold, because that Stone Cold dude would’ve gave him a stunner and then poured some steveweiser’s on his chest. And as someone who’s poured beer on her chest many a times at many a strip club, that stuff is really cold! So that means you were in so much pain, and you coulda been injured and I couldn’t stand to see you like that. So it was either threaten to cut up one of your credit cards or throw in the towel, and Vinny Valentine already went through your purse earlier and even though the bear trap you set in front your stuff caught Tony Tourettes it didn’t catch Vinny. So all I could do was throw in the towel. I’m super sorry.

KRISTA
Its okay, sweetie. I’m sorry I tricked you. That wasn’t cool of me. And I’m sorry to all the fans for interrupting your ass shaking, because if you didn’t have an ass fetish before, you sure had one after that display! And I’m sorry, I never treated you like an equal. I guess I always took you for granted. I just figured that wherever I’d go you’d follow unfailingly, except maybe to a Toby Keith concert, I don’t think anyone would willingly subject themselves to that hell. It just never crossed my mind that you wouldn’t be at my side. I was wrong to take you for granted like that. And I was wrong not to be happy for you when you won the world title. But that title doesn’t make you who you are. You’re more than just my girlfriend, you’re Alix, and you have a heart of gold and people love you for it. You’re one of the most important things in my life, and our family isn’t the same without you. So, what I’m asking is, will you please take me back.

Alix takes a moment to consider the offer. Krista stares at her with pleading eyes, trying to will Alix back into her eyes. After nearly twenty seconds a wide smile creeps on Alix’s face!

ALIX
Yes!

Alix leaps into Krista’s arms, which is a bit of a problem because Alix is a bit heavier than she remembered! Krista manages to support Alix’s weight for a little while, then finally has no choice but to set her hyper girlfriend down. With Alix beaming in the background, Krista leans into microphone.

KRISTA
This award is very nice, and we’re both very thankful to win it. But I have other matters to get to. Anglesault, I’d be remiss if I did not address you. I’ve ignored you for many of the same reasons I ignore a piece of dog shit left on the sidewalk. Either some poor fool will step on it, or some migrant worker will scoop it up. Unless Paul Bunyon happens to be hanging around there’s no one big enough to step on you, and as for the migrant workers, I think Alix dressing up as a Klu Klux Klan member for Halloween scared them all off.

ALIX
That was Halloween? I was just trying make a strategic alliance with my Aryan brothers for the prison drug trade.

KRISTA
So, alas and alack you are still here. You’ve got every right to be, you founded this company that has killed braincells, offended ethnic groups across the country, and produced some kick ass opium brownies, again thanks to Alix. But for a while, you were one man’s problem. Zack’s problem. The same way Coach deals with feminine itch is the same way Zack was left to deal with Anglesault. It was cool that way to. I was left to molest Queen Esther, receive creepy thongs from Mister Dick, be a major and awful bitch to Alix and even run a lucrative cockfighting ring using money siphoned from United Negro College fund. But then you and that wilderbeast nephew of your’s stole my world title. That doesn’t make you my problem. That makes me your problem.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

KRISTA
Now ask anyone who’s ever gone against me. Mister Dick, Malyasia, Tony Brannigan, Theodore Moneymaker, Leon Rodez, Luicus Soul,  Rico De Janerio, Queen Esther, even Zack Malibu himself. Ask them what happens when you make the worst mistake of your life, no not paying money to see that Yogi Bear movie, but crossing Krista Isadora Duncan. What happens is at first you think you’ve got the upper hand, you think you’re ahead, you may be the one to finally get one up on ol Krista. Then the inevitable starts to come to fruition. The promos start to become humiliating, the skits start to embarrass you, your heat slowly starts being killed, soon the tag matches begin, you and your partner are outclassed but you escape with your dignity, the promos start to become even more scathing, the fans take you less and less seriously, the match comes around and I’ve beat you before the bell has even rung. All that’s left is to strip you of your self respect and fashion into a nice coat for my skip trips to Colorado. Don’t wear fur, because fur is murder. Unless it’s Yogi Bear. I really hated that movie. So my point to you, Anglesault is that you think you’ve launched Young Jason’s career. No, no, no, my feeble, ugly, possibly transsexual bald headed friend, all you’ve done is launched a torpedo named Krista Isadora Duncan right at it. I’ll take back my world title because I have to. I’ll take Silver’s dignity because I want to.

The crowd cheers Krista’s proclamation of doom for Silver. As they continue to root her on, she and Alix leave arm and arm.

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the heel of the year award….MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER

Great boos are heard in response to the United States Champion arriving onto the stage.

MONEYMAKER
Hello, America. How are you on this fine evening? I hope the new year is treating you well. It should certainly treat the winner of the heel of the year award very well. For this man shall know that he will one day rise above the flames of hatred to ascend to lofty perches of heroism. I to was once crucified as a villain, persecuted for my ideals, hounded for my beliefs. I walked a desert alone, thirsty for acceptance, hungry for acknowledgement. Then I stumbled upon an oasis, an oasis of truth, and drinking from it was the OAOAST Galaxy. Its members looked up at me and they smiled the warmest of smiles. They said come drink with us, brother, for you are our Messiah and we welcome you as our hero. Without further adieu I give to you the heel of the year.
 
~~~HEEL OF THE YEAR~~~
MISTER DICK
REJECT
LANDON MADDIX
LEON RODEZ
THUNDERKID
~~~HEEL OF THE YEAR~~~

MONEYMAKER
And the winner is…LEON RODEZ!

That announcement is proceeded by jeers and taunts from the sold out audience. Their ill will is tempered somewhat by the sight of Morgan slinking onto the stage.

MORGAN
H-hi. I'm...here to accept Leon's award. Leon is a...very nice person. He's been...wronged in life by a lot of bad people. So, um, he has to be just as bad as they are in order to survive. Deep down he's a very good person, and he....well...he cares about me. And I-I-I lo-love him. I just wish you could see the good in him like I do. He...didn't deserve to be attacked by Anglesault like he was. I'll...make....them pay. I may be little...but I can still, um, hurt people. Th-thank you.

Morgan scampers off stage, wanting to get out the spotlight as quickly as possible.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Returning from break, we find Michael Buffer in the center of the ring.

BUFFER
The following is a first round Anderson Cup match in the Morrison bracket!

“Like The Angels” plays to a rousing ovation from the Canadian crowd. Melody Nerdly rushes out onto the stage first, and summons out his brothers with a pair of pokeballs. MARV and MEL walk out onto stage, slightly embarrassed by their extremely dorky sister. But those ill feelings are put aside and two high five,  sending an orange pyro rocket through the air on the right side of the stage, and a blue on the left side.

MELODY
Okay, little brothers, make like Road Runner and haul ass!

MARV and MEL follow Melody’s orders, and speed down the entrance ramp. Melody isn’t quite so enthusiastic and instead strolls down the ramp while playing on her ipod.

BUFFER
Introducing the number three seeds,  from Edmonton, Alberta, being accompanied by Melody Nerdly, they are HIGH TIMES 2010 STONES OF THE YEAR…MARV AND MEL THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESSSSSS!!!

The twins hit the ring, and make the smoke weed gesture to their cheering fans. Melody does the classic Sonic the Hedgehog foot tap to express her desire for things to hurry up.

BRANNIGAN
The Christ Air Express were once tag team champions many years ago, when they were just fresh faced rookies. Now older and wiser, they seek to climb the tag team mountain once more.

As soon as “Like The Angels” fades away, “Californiacation” slides into its place. As white lights blast across the entry way, James Riggs strides out from the entrance doors. He adjusts his black elbow pads, and makes a small sneer before heading down the ramp.

BUFFER
And their opponents…..from Long Beach, California he is…JJAAAAAMMMEESSSSS RRIIIIIGGGGGSSS!

Riggs solemnly stomps along the ramp, ignoring the hatred and bile directed at him. He comes to a stop at the bottom of the ramp, and turns his head back to the vacant entry way.

Cue:: Enrique Igelsias-Tonight

Here’s the situation
Been to every nation
Nobody’s ever made me feel the way that you do
You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse I don’t mean to be rude

But tonight I’m fucking you

From parted entrance slides a wide stand that houses a DJ’s flashy and diamond encrusted turntables. Standing behind these beautiful state of the art DJ tools stands Pierce Duncan. With Oakley shades framing his face, Piercey D gets down on the ones and twos, aka he spins the a few hits on the turntables! The crowd doesn’t necessarily appreciate his DJing skills and blasts him with a wave of angered heat.  This rage does not do much to dampen Pierce’s spirits, as he glides down the entrance ramp with a proud and arrogant smile.

BUFFER
And his partner, from Los Angeles, California, he is THE RESULT PIERCE DUNCAAANNNNNNNNNNN!

Pierce and Riggs charge into the ring, which may not be the smartest idea in the world as MARV and MEL immediately pounce on them.

DING DING DING

MARV handles Riggs while MEL takes on The Result. Krista’s baby bro is unceremoniously dumped from the ring by a dropkick. He lands sprawled out on the mats, in front of Melody, who snaps a picture with her iPhone and quickly makes it her wallpaper! While Melody chuckles over Piercey D’s misfortune, her brothers whip Riggs into the ropes. After he bounces back the boys from Edmonton nail a Double Kickflip (double dropsault)!

BRANNIGAN
The Christ Air Express is firing on all cylinders early on.

Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer ushers MEL out the ring, leaving MARV to handle J.Riggs.  MARV tags Riggs with several back elbows, which leave the Long Beach native out on his feet. As Riggs is dazed, MARV is able to run the ropes. He returns to coil his arms around Riggs’ head and spike him into the canvas with a running DDT!  Riggs clutches his sore head, and is then shoved onto his back for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Riggs makes the kickout.

COACH
You know Anglesault ain’t gonna tolerate another failure by Riggs. He might let Pierce slide because he’s Krista’s brother and he’s a rookie, but Riggs has to step it up.

MARV picks Riggs off the canvas by his arm, and uses that grip to whip the former US champion into the ropes. A blind tag is made by Pierce. That does little good for Riggs as he’s knocked over by a spinning forearm. As soon as he goes down in pain, Pierce enters the contest. He aims a lariat MARV’s head, but the skater boy ducks the attack and comes behind Pierce to grab a waistlock. Pierce has no intention of being brought down with any type of move and begins elbowing MARV in the face.  These attacks force MARV to break the hold and attend to his now aching head. With MARV distracted by the pain, Pierce takes off to the ropes. But as he approaches the former tag team champion, he’s taken off his feet by an arm drag! The Result tries to scramble away, but is held down by an arm bar.

BRANNIGAN
Pierce has a lot to live up to. He’s a got a sister who’s a four time world champion, a niece who’s a two time women’s champion, and another niece who is the Queen Of The Ring.

Pierce fights to his feet, but the painful submission hold still remains. Thus Pierce is forced to take an under handed method to escape; he stomps directly onto MARV’s foot. MARV howls in pain and breaks the hold, allowing Pierce to escape the submission and retreat to the ropes. He roars back with a lariat, but is thrown to the canvas with another arm drag. Rather than be trapped inside an armbar, Pierce scurries to the ropes and clings on to them for safety.

MELODY
Oh-Em-Gee what a coward! And I thought Neville from Harry Potter was a wuss.

COACH
Can’t stand this girl for nothing. Its like god mixed up the brains and the bodies when he was creating her.  He gave her a hot body but a nerd’s mind. Somewhere there’s a 300 pound heffer with the body Melody’s personality is supposed to have, who’s got the mind of a smoking hot slut. It makes me sad to see those tits wasted on such a mind.

Pierce orders Melody to keep her mouth shut. Continuing to boss people around, Pierce yells at MARV to tag in MEL.

BRANNIGAN
I don’t know why he wants MEL instead of MARV like that will make things easier. They’re basically the same person!

MARV shrugs his shoulders and obliges Pierce’s request by making the tag to his twin brother. Pierce steps upright and gets right into MEL’s face. He talks a large amount of trash, insulting nearly every member of MEL’s family, and that’s a lot of people! MEL finally has enough of Pierce’s crude comments and challenges him to a fight. Pierce agrees whole heartedly. He raises his hands…and then tags in Riggs!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Laughing to himself, Pierce exits the ring while Riggs steps inside it.  The Long Beach native steps into MEL for a lockup. For a moment it appears Riggs may be able to overpower his smaller foe. However, MEL succeeds in breaking free in order to fireman’s carry Riggs to the ground. Riggs is quick to find his way back upright, but is soon taken down by a hurricanrana! Dizzied, Riggs rolls himself upright, but can do nothing to stop MEL from running to the ropes. As soon as the skater hits the ropes, Pierce strikes him in the back of the head! The Result turns to the hissing crowd and laughs at his sneaky tactic. But when he turns around he’s superkicked clear off the apron!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

BRANNIGAN
Are we sure he’s related to Krista? Because I don’t think Krista would ever let herself get embarrassed like that.

Riggs grabs hold of MEL’s arm and swings him around. He stabs MEL in the stomach with his black boot. This permits him to capture MEL in a standing head scissors. He hooks his arms around MEL’s waist, expecting to be able to hit a pile driver. But MEL summons all the strength in his thin frame and upends Riggs over the ropes! J.Riggs lands right beside a recovering Pierce! Piercey D rises up, still weary from being superkicked. Apparently not weary enough to avoid getting riled up by the crowd. He turns a front row fan and smacks his beer right out his hand!

BRANNIGAN
There’s no need for that kind of treatment of our great fans.

Pierce turns back around and is nailed by a Shooting Star Suicída from MEL!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

COACH
This is terrible, Tony B.  If things keep going this way, Anglesault isn’t going to have a single team in Anderson Cup. They’ll both have been eliminated in the first round!

MEL high fives a few fans before he slides Riggs back into the ring. A pinfall attempt is then made….

ONE!


TWO!

Riggs gets the shoulder up, causing Melody to boo the referee and threaten to take him off her friends list on Facebook.

COACH
That old coot Clem thinks a computer is a toaster with a screen, what does he know about Facebook?

Bringing Riggs to his feet, MEL throws Anglesault’s goon into the corner. He charges in after him, but Riggs gets the elbow up and backs MEL away. As MEL nurses a sore face, J.Riggs backs onto the second rope. He dives off with a spear, but MEL catches onto his head and DDTs him into the canvas!

BRANNIGAN
That was just an amazing counter by MEL.

MEL drags Riggs over to the CAE corner, and slaps hands with MARV. After MARV steps into the ring, the Canadian duo whip Riggs into the ropes. He avoids a double lariat, but comes back into a double hip toss that leaves him hurting.

BRANNIGAN
The Christ Air Express is just too well oiled a machine to be stopped right now.

Riggs crawls to the corner and uses the ropes to pull himself upright. Unfortunately he leaves himself as an easy target, and MARV capitalizes on it with a running dropkick! Riggs stumbles out the corner, before gracelessly falling to the canvas. With J.Riggs knocked out MARV begins ascending to the top rope.

BRANNGIAN
Could MARV be looking for the Marvelosity?

Not if The Result can help it! He begins running over towards MARV, only to see the skater boy leap from the top rope and clothesline him off the apron!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

MARV takes a moment to flash the RAWK~! hand signal above Pierce’s fallen body. Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices the sliding figure of Riggs. Thus MARV steps out the way, and Riggs harmlessly sails out the ring. Bas Ol JR lands on his feet, however, and is able to take a swing at MARV. The shot grazes MARV’S chin, and the angered skater begins firing off right hands against Riggs’ face! Alarmed at the ferocity of these attacks, Riggs escapes back into the ring. MARV hastily follows him, sliding through a standing Riggs’ legs. Riggs swings around to get a read on MARV and is hammered by several more punches. Riggs falls into the ropes, which allows MARV to the run ropes in an effort to lariat him over the top. But as he rebounds, Riggs flourishes with a raised arm. MARV thankfully ducks the attack and leaps onto the third rope. He springboards back right as Riggs is turning around to strike him down with a leg lariat.

“SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE! SKATE OR DIE!”

MARV kips to an appreciative cheer from the audience, and heads to his corner to tag brother MEL back into the contest.

BRANNIGAN
The Christ Air Express has been in total control of Riggs and Pierce. I don’t mean to make comparisons but Krista has never not had control of a match. Even when she’s down, we’re just counting down the seconds until she comes back and wins. Not the same with The Result.

Riggs meets MEL’s arrival by turning to the corner and pleading with Pierce for the tag. But The Result is too busy doing stomach crunches on the apron!

BRANNIGAN
Okay, now that’s like Krista.

Resigning himself to his fate, Riggs lazily turns around to be smacked across the face with an elbow This drops him to his knees, which leads MEL to back into the ropes.   He explodes forward and nails Riggs with a shining wizard! Riggs screams in pain, before toppling over to his side.

BRANNIGAN
I think James Riggs and Pierce Duncan might be a bit out of their depth here.

COACH
Anglesault wouldn’t back two guys who were out of their depth.

BRANNIGAN
Well, Riggs kissed but to get his spot on Anglesault’s team, and Pierce was basically forced on Anglesault.

MEL begins pulling up Riggs by his mangy blond hair. Unfortunately he takes his eye off Riggs for a split second. That’s all the time Riggs needs to nail MEL low!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

MELODY
Not a cool story, bro! Not a cool story!

With MEL down and out for the time being, Pierce has conveniently finished his crunches and as such wants a tag. That’s a request  J.Riggs is all too happy to grant, and he tags the hand of his partner.

BRANNIGAN
So now Pierce wants to wrestle, when a man is down. Are we sure he’s a Duncan? Because he runs from a fight, and all the other’s run to a fight. And the others are two teenage girls and their middle aged celebrity mom!

Pierce lays several stomps into MEL’s back, before scrapping him off the canvas. Piercey D latches onto his wrist and shoots him into the corner. MEL slams hard against the turnbuckle posts, and dizzily staggers to the center of the ring. There Pierce picks him up and drops him onto the canvas with a body slam. This calls for the GUIDO FIST PUMP~!

COACH
The Result is feeling it tonight, Tony!

BRANNIGAN
A Jewish kid from Southern California is doing the Guido fist pump. Now I’ve seen it all.

Piercey D runs the ropes, coming back to attempt to nail a now standing MEL with a high knee. But, MEL slides out the way, and Pierce simply glides through thin air. Upon landing, he smashes a fist into his palm in frustration and anger.  He turns around to strike MEL, only for the skater to leap onto him in a hurricanrana attempt. But The Result refuses to go down, and instead powerbombs MEL into the canvas! Buzzlefoxer drops down to count the resulting pinfall….

ONE!


TWO!

Kickout!

“MEL! MEL! MEL!” the fans chant, led on by Melody Nerdly who’s iphone just went dead, forcing her to actually pay attention to the match. Elsewhere, The Result picks MEL off the canvas, in order to throw him into the ropes. The skater slides between a Pierce’s lunging legs, causing confusion for The Result. Taking advantage of Pierce’s confusion, MEL leaps onto the third rope. He leaps back at his foe with a cross bodyblock. But Riggs ducks underneath MEL’s descending frame, and the Edmonton native crashes into the canvas. As MEL groans in agony, Pierce points to his head as though ducking were some feat of superior intellect. Once he’s done informing the crowd of his ring smarts, he drops down onto MEL for the pin…

ONE!


TWO!

MEL makes the timely kickout. He rolls to his feet and is met with a pair of elbows from The Result. Deciding that this is more than enough work for the match, Pierce applies the tag to J.Riggs. Pierce is ready to get back to his stomach crunches, however Riggs pleads with him to perform a double team. Pierce takes a moment to ponder if he can afford to miss out on his stomach routine. However, he decides to aid his good friend, and joins him clubbing MEL in his back. With MEL dazed in the center of the ring, Pierce and Riggs back to opposite ends of the ring. The Guido Fist Pump is in full force by both men, earning a chorus of boos from the sold out audience. The club hopping duo cut short their fist pumping in order to surge forward with lariats. But right as they near their victim, he rolls clear of their attacks. Unable to hit the breaks, Riggs and Pierce end up lariating each other! The two men roll about the canvas in pain as the audience laughs at their misfortune.

BRANNIGAN
That would NEVER happen to Krista.

While his opponents are suffering through a hearty helping of agony, MEL is able to take a leisurely stroll to his corner. Furthering the casual atmosphere, MEL chats about the weather with his brother. When that’s done a gentlemanly tag is made between the twins.

MELODY
Come on, let’s get them! I’ve got a clan meeting for World of Warcraft in five minutes. We’re trying to decide if post raid in character cyber orgies are a good idea or not.

Riggs is first to his feet for AS’ crew, and zooms at MARV with a spear! MARV easily shifts to his left, and Riggs crashes his arm against the turnbuckle posts. He grunts in frustration as he gathers himself off the ground. Before he even has a chance to get his bearings, MARV takes him down with an armbar! Riggs hollers in complete pain, and is already on the verge of tapping.

BRANNIGAN
Could this be it for James Riggs and The Result?

Pierce manages to save his partner in the nick of time with a boot to MARV’s skull. Unfortunately this draws the ire of MEL, who begins terrorizing Pierce with furious right hands. Pierce covers up as best he can and begs MEL to cease his unending torrent of blows.

COACH
I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say “Krista would never beg somebody to stop punching her, she’d just insult their mother and kick them in the face” And I’m saying that Piercey D ain’t Krista!

BRANNIGAN
That much is obvious.

MEL takes hold of Pierce’s wrist and whips him into the ropes.  The skater bounces off the cables himself, and when he returns to Pierce he nails him with a spear!

COACH
That’s J.Riggs’ move!

Deeply angered that his moveset has been infringed upon, Riggs gets into MEL’s face, bemoaning his usage of the spear. But his words come to an abrupt end, as MARV leaps onto his shoulders and brings him down for a victory roll! Buzzlefoxer counts the ensuing pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Riggs finds his way out the hold.  After clamoring to his feet he makes a mad dash for MEL! The Edmonton native isn’t prepared for him, and as such Riggs’ lariat launches him over the top rope! As soon as MEL’s body hits the floor, Riggs is sliding out the ring to inflict more damage. But that’s a goal that’s unable to be fulfilled as MEL is on his feet and sending  right crosses across Riggs’ face!

COACH
This is going to piss Anglesault off, and he’s gonna come out and start destroying things, and I’m gonna use you as my human shield, Tony. I gotta protect my ESPN good looks.

Meanwhile back in the ring, Pierce is leaping off the top rope with a cross body block aimed at MARV. The former tag team champion catches onto the brash rookie and twists him to the canvas with a powerslam!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The fans cheers grow even louder as MARV points to the top turnbuckle, signifying the end of the match. As his sister and the fans root him on, MARV makes a graceful leap onto the turnbuckle.

BRANNIGAN
Marvellosity coming up!

COACH
Get up, Piercey D! Get up!

Pierce, in a cowardly effort to save himself, latches onto Buzzlefoxer’s legs and pulls the elderly referee in front of him. The audience jeers and hollers as Pierce clamps down on Buzzlefoxer’s legs. The old man tries his best to break himself free of Pierce’s iron tight grip. While this is going on a woman carrying an expensive Gucci handbag has snuck onto the ring apron. Unbeknownst to everyone who’s attention is focused on cowardly Pierce, the woman climbs up behind MARV and wacks him in the head with her purse!  MARV’s face goes blank, and he gracelessly tumbles off the ropes, landing in mangled heap on the canvas.

BRANNIGAN
That woman just nailed MARV with her purse! Who is she?

Pierce suddenly regains his fighting spirit, and ushers Clem out the way. He eagerly scampers atop MARV for the pinfall….

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!

DING DING DING

The young woman on the outside jumps for joy, and earnestly applauds Pierce’s achivement. The man himself features a sly smile as if to say this match was little more than  a walk in the park.

BUFFER
Your winners and advancing to the second of the Anderson Cup….PIERCE DUNCAN AND JAMES RIGGS!

Pierce finds his way into the waiting arms of the mystery woman, who is all smiles over this stolen victory.  Riggs makes his way over to the duo, and happily pats his partner on the back. His calm and casual demeanor betrays the fact that they barely won, and had to cheat to do so.

BRANNIGAN
I don’t believe this. Aside from a forty second period Riggs and Pierce got their lunch handed to them by The Christ Air Express. MARV and MEL wrestled circles around them the entire match, and yet these two goofballs are advancing?

COACH
Pierce is The Result, and he gets results. You may not like how he got ‘em, but he got ‘em.

BRANNIGAN
I feel sick.

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the feud of the year award…SLIME

Slime crawls, literally, crawls onto stage.

SLIME
Beezzzzeee! Whooooooopop! Ditoly! Snooob! Arogh! Webble pooble! Vuught! Moo! Moo! Moo! Zibble zibble? Zibble mobale! Zoooooooooooooooook!

Slime pauses which the producers take as the cue to roll the nominees.

~~~FEUD OF THE YEAR~~~
MAYA VS HOLLY
KRISTA VS MISTER DICK
BARON WINDELS VS MISTER DICK
LANDON MADDIX VS NATHANIEL BLACK
~~~FEUD OF THE YEAR~~~

SLIME
Mikkle wikkle….BARON WINDELS VS MISTER DICK!

BW appears onstage solo.

BARON
I reckon Mr. Dick hasn’t gotten over that ass-kicking I gave him last year. *laughs* But I’m mighty proud to accept this award. I never wanted things to go as far as they did, but sometimes a man’s gonna do what a man’s gotta do. Hopefully this ain’t the only gold I win this year. Thank ya!

Backstage we find…


GIRL WHO AIDED RIGGS AND PIERCE milling about, sending text messages. Her moment of solitude is broken by an angry


KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN

KRISTA
You!

GIRL
Yeah, Krista, hey. What’s up?

KRISTA
Amberlyn, I am so pissed that you’re actually here, I could drive a pitchfork through the torso of the next skinny, masked, Englishman I see.

J-MAX
Uh, I better get out of here.

AMBERLYN
I don’t see what the big deal is.

KRISTA
What are you doing here?

AMBERLYN
I’m here for fun!

KRISTA
No one comes here for fun. They either come here because they’re on work release from prison, they’re drug mules coming to transfer cocaine from the Mexican border, or they simply wish to be part of the show that has driven more American’s to suicide than any other in the history of television.

AMBERLYN
I’m just following in your footsteps, big sister. Dad got on one of his kicks about me needing to do more than just hit the clubs all night and sleep till two pm. He says I’ve got to do something for the community.

KRISTA
Working here is like doing something for a community of neo nazis.

AMBERLYN
I’m like I do enough for the community already.  When I hit Bebe and spend a thousand dollars on clothes, I’m doing my part to pump dollars into the economy, and keep those sales girls employed. If it weren’t for me, they could be working at McDonalds, be forty pounds overweight, and be dating a Mexican.

KRISTA
I’m dating a Mexican!

AMBERLYN
Yeah, mom’s already had her weekly crying fit over that. Now whenever I go to a fashion show, just by being there I’m pumping up the models’ self esteem and giving them the love and appreciation their father’s never gave them. And what about when I get to a club? I’m helping them stay in business, because everyone knows when I go to a club, it’s the spot to be at!

KRISTA
Yeah, if you want to have a crazy Jewish girl ash a cigarette in your eyes.

AMBERLYN
That was just one time. Besides she’s got another eye, she can still see. So Dad said  he’s sick of reading reports about me getting into fights at clubs, knocking out bitches, cursing out police officers, or passing out on the streets, or flashing bouncers.

KRISTA
I suppose that’s better than flashing a group of horny old men at Uncle Phil’s retirement party. If you don’t want me to strip, don’t ask me to pop out a cake.

AMBERLYN
So he says its time for me to get a job. As if keeping up with what celeb is hanging out where, who’s boyfriend is open to be stolen, what bouncer you need to suck up to, and what DJ is playing where isn’t enough of a job. I guess I could’ve gotten one of those jobs as a doctor or lawyer something.

KRISTA
Who needs medical school or law school? Your one semester of community college that included such challenging classes as basket weaving and bead necklace making is plenty to perform open heart surgery, and understand real estate law.

AMBERLYN
You say its easy to work here, and I’m looking for easy work. Pierce talked to that Anglesault guy, and he hired me on the spot. Didn’t even have to sleep with him.

KRISTA
Todd Cortez envies you.

AMBERLYN
Also, I get to be on TV, which means I get to be famous, which means I get into all the best clubs without having to wait in line with every other loser.

KRISTA
You do realize that by being Pierce’s valet, you’re allied with Anglesault, who’s responsible for me no longer being empress of feudal China, wait no that’s not his fault, he’s responsible for me not being OAOAST World Champion. Yeah, that’s it.

AMBERLYN
That’s tough, big sister.  But, hey, not my problem.

KRISTA
I honestly don’t think you should work here. I have enough trouble watching out for Maya, and Jade, I can’t watch out for you to.

AMBERLYN
That’s not it. You’re afraid I’m going to show you up.

Having noticed their club hopping party girl Aunt Amberlyn….


JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN

and


MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARDA (such an adorable picture!)

walk up to share their two cents on Amberlyn’s sudden arrival into the OAOAST.

MAYA
Mom is right Aunt Amber.

AMBERLYN
Oh great, now the baby has come to give me a lecture.

MAYA
I’m not going to lecture you, Aunt Amber. But, I’ve got to warn you, you’re dealing with some hella nasty dudes. One dude tried to carve up this guy named Zack, he’s so hot, forehead with a fork. And not a harmless plastic one either, that’d be funny. But a real metal one! And not a salad fork either! A real sharp one! That’s gross, I threw up at the thought of even dissecting a cow’s eyeball in 10th grade. Like, I literally threw up right on the teacher’s desk, and when the janitor came to clean it up, it was discovered the teacher had hardcore porn in his desk drawer, and he was suspended for two weeks. Crazy stuff.

KRISTA
Thank you for that, Maya, you really made my point in the straight forward non tangential way we Duncan’s are known for.

MAYA
No prob!

KRISTA
Listen, I don’t care if you steal my shine, which you obviously couldn’t. Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves couldn’t steal my shine.

AMBERLYN
Puh-leeze, big sister. I’ve got twice the ass, and I’ve got the better rack. What more do I need?

KRISTA
Untrue, untrue. Jade, remember the time I did jumping jacks and had you measure the buoyancy and bounce of my breasts?

JADE
Unfortunately.

KRISTA
And we discovered that the actual time for these jiggling jumbos to do a full bounce was nearly eons. And remember how I had you slow down the tape so you could get up close and really measure the exact the height of each bounce?

JADE
I still have nightmares about that.

KRISTA
And didn’t we determine we’d have set a Gneiss Book of World Records in breast bouncing, if that book wasn’t so lame as to exclude the fine art of breast bouncing as a perfectly legitimate category.  Look, Amnber I don’t care how small your breasts are or how flat your butt is or any about any of that. Its one thing if Pierce gets hurt, because he’s a shitlicking lowlife who’s very existence disgraces both the Duncan gene pool as well as the overall gene pool of all homosapiens. But you are a different story. You’re the sibling who’s name doesn’t provoke intense bouts of rage filled screaming and wall banging in my therapy session. I don’t want anything to happen to you.

AMBERLYN
Thankfully, I’ve got Anglesault’s boys to look after me.

With that Jason Silver walks over to the group and puts his arm around Amberlyn.

JASON
Don't worry, Krista, I'll take good care of. Just like I'm going to take good care of your world title.

Krista lunges for Silver but is held back by her daughters, who don't wish to see their mother fight.

SILVER
hehhehehhhhee!

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the Angle Award for MOST SHOCKING MOMENT is ZACK MALIBU!

TONY
You know, it's obvious that the format is out the window tonight. Zack's already been in a hellacious brawl, and now he's got to present an award!

COACH
You know how we do in the OAOAST, Tony B. We're troopers!

Zack, now bandaged from before, comes out onto the stage and is welcomed by a warm response from the crowd.

TONY
We're about to find out what has won the Most Shocking Moment of 2010, but my pick for next year would have to be the retun of Bruce Blank at the New Year's Spectacular last week!

COACH
Don't step on the toes of twenty ten, T-Bod! Let's get through this night first!

The crowd boos as Zack makes the announcement, and he turns and looks at the entranceway once "Medal" kicks in. Anglesault walks slowly and smiles smugly as he comes out, but as Zack goes after him, VICE, James Riggs, and Pierce Duncan all attack!

TONY
So much for a speech!

Zack throws hands, but for every shot he lands, he's nailed with multiple shots from all directions, as the four men pounce on him under the direction of Anglesault! Already weakened from his brawl with Bo, Zack easily succumbs, as he's beaten on and stomped on on the stage! Anglesault walks over to the podium and picks up his Angle Award, as well as the microphone.

ANGLESAULT
I suppose it's just bad luck on your part that you had to present this tonight, Zack. It made getting to you so much easier. Because while I accept this award, I think I'd like to create a new moment right here tonight. I think tonight, the Most Memorable Moment In OAOAST History will take place, because the time for talking is over. The threats are not idle. Tonight, I will END Zack Malibu! Get him to the ring!

Pierce, Riggs, and VICE pull Zack up, each taking an arm or leg, and drag Zack down to the ring. They throw him in and start stomping on him, while Anglesault makes a slow entrance, walking up the steps.

ANGLESAULT
You may have spilled Cortez's blood the other night. You might have busted Bo open earlier, but do you really consider those victories, Zack? Those men don't care about spilling their blood. You said that it's your blood, sweat and tears that created the OAOAST? Well, your version of the OAOAST is about to drown in your blood, because tonight, I am going to effectively kill off Zack Malibu, his legacy, his vision of this company, and everything he's worked for! I told you I refused to drag this out. I told you I refused to engage in witty banter and bickering. This is WAR, Zack, and you are about to be our ultimate casulty. Get him up!

VICE pull Zack up, each taking an arm, as Anglesault gets in real close, looking into Maliub's half opened eyes.

ANGLESAULT
You're about to make history, Malibu. You're the center of attention, just like you always wanted! I hope you enjoy this as much as I'm going to.

Anglesault backs off, then gets a chair from James Riggs. Anglesault presses the edge of it into Zack's throat, mouthing threats that can barely be made out. Anglesault cocks the chair back, but hesitates, much to the surprise of the fans. He lowers the chair and turns around...and that's when JASON SILVER slides into the ring and runs at Malibu, knocking him down with a BELTSHOT~! The stomping continues, with Silver joining in, as Angleault motions to the back...and now BOHEMOTH comes down the aisleway!

TONY
Look at this! Like a master strategist, Anglesault kept some of his cohorts on reserve, and now they're all taking it to Zack Malibu!

COACH
We know Cortez ain't here tonight, but that don't seem to matter much!

TONY
This is insanity!

Bo clears everyone out, getting a mount on Zack and tearing the bandage off, then opening the cut back up with his fists. Once again bloodied, Zack lay on the mat, until he's forcefully led to his feet.

ANGLESAULT
I'VE GOT THE WHOLE LOCKER ROOM ON LOCKDOWN, ZACK! YOU THINK I HIRED A PRIVATE SECURITY FIRM JUST FOR SHOW? NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW! NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU FROM GETTING WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!

Anglesault angrily turns away, leaving Zack to be pushed into an oncoming Bohemoth lariat! Zack finds himself back on the mat, and everyone circles him, with Anglesault oncne again picking up the steel chair...

...AND THAT'S WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

TONY
Now what!?

COACH
I can't say what, but does anything good ever happen when the lights go out in an arena?

Camera flashes go off, and the illumination shows the crowded ring...but it's not until the lights go back on that the fans roar with approval of what they see before them.

Bruce Blank, trusty barbed wire bat in hand...IS IN THE RING! Swinging for the fences, he hits the chair out of Anglesault's hand, then stalks the company founder! Bo comes charging from behind, but he catches a shot to the ribs, while Riggs runs right into a big boot!

TONY
Bruce Blank is cleaning house!

Swinging the bat without fear of consequence, Bruce clears the ring, as Anglesault orders everyone to back off. Bo rolls to the floor holding his ribs, while Piercy D. helps his partner out of the ring, leaving Zack Malibu's arch nemesis to tend to the fallen prep.

COACH
I still don't get this.

TONY
Neither do I, Coach, but what can you say? Bruce Blank has saved Zack Malibu!

Bruce looks down at Zack, then turns and looks up the ramp at the group of men scowling in his direction, Anglesault being the most irate. Blank tips his hat to them in mocking fashion, then reaches down and extends a hand to a groggy Zack Malibu, pulling him up to his feet. Zack stumbles back, breaking his fall by backing into the corner, and it takes him a moment to realize who the figure is before him.

TONY
Zack seems as surprised as we do!

Zack and Blank have a staredown, and it's Bruce who makes the first move, putting his bat down and extending a hand to Zack. Malibu, still catching his breath, doesn't seem to know how to react, but Blank stands his ground and keeps the hand extended. Zack moves gingerly towards his old rival, looking at his hand and then up into the eyes of the hardcore superstar...and in a sight that no one thought they'd ever see, Zack Malibu and Bruce Blank shake hands in the center of an OAOAST ring!

TONY
I...I don't believe it.

COACH
Four years ago Bruce tried to KILL Zack! He went after his family! Now they're shaking hands!?

The crowd roars as Zack's theme song is cued up. Anglesault and company don't seem to know what to make of it, as they all reel from the night's events. Zack walks towards the ropes, with Blank standing behind him as backup, and the two superstars stare back at Anglesault's contingent.

TONY
First the Orange County Cobras, then Denzel Spencer, D*LUX, and Krista. Now, it looks like BRUCE BLANK has joined the ranks of the resistance!

THE VOICE
Here to present the award for female performer of the year….HOLLY AND NATALIE PORTMAN!

NATALIE
So, Holly, another year another Angle Awards.

HOLLY
(beep) this.

NATALIE
That’s not your scripted response.

HOLLY
(beep) the script and (beep) the script writers, they can eat my (beep). No wait, they can’t because they’re a bunch of faggot (beep)suckers!

NATALIE
Jesus, do you kiss your husband with that mouth.

HOLLY
I don’t kiss my husband period, bitch. I slam him against the (beep) wall, rip off his pants and suck his (beep) till the skin comes off.

NATALIE
The script called for some witty banter about the Navy Captain who made that lewd video.

HOLLY
(beep) him. I make a (beep) video like that every month. And my masturbating sure as shit ain’t simulated.

NATALIE
I knew I should’ve come out with the kid who speaks in gibberish. Rolls the nominees please.

~~~FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR~~~
HOLLY
MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD
JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN
ALIX MARIA SPEZIA
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN
MAGGIE NERDLY
~~~FEMALE PERFORMER OF THE YEAR~~~

NATALIE
And the winner is…..MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD!

HOLLY
(beep) all you mother(beep) shit heads! I’ll stab you all in the (beep) (beep)!

Holly rushes off the stage, barely able to stop herself from destroying the set. Maya makes her way onto the stage as soon as Holly leaves and gives a hug to Miss Portman.

MAYA
Yes! My second Angle Award! I’m just 99 away from tying mom’s record. I hope mom doesn’t get mad I beat her out. I got Mario Kart for the Wii for Hanukah and she humored me and played with me for a few races.  And I whipped her. Then I got bored and wanted to go watch the Vampire Diaries DVD Jade gave me. But mom was all like “Hell naw, we gonna finish this shit!” And so we raced again. And I beat her. Again. So I thought I could leave. But then she grabbed my shoulder and was all like “Sit your Jewish ass down, we ain’t done here” and so we raced again and I beat her again. And we spent like two more hours racing, and I kept beating her until she slammed down the steering wheel and stormed out the house. When the cops bought her back Jade said she’d smelled like wine and strip clubs. And I asked Jade “how do you know what a strip club smells like” And apparently both of them getting lap dances at the same time is mom’s idea of bonding with Jade. But, back to the award. Its great to win another one of these things. But it was a bit of a sore spot to not be able to pin Queen Esther at New Years Spectacular. As far as I’m concerned nothing’s settle between us. And if I have to go to Sophie to get to Esther, that’s just what I’ll do!

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the pay per view match for the year award and Free TV match of the year award….MOLLY NERDLY AND KEVIN BACON.

Molly walks arm and arm with Kevin Bacon onto the stage.

MOLLY
Kevin, do you remember last year when I asked you play six degrees of Kevin Bacon?

KEVIN
Yes I do.

MOLLY
And you said no. That was highly disappointing to me. Therefore we’re going to play the Nerdly version.

KEVIN
Please no.

MOLLY
It will be ever so much fun.

KEVIN
I strongly doubt that! Tell you what, there’s an extra twenty dollars to your pocket book if you forget all about the game.

MOLLY
You have yourself a deal, Mister Bacon. The winner of Free TV match of the year is…..THE TEN MAN TAG from the August 26th HeldDOWN~!

Colonel Abdullah rushes onstage and swipes the award from Alix.

ALIX
Hey!

ABDULLAH
(shouting)
Mine! All mine! They never paid the 10%!

KRISTA
Eh, let the little crazy man have it.  We’ll just go win it again.

DR. STEVEN
You say that like it’s easy.

KRISTA
You guys still work here?

DR. MAX
My pride. It hurts.

Alix gives Dr. Max a big hug.

BARON
(staring at Max’s crotch)
Goddamn, son, I think you’re goin’ into rigor mortis.

Dr. Max covers up in embarrassment as the others have a laugh at his expense.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the award for face of the year…BOHEMOTH!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses as the well dressed big man walks onto the stage.

BOHEMOTH
I used to care about winning this award. I used to be disappointed each time I lost. But now? Now, I’m glad I’m no longer eligible. Because I see the truth about all you people, who you support, and what you care about. And I know you don’t like me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Show me the nominations

~~~FACE OF THE YEAR~~~
BARON WINDELS
ALIX MARIA SPEZIA
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN
DENZEL SPENCER
NATE BLACK
~~~FACE OF THE YEAR~~~

BOHEMOTH
The winner is….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!

Bo smirks to himself as we watches Krista make her way onto the stage once again. Krista does her best to ignore him while she graciously receives her angle award. Her best isn’t good enough as she hears him make a lewd remark under his breath. This is all the motivation Krista needs to nail him under the jaw with her award!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Bo stumbles backwards, but is soon ready to pounce on Krista. But before he can do that a flood of security guards races onto the stage to separate the two

[Tony149]

THE VOICE
Here to present the superstar of the year award…BIFFMAN and RYAN REYNOLDS!

BIFFMAN
From one superhero to another, it’s a pleasure to be out here with you.

RYAN
I’m not actually a superhero.

BIFFMAN
Hogwash! You are the Green Lantern. You were blessed with the ring given to you by the Guardians Of The Universe. They’ve entrusted you to protect this galaxy with their mythical powers, just as I have been entrusted to protect this country with my mythical powers.

RYAN
Did you eat a stale burrito or something?

BIFFMAN
I don’t know how I came to receive my powers. I just know that I have them and I must use them for the forces of good. Many of the nominees for superstar of the year are on the side of good, and many are on the side of bad.

RYAN
You really think you have superpowers? Like for real?

BIFFMAN
Yes, Ryan, yes I do. And even though these superstars may not have the power I have, they are superpowered in their own special ways.

RYAN
Oh I get. You have metaphoric superpowers. Like it represents your strong soul and mind. For a second, man, I was about to punch you in the face because you were driving me crazy.  Let’s see the nominees….

~~~SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR~~~
BARON WINDELS
ALIX MARIA SPEZIA
MISTER DICK
KRISTA ISDORA DUNCAN
REJECT
~~~SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR~~~

BIFFMAN
And the winner is….MISTER DICK!

Mr. Dick wanders onstage, a look of on his face.

MR. DICK
Golly! Seriously? I didn’t expect this at all.
(arrogantly)
Of course I did. Just look at the other nominees. I’ve either pounded their ass or would pound their ass if they ever stepped foot inside the ring with me. I’m faster, stronger and BIGGER than all of them combined. Hell, ya might as well hand me next year’s Angle right now, because in 3 weeks I’m gonna win the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza and then the World Heavyweight Title for a third-time at AngleMania. Gag on that!

Celebratory fireworks explode through the night as we...

FADE OUT