Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- The scene is a crowded Times Square bustling with activity, full of bright lights, and trademark massive video screens and lighted billboards. Suddenly an image of Bohemoth flexing his powerful muscles appears on one screen. Then an image of Zack Malibu delivering a School’s Out to an opponent appears on another. Alix Maria Spezia is seen dancing with her world title on another screen. A billboard features Morgan Nerdly, electricity surrounding her entire body. Another image on a billboard is of Queen Esther’s smiling face. As we cruise down Times Square we see video screens displaying Leon’s Rodez battered body, The OC Cobras brawling with VICE, James Riggs spearing Denzel Spencer, and Maya being crowned Queen of The Ring. We finally come to the center of Times Square where the giant New Years Eve ball drops! OAOAST NEW YEARS SPECTACULAR 2011 After some New Year's fireworks we go to Sofa Central where Coach and Brannigan wear New Year’s party hats! BRANNIGAN Hello world! Welcome to the very first OAOAST show of 2011, the New Years Spectacular! We wish you a happy New Year’s and hopefully you’re not too hungover or possibly in jail after drunkenly hitting on a minor to enjoy this show. COACH Because this show is going to be hot!THE MAINEVENT OAOAST WORLD TITLEALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN We go backstage to find Terry Taylor with microphone in hand TERRY Hello, guys, happy New Year. Tonight’s mainevent promises to be an interesting one. I’ve talked with both Alix and Krista, and they’re taking two very different approaches to this match. Alix is going to treat this like an honest to god title defense, and is going to fight Krista the way she’d fight anyone. She says he has a lot to prove and she’s going to succeed in proving it tonight. Krista, after she got past the initial shock of me being in the shower with her, told me she’s going to do her best to avoid hurting Alix. How she’ll win the match without causing physical harm to Alix is anyone’s guess, but this is her aim. BRANNIGAN And what about Todd Cortez against Zack Malibu? TERRY The orders are clear from Anglesault, destroy Zack Malibu. The founder of this company not only does not want Zack to win, he doesn’t even want him to be able to leave the ring under his power. For his part, Zack is up to the challenge. He’s looking forward to this match, and he says a victory would go a long way to settling the score with Anglesault. BRANNIGAN Thanks for that, Terry. Tonight we start things off with the opening match in the 2010 Anderson Cup, a match between former allies no turned enemies in VICE and The Orange County Cobras. The Cobras have to be strong favorites to win the tournament, but VICE has their orders from Anglesault to take them out. Dennispymn 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “In the Air Tonight” by Non-point hits and V.I.C.E. march to the ring. BUFFER The following Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Miami, Florida, weighing 565 pounds... the OAOAST's resident V.I.C.E squad... DETECTIVE TTTAAAANNGGOOOO BBOOOSSSSSLLLEEEEEYYY and CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as C... P... A!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Totally unaware of a thing called sexual harassment, CPA blows a puff of smoke from his cigar in the ring girl’s chest. COACH BRANNIGAN Oh c’mon. That's uncalled for. “Slither” by Velvet Revolver plays but nobody emerges through the giant snake’s head. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY… from Orange County, California, total combine weight 460 pounds... SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH It looks to me like the Orange County Cobras got cold feet, Tony B. BRANNIGAN Or V.I.C.E. already got to them. COACH Why do you always assume the worse? BRANNIGAN Because it’s no secret what their mission objective is: to eliminate the O.C. Cobras by any means necessary. Tired of playing the waiting game, Bosley orders the ref to start counting Simon and Ned out. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… Suddenly the crowd begins to buzz. FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… CPA puffs on his cigar as Bosley counts along with the official, neither of whom notice THE O.C. COBRAS emerge through the OAOAST Galaxy. BOSLEY & CPA CPA spits out his cigar after he sees Bosley go flying outside courtesy of a dropkick by Simon Singleton. He then gets spun around and drilled by a double back elbow. * DINGDINGDING * COACH It was a setup! CPA receives a double whammy in the form of a pointy~! elbow/big splash combo. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CPA reverses a whip but Simon ducks a clothesline and DIVES THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE ONTO BOSLEY OUTSIDE!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Simon’s moment of glory is short-lived as CPA yanks him to the apron by the hair… but he answers with a jawbreaker and then a springboard spinning wheel kick! BRANNIGAN Pow! Right in the kisser! CPA rolls out of the ring to prevent the cover. Meanwhile, Bosley frantically calls for time. COACH Good thinking B. Let’s restart the match in 30 minutes. BRANNIGAN Are you kidding me?!? COACH I figured you’d like that better than my other suggestion-- disqualify the Orange County Cobras. BRANNIGAN Both of your suggestions suck! COACH You don’t have to be so blunt about it. BRANNIGAN Fact is, Simon and Ned gave V.I.C.E. a taste of their own medicine. Bosley resumes the match for his team and calls out Simon. SIMON Me? You want some of me? BOSLEY BRING IT ON!!! Both men lockup and Simon receives a knee to the gut. Simon’s backed into the corner for a series of martial arts blows-- backhand judo chops, underhand thrusts, etc. -- but he manages to reverse a whip. Bosley springboards off the middle rope… AND RIGHT INTO A STANDING DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Ned receives the tag and sinks his fangs into Bosley. After a big-time clothesline Ned rams Bosley into the buckle, then proceeds to stomp a mud hole and walk it dry. Bosley retaliates with a thumb to the eye and a front flip swinging neck breaker! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! V.I.C.E. tag after Bosley introduces Ned to the boot of CPA, who executes a rough high angle waist lock takedown. COACH Not since the night Maya was conceived has Ned been manhandled like that. *laughs* BRANNIGAN And you can bet he isn’t getting any kind of gratification here. CPA puts the boots to Ned and then whips him in for a running/flying shoulder block. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CPA attempts a suplex but Ned floats over and delivers a back suplex. Ned tag outs and Simon connects with a springboard clothesline! The cover. NO! Simon breaks the cover to dropkick Bosley off the apron. BRANNIGAN Bosley got caught trying to sneak in the back door. CPA clubs Simon from behind and signals for THE GIGATON PUNCH. COACH If CPA hits this it’s over, T. Simon’s whipped in but he ducks the punch. Unfortunately he charges straight towards the wrong side of the ring and tumbles outside after Bosley pulls the ropes down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley does a number on Simon as Ned is restrained by the referee. Simon is rolled back in and nailed with a big elbow. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY NED! V.I.C.E. tag and Bosley forces Simon into SERVING HARD TIME via the Boss Man slam. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Again Ned makes the save. Bosley dumps Simon outside and gets into a war of words with Ned. Meanwhile, CPA looks to POWER BOMB SIMON ON THE FLOOR. BRANNIGAN Oh no! COACH Oh yes! Fortunately Simon counters with a face buster! COACH Oh no! BRANNIGAN Oh yes! Bosley hears an unexpected roar from the OAOAST Galaxy and turns around… right into a slingshot cross body! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simon makes a play towards his corner but Bosley is quick to deliver a bulldog. COACH ALPHADog! BRANNIGAN A move popularized by OAOAST President Alfdogg. COACH Are you looking for a raise? Like you don’t already have enough money. BRANNIGAN There’s no such thing as having too much money. Bosley decks Ned, then drags Simon to the corner where he and CPA pummel him as the ref is once again forced to restrain the Handsome Hustler. BRANNIGAN Ned’s letting his emotions get the better of him. COACH And his partner’s paying for it. CPA tags in and power slams Simon. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CPA uses Simon as a human punching bag in the corner before whipping him in for a FRONT SPINEBUSTER… which Simon counters into a DDT! COACH DAYUM~! Ned cheers Simon on along with the rest of the OAOAST Galaxy. Meanwhile, CPA shakes off the cobwebs and tags Bosley. Knowing this may be the only opening he gets, Simon lunges forward and tags Ned! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BOSLEY Ned unloads on Bosley and then whips him in for a BAAAAAACK body drop. Bosley begs off in the cover but Ned moves in and hammers away from the middle rope. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Ned throws Bosley down and launches Simon off the top. * SPLASH * BRANNIGAN The Atomic Blond! Ned makes the cover as Simon rolls out of the ring. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! CPA drops a big elbow to breakup the pin. BRANNIGAN Simon and Ned were a half-a-count away from advancing to the semifinals. COACH Now it’s gonna be V.I.C.E. who move on, Tony B. They’re gonna snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. As the O.C. Cobras battle CPA, Bosley pulls out a TELESCOPIC BATON from inside his sock. COACH Oh! Look at what some fan threw in the ring. BRANNIGAN Give me a break. It’s that damn baton again. The very one used on the O.C. Cobras last week on HeldDOWN~! Bosley prepares to nail Ned when MOLLY sneaks in and delivers a LOW BLOW. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH I forgot that demon spawn was ringside. BRANNIGAN You know what they say about paybacks, Coach. COACH They’re a bitch like Molly. What a dirty thing to do to standup guy like Tango Bosley. Ned grabs the baton and wallops the AMOG! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, advancing to the semifinals… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD… THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! Molly jumps in the ring and raises the hands of Simon and Ned in victory. COACH I can’ believe they’re gonna take the win like that. BRANNIGAN Hey, you live by the baton, you die by the baton. To think we still have our big main event to come! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST WORLD TITLEALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS KRISTA ISADORA DUNCANCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break to a section of the backstage area that Melody Nerdly has converted into her game room. There stands a massive Samsung TV with an Xbox360 hooked into it. Standing in front of it isMELODY NERDLY MELODY Hi, everybody! Now you say, Hi Doctor Nick! But I’m not Doctor Nick, I’m Melody Nerdly, and I am here with your No Homo update. The game is progressing along very nicely, so ignore that bitter three paragraph rant I posted on Facebook about Alexander The Brutal’s belly to belly suplex not properly replicating the way he hooks his hands on real life. Also ignore the Youtbe video I posted where I posted video evidence that the number of laces on Tim Cash’s boots does not accurately represent the number of laces on his boots in real life. No Homo is a great game! And I’m not just saying that because the developers told me if I didn’t say that, they’d take away my preview copy. I’m saying it because its true! Its better than Super Mario Bro 3 which I just broke out on my NES emulator. While we’re on the subject of Mario, I want to talk about the worst character in Mario Bros history: Toad! Melody clinches her fist in rage. MELODY First of all he has a million cousins that don’t help for nothing when the trouble starts. Second of all he keeps getting caught by Bowser, who’s so slooooowww, and Mario keeps saving him by mistake when he’s just trying to rescue Peach! Third of all, and this my biggest gripe, in Super Mario Bros 3 when you get to his house to chill, he’s like “yo Mario, hows it going?” and Mario “Says I’m tired as heck, I could really use a power up right now.” Then this weirdo Toad brings out three treasure chests and is like “well I got some good stuff in one of these but I’m not gonna tell you which one and you can only take one.” He knows good and well there’s a magic whistle in the third one, but he’s going to let Mario roll out with a simple little mushroom? Peach is writing letters with P Wings in them WHILE IN JAIL, toad doesn’t even offer you a drink when you’re thirsty. He’s an asshole. MOLLY (behind the camera) Oh for the love of god, you’ve wasted the entire segment talking about Toad! MELODY LOL my fault. Show them some screenshots.ALEXANDER THE BRUTALLEON RODEZALEXNADER VS LEON Suddenly Pierce Duncan and James Riggs walk into the room with arrogant swagger. PIERCE Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Two hot broads, an Xbox 360, The Result, we got the makings of a bad ass party, and even better threesome. RIGGS I’m here to. PIERCE You can hold the black haired chick’s camera. MOLLY My name is Molly. PIERCE Molly, you’re a solid eight, and I don’t sink lower than a nine. But, my new year’s resolution was to give to charity, and I’m gonna give a boning of a life time to the foundation for the betterment of sexually repressed artsy broads’ sex life. If you’re lucky it’s a gift that might come twice. Hehehehhe. MOLLY No thank you. MELODY The party was yesterday. I had a killer LAN party at a hotel, 20 people showed up, and we all played Black Ops. PIERCE LAN? That some sort of new cocaine on the market? The Result doesn’t put anything up his nose, except the sweet smell of your perfume as I lean in give you the kiss you’ve been dreaming all your life over. MELODY Yeah right! LMAO! PIERCE Save it, baby. I’m only about one acronym, BBB. Bitches, Beaches, Beer. As for a LAN, its Licking Ass Now, because The Result ain’t ashamed to get down like that. What about you J.Riggs? RIGGS I lick the kitty, not the shitty. PIERCE Sometimes the tongue needs a new and fresh flavor. How was my new year’s eve? I’m glad you broads asked. MOLLY No one asked that. PIERCE My new years eve was on fire. We are at Pure in Vegas with our boy Bosley. Walk into the club, heads turn, eyes light up, and guys start grabbing their chicks real close because they don’t know if The Result is gonna swoop in flash that eight pack and make a play on em right then and there. Evening goes on, I mix a bit on the turntables, show em how Piercey D gets down on the ones and twos. Over the beat I hear the sound of every girl in the venue getting wet, because they see how I handle the turntables, and they’re thinking how I can handle them in bed. Night continues, I’m talking to this Italian broad, she told her man to get a cab and go to the nearest bridge and jump off it so she could spend the night with Piercey D. But then this bullet comes in. A bullet is a chick that zeroes in on you and just zooms at you full speed. Unfortunately this bullet was more like a cannon ball,. I’m sayin’ this broad was at least two fifty, she could’ve been a linebacker for the Charges for all I know. She’s coming at The Result full speed ahead, like a charging Superman after a night at Old Country Buffet. I look to my right I see too many people, I look too my left I see too many people, I’m trapped and facing a full on collision headed for my worst night since I drunkenly stumbled into an old folks mixer and wound up in an orgy with the Golden Girls. But then my boy, J.Riggs, like a secret service agent jumping in front of the president, takes the bullet! He intercepts this mastadon, and saves The Result. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night, but he was in my thoughts. RIGGS I didn’t see a thing for the rest of the night, I was covered in hot, sweaty, blubber. But, like they say in hockey you gotta take a hit to make a play. I took the hit so my boy Piercey D could make the play. PIERCE And make the play I did. Tonight, New Years Night, J.Riggs is gonna make a play on Denzel Spencer’s Heartland Title. Let’s hit the road, J.Riggs. You two broads, hit me up on my Blackberry Curve. Later! COMING UP NEXT HEARTLAND TITLEJAMES RIGGS VS DENZEL SPENCERCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 As the show returns from commercial, James Riggs is pounding Denzel Spencer, who had just entered the ring. BRANNIGAN We're back here at the New Year's Spectacular, with the Heartland title on the line! Denzel Spencer defending against James Riggs, who has gained an early advantage following a sneak attack! Riggs whips Denzel into the ropes, then puts his head down. Denzel capitalizes with a kick, then tries another, only for Riggs to catch his foot. Denzel flips over and does a forward somersault on the mat, dragging Riggs over with his leg! BRANNIGAN A nice reversal right there by Denzel Spencer! Riggs charges Denzel, who leapfrogs him, then executes a reverse monkey flip! Denzel then gets to his feet, and hits Riggs with a bodypress at the ropes, sending both men over the top rope to the floor! COACH Wow! BRANNIGAN Both men taking a tumble to the outside! Denzel gets to his feet first, and rolls back inside. He waits for Riggs to get to his feet, then springs himself over the ropes. Riggs sidesteps as Denzel adjusts and lands on his feet, only to be clotheslined down by Riggs! COACH Haha! BRANNIGAN Denzel may have outsmarted himself with that move! Riggs stomps away on Denzel, then picks him up and tosses him into the steel steps! BRANNIGAN And Denzel taking some big-time punishment now! Riggs lets Denzel come to his feet, then rolls him inside. He sets him up in a corner, and hammers him with European uppercuts. He sets him up on the ropes, and attempts an Irish whip. Denzel reverses, however, and hits him with a dropkick! BRANNIGAN Big dropkick! Denzel attempts a spinkick, which Riggs ducks, and catches him with a back suplex! COACH But a nice counter there! BRANNIGAN Riggs able to match the Heartland champion blow-for-blow thus far, and then some! Riggs executes a snap suplex, and covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Riggs then whips Denzel across, and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Riggs gets on top of Denzel, holding his hands down to the mat. 1... 2... Denzel bridges out of the cover. Riggs jumps into the air, as Denzel lifts his feet up. Riggs lands on Denzel's feet, then comes to his own feet, lifting Denzel up. Denzel gains his footing on the mat, then springs to the top rope, backflipping off and catching Riggs with a DDT on the way down! COACH BRANNIGAN Amazing move by Denzel Spencer! That could be it! Denzel drapes an arm over... 1... 2... NO! Riggs gets a shoulder up! COACH Now gives Riggs a little credit for escaping! BRANNIGAN No question about it, equally amazing that Riggs was able to get the shoulder up! Denzel gets to his feet, and runs to the ropes, then catches Riggs with a spinning wheel kick, sending him rolling to the outside! Denzel then waits for Riggs to get to his feet, then runs to the corner, and leaps to the second rope. However, Riggs quickly slides into the ring, then dropkicks Denzel to the floor as he jumps down to the apron! BRANNIGAN Tremendous fast-paced action in this one! Riggs catches a breather, then rolls to the outside and rolls Denzel back inside. He lifts him in a powerbomb, then lets him slide down his back and hooks his arms. BRANNIGAN And James Riggs with the old Gory Special, a submission hold! Could this be the move that gets him the Heartland title? The referee asks Denzel if he wants to give it up, and gets a negative response. Denzel eventually manages to work his feet free, then pushes off a turnbuckle, flipping back over, and executing a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! Riggs catches Denzel with a clothesline, then picks him up and drags him to a corner, setting him on the top rope, and pulling him down in a tree of woe. Riggs backs across the ring, then charges with a sliding dropkick...but Denzel lifts himself up, and Riggs slides crotch-first into the ringpost! BRANNIGAN/COACH Riggs rolls to the outside, where he's hit with a springboard moonsault to the outside from Denzel! BRANNIGAN And Denzel kicking it into high gear now! Denzel picks up Riggs and rolls him back inside, then attempts an Irish whip. Riggs reverses, then catches him in a tilt-a-whirl, but Denzel lands on his feet and executes a hurricanrana, hooking Riggs' legs... 1... 2... Kickout! Denzel whips Riggs into a corner, and attempts a handspring elbow, but Riggs escapes, hitting the ropes as Denzel bounces out, and taking him down with a SPEAR~! COACH Great move! BRANNIGAN Spear! This could be it! 1... 2... NO! Denzel gets a shoulder up! BRANNIGAN And Denzel JUST escaping that one! Riggs sizes up Denzel as he staggers off the mat. BRANNIGAN And now Riggs looking for the kill... Riggs attempts the ROLLING KOPPOU KICK~!!!!!11111, but Denzel sidesteps him, then backs into the ropes, and executes a scissor kick as Riggs starts to come to his feet! Denzel then picks up Riggs, scoops him up...and drops him with the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 BRANNIGAN Denzel with his move, the Carribean Compactor! That should do it! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BRANNIGAN And it does! Denzel retains his title! COACH BUFFERThe winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...DENNNNNNNZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! BRANNIGAN Great fight put up by the challenger, James Riggs, but Denzel able to withstand the onslaught, and he hangs on to his OAOAST Heartland title! Its been a poor start for Anglesault's crew with VICE going down to The Cobras, and Riggs failing to wrest away the Heartland Title from Denzel Spencer. We'll find out next if Bohemoth and Jason Silver can stop the losing tide and beat D*LUX, and we still have Todd Cortez and Zack Malibu inside a steel cage!THIS WEEK ON HeldDOWN~!THE LAUGHS THE TEARS THE FUN THE JOYTHE ANGLE AWARDS!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage, in the locker room of ZACK MALIBU, the OAOAST veteran sits alone, wrapping tape around his wrists, when he's suddenly jolted out of his quiet concentration by the sound of his name. "Zack." Knowing exactly whose voice it is, Zack looks up in surprise, as the camera pans back and shows Malibu's longtime girlfriend CANDIE. MALIBU What...what are you doing here? Where's Jenna? CANDIE She's with my parents, they drove down to watch her so I could come here. MALIBU I don't...why are you here? CANDIE Zack, listen. You don't have to do this. MALIBU I don't have to do this, or you don't want me to do this? CANDIE ...both, I guess. MALIBU You guess? Candie, we've talked about... Candie, normally polite and reserved, raises her voice for perhaps the first time in OAOAST history. CANDIE That's ALL we do is TALK, Zack! All we do is talk about it, and we keep talking about it because you won't stop! Your pride won't let you stop! MALIBU It's not an ego thing... CANDIE I know it's not. I know it's who you are. You're a strong man, Zack. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. These people love you. Your daughter loves you. I love you. I just want you to consider that, for once. Can't you just be happy with that? Malibu approaches, and embraces his girl. MALIBU I am happy with that. But these people have tried to ruin not just my life, but our lives. I can't let that slide. CANDIE They're psychotic, Zack. You're going to be inside of a cage with Cortez, and I don't know if I can watch. I'm...I'm scared. I don't want you to do this. MALIBU I can't give up. CANDIE Walking away and giving up aren't the same thing, Zack. MALIBU Maybe not...but I can't do either of them. Candie grabs Zack tightly, hugging him and not wanting to let go. Zack returns the favor, and the camera fades out on the OAOAST's favorite couple, fearful of what tonight's cage match will bring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Malibu approaches cautiously, seeing that Cortez is ready to pounce the moment the cage door locks behind him. Zack moves up the steps and into the ring...and immediately rushes Cortez nailing a series of punches to back him up against the ropes! Zack then takes Cortez by the head and runs him across the ring, hurling him face first into the cage wall, and gives him little time to recover as he pulls him up and takes him to the other side, throwing him into that wall as well! TONY Zack's already using the cage to his advantage, and I hope Cortez packed some Advil! COACH Already got jokes, Tony B.? Zack brings Cortez up to his feet, but Cortez grabs the waist and runs Zack into the corner, nailing some shoulderblocks and then comes up with a knee to the stomach to double him over. Cortez whips Zack across the ring into the other turnbuckles, and Zack collides so hard that he falls face first to the canvas! As Zack rises, Cortez hits a running kick to the side of his face, sending Zack spinning into the ropes! Cortez then straddles Zack over the middle rope and pulls it up into Zack's throat, choking the OAOAST Franchise! Bo makes his way over to that side of the cage and peers through the holes, smiling as he taunts Zack. Cortez snickers as well before pulling Zack up and ramming his head into the cage wall, then just watches as he falls backwards. Bo shouts some motivation to his partner in crime, and Cortez picks Zack up and nails him with two inverted atomic drops before shoving him backwards into the ropes, then catches him on the rebound with a third! COACH Good thing Zack's already got one kid, because after this match he might not be able to have another! Cortez brings Zack up, but Malibu fires off two punches, drawing a pop from the crowd as he battles against his foe, only to be cut off by another knee to the gut! Cortez then hammers Zack across the back with forearm shots, only to have his legs pulled out from under him by Zack! Malibu then gets the mount and starts hammering on Cortez until Todd manages to roll him off, and when they get to their feet, Todd grabs Zack by the throat, only to have Zack knock the arm away, then hook it and use a judo toss to take him to the mat! He immediately brings Cortez up and fires him off into the ropes, sending him airborne with a back bodydrop! Zack then hits the ropes and drills Cortez as he sits up with a running soccer kick to the chest, and looks at Bo, who grabs the cage wall and pretends to climb, only to have Malibu call him on his bluff! Malibu turns back to Cortez, not allowing Bo to act as a distraction, but when he pulls him up he catches a low blow for his troubles, and then finds himself run headfirst into the cage again! Malibu hangs over the top rope while Todd takes a moment to recover, and then he turns his focus back to Malibu, raking his face along the side of the cage! Zack's forehead starts to open up, and blood begins to flow down his face as Cortez fishooks his mouth, tearing at his cheeks as he pulls Malibu back into the ring. Zack struggles, and finally manages to reach back and nails a jawbreaker, dropping Todd chin first on the top of his head! Todd staggers back to the corner, and Malibu charges the prone Urban Legend, but winds up running into his boot, and then catches a second boot as Todd runs out of the corner with a vicious Yakuza kick! Bo applauds from ringside as Cortez stomps a mudhole in Zack, then wipes his hand across Zack's forehead, soaking it in his blood, before pulling Zack up and slapping him across the face! TONY He's sick, that's what he is! Todd Cortez has gotten sucked into the darkside, and he is loving every second of it! COACH Well you can thank Zack Malibu for having that psycho on the loose. It's all his fault, and Zack is paying the price for it now! Zack struggles with the blood loss, but Cortez exposes the wound for all it's worth, directing his punches towards it and opening the cut further! He shoves Zack into the corner and climbs up on the ropes, continuing to punch him down, until Zack manages to throw him off! Cortez lands on his feet and comes to the corner again, but Zack powers out, nailing right hand after right hand and looks to whip Cortez in, only to have it countered! Reacting quickly, Zack runs up the ropes and leaps back with a crossbody, catching Cortez off guard! ONE! T-KICKOUT! The "Urban Legend" has an easy time kicking out, but Malibu has regained the advantage, continuing to nail Cortez with stiff right hands when he gets back to his feet! Cortez returns fire with a thumb to the eye, and then he takes off his wifebeater, wrapping it around Zack's throat! The fans boo loudly, but that doesn't stop Cortez from commiting the heinous act, as Malibu's eyes start to widen the more breath he loses! TONY I know it's fair game inside the walls of the cage, but that doesn't stop the fact that Todd Cortez doesn't care about winning. He is brutalizing Zack Malibu in any way he can! Malibu struggles, and finally manages to drive a series of elbows into Todd's stomach to break the choke, but Todd responds by yanking Zack's head back and throwing him to the mat! Malibu clutches at his head, as Todd waits behind him, then tries to hook his head and arm for STREET DREAMS, his trademark submission manuever! COACH We ain't seen that one in a while! TONY Street Dreams by Todd Cortez would be anything but sweet dreams for Zack, who may already be regretting setting foot into the squared circle tonight! Zack squirms as Todd tries to hook him, and manages to manuever it to where he's facing Cortez, caught in a front facelock. Zack lifts Cortez off his feet, but Todd shifts his weight and drops back to the mat, landing on one knee but still keeping Zack's head trapped. Zack lifts again, and this time as Todd kicks his legs to shift his weight, Malibu pushes Cortez off, flapjacking him to the canvas, and then following up with a low dropkick to Cortez's face! COACH That wasn't a sweet dream for Cortez neither, Tony B.! Zack slowly approaches, and grabs the groggy Cortez, pulling him up and then crotching him on the top rope! Malibu then scales the ropes, holding the cage with one hand and then uses the other to ram the side of Todd's head into the cage wall repeatedly! Todd falls off the ropes, and Malibu hops down, hitting a back suplex the minute his rival makes it to his feet! Zack brings him up again, but catches a face rake that deters him! Cortez immediately takes Zack and stuffs his head, setting up for a RIOT ACT PLUS, but Zack quickly grabs the ankles and takes Cortez down, then catapults him into the air, sailing face first into the cage wall! TONY He blocked it! Zack Malibu, bloodied and all, just avoided certain defeat, and would you look at Cortez now! The impact was a good one, as Cortez lay on the mat, a crimson mask forming on his face. Cortez sputters his lips, sending particles of blood airborne, as now Zack takes control. Pulling Cortez up, Zack takes aim at the cut, clubbing at it to open it up some more just as Cortez did to him. Cortez is staggered, and stumbles through the ropes, falling into the area between the ropes and the cage, and Zack responds by hitting a running front dropkick to knock Cortez against the cage wall, followed up by a ZACK ATTACK II~! on Cortez, mashing him against the cage again! The fans roar as Cortez goes limp and falls down, then is dragged into the ring by Zack. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cortez manages a kickout, and Bohemoth taunts from the outside, rattling the cage wall and cussing Malibu out. Zack, ever the gentleman to his former friend, simply wipes the blood from his forehead and flicks it at Bo, staining Bo's pink dress shirt! The Metrosexual Monster goes into a frenzy and tears the shirt off, then starts climbing the wall of the cage...only to have Malibu climb as well! TONY Look at this! Bo climbs up the cage, but he's met by the right hand of Malibu, and the fans are ecstatic as the Metrosexual Monster gets a taste of his own medicine! Rattled, he starts climbing down before things get too out of hand, but he is not a happy camper as he turns over the timekeeper's table! COACH He was provoked, T-Bod! You saw it and I saw it! Zack drops down and goes for Cortez, but when he does Cortez lunges, only for Zack to grab his wrist. Zack and Cortez then start struggling, and it's apparent why...Cortez has pulled out his weapon of choice...the FORK, and went in for a killshot! TONY Nothing good ever happens when Cortez has that fork in his hand, and Zack needs to be careful! COACH Be careful? You mean above and beyond the fact that he's in a cage match with a sworn enemy kind of careful? The two men struggle-Todd trying to use the fork and Zack looking to avoid contact with it, and that's when Zack manages to swing Cortez over his own body and trap Todd in an armbar! Todd kicks and screams as Zack wrenches on his arm and manages to weaken Todd's grip on his silverware weapon! Zack releases the hold, and Todd favors his arm, moving away from Malibu, who picks the fork up off the mat to a huge pop! COACH This ain't good...no this ain't good! Bo screams from the outside, telling Zack not to do it, as Malibu inches closer to Cortez. Looking at the fork with disgust, Zack throws it aside, and instead rushes Cortez, hammering him with every type of shot possible as he's backed in the corner! The crowd buzzes loudly as Cortez is beaten in every which way, then sent across the ring into the far corner...only to be met with a running clothesline from Zack, and then sent back to the same corner he had retreated too...where he's met with another running clothesline! Zack then takes Todd by the head and biels him into the cage wall, and the impact sends Todd bouncing back into mid-ring as he tries to regain his balance and mount a counter attack. TONY This has been a long time coming from Todd Cortez! The treason, the backstabbing...every offense commited against Zack Malibu is being avenged here tonight at the New Year's Spectacular! Seeing Cortez's wifebeater on the mat, Malibu picks it up and wraps it around Todd's head...and uses the shirt to heave him up and over! Malibu then casts the blood soaked shirt aside and stalks Cortez until he's at the corner...where he rams Todd's head into the top turnbuckle several times, even getting the crowd to count along with each shot! Malibu then pushes Cortez into the corner, a near lifeless heap, as the crowd applauds the actions of arguably the most popular star in OAOAST history. Bo shouts encouragement to Cortez, but the street soldier remains motionless in the corner as Zack moves in again. Malibu spins him around and climbs up on the ropes, bringing his fist down time and time again...until Todd walks out of the corner and falls back, hotshotting Malibu onto an exposed turnbuckle! TONY What the hell!? COACH He unhooked the turnbuckle! The tide has turned, as now it's Malibu who is slumped down in the corner, his head rattled from being dropped on the exposed steel. He slowly stands up and staggers backwards, and that's when he's hit with a HOLLOW POINT~! directly to his ribcage, sending him through the ropes and into the side of the cage! TONY We've always known Cortez to be resilient and one to "adapt to his enviroment" so to speak. He lost his trademark weapon, but he's finding ways to use not only the cage but the ring itself as a way to dismantle Malibu! Bo applauds at ringside, but Cortez pays no attention, instead choosing to wait on Malibu's attempt to recover, and then run at him with another Hollow Point, lunging through the ropes and jamming Zack against the cage wall! Malibu crumbles, and Cortez pulls himself away, walking a bit off balance but still in better shape than Zack at this point. Circling the ring, Cortez finds his fork, cast aside on the canvas, and picks it up. He looks back at Malibu, and starts heading for the helpless superstar, fork in hand. TONY Oh no...no... Zack tries using the ropes to get to his feet, but Cortez comes over and brings him up...and then jabs him directly in the open wound with his fork! Malibu does his best to deflect and cover up, but Cortez grabs him, this time raking the fork across his forehead and extending the cut to open up almost the entire way! Blood starts pouring faster than before, as Malibu screams in pain as he's jabbed once again by the sharp instrument! TONY This is going too far! This is attempted murder! COACH This is PERSONAL, Tony B.! Zack was warned by Anglesault, he was warned by Cortez...he was warned by CANDIE! But his ego got the best of him again! Cortez throws the fork down and drags Zack through the ropes, into center ring, and taunts him by slapping the back of his head repeatedly. Cortez then pulls Zack up and holds him so that he can look him in the eye, telling him "you did this to yourself" before slapping him. HARD. Zack collapses, only to be brought up by Cortez again...and Zack shoves him away before falling to his knees. Laughing at the gall of Zack to fight back, Cortez goes to pull him up again, but as he approaches Zack shoots up, nailing a SCHOOL'S OUT out of nowhere before he collapses to the mat, leaving both men down! COACH He...but how...how did he... TONY SCHOOL'S OUT~! Malibu nailed him as he went in for the kill, but can he capitalize! Malibu hasn't moved since hitting the superkick, while Cortez is groggy, but stirring. Bo tries to rally for his friend, but he's overpowered by the crowd's rally for Zack, as the chant goes up and it goes up strong! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Cortez is the first one to his feet, and once he realizes what's going on, he goes for Zack. He drags Zack by the head and starts to pull him up into a standing headscissors, but as he does he suddenly keels over and shouts an agonizing scream out, dropping to the fetal position on the canvas...BECAUSE ZACK MALIBU JUST STUCK HIM LOW WITH HIS OWN FORK! COACH DAMN~! times infinity, Tony B.! He stabbed the man in his package! Cortez continues to scream in pain, and Zack comes up to his feet, nailing a staggering Cortez with an inverted atomic drop to add to the pain in that region, before hitting a final fork jab to the forehead that drops Cortez like he's been shot! Zack falls on top of him, not even able to hook the leg, as the referee makes the count! ONE! TWO! THREE! TONY HE DID IT! Zack Malibu pulls it off, in what may have been the fight of his life! Zack is helped up by the referee, and despite the blood loss and exhaustion, manages to get his hand raised in victory. As "Getting Away With Murder" plays, Zack moves slowly as he is helped to the door by the referee...but when he goes to exit the cage, the door slams into his face, as Bo comes over and shuts it on him as he tried to leave! Malibu falls back, while Bo opens the door and steps into the ring...and the first thing he does is nail the protesting official with a lariat! TONY What the hell is Bo doing?! COACH Obviously he's trying to get help for his friend. Todd Cortez was just the victim of a back alley nuturing! With Cortez still reeling, Bo goes after Zack, pulling him up and nailing a short arm clothesline! Looking at the mat, he sees the fork both men uses, and grabs it for himself. Bo goes and stands over Zack, but the crowd goes nuts as CANDIE runs down to the ring! TONY No Candie...Candie don't do it! Fearing for the safety of her beau, Candie darts into the ring and covers him, cradling his head. Bo steps back and looks incredulously at her, but then smiles as the door locks behind her...courtesy of ANGLESAULT! Candie turns white as a ghost as Anglesault mockingly waves at her from ringside...and with Zack and Cortez both still down, Bo stalks the petite Candie! COACH Now this ain't right...this ain't right at all. With nowhere to go, Candie does what she can...and starts climbing the cage! The fans are on their feet, watching as she tries to escape...but Bo grabs her and yanks her off the cage, sending her to the mat! She backs into a corner, and Bo gets closer...until Zack gets up and spins him around, nailing him with right hands to a HUGE pop! Candie makes a break for the door, but finds it blocked by Anglesault...and Zack's save is short-lived, as Bo picks the weakened prep up and spinebusters him to the canvas! TONY Damn it! C'mon, the match is over, just end this! COACH I think that's what they intend to do, T-Bod! Candie again is on the run from Bo, and again finds herself backed into a corner. Crying and pleading, Candie has nowhere to go...and doesn't notice why the crowd is roaring. A figure in the crowd comes over the railing and shoves Anglesault aside...then proceeds to RIP OFF THE DOOR OF THE STEEL CAGE! COACH Holy...Holy...Holy... Hearing what happened, Bo turns around, and is shocked to see that's he's now face to face with the most sadistic human being to ever pass through the OAOAST. It's seconds later that he's nailed by the large fist of that same person, as Zack Malibu and Candie are being rescued... ... ...BY BRUCE BLANK!?!!?!?!? TONY We have not seen this man in years, not since Zack forced him into retirement! The crowd EXPLODES as Bo is rocked by the punches of Bruce Blank, and is then chokeslammed to the canvas! Cortez has even gotten up, but finds himself nailed by a big boot, immediately putting him down on the canvas! Blank turns, and Anglesault, who was looking to creep into the cage, backs off, staying out of the ring entirely! TONY This is incredible! With Bo and Cortez laid out, Blank looks at Candie, who cowers in fear of the man who once invaded her home. Blank goes for Candie and does the unthinkable...and extends a hand for her. Candie, hysterical, takes his hand...and is helped to her feet by the biggest menace her boyfriend ever had to face. She immediately runs for Zack, holding him and trying to help him up, while trying to keep an eye on Blank in case this is some kind of trick. Instead, Bruce tips his hat to her and exits the ring, climbing over the guardrail and leaving through the crowd the same way he came! COACH What the...it's been four years, and now Bruce Blank came back to HELP Zack Malibu!? Trainers, EMT's, and the like flood the ring to tend to the carnage, while Anglesault causes a commotion at Sofa Central, slamming the table and even throwing one of the monitors, angered at Blank's interference in his plot to take Zack Malibu out. TONY Well, whatever his reasons are, Coach, they obviously weren't cleared with Anglesault, because he is PISSED! COACH This is crazy, Tony B. TONY It's one hell of a way to kick off the new year, but we're doing it the only way we know how...with plenty of controversy! Bruce Blank, MIA for four years after Zack Malibu retired him, has shown his face again, this time to make the save for his former foe! If tonight was any indication, 2011 is going to have plenty of twists and turns up ahead in the story of the OAOAST!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 As we return from commercial, THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS and HOLLY have set up shop onstage. There’s a DRUM SET for Synth, a GUITAR for Holly and a microphone stand for husband Logan. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here with a special message, please welcome… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!! The Heavenly Rockers play a live version of Motley Crue‘s “Motherfucker of the Year” as the Real American Prick arrives onstage to a chorus of boos. BRANNIGAN What is this, special request night? Are they gonna play Justin Bieber next? COACH Like the youth of America today, you don’t appreciate a great band like the Heavenly Rockers. The Heavenly Rockers switch gears with a slow tempo version of “Auld Lang Syne.” MR. DICK (reading noticeably off teleprompter) On behalf of everyone in the OAOAST, we’d like to wish you, the OAOAST Galaxy, a happy and… Cut the music. Cut the music! SYNTH, LOGAN & HOLLY MR. DICK This segment is bombing, just like I told you boys it would. So let’s sex this bitch up. Hit it! The Heavenly Rockers play a livelier rock version of “Auld Lang Syne.” MR. DICK The powers that be can leave me off the card, but they can't stop me from giving you people something to remember. On behalf of the OAOAST… HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! MD rips off his pants to reveal what can only be described as a PARTY BLOWER JOCK STRAP. OAOAST GALXY Malaysia appears onstage to hang a mini sign that reads “HAPPY NEW YEAR” on MD’s erect, you know. BRANNIGAN Are we even still on the air? COACH On adult pay-per-view maybe. Good thing Mr. Dick never wished us a Merry Christmas! BRANNIGAN Our director Patty O’Green informs me we’re still indeed on the air. A post-Christmas miracle no doubt. Ladies and gentlemen, the action continues following this brief time out, assuming we’re allowed back on the air!COMING UP NEXT ROYAL WARFAREMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD VS QUEEN ESTHERCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Parade of Charioteers” plays to groans and jeers from the Canadian portion of the OAOAST Galaxy. Making an unwelcome entrance onto the stage is the original OAOAST royalty, Queen Esther. The English lass wears this medieval number…. She smiles and waves to the unreceptive crowd, as she heads down a blue lit entrance stage. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making her to the ring from London, England, she is QUEEN ESTHER LINDSEY LEANOR ENDICOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Queen smiles even wider at the mention of her name, as the crowd’s groans grow all the louder. Esther walks up ring steps, and then forces the referee to hold the ropes open so that she may enter in a most ladylike fashion. Inside the squared circle, she bows a royal bow to her “loyal” subjects. COACH How brave of Queen Esther to come out here by herself. BRANNIGAN Considering whom she’s facing, she probably should have reconsidered that choice. Queen Esther has been in two matches, both were losses and one was an evening gown pillow fight. Maya has been in three matches. All wins. One against Sophie. One against Melissa. And the last one a win over Holly in a Hell In The Cell. Plus, Maya is the better athlete.You make me Feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's runaway And don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops When you look at me Just one touch Now baby I believe This is real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” summons down a pyro sparkling neon lit sign that reads MAYA! As the fans emit a gigantic cheer, an enthused Maya Duncan-Blanchard jumps through the first A. The smiling teenager twirls a neon pink baton, before tossing it high into the air. The Teen Dream performs a graceful spin, and the baton swiftly settles into her hand. Maya gives a confident nod, as if to tell us how easy such a trick is. BUFFER And her opponent, from Los Angeles, California, she is the Queen Of The Ring, MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHAAAARRRRDDDDDDDDD! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream as an enthused Maya slaps hands on her way down the entrance ramp. BRANNIGAN Her dad won earlier tonight, and her mom seeks her fourth world title. But right now is all about Maya Duncan-Blanchard defending her honor as Queen. Maya enters the ring, and jumps to the second rope. She pumps up the already roaring audience, as Queen Esther tries to shush them. DING DING DING No sooner than a second after the bell rings does Queen Esther draw a rapier from her sheath! BRANNIGAN Did she actually bring a sword to the ring? A wide smile is drawn upon her face as she thinks she has quickly one upped Maya. However, Maya is a Duncan, and there is no one upping a Duncan. Thus Maya merely pulls out a mini Nerf gun and shoots a foam dart into Queen Esther’s nose. ESTHER My nose! Dear heavens, I think you broke it! Ignoring the Queen’s misfortune, Maya takes hold of her wrist and whips her into the ropes. Rather than come back to Maya, the English lass steps through the ropes and carries herself to the outside. QUEEN ESTHER (fanning herself) Dear me, these athletic endeavors do prey upon my energy! Maya hasn’t the time or patience for Esther’s stalling and intends to do something about. She leans over the ropes and blasts her with the Nerf gun! QUEEN ESTHER Ow! Filthy creature! An enraged Queen Esther returns to the ring just as Maya had hoped. The Teen Dream pounces upon her with stomps. This is all Esther needs to decide that the ring is some place she’d rather not be. To Maya’s annoyance she rolls out the ring once more. MAYA Hey, you better get back in the ring. Its not safe out there. QUEEN ESTHER Its perfectly safe amongst my loyal subjects! MAYA If you say so. Maya turns around with a sly, sinister smile. She nods in approval and satisfaction as she hears Esther scream “RAPE”, a product of a fan pinching her butt! COACH Where are the knights to defend the Queen? With no place else left to go, Esther dives into the safety of the ring. However there’s no safety to be found inside the ring as Maya drops a knee onto her sore butt! Esther whimpers in pain as Maya makes the pinfall… ONE! TWO! The Queen throws her shoulder off the mat. Maya grabs onto her white shirt and begins to pick her off the canvas. But the Queen breaks free of Maya. She tries to make another retreat, but Maya hops onto her back to slow her down. Unable to support Maya’s bodyweight, Queen Esther crashes to the ground with the Teen Dream on top of her. The Queen beats the mat in fury and fright, desperate to get Maya off of her. Maya does dismount the Queen, but only so that she may switch to her front and grab a front facelock, BRANNIGAN Maya is showing some technical skills right now. Esther manages to push herself upright with Maya still attached to her. The English girl then begins frantically slamming punches into Maya’s stomach. After the fourth strike lands, Maya is forced to break away to attend to her sore midsection. This allows Esther to snatch hold of her golden hair. From there the Queen slings her across the ring! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The Queen SKIPS over to Maya in order to pin her to the mat…. ONE! Maya kicksout well before the two! The Queen digs into her satchel and removes a blue vial. She eagerly gulps the liquid inside it down, eyes wide in a sort of mania as she does so. The vial is tossed away, and a strange look begins to develop on the Queen’s face. BRANNIGAN We know the Queen doesn’t believe in the consumption of alcohol so I have to ask what did she just drink? The Queen pulls Maya up by her curled hair. She then raises her into the sky in a gorilla press position! This wows the cynical crowd, but they’re none too happy to see the Queen throw Maya to the ground. The Queen is delighted with herself and smiles broadly at her feat. COACH I think that was some kind of strength potion, Tony. There ain’t no way Queen Esther should have been able to press Maya. The Queen stands on Maya’s hair and yanks her arms upright, causing the youngest Duncan to scream in pain. The official eventually steps between Queen Esther, forcing a break. The English girl pouts and whines, but receives no concession from the referee. As such an angered Queen drives her black boots into Maya’s chest. This leads Maya to roll over onto her stomach to protect her chest from being caved in by Esther’s stomps. After a while Queen Esther grows bored of bashing Maya with her boots and brings her stomping to an end. “LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA!” The Queen tries to shush the crowd, reminding them that it’s impolite to make noise during a performance. BRANNIGAN She must think this is a dance recital. And it is a dance recital as the Queen begins entertaining her subjects with a ballet performance! Problematically, the Queen is about as graceful as a drunken elephant. Thusly her performance does not exactly draw rave reviews. BRANNIGAN This is just painful to watch. Before any tomatoes can be slung into the ring, Maya charges at the twirling Queen Esther. By sheer luck alone, Esther twirls away from Maya’s charge. The Teen Dream can’t slam on the brakes fast enough and crashes stomach first into the turnbuckles. The Queen is quick to cut short her dancing so that she may slam Maya’s face into the turnbuckles. BRANNIGAN Something a vicious side being shown by Queen Esther right now. COACH She’s in a stable with guys like Faqu, and Daisuke. Some of that nastiness is going to rub off even on a sweetheart like her highness. The Queen backs to the center of the ring, where she takes a moment to straighten out her medieval gear. Once everything is well sorted, she charges in on Maya. However, the Los Angeles native raises her elbow and Queen Esther’s face crashes into it! The English girl stumbles backwards, nearly in tears over her catastrophic miscue. Maya is far from sympathetic and barrels through Esther with a lariat! The Queen gets back to her feet, only to be taken off them with a slick dropkick from her foe! Sprawled out on the mat, Queen Esther begins shedding tears of frustration. MAYA Want some cheese for your whine? QUEEN ESTHER How dare you make fun of royalty! MAYA No, I’m serious, I hid a block of goodah beneath the ring in case we get hungry. Go look. Curious, Queen Esther stands up to take a gander beneath the ring. But as she heads for the ropes, Maya grabs her from behind and nails her with a release German suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN That was a brilliant show of power by Maya! A dizzied Esther rolls to her feet, and is immediately met by a charging Maya with a clothesline! As soon as Esther hits the mat, Maya springboards off the second rope with an elbow drop! But, Esther rolls out the way, leaving Maya to crash into the canvas. The royal redhead rolls to her feet and quickly runs to the ropes. When she comes back, she finds Maya standing. Thus she throws out the sloppiest lariat you may ever see! But Maya ducks the attack and captures Esther into a backslide! ONE! TWO! Esther rolls herself out the pin, panicking over nearly being defeated. She and Maya get to their feet at the same time. Its Esther who tries to score first with another lariat. But Maya ducks the attack once again. Coming up behind, Esther, Maya grabs onto her English foe and lifts her up for an atomic drop! BRANNIGAN Maya Butthurts! The Teen Drean takes off to the ropes with Esther stunned. She comes back to leapfrog her rival, then pulls her down with a facecrusher! The fans leap to their feet and pop for Maya’s finisher. BRANNIGAN Hanukkah and Christmas are over, but Queen Esther got a belated gift of an iMaya! Maya turns back around to pin Esther. But finds the troubling sight of SOPHIE pulling the queen out the ring! BRANNIGAN What is going on here? Sophie gathers up the half conscious Queen Esther, and situates her arm around her shoulder. With the audience booing and Maya standing totally annoyed, Sophie drags Esther up the entrance ramp. COACH That’s right, retreat, regroup, and continue this battle another day. Good thinking by the Queen. Sophie barks en francais at the jeering fans, before disappearing behind the curtain. BRANNIGAN The Queen has been dragged away by Sophie, and we have no idea why. Left with no other choice, the referee calls for the bell. DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a countout, MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD! The fans cheer for Maya’s oddly won victory, but Maya doesn’t appear to be overly satisfied with the win. She folds her arm and complains over Queen Esther’s escape hatch. COACH The Queen has been saved! BRANNIGAN Maya has earned the victory, but not in the way she wanted. Will her mother earn the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in our mainevent? We’ll find out next!UP NEXT OAOAST WORLD TITLEKRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS ALIX MARIA SPEZIACOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break to find Michael Buffer standing in the center of the ring with a purple spotlight hanging over him. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen: the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes and it is for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey “Top of The World” brings out a mammoth ovation from the sold out Toronto audience. On the multicolored lit entrance stage, dancers dressed in cute swimsuits with “Happy New Years” sashes, writhe and grind in tune to the thumping music. At the center of all this, is Krista Isadora Duncan, in rhinestone encrusted black top, and yellow miniskirt. She wishes herself a happy new year with a sip of a martini, before tossing her hair back and heading to the entrance ramp. BUFFER Introducing the challenger….from Los Angles, California, she is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2010's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2010's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, a Hollywood walk of famer, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a three time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Krista strides with her trademark cool down a glitter soaked entrance ramp, surrounded by fashion photographers. At the end of the ramp, she smiles a Thanksgiving Day Parade worthy smile as a wind machine blows her hair in playful directions. BRANNIGAN Krista has a tough task ahead of her tonight. She wants the OAOAST World Title back, but she also doesn’t want to hurt Alix. Can she accomplish both goals? The eyes of the entire entertainment industry are on this match. Krista gives the world wide viewers a eyeful of leggy beauty as she hangs herself upside on the third rope. COACH I never get tired of seeing that! SNOOP DOGGGreetings loved ones Lets take a journey KATY PERRYCalifornia girls We're unforgettable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top Sun-kissed skin So hot Will melt your popsicle Oooooh Oh Oooooh California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh Another huge cheer goes up in response to the arrival of “California Gurls”. A neon lit bar called Alix’s slides onto the entrance stage, complete with patrons still celebrating the new year. Relaxing on the bar, holding several pink frisbees, is world champion Alix Maria Spezia. She hops to her feet and wings the frisbees into the stands for the audience members to fight for. Free of the discs, she blows a kiss into the camera leading super imposed red lips to pop up on screen. BUFFER And the champion! From Los Angeles, California, she is THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL, ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAA! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Alix strolls down the entrance a little less perky than usual, as her focus is locked solely on her ex-girlfriend. She enters the ring to find Krista waiting with open arms. Alix regards this gesture with annoyance and scoffs at it before she turns over her world title to the official. BRANNIGAN Alix Maria Spezia is here to defend her world title, and prove a point to Krista. She wants to prove that she’s more than just a sidekick to Krista, she’s also her equal. It should be a most interesting battle between the six time tag team champions. DING DING DING Alix gets right into Krista’s face, snarling ferociously. KRISTA Uh, what are you doing? ALIX Super intense staredown! KRISTA And why are you doing a super intense staredown? ALIX Because that’s what wrestlers do when they don’t like each other! KRISTA A.we’re not wrestlers, we’re celebrities, and celebrities slash each others tires and have crying fits outside of really crowded and overrated nightclubs that Lindsay Lohan will assault someone in front of, and B.I still love you. ALIX Let’s see if you love me after I do this. Alix begins messing up Krista’s hair! KRISTA Hey, my hair! ALIX You mean hey my weave! KRISTA Alix, you know I don’t wear a weave. ALIX Oh yeah? Let’s find out! Alix lunges for Krista’s hair in a mad attempt to yank it out. But Krista avoids this attack and swings behind her to grab her inside a rear waistlock. Alix tries to break free of Krista’s grip and haul her exgirlfriend to the ground. But Krista is much too powerful for her, and Miss California shoves her to the ground with the waistlock still applied. “LET’S GO ALIX!” “LET’S GO KRISTA!” “LET’S GO ALIX!” “LET’S GO KRISTA!” Hoping to end this match as quickly as possible, Krista shoves Alix onto her back for a pinfall.. ONE! TWO! But Alix throws her shoulder off the canvas, rolling over onto her stomach as she does so. An elbow swats at Krista, forcing the challenger to take hold of another rear waistlock to subdue her. Krista does not succeed in keeping Alix grounded however, as The Hollywood Bad Girl exerts great strength to pull herself upright. With Krista still latched onto her, Alix labariously scurries off to the ropes. The referee then forces a clean break which Krista is happy to give. Alix looks back angrily at Krista who in turn offers a kind smile. BRANNIGAN I think Krista’s attempts to be nice to Alix are just making Alix even madder. Proving Tony’s point correct, Alix spins around and roars as she lunges at Krista. Unfortunately for her, Krista is able to greet her arrival by spearing her to the ground. Alix quickly tries to wail away at her ex-love, but Krista traps her inside an armlock. KRISTA Can’t we just talk this out over hot sweaty animal sex? ALIX EAT ME! KRISTA That’s exactly what I just asked to do! ALIX Please, you couldn’t eat your way through my grandmother’s panties. Although in total fairness those are some super large, and crazy smelly panties. Alix manages to overpower Krista and forces her upright, shifting her way out the hold. She takes a grip on Krista’s arms and sends her into the ropes. As Miss California returns, Alix attempts to hiptoss her over. But Krista lands on her heels and succeeds in fireman carrying Alix to the ground. Krista then goes for a quick end to the contest with a cover… ONE! KICKOUT! Both members of Chicks Over Dicks get to their feet with Krista striking first with a side headlock. That hold doesn’t remain for more than a few seconds before Alix shoves her into the ropes. Alix takes too long to act, however, and Krista returns to shoulder block her off her feet. Alix screams in annoyance and a pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! NO! Frustrated, Alix jumps to her feet, only to see her anger increased by Krista snapping on another side headlock. KRISTA Think of all the time we’re wasting. We could be using our talents of persuasion to convince Melody and Morgan to fight each other in a baby oil bikini match. ALIX I don’t need your help to get Melody naked! All I need is the early beta of Mass Effect 3 and every episode of Dragonball Z on dvd. Alix places her hands on Krista’s side and attempts to push Miss California into the corner. However Krista uses her strength advantage to resist Alix’s efforts. Drained of energy by her failed attempt, Alix breathes heavily and is unable to prevent Krista from shoving her into the corner. Alix watches in amazement and annoyance as Krista gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder. Her fury grows by the second and spurs her to grab hold of Krista’s rhinestone encrusted top. Miss California looks down at this with confusion. Her eyes grow wide with shock as Alix rips the top the away! Krista’s heavenly hooters are left bouncing in the breeze. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Aww, you do miss the girls after all. Alix proves she’s not feeling nostalgic by grabbing onto the big chested beauty and swinging her to the canvas with a side headlock takedown. Alix immediately wrenches on Krista’s neck, causing her a great amount of discomfort. COACH Krista is right A list celebrities don’t settle beef like this. But Alix is B list all the way, so she don’t get the A list smarts Krista does. Krista manages with some effort to push herself upright even with Alix still having hold of her. Now semi erect (a physical impossibility!), Krista succeeds in pushing Alix into the ropes. But when The Hollywood Bad Girl returns she shoulder blocks Krista down to the canvas. This puts a smile on Alix’s face, and she takes off to the ropes. Coming back, she finds Krista on her feet. She can do nothing to attack her however as Krista grabs onto her right leg and flap jacks her into the air! Alix crashes into the canvas, and moans in pain. BRANNIGAN I don’t think Krista is playing nice anymore. Miss California kips up, giving her breasts a crowd pleasing jiggle in the process. She hunches over waiting for Alix to rise. When Alix finally gets to her feet, Krista slams a knife edge chop into Alix’s chest. The crowd predictably whoos but the unpredictable Alix fumes with a savage rage. ALIX I know what you’re up to! You chop me, I chop you back. Only when I chop you I hit you in the boobs and those massive things start bouncing, and you chop me and nothing happens, and I look like a flat chested idiot! Alix grabs hold of Krista’s slender waist and drives her all the way to the corner. There she assails her challenger with punches and kicks until Krista sinks down to the canvas. Stuck in that position, Krista is an easy target for the stomps that Alix’s snow boots level into her. The Hollywood Bad Girl only stops when referee Earl Hebner orders her to do so. BRANNIGAN I think this is the angriest we’ve ever seen Alix. Unable to stomp Krista, Alix settles for merely picking her up off the canvas. She pulls her away from the corner, then hurls forward through the ropes. Krista lands hurt on the outside mats, causing nearby fans to check on her condition. COACH Alix just straight up disrespected Krista right there. Treated that bitch like I treat one of my hos, take their money then throw they asses out on the street. Krista arrives to her feet, and gives the fans a reassuring nod. She then begins climbing onto the apron. But, Alix grabs hold of her golden hair and roughly drags her up. She locks on a front facelock, expecting to be able to suplex Miss California back into the ring. But Krista blocks the attack with her dominant strength. Alix gives up and sighs in exhaustion. This break allows Krista to slide through Alix’s legs, and hook onto them to drag her down into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix kicksout, and quickly springs to her feet. Krista attempts to catch her with a lariat. However, Alix reacts quick and ducks the attack. Krista swings around and gets caught in the stomach with a powerful snow boot. With Krista doubled over, Alix retreats to the ropes. When she comes back, she attempts to swipe at Krista with a kick. But Krista shoots her head up and avoids the deadly attack. Alix comes roaring back, only to meet with a heel to the stomach. Krista tries a fast DDT, but Alix is aware enough to make a quick escape, backing away from Krista. But, her retreat only carries her so far before Krista lariats her over the top rope! Alix is dumped outside, landing on the black mats. But she quickly composes herself and hops upright, shaking off any ill effects. This does her little good as Krista baseball slides into her face. Alix tumbles backwards, clutching her sore face. She doesn’t get much time to attend to her injuries as Krista drags her back inside the ring. A cover is then made… ONE! TWO! Alix throws her shoulder off the canvas to save her world title. “LET’S GO ALIX!” “LET’S GO KRISTA!” “LET’S GO ALIX!” “LET’S GO KRISTA!” Krista scrapes Alix off the canvas by her tube top and attempts to whip her into the corner. But, Alix reverses the attack and Krista and her bouncing jugs are sent heading to the turnbuckle posts. Krista places her hands on the third rope and attempts to float over Alix. However, Alix catches onto her long tan legs and upends her over the ropes! Krista crashes to the mats, and immediately howls in pain. BRANNIGAN That was a smart counter by Alix. Krista left herself hanging in the air and Alix took advantage of it. The world champion exits the ring to retrieve her ex girlfriend. She scoops her up and deposits her back into the squared circle. Alix then hooks Krista’s legs for a pinfall after getting back into the ring… ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder up, popping the audience. Obviously less pleased is Alix who makes a puppy dog face at Hebner. When that doesn’t work, Alix is forced to pick Krista up and whip her into the corner. This time Krista is able to successfully float over Alix! When she lands behind Alix, her palm moves slowly up the well muscled back of her leg. Before Alix knows it, Krista grabs hold of the tasty curve of her buttocks. ALIX Whoa, hello! KRISTA Ah, just as I remember it. ALIX Let go of me! Let go! Let go! Let go! KRISTA You can break up with the girl, you can break up with her million dollar checkbook, you can even break up with her Yorkshire Terrier that pees on you while you sleep, but you can never break up with her FIT with BUNS line of exercise videos. Alix doesn’t stand for this, and quickly rips her tush away from Krista’s grab. Free of Krista, Alix swiftly moves behind her. In response to Krista’s groping, she grabs the upward curve of Krista’s butt, till she cups her entire buttock in her palm. Krista jumps in surprise, as Alix’s hands press against the tanned flash. The Hollywood Bad Girl then finds the other sumptuous cheek. With a devious smile on her face she pinches it until Krista yelps in pain. KRISTA Alix, you have both hands on my ass. That’s just redundant. Move a finger to my front and see if you find anything you like. Alix then lifts Krista up by the ass and drops her face first across the top turnbuckle! KRISTA Ow. ALIX I’m not hear for your entertainment, you don’t really want to mess with me tonight, just stop and take a second, I was fine before you walked into my life, because you know its over before it begins, keep your dream just give me the money, its just you and your hand tonight. KRISTA Are you doing a thing? ALIX I’m expressing my feelings as if I were pop star Pink. KRISTA Okay, we’re either going to have to start singing legit or you’re going to look like one of those annoying people who updates their facebook with song lyrics in the absence of having anything intelligent to say, which falsely presumes that anyone has anything intelligent to say on facebook. ALIX My facebook statues updates are intelligent. KRISTA Well…. ALIX I’LL KILL YOU! Alix charges in after Krista, but Miss California slides out the way and the world champion slams into the posts. A look of dizziness falls over her face as she leans against the posts. Krista’s eyes light up as a delicious opportunity presents itself. She latches onto Alix’s white booty shorts and looks out to the crowd for their opinion. “DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!” KRISTA Do what, I just wanted to see the label. But you gave me an idea, which I’m loathe to admit because I’d hate for people to think I take anything but money from wrestling fans. Krista gives the crowd what they and she wants by ripping away Alix’s shorts from her well sculpted body! Left in their place is a leopard print thong and perfectly rounded buttocks. ALIX Hey! I spent a lot of money getting someone to steal those for me! BRANNIGAN The challenger stripped down to a bra, and the champion stripped down to her thong. This is like no world title match I’ve ever seen! Alix fumes and zooms at Krista, attempting to steal back her lost shorts. But Krista acts as a matador and quickly yanks them away from Alix’s lunging grasp. KRISTA If you take me back, I’ll give them to you. ALIX No deal! Krista shrugs her shoulders in a casual sort of manner. The shorts are then tossed over the ropes into the lap of Coach. The announcer eagerly scoops them up and begins SNIFFING them. BRANNIGAN Have you no shame, Coach? Alix is furious over Krista giving away perfectly good shorts and rushes at her ex girlfriend. Krista is well prepared for Alix’s arrival and catches her onto her shoulders. Alix kicks her legs bare frantically, trying for a hasty escape. Rather than execute a painful gutbuster, Krista gently sets Alix down on her outstretched knee. KRISTA Hey, Alix, do you remember the time you wanted me to try spanking you, but the Lakers were on and I, feeling the pang of white guilt, felt I had to watch large black men play a game for the entertainment and pleasure of white people who would sooner set themselves on fire then ever talk to a black man, instead of lustily raking my hands across your beautiful ass? This is me making that up to you. Krista cocks her hand back and winks towards the now cheering crowd. Her hand surges forward and wacks Alix across her butt! Alix yelps in pain and surprise, trying her hardest to avoid taking any pleasure from the smack. Krista pulls her hand back and slaps the lush globes of her buttocks again. The tender flesh ripples from the touch, an eye-pleasing happening. Alix shouts once more, and wiggles in an attempt to get off Krista’s lap. Hands bounce off Alix’s cheeks, leaving their imprints on her smooth tan flesh. COACH Alix and Krista should break up more often! Alix somehow succeeds in rolling off Krista, causing the audience to “Awww” in disappointment. She fans her flaming hot ass while firing a nasty stare at Krista. ALIX I’m on a conference call with God, The Pope, Jesus and The Holy Ghost and they are not happy with your actions. KRISTA Well, I’m Jewish, so their opinion holds as much weight with me as Bristol Palin’s opinion should hold with any sane person, that is to say none at all. ALIX I know what you’re doing. You’re totally trying to annoy me into charging at you, and then you can grab me and spank me again! Well, nobody spanks my bare butt except my Uncle Hector once when I was twelve and he got deported for it so that’s final. Unless you’re totally trying to trick me into thinking you’re totally trying to annoy me into charging at you so that I really don’t and then you can attack me. Or maybe you’re just totally trying to trick me into thinking you’re tricking me into thinking you’re totally trying to annoy me into charging at you…and my head hurts. KRISTA I think you should charge me. ALIX Good idea. Alix forgets all her previous logic and charges at Miss California. This of course is a spectacularly foolish idea as Krista catches her on her shoulders. The blond beauty takes a moment to shake her head at Alix’s gullible nature. But this is a moment wasted as Alix rolls down her back in a sunset flip style motion. Alix latches onto Krista’s mini skirt and begins attempting to tug Krista down for the pinfall! Krista refuses to go down, standing upright and fighting Alix’s tug. The world champion furiously yanks on Krista’s skirt, doing her best to gain a pinfall. While she fails to earn her pinfall, she does succeed in ripping down Krista’s skirt, leaving this in its place… “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream while Alix parades around with Krista’s skirt. She then attempts to dropkick it out the ring, before realizing dropkicking a skirt is nearly impossible, and just throws it out to Coach. The overjoyed announcer revels in having a piece of Krista’s clothing. ALIX Ha! KRISTA Ha, huh? ALIX Yes. Ha. KRISTA Okay.RIIIIIIIPPPPPPPP! Krista tears away Alix’s tube top to reveal… “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Ha times two. BRANNIGAN Champion and challenger are in bras and panties! COACH And I’m being PAID to watch this! Paid! I would give your kidney to see this, and I’m getting paid to watch it! ALIX Ha divided by three. KRISTA Huh? Alix shows what that odd statement means by spearing Krista to the ground. Its a tangled mess of lace, baby oil, and loads of toned skin as Krista and Alix roll about the ground to immense pleasure of the sold out audience. They tug at each other’s hair, claw at each other’s half naked bodies, and generally try their hardest to maul one another. COACH Paid to watch this! The Hollywood Bad Girl eventually pulls herself free of Krista. This allows her to take to the air with a double stomp aimed at Krista’s face! Thankfully for Krista’s fetching features, Miss California slides out the way. Alix’s boot slam into the canvas, throwing her off balance. For that reason, Krista is able to reach through her legs and school girl Alix into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix rolls backwards, escaping the pinfall. She leaps to her feet, eyeing Krista as she does the same. Alix lunges at Krista with a lariat! But Krista ducks the attack, then hooks her arms between Alix’s. From there she bends down and drags Alix to the ground in a backslide… ONE! TWO! Alix manages to fall backwards out of the pinfall effort. She quickly hops to her feet, and latches onto Krista’s arm. An irish whip attempt is made but Krista shifts her weight and throws Alix into the corner. Alix hits the turnbuckle posts with enough force that it sinks her down onto her thonged tush. Alix’s vulnerable position and weary expression draw a scheming smile onto Krista’s face. BRANNIGAN That smile never bodes well for Krista’s opponents. KRISTA Alix, I’m doing this for your own good. Well, mostly my own good, but some your own good. Krista positions herself in front of Alix, who as evidenced by her exhausted face hasn’t the will or the way to avoid what’s forthcoming. KRISTA to ALIX “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!“ ALIX Oops! I mean Alix gets to her feet, seeking to extract revenge on Krista. However, she’s still a little woozy, which allows Krista to trap her inside a small package. The tangle of flesh pops the crowd, while Hebner counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix untangles herself from the pinfall. She comes to her feet, and swipes at Krista with her snow boot. But Krista catches onto her leg, causing Alix to attempt to pull herself free. Before she can manage and escape, Krista grabs onto her creamy thighs and drags her into a pinfall… ONE! TWO Alix again rolls her way out the pin. Krista is upright rather quickly, and Alix scrambles to be the same. Trying to gain the upperhand, the world champion darts at Krista. Miss California’s shuffles towards the side, forcing Alix to fall into the ropes. Krista’s arms circle around Alix’s smooth stomach, and she rolls Alix into a pin that pops the crowd due to Alix’s spread legs… ONE! TWO! Alix places a hand on Krista’s fit butt and shoves her away. The Hollywood Bad Girl springs upright, waiting to catch Krista as she turns around. Once Miss California does that, Alix blasts her toned midsection with a knee. Krista is doubled over, which makes it easy for Alix to shoot her into the corner. Krista slams against the corner posts, forcing energy out her body. Seconds later Alix slams into her, her pink coated breasts smashing into her face. There’s no time to enjoy that sensation for Krista with Alix’s arm curling around her head. The Hollywood Bad Girl then runs across the ring, bulldogging Krista into the canvas. After getting upright, Alix positions herself at Krista’s side, leading the knowing audience to let a pop of anticipation. ALIX Booty time! The fans roar their approval and watch in absolute glee as Alix’s rump begins its lovely bounce. KRISTA What are you doing? ALIX So not only are you selfish, self centered, mean spirited, and annoying, you’re also blind. I’m doing the bootysault! KRISTA Well, you’re doing the dance all wrong. ALIX Oh am I? You’re going to tell me how to do a move you straight up stole from me. KRISTA To quote Jay-Z, you made it a hot line, I made it a hot song. ALIX Oooooh that is it! Gimmie a microphone! Alix is handed a microphone. ALIX Yo, T.O.! I need you to do me a lil favor. Krista and I are gonna have a booty shaking contest, and you get to judge. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Seeing that first is the worst, and second is the best, you can go first, Krista! Krista steps to the center of the ring as a spotlight hangs over her. She does a few exaggerated stretches, while Alix looks on annoyed. KRISTA I call this piece “Booty In C Minor” KRISTA COACH I call my piece "Boner in B Sharp" ! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista finishes off with a wink and smile towards both Alix and the camera. Unimpressed, Alix orders Krista to step aside. Krista does so, and happily invites Alix to attempt to top her. Alix steps inside the spotlight, where she flips her hair back and invites the audience to build up their cheers. Once the cheering is at a suitable level, Alix commences the shaking. ALIX Krista school girls Alix into a pinfall! ONE! TWO! THREE! BRANNIGAN Krista has done it, in a way I don’t think any expected! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and new OAOAST World Champion….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Alix explodes out the pinfall, looking as though she may erupt with volcanic fury. She yells at the referee with a never before seen anger before grabbing the microphone. ALIX You…you…how could you?! I can’t even begin to explain how wrong what you did is! Oh my god, my head is about to explode! Krista gathers up her newly won world title and a microphone. KRISTA Alix, come on, let’s just put this whole thing behind us. ALIX No, no, no! Its one thing to trick Lucius, or Rico, or that funny looking retarded kid in the crown, but you took advantage of me, someone you’ve been claiming to love. You just can’t risk losing the spotlight. You have all these other venues to be successful at, and I have just this one, and you won’t even let me have it! KRISTA Alix, don’t be mad. “Medal” turns heads towards the entrance stage and puts stunned expressions on both girls as well as their legion of fans. The entrance doors spread apart and into a hostile arena comes the company founder, Anglesault. In his hand rests a microphone and on his face is a confident smirk. He isn’t alone as Jason Silver, clad in a black t-shirt, and tights, stands at his side, bouncing back and forth on his feet. Perhaps most importantly of all the MONEY IN THE BANK briefcase rests in his hand. COACH T-Bod look, Silver has the briefcase. Leon’s money in the bank briefcase. ANGLESAULT So sorry to break up this lover’s quarrel, but there’s business to attend to. You can save your public spat for the pages of US Magazine, or TMZ, or maybe even a E! true Hollywood story one day if you’re lucky. But, as of right now you’re just another failed celebrity couple. But be glad, you lasted longer than Scarlet Johanssen and Ryan Reynolds and Resse Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal combined. KRISTA Honey, do we know you? ALIX Stupid. He’s Stone Cold. ANGLESAULT I’m not Stone Cold. ALIX You’re bald. You’re a wrestler. You’re Stone Cold. Deal with it. ANGLESAULT You know who I am! I and my loyal crew attacked you months ago! I am Anglesault, founder of this company! KRISTA You do know this same company you founded featured a segment on their biggest show of the year in which admitted crack heads gathered around a piss stained used mattress and proceeded to set black people back fifty years, so I’d rethink the whole proud to be the founder thing if I were you. Anyway, I never knew you were the founder. ANGLESAULT Have you not been watching the past four months of OAOAST television? KRISTA Hell no I haven’t. What kind of loser do you take me for? ALIX What do you want anyway? ANGLESAULT I want nothing with you, Alix. Your loss is heartbreaking, and I’m sure your crushed. But eras pass quickly in wrestling and we have to usher in the new hope to lead us forward. The problem is that new hope is not Krista. It is my nephew Jason Silver. Silver smiles and points a menacing finger at Krista. ANGLESAULT As you can see we are now in possession of what was Leon Rodez’s Money In The Bank briefcase. Yes, we were the ones who brutally assaulted him. Jumped him from behind, stole what he worked so hard to defend. But when we took down Leon Rodez and stole his Money In The Bank briefcase, we didn’t do it because we don’t like the man, and we didn’t do it because we’re glory hounds. We did out of simple necessity. The reason we did it was to bring about the change the OAOAST has sorely been lacking in our absence. The change from Zack Malibu’s filth ridden, corrupt, weak OAOAST, to one built on the principles strength, power, and awesomeness. Leon Rodez is a dour, moody, unpredictable person, someone like that can’t be trusted to represent those ideals. But who better to be the poster boy of this new OAOAST than a man modeled after my image, my nephew Jason Silver. That is why, Krista Isadora Duncan, your fourth OAOAST World Title reign will be your shortest. Like Leon Rodez it will be a casualty in the quest to build a better Zack Malibu free OAOAST. The question is, will you be a casualty with it? Will you give my nephew his world title, or will he come and take it from you? KRISTA He can take a lot of things from me, he can take my dry cleaning, my dinner order, maybe even my memoirs should I ever feel the urge to ramble drunkenly about my hatred for all things Disney, except Daisy Duck she’s quite the turn on, but he can not take my world title. ANGLESAULT Then you have a title defense! I suggest you put your clothes back on! In a rare display of modesty, or maybe just because its freezing cold, Krista orders Coach give her back her skirt, and she puts it on. ANGLESAULT Now I suggest you turn around. Krista does just that and is leveled by a lariat from Bosley! BRANNIGAN What the hell is he doing here? This is supposed to be Jason Silver’s match. Silver slowly eeks down the entrance ramp, nodding in approval as Bosley lays his boots into Krista’s back. COACH And Alix is just watching this! Bosley presses Krista overhead and drops her throat first across the top rope! She stumbles backwards, carrying herself into a back suplex from the alpha male. BOSLEY AWW HELL YEAH! ITS BOSLEY TIME, BITCHES! BRANNIGAN Alix isn’t overly happy with Krista right now, but I didn’t think she’d let her get ambushed by a man three times her size. Silver continues to watch patiently from the outside as Bosley pummels Krista with stomps. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” The fans chant falls on deaf ears as Bosley whips Krista into the ropes and catches her with a spine buster! He then runs the ropes and crushes her body with a big splash. All the while Alix watches with an empty stare. BRANNIGAN Bosley is doing the dirty work and Silver is aiming to get all the reward. After Bosley hits Krista with the NYPDDT, Silver decides that the champion is effectively weakened. Thus he leisurely strolls into the ring, eying down Krista with a bold stare. ANGLESAULT Ring the bell! DING DING DING BRANNIGAN We are underway with our second world title match for the night! Right off the mark, Silver hooks Krista’s legs for a pinfall. At Anglesault’s insistence a count is made… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, as Anglesault slams the mat in rage. He barks at Hebner to count faster, an order that does not go appreciated by the experienced official. BRANNIGAN Anglesault has already lost his cool and this “match” just began. COACH Yeah, but before it he got made a fool of. BRANNIGAN Well, he interrupted Krista when she was talking. He's lucky he still has testicles! Jason Silver plays things cool in comparison to his raging uncle, and calmly picks Krista off the canvas. He shoots her into the ropes, believing he’ll be able to lacerate her with a lariat. But Krista ducks the attack and rebounds to floor Silver with a flying forearm! As Silver nurses a now sore face, the world champion kips up. She winks at Anglesault, who predictably fumes on the outside. That wink turns out to be not so innocent as Krista begins yanking down Silver’s tights! ANGLESAULT WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM? Krista stops with a puzzled expression on her face. KRISTA Hey, I just won a world title in Victoria Secret’s winter line so I think your nephew ought to do the same. Possibly not in Victoria Secret per se, or maybe so if he’s into crossdressing, that’s an issue to address later, but not really because I’m finding it hard to care about any of you, and judging by the flood of people that headed to exits once your music played, I think the fans are finding it hard as well. ANGLESAULT You better not strip him down! KRISTA So, wait, you’ll let him grope other sweaty half naked queers, but when a hot blond tries to pull down his pants, there’s a problem? ANGLESAULT Bosley! Bosley hops onto the ring apron, and eats a forearm for his troubles. Krista quickly swings around to notice Silver in a sitting position. Ever the opportunistic one, she comes off the ropes with her running knee. But Silver catches hold of her leg and traps her inside a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista kicksout, causing Anglesault to release his annoyance by kicking the ring steps. Meanwhile, Alix watches with a vague hard to read stare. COACH Damn, Silver better pull this one out, bodies gonna drop if he doesn’t. BRANNIGAN You're right, Coach. VICE lost to The Cobras, Riggs lost to Denzel Spencer, Cortez lost to Zack and Bruce Blank returned to help The Franchise. Its been a terrible night for Anglesault's crew. I don't think he could stomach another failure. Silver backs into the corner, putting a bone weary expression on his face. This lures Krista in after him, and as she approaches he nails her with an elbow to the face. This causes Krista to stagger backwards towards the center of the ring. Silver attempts to take advantage of her stunned state by bouncing off the ropes with a lariat. However, Krista ducks beneath his attacking arm. Trying to get a read on Krista, Silver turns around and his nailed in the face by a springboard heel kick! As the fans cheer the attack, Krista leans across Silver for the pin… ONE! TWO! Bosley puts Silver’s foot on the ropes! BOSLEY COME ON, JASON, YOU GOT THIS, BABY! DO IT ALPHA STYLE! "BOSLEY'S GAY! BOSLEY'S GAY! BOSLEY'S GAY!" the fans chant. KRISTA Hey, I'm gay! "WE ARE SORRY! WE ARE SORRY! WE ARE SORRY!" That satisfies Krista and she returns her focus to a groggy Silver. She readies herself to hit a split legged corckscrew moonsault. But before she can even get into the air, Anglesault grabs his nephew and hastily pulls him out the ring. “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The company founder tries to give his beleaguered nephew a pep talk in the face of a problematic foe. However, words are short as Krista comes flying over the top with a corckscrew plancha. AS manages to slide out the way, however the challenger isn’t so lucky as he bears the full brunt of Krista’s dive! BRANNIGAN Anglesault just left his nephew to be smushed by Krista! Not quite the coward the fans and Brannigan might label him as, AS takes a wild swing at Krista. However, he only connects with the metal posts as Krista gingerly shuffles to the side. The former world champion howls in pain, thinking his hand may be broken. Krista isn’t exactly sympathetic, placing her heel on AS’ butt and rudely shoving him to the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” After picking up Silver by his sleek black hair, Krista dumps the new Mister Money In The Bank back into the ring. She then slingshots herself into the ring with a leg drop that results in her pinning Silver… ONE! TWO! Silver powers out at two! BRANNIGAN I think Anglesault thought his nephew was going to come out and do a quick mop up job. But, in my opinion that’s just plain ignorant. You don’t mop up a now four time OAOAST World Champion and you don’t mop up Krista Isadora Duncan of all people. Krista brings Silver upright by his hair, but does so too slowly as Silver rakes her blue eyes. With Krista blinded and hobbled, Silver climbs to the top turnbuckle just as fast as he can. With Anglesault rooting him, Silver descends the turnbuckle to blast Krista with a missile dropkick. BOSLEY HELL YEAH! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, BABY! A look of fierce determination spreads across Silver’s face as he gets to his feet. He stomps about the ring, being pumped up by his uncle and Bosley. When Krista rises he snaps his arms around her slim waist in a rear waistlock. BRANNIGAN Jason Silver must be wanting to hit that German Suplex! Silver bridges backwards and throws Krista over head. However, instead of splattering on the canvas, Krista comes down gracefully on her heels. Silver takes quick notice of this, and makes an angry charge at Krista. Problematically his run carries himself directly into her knee. Miss California then snaps her arms around his neck and takes him for a ride with a side effect! On the outside Anglesault once again loses his cool, yelling at Krista for one upping his nephew with the Blonds Never Pay a Cover. KRISTA Listen, honey, just because Austin Powers foiled yours and Goldmember’s scheme to take over the world via time travel is no reason to yell at me. ANGLESAULT I am not Dr.Evil! Krista nods a disbelieving nod before refocusing herself on defeating Silver. She springs onto the top rope for a split legged corckscrew moonsault, but as she hits the top rope, Silver swipes her legs out! This causes Krista to crash back to the canvas to the horror of the audience. Silver shakes the ropes in triumph, before settling on top of Krista for a pin…. ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder up to pop the crowd. Anglesault is his usual furious self and threatens Hebner over the failed count. Elsewhere Alix continues to watch with the same disinterested stare. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The reason for the audience’s sudden excitement is…..Morgan Nerdly, dashing down the entrance ramp. COACH What the hell? With her face burning a furious red, Morgan rushes over to Anglesault. Without so much as a single warning, she screeches and slugs him in the jaw! Despite her diminutive size, the punch does enough damage to shove AS’ backwards. This surprisingly painful attack causes great anger in AS, and he looms large and imposing over the little girl. Far from intimidated, Morgan fumes, trembling with a brilliant anger.Zzzzzzzzztttttt!Zzzzzzzzztttttt!Zzzzzzzzztttttt! BRANNIGAN Anglesault better get out of there! COACH Run, boss, run! That bitch has superpowers and she’s stone cold crazy! Fully aware of Morgan’s unique abilities and her violent nature, AS suddenly grows a yellow streak and beats a hasty retreat. Morgan emits an ear piercing shriek and takes off after him. AS runs like the wind as Morgan’s dashes behind him. Finally AS reaches Bosley, who is a suitable line of defense, clotheslining little Morgan before she even realizes he’s in front of her. Morgan goes limp and the crowd is outraged. Anglesault, on the other hand, is quite relieved and pats the Alpha Male on the back. Bosley smiles and begins HOWLING into the night. BRANNIGAN What a couple of scumbags these two are. COACH She was going to fry him! BRANNIGAN They brutalized the love of her life, Coach. No matter how bad Leon treats her, she loves him. Alix rushes to Morgan’s aid, warding off Anglesault and Bosley. She frantically attends to the fallen Nerdly girl, trying to will her back to life. BRANNIGAN I know that Morgan would be better off without Leon, but its admirable she has the heart to fight for him. He doesn’t deserve someone like her. Meanwhile, Silver yanks Krista into a front facelock, and signals for the end of the contest. But Krista prolongs the contest by shoving Silver into the ropes. Rather than bounce back, Silver has his legs hooked onto by his meddlesome uncle. Though this was a well intentioned move it does Silver more harm as than good as Krista runs forward and easily nails him with the KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Anglesault immediately panics, fretting over his plan gone awry. He soon realizes that he’s fortunate to still have a grip on his nephew’s leg. AS quickly drags Silver outside the ring before Krista can even entertain the thought of pinning him. Krista hasn’t a second to lodge a complaint as Bosley clubs her from behind! BRANNIGAN That should be a DQ. COACH How can you have a DQ in a match with no formal rules? Bosley hammers Krista’s with punches, backing her into the corner. He savages her ripped midsection with shoulder blocks, leaving her sagged and bruised. The Alpha Male smiles as he grabs onto her arm and whips her across the ring. Bosley chases her down with a lariat that slams into her collarbone. Krista staggers out the corner, buts get no farther than a few inches before Bosley hurls her into the opposite corner. Krista slams stomach first into the turnbuckles, an oomph escaping her lips. On the outside, AS applies the SMELLING SALT to a downed Silver. BOSLEY YEAH! THE ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP BOUT TO GET HIM SOME! Bosley produces his dangerous telescopic baton! BRANNIGAN The former NYPD officer whipped out that same baton we saw earlier! Bosley charges in after Krista with baton raised and mouth roaring. Due to his insane yelling, Krista is well aware of his arrival and ducks his approach. Bosley spins on his shoes, ready to clock to Krista with the baton. But Krista’s high heels slam a dropkick into his face! This attack frees the baton from his grip and shoves him into the corner. With Bosley incapacitated, Krista picks up the baton. KRISTA Wow, all this thing needs is lube and a vibrate setting and I’m telling you me and it could ring in a hell of a New Year. Bosley’s charge at Krista is a failed one as Krista smacks the baton into his stomach. Krista grabs onto his wrist and whips him into the ropes, leap frogging him on his return. Bosley grinds to a halt and quickly turns around, only be punished with an Inverted Atomic Drop! As if that weren’t bad enough for Bosley, he’s rocked beneath the jaw by a super kick completing Krista’s Great California Adventure! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Cheers quickly turns to boos as Jason Silver smashes the Money In The Bank briefcase upside Krista’s head! Miss California falls to the canvas, the life completely drained from her face. ANGLESAULT End it, now! Silver is fast to follow orders, rolling Krista onto her stomach and cranking back on her head. BRANNIGAN The 16th minute! Ironically that’s how long Krista’s title reign has lasted, but will it go on any longer? The damage and pressure on Krista is immense, but with what little energy she has in her body she refuses to submit. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista weakly shakes her hand in refusal to submit. The pain is amazing however and her will to fight is being drained by the second. BRANNIGAN Krista is right in the middle of the ring, she can not reach the ropes! She’s barely conscious as it is. Silver puts the torque on the inescapable hold, cracking and grinding Krista’s head. Her hand still moves, albeit slower and more painfully than ever. COACH If Krista doesn’t submit she’s going to cause herself serious injury! Miss California squirms and writhes within the hold, fighting a futile and wasted battle to break free. With every movement she makes her energy grows all the weaker as Silver merely tightens the hold. ANGLESAULT Give up! Krista’s body goes limp, and any resistance from it ceases. However, the world champion refuses to submit. She needn’t do so, however, as Alix throws in the towel for her exgirlfriend! Well, it’s a tube top not a towel, but its good enough for Hebner, who has seen enough, and calls for the bell! DING DING DING! BUFFER Your winner and new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, JASON SILVER! That announcement does not sit well with the OAOAST Galaxy, and they express their disdain in crude and vulgar shouts. Even Alix, who had remained a pillar of neutrality, frowns at the result. Aside from the champion, the lone celebrator is Anglesault who performs a classic strut before climbing into the ring. BRANNIGAN I don’t believe what I have seen! This rookie, this kid who has been on the main roster for only four months is now the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen an OAOAST match end like that, I’m not sure Alix had the authority to throw in the towel for Krista. COACH But she did and Hebner counted it. Did she do it to save Krista or did she do it to get revenge on Krista? Silver snatches his belt from the referee, and foists it high into the air. COACH Nobody expected this to happen, Tony. Anglesault has made a major powerplay! BRANNIGAN He certainly has. What was a terrible night for the company's founder has ended in triumph. His nephew is now the top superstar in this industry! Silver climbs to the second turnbuckle and displays the title proudly as he shouts out celebratory cries to the audience. All the while Anglesault stands behind him, applauding with TEARS in his eyes. BRANNIGAN Anglesault for all intents and purposes is in control of the OAOAST World Title! God help us all!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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