OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 12/9/10

[Tony149]

We cold open to the Holiday themed Sofa Central

TONY
Last week on HeldDOWN~!, Zack Malibu made his presence felt for the first time on this program in over a year, revealing to everybody that he has divided and sold his half of OAOAST control to five different OAOAST veterans, allowing him to return to the ring and combat Anglesault's attempt to "take back" his company. We also learned the identity of one of the men now holding ten percent of power in the OAOAST, and it was none other than Zack's longtime confidant, Caboose.

COACH
My old broadcast buddy! My brutha from anutha motha!

TONY
Really, Coach? He's been in power for seven days and you're already kissing ass?

COACH
Job security, Tony B.!

TONY (rolling eyes)
Well, regardless, this is a little more important. As I was saying, we know that Zack's back as an active wrestler, a fact that Anglesault and his followers have not taken lightly. This is what took place not long ago, as OAOAST superstars were arriving at the arena. It's not for the squeamish.

(The scene cuts to a sunny parking lot, with the words "EARLIER TODAY" in the lower left hand corner of the screen. Maggie Nerdly stands waiting, mic in hand, and the voice behind the camera reveals that it's Molly Nerdly doing the filming.)

MAGGIE
You sure I look ok? Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

MOLLY
It's a camera, not a mirror! Now turn around, I think that's him pulling him now!

A black BMW comes cruising through the parking lot, and pulls into a nearby space. The camera shakes a little as the Nerdly women approach the car, with Melody calling out to the driver.

MAGGIE
Zack! Hey, Zack! Can we get a scoop from you on who else you sold your power to?

Zack, pulling his bag from the trunk, turns to answer the question, but is suddenly blindsided by TODD CORTEZ! Maggie shrieks and nearly falls over herself trying to get away as Cortez smashes Zack's face into the trunk of the car, then reveals his now trademark fork! Pressing down to keep Zack from getting away, Cortez takes the fork and jabs it into Zack's forehead, then rakes across, sending drips of blood flying all over the trunk! Zack screams in agony, and so do the Nerdly girls, calling for help as Cortez taunts Zack while carving him! Denzel Spencer, Ned Blanchard, and Simon Singleton are soon on the scene, with Spencer yanking Cortez off of Zack while the OCC check on the Nerdly's. Seeing that the girls are OK, the OCC forms a wall between Cortez and Zack while the Heartland Champion checks on him, and the face of the Franchise is a crimson mask as he sits against the bumper of his car. Ned orders the Nerdly's to go find help, and the last thing we hear before Molly turns the camera off is the hushes whispers of "Oh my god!" between the two nervous sisters.

[Tony149]

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA

We're back at the festive Sofa Central with Tony Brannigan and Da Coach.

BRANNIGAN
Hello world! What a way we started the show!

COACH
With Zack Malibu being left a bloodied mess.

BRANNIGAN
Anglesault's crew is out for blood, that much is certain. Fans, welcome to Tulsa, Oklahoma for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Tony Brannigan sitting alongside Da Coach. Tonight's show promises to be a holiday treat with the tag titles on the line as the Can Am Assassins will square off against The Christ Air Express! Plus, we'll hear from King Landon as well as Queen Of The Ring Maya Duncan-Blanchard!


Give me those bright lights, long nights
High rise, over time

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Give me them bright lights, long nights
Party till the sun is rising
High rise, over time
Working till the moon is shining
Hot guys, fly girls
Never thought I'd say
I feel on top of the world
I feel on top of the world Hey

The entrance doors spread apart allowing Krista Isadora Duncan, clad in grey and white flannel top and skinny jeans, to stride out. She sips on a beer before chucking it away into the stands, which is not exactly the safest thing to do.

BRANNIGAN
Krista Isadora Duncan is beloved by the fans, but one person who isn't too fond of her right now is Alix Maria Spezia.

COACH
A thief and a fool! Alix gave up the good life of dating a major celeb just because she ain't wanna be the sidekick. Ain't nothing wrong with being a sidekick. You eatin' good as my sidekick, ain't you, Tony?

BRANNIGAN
No comment.

Krista takes hold of the microphone and waits for the buzzing to die down before she speaks.

KRISTA
Hi, people of a city who’s name I forgot. How are you doing tonight? I don’t really care, so don’t bother answering that question. Now as for how I’m doing, that’s important. Because I’m famous, and my life is therefore more important than your’s. US Magazine said so. I’m doing pretty damn bad, because some people think I may have hit Alix with a lacrosse stick on purpose. I’ve wanted to hit a lot of people on purpose, Rush Limbaugh, Ned, the Shammow guy, but never Alix. That was a total and complete accident and I’m sure she knows that, and now you know it to. But I’m also down because I just got dumped on live television for all the entire world to see. Now most of the world was probably not subjecting themselves to the living hell that is HeldDOWN, so I got dumped in front of CIA prisoners being tortured by being forced to watch this show. And it hurt. It hurt a lot, not as bad as being forced to watch Christian stumble through a promo half the audience can’t understand but it hurt. It hurt because I lost something I loved. And it hurt because I had to do some painful self reflection and see that I was wrong. And I’m usually right. In fact I’ve been right since the dawn of man. We actually have footage of that, so let’s take a look.

We’re taken to the GARDEN OF EDEN where Eve (Maggie Nerdly in a red wig) is admiring an APPLE on the tree of wisdom. Suddenly a Snake (Waldo of the Burroughs  Boys in costume)

SNAKE
What up, bitch!

EVE
Hi Snake.

SNAKE
Yo that Apple look like it be DA BOMB~! You best to eat that shit, nigga.

Krista, wearing a prophet’s robe and carrying a holy book, approaches the two.

KRISTA
Hold on, Eve.  I don’t think you should do that.

SNAKE
Nigga, ain’t no one ask your skinny white ass what you think. You’re Jewish you don’t even believe in this story.

KRISTA
If you eat it God may kick you out the Garden of Eden.

SNAKE
You gonna listen to this Jew? They the ones who gonna kill Christ.

EVE
I’m going to eat it!

Eve takes a bite out of the apple.

GOD (V.O)
Eve, you ain’t got to go home but you gotta get the fuck on outta here!

EVE

KRISTA
See? If only Eve had listened to me, you Christians wouldn’t be evil, awful, people full of sin but rather evil, awful, people full parent induced self loathing like we Jews. Regardless, this time, this one time, I was wrong. And this time I need to set things right.  So Alix, if you could please come out.

SNOOP DOGG
Greetings loved ones
Lets take a journey

KATY PERRY
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
Will melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

World champion Alix Maria Spezia appears on the entrance stage. After a heavy sigh, she decides to walk down to the ring.

BRANNIGAN
Its taking a lot of heart for Alix to be out here right now.

COACH
And it took a lot of stupidity for Alix to break up with Krista in the first place!

Alix enters the ring and motions for Krista to get on with things.

KRISTA
Alix, I just want to say, I’m, uh….well…um….I’m….hmmm….I don’t know….uh….(Krista looks on the dictionary on her iPhone) Oh! “Sorry”! So that’s what that word means, I’ve never used it before in my life. Alix, I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.  The way I’ve regarded you, and thought about you is wrong and I now know it was hurtful to. And you deserve better than to be called my sidekick, or my lackey, or my underling, or my croney, or my henchmen, or my

ALIX
I get it.

KRISTA
You deserve to be called my girlfriend.

ALIX
Oh Krista, that’s all I’ve ever wanted!

* BZZZZZZT *

Static fills the screen, then cuts to black and white video shot from a hidden camera backstage at HeldDOWN~! with the caption OMG TV at the top left hand corner. We see Krista conversing with Maya and Jade in the Duncan family dressing room.

KRISTA
Let’s be frank.

MAYA
Frank Fontana from Murphy Brown?

KRISTA
How do you even know that show? You were just little angel in heaven begging god for a higher credit card limit when it was on.

JADE
God bless the power of TV LAND.

KRISTA
What I’m saying is that I love your Aunt Alix, but she is very much my sidekick. When we play New Super Mario Bros on the Wii, who’s always Mario and who’s always Luigi? I’m Mario! Always! Do I have a fetish for fat plumbers with mustaches that are too big for their heads? No, I’m just the leader. I’m the queen bee.

MAYA
You're Hulk Hogan, she’s Beefcake.

KRISTA
Seriously, stop making people up. Its getting strange.

KRISTA
Alix is great and wonderful, but she’s just my sidekick, and that’s all there is to it. And she’ll come around to realize it one day. Probably the day she also realizes I pay her cell phone bill, her car note, her car insurance, her health insurance, and her AARP membership. Don’t ask.

OMG!

* BZZZZZZT *

KRISTA


ALIX
Do you think I’m stupid or something?

KRISTA
Am I to answer that question honestly?

ALIX
So not only do you think I’m a sidekick, you think I’m stupid to!

KRISTA
Hey, let’s not speak so ill of being stupid. It landed Bill O’Reily a pretty sweet gig. Being famous and stupid is at least good for a reality show and a spot on Dancing With The Stars, let’s not forget the possibility of being a celebrity judge on Idol...

ALIX
I don’t believe this! You’re such a selfish, awful, evil, meanie! I don’t even know where to start! You’ve always been this way, its always been about Krista, she is king, ruler, queen, president, and emperor of the entire whole wide galaxy! And I put up with it not just because you have really big boobs, but because I loved you. I totally dedicated my heart to you, and I never expected anything in return except love. And I guess I was fooled, because I thought you loved me to.

KRISTA
I do love you.

ALIX
Yeah right, like you love a sale at Neiman’s, or sending an Anthrax mailbomb to the young republican headquarters.

KRISTA
That charge has yet to be proven.

ALIX
You love me like you love those clothes. Because I’m just a simple little possession to you. I’m nothing but a trophy girlfriend to you. A little “f-u” to the establishment, because not only are you a lesbian, but you’ve got a hotter girlfriend than any straight guy could ever dream of. I’m only a possession to you. Whip me out when you’re in the mood, put me away when you’re not. Like a human vibrator! Well, I'm nobody's human vibrator!

KRISTA
What about Taylor Swift?

ALIX
Okay, I'd be her human vibrator. But only her's! You really had me fooled. Because I thought we were equals. I thought we supported each other. I thought we were there for one another.

KRISTA
We are there for one another. When your Uncle Ramone fall asleep in the bondage chair and strangled himself to death, who was there for you to have a shoulder to cry on?

ALIX
Maya.

KRISTA
And when your dad got denied parole because he slung a feces bomb at the warden for denying him his right to stage a prison production of RENT who was there to comfort you?

ALIX
Jade.

KRISTA
And seeing that I gave birth to Jade and Maya, its sort of like it was me. Right?

ALIX
Oh you’re so full of crap, Krista! You can’t even defend yourself, because you have no defense. Everything I’m saying is true and you know it!

KRISTA
I just don’t see what’s so bad about being my sidekick. I mean its not like you’re a sidekick to Reject, who looks like a date rapist, or Todd Cortez, who looks like he might steal your hubcaps. You’re a side kick to a huge celebrity! I’ve got you into the Oscars, the Grammys, the Emmys, blockbuster movie premiers, afterparties some celebs would and have killed their own grandmother to get into, onto late night talk shows, I even got you named Queen of Azerbaijan!

ALIX
I didn’t want any of that! Although that after party where we burned that effigy of  Toby Keith was pretty cool.

KRISTA
Um, that wasn’t an effigy.

ALIX
Oh. Oops. Anyway, I didn’t date you for that! I don’t care what you do for a living, you can be a construction foreman, a teacher, a nurse, a pornstar

KRISTA
My grandmother beat me to that last one.

ALIX
The reason I was with you was because I loved you! And all I ever asked for in return was for you to lemme use your basement as a meth lab and to think of me as an equal. But, you can’t do either of those things! I’m nothing to you!

KRISTA
That isn’t true.

ALIX
Then say we’re equals. Go on and say it. Dog got your tongue?

KRISTA
Uh its Cat got your tongue.

ALIX
Uh, not it isn’t.

KRISTA
Uh, yeah it is.

ALIX
Uh, pretty sure you’re an idiot.

KRISTA
Uh, pretty sure you’re the idiot.

ALIX
I don’t care what it is! You can’t even admit we’re equals, because you don’t believe it. Well, I’m gonna make you believe it.

KRISTA
What do you mean?

ALIX
I talked with Senor Alfredo D. Dogg and he agreed to make you a number one contender to my world title. So, it looks like you’ll be facing me at New Years Spectacular.

KRISTA
Zounds! I’m speechless.

ALIX
Good, it only took fourteen years for that to happen. And we’ve got a tag match tonight against the Moneygang, so ya better get prepared for that!

Alix waves goodbye to a stunned and dejected Krista. As Krista looks on with sad eyes, Alix stomps up the entrance ramp.

BRANNIGAN
How are Alix and Krista going to coexist tonight?

TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT
CHICKS OVER DICKS Vs THE LDC MONEYGANG

COMING UP NEXT
OAO WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES
CAN AM ASSASSINS VS THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS


COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

We come back from break to Michael Buffer

BUFFER
OAOAST Marks, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!

“Like the Angel” by Rise Against hits and two pyro rockets shoot into the air as the CAE high-five onstage.

BUFFER
Introducing first, the challengers… from Edmonton, Alberta Canada… total combined weight 370 pounds... the team of MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

We go to a split screen as footage airs of the CAE’s upset win over the Can-Am Assassins on SYN. In the live shot we see the identical twin sensations rush into the ring and flash their RAWK~! hand sign.

BRANNIGAN
There you see it, ladies and gentlemen. The CAE defeating the Can-Am Assassins on OAOAST Syndicated in a match originally scheduled for the tag team championship. Had the Can-Am Assassins not refused to put the titles on the line we’d have new champions right now.

COACH
And because they didn’t your buddy Alf once again has an excuse to stick it to the Deadly Alliance. It must give him some sick thrill.

“Tom Sawyer“ by Rush cues and the Can-Am Assassins head to the ring.

BUFFER
And their opponents, representing THE DEADLY ALLIANCE… at a total combine weight of 488 pounds, the One & Only World tag team champions… “AFTER HOURS” FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM AAAASSSSAAAASSSSSINNNNSSSS!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The champs hand over their titles and motion for the CAE to bring it.

* DINGDINGDING *

The bell sounds and Strutter takes MEL to the ground right away, only to escape just as quickly. Strutter shoves MARV into the ropes following a headlock and backdrops him.

Or so he thought.

MEL lands on his feet and slams Strutter, then hip tosses him towards the CAE corner where he’s treated like a human pinball machine!

BRANNIGAN
High score: MARV and MEL.

Strutter catches a break when MEL executes a head scissors takeover and thus is able to tag out.  

COACH
Here we go.

Pantera steps in and challenges MEL to a test of strength. MEL accepts and immediately is brought to his knees.

COACH
Pride got the better of MEL that time, Tony B.

BRANNIGAN
You’re exactly right. There aren’t too many men in the world who can match the strength of Ken Pantera.

Pantera looks to stomp MEL’s hands, but MEL pulls them away at the very last second and delivers a jawbreaker, then a spinning heel kick!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

A tag is made and the CAE suplex Pantera, which MARV follows with  a STANDING MOONSAULT and the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

MARV whips Pantera hard into the corner, and then MEL who delivers a flying corner clothesline.

COACH
Come on, ref. Do your job. It’s 2 on 1.

MEL shoves Pantera back towards MARV for an inverted stunner, but Pantera sandbags MARV and slams him overhead onto MEL!

BRANNIGAN
Wow!

Pantera fires MARV in and power slams him.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

MARV is rammed into the knee of Strutter and then, following a tag, planted mid-ring with a trapped arm belly-to-belly.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

SAVE BY MEL!

Strutter gets into a war of words with MEL as Pantera chokes MARV in the corner.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Pantera backs away from MARV the second the ref turns around. A tag follows and Pantera executes a double underhook stall suplex.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Pantera bear hugs MARV and rams him into the buckle, then thrusts his shoulder into the midsection.

Again.

And again.

Pantera scoops MARV overhead for a running power slam, but he slips out and shoves Pantera hard into the corner. The CAE tag and nail Pantera with their patent FLATLINER/ENZIGURI combo!

BRANNIGAN
The Pearly Gates!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

MARV covers Pantera.

COACH
Wait! He’s not the legal man!

BRANNIGAN
How can you tell? They’re identical twins.

The ref can’t tell so he goes ahead and counts.

ONE!

KICKOUT!

MARV and MEL both cover Pantera.

ONE!

TWO!

THR-- NO!

Pantera presses the twins off him.  

BRANNIGAN
What more can you say about the power of Ken Pantera?

Double kick flip hardly has any effect on Pantera, who blocks the ensuing Irish whip attempt and levels both twins with a clothesline.

COACH
Bwahahahaha!

Strutter tags in and delivers a snap suplex.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Strutter signals for a press slam… but MEL floats over and counters a clothesline into a SWINGING BULLDOG!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Unfortunately for the CAE, MEL cannot make the cover since he’s still groggy from Pantera’s clothesline.

COACH
The champs may have caught a break here, T. I’m not sure Felix manages to kick out if MEL had been able to cover him.

MEL crawls to the corner and the OAOAST Galaxy ERUPTS as MARV receives the tag.

BRANNIGAN
This place is going CRAZY~!

MARV employs a hit-and-run strategy as he takes on both Can-Am Assassins. He whips Strutter in for a BAAAAAACK body drop following a DOUBLE COCONUT, but Pantera is quick to answer back with a clubbing forearm smash.

BRANNIGAN
Uh-oh.

COACH
Uh-oh is right. The champs got MARV right where they want him now.

MARV is held for a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK… but he ducks and Strutter accidentally nails Pantera!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Strutter looks on in disbelief, hands on head. He turns back to MARV only to find MEL as well. With a look that says “oh shit” Strutter falls victim to a DOUBLE ACE CRUSHER!!

BRANNIGAN
Will this Happy Ending come with the World tag team titles?

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

SAVE BY PANTERA!

MEL jumps on Pantera and the two roll outside. As they brawl on the arena floor, MARV catches Strutter with a TOP ROPE SUNSET FLIP!

BRANNIGAN
That’s how the CAE defeated the Can-Am Assassins on Syndicated!

COACH
No way these guys catch lighting in a bottle again.

The count.

ONE!

TWO!

THR-- NO, KICKOUT!

BRANNIGAN
We were a half-a-count away from new tag team champions.

Pantera re-enters the picture and the CAA regain control of the bout. They whip MARV in for a double clothesline, but he ducks as MEL reappears and the CAE deliver stereo FRANKENSTEINERS!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

A double kick flip flush to Pantera’s jaw knocks him to the floor, where MEL wipes him out with a suicide dive!

MEL also happens to crash hard against the steel guardrail.

COACH
It looks like Ken Pantera wasn’t the only guy MEL hurt on that move.

BRANNIGAN
That’s why it’s called a suicide dive.

In the ring, MARV slams Strutter and signals for the Phoenix Splash (Moonsault 450) he calls MARVELLOUSITY.

BRANNIGAN
If MARV hits this we’re gonna have new champions.

MARV connects… but with the KNEES of Strutter, who pops up and hits THE THUNDER BAY THROTTLE!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and STILL your One & Only World tag team champions… FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM AAAASSSSAAAASSSSSINNNNSSSS!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The champs are handed their titles and raise their arms in victory.

BRANNIGAN
You gotta hand it to both teams, Coach. They fought hard.

COACH
It was a great match, but the Can-Am Assassins once again proved they are the best tag team in the world today.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Parade Of Charioteers plays to its usual reception of jeers. Emerging from the entrance doors is the noble….


QUEEN ESTHER. At her side are her trusted knights Rico De Janerio and Lucius Soul. The two loyal servants make certain none of the unclean peasants touch Queen Esther as she walks with a great pomp down the ramp.

BRANNIGAN
I had heard rumblings that the Queen was very upset about something and it appears we’re going to hear what that is.

The Queen takes hold of a microphone.

QUEEN ESTHER
Did my ears deceive me? Have my eyes played tricks on me? Has the magic mirror reflected lies back to me? I gazed upon my mirror and asked “mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest queen of them all?” And the mirror responded “Why Queen Maya of course!”

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

QUEEN ESTHER
Oh I just couldn’t believe what I heard it say! If it weren’t for seven years of bad luck I would’ve smashed it against the walls for telling such horrible lies. However, my mirror was not the only one speaking untruthes.  When I turned to father squirrel, and asked him what legionary he serves, he responded “I now serve Queen Maya!”

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

QUEEN ESTHER
Then at noon tea my talking tea kettle refused to pour, saying “I only serve Queen Maya!”

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

QUEEN ESTHER
Heavens me, I nearly launched it across the room in a rage that’s very unlady like! Next I would hear whispers amongst my royal subjects, that there was a new ruler of our fair land. No longer did they serve under my generous and noble reign, now they were united under a flag of a tyrant! Queen Maya!

“MAYA! MAYA! MAYA!”

QUEEN ESTHER
This will not stand! My magic mirror will speak no more lies, my animal friends will befriend no one else, and you all will obey my rule!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

QUEEN ESTHER
I didn’t want to have to do this but I must make an example of one of you so that the rest may learn where there alligence must lie! Rico, fetch me a peasant!

Without waiting for further orders, Rico leaps out the ring. He rushes to the weakest fan he can find, a smallish bald man in an In Crowd t-shirt and then drags him against his will into the ring.

QUEEN ESTHER
You, sir, are accused of treason to kingdom and false idol worship. How do you plead?

FAN
Guilty!

QUEEN ESTHER
Off with his head!


You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

Earning herself a huge reaction from the fans,


MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

QUEEN ESTHER
Its you!

MAYA
Yes its me, Queen Maya. Bow before me humble peasant.

QUEEN ESTHER


MAYA
This is my kingdom now, and I say that man is not to be beheaded. In fact he should be rewarded for being such a loyal subject. So, buddy, you have your pick of rewards, you can either take this simple peasant Esther on a date….

QUEEN ESTHER
I will not date this wretched creature!

MAN
And this bitch’s hair looks like a herpes scar!

MAYA
That’s a new one. Okay for your alternate choice, I guess you can punch Rico in the mouth.

MAN
Yeah!

RICO
Don’t try it, mang.

QUEEN ESTHER
Who in the heavens do you think yourself to be?

MAYA
I’m the Queen Of The Ring.

QUEEN ESTHER
Foolish talk! I am the Queen!

MAYA
Negative. I’m the queen.

QUEEN ESTHER
You are nothing of the sort! You are an immature, petulant, child!

MAYA
Okay let’s look at each other’s qualifications, I beat Sophie, Melissa, and Holly to become Queen. You talked with a rodent and hung around with guys with the intelligence of one! That does not equal queen material, Esther.

QUEEN ESTHER
You have tried my patience for too long, little girl! We shall show you what happens to dissenters! Off with his head!

KONK!

The man falls over, having been bludgeoned with the royal scepter. This infuriates Maya, and she stands on the top of the ramp with a mouth twisted into a frown.

COACH
Shots fired!

BRANNIGAN
Indeed the queens of the OAOAST may be locked into a royal war.

[Tony149]

Backstage we find James Riggs standing in front of a lockeroom full of enhancement talent and OAOVW performers. He looks displeased, as he paces back and forth.

JAMES RIGGS
Alright here I am again, with you losers. But its not your fault that you’re losers. It’s the OAOAST’s fault, they’re the ones to blame because they don’t care about you. Break your arm? Who cares they still have Leon Rodez. Break a leg? Doesn’t matter there’s still Reject. They do not care about you. Get that through your skull, because the sooner you realize it the better off you’ll be. You kids aren’t important to them. You’re just hanging around as cannon fodder for Malaysia to torment and abuse. You think they want to see you advance to the big show? None of them do because that might challenge their establish order.  You might tell me Alexander The Brutal came from OAOVW, Spencer Reiger came from OAOVW, The Last Kings of Scotland came from OAOVW, etc, etc. Those people made it because their talent was too great to ignore. You don’t have that talent! And its not your fault, it’s the OAOAST’s fault because they don’t want to teach you anything because they don’t want you to succeed! But your savoir is here, I’m going to take one of you to the top with me and Anglesault’s crew. And when I get one of you to the top, I’ll comeback for the rest of you.  Anglesault has promised me that under his rule, you’ll all get the fair shake you’ve been yearning for. There weren’t be anymore struggling to impress Alfdogg, or Tony Brannigan, or any other of these so called legends. With Anglesault, your time is now.

STUDENT
You talk a good word, but you don’t do what you’re supposed to do.


A student steps forward.

RIGGS
What?

STUDENT
I didn’t stutter, Jamie, I spoke the clear truth. Every week it’s the same thing with you. That wouldn’t be a problem because I’m all for rallying against the man. But, you’re a pathological liar. With seemingly full on honesty, you tell us you’re going to make us into stars. The OAOAST machine couldn’t do it, but James Riggs can. And every week what happens? You lose the match, and frustrated, you toss your partner into the steel steps and blame him for the loss. Look in the mirror and see who deserves the blame.

Riggs is taken aback at being called out on the carpet. As such its several moments before he speaks.

RIGGS
What is your name, kid?

STUDENT
Pierce Duncan.

Riggs' eyebrows raise in curiosity.

RIGGS
Any relation to…

PIERCE
She’s my elder sister.

Riggs nods as the weight of this revelation settles in.

RIGGS
I get it now. You think just because you’re a Duncan you’re already a star! You think you’re better than me! I had to sweat for fourteen years in this business just to get to this horrible place, and all you had to do was have the right last name! You think that makes you better than me?

PIERCE
Much better than you, actually.

RIGGS
Then I’m choosing you as my partner to take on the Masked Mutants. We’ll see how much of a star you really are.

COMMERCIAL

blasts into the arena as a dingy dumpster is wheeled onto the stage. Crawling out from it are the unusual and freakish duo of Slime and Snot! The pair exit the dumpster and make a blazing dash down the entrance ramp to the ring.

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making their way to the ring from Trenton, New Jersey, they are SNOT AND SLIME, THE MASSSKEDDDDDD MUUUUTTTAAAANTTTTTTSSSSS!

Slime speaks gibberish into the camera, as Snot bounces back and forth on his boots.

BRANNIGAN
Two very unique rookies searching for their first HeldDOWN victory after having found success on Syndicated several times in the past.

Cue::

Stepping out from the parted entrance doors is Anglesault’s lackey James Riggs. The former US Champion wears a scowl on his face as he slowly walks down the entrance stage. However, the attention of the audience belongs to his partner for the night, Pierce Duncan. Krista’s brother steps lively behind Riggs, wearing black bicycle shorts with his initials written in holographic gold letters. Unlike his sister, he’s all business, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck.

BUFFER
And the opponents first from Los Angeles, California, he is PIERCE DUNCAN! And his partner from Huntington Beach, California, he is BAD OL JR JAMES RIGGGGSSSSSSSSS!

Riggs stands atop the second turnbuckle, pumping himself up but doing nothing to endear himself to the crowd.

COACH
How about this, Tony? Krista’s never even mentioned a brother before.

BRANNIGAN
Yet here is. I’m very familiar with the young man. He’s a different breed than his sister. His sole focus is on wrestling, he takes it very serious, and while he may lack her charisma and charm he’s certainly got her skill and killer instinct.  

DING DING DING

Riggs orders Pierce to start the contest against the large Snot.

BRANNIGAN
And here we go, Krista’s little brother at the big show!

Snot fires off a lariat at Pierce. But the OAOVW star ducks the attack, and dropkicks Snot in the back. This forces Snot into the ropes. The cables spit him back, and Pierce takes him off his feet with another dropkick.

BRANNIGAN
This young man certainly has the speed of his elder sister.

Snot rises off the mat under his own willpower and swings an elbow at the Los Angeles native. Pierce blocks the attack with his BOOT and then dropkicks the big man to the ground.

PIERCE
How’s that so far, Jimmy?

Riggs smiles and nods approvingly. He watches as Pierce whips his larger foe into the corner.  Pierce charges in after him, but Snot explodes out the corner with a lariat. Pierce ducks the attack and runs up to the second rope. He smiles at the audience before firing himself backwards with a cross body block that pushes Snot to the ground. Referee Charles Robinson drops down to his knees to make the count…

ONE!


TWO!

Snot pushes Pierce off him. The big man rolls to his feet and trades hands with Pierce.  Having the strength advantage, Snot wins the slug fest. As such he’s able to whip Pierce into the MM corner. Snot runs after him and leaps into the air for a body splash. But Pierce slides out the way and Snot smacks against the corner posts. Snot quickly makes the tag to  Slime The smaller Mutant enters the ring and immediately terrorizes Pierce’s chest with knife edge chops.

“WHOOOOOOOOOOO!”

SLIME
IDHISHWI! QWDIW! WCNKW!

Slime grabs hold of Pierce’s wrist and attempts to throw him into the ropes. But Pierce reverses it and sends Slime into the ropes. When The Mutant returns, Pierce hits him with a big back body drop. Pierce then applies the tag to James Riggs. Riggs gives Pierce a tepid round of applause. Riggs then aims a stomp at Slime’s head. But Slime grabs onto his foot and trips him. He then flips through him for a Jackknife pin…

ONE!


TWO!

A frustrated Riggs kicksout.  He rolls to his feet, where he’s met with a boot to the gut from Slime. The New Jersey native then backs into the ropes, coming back to sunset flip Riggs…

ONE!


TWO!

Again Riggs kicksout. He curses himself for having been forced to do so.  Slime pulls him upright and dazes him with a pair of straight rights. The disturbing superstar then leaps onto the top rope and springboards back to dropkick Riggs in the face. He then proceeds to let out a torrent of insane gibberish.

COACH
What is this fool’s problem?

BRANNIGAN
Like Brett Favre he’s just having fun out there.

Riggs is sent into the rope courtesey of an Irish whip. Slime leapfrogs him on his return, forcing Riggs to take another run of the ropes. This time he comes back wielding a lariat. But Slime catches his outstretched arm and arm drags him over! Riggs quickly scrambles to his feet, only to be thrown back to canvas by a standing flap jack. Slime celebrates by screaming his own special language into the air.

BRANNIGAN
Riggs is not faring too well in this contest. He needs to assert his size advantage over Slime.

That size advantage quickly goes away as Snot is tagged into the contest. Riggs tries to get an early jump on Snot, and attacks him with clubbing forearms. But Snot shrugs these blows off and returns fire with devastating right hooks. He then picks Riggs off the ground and executes a press slam. The crowd marvels at his strength, as Slime recities gibberish on the outside.

COACH
Seriously, what’s Slime’s deal? Is he like a special ed exchange student?

Riggs is brought off the canvas  and thrown into the corner. He’s flattened by a body splash from his larger rival, and stumbles towards the center of the ring. Left defense, he’s easily able to be clothesline to the ground by Snot. A pinfall is then made…

ONE!


TWO!


Riggs barely kicksout before the three count.

BRANNIGAN
Given the circumstances it might be wise for Riggs to apply the tag to Pierce.

COACH
Riggs isn’t used to having a competent partner, so he probably feels he has to do it all himself.

Snot mounts Riggs and begins pummeling him with powerful punches. He then scrapes Riggs off the canvas and attacks his skull with viscious headbutts. Riggs stumbles backwards, unable to protect himself. As such he’s leveled by the diving lariat Snot strikes him with. Another pinfall is made…

ONE!


TWO!


Kickout!

Snot grabs Riggs by his stringy blond hair and guides him into the corner. There he slams Riggs’ face into the top turnbuckle, causing him an incredible amount of pain. But not enough pain  that Riggs can’t elbow Snot away from him.  Riggs then elevates onto the second rope and launches himself at Snot with a cross body block. But the big man catches hold of him and turns the attack into a Powerslam! Robinson counts the pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!

Riggs pop out the pinfall. He’s brought to his feet by Snot and shoved into the ropes. The cables bounce him back towards a lariat! But he rolls beneath the attack and pops up to make the tag with Pierce!

BRANNIGAN
A smart and necessary move by James Riggs to tag in Pierce Duncan.

Pierce runs into the ring, to meet a raised boot from Snot.  He ducks the lifted leg, and speeds into the ropes. Bouncing back Pierce takes Snot off his feet with flying forearm! Slime rushes into the ring and leaps onto Pierce’s shoulders. But Pierce counters any hurricanrana attempt with a powerbomb.

BRANNIGAN
Big time move from Pierce and a smart way to counter Slime’s attack.

Pierce is clubbed away from Slime by Snot. The big man picks Pierce up by the hair and chucks him into the corner. He builds up steam and runs after Pierce. But the Los Angeles native raises his boot and Snot crashes into it . Pierce then charges forward and takes Slime down with a leg lariat! A pinfall then follows….

ONE!

TWO!

Slime breaks up the pinfall! He grabs Pierce and brings him upright. The two men trade blows with Slime getting a surprising upperhand. He runs to the ropes, bouncing back at top speed. But Pierce cuts him down with a beautiful dropkick!

COACH
This boy got skills!

Snot comes charging at Pierce with a lariat. However, Pierce ducks the attack and Snot runs the ropes.  The cables spew him back directly into a boot by Pierce. Krista's brother hooks onto Snot's shoulders and swings him around for the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_dEzFrG1xE!

BRANNIGAN
Big time move!

Pierce hooks Snot’s legs for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!



THREE!


DING DING DING

BUFFER
Your winners as a result of a pinfall…PIERCE DUNCAN AND JAMES RIGGS!

Pierce raises his arms in victory, as a smile spreads across his face. Elsewhere Riggs applauds and nods with smug satisfaction.

BRANNIGAN
Tonight Pierce Duncan has followed his sister’s lead in nailing down a decisive victory, this one coming against The Masked Mutants.

Riggs is granted a microphone by a ringside attendant

RIGGS
Every time I have one of you out here with me the match ends with a loss, and I end up launching one of you right into the steps. No less than you deserve! But this time? This time is different. Its different because we actually won, and you, kid, you got the deciding pinfall. That makes you okay in my book. If you’re okay in my book, you’re okay in Anglesault’s book. I think I speak on the behalf of the founder when I say welcome to the family.

Riggs smiles broadly and offers his hand to Pierce. Krista’s brother at first regards it with skepticism, but soon realizes how wise it would be to accept Riggs’ hand. Thus he grabs it and gives it a firm shake.

COACH
Anglesault’s added a new soldier to the army and he’s a Duncan!

BRANNIGAN
Does Riggs even have the authority to make that kind of move?

COACH
Sure he does! He’s part of the family. I wouldn't be surprised if Anglesault sent Riggs to take on Malibu one on one. Wouldn't be surprised at all.

BRANNIGAN
I would! Fans, little brother may have picked up his first victory tonight, but will big sister pick up her latest victory in our mainevent? Stay tuned!

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Backstage in the spacious and well decorated Enterprise dressing room...


COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR

AND



SPENCER REIGER discuss things.

CMJ
Heh, this is fhackin great, Spencah, a chance to smash COD and become number one contendahs to the tag team championship.

REIGER
About that….

CMJ
About what?

REIGER
I can’t exactly go out there tonight.

CMJ
You gotta be shittin’ me, Spencah. This is big, this is real big. Those bitches have been givin’ us fits for two years and yer just crahppin out on me?

REIGER
I have a pretty good excuse!

CMJ
I’m waitin’ to hear it.

REIGER
Well, you see…my….uh…..I….have…uh, cancer,  of the uh….ovaries.

CMJ
Cancah? You serious? Son of a bitch!

REIGER
Just found out today.

CMJ
Today? Ah shit, man, I’m sorry.

REIGER
Yeah. Cancer of them ovaries.

CMJ
I gotta have my ovaries looked at!

REIGER
Everyman should have his ovaries looked at. Just wish I had sooner. Could have saved myself a lot of heart ache.

CMJ
I know yer gonna pull through this, pardnah.

CMJ nods thoughtfully, offering his ill friend a respectful moment of silence.

[Tony149]

Meanwhile backstage, we find the members of the Cucaracha Kingdom outside the arena in the parking lot, stood in a circle around a roaring fire. Hands cover mouths, protecting them from the fumes as they watch members of the production crew throwing TAPES onto the fire.

KING LANDON
BURN THEM! BURN THEM ALL, I WANT THEM ALL GONE!

QUEEN ESTHER
BEGONE! BEGONE!

The production guys continue to shovel tape and cassettes onto the fire, barked at by the King and Queen all the while.

BRANNIGAN
Looks like the King's night to forget really is a night he wants to erase from all memory! But has the taste of shoe polish disappeared as quickly? We'll hear from the King, next!

COACH
BURN THOSE TAPES! COME ON, FASTER!


*COMMERCIAL*


The regal trumpets of "Parade Of The Charioteers" play through the arena and together the Cucaracha Kingdom march to the ring. Out in front, an unhappy King and Queen. And behind, the ranks of the Kingdom, not much happier but slightly less embarrassed perhaps. The arena cameras add to the King's misery by picking out signs mocking the King and his feet kissing at November Reign as he climbs grumpily into the ring.

KING LANDON
Enough! Enough!

The music dies down and just the sound of the booing, laughing crowd fills the air.

KING LANDON
As your King... I move that the events of November 28th be stricken from the record!

BRANNIGAN
Wait, is he a King now or a Judge? What the hell?

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

KING LANDON
You will not mock me!

The crowd continue mocking Landon, upsetting the poor Queen.

KING LANDON
What happened at November Reign will never be spoken of again. As far as I am concerned, within the four walls of my Kingdom, that night never happened. I will never be humiliated. My reign as King will never be questioned. And you will never make light of me. I am the King of the Ring! This ring is my Kingdom! And what I say goes within these ropes!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

KING LANDON
Now, with that said... although, technically, November Reign and all of that never happened... that doesn't mean I'm not still disappointed. Disappointed in all of you.

Suddenly the King rounds on his Kingdom and the accusing finger is pointed their way.

KING LANDON
You let me down. All of you! You let your King down and that cannot stand! I am the King and I will not tolerate losers. Failures. Fools and mistakes. None of this would have happened if you'd followed my lead. And yet you abandoned me. You all left me to fend for myself, two on one, outnumbered by those Europeans! Against insurmountable odds I fought but it wasn't enough. My best, most noble efforts came up marginally short. By I don't blame myself. I blame you. I put together a team and that team quite frankly wasn't good enough. You weren't good enough.

As the King paces around, his Kingdom don't look too happy at being accused, except for James Blonde who is stricken with remorse of course.

KING LANDON
It leads me to wonder if I'd be better off without you.

BRANNIGAN
I thought that was the problem in the first place?

COACH
Would you quit interrupting? You know what happens when you interrupt a King? You get beheaded, or some junk!

KING LANDON
You all, to a man, need to redeem yourselves in my eyes. And in the eyes of the Queen. You let me down, you let her down, you let your Kingdom down. And I will not forgive any of you, until you have shown me that you're capable of leading this Kingdom to victory again. Starting tonight, you'd better start making it up to me.

The King produces SCROLLS from inside his robe.

KING LANDON
I sent the word to President Alfdogg, the proclaimation. Four open contracts. Signed by members of the OAOAST locker room. Should you win these matches I've set up for you... as a forgiving leader, I will welcome you back into the Kingdom. However! If you should lose and fail me, again... then you will be GONE!

COACH
Whoa!

BRANNIGAN
Really?

As the Kingdom take in the news, Blonde sheepishly raises his hand.

BLONDE
Erm, King Landon... there are five of us.

KING LANDON
Yes. Rico and Lucius will be competing in a tag team match. Tonight.

Rico and Lucius react to this, but James is still confused.

BLONDE
Err... what about me and Faqu?

KING LANDON
I want to judge you two individually. No hiding behind tag team partners.

Not liking the sounds of that, Blonde begins to fret over his match...


...when suddenly, the Kingdom is interrupted by MEGAN SKYE walking out onto the stage.

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

BRANNIGAN
Uh oh.

Megan shakes her head at what she's seeing and laughs to herself.

MEGAN
Really, Landon?

KING LANDON
It's King Landon!

Shrugging, Megan doesn't seem too concerned either way, annoying the King.

MEGAN
Look, I'm sorry you're taking all of this so hard. But, come on. All this over one kiss, on one foot?

QUEEN ESTHER
THAT NEVER HAPPENED!

KING LANDON
(settling Queen Esther)
Alright, calm down, calm down. Easy. (to Megan) That never happened!

Megan chuckles to herself again.

MEGAN
What, you mean this?

Pointing up, Megan reveals a picture of King Landon in mid-stoop, lips puckered, from November Reign and the King proceeds to flip out.

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

MEGAN
Turns out, you can't burn Google images.

KING LANDON
TAKE THAT DOWN! TAKE IT DOWN, NOW! I ORDER YOU TO...

MEGAN
Landon, Landon, enough. You're embarrassing yourself. Again.

The King continues to rant off-mic as the Queen tries to recover from her horror.

KING LANDON
You're loving this, aren't you? You vindictive little wench... you harlot!

MEGAN
Oh, get a grip already.

KING LANDON


MEGAN
You know, I didn't make you say you'd be nothing without me to make my ego feel better. I did it to try and make you see what an idiot you've been. What you don't seem to realise, or be willing to admit, is when you started your little Kingdom with your pretty little Queen, you ditched the only person in this world who was telling you when you came up with stupid ideas.

Protesting that he never has stupid ideas, Landon is told to pipe down.

MEGAN
That's your problem, Landon. You've always had ideas of grandeur. And I was the one who always reigned you back. If you dreamt one night you could climb to the moon on a rope ladder... you'd probably wake up the next morning and try it! And I'd be the one to tell you how stupid you were. I don't want all the credit. I'm not vainglorious, like you. Frankly, I don't care. But, it does give me some satisfaction to see you fall flat on your smug face.

The King pouts a bit.

MEGAN
I know you better than you know yourself, Landon. And I'm sure right now you're thinking "what is she talking about, I'm still awesome". Right? Ask yourself something Landon. Who's fault is it that you got humiliated at November Reign? Was it mine? Or was it the person who came up with the pompous foot-kissing stipulation in the first place? Was it my fault your team lost? Or was it the shambles you made of actually picking a team? I'm pretty sure that if you suggested having Rico and Lucius fighting in the same match, for just one guaranteed spot on the team... I'd have told you it was a stupid idea. And if you suggested having James win a match to qualify and having people not on the team around the ring, with their own agendas... I'd have told you that was stupid as well.

Hands on hips, the King refuses to listen to reason and just shakes his head petulently.

MEGAN
You know you can blame me all you want. You can kick up a stink and call me all your medieval bad names, that you probably don't even know the meaning of and only looked up because you've got a crown and think that's how Kings are supposed to talk. But, Landon... you've only got yourself to blame. And if you're too proud and too stupid to see that... then, hey, at least we all get a laugh at your expense.

With a curt wave goodbye Megan turns and leaves, to cheers, infuriating the King even more. Not sure of where to direct it, he ends up turning to Rico and Lucius and aims at them.

KING LANDON
You two! Your match is next! Don't screw up again... come on Esther!

And with that King Landon storms off in a royal tantrum, followed by the rest of his Kingdom, all except Rico and Lucius who have to get their heads around being flung into a match!

BRANNIGAN
I think the King just, as the kids say, "got told".

COACH
No he didn't. Shut up.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

After the break, just two members of the Cucaracha Kingdom remain in the ring. And they don't look too happy. Rico crouches down watching the stage carefully, with Lucius pacing around behind him.

BRANNIGAN
Welcome back and it's a crucial match facing the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club here tonight. They have to win, or they're out of the Cucaracha Kingdom! And they don't even know who they're facing!

COACH
Well you and Megan can talk all you want about bad leadership, but I ain't gonna hear it now. This is tough love. The Kingdom's been letting their King down. It's time to redeem yourselves.

Rico and Lucius's wait lasts a few more unsure seconds...


HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!

...before finally their opponents make themselves known,

by Family Force 5 firing up! Bounding out onto the stage The Doctors Of Love, Pigley and Anderson, strip away their long white doctors coats and delight the crowd before making their way to the ring.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen this contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois! Total combined weight, four hundred and thirty five pounds... DR. STEVEN PIGLEY and DR. MAX ANDERSON... THE LLLLOOOOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEE DDOOOOOOOOOOCCTTOOOOORRRRRSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Pigley and Anderson leap into the ring and as they play to the fans, Lucius and Rico are in fevered conversation.

BRANNIGAN
I don't care what you say Coach, King Landon is taking a huge risk here. He's completely sprung this match on Rico and Lucius, they've had literally no time to prepare. And what happens if all of Landon's Kingdom lose their matches? We could see a seriously weakened Kingdom!

COACH
Or, we could see a Kingdom that's stronger than ever.

Trying to get themselves together Rico and Lucius decide on Lucius to start, but clearly don't look right.


*DINGDINGDING*

Dr. Pigley starts for The Docs and catches a distracted Lucius walking towards him with a Japanese armdrag! Back up, Lucius gets thrown with another armdrag! And a third one, sending him out for cover! Lucius calls for a timeout from the apron, berated by Rico for not paying attention.

BRANNIGAN
And already we've got in-fighting between the Hellfire Club. The pressure may be getting to them.

Busy arguing with Rico, Lucius doesn't notice Dr. Pigley grabbing the top rope and launching him back into the ring the HARD~! way! Lucius gets up begging, but Pigley fires away with some right hands. Tagging Dr. Anderson, Pigley whips Lucius across and leapfrogs, sending Lucius into the path of a back elbow. Cover...


1...


2...


No.

Anderson puts on a side headlock and Rico paces the apron.

COACH
These guys need to pull themselves together. This is a test. And they better not fail.

Getting to his feet, Lucius fights out of the headlock and RAKES the eyes! With Anderson temporarily blinded, The Black Knight hits the ropes. But Anderson ducks a running kick and comes off the ropes with a flying shoulder block! Cover...


1...


2...


No.

Anderson kicks at Lucius, then tags in Pigley. Double irish whip sends Lucius off, for a double back elbow. With a leg each, the Doctors roll Lucius back to his feet, Pigley coming off the ropes and getting launched in the air by Anderson, to nail Lucius with a dropkick! Another pin is made and Rico looks anxious...


1...


2...


No!

BRANNIGAN
Lucius struggling here. And no signs of any help from Rico.

COACH
He's not the legal man! A brother follows the rules and you gotta start reading into it?

Backing into a corner Lucius is caught up to by Pigley, nailed with right hands. Irish whip is reversed and Lucius tries a charge, but runs into a boot. Pigley then hits the ropes, but Lucius recovers and connects with a dropkick!

COACH
There we go! You back these guys against a wall and they come out fighting!

BRANNIGAN
Eventually.

Tag is made and Rico finally enters the match. He takes too long following up however and as he goes to pick Dr. Pigley up, he gets caught with an inside cradle!

COACH
Whoa whoa!


1...


2...


No!

BRANNIGAN
That could have been goodnight to the Knights!

Rico tries to cut Pigley off with a clothesline, but the Doc ducks and dives to tag in Dr. Anderson. Anderson comes in firing, backing Rico up with forearms. Off the ropes, Anderson ducks a clothesline. But as he tries to come back from the other side he gets tangled up, grabbed from the outside by Lucius! The Black Knight holds Anderson for the White one, who tries a big knee... but Anderson moves and Rico ends up knocking Lucius off the apron!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
No no no!

Distracted, Rico gets rolled up...


1...



2...



NO!

BRANNIGAN
Oh man, that was close!

COACH
This isn't what the King planned at all. These two are turning from knights into jesters!

Anderson catches a still reeling Rico with a couple of punches. Backing Rico up, Dr. Max then sends the Brazilian off and ducks his head, ready for the patented Anderson Spinebuster. Putting on the brakes, Rico counters, pulling Anderson in and lifting him up over his shoulder... but Anderson wriggles free of the Moustache Ride. Pulling out a mule kick to double Rico up, the good doctor hits the ropes again. Rico drops down, forcing Anderson up and over. And into the path of a TRIP from the outside!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Foot taken out by Lucius, Anderson hits the mat face-first. Relief turns to anger for the Hellfire Club, who look at each other and decide enough is enough. Seconds later, Dr. Pigley is sent flying by Rico.

BRANNIGAN
I think Rico and Lucius finally got a wake-up call.

Making a tag, Rico hooks up Dr. Max's legs, setting him for a slingshot... which sends him right into a BICYCLE KICK from Lucius!!

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

BRANNIGAN
Finally, a little cohesion on the part of the Hellfire Club.

COACH
What did I tell you? Rico and Lucius are finally starting to pass the royal test.

Lucius picks Anderson back up, slapping him around a bit in some pent-up frustration. Soul then butterflies the arms, flipping Dr. Anderson up into a backbreaker! Another tag then brings Rico in to drop the Porno 'Stache Legdrop...


1...



2...



Kickout!

BRANNIGAN
Only two but I don't think Rico is phased.

Dragging Anderson to his feet, Rico hoists him up and makes him wait before delivering a Shoulderbreaker! Another cover...


1...



2...


Broken up by Pigley!

Lucius is quickly in to even the odds though and tosses Pigley to the outside, landing with a hard THUD on the arena floor. Meanwhile, Rico hooks up Max and calls Lucius over. And back on the same page the Hellfire Club set Anderson up for the Coup de Mardi Gras, Rico sending him over with the suplex and Lucius bringing him down with the sitout powerbomb! Lucius stands guard as Rico hooks the leg...


1...



2...



3!!!!

*DINGDINGDING*

BRANNIGAN
And that'll do it, salvation for the Hellfire Club.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... RICO DE JANEIRO and LUCIUS SOUL, THE MARDI GRAS HHEEELLLFFIIIRRRREEE CCLLLLUUUUUUUBB!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

After a brief staredown between the two partner, a handshake settles the tension between Rico and Lucius and they laugh it up having saved their place in the Cucaracha Kingdom.

COACH
Haha! Just like I told you Brannigan. Unity has been restored to the Kingdom! All hail King Landon and his amazing leadership qualities!

BRANNIGAN
Well the Hellfire Club have kept their place in the Kingdom and I'm sure somewhere, King Landon is pleased at what he saw. Rico and Lucius, seemingly back on the same page. However there are still three members of the Cucaracha Kingdom he wants to prove themselves and that's three more chances to lose allies.

Rico and Lucius leave well and truly alligned though, all well in the Hellfire Club again and one problem solved for the King.

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

"Medal" brings the expected sounds of hatred out of the crowd, as the theme song and subsequent appearance of the company founder Anglesault is never a good sign. Flanked as usual by his Chosen Few of Bohemoth, Todd Cortez, and Jason Silver, they head to the ring, where they are soon joined by supporters Tango Bosley, CPA, and James Riggs. It's also not long before Anglesault has a mic in his hand, and he appears rather jovial this evening, likely due to the horrific footage we saw earlier.

ANGLESAULT
Zack, did you think it was going to be easy? Did you think it would work out like it does in the movies? The good guy, the superhero, making his grand return in the 11th hour to save the day for everyone involved? Is that what you thought you got last week at November Reign when you ran into the ring? Did you think that you had finally beaten me when you revealed that you sold your company stock that I gave you...GAVE YOU, Zack? If that's what you thought then you're stupider than you look, because this is not some child's fairy tale. Just because you coming back as the savior is your version of reality, that does not mean it IS reality! In fact, Zack, it's rather cliche'.

Anglesault's boys have a good laugh at the expense of Zack, and talk amongst themselves as the founder continues.

ANGLESAULT
I mean, Zack, did you really think it would be so simple? That you could just come back in here and walk around unscathed? Did you think last week that fear set in? That your scrawny, preppy ass magically became intimidating to me? No, Zack. For once, I was interested in what you had to say. I was interested in listening to how you'd spin it to favor yourself, and bravo, you succeeded. You're entirely too predictable, Malibu, but I don't go for that. That's why tonight, we weren't going to wait until HeldDOWN~! started. I'm not about to drag this out week in and week out, with ridiculous banter and ego stroking. This is a BLOOD WAR, Zack. This is MY company, and you are simply the guest that doesn't know when to leave. The men surrounding me don't want you here. I certainly don't want you here. These people...well, what I can I say...they're easily misled, but they'll learn. Because when they don't get their happy ending...when they realize that the hero dies in this one, they'll realize the gravity of the situation. They'll...

The crowd starts stirring, as down the ramp, still in his street clothes and with a blood stained bandage wrapped around his forehead, is ZACK MALIBU!

ANGLESAULT
Are you kidding me? You can't leave well enough alone, can you? Does the spotlight always have to be on you?!?!? Perhaps Mr. Cortez would like to finish the job after the rest of these men get their well-deserved licks in.

Zack stops about halfway down the ramp, pausing to reflect on Anglesault's threat. Zack turns and looks back to the locker room, and to a raucous ovation comes the OCC, Denzel Spencer, and D*LUX! With the sides now even, Zack and company storm the ring, and everyone pairs off, brawling with each other...except for Anglesault, who darts out of the ring and goes and hides behind Sofa Central! Zack hops out of the ring and goes for Anglesault first, but Cortez follows Zack out, nailing him from behind for the second time tonight! With Zack on the floor, Cortez rips the bandage off and hammers on the cut, causing blood to spill out again, as the rest of Zack's backup and Anglesault's contingent brawl in the ring!

TONY
All hell has broken loose here on HeldDOWN~! Anglesault said we weren't going to get verbal back and forths...we're getting an all out war!

It's a pier six until security comes rushing out, sliding into the ring and doing their best to separate people. On the floor, Cortez is led off of Zack by security, which angers Anglesault enough to shove the security and tell them to keep their hands off of Cortez. Security helps a groggy Zack up, and while he's being held back by security, Cortez spits right in Zack's bloodied face, causing security to usher him away a bit more aggressively.

COACH
Its' PanDAMNmonium, emphasis on the DAMN~!

TONY
We knew Zack wouldn't go down without a fight, and it's good to know that not everyone has been swayed by Anglesault. Even still, Zack has been out of the ring for a long time now, and that pride may have gotten the better of him tonight, as Todd Cortez has drawn blood not once, but twice!

With things settling down, security helps Zack away, and his friends come to check on him. Anglesault and his crew can only laugh as they stand at the top of the ramp, watching the sight of Zack Malibu dripping blood across the arena floor as he walks off.

[Tony149]

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL, WITH:
D*LUX

Shayne and Tyler, in casual dress, are sat with an interviewer off-screen at an OAOAST recording studio. Generic music plays quietly in the background over the excerpts of the interview.

SHAYNE
Everybody's been asking why me and Tyler got involved with this Anglesault situation at November Reign. We just wanna do the right thing, you know. This company means a lot to us. And we know who's got it's best interests and who hasn't.

Clips from January play, of Tyler eliminating Bohemoth from the Lethal Rumble with a considerable assist from Zack Malibu, then Bohemoth's subsquent attack on HeldDOWN

TYLER
I know all about what those guys are capable of. People forget, I've been there. I've been on the end of Bohemoth. He used to be cool, kinda like a few guys we know around here, he let things get to his head. So yeah, I guess I've still got a bit of an unsettled score. But it's not about me. It's about this company.

Clips of Tyler and Shayne in action, hitting some of their patented double teams

TYLER
You know, we hear it when people call us "the best tag team to have never held the OAOAST Tag Team Titles". And that's not how we want to go out. That doesn't feel like a compliment to us.

More clips from earlier this year, this time some of the defeats at the hands of The Enterprise, Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker

SHAYNE
It's been a tough year, ya know. A lot of things haven't gone the way we hoped. And... yeah, it kinda gets to you, man. We're competitors, deep down. We want to be successful. We're not greedy or obsessed about it like some guys round here are... but, for sure, we wanna show the world what we can do.

Clips of various D*LUX entrances, with Maya and Jade accompanying Tyler and Shayne to the ring and cheering them on during matches

TYLER
We owe a lot to Jade and to Maya. But we have to prove something to ourselves. Ever since we've been here we've been able to fall back on Jade, or Maya, or Leon, or Alix, or Krista, or whoever. We know if we want to make it, sooner or later we've got to stand on our own two feet. We can't keep relying on other people to help us out. We've got to help ourselves as well. This is an us thing, man. We've done a lot of soul-searching between us and we both feel the same way about how our careers are going and where we want them to be.

More clips of D*LUX in action

TYLER
It's time to get serious, man.

SHAYNE
Definately.

TYLER
We've sat down and talked this over so many times I've lost count. It's time for us to take that next step. I know everybody sees me and Shayne as pretty boys, but we're determined to live up to our potential. So we're getting our heads on straight and we're coming after those tag team titles, 1000% like you've never seen.

SHAYNE
You're gonna see a whole new D*LUX real soon. We've still got mad love for our fans and we're not gonna let them down anymore. 2011, we're gonna make it happen.

COMING UP NEXT
YOUR MAINEVENT!
CHICKS OVER DICKS Vs COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR AND CHRISTIAN WRIGHT!

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

Dropkick Murphy's highly popular “I'm Shipping Up To Boston” booms out the speakers and signals the arrival of Colin Maguire Junior. Dressed in hunter green tights, and yellow boots and knee pads, the Bostonian jumps up and down to psyche himself up for the contest. At his side is Lorelei DeCenzo, dressed to stop traffic in a low cut white evening gown. Slowly trickling out from the backstage area with breifcase in hand is Christian Wright. Lorelei hooks arms with both her clients, and guides them to ringside

BUFFER
The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of thirty minutes! Now making their way to the ring, introducing first, from Boston, Massachusetts, he is COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR! And his partner, now residing in Washington DC, he is THE GOD CHILD CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, they are THE ENTERRRPRIIISSSSEEEEE!

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

BRANNIGAN
Spencer Reiger has mysteriously pulled out this contest, and I'd like to know why.

COACH
He told us why. He has ovarian cancer.

BRANNIGAN
I wonder about you Coach, I really do. Regardless, Colin has found himself a more than suitable partner in stablemate Christian Wright. However, Wright's track record against Chicks Over Dicks is poor, losing every match he's ever had with them and often being humiliated beyond belief in the process.

COACH
That was The Natural Christian Wright, this The God Child Christian Wright. You don't just son the son of god.

Wright and Colin discuss a strategy which amounts to “try to avoid getting embarrassed”

BRANNIGAN
What's usually an unstoppable team in Alix and Krista may be very vulnerable due to extreme relationship problems. But it won't be The LDC Moneygang capitalizing, due to Reiger's mysterious refusal to compete.

Hey, hey, you, you
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend!
Hey, hey, you, you!
I know that you like me!
No way, no way!
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you!!
I want to be your girlfriend!

Massive, volcanic eruptions of cheers come from every inch of the arena in celebration of COD's arrival. But the joy is tempered somewhat when only one member of the six time tag team champions, Krista Isadora Duncan, appears.  Krista tries to play it off like nothing is wrong, running her hands up her much lusted after body, flicking her hair, and then heading to the ring.

BUFFER
And their opponents....She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former three time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!

BRANNIGAN
There's Krista, but there's no sign of the world champion Alix Maria Spezia. Is she entering separate? Is she entering at all?

Krista delights viewers across the globe with a dazzling display of her beautiful legs as she hangs upside down on the ropes. After pulling herself up, she looks out to the entrance stage for signs of Alix. Yet, her (ex)girlfriend is nowhere to be seen.

BRANNIGAN
It may be like Spencer Reiger to back out a fight, but its not like Alix.

DING DING DING

CMJ wastes no time in waiting for Alix’s arrival and storms across the ring. Krista notices his arrival at the last second and flourishes with a spinning wheel kick! She then scrapes CMJ off the canvas and attempts an irish whip. But the Boston native reverses the hold. However Krista reverses that hold and brings CMJ in for a short arm KIDology!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

However she can perform no celebrations as CW charges across the ring at her. Krista is well prepared for his arrival and upends him with a hip toss.

KRISTA
You looked shocked, Christian. Did you not expect me to notice a two hundred thirty pound man coming out from miles away? If I were Theodore Moneymaker I’d trade you for a bag of shit then treat myself to a pizza and a prostitute and feel happy I got the better side of the deal.

Krista turns to Lorelei DeCenzo and waves with a sarcasticly sweet smile.

LORELEI
Don’t you dare smile at me, you disgusting bitch!

KRISTA
Oh, harsh words, I’m surprised you’re talking, I guess your new muzzle didn’t fit.

Much to Lorelei’s delight, Krista is attacked by CW. He batters her in the corner with overhand rights before whipping her across the ring. He follows in after her with a shoulder charge to her toned midsection. Stumbling out the conrer, Krista doesn’t see the tag made to CMJ. However, the boos clue her into something being wrong, and for that reason she’s able to superkick CMJ as he comes off the top rope with an axe handle smash! This does not sit well with Wright, and he boucnes off the ropes to attack Krista. But Krista ducks low and upends him over the ropes, much to fans’ glee! Their cheers are tempered severly, however, when Colin lariats the former world champion over the top rope.

BRANNIGAN
Colin just caught Krista entirely by surprise.

COACH
You know what else caught her by surprise? The cowardice of Alix Maria Spezia.

BRANNIGAN
I’m sure Alix has a good reason to not be out here.

With Krista prone on the floor, Lorelei gets her kicks in. She smiles in satisfaction and then orders Colin to do away with Miss California. CMJ drags her off the floor mats and hauls her all the way over to the announce table. But Krista suddenly comes alive and slams his face into the structure.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Krista then intercepts Wright’s attack and throws him face first into the steel steps!

BRANNIGAN
These odds don’t seem so impossible now.

COACH
Wait until The Enterprise gets warmed up, T-Bod. It will be their match to lose and they’ll owe an assist to Alix.

Krista turns around and is slugged in the jaw by Colin. The Boston Native hits her with several more strikes before sending her into the guardrail. There Krista is given a can of SPINACH by a helpful audience member.

KRISTA
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man. I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.  I'm strong to the finich, cause I eats me spinach.  I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!

With that flashback to the 50’s Krista rumbles forward and nails Colin in the face with a high knee.  Wright responds by surging ahead and cutting her down with a lariat.

BRANNIGAN
That’s the disadvantage of a handicap match. You can never get momentum going.

COACH
All thanks to Alix and her selfish ways.

At Lorelei’s request, CW and CMJ begin pumping boots into Krista’s head. Lorelei gets so vehement that she has be to restrained by referee Earl Hebner. Behind his back, Wright and CMJ lift Krista up and drop her face first onto the announce table.  Upon seeing this, Lorelei claps in delight and urges them to pursue further action.

“LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!”

CMJ rolls Miss California into the ring where he pounces upon her with stomps.  Despite the continued attacks, she manages to gain her footing. This doesn’t seem to bother Colin, who merely traps her inside a rear waistlock.

COACH
CMJ has gotta be setting up for the Irish Suplex!

But the luck of the Irish isn’t on the Irish kid’s side as Krista flips out the hold.  Colin doesn’t realize this and raises his arms in celebration.

COACH
Turn around, Colin!

Colin does just that and gets floored with a side effect!

BRANNIGAN
Colin just found out Blonds Never Pay a Cover!

Krista hooks onto Colin’s legs for a pinfall…

ONE!


TWO!


CW breaks up the count with a loafer to Krista’s head. This greatly annoys Miss California and she attacks The God Child with forearms. Wright shoves her away as though she were as small as flea, then readies up a superkick. But the second he throws it, Krista ducks out the way and the kick connects with Colin’s chin!

COACH and LORELEI
Oh no!

Krista swats CW in the face and then takes off to the ropes. Coming back she slides into him, expecting to clip him around the legs. But CW grabs onto her tanned legs and readies himself to hit her with a wheel barrow suplex. But Krista has other ideas…

KRISTA


“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

WRIGHT


“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

WRIGHT


CW’s incredible humiliation over his "upstanding citizen" is Krista’s gain as she’s able to push herself into the air for a wheel barrow suplex.  But at the height of her leap, Colin grabs onto her legs and slams her into the canvas!

BRANNIGAN
There’s the advantage of having an extra partner.

COACH
Which he wouldn’t even have had if Alix weren’t so petty and vindictive.

Colin goes to the second rope, and motions for Krista to get off the canvas. When she does, he flies forward and takes her down with a lariat. A pinfall is then made…

ONE!



TWO!


Kickout!

CMJ retreats to his corner and tags Wright into the contest. The God Child heads to top turnbuckle rather than enter the ring. He makes the much maligned moneyfingers hand gesture, earning a wealth of jeers. Once that’s done, he leaps off the post and nails a frog splash onto Krista!

BRANNIGAN
That was big time impact!

COACH
And the only reason Krista had to lie there, was because Alix wasn’t there to pull her out the way!

Hebner drops into position to count the fall…

ONE!



TWO!


Kickout!

Wright decides he’s put in enough effort for the night, and backs into the corner to tag in CMJ.

“RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK! RED SOX SUCK!” the fans chant at the diehard “Sawks” fan.

Annoyed with the fans’ comments, CMJ takes his frustrations out on Krista with stomps. He then picks her up, expecting to hammer her some more. But Krista comes alive with forearms and stuns the two time tag champ. Miss California then takes off to the ropes. But as she returns she’s thrown overhead by the Harvard Plex (T-Bone suplex)

BRANNIGAN
Now is the exact moment for Krista to tag out but there’s no one to tag out to.

CMJ grabs hold of Krista’s right leg and a pinfall is made…

ONE!



TWO!

Krista gets her shoulder off the canvas.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The tag is made to The God Child.  Entering the ring, he grabs Krista by her halter top and brings her off the canvas. She’s forced into a front facelock, and then lifted in the air in set up of the Stockmarket Crash. But Krista quickly knees her way out of the hold. Wright shakes off the pain of her attacks, and dashes to her. He’s taken off his feet by a leaping heel kick from Krista!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Krista, however, isn’t able to captalize on the attack, worn down by exhaustion.

BRANNIGAN
Krista desperately needs a tag.

COACH
To who? Her vengeful ex-girlfriend who would rather see her suffer?

Wright begins crawling to his corner, where CMJ eagerly holds out his hand for a tag.  CMJ needn’t wait very long, as Wright reaches him for a tag.

BRANNIGAN
Now Krista has to deal with a fresher man.

CMJ saunters over to Krista, smiling at the easy picking’s he’s been faced with. He rips Krista off the canvas and throws her to the ropes. Lowering his head proves to be an unwise idea as Krista kicks him in the chest.  She then nails him with a sitout jaw breaker! CMJ falls flat onto his butt, allowing Krista to run the ropes and nail him with a John Morrisson style knee strike.

BRANNIGAN
Krista has some fight left in her!

But that fight is momentarily halted by Wright clubbing her from behind. He grabs onto her wrist and attempts to hurl her into the corner. But Krista counters and he is the one sent into the corner.  Before he can pry himself away from the turnbuckle posts, Krista runs in and nails his chin with a knee! Pained, Wright howls and sags down to a sitting position.

KRISTA


“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

COACH
Now, how Alix gonna give up an ass like that, on some I don't wanna be no Scottie Pippen shit.

BRANNIGAN
I think Alix would be fine being Scottie Pippen, a hall of famer, its just that Krista has her pegged as Will Perdue!

Wright slams his eyes shut, and thinks of horrifying images of his naked mother having sex with Nolan Ryan in an attempt to avoid a humiliating rise in his loins.  This is a futile effort that’s utterly destroyed when Krista rubs her sumptuous ass against his face. Flush with the smooth beauty of her perfectly shaped behind, Wright’s wildest dreams and worst nightmares come true...

WRIGHT


CMJ comes charging in with lariat aimed at Krista. But the bootylicious babe drop toe holds him! As such he crushes Wright’s flagpole into microscopic bits!

WRIGHT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

KRISTA
Good lord, you scream like a woman! No that’s too flattering. You scream like a girl.

Krista picks CMJ off the mat and throws him into the opposite corner. She zooms in with a corner splash but is thwarted by a raised yellow boot from CMJ. Krista stumbles backwards, leaving her open to a lariat attempt. However, she ducks the attack and the referee suffers through the strike.

COACH
Man down!

CMJ turns around into a spinning wheel kick! There’s no time for Krista to further damage him as an ENRAGED Wright is on her with feral ferocity.  Krista wards off his attacks, and backs him into the corner with fast flying forearms. Behind her back Lorelei DeCenzo hands CMJ Wright’s briefcase.

BRANNIGAN
Krista needs to watch out. Things have gotten very dangerous within that ring.

COACH
That’s why she needs a partner. But Alix don’t care nothing about what happens to her.

Still unaware of the weapon in Colin’s hand, Krista attempts to whip Wright across the ring. But he reverses it and sends her towards a waiting Colin. Thankfully for her legion of fans, the three time world champion is able to duck the attack. Thusly its Wright who’s blasted by the briefcase!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Colin slams the case down in frustration and loudly curses his ill luck. That luck continues to fail him as he turns around into a crowd popping KIDology (codebreaker)!

BRANNIGAN
The Enterprise could be heading for the loss!

Not if Lorelei has anything to do about it! The Money Honey enters the ring, unbeknownst to Krista and slams a chair into Miss California’s back! Krista crumples to the ground, shrieking in pain.

COACH
You spoke to soon, Tony. Lorelei ain’t gonna let this big victory just slip away like that.

Lorelei drapes CMJ’s arm across Krista’s body. She then angrily and roughly rouses the referee and forces him to make the count…

ONE!


TWO!

ALIX BREAKS UP THE PINFALL!

COACH
What’s SHE doing here?

Lorelei screams at her ex-girlfriend and demands she leave the ring at once.  But Alix doesn’t listen to her request, instead scooping up the steel chair.  The referee urges Alix to rid herself of the weapon, but Alix says no. Soon there’s a tug of war between herself and the official, which ends with Alix ripping the chair away from him. But on her motion she connects with a rising Krista’s skull, dropping her to the canvas!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

BRANNIGAN
Alix accidentally hit Krista!

COACH
Accident? That ain’t no accident, T-Bod, that was intentional. This girl don’t have the heart of gold we thought she had!

Before anyone can judge Alix’s reaction, Lorelei sacrifices herself by tackling the world champion to the ground! With Alix preoccupied, Wright sneaks in and snaps a front facelock onto Krista! Moments later, Krista is driven downwards with a gordbuster!

BRANNIGAN
Stock Market Crash!

Wright rolls Krista over into a pinfall, as the crowd looks on in dread…

ONE!



TWO!




THREE!!


COACH
This man CAN NOT be stopped!

BUFFER
The winners of the match as a result of a pinfall…..THE ENTERPRISE!

Boos are plentiful as Wright celebrates his latest victory with open arms and an arrogant smile.

BRANNIGAN
Christian Wright exercised one of his demons in defeating long time tormentor Krista Isadora Duncan. And if she can’t beat him, who can?

The Enterprise retreats up the ramp with congragulatory handshakes and hugs for each other. Meanwhile in the ring, the official checks on Krista, as Alix hovers over him, wearing a vauge expression.
 
BRANNIGAN
Now does that look to you like someone who attacked Krista on purpose?

COACH
Yes! That’s face of a remorseless monster!

We fade out on the "remorseless monster" staring down at her fallen ex-lover.

FADE OUT