OAOAST HeldDOWN~! 11/25/10

[Tony149]

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmshRQ8zaZA

We go straight to the Thanksgiving themed Sofa Central where Coach already has a full plate of Thanksgiving food!

BRANNIGAN
Hello world, and a happy Thanksgiving to you all wherever you may be! We are live in Houston, Texas, on this turkey day night, and we wish you and your family well. What a show we have tonight to celebrate with you. Right Coach?

COACH
Hell if I know, I just showed up for the candied yams.

BRANNIGAN
Well, it is a great show. Tonight just three days from November Reign Alix Maria Spezia puts her world title on the line against Vinny Valentine, Baron Windels meets up with OAOAST Original Sandman9000 and we have so much more! Going to share any of that food with me?

COACH
Hell no I ain't.

HERE I AM AGAIN! HEY NOW! HEY NOW! I’M THE MOTHERFUCKER OF THE YEAR!

Boos pollute the air in response to Motley Crue’s ode to being a dick. And a big dick emerges from the backstage area in Mister Dick. Wearing very small white shorts and nothing else besides cowboy boots, he and Malaysia trek down the entrance ramp.

BRANNIGAN
This is man will face Alix Maria Spezia for the OAOAST World Title at November Reign live from Boston.

Upon entering the ring, Mister Dick is granted a microphone.

MISTER DICK
It’s Thanksgiving week, and I bet most of ya’ll tubs of lard just stuffed yer mouthes full of Turkey meat.  But unlike you inbred retards, I hit the sheets instead of the desert cart and stuffed Malaysia’s mouth full of my man meat!

MALAYSIA
That was the best Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever had, baby.

MISTER DICK
Damn straight.  My daddy used to tell me that Thanksgiving was a time to look across the way at your neighbor an give thanks…thanks that you ain’t as piss poor and ugly as he is!  And I’ve done gone and followed my daddy’s example to the letter, and gave thanks that I ain’t as poor as all of ya! In my family we used to feast on Apple Pie every Thanksgiving deser, ya’ll probably are so broke you feast on mud pies. Yer Turkey probably ain’t even no turkey, its probably a pigeon you found on your porch and you glued one of those hangy things to its neck. And when I stop and take a gander at all of ya’ll I’m just right darn thankful I don’t look like I belong in the carnival freakshow like the lot of ya! Bearded ladies, midgets with man breasts, one lgged acrobats, yer all good for Traveling Sam’s tent of weirdos and oddities.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

MISTER DICK
I didn’t mosey on down her to stir up no trouble with ya’ll, I just wanted to give my thanks in public.  First I gotta thank myself for being two hundred thirty something pounds of shit kicking sex appeal. People magazine had the nerve to list Ryan Reynolds as the sexiest man alive. Ain’t they ever watched an OAOAST show, and seen God’s greatest creation, The Human Hard On? Ain’t they ever looked bellow my waste and seen the heat I’m packing just trynna jump out my tights? If that list don’t have me as number then its as illegitimate as your children!

 “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

MISTER DICK
I’d be remiss if I didn’t give thanks to my baby, Malaysia. When times get tough, she’s there to lend a hand. When times get hard, she’s there to pitch in and lend a handjob.

Malaysia smiles and nods.

MISTER DICK
All in all Malaysia’s a fine person to saddle up with and ride the rocky road of the OAOAST. I got even more to be thankful for! I guess I’m just as lucky as all the rabbit feet in the world put together! I’m lucky enough to be able to work side by side with Krista Isadora Duncan.

BRANNIGAN
What?

MISTER DICK
That woman done slammed the gates of heaven on my hand and dragged me through every fire of hell that the devil’s got.  And I done went and did the same to her. But I don’t begrudge her nothin’, she was just trynna do what’s right for her family, like my daddy did.

BRANNIGAN
I don’t understand this.

MISTER DICK
She went and drew out the best compeitior I can be, I haven’t been so motivated in athletics since I was starting quarterback for Texas A&M.

BRANNIGAN
He was a third string walk on.

MISTER DICK
That’s why I’m thankful for Krista, for making me the best I can be. And I know it in my heart that the woman is gonna be the best referee she can be at November Reign.

BRANNIGAN
Now I get it, he’s sucking up to her. But sucking up to Krista is like sucking up to a shark.

MISTER DICK
We’re only a month away from Christmas, and ol Mister Dick is in a damn good giving mood. But I ain’t gonna give anything to orphans, or UNICEF, or cancer research because that crap is useless and gay. No sir, I done went and ordered me a whole bunch of Christmas presents to give to Krista for Christmas.

“KRISTA’S JEWISH! KRISTA’S JEWISH! KRISTA’S JEWISH!” the crowd reminds Mister Dick

MISTER DICK
That don’t mean she don’t celebrate Christmas, and doesn’t believe Jesus ain’t the son of God.

BRANNIGAN
That’s exactly what it means!

MISTER DICK
I’m tired of arguin’ all day long with ya’ll damn retards and dropouts. Just roll out my damn truck full of presents.

A UPS truck rolls onto the scene to great applause from Mister Dick.  The driver steps out the car and begins unloading present after present into the ring.

MISTER DICK
We ain’t gonna have no opening party without the guest of honor. Krista Isadora Duncan, could you please join us if its not too much trouble? I’d really appreciate having you out here.

BRANNIGAN
Who does he think he’s fooling? He hates Krista and she hates him.


Give me those bright lights, long nights
High rise, over time

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Give me them bright lights, long nights
Party till the sun is rising
High rise, over time
Working till the moon is shining
Hot guys, fly girls
Never thought I'd say
I feel on top of the world
I feel on top of the world Hey

BRANNIGAN
Here comes the special guest referee for the world title match at November Reign.

Wearing a Lakers babydoll t-shirt and Capri pants, Krista makes her way onto the entrance ramp. Staring at MD with a confused glare, she enters the ring.

KRISTA
This is a fairly impressive bounty, Jock.  How many Toys for tots centers did you knock off for them?

MISTER DICK
Zero.

KRISTA
Too bad, I’ve had it out for those bastards after they refused my donation of a 9mm pistol. I figure most of the kids live in the ghetto, and Snoop told me you gotta stay strapped in the hood. Why would he lie to me?

MISTER DICK
Open up the first present, Krista, I think you’re going to like it.

Mister Dick passes Krista a neatly wrapped present. She opens it to find a bottle of wine.

KRISTA
So how much arsenic did you put in here?

MISTER DICK
I didn’t put no arsenic in there!

KRISTA
That’s too bad, I’ll have to find another way to make my suicide look like a murder. Got any other presents, Jock?

MISTER DICK
Plenty!

MD eagerly passes Krista another package to Krista. With an indifferent stare, she opens up the box to find a soccer ball.

KRISTA
A soccer ball? If you want something for me to kick around, produce Glen Beck’s decapitated head.

MISTER DICK
That ain’t just any soccer ball, that’s the soccer ball you scored your first goal at UCLA with.

Krista is actually pleasantly surprised by the revelation.

MISTER DICK
Come on lets get to the next one.  They say your Jewish but Mister Dick and the Christian religion is gonna make it a good Christmas for ya.

KRISTA
Funny that’s the last word the SS officers told great grandmother before they dragged her off to the concentration camp.

MISTER DICK
Um…….ma’am if you wouldn’t mind opening this present.

BRANNIGAN
Did he just call her ma’am? Give me a break!

Krista tears the wrapping paper off a third present, to unearth a black thong.

KRISTA
This can’t be Malaysia’s, there’s no penis hole.

Malaysia is enraged and lunges for Krista, forcing MD to hold her back. Thankfully for him, Krista takes Malaysia’s aggression in stride.

MISTER DICK
That’s the thong Demi Moore wore in that movie Striptease. A collector’s item and its all your’s. Let’s keep unwrapping these gifts.

SNOOP DOGG
Greetings loved ones
Lets take a journey

KATY PERRY
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
Will melt your popsicle
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
West coast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh Oh Oooooh

A massive cheer welcomes Alix Maria Spezia to the arena. Wearing heavily destroyed jeans and a red tanktop, the world champion quickly heads to the ring.

MISTER DICK
Hell no!

ALIX
Hell yes, Jock! You’re sooooooo stupider than me its not even funny. Well, actually it is kinda funny, J-MAX just peed his pants laughing at this totally stupid attempt to win Krista over.  I thought everything was cool, dude. I thought you said Krista hated me for “stealing her title” and her bottle of Claudile Beauty Exlir.

KRISTA
You’re the one who took it?

ALIX
Crap, shouldn’t have said anything. Anywho, you said that beating me was  a foregone conclusion with her as the ref. And I dunna what foregone or conclusion means but I assume it means you thought you were gonna win, and so if everything was so easy peasy, why do you have to butter her up, that’s my job.

KRISTA
She has this thing for licking butter off me. It’s a little creepy and ruins her cholesterol.

MISTER DICK
You dam idiot! I ain’t doin’ this to butter nothing! I’m doin’ this outta the kindness of my heart.

ALIX
Oh yeah right. You don’t even have a heart dude.  You’re the one who jizzed on your best friend, tried to force Krista into giving you a BJ, tried to jizz on her at Anglemania last year, and threw Biff Atlas off a scaffold. There’s no kindness in you. And anyway, your gifts totally suck!  This soccer ball she scored her first goal with? Itsa Puma.

MISTER DICK
So?

ALIX
So we used Nikes, dumbass!

MISTER DICK
How the hell would you know?

ALIX
Uh, duh, I was on the team and as the goalie I’m the one who got fifty million looks at the ball. And that bottle of wine, I did a little price check before I came out here, and oh yeah, its worth about five dollars, meaning any hobo could screw enough strange corporate types looking for a seedy anonmyus sex encounter to afford it. And as for the thong…I think I got something to top that.

Alix smiles a sly sort of a grin and quickly rids herself of her jeans, much too the crowd's immense pleasure.

ALIX TO KRISTA


COACH
Oh baby!

Mister Dick and Malaysia charge forward and attack Alix!

BRANNIGAN
This holiday celebration as gone down hill!

COACH
Speaking of things going down maybe Alix’s underwear should go in that direction!

Mister Dick agrees with Alix’s sentiments, and tries to rip down Alix’s panties! But Alix kicks him away, and quickly rises to her feet. She grabs hold of her world title belt in order to slam it into Mister Dick’s face, causing him to tumble over the ropes.  Seeing this, Malaysia charges at Alix, only to be flipped over the ropes by a back body drop!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

After gathering themselves and getting their wits about them, MD and Malaysia take a frustrating walk up the entrance ramp.

BRANNIGAN
Krista didn’t do anything to help Alix.

Alix realizes this, and gives Krista a puzzled stare. Krista doesn’t even bother to make eye contact with Alix as she exits the ring.
 
LATER TONIGHT
BARON WINDELS VS SANDMAN9000

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

In the throne room, King Landon Maddix called a roundtable meeting and laid out the plans for the evening. No-one dared ask why there was no table, I guess. King Landon informed The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club that they would be in a triple threat match tonight against each other and Scottish Scott. The winner was promised a spot on the Cucaracha Kingdom team at November Reign. But if they worked together and showed enough good teamwork, the King promised to consider both. If they lost, they were both out. The Hellfire Club agreed to the plan and headed off, but the announcers weren't so sure this was a winning idea.


***Quiz W/Synth Abdul Jabbar Vs Biffman W/Melody Nerdly***
Quiz took Biff lightly at first, making a major mental mistake. This allowed Biff to assume early control of the contest. Though he put great effort into his cause he couldn't keep Quiz down for a pinfall.  A blocked punch that was turned into a lariat by Quiz put the Calgary native on the attack. Quiz battered Biff with his powerhouse offense. Despite the cheers from superfan Melody, Biff had a rough time in battling his muscle bound foe. Thankfuly for Biff, Quiz made another gaffe by taking time to taunt Melody after he tossed Biff into the corner. When Quiz returned his focus to Biffman, the superhero was flying off the top rope with a lariat! From there Biff proceeded to take a fierce fight to Quiz. But both competitors would be distracted by Abdullah Abir Nerdly, being lowered from ceiling on a pulpit! Abdullah preached the good word of God that stated the Church of Abdullah must be rebuilt and must take over the OAOAST. He continued his sermon as Quiz and Biff battled in the ring. But the fight became difficult to conduct as the pulpit landed square in the middle of the ring. That's when Abdullah made his offer to Biffman. He stated that Biffman with his powers, value, and virtuosity, was the perfect candidate to join the Church of Abdullah. The Speaker For The Prophets said he would give him time to decide. However Biffman was also given a sample of what should happen if he refuses the invite as Quiz speared him through the podium! That lead the referee to call for the bell and issue the DQ. Melody quickly attended to the wounded superhero.

Winner: Biffman, via DQ

[Tony149]

BRANNIGAN
Fans as many of you know Maya Duncan-Blanchard is still in high school. Between her work in the OAOAST Maya is diligent straight A student and also captain of the Beverly Hills High School Varsity soccer team, much like her mother was many years ago. Not that many, I’m not trying to say Krista’s old or anything, she’d kill me where I stand. Um, anyway, Beverly opened their season against El Segundo Highschool this past Tuesday, and Molly Nerdly was on hand to capture the action. And let’s just say it wasn’t your average high school soccer game. Let’s take a look.

TUESDAY THE 23RD

BEVERLY HILLS NORMANS VS EL SEGUNDO EAGLES

Taped and edited by Molly Nerdly

The beautiful field is packed with students, teachers, and parents, all here to witness the opening game of the girls’ soccer season at Beverly Hills Highschool. Most of the focus is on last year’s leading scorer in the state….


MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD, who wears number 24 in honor of the GOAT athlete Kobe Bryant.

The  actual highlights open up with the starting kickoff. Number 25 passes the ball to center midfielder, Maya. Maya works her way down the field, deking past one defender before dishing the ball off to a forward. The forward scurries ahead and sets up a lead pass to Maya.  Maya, however isn’t quick enough to catch up to the ball, and an El Segundo defender punts it out of bounds.

VOICE (OS)
Gotta be quick on that ball, 24!

Molly turns the camera around to see Holly hanging out on the sidelines as if she were the coach! An annoyed and puzzled look rests on Maya’s face, and she’s so distracted that her throw in goes right to an El Segundo forward.

HOLLY
What the hell was that, 24?  You can’t turn that ball over like that!

Maya hustles down the field, chasing after the El Segundo player. The player dishes the ball to a teammate, who quickly passes it back to her. That’s when Maya strikes with a slide tackle that upends her opposition.

HOLLY
That’s a red card, 24! You can’t pull that shit!

FEMALE PARENT
Hey, watch your language.

HOLLY
Hey, go suck a (beep), whore!

PARENTS


Visibly frustrated with Holly’s presence, Maya launches an errant cross that’s easily caught by an El Segundo midefielder. The midfielder slides the ball between two defenders, to a forward who one touches it into the net for a goal!

HOLLY
That goal is on you, 24! Get her out the game, coach, she’s playing like dog shit!

MALE PARENT
Young lady-

HOLLY
Don’t call me a lady, faggot!

Maya is too shaken by Holly’s repeated shouts to even get set up for the kick. So it comes to some surprise when the ball lands at her feet. Soon she has a swarm of defenders on her. But ever the talented one, Maya jukes and jives her way through the opposition. She launches a perfect cross to a forward, then charges hard to the net. The ball sails to her as she approaches the goal, and she leaps into the air to head it past the El Segundo goalie!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Holly stomps on the ground in disgust, unable to believe that Maya scored such a pretty goal.

Play resumes with an El Segundo forward taking off down the field. She passes one midfielder, but when she cuts into Maya’s territory, the Duncan girl is easily able to strip her of the ball. Maya zips through a few defenders, making things seem as easy as pie.

HOLLY
Are you gonna pass the ball are what, 24? Are you gonna be a ball hog all day long? Selfish bitch!

FEMALE PARENT
Now that is enough!

The parent marches over to Holly to confront her.

HOLLY
Get the (beep) out my face before I whip out a switchblade and (beep) up your (beep) with it!


Maya’s concentration is broke by Holly’s very vulgar shouts and she turns the ball over to a defender.

HOLLY
What the (beep) was that, 24? You mother never turned the ball over like that!

Maya hustles back to catch the ball carrier, but misses a tackle  which allows the El Segundo player to move the ball to a teammate.

HOLLY
Coach, get this worthless bitch out the game!

PARENT
Hey, that’s my daughter’s best friend!

HOLLY
Then you daughter must be a stupid slut!

PARENT


The El Segundo players set up a give and go that creates a three on one. The lone Beverly defender is no match for their numbers and a goal is easily put past the keeper.

HOLLY
You better apologize to your team, 24! You keep on (beep) up!

The ensuing kickoff is delivered to Maya, who makes a fast charge upfield. When she’s confronted by her opposition, she dishes off the ball to an open forward. Along with ,the other forward, the two girls make a run to the net. The ball carrier goes wide, as Maya heads to the front of the net. The ball is then sent to her on a cross. Maya leaps into the air and heads the ball right into…the posts!

HOLLY
Can I get a you (beep) up chant?

PARENT
Would you please just go?

HOLLY
Make me, bitch! Make me!

Maya hustles back on defense as El Segundo makes rush towards Beverly’s end. She catches up with one El Segundo’s forwards, who is given the ball on a cross.

HOLLY
You’ve got no hustle, 24! None at all!

Maya’s face turns red with a flaming rage. Unable to attack Holly, he anger boils over and comes out in the form of an elbow to the back of the ball carrier’s head!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

HOLLY
Someone kick that girl’s ass for that elbow! You’re scum 24, you’re scum!

The referee produces a yellow card for Maya, drawing exaggerated cheers from Holly. The play continues with a free kick that’s launched over the wall and right into the net for another goal!

HOLLY
That’s three goals that are your fault, 24! Your mother wouldn’t have made those mistakes!

Stinging from Holly’s barbs, Maya walks back to the center line for the kickoff. She receives the ball and  moves it to another midfielder, before running down the left. After several passes between the midfielder’s and forwards, the ball comes to Maya. She takes strides down the field, and then attempts to launch the ball through the air with a cross. But an El Segundo defender blocks the ball. The ball trickles out of bounds, landing near Holly.

HOLLY
Heh.

Trying to avoid eye contact with her archrival, Maya scoops up the ball and prepares for the throw in.

HOLLY
Why are you playing so shity, 24?  Why do you keep turning the (beep) ball over? I thought your ass was supposed to be the second coming of Krista. Do you think your mother would be proud of how shitty you’ve played? What about your deadbeat father? Ever noticed how he has nothing to do with you? That ain’t a (beep) accident, its because you were a (beep) mistake and he doesn't love you!

Maya can tolerate no more of Holly’s taunts and insults as her body trembles with a furious anger. She rears the ball back and with a mighty roar throws directly into Holly’s face! Holly crumples to the ground, as everyone from fan to player stares on in shock.

Maya puts on an expression of raw fury and utter vulgarities more commonly heard by her victim, as she storms off the field.

BACK TO SOFA CENTRAL

BRANNIGAN
Fans, Holly is okay but the ramifications of that incident have had a strong impact. The school has suspended Maya for five games for her actions and stripped her of her captaincy.

COACH
Good! You think someone like Ron Artest would run into the stands beat someone because they did something he didn’t like.

BRANNIGAN
Uh, Coach?

COACH
I stand by my point and Holly’s gonna make hers in Hell In The Cell at November Reign.

NOVEMBER REIGN
THIS SUNDAY ONLY ON PAY PER VIEW

COMMERCIAL

[Tony149]

BRANNIGAN
Well we're having a Happy Thanksgiving out here, but even Thanksgiving isn't enough to cheer up some of the OAOAST competitors. Including Leon Rodez, who is miserable at the best of times. And he was pretty miserable earlier on in footage our OAOAST cameras managed to catch. Let's take a look.


-EARLIER TODAY-

Our camera lurk somewhere in the background backstage, zooming in just enough to intrude on a personal conversation, if 'conversation' is even the right word, being given by Leon Rodez, to Morgan Nerdly. We see Morgan slumped up against a wall, head hung and looking sad as Leon dictates to her.

MORGAN
No... I can't do that...

RODEZ
"Can't"? Can't, or won't? You don't owe these people anything. You're an outcast, okay. A loner. We both are. Not one of those girls cares about you and yet you're concerned about winning a match, with them as your partners? Why do you think I specifically went and told Alfdogg not to put me in a match on Sunday? So what, you're going to turn up to some little strategy session before the match, nod your head, pretend like you care? I'm not going through that pretense. Why should you?

MORGAN
But, I'm already in the match. M-maybe if I win, I can get a title shot?

Morgan looks up hopefully, hoping that'll fly. Leon sighs and although his back is to the camera, you can assume he's rolling his eyes.

RODEZ
No. If you win, she wins. I know that's not what you want.

No answer from Morgan.

RODEZ
You know what, I don't care if you want it or not. I don't. And as little as you owe your team, you do owe me. So here's what you're going to do. When the time is right... you do whatever you have to, to cost them the match. I don't care if you walk out on them, or you stab one of them in the back. Whatever you have to do to sabotage them. So long as you screw things up for Jade, for once.

MORGAN
...n...n-no.

Not quite sure of what he heard, Leon stares down at Morgan, the pinned back girl trying to avoid any eye contact.

RODEZ
Excuse me?

MORGAN
...I don't wanna mess up a match...

RODEZ
For who? For Jade!? Who cares!?

Managing to brush enough hair away from her eyes to look at Leon without actually looking at him, Morgan finds enough strength to be DEFIANT... almost.

RODEZ
Are you seriously telling me you'd rather, "do the right thing", whatever the hell that means, even if it means going against the only person who cares about you?

MORGAN
I don't want to screw things up for Jade. Not anymore. She's the only one around here who's nice to me. Don't make me...

Leon slaps his hands against the wall, over Morgan's head, causing Morgan to cower underneath him in fear. She starts to sob, as Leon takes a few steps back, clearly furious.

RODEZ
You've got three days! You'd better think VERY carefully just who you do care about and who you don't!

Leon storms off, leaving Morgan to curl up and sob some more after that uneasy confrontation.



***Baron Windels vs. Sandman9000***

The match started fast and furious as both competitors brawled around ringside. Sandman took advantage of the bout following a missed top rope lariat by BW, but the Lone Star Gunslinger would mount a comeback that included several near falls. With their fellow Deadly Alliance member on the rocks, the group led by Reject appeared ringside. After an exciting exchange with Sandman, BW found himself at the feet of the DA outside, then subjected to a 3 on 1 assault as Sandman distracted the referee. Tim Cash rushed to his partner’s aid but the numbers remained on the DA’s side until THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS made their presence felt. A mini-battle royal ensued, then once order was restored BW and Tim Cash introduced their teammates at November Reign, the CAE.

Winner: Baron Windels via DQ

[Tony149]

NOVEMBER REIGN SHILL

Inside the CHRISTMAS themed state-of-the-art OAOAST Newsroom we find JIVIN’ J.R.

JIVIN’ J.R.
GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, I’M BACK ON TV! We’re just 30 days away from the most wonderful time of the year and I couldn’t think of a better early Christmas present for the family than November Reign live exclusively on pay-per-view. The OAOAST’s Thanksgiving weekend tradition returns this Sunday night with a card that’s sure to leave you stuffed!

OAOAST WORLD TITLE MATCH
Alix Maria Spezia © Vs Mister Dick

SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: Krista Isadora Duncan

JIVIN J.R.
Of course the match everyone is talking about will see Alix Maria Spezia defend her newly won World title against Mr. Dick. According to my sources, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker might not be the only A-list Hollywood that splits this month. In the case of COD, it’s not another woman but the OAOAST Championship that’s the issue. Don’t be surprise if Mr. Dick walks out the OAOAST Champion for the second time in his career.

QUEEN OF THE RING FINALS: HELL IN A CELL
Maya Duncan Blanchard Vs Holly

JIVIN’ J.R.
How about this one? Krista’s little girl Maya going up against nasty girl Holly in the much anticipated Queen of the Ring Finals. If the stakes weren’t big enough, this match will be contested inside the demonic Hell in a Cell.

In addition to those great matches, teams strive to survive in elimination tag bouts.

TRADITIONAL SURVIVOR SERIES MATCHES

The Blond Bombshells (Jade, Morgan, Maggie, and Melody)
-Vs-
Team Lorelei (Lorelei, Melissa, Lindsay, and Sophie)

The Deadly Alliance (Thunderkid, Sandman9000, and OAO World tag team champions, the Can-Am Assassins)
-Vs-
The Citizen Soldiers (Baron Windels, Tim Cash, and the Christ Air Express)

(If the Citizen Soldiers are victorious, Baron Windels gets 5 minutes alone with Reject)

Team Anglesault (Cortez, Jason Silver, Bohemoth, Bosley, and CPA)
-Vs-
Cobra Strikeforce (OCC’s, D*LUX, and Denzel Spencer)

Team Megan
-Vs-
Cucaracha Kingdom

(if the Kingdom lose Landon must kiss Megan's feet, if Megan's team lose she must kiss Landon's feet)

JIVIN’ J.R.
As you see, if the Citizen Soldiers are victorious over the Deadly Alliance, then team captain Baron Windels gets 5 minutes alone in the ring with DA leader Reject. But a beating pales in comparison to the humiliation King Landon or Megan Skye will endue if their respective team goes down in defeat, because the loser will have to KISS the other’s feet! I’m not one into that kind of deal, but I know whose feet I’d rather kiss.

All that plus much more. November Reign. It’s the OAOAST’s Thanksgiving weekend tradition. It’s this SUNDAY, SUNDAY, BAH GAWD SUNDAY! And it’s live only on pay-per-view. Call your local cable or satellite operator to order right now! NOW! NOW!

[Tony149]

***Scottish Scott -VS- Rico de Janeiro -VS- Lucius Soul***
Heeding the words of their leader and King, Lucius and Rico started the match as a good, fine-tuned tag team. Which was just as well, since King Landon brought out the rest of his Kingdom to watch from the stage. Complete with thrones, dragged out by stagehands for he and Queen Esther to sit upon. Scottish Scott fought gallantly against the two on one odds and used his power to bounce around his opponents whenever possible. But the odds were still two on one and he was still facing former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. However, things would only stay civil for so long, as Rico tried a quick pin and Lucius broke it up, covering up by insisting they do more damage first. Then soon after, Lucius tried to sneak a win behind Rico's back and the same result occured the other way. Sure enough, the indecision allowed Scottish Scott to fight back. The King looked on with disapproval. But things were to get worse. The Hellfire Club were able to regroup. Just long enough for Rico to capitalise, running Scott forward into Lucius (perhaps accidentally), then rolling the Scot up to secure his place on the Survivor Series team.

Winner: Rico de Janeiro, via pinfall

After the match though, tempers flared as Lucius and Rico got into it, The Black Knight unhappy that the pinfall was stolen from him. A shoving match ensued and as the two bickered back and forth, the King and James Blonde were forced to step in and keep them separated, as more tensions seemed to be showing within the Kingdom!

[Tony149]

OAOAST World Title Alix Maria Spezia Vs Vinny Valentine
Mister Dick joined Coach and T-Bod for commentary and was in a very opinionated mood. He was also in a hungry mood as he brought out a huge turkey to feast on. He blasted Alix for giving V-Squared a title shot when she hasn't even offered Krista a sniff of the belt. While MD continued to harp on Alix, the champion brought a fast fight to Valentine. The Disco Duck was unable to keep up with her high flying offense and quickly bailed out the ring. Alix gave chase and continued to beat on Vinny on the outside. She got into it with Mister Dick, who threw his water in her face! Blinded, Alix was unable to stop Vinny from slamming her face into announce table.  From there Vinny pursued the advantage, using every trick in the book to try and put away Alix. But noting he tried would keep the champion down. Eventually Alix took back control of the match and proceeded to "pound Vinny into the dirt" as MD put it. A Confessions of a Kristaholic would finish the job for the world champion.

Winner:Alix Maria Spezia, via pinfall

Mister Dick would then attack Alix, striking her in the back of the head with his turkey. As she laid out on the canvas, MD revealed that his turkey was stuffed with his shake weight! The number one contender stood tall and proud above his rival as we faded out.