Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-EARLIER THIS WEEK COURTESY: OAOAST SYNDICATED OAOAST World tag team titles: Tha Puerto Rican & "Virgin Island Thunder" Victor Perez © vs The Can-Am Assassins A great tag team match highlighted the show, as both teams exchanged their best shots throughout the match. Eventually, Pantera clotheslined PRL from the apron as he set up for the P.R. Nightmare on Strutter. The challengers would control the next few minutes, until PRL leveled Pantera with a boot to the face as he charged towards the corner. Pantera recovered quickly, but couldn't catch him in time to prevent the tag to Perez. Perez bewildered Pantera with a bevy of high-flying moves, but Strutter interrupted the count, leading to a four-man brawl. Pantera was discarded from the ring, as the champs went for the kill. However, TK rushed to the ring, only to be cut off by a PRL tope! Perez then set up for a piledriver on Strutter, but Sandman9000 snuck around behind him, climbing to the top rope with a barbed-wire bat, grabbing it by each end, and driving it into the back of the head of Perez! The official turned around just in time to make the three-count, making the Can-Ams the champs for the first time.Winners and NEW OAOAST World tag team champions: The Can-Am Assassins We cut straight to Tony Brannigan and Da Coach at the Thanksgiving themed Sofa Central. BRANNIGAN As winter nears things are only heating up in the OAOAST. Just last week a new World Champion was crowned in Alix Maria Spezia and as we saw at the top of the program, the Can-Am Assassins are now the World tag team champions. COACH Which means we'll actually get to see the tag champs on TV again! BRANNIGAN Speaking of champs on TV, we're about to see one now. SNOOP DOGGGreetings loved ones Lets take a journey KATY PERRYCalifornia girls We're unforgettable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top Sun-kissed skin So hot Will melt your popsicle Oooooh Oh Oooooh California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh Entrance doors spread apart to bring out the exuberant world champion, Alix Maria Spezia! Holding a few frisbees, she dances and bounces atop the stage to work up the crowd. On way down the asile way, she wings her frisbees at the roaring audience. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your OAOAST world champion, ALIX MARIA SPEZZZIAAAAA! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Alix is proof positive you don’t need brains to be a champion. BRANNIGAN But you need heart and Alix has a lot of that. Upon entering the ring, the world champion is granted a microphone. ALIX Let’s play a game of did you know. Did you know that feasting on a steady diet of paint chips will not allow you to change your skin pigmentation to a deep brown to better fit in with your brothers in the Nation of Islam. All praise to Allah and the honorable Elijah Mohamed! Did you also know that removing the breaks from your car does not excuse you from stopping at red lights and stop signs? Yeah, DMV gets kinda pissed about that, and it doesn’t hold up in a court of law. Believe me, everyone, I tried! Did you know the amount of Furry porn on my cousin’s hardrive equals and exceeds the gross national product of furry porn put out by the country of Vietnam. You got Charlie on the twelve soldier, and he’s wearing a squirell costume and he’s coming for your ass! Hoorah! Did you also know that Mister Dick is the biggest, meanest, stupidest jerk in the whole wide world? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX So you did know that? Great! Grrrr he makes me so mad! Ya know he comes out here and judges me like he’s Jesus Christ or something. And he’s not Jesus because I have a potato chip that’s actually in the shape of Jesus and it totally doesn’t like Mister Dick. I wonder if its blasphemy to eat it? Its BBQ so maybe eternal damnaton is soooooooo worth it. Anywho, yeah, so this dude comes out here and judges me like Judge Judy, except unlike Judy I don’t fantaize about freaky monkey sex with him, so instead of being panty melting its just annoying. Really annoying. Ya wanna know why its annoying? Because everything he says is totally untrue! Its all a big fat stinking lie like when they tell you people that aren’t gay can get aids. BRANNIGAN Ummm….. ALIX This dude, like, says I stole the title from Krista! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX I didn’t steal anything! Well I stole the opening did you know monologue from Melody, but she has bigger boobs than I do so I think somehow it all works out in the end on the entertainment scale. But I didn’t steal anybody’s title! No way, no how, no sir! I totally won that belt fair and square. I was just as much a part of that match as anybody and I have every right to win that belt. And then this dude calls me like a sidekick or something. Like I’m the Pippen to Krista’s Jordan. Ewww a sports reference I’m becoming such a butch. Anywho, that’s not true! Krista and I are equals! There’s no sidekick or backup between us, we’re not DC comic characters. We’re people, we’re girlfriend and girlfriend, and we both help each other out. Yeah, she does, like, the leading and stuff, but I do other important stuff! Like who mows the grass? Well a grouping of ethinic minorities do it. But who cooks? Another group of ethnic minorities. Who does the laundry? An ethnic minority. But if you pretend that ethnic minority is me then I have tons and tons of responsibility! So its totally cool that I became world champion! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX So, like, then this dude says Krista’s all pissed at me and stuff. Whatever, dude! Krista’s totally cool with this. She’s got a star on the walk of fame, she’s a New York Time’s best selling author, she’s got her own fitness empire. She even has her own videogame for the Wii! What’s she care about a little world title belt?HERE I AM AGAIN! HEY NOW! HEY NOW! I’M THE MOTHERFUCKER OF THE YEAR! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” As the music would suggest a topless, tiny towel wearing, Mister Dick saunters onto the stage. Behind him is Malaysia, holding her whip in case things should get ugly. MISTER DICK God damn it to hell! Why you gotta be so damn stupid all the time? I’m gettin’ damn sick and tired of having to come out here and take time outta my day to correct your foolishness. You’re livin’ a lie if you think Krista don’t care none about that title belt. Its time to acknowledge the corn. ALIX I don’t even like corn! MISTER DICK It’s a saying, you damn idiot! There ain’t no real corn! ALIX Good, because I hate corn! MISTER DICK Just shut up for a silly minute, will ya? Its time you heard the truth. Krista is driven to be the best, she’s dedicated to be best, and much like myself in the bedroom she thrives on being on top. She’s gotta be the top dog at whatever she does. When she became OAOAST World Champion for a second time she was the best in the OAOAST. Ain’t no disputin’ it, that’s what being the champ is all about. But you done went and took that all away from her like a damn cat burglar! ALIX Hey, I didn’t steal anybody’s cat! And I didn’t steal Krista’s title! She’s happy for me! MISTER DICK Bullshit! She’s about as happy as a cow headin’ to the slaughter house. That woman is hoppin’ mad and you better count your lucky stars she don’t go Tommy Lee to your Pamela Anderson. And you know who else ain’t happy? The OAOAST brass. What they had before as a champion was an A-list celebrity. That was easy money. All they had to do was put Krista’s name on the card and the cash would roll on in. But what they got as champion now is her B-list, airheaded, flaky, drug abusing, sidekick! ALIX Quiet, you big meanie! Yeah, I’ve had my problems with drugs in the past, but I’m clean as a whistle now! And I may not be the sharpest drawer in the knife or whatever, but I’m still smart enough not to lie with the Nerdly family’s resident transsexual. MALAYSIA MISTER DICK Don’t you talk about my woman like that! ALIX What do you even want from me, dude? I know you don’t care about Krissy’s feelings, and the OAOAST brass doesn’t mean anything to you so just come out and say it. MISTER DICK What I want is to beat your ass into the dirt and take back the world title! Krista was on a roll with that belt, and I wasn’t gettin’ in the way of that freight train. I ain’t stupid. But now that you have the belt? All bets are off! You’re easy pickings. I could crush you like a new born chick! The only reason you’re still holding that strap is because you ain’t faced me yet. “Its Not My Time” surprisingly pours through the speakers, giving rise to a large pop. The entrance doors spread apart and Tim Cash, attired in white dress shirt and black slacks, walks out with microphone in hand. MISTER DICK You? What the hell do you want? TIM CASH Pardon me, Jock, but I take issues to just about everything you’ve said. Alix deserves our respect as world champion and not our scorn. She’s a courageous woman, that stood tall in the face of impossible odds at the Halloween Spectacular. If anyone in that match deserves to wear the OAOAST World Title its her. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” CASH I also notice that your angling for a world title shot. Jock, I can’t say that you deserve one. I’m just being honest, and I mean no disrespect to you. You had a great opportunity to win the world title at the Halloween Spectacular, and you didn’t come through. Again just being honest, no disrespect intended to you, my friend. MISTER DICK I ain’t your friend! And are you trying to weasel a world title shot out of all this? CASH Are my intentions that transparent? Yes , I am seeking a world title match. I believe Alix and I could put on a heck of a match. Maybe one for the ages. And I’m hungering for the world title. Not just for personal glory, but to show people that living a clean, healthy, respectful lifestyle has its own rewards. MISTER DICK Take a number and get in a line, chump, that belt is mine! You ain’t got no claim to it! Interrupting what was soon to be a tense situation is OAOAST bench boss, Alfdogg. ALFDOGG Hey, guys. It seems we have a bit of a situation here. Both of you want world title shots, and both of you deserve them. Tim after winning the battle royal at the Halloween Spectacular and Mister Dick after being the final person to be eliminated at the Halloween Spectacular mainevent. Well, there’s an easy way to solve this problem. We’ll have a number one contender’s match for the OAOAST World Title here tonight between you two! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Malaysia suddenly grows very furious and snatches the microphone from her lover. MALAYSIA The hell we will! Jock will march backstage and pledge his allegiance to Anglesault and he’ll get his world title shot. MISTER DICK Damn right. You ain’t got more stroke than the namesake of this company. ALIX Jock, you big jerk! Why do you make everything so hard? I’ll tell you what, if you can beat Tim in a match I’ll let you pick any stipulation you want for our world title match. MISTER DICK Any stipulation? ALIX Any! MISTER DICK You just signed your death warrant, woman. Cash, I’ll see you tonight. BRANNIGAN Mr. Dick vs. Tim Cash tonight!QUEEN OF THE RING TOURNAMENT CONTINUES NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage in the royal headquarters, the Cucaracha Kingdom has been gathered. The troops stand around in perfect single file, waiting for King Landon to finally stop pacing around and address them. KING LANDON I can't make it clear enough... how imperative it is that we win at November Reign. Blonde, Rico and Lucius all nod. KING LANDON I mean, I really can't express in words how much we must win. You understand, right? More nods. KING LANDON Good. Good, that's good. Now, the terms of the match are, four versus four. Which means, out of the six of us, I am going to have to make a couple of tough decisions. But, I am a leader. And I hope you all realise that, as leader of this Kingdom, my royal commands are made for the best interests of this group. With that in mind, James... BLONDE Yes! KING LANDON Tonight, you've got a chance to prove yourself to me. Lately there have been some... 'slip-ups'. We can't afford those at November Reign. BLONDE Absolutely. KING LANDON Which is why tonight, if you lose, you're off the team. BLONDE Huh? Caught off guard by this, Blonde's jaw drops. KING LANDON Now obviously if you win, then you're in. So, you know what you have to do. And you know what will be deemed unacceptable. Just think of it as an audition. The rest of you, let's go. As the other members of the Kingdom leave with the King, a lonesome Blonde hangs his head. NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH Now I’m That Bitch gives way to Feel Good Drag which in turns brings out a chorous of boos. Holly’s combat boots kick down a wooden door at the front of the entrance stage, and the Angel of Death stands tall and fierce in front of the remains. BUFFER The following contest is a Queen of The Ring Crystal Division match! Now making her way to the ring from Las Vegas, Nevada, she is the Angel Of Death….HOLLLLYYYYYYYY! Holly swaggers down the entrance ramp threatening and harassing as many fans as she possibly can on her way down. BRANNIGAN The winner of this match will head to the Crystal division finals next week to face off against Maggie Nerdly As Holly enters the ring she shoves the referee out the way in order to have a clear path to the corner. The Angel of Death climbs onto the second posts and raises her arms in a defiant showing to the audience. BRANNIGAN Holly and her opponent Melody Nerdly, actually were a short lived tag team a couple of years ago. Fallout Boy’s rendition of Beat It plays as green matrix like code rushes down the Angletron until it forms the word PLAYER ONE. Attired in a black and white bikini top and long wrestling tights with Super Mario Mushrooms on them, Melody runs out onto the entrance stage. She raises the Vulcan hand signal and tells the camera to “live long and prosper” BUFFER And the opponent from the Fortress of Nerdlytude, she is PLAYER ONE…MEEELLLLLOOOODDDDYYYYYY NNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDDDLLLLLLYYYYY! MeMelody slaps hands down the entrance ramp, giving special thumbs up to a kid in a Futurama t-shirt. BRANNIGAN You gotta love the enthusiasm Melody Nerdly brings everytime out. Although she was less than enthusiastic to be out on a date with Vinny Valentine at the Halloween Spectacular. Can’t say I blame her for that one! DING DING DING MELODY To quote Blanka from Street Fighter: now you will realize the powers I possess! Holly isn’t having any of Melody’s dorkdom and punches her in the mouth! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MELODY RAAAAAGGGEEEEE MOOOOOODDDDEEEE! HOLLY What the (beep)? What the (beep) is that Melody spears Holly to the canvas! As the crowd roots her on, Player One pummels Holly with powerful punches. BRANNIGAN Look at Melody go! Sick of being mangled by her old tag team partner, Holly shoves Melody off her. She gets to her feet and staggers to the corner. This is a poor idea as Melody leaps into her with a body splash. Holly stumbles out the corner, allowing Melody to take her to the canvas with a side headlock takedown. BRANNIGAN So much is on the line here in this final first round Queen of the Ring match. You can’t let nerves get in the way of getting the job done. Holly manages to push herself and Melody to their feet. After that, Holly shoves her foe into the ropes. Melody comes back with a lariat, but Holly ducks the attack. She grabs onto Melody’s blond hair and slams her backwards to the canvas. With a few strands of hair stuck in her hand, Holly flings them about the air and smiles. COACH Don’t look like nerves are effecting Holly none. Holly picks Melody up by the back of her black bikini top in order to tag her with a few punches. Those attacks daze Melody and she stumbles back into the corner. There Melody is assailed by overhand chops. The referee steps in to stop Holly from beating an opponent that’s hooked onto the ropes. But rather than listen to the ref, Holly shoves him away. In response the referee warns Holly, only to be shoved again! HOLLY Stay the (beep) out my face! Having suitably frightened the referee, Holly turns her attention back to Melody. However, Melody is well recovered and slaps Holly with knife edge chops. The blows back Holly to the center of the ring. With Holly dazed, Melody runs the ropes. She returns to knock Holly off her combat boots with a diving elbow strike. This leads to the first pin of the contest… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Melody scrapes Holly off the canvas. MELODY I HAVE FURY! Melody karate chops Holly in the face! This sends Holly tumbling into the ropes. Melody jogs in place for several seconds before charging forward and lariating Holly over the ropes. The force of the attack, carries Melody over the ropes herself and she topples to the outside mats with her adversary. The fans pop over Melody’s display of raw power. BRANNIGAN Melody’s coming with a very aggressive strategy and its paying off in the early going. Melody wraps her arms around Holly’s waist and runs the vulgar redhead into the guardrail. She then pulls out an “air” lightsabre and begins swinging it recklessly. COACH What the hell is wrong with people in this company? You got a guy who ate a cow costume, another guy in a mask speaking in tounges, and this girl pretending she’s Darth Vader. I should just keep my black ass at ESPN. Through with her Jedi routine, Melody picks Holly away from the guardrail. Surprisingly, Holly strikes her in the jaw with a hard elbow. This gives Holly a much needed moment to recover. Once she does, she grabs onto Melody’s arm and slams her against the steel steps. As Melody hollers in pain, the referee urges Holly bring the match back into the ring. HOLLY Go (beep) yourself! That shuts the zebra up, and Holly laughs over her verbal abuse. She then adds some abuse of the physical variety by STANDING on Melody’s face. She grinds the heel of her combat boots into Melody, causing a great amount of pain. BRANNIGAN They say Mister Dick’s just being a dick, well, Holly’s just being a bully. Her attitude and treatment of people is disgraceful. Holly grabs Melody and dumps her back inside the ring. After following her inside, Holly attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! “PLAYER ONE! PLAYER ONE! PLAYER ONE!” COACH And what kind of nickname is Player One? Ol remind me of generic ass call names in WWF Attitude. BRANNIGAN I think that’s the point. Melody gets to her feet under her own willpower, but is pounded by clubbing forearms from The Angel Of Death. Holly then takes off to the ropes, expecting to hit a running knee on Melody. “SHORYUKEN~!” Melody loudly counters with a jumping uppercut! MELODY FINISH HER! Melody swings a kick at Holly’s head. However, its ducked and Holly school girl’s Melody! ONE! TWO! Kickout! Melody hops to her feet and runs the ropes. On her return Holly nails her in the stomach with her combat boot. She then grabs Melody inside a front facelock and signals for the Percussion DDT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Much to the audience’s delight Melody manages to shove her attacker away. This annoys Holly and she zooms back with a lariat. But this time its her being kicked in the gut. Melody swings behind her and executes a diving reverse DDT! BRANNIGAN Imperial Death Drop! Melody hooks onto Holly’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! COACH That ref is on some passive aggressive shit. Holly got him mad now he’s making fast counts. BRANNIGAN You never want to show up an official. Melody pulls Holly upright in order to send her into the turnbuckles. After hitting the posts Holly is forced to deal with Melody coming in with a body splash! Melody nails her attack and Holly stumbles out the corner. This gives Melody the chance to hit a bulldog with perfect accuracy! Holly’s head is driven into the canvas, and soon her whole body is being covered for a fall…. ONE! TWO! No! Melody begins dragging Holly off the canvas. However, her efforts are stomped out by an eye rake. This would earn a warning from the referee, but Holly rudely silences him before he can speak. COACH Hahaha! Holly got that man shook! Holly cinches in a front facelock, and then hooks hold of Melody’s black tights. She then lifts her up for a vertical suplex but Melody counters with a suplex of her own! She quickly floats over into the cover… ONE! TWO! Holly with the kickout! BRANNIGAN We were so close to seeing what might be considered a minor upset. Melody patiently waits for Holly to rise. Once The Angel of Death does so Melody sets her up for her reverse playmaker. But as she begins her fall, Holly slides out her grasp! This causes Melody to fall to the ground in a very vulnerable position. BRANNIGAN Melody might be in trouble in that position. Indeed she is as Holly hooks onto her legs. The vulgar redhead then falls backwards and slingshots Melody towards the corner. Player One smashes chest first into posts and lets out a hurt groan. BRANNIGAN Melody is still in trouble, you never want to have your back turned to your foe. Holly runs forwards and drives both her knees into Melody’s back! Melody staggers backwards, off balance and dazed. As such Holly is able to grab her with a front facelock. She hooks onto Melody’s leg, then swings her around with a twisting fisherman’s suplex. BRANNIGAN The Mirage! The referee drops into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall, and advancing to the finals of the Crystal division….HOLLLLYYYYYYY! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BRANNIGAN With this victory Holly will face Maggie Nerdly next week in the Crystal Division finals. She’s put herself on step closer to Hell In The Cell. Risking his life and health, the referee raises Holly’s hand in victory. This is a risk that bears no rewards; Holly boots him in the stomach and nails him with a Percussion DDT! BRANNIGAN Come on! That’s just not right. Holly exits the ring with a hearty laugh over the pain and injury she’s just caused on this HeldDOWN~!WOULD YOU LIKE BUTTER WITH THOSE PANCAKES? LUMBERJACK MATCH...NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 BRANNIGAN Welcome back to the longest running in-joke in history. Tony Brannigan and Da Coach back with you live from Charleston, South Carolina. Wait a minute. I’m being told there’s some commotion backstage. We have a camera crew on the way. Backstage we go where BARON WINDELS is being assaulted by THE DEADLY ALLIANCE. REJECT Pick him up! Pick him up! TK and Sandman bring BW to his feet so Reject can hammer away on the Lone Star Gunslinger. OAOAST officials finally rush in to restore order but the damage has been done. REJECT You tell Alf I want Baron suspended. He tried to attack me. I only acted in self defense. BARON Screw you. *spits at Reject’s feet* REJECT Reject is restrained by OAOAST officials and the DA. One of the officials on scene is Terry Taylor, sporting a HEADSET. TERRY (holding hand to ear, then nods) Guys, I got a message for both of you straight from the boss himself. He’s not going to waste any resources trying to figure out who started the fight. Instead he wants you both to pick a partner for a tag match right here next week. REJECT What?! I’m the victim! Terry refuses to hear anymore from Reject and has the entire DA escorted away. COACH I thought the OAOAST was recession proof, Tony? What’s Alf doing counting pennies? BRANNIGAN I like the move. Let them settle it in the ring instead of pussyfooting around. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Lumberjack Match! Surrounding half of the ring, the members of the Cucaracha Kingdom look on as "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits. Not exactly feeling like the greatest man that ever lived right now, a morose James Blonde makes his way out. Blonde lacks his usual swagger and tries to psyche himself up as he approaches the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada! Weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds... representing THE CUCARACHA KINGDOM! He is "THE TRENDSETTER"... JJJAAAAAMMMMMEEEESSSSSS... BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde makes his way up the steps and looks down to his King for some encouragement. A thumbs up is offered. But that doesn't seem to cheer Blonde up too much. BRANNIGAN The gauntlet very much laid down to James Blonde here tonight. Win and he will be a part of the Cucaracha Kingdom team at November Reign. Lose and he's out of the King's good book. COACH And if you ask me, this is great leadership from a great leader. This is going to fire up JB big style. He's gonna be like a whirlwind, you watch. As Blonde prepares himself for this important match, "Mother" by Danzig powers out. The opposition lumberjacks lead the way, lead by Megan Skye. Nathaniel Black and Alexander The Brutal, along with Scottish Scott, representing Scott's tag team partner, club-wielding and belt-wearing Danny Boy. BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland! He weighs two hundred and twenty pounds... one half of THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND and one third of the reigning OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions... DDAAAAAAAANNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY BBOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Banging his club on the steps and backing off a couple of the Kingdom lumberjacks, Danny Boy marches up onto the apron. Danny raises his title belt up for the crowd, while on the outside, a venomous look is exchanged between King Landon and Megan Skye. BRANNIGAN Boy, I cannot wait for November Reign. *DINGDINGDING* Bell sounds and Danny sets aside his club and title belt under the corner. Eager to get going, Blonde doesn't wait around and jumps Danny from behind to the approval of his King! COACH See! Whirlwind baby, whirlwind! Blonde hammers away on Danny in the corner and then sends him across with an irish whip. However, as Danny hits the turnbuckles, he bounces right back out and clubs through The Trendsetter with a clothesline! Bouncing back up, Blonde is hit with a second clothesline, this time up and over the top! Danny dares Blonde back in but the Canadian takes time out and waves over the Kingdom for some consolance. BRANNIGAN You know, James really shouldn't be loitering on the outside. Wondering why no-one has come to console him, Blonde looks over his shoulder and spots a smiling Scottish Scott! BLONDE Yelp! Liked a scared cat, Blonde leaps onto the ring apron to get away. Unfortunately Danny Boy is right there and hiptosses Blonde back inside. "YYYAAAAAAAAYYYY!" Blonde tries to calm Danny Boy down and begs off, seeing if they can perhaps come to an understanding. Danny responds with a kick to the gut. Understand that. Irish whip sends Blonde off for a BAAAAACK bodydrop and the King looks on intently. BRANNIGAN I didn't bring this up earlier, but I'm beginning to wonder, what's Landon's motivation here? How disappointed would King Landon actually be if Blonde wasn't on his Survivor Series team? COACH Are you kidding? James is the heir apparent. Of course he wants him on the team. Assuming he wins, of course. BRANNIGAN Of course. Hammering away in the corner, Danny Boy shouts out to the fans and whips Blonde across the ring. The Trendsetter manages to ward off danger, floating up and over out of the corner, but makes the mistake of gloating and ends up getting hit with a clothesline anyway! Cover by Danny... 1... 2... No. Danny drags Blonde up by the hair, dishing out some right hands. Whipping Blonde again, Danny ducks his head too earlier this time though and allows Blonde to counter with a kick. Still groggy, JB falls falls back against the ropes. But when Danny shakes off the kick and comes charging at him, Blonde manages to duck and pull the rope down! Danny manages to land on the apron, allowing Blonde to spring off the middle rope and dropkick the Scot down to the floor, in enemy territory. BRANNIGAN Uh-oh. And now Danny Boy is surrounded. Smug as can be Blonde strolls away, expecting a beating to be put on his opponent. Instead, King Landon orders Rico and Lucius to simply throw Danny back inside. BRANNIGAN Well that was... suspiciously fair. COACH Yeah, what's the deal? Blonde seems confused, but doesn't dare to argue with the King and gets on with attacking Danny himself. Dropping knees to the ribs, Blonde drags Danny Boy away from the ropes and hits an elbow for a cover... 1... 2... No. As the King patrols around with great interest, Blonde hauls Danny back up. Connecting with a couple of forearms, The Trendsetter whips Danny into a corner and turns to King Landon for some approval. Blonde then charges in and catches a back elbow. BRANNIGAN Blonde ran into that one. Took his eye off the match, you can't do that, I don't care how much you want to impress Landon. Danny charges out of the corner but Blonde is able to leapfrog and escape. Tucking into the corner, Blonde lures Danny Boy in and catches him with a boot. Blonde then goes up to the middle rope, but gets caught coming down with a tackle in mid-air! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Scotsman is urged on by Megan, at which point King Landon starts to urge on Blonde. BRANNIGAN Suddenly Landon gets a bit more vocal. Funny timing, that. COACH Are you suggesting he's just trying to compete with Megan? BRANNIGAN Seems that way, doesn't it? Back up, Danny Boy slugs away at Blonde with right hands and shoots him into the ropes again. A scoop is slipped out of by Blonde, landing on his feet behind Danny. Danny switches out of a waistlock though and hits a back suplex. BRANNIGAN You know, Blonde being on the team or not, a loss here wouldn't be great momentum for the Cucaracha Kingdom. I'm sure King Landon realises that, at least. Blonde staggers back up and Danny Boy mows him down with a clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... No! Setting Blonde up, Danny goes for a powerbomb. Finding himself hoisted up in the air Blonde panics, but manages to fire down with some right hands and escape. Landing on his feet, Blonde quickly goes low and dropkicks out the leg. Danny Boy falls to one knee and Blonde hits the ropes. But Danny finds his feet and counters with a Flapjack! Frustrated, the King turns away as Danny Boy makes a pin... 1... 2... No! BRANNIGAN Blonde is clinging on here, literally clinging on to his spot on the Cucaracha Kingdom team! Getting to his feet Danny looks fired up and the Six Man Tag Team Champion bellows at Blonde to get back up. The Trendsetter props himself up in the corner, looking dazed. Danny plays a quick blast of air bagpipes before charging in... but Blonde sneaks over the top and rolls Danny out of the corner! King Landon suddenly looks interested again and peers in... 1... 2... NO! COACH Almost caught him! C'mon James, that's more like it. Blonde gets to his feet and charges in recklessly, resulting in a Spinebuster for his trouble! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH You know, I don't think this is the performance the King was hoping for. BRANNIGAN Or, maybe it was. Retreating into a corner, Danny lays in wait, waving Blonde back up. A spear is in his mind, but his mind isn't on his surroundings. And that allows Rico to reach into the ring and snatch Danny Boy's ankle. Danny turns around to yell at the Brazilian, but gets hit with a clothesline into the turnbuckles! Blonde then follows up with the Bulldog and hooks the leg tight... 1... 2... No! The King eyes Rico up from afar, as Black and Scott hound the Hellfire Club for their interference. Meanwhile Blonde prepares to pounce. He grabs Danny Boy from behind and tries to put on the cobra clutch. But Danny drops down and hip blocks Blonde off of him. BRANNIGAN We've got some tension simmering on the outside here, a few words going back and forth. But the action is thankfully all in the ring, for now. Rolling to his feet Blonde swings and misses with a clothesline. Danny Boy comes off the ropes, but the Canadian recovers and leaps up to connect with a dropkick! COACH Nice! Blonde sees his chance with Danny Boy down. But instead of going for the cover, he tries for the Lionsault... and MISSES! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Ah! Not so nice! Getting up holding his ribs Blonde presents a wounded target for Danny Boy and a big SPEAR! 1... 2... NO! Expecting a three, King Landon hovers in mid-motion and calms down as he realises it was two. BRANNIGAN Landon looked like he was about to celebrate. COACH He did not! Dragging Blonde up by the hair, Danny calls for the end. Setting Blonde up over his back the Scot prepares to spike him with the back to front piledriver, but Blonde manages to slip out. Rolling down the back, Blonde tries a sunset flip. But Danny Boy rolls through. He grabs hold of Blonde's legs and falls back, slingshotting The Trendsetter into the turnbuckles face first! BRANNIGAN Flung him like a catapult! I'm sure the King is familiar with those, being so royal and ye olde and all that stuff. Stumbling back, Blonde is lifted up for the back to front tombstone again! Again Blonde squirms and wriggles and manages to slip out. But this time Danny Boy sits down, blocking the sunset flip and crushing Blonde's chest! BRANNIGAN Cover! 1... 2... Kickout! BRANNIGAN Blonde's dreams almost got crushed there. Literally! COACH If Blonde wants to make this team, he'd better step it up quick... As Blonde gets back up again Danny prepares to strike and goes for the Spear again... ...but as he hits the ropes, he gets STRUCK in the back of the head by Rico!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" As Danny goes down though, Rico gets shoves by Lucius, who isn't happy with his partner interfering! COACH Woah woah woah, guys! What are you doing? BRANNIGAN I think Lucius isn't happy that Rico's helping Blonde! If Blonde wins, that's one less spot for them on the team! While Rico and Lucius continue to bicker, Blonde doesn't look a gifthorse in the mouth and quickly grabs Danny, putting on the cobra clutch and hitting ILLEGALLY BLONDE!! King Landon looks on at all this chaos and stares in as Blonde hooks Danny Boy up... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BRANNIGAN And just like that, James Blonde steals one! And he's going to November Reign! COACH Uhm... yay... I think. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE TRENDSETTER" JJJAAAAAMMMEEEESSSS BBLLLOOOOONNDDEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Blonde sits up and punches the air in jubilation, unaware that he's the only one celebrating. King Landon continues to stand and stare at the ring, before staring at the arguement that continues to go on between Rico and Lucius. And while Scottish Scott and Nathaniel Black argue with the referee, the King is forced to step in and try to calm down his Knights. BRANNIGAN Oh boy. We've got some ructions in the Kingdom! Looking around wondering where his teammates are, Blonde seems understandably disappointed to see the King too busy separating Rico and Lucius to congratulate him. Rico and Lucius continue to bicker back and forth as King Landon and Motozaki hold them apart. And while the King tries to calm everyone down, he happens to glance over at Megan, who looks over at all this commotion and raises an eyebrow. BRANNIGAN Don't tell me, the all powerful leader is losing control of the troops before November Reign. COACH Settle down. Ain't nothin'. Just a bit of a disagreement. BRANNIGAN Looks like a big bit of a disagreement to me. Megan rounds up the Europeans, who aren't happy with the result of the match. But Megan seems fairly pleased with what she's seen and takes her guys to the back, leaving the King looking embarrassed and struggling to keep a united front. And still no-one pays attention enough to congratulate poor James.STILL TO COME... YOUR MAINEVENT #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH: MR. DICK vs. TIM CASH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Anglesault's "Medal" theme rings out throughout the arena, instantly drawing the ire of every fan in attendance tonight. From the 6 year old girls wearing Krista shirts to the hipsters in vintage In Crowd gear, not a one is cheering when Anglesault walks out, followed by his "chosen few" of Jason Silver, Bohemoth, and the "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez. Also joining the company founder are the members of VICE, as well as James Riggs, who have come here tonight decked out in suits a la Anglesault and Co. TONY Looks like Anglesault has expanded the roster a bit! COACH Yeah, he's expanding his, but he's trimming ours! Anglesault wastes no time in motioning for the microphone, as the six men accompanying him form a line-up behind him. ANGLESAULT People in the crowd, and those of you at home, take a good long look. Look at this ring, and the talent involved in it. More importantly, look at the men that stand before you, because these men are the men that you should all strive to be like! The crowd definitely didn't like that one, and the booing proves it. ANGLESAULT When I returned several months ago, I brought three men with me. Three men who were tired of playing the games and getting the runaround. I brought Bohemoth back with me, a man who had tired of the games long, long ago. A man whose every attempt at a revolution was cut off prematurely by selfish glory hogs! Bohemoth was made to play second fiddle to people that he easily overshadows, and for a long time he did nothing except cash his checks and fight other people's battles...until now. Now, he knows his true calling, and unlike you people, who continue to boo and disrespect me, he is grateful that he finally has the chance to shine! Bo, eyes hidden by his trademark shades, mouths "thank you" when Anglesault turns to him, and Riggs pats him on the back. ANGLESAULT I also saved Todd Cortez, a man you people loved! A man whose name you cheered, who you jumped out of your seats for every time he was about to hit that Riot Act Plus, except now you don't do that anymore. Now you fear Todd Cortez. You feel as though he's turned on you, when it fact it's quite the opposite...you all have turned on him! He's still the same man, still working hard for his family, except now he's not being taken advantage of. He nearly lost his job, his livelihood, because of Zack Malibu's attempts to take this company from me! You people out there know what it's like to struggle, to need money, to live, to survive. Todd Cortez tried to survive by doing what he thought was the right thing, until he realize that Zack Malibu was wrong all along. Todd was blinded, brainwashed...but not anymore. Like Bohemoth, Todd knows that this company is ready to be reborn, and he is all too happy to help purge the disease that has caused it to lose its glory. Anglesault then turns, and smirks as he points out his flesh and blood. ANGLESAULT Then we have my nephew. Jason Silver. A young man that didn't try to name drop, use his connections, or expect to be spoiled. He went to OAOVW on his own dime and within weeks...WEEKS...was being called a future Anglemania main eventer. So why is it that you people didn't see him on your television screens until two months ago? Because certain people feared his God given talent. Certain people feared that a new generation were going to take the spotlight. Just like the Civil War, just like the Wildcards coming over from the SWF, just like every superstar who has mounted a comeback, it was all squashed, killed, dead on arrival thanks to the god damn puppet master Zack Malibu pulling all the strings! You people continue to ask what I want, and why I am trying to eliminate all traces of Zack Malibu from this company. You people ask why I want to eradicate the majority of freaks that populate that locker room and remain on the payroll. The simple fact is, I'm a guilty man. It's MY fault that things got out of hand the way they did. I was the first man to make the ultimate mistake...to trust Zack Malibu. Once I realized I couldn't trust him, I remained greedy, and let the dollar signs blind me. I thought I could milk the cow for all it was worth, and instead it brought me nothing except legal fees and a sense of disgust that I was somewhat at fault for the derailment of these mens' careers! So I took a good long look in the mirror two months ago, before we came out here and destroyed this ring, and I swore that the OAOAST as you all know it will be GONE. I am returning this company to the vision that I had for it...not the pipe dreams of Zack Malibu and his band of merry men. Anglesault turns, and now his attention is focused on Christopher Patrick Allan, Tango Bosley, and James Riggs. ANGLESAULT See these men? This is not a stable, nor are these men being rewarded for any services. The men you see before you...CPA, Tango Bosley, and James Riggs, have acted on their own accord. They have done what they've done lately because they AGREE. They too are tired of the games, of the politics, of the inmates running the asylum. They are on board, and have sworn to me that they will do whatever is in their power to assist in my mission to take my company back! This is far beyond a group of wrestlers wanting power. This is a group of men wanting their LIVES back. These are men who eat, sleep, and breathe this sport, and for years...YEARS...they have dreaded this place. They have grown jaded, disgusted, enraged, and now I have finally given them the outlet to release that frustration in a positive way. People like the Orange County Cobras think they can rally the troops and take up the cause, but little do they realize that eventually they will be an island unto themselves. That locker room has a simple choice...follow or fail. Michael Cole has failed. Josh Matthews has failed. Rick Martel has failed. The OCC, your heroes, your favorites, have FAILED. Anyone who wants to follow their lead, you should not expect anything different. Anglesault sneers as he looks deep into the hard camera, but he doesn't have much time to reflect on his final thought, as "Slither" starts playing, and the Angletron showcases the two men and a lady that appear on the stage within moments...none other than the Orange County Cobras and Molly Nerdly! Riggs appears to take great offense to this, as he takes off his suit jacket and throws it down, then acts as if he's going to go after them, but Anglesault keeps his group calm despite the interruption. BLANCHARD Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk TALK TALK! That's all you do, Anglesault! You like to brag, too. You brag about how you took out Michael Cole and Josh Matthews and Rick Martel. You brag about how Zack Malibu is stuck on the corporate side while you're back in our ring and on our TV shows... ANGLESAULT Our? Last time I checked, you had no stake in any OAOAST broadcast or this ring. You are an employee, plain and simple. BLANCHARD You're damn right I'm an employee, because I WORK for what I've got. So does Simon here, and Molly, and a whole crew of guys in the back. Now you may have a group of ass kissers around you, but me and Simon here ain't never been very good at being yes men. You come at us from behind, you bust us open, make us bleed, and think that's going to scare us off? Son, you'd better think again, because all you've done is pissed us off. So that's why we got a little proposition for ya. ANGLESAULT Proposition? You never struck me as a businessman, Ned. BLANCHARD Well, the way I see it, is you've got (starts counting and pointing with his finger) six guys standing in that ring. I don't care if you say that you're a stable or a group or a team or a god damn bunch of cheerleaders. All we need is five of you for what we want, a little traditional throwdown at November Reign! ANGLESAULT You want to take on five of my guys? I knew you weren't a good businessman but I didn't know you were stupid. The two of you against... BLANCHARD Whoa, hold on there AS. There's more than just the two of us. With that, Ned lowers the mic, and "Solar Midnite" hits, bringing out Shayne Brave, Tyler Bryant, and their managers Jade and Maya! TONY The challenge was thrown out, and it looks like the Cobras have added a few more allies to the resistance! COACH That's still only four, Tony B. I thought it was five on fi- Before Coach can finish, the smooth sounds of Stevie Wonder's "Master Blaster" pumps up the crowd, as the OAOAST Heartland Champion DENZEL SPENCER comes bouncing out of the back, working the crowd up before shaking hands with The Cobras and D*LUX. TONY How about that for rounding out a squad!? Denzel Spencer, the Heartland Champion, showing that he won't be swayed by Anglesault's ultimatums! Anglesault fumes, and his group starts to talk amongst themselves, as Ned takes the mic again. BLANCHARD I told you there were more of us! So, what's it gonna be? The Orange County Cobras, D*LUX, and Denzel Spencer against...now which five asses do you think we should kick, Simon? SINGLETON Well, I don't know about you, but I'm down to kick all of them, especially the one in the suit right there! BLANCHARD Which one? The steroid freak? Or the three hundred pound gay guy? SINGLETON Bosley's GAY? BLANCHARD No, Bo! ANGLESAULT ENOUGH of this. This is EXACTLY what I mean when I say this company has strayed from my original intentions. The last thing you're going to do is treat this as a game, because I can assure you it's not. D*LUX, and Mr. Spencer, I can only offer condolences in advance, because you've just signed the death warrants on your careers. You want a match at November Reign, well, you'll have it. My nephew Jason, Todd Cortez, Bohemoth, and VICE will be more than happy to put you all in the hospital beds you belong in, and after that, if the girls are lucky, we might just break a finger or two. BLANCHARD Well, just make sure it ain't these two. Ned drops the mic, and proceeds to raise his arms and flip off Anglesault and company, drawing their ire...especially Riggs, who kicks the ropes and threatens to run out of the ring again. The Cobras music hits, signaling their exit, as D*LUX, Spencer, Ned, Simon, and all their ladyfriends look back at the ring. TONY What a bombshell dropped here tonight! The resistance continues to grow, as the Heartland Champion and D*LUX have pledged their allegiance to the Orange County Cobras! November Reign is shaping up to be quite the show! COACH Yo, true, but do you realize how angry Anglesault must be now? They ain't callin' it the Boston Massacre for nothin', Tony B! TONY We'll find out just what a massacre it's going to be in two weeks time, but until then the tension continues to rise. Who else will crack under Anglesault's influence, or will the resistance break the bond that has formed between the company founder and his chosen few? If I were you fans, I wouldn't miss any of it! We'll be back, right after this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Back live and the crowd is still JAKKED despite only 2 matches in an hour and a half! BRANNIGAN Before we head back to the ring for our main event, let's take a look back at some of the action from last year's November Reign event.NOVEMBER REIGN 2009 COURTESY: OAOAST HOME ENTERTAINMENTLeon Rodez leaps into the ring, and stares at Alf and Alix with a look that’s full of pure venom. Suddenly Leon pounces like a snake, swinging his fist at Alf. The two time world champion ducks the other two time world champion’s attack. Leon spins around to get a read on Alf and is met with super fast right jabs. Rodez attempts to escape towards a corner. But Alf stalks his path, and throws Leon under heavy fire. COLE Look at the foursome we’re left with, world champion Reject, two time world champion Leon Rodez, two time world champion Alfdogg, and four time tag team champion Alix Maria Spezia. It doesn’t get much better than that. Growing sick of being mercilessly pounded, Leon resorts to cheap tactics and grabs onto Alf’s hair to yank him against the top rope. Alf falls over, put under distressing amount of pain. He crawls away from Leon, clutching his sore jaw. Behind him Leon takes a run of the ropes, rebounding to strike Alf in the head with double knee drop. “LET’S GO ALF! LEON SUCKS! LET’S GO ALF! LEON SUCKS!” the fans chant. In response to this, Leon targets one of their favorites by shoving Alix off the ring apron. “Ooooooh that does it, meanine!” Alix hollers before attempting to get back into the ring to face Leon. But she’s halted by Earl Hebner, who seeks to keep the peace between these two rivals. Leon returns to Alf and is welcomed with several PAINFUL knife edge chops. COLE No body does chopping better than Alfdogg. Whoooooo! Leon is granted a short respite, thanks to Reject distracting Alf. Alf does away with the bothersome world champion and rushes back towards Leon. Leon attempts to hit him with a straight left. But Alf ducks down and SPEARS Leon with brutal force “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Alf attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Reject breaks up the pin with an axe handle smash to Alf’s back. Frustrated beyond all belief, Alf begins tear at Reject’s chest with his trademark chops. Reject has no intention of being beaten down by chops, and simply punts his former mentor between the uprights. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans disapprove, having to watch Alf sag down to his knees. Their mood gets even worse when Leon hits the One Hit Kill (spinning back heelkick to the face.)! COACH Hahhahhaa! Put that dogg to sleep, his ass is done! So thinks Leon Rodez as he hooks both of Alf’s leg for a cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” ~~~~~~~~ ELIMINATED: ALFDOGG BY: LEON RODEZ REMAINING TEAM MEMBERS ON TEAM ALFIX: ALIX ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE A cheap shot did in Alfdogg and its just Alix against two men with three world championships between them. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the sold out fans sing, as their heroine enters the ring. She stares down Leon once more, the heat between them burning as hot as the most powerful of furnace “Hey, what’s that?” She asks through a grin. “What’s what?”BAM! “Its my hand upside your face, btich!” she screams before she unleashes a hell storm of punches against Rodez’s face. The fans continue to cheer her on as she batters at Rodez, and attempts to irish whip him. But The Fallen Idol reverses and pulls atop his shoulders for a standing fireman’s carry. COLE What’s this? Alix slides out after a major struggle for her freedom. Upon landing on the mat she whips her tennis shoes back at Leon with a spinning round house. But Rodez slides out the way, narrowly avoiding decapitation. Rodez springs to his feet and takes another run at Alix. But the Hollywood Bad Girl and her white booty shorts take down Leon with a BUTT bump. As Rodez struggles to his feet, Alix leaps onto the second rope. The minute Rodez is fully upright, The Hollywood Bad Girl springs forward and takes him out with a spear that comes Straight Outta Comprton! The fans cheer while Alix covers Leon…. ONE! TWO! Leon with the kickout. He comes back to his feet, and slinks to the corner next to his own. Alix screams like a savage on the warpath and charges in, leaping with a body splash. But Rodez slides out the way and poor Alix has a miserable collision with the ring posts. This allows Rodez to slide down his corner and apply a tag to Reject. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Here comes the champ, riding on top of the world! The world champion rushes into the ring, beating at Alix with heavy kicks and punches. Having doubled up Alix, Reject coils his arms around her neck and then falls backwards to drive her neck into the ground with a DDT. Alix groans in agony, as Reject makes the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix finds her way out the pinfall. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Reject grabs Alix by the back of her tube top and then throws her into the ropes. On the return, she catches onto her and flips her to the canvas with a powerslam! Hook of the leg, and a cover… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Reject shoots Hebner a frustrated glare as he begins to pull Alix up by the arm. He traps her inside a front facelock, holds onto her booty shorts and then dumps her backwards with a vertical suplex. He then eagerly floats over with a cover…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! Alix crawls to the ropes, and uses them as support to bring herself upright. She leans against the turnbuckle posts, bone weary and exhausted. From that position she’s thrown under attack by Reject. He rushes forward and clobbers her with a turnbuckle lariat. She stumbles away from the corner, allowing Reject to ascend to the second rope. He flies off with speed, dragging her down with a second rope bulldog. A pinfall results… ONE! TWO! Alix amazes the fans and frustrates Reject and Leon with another kickout! “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Having exhausted all his methods for victory, a dejected Reject begrudgingly makes the tag with Leon Rodez. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses, watching Rodez step through the cables. COLE From one hated villain to the next, Reject tags in his rival Leon Rodez. Leon grabs hold of Alix in a vertical suplex position, and then situates her atop the ring posts! He then climbs upwards, seeking to catch her in hear weakest moment. But Alix shows great strength and resiliency and fights back against Rodez! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the OAOAST Marks sing, as Alix trades shots with Rodez. Unable to win a boxing match atop the turnbuckles, Alix finds another way to score victory ; she BITES Rodez nipples! “OOOOOOWWWWW!” Leon shrieks before Alix releases him and shoves him to the canvas. Understandably outraged Leon attempts to charge back at Ally. But the Los Angeles native dismounts the turnbuckles and strikes him in the face with a dropkick! As the audience cheers wildly, Alix attempts a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Rodez with the kickout! He hastily returns to his feet, but finds himself hammered by Alix’s slaps and punches. Eventually he’s taken off his feet entirely by a dropsault! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans joy doesn’t last for very long, as Reject enters the ring to get at Alix. But The Hollywood Bad Girl intercepts his arrival with a spinning wheel kick! Reject goes down hard and Alix pops up to deal with Rodez. But Leon gets hold of her first, rolling her up with a pin. ONE! TWO! Alix reverses into a pin of her own! ONE! TWO! Leon reverses! ONE! TWO! Alix reverses! ONE! TWO!REJECT WITH THE EULOGY ON ALIX! COLE Damn it! No! Leon falls on top of Alix for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!”WINNER: TEAM LEJECT SURVIVORS: LEON RODEZ & REJECTTHE THANKSGIVING WEEKEND TRADITION RETURNS... NOVEMBER REIGN: BOSTON MASSACRE 2 SUNDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 28 LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Its Not My Time” powers out the speakers to a solid ovation from the OAOAST Galaxy. The entrance doors come apart to allow Tim Cash to step forward. With a huge smile spreading across his face he heads down the entry way. On the ramp he offers as many handshakes and warm nods as he can possibly manage to the front row fans. BUFFER The following contest is to determine the number one contender for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Peoria, Illinois, weighing in at two hundred twenty pounds, he is Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy…..TIIIIIIMMMMM CCAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHH! BRANNIGAN Tim Cash has earned his chance at competing for the OAOAST World Title by winning that costume battle royal at the Halloween Spectacular. COACH Can you believe the nerve of this goof? Saying Mister Dick doesn’t deserve a shot at the world title, and then saying he meant no disrespect. What a two faced little ass this guy is. Upon entering the ring, Cash has a friendly chat with the official, discussing the day’s events. I'm just the thorne in your side, The disrespect in your eye, I can't control myself. I'm like the stain in your drain, I'm taking over your brain, 'Cuz I can't help myself. Every time I turn my head, I hear everything they said I know they wish I'd go away. Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. Here I am again, Hey now, hey now, I'm the mother fucker of the year. A fiery wave of boos comes over the arena as the chaps clad Mister Dick slides through a golden shower of pyro. Behind him stands the leather and lace bound Malaysia, who massages her man’s shoulders and prepares him for battle. BUFFER And the opponent, being accompanied by Malaysia Nerdly, he hails from San Antonio, Texas, he is THE HUMAN HARD ON, MISSSTTTERRRR DIIIIICCKKKKKK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mister Dick wastes no time in allowing Cash to acclimate himself; he pounces upon the Good Guy and begins hammering him with forearms. He then sends Cash into the ropes, and bounces off the cables himself. At their meeting point, Cash’s head is violently snapped back by a Stiff Kick. BRANNIGAN Right off the bat Mister Dick nails a big move! Mister Dick mounts Cash and begins plastering his face with powerful punches! Referee Charles Robinson warns The Cocky Prick over his illegal tactics. This draws Mister Dick away from Cash and into the referee’s face. Taking his eye off his foe would normally lead to disaster. But Cash is too nice to surprise MD and instead gently taps him on the shoulder. Not sharing in Cash’s kindness, MD tackles him to the ground in order to strangle him! This draws a count from the referee… ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Mister Dick reluctantly breaks on the five. He gets to his feet so that he may use them to brutally stomp his adversary. Having Cash weakened, Mister Dick excuses himself in order to remove the padding on the top turnbuckle. After tossing the pad into the stands, the Human Hard On grabs Cash and attempts to ram him into the exposed steel. But Cash blocks the attack, and stuns MD with a side Russian leg sweep! BRANNIGAN Great counter by Tim Cash. Rather than throw MD into the steel of the post, Cash actually returns the pad to its proper home. COACH Is this clown for real? You’ve got an advantage. Use it! BRANNIGAN Its not in Tim’s character to take shortcuts. I applaud him for that. Thinking Cash distracted, Mister Dick bounces off the ropes, expecting to nail a lariat. But Cash nails a standing enziguri, flipping MD over to the ground and causing him severe pain. BRANNIGAN CLASSIC Tim Cash! As the audience cheers the signature strike, Cash picks MD off the canvas. He hurls him into the corner, and then tries to follow up with a corner lariat. But The Human Hard On comes rumbling out the corner and lacerates Cash with a lariat of his own. MD orders the referee to get into position as he goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Cash gets his right shoulder up! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustrated with the failed pinfall, MD snatches Cash into a reverse chinlock. Malaysia pounds on the canvas, demanding Cash submit at once. Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy refuses to give up, however, and quickly begins fighting to his feet. BRANNIGAN I don’t think Mister Dick has Tim worn down enough for that move to work. Cash begins pumping elbows into MD’s midsection in an effort to find his freedom. His tactics work as MD is forced to release him. With his foe stunned for the moment, Cash runs to the ropes. He returns with a lariat that’s ducked by MD. The Texan then grabs hold of Cash into a full nelson and gives him a Pure Penetration! BRANNIGAN Devestating! As Malaysia giggles on the outside, Mister Dick hooks onto Cash’s legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Malaysia takes up the task of arguing with poor Robinson, issuing numerous threats while doing so. Meanwhile Mister Dick shoves Cash into the corner. Trapped against the turnbuckles, the Peoria native is stomped in the stomach by the two time world champion. After finishing that up, Mister Dick whips Cash across the ring to the opposite corner. As Cash deals with the pain from the impact of his crash, Mister Dick grabs his crotch and sneers at the audience. “YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK!” MD darts at Cash, lowering his shouder so that he may cut through his stomach. However, the ultimate gentleman slides out the way and Mister Dick’s shoulder collides with the steel post. Mister Dick screams out in a mixture of pain and frustration. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN These people love to see Mister Dick in pain. Cash begins to quite literally kick Mister Dick’s ass. That tactic grows weak overtime, and Cash is forced to bring MD away from the turnbuckles. He hits a simple body slam that’s followed up with a leg drop. Mister Dick sits up clutching his sore chest. Yet, more than his chest begins to hurt as Cash kicks him square in the face. COACH That’s supposed to be a Good Guy, someone who just punts you in the face? BRANNIGAN Its well within the rules. Cash allows Mister Dick to get to his feet under his own will power, and even allows him to assume a fighting stance. Mister Dick considers this to be a foolish tactic and charges at Cash to prove it. But the Peoria native has the last laugh when he drop toe holds Mister Dick to the ground! The Human Hard On’s handsome face smacks off the canvas, leaving him in a terrible pain. Cash rolls him onto his back for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick makes a crucial kickout! BRANNIGAN We were one second away from a Tim Cash/Alix Maria Spezia mainevent at November Regin. Cash pulls Mister Dick off the canvas and sends him into the ropes. The Peroia native makes the mistake of lowering his head, and MD makes him pay with a fameasser! COACH ATM! Ass to mouth! A BUTT kisser like Cash probably has a lot of experience with that. Mister Dick smiles to himself as he pins Cash’s shoulders to the canvas… ONE! TWO! No! “LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY!” BRANNIGAN The OAOAST Galaxy has always been behind Tim Cash. Tonight is no different. Cash is brought to his feet and slashed in the stomach by MD’s cowboy boots. Wrestling’s Last Real Good Guy is then slammed into the corner. The Human Hard On steps onto the second turnbuckle and pummels Cash with punches! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! CROTCH CHOP~!!~! TEN! Cash stumbles out the corner, in seeming daze. While he aimlessly wanders the ring, Mister Dick takes off to the ropes. He comes back with a lariat aimed at Cash’s head. But Cash grabs onto the nearby ropes and lowers them, causing MD to take a disastrous tumble to the outside! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH That’s cheap! You can’t beat the guy in the ring so you dump him outside! Cash follows Mister Dick to the outside. But instead of staying on his foe, Cash decides to give handshakes and warm greetings to the nearby fans. COACH This guy’s in the middle of a number one contender’s match and he’s glad handing with the fellas. After making sure to wish as many fans as possible a good day, Cash returns to the task of beating Mister Dick. He rolls him onto the apron, then joins his position. Problematically, Mister Dick recovers his strength and begins hammering Cash in the stomach with powerful punches. Mister Dick grabs onto Cash’s hair, then jumps forward to execute a face crusher onto the Thanksgiving themed announce table! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BRANNIGAN Good lord! In celebration of his brutal attack, Mister Dick grabs a handful of Malaysia’s ass and seductively tongues her ear! BRANNIGAN The question now becomes can Mister Dick take advantage of this opening. While jawing with the audience, Mister Dick fetches a bloodied Cash from the flooring. He stuffs him back inside the squared circle, and offers the crowd one last crotch chop. BRANNIGAN Cash is busted open and things aren’t looking good for him. Inside the ring, Mister Dick hooks onto Cash’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! No! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH I don’t know how that man just kicked out. BRANNIGAN Tim cash is a never say die type of competitor. He’s a great inspiration to our fans and to his fellow performers. Mister Dick stands above Cash’s fallen body, taunting him crotch grabs and vulgar words. But its Cash who has the last laugh as he drags MD to the canvas with a leg lock takedown! Cash quickly springs to his feet and begins stomping away at MD. COACH Kicking a man when he’s down, that ain’t very nice. The fans pop as Cash begins twisting MD into the Midwest Sling (Texas Cloverleaf). But MD makes a frantic crawl to the ropes, and grabs onto them for salvation. This does little to help him further as Cash pulls him away from the cables. The Good Guy snares hold of MD’s leg, and twists his own leg around it. He then drops to the ground sandwhiching MD’s leg between his and the canvas. MD groans in pain while the fans applaud Cash’s performance thus far. BRANNIGAN What Tim Cash is doing is cutting the bigger man down to size. Cash drapes MD’s leg across the bottom rope, then leaps into the air and drives his knee across it! Even worse for The Human Hard On, Cash repeats the tactic. Howling his agony, MD rolls back to the center of the ring. He makes a slow trip to his feet, only to be kicked down again by Cash. COACH I gotta give props to Tim Cash he’s showing me a lot right here. Still don’t think he can win, but he’s showing me something. Mister Dick fights his way upright, but finds himself trapped inside a front facelock from the former EMT. BRANNIGAN I don’t believe Mister Dick has ever submitted in OAOAST history, Coach. COACH He ain’t going to either. MD throws punch after punch into Cash’s midsection, and eventually is released from the hold. This does him little good as a dropkick sends him toppling to the canvas. He tries to quickly scramble to his feet, but is captured inside another front facelock. “CASH IS MONEY! CASH IS MONEY! CASH IS MONEY!” MD returns to the tactic of slamming punches into Cash’s stomach. Once again it pays dividens, as he’s able to release himself from Cash’s bonds. MD puts himself off the ropes, but meets with a knee on his return. However, he craftily transforms that into a school boy for himself… ONE! TWO! Cash pops out the pin! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Both men speed to their feet with MD throwing out a lariat. But Cash ducks the attack, and kicks MD in the back of the leg. He then executes a German Suplex, birding it into a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Kickout! MD hops upright, but is immediately attacked in the leg by his rival. The blows back MD into the corner, where Cash continues to batter his leg. Once through with that , Cash attempts to whip MD to the opposite corner. But MD reverses the hold and sends Cash right into the referee! CASH Feeling instant concern for the referee, Cash immediate bends over to check on his condition. Its at that moment that Mister Dick nails him with the fameasser! COACH ATM! BRANNIGAN Dirty pool by Mister Dick. COACH Cash shouldn’t have taken his eye of Mister Dick. You’re the one who always says you have to keep your eye on your foe. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” a gigantic pop speeds through the stands as world champion Alix Maria Spezia rushes down the ramp. COACH What does she want? Alix slides into the ring and is immediately confronted by Mister Dick. Alix wastes no time with words and responds by nailing The Human Hard On with her world title belt! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans celebrate as Alix exits the ring. There’s little time to bask in the fans adoration for Alix as Malaysia charges her. Alix readies herself for the Canadian’s arrival and the two tough beauties begin tangling on the outside. Alix disposes of Malaysia with an odd quickness thanks to a well timed DDT. Following the rule straight to the letter, Cash refuses to pin Mister Dick after Alix’s attack. Alix pleads with him to claim victory but Cash politely but steadfastly refuses to take advantage of the interference. COACH This guy is just plain stupid! How often does he get a world title shot? Once in his entire career he’s competed for the world title, and he’s passing up another oppurtunity. A sportsman to the very end, Cash actually helps MD to his feet. Unfortunately he gets punched in the face for doing so! COACH Mister Dick runs the ropes and returns to crush Cash’s face with a nasty Stiff Kick! BRANNIGAN CLASSIC Mister Dick! Mister Dick hurls Cash into the corner. After a few crotch chops directed at Alix, The Cocky Prick rushes to Cash’s location and makes him bite his shiny metal dick! Cash stumbles out the corner, walking himself straight into a front facelock. The crowd and Alix panic, knowing full well what’s coming. Mister Dick doesn’t disappoint as he’s slams Cash to the canvas with a Jackhammer! COACH This one is done, son! Mister Dick hooks the legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and new number one contender for the OAOAST World Title….MIIIISSSSTTTEEEERRRR DDDIIIIICCCCCCCKKKKKKK! Malaysia immediately slides into the ring and brings her man to his feet. Both her hands grab a fistful of his ass, as her tongue penetrates his lips for a steamy liplock. BRANNIGAN There we have it, ladies and gentlemen. At November Reign it will be Mister Dick challenging for the world title against champion Alix Maria Spezia! Mister Dick rises to the second turnbuckle and casts a scornful and confident glare at the world champion. Behind him Malaysia massages his buttocks, and verbally affirms his legendary greatness. BRANNIGAN The question remains what stipulation will Mister Dick chose for his world title match against Alix? We’ll find out next week on HeldDOWN~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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