Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 TV 14 L, V, NPRESENTED IN OAOASTHD* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. Fade in on a young man frantically racing through a forest. His breath is heavy, and his steps labored. But he must keep chugging along for a sword wielding headless horseman is pursuing him. MAN Help! Help! The young man cuts through a swath of trees to find himself in a small swamp like area. He believes himself to be safe, and takes a moment to catch his breath. Yet in that moment SWAMP CREATURES emerge from the murky abyss. MAN Oh no! The man speeds out the swamp as the vile monsters begin to lumber from the muddy waters. MAN Gotta get out of here! The man’s run is impeded by a horde of bats that fly at him and peck his exposed body parts. MAN Gah! The man manages to shoe the bats off, and dizzily continues his run. Soon he comes into the city of Nashville proper. MAN Safe at last. However, he isn’t safe, as the city is filled with zombies! These creatures of the undead chase him without halt, eager to feast upon his brains. He darts through the city streets, losing all but one of the zombies. In the distance he notices the Nashville arena and an army of people standing in front. As he gets closer, he sees it to be the OAOAST roster. MAN Help me! Bosley pulls out a gun and shoots the zombie in the head, killing it. MAN Thank god. You saved my life. MONEYMAKER And now we get to take it. BWAAHHHAAAAAAHAAA! The entire roster converges upon the horrified man. His screams fill the air as blood red letters appear on screen…HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR! We’re taken inside the arena for some brilliant firework displays. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! We cut to sofa central, festively decorated for the holiday with pumpkins, orange lights, mummies, and witch cauldrons. BRANNIGAN Hello world! Its Tony Brannigan and Da Coach here live at ringside for the Halloween Spectacular! We hope you've had a night full of treats on this day of trick or treating. Settle in and get ready for the biggest treat of all. COACH A new world champion in Abdullah Abir Nerdly! BRANNIGAN Fans, we've got a fourteen on two elimination match for the OAOAST World title, to top off an evening where Maya Duncan-Blanchard makes her in ring debut, and Baron Windels meets up with Reject. Right now let's throw it over to Maggie Nerdly for more on our mainevent. Cut backstage to Maggie Nerdly standing in front of the COD dressing room. MAGGIE What’s up, guys? Last week on HeldDOWN we saw The Church of Abdullah run into The Duncan family car and then start smashing the thing with bats. That’s the bad news. But what could have been a fatal situation for the Duncan clan, turned out to be nothing more than a few bruises to Alix, and increased willingness to kick Church of Abdullah ass. I got a chance to chill with Krista today and she told me no one messes with her family like that, its beyond the world title, its personal now. BRANNIGAN And what about the Church of Abdullah, what’s their mindset tonight? MAGGIE They’re loco! They’re chanting hymns, they’re drinking what they call “holy water” and they’re acting like this is the friggin crusades! I don’t even wanna try and approach them, they’re all wacked! BRANNIGAN Any of them could win the world title tonight, but the goal originally was to get Abdullah the world title. Do you think lust for personal glory will affect team play? MAGGIE Most of ‘em are pretty tight lipped when you hit that subject. But its hard to imagine someone like Sandman, who’s never held the world title, wouldn’t go for it if he had the chance. BRANNIGAN Maggie, thank you, and good luck with your match tonight. MAGGIE Thanks! BRANNIGAN Alright then, fans, lets get the Halloween Spectacular underway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Bullet Proof” by La Roux brings its dance hall style to an arena that becomes filled with boos. Onto the pumpkin patch steps Sophie, not exactly dressed to wrestle in a satin and lace halter dress. Even more unusual is that she carries a thousand dollar calf hair purse and walks a MINIATURE HORSE on a leash. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring from Marseilles, France, she is SOOOPPPPPPHHHHHHIIIIIIIEEEEEEE! BRANNIGAN This is a new look Sophie! COACH Hey, she’s French, she’s born with a sense of style. It wouldn’t surprise me, however, if she took some fashion tips from James Blonde. BRANNIGAN You mean the guy who once wore green elf shoes to the ring? Sophie forces her handbag and her horse onto a ringside offical, leading him to find a place for both exotic outfits. She gracefully enters the ring and stares at the crowd with a bored expression. BRANNIGAN Well, here it comes. The biggest in ring debut we’ve ever had. There’s a long dramatic pause before these words ring out: You make me Feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream The way you turn me on I can't sleep Let's runaway And don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops When you look at me Just one touch Now baby I believe This is real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back As Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream blasts through the arena a giant blue neon sign that reads MAYA is lowered onto the stage. Each letter is shielded by spinning white pyro sparklers. A massive pop fills the arena as Maya Duncan-Blanchard bursts through the middle A. She wears the following: Maya holds a bright blue baton in her hands. She twirls it with incredible skill and grace. The stick is thrown into the air, and its owner spins around, catching it in mid spin before droping to one knee and posing with a cool smile. Oh, yeah, Terry Taylor’s at her side to. COACH She’s got the entrance game on lock already! Chump ass niggas need to step they game up to keep up with her. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this young woman is making her OAOAST In Ring debut. She hails from Los Angeles, California, being accompanied by OAOAST legend TERRY TAYLOR….she is THE TEEN DREAM MAAAAAYAAAAAA DUUUUUNNNCCCCCAAAANNN BLLLLAAAAANCCCCCCHHAAAAAARD! Unlike her mother, Maya doesn’t think she’s too cool to slap hands, and happily gives everyone high fives on the way down to the ring. BRANNIGAN I’ll tell you this, I’ve got goose bumps right now. We were first introduced to Maya when she was just getting out of elementary school. She’s grown before our eyes and we are seeing her in her first match ever on a night where most her age are at costume parties. Maya heads up to the top turnbuckle and points out to the crowd, nodding her head, and singing along with the music. BRANNIGAN Possibly the most anticipated in ring debut of any rookie in the OAOAST is about to get under way. DING DING DING Sophie circles, regarding Maya with a contemptuous smirk. Clearly she does not take her young foe seriously. She feigns a punch which causes Maya to flinch and jump back. SOPHIE Sophie decides to get serious and launches a lariat at Maya. The youngest Duncan girl ducks the attack, however another shortly follows. Maya ducks this one as well. A third lariat comes flying at her, and Maya ducks and heads straight out the ring. Terry senses her nerves and calls her over. MAYA Did you see the way she threw those clotheslines? They’re like meat cleavers! TERRY Its okay, just get back into the ring and stick to our gameplan. You can do it. Maya nods appreciatively before heading back to the ring. Sophie smiles a cruel sort of smile as she holds the ropes open The Teen Dream. “LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA!” Maya agrees to a lockup. But as she steps forward, Sophie wheels around her back and grabs her into a rear waistlock. MAYA Hey! No fair! SOPHIE Life izz not fair, ma cherie. Sophie swings Maya to the ground with an amateur style takedown. The French girl then jumps to Maya’s front and snags her inside a side headlock. TERRY Push to your feet, Maya! Remember what we practiced! Maya does just that, pushing herself off the ground. However, Sophie’s headlock remains as tight as ever. Maya starts trying to wiggle her way out to no avail. She soon remembers her training and shoves Sophie into the ropes. Maya ducks down expecting Sophie to leap frog her on the return. TERRY Don’t lower your- CRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAACK TERRY Head. Maya reels from the sharp blow and staggers backwards. Sophie lunges forward, trying to finally connect with a lariat. But Maya surprises both Sophie and herself with a side headlock takedown! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Maya smiles and nods at them. Sadly, her preoccupation with the crowd prevents her from tightening the hold and Sophie pushes herself out of it to grab a hammerlock. Or at least what I think is a hammerlock. I’m not good with moves, see. BRANNIGAN Classic rookie mistake by Maya, taking her eyes off the prize. COACH And she’s supposed to be able to beat Holly in Hell In The Cell? BRANNIGAN Holly has to make it through the tournament first. Sophie leads Maya to her feet. She twists and turns on the hammerlock. However, this makes the hold weaker, and Maya is able to pull her arm free to grab a headlock. But the headlock doesn’t last for very long as Maya is shoved into the ropes. Upon her return Sophie raises a fist to punch her in the face, but Maya skids to a halt before she can do so. MAYA Wait! Not the face, I have school pictures on Tuesday. SOPHIE Then I kick you in zhe stomach! Sophie attempts to make good on her promise, but Maya catches her legs. MAYA Maya dumps Sophie to the canvas, an action that earns its fair share of cheers. BRANNIGAN She is her mother’s child. Maya goes for a pinfall but forgets to hook the legs. Thus Sophie shoves Maya off her before the referee can even count one. TERRY Gotta hook those legs, Maya! COACH This ain’t fair, why can’t Sophie have a coach out here giving her tips and what not? TERRY Stay on her! As Sophie rises, Maya catches her into another side headlock. But once again she’s quickly shoved off by her European opponent. As Maya bounces off the ropes, Sophie drops to the ground for Maya to leap over her. But as Maya returns she makes a Krista-like observation. MAYA Why would you drop to the ground like that? Are you asking me to kick you in the head? I’d hate to mess up my karma, but why the hell not? Maya makes good on her promises and stomps Sophie in the head! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” Although her head burns, an angered Sophie rises to her feet. But she can mount no offense as Maya clamps down on her with another headlock. In response to the move, Sophie elbows Maya in the stomach repeatedly. This causes Maya to break the hold and nurse her sore stomach. But, Sophie stays on her attacking her cute face with punches, school pictures be damned. Tired of being treated like a punching bag, Maya throws rights of her own! TONY Look at Maya going to town on Sophie! COACH Cassius Clay she isn’t. Maya slings Sophie into the far corner. The French girl crashes hard into the posts, the wind seemingly sucked out of her. MAYA Once through with her dance routine, Maya dashes at Sophie. But Sophie raises her boot and wards Maya away. BRANNIGAN Another rookie mistake. Showboating when you should be staying on your opponent. Sophie grabs Maya by her dirty blond hair and uses that grip to slam her face into the turnbuckles. MAYA Ow! Didn’t you hear me? I have school pictures! SOPHIE Fermez la bouche! Sophie pulls Maya out the corner in order to nail her with a European Uppercut. Unlike her mother who has massive breasts to deflect the blow, Maya simply topples to the canvas. SOPHIE Je vous inciterai à soumettre! Maya is trapped inside a rear chinlock by Sophie. Having, never been in a submission hold before, this causes Maya some panic. TERRY Calm down and work your way to your feet. Use those leg muscles. Maya follows orders, and painstakingly fights her way upright. Sophie keeps the hold locked in, desperately trying to preserve her grip. After a tough battle, Maya finally wins out. But the victory is fleeting as Sophie elbows her in the face and sends her to the ropes. Instead of coming back, Maya smartly hooks her arms around the ropes. MAYA Tu es une salope! With that vulgar French phrase out the way, Sophie charges at Maya. But Krista’s daughter effortlessly back drops her over the ropes and onto the ring apron. Sophie groans in pain, as she brings herself upright. Groans turn to violent shouts as she lobs a fist at Maya. The Teen Dream ducks the attack and slides through Sophie’s legs to outside. Thinking quickly, Maya yanks out Sophie’s legs causing her face to smack off the ring apron. BRANNIGAN Great set of moves by Maya! Really looked like a veteran there. Maya waves hi to the cameras, before rolling Sophie back into the ring. The former women’s champion gets to her feet rather hastily. But this only makes it easier for Maya to duck down and slam a shoulder into her stomach. From there Maya starts to sling herself for a sunset flip. But in midair she’s caught by a dropkick from Sophie! Maya falls back down to the ring mats, and immediately clutches her arm. COACH Terry and Alf better hope that arm ain’t broken, because if anything happens to Maya her mother is going to have their ass! Sophie exits the ring and marches over to her miniature horse to give it a quick pat on the head. After that she rolls Maya back into the ring. Upon entering the ring herself, Sophie clamps down on Maya with another chinlock. “LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA! LET’S GO MAYA” the fans chant to rally the highschooler. But, Sophie keeps her locked, refusing to relent. Maya is equally, if not more, strong in her desire to break free of the hold. With the crowd’s support, she’s able to find her way to her feet. Once there she begins winging elbows against Sophie’s stomach. Four elbows are all Sophie can stand and she releases Maya, who slinks back into the corner. Sophie smells blood and as such she recovers quickly. She marches over to Maya, but upon arriving she’s kicked in the stomach. Sophie staggers backwards as Maya comes out the corner throwing hands. TERRY Keep the pressure on her! Maya runs forward with a lariat that’s easily ducked by Sophie. What’s not so easily ducked, is the flying forearm Maya levels her with. The youngest Duncan girl look to Terry for approval and gets a hearty thumbs up. BRANNIGAN One thing I notice about Maya is that she’s quick like her mother. She can almost attack you at the speed of light. Maya whips Sophie into the orange ring ropes. Sophie bounces back and is upended by a hurricanrana! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN Whoa! Maya pushes herself off the ropes, as Sophie begins to rise. She then connects with a flipping neckbreaker! BRANNIGAN Wow! Maya’s getting more and more confident as this match goes on. Maya makes the pinfall, once again forgetting to hook the legs… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BRANNIGAN Gotta hook those legs, there’s a common rookie mistake. Maya waits for Sophie to rise from the canvas. When she does Maya traps her inside a side headlock and bulldogs her to the ground. TERRY Go for another pin! Make her work for it! And hook the legs! Maya does just that, pinning Sophie to the canvas… ONE! TWO! Another kickout! Unlike more tenured superstars, Maya doesn’t argue the count. Instead she picks Sophie up with the intention of doing major damage. But those plans are put on hold as Maya is kneed in the gut. The former women’s champion throws Maya’s face against the top turnbuckle. She does so repeatedly until the referee steps in to protect Maya. This doesn’t sit well with Sophie, who barges past the referee. But when she approaches Maya, the Teen Dream strikes her with an elbow! Sophie spins around and goes staggering forward until she’s caught with an atomic drop by Maya. BRANNIGAN Maya Butt Hurts! COACH What? BRANNIGAN That’s the name of the move! Maya pushes herself off the rope, leapfrogging Sophie on the return. In mid air she grabs onto Sophie’s head and gives her a devastating face crusher! BRANNIGAN I believe she calls that move “Ciao, Bitches” and what a way to say hello to someone! On Terry’s orders Maya hooks Sophie’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BRANNIGAN YES! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…..MAAAYYYYAAAAAAAAA DUUUNNNCAAAAAAAANN BBBLLLLAAAANNNNCHHHHAAAARRRDDDD! We cut to the Duncan family dressing room where Jade, Alix, and Krista watch with wide smiles. Over in the Church of Abdullah dressing room, Holly looks on with a very annoyed frown. Back inside the ring, Maya jumps for joy as the audience celebrates with her. She gives Terry Taylor a big hug and raises his hand in appreciation. BRANNIGAN The first of many wins to come for Maya Duncan Blanchard. Congratulations to that young girl. She held up her end of the bargain and made it out the first round, let’s see if Holly can do the same when she faces Melody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage we find Vinny Valentine dressed to impress in jeans in a navy blazer. He’s currently in conversation with his friend Waldo. VINNY So this guy, you got. Its really going to work? WALDO Shit yeah, my wigga. This dude be looking mad niggerish, tattoos all over his body, gold teeth, stench like Mariano’s crusty ass mama. VINNY Where does all that crust come from? Its like dried dandruff. WALDO That bitch got more flakes than Tony The Tiger. Back to my guy, he’s gonna get all up in Melody’s face, talking about you ain’t shit bitch, your pussy is wack, I ain’t got no car insurance- VINNY Why would he say that? WALDO Because a nigga without auto insurance is a poor ass nigga, and he’s liable to fuck you up for that dollar-dollar bill, yo. Then once he says his lines, you stand up and you rock that nigga’s jaw. VINNY I don’t want to hurt the guy or nothing. I’ve got a bad ass right hand. Been practicing watching Krista’s kickboxing aerobics DVD. WALDO Nigga the only reason you should be watching that video is to see the serious camel toe she’s got on there. Fuck on outta here with that jazzercise boxing crap. All you gotta do is give him a shove, talk some shit back to him and he’s gonna go running scared, making you look like a nigga who goes hard for his lady. VINNY Right on, big daddy! This is going to be great. I’m gonna score, it’s a well known fact that in situations of serious danger a woman’s vagina’s is at its wettest. WALDO Nigga, where the fuck you hear that? VINNY My dad’s a gynecologist. WALDO Your dad gets paid to look at pussy all day? A nigga like me be on Porntube watching that shit all damn day and he don’t get nothing but a sore wrist and an empty baby oil bottle. Ain’t that some shit. VINNY I gotta go get Melody. Its date night! LATER TONIGHT BARON WINDELS VS REJECTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 As we return to the Halloween Spectacular, we find a ghoulish sight. Actually, maybe ghoulish is a little strong. Crazy. Yeah, crazy will do. It's the Halloween Costume/Gimmick Battle Royal! The camera pans around the ring showing the competitors who've entered during the break. Mariachi (as Moracca), The Masked Mutants, Conquistador Uno, The Space Cadets (Super Phareo and Supernova), PUNKMASTER P, THE 70's DUDE, Biff Atlas (as NRG Biff, complete with hula skirt), The Fanboys (MARV and MEL all geeked up), Jamie O'Hara (J-MAX unmasked), EMT Tim Cash, The Burrough Boys (imaginatively dressed as New York sports stars, Waldo the Yankee, Quincy the Jet, Mariano the Ranger and Luther the Giant)... and in the middle of the ring, yes, THE COW. COACH What a crew this is. BRANNIGAN Well we're in for some Halloween fun with the open invitation costume battle royal. The first annual! And, quite possibly, the last. But who knows. BZZZZZ BRANNIGAN We've already got the majority of the field in the ring and... BZZZZZ COACH Uh, Tony... what the hell is that? Coach points up above Brannigan's head, where a whirring robot hovers overhead. BRANNIGAN You don't remember K.U.R.T? The hovercam robot? COACH .... BRANNIGAN He's got the best view in the house. Can we cut to K.U.R.T cam, guys? We cut to K.U.R.T's point of view, focused on Coach, staring up confused at the hovering robot. As Coach looks on bemused, K.U.R.T hovers around and stings Coach, who tumbles off the sofa. BRANNIGAN That's great guys. "He who appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward Whoever cannot take care of themself without that law is both. So a wounded man shall say to his assailant if I live, I will kill you If I die, you are forgiven Such is the rule of honor" "Omerta" by Lamb Of God thunders through the dim arena as the stage is clouded in a cloud of firey orange smoke. And like a vision of hell, through the smoke emerges the monsters known as JINGUS and The Sadist!! The smoke continues to plume behind him as they stride down the aisle. BUFFER From The Depths Of HELL~! THE SADIST AND JINGUS... HHEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL'SSSS HHIIIIITTMMMMMMEEEEEEEEENN!!! COACH (picking himself up) Dayyum. Things just got serious up in here. BRANNIGAN It would be Halloween without the monsters and these two were two of the most intimidating monsters in OAOAST history. One of them was also the Women's Champion somehow. Simpler times. As JINGUS and The Sadist enter the ring, the lights dim. The Star Wars Theme (Disco Version) begins to play as green smoke billows out from under the ring, as "IT" THE ALIEN crawls out, sticking low to the ground as he looks left and right examining the surrounding area. COACH Oh no. BRANNIGAN How long has "It" been under that ring? Since 2007!? Tick, tock, tick, tock Time goes by so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by....so slowly Time goes by...so slowly Time goes by....so slowly The sweaty, head-spinningly good dance track Hung Up/ from queen of pop Madonna sends the audience into state of dance induced euphoria. As Madonna's airy vocals groove throughout the venue, a bevy of scantly clad male and female dancers in costumed army fatigues come onto the stage. While they move to the pulsating music, fabulous multi colored strobe lights splash along the arena, turning Boston into the sight of the world's largest rave. Joining the dancers on stage is The Strong Style Party Animal, The Bemani Bruiser, The Masked Dance Assassin, Triple D, DDD, MOTHER FUCKING Dance Dance Dragon! The dance phenom writhes his body along side his army of sexy dancers, while Buffer readies his introduction. BUFFER From Osaka, Japan, "THE MASKED DANCE ASSASSIN"... THE DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN What a return this is! The Dance Dance Dragon, former X-Division Champion! As DDD dances his heart out on the stage, the music cuts. Dragon looks around unhappily, as THE OKLAHOMA FIGHT SONG HITS! And BAH GAWD JIVIN' JR CRASHES THE PARTY! Jivin' JR TEARS OFF HIS SHIRT and starts to bust some moves to the melodic march! Dance Dance Dragon stands and watches for a while, before shaking his head and heading to the ring. BUFFER From the great state of OKLAHOMA... JIVIN' JJJIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMM RRRRRROOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COACH Hey! Your buddy! BRANNIGAN There's your winner. Right there. Amidst the chaos that Jivin' JR brings, "In The Air Tonight" hitting is almost missed. Out head V.I.C.E... who aren't in costume, causing referees to step in and block their path to the ring! BRANNIGAN Did they miss the memo? What's this about? An interrogation goes down, ending with Detective Bosley protesting that he's come as "Officer Bosley", pointing out that "you let that EMT bitch get away with it!" Bosley is allowed past, which just leaves CPA. Allen stares at the referees before reaching into his pocket and producing a pair of sunglasses. Enough to pass himself off as Samuel L.Jackson, apparantly, as he's allowed to enter the fray. COACH That's just racist. With 25 men in the ring the battle royal is apparantly good to go, so the referees converge and go to call for the bell. .:CUE: "Black Sweat:. COACH Aw naw. All eyes turn as, yes, the ultimate gimmick himself, MISTER WARRIOR CHARGES TO THE RING!! Warrior does a full lap around the ring, leaps onto the apron and starts shaking the ropes. He then stops, confronted by a ring full of wrestlers just as strange as him. Which MISTER WARRIOR isn't exactly used to. BRANNIGAN I think MISTER Warrior is in shock! Looking around, MISTER Warrior begins to question his faith in humanity and looks to the heavens for guidance. He looks deep into his palms, questioning his very existance, before stepping down and abandoning the match, shaking his head in despair. BRANNIGAN I think we've actually broke MISTER Warrior. *DINGDINGDING* The referees have had enough and call for the bell. MISTER Warrior continues to ponder his fate in life as the action commences in the ring. A few battles break out around the ropes. But most of the field have turned their attentions to the middle. Leaving The COW surrounded! BRANNIGAN Uh-oh. They've got him penned in! As The COW looks around for an escape, he's charged from the side! The COW stays up, but is charged from the other side! And The COW is wobbling! Shaking, perhaps? Milkshaking? Eh. BRANNIGAN Everyone ganging up on The COW! I've HERD of worse strategies. Suddenly, a group of competitors come in from one side and start to BARGE The COW, towards the ropes. The COW is off balance and together, Hell's Hitmen and The Burrough Boys combine to topple The COW over the top (somehow) and out of the ring! BRANNIGAN They just tipped The COW!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE COW LEFT: 1st LEFT IN RING: 24 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With the biggest threat in the match gone, chaos ensues and everybody starts to do battle. The COW meanwhile lands at MISTER Warrior's feet. This snaps Warrior out of his trance and he pounces on The COW and starts to EATING THE COW COSTUME! COACH IT'S NOT A REAL COW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MANIAC!?!? Two men scramble out of the torn costume and run for the hills, MISTER Warrior wrapping the costume around his shoulders and giving chase with fur hanging from between his teeth. COACH What have I just seen? In the ring, taking this wacky costume contest very seriously are V.I.C.E. CPA and Bosley go around the ring, wailing away on anything and anyone that gets in their way. After a hard kick to the ribs, Bosley then grabs Super Phareo around the neck and tosses him over the top.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SUPER PHAREO LEFT: 2nd LEFT IN RING: 23 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, CPA wastes little time in sending out Conquistador Uno, in similiar, uncompromising fashion.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CONQUISTADOR UNO LEFT: 3rd LEFT IN RING: 22 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRANNIGAN Boy, V.I.C.E are taking no prisoners here. Not even hanging around to take any names. Which is probably for the best considering everyone is in costume anyway. With V.I.C.E dominating, The Burrough Boys team up on Dance Dance Dragon, while JINGUS is double teamed by Punkmaster P and EMT Tim. The 70's Dude and Biff Atlas do battle, while sneaking out of danger, Jivin' JR heads for the safety of the announce booth. BRANNIGAN JR! What an honour! JIVIN' J.R BAH GAWD IT'S PANDEMONIUM IN THERE TONY! AS GOD IS MY WITNESS! BRANNIGAN Well you're welcome to hang out here, but you're kinda getting the suspicious eye from the referees. I'm not sure they approve of you taking a timeout. JIVIN' J.R Listen here kid, Good Ol' J.R. just needs to rest his legs for a few seconds, that's all. It's been a while. I ain't as nimble as I was back in the good old days with you. BRANNIGAN Well, you were certainly nimble back then. COACH In the ring, a peculiar meeting of the minds between "It" the Alien and Slime of The Masked Mutants ends with lots of gibberish and then with Slime being blindsighted by "Officer" Bosley, who pitches him over the top to the floor!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SLIME LEFT: 4th LEFT IN RING: 21 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Bosley ain't here to play, guys. JIVIN' J.R I guess you could say that BUSINESS JUST PI... COACH I didn't say that. JIVIN' J.R Oh. Okay. In the heat of the battle, The 70s Dude gets caught dancing, then pays the price as an errant clothesline sees Biff Atlas backdrop him over the top to the floor!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE 70'S DUDE LEFT: 5th LEFT IN RING: 20 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moments later, the other Space Cadet is sent into orbit, JINGUS pressing out Supernova!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SUPERNOVA LEFT: 6th LEFT IN RING: 19 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JIVIN' J.R There are bodies everywhere, bah gawd IT LOOKS LIKE A CAR WRECK ON I95 OU... COACH Does it though? Does it really? JIVIN' J.R I... I guess not. BRANNIGAN Would you lay off? This is a broadcast legend you're stepping on the toes of. COACH ...he's drinking barbecue sauce from a bottle! As the New York Burrough Boys turn their attentions to EMT Tim, Jamie O'Hara and Mariachi have teamed up to take on V.I.C.E. The highfliers have Bosley and CPA rocked, but can't get them down. With little room to move, they try dropkicks with little run-up, barely moving their larger opponents. Looking for more momentum O'Hara gets Mariachi to launch him overhead, catching V.I.C.E with one foot a-piece and staggering them! BRANNIGAN Looks like J-MAX and Mariachi have identified the threat in the match! And they've got Allen and Bosley reeling! Calling for one more, O'Hara gets another boost... but gets CAUGHT! CPA boots Mariachi, before the V.I.C.E squad turn and EJECT O'Hara, HIGH into the air and down to the arena floor with a splat!! JIVIN' J.R BAH GAWD HE WAS TWENTY EIGHT FEET IN THE AIR! HOW DO YOU LEARN TO FALL ON A CONCRETE FLOOR!?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JAMIE O'HARA LEFT: 7th LEFT IN RING: 18 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With his partner gone, Mariachi makes a rash move and gets caught trying a double crossbody, leaving him to be thrown out right next to his unmasked pal!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARIACHI LEFT: 8th LEFT IN RING: 17 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With those two gone, V.I.C.E are able to kick back and watch as nobody is in any rush to face them. The Burrough Boys have EMT Tim trapped four on one in a corner, Hell's Hitmen battle Dragon and Punkmaster, while Biff tries to eliminate Snot. Looking around, that leaves "It" the Alien alone in a corner, crouched down and looking on curiously. Bosley points him out to his partner and they stalk forward. BRANNIGAN Uh-oh... Jim, you better do something. JIVIN' J.R Me? BRANNIGAN Yeah, now's your chance! Go get 'em! Fire up and show them what Sooner pride is all about! Don't worry, I've got your back. With the peptalk from his buddy Tony, Jivin' J.R leaps up and takes a swig of his barbecue sauce for courage. And with no shirt left, J.R resorts to tearing off his PANTS, flopping into the ring in just his boxers! J.R beats his wobbly chest and lets out a battle cry before running at V.I.C.E... who turn around and cut him off by the throat. JIVIN' J.R TONY! BRANNIGAN JIVIN' J.R TONY! BRANNIGAN JIVIN' J.R TONY!?!? BRANNIGAN With all their might, Bosley and CPA haul the blubbery J.R forward and dump him over the top! BRANNIGAN Bye Jim! See you at the reunion next year!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JIVIN' J.R LEFT: 9th LEFT IN RING: 16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With J.R gone, Bosley and CPA turn their attentions back to "It". It reaches out curiously, prodding CPA's leg. "IT" Friend? Bosley chuckles to himself... and then BOOTS It right in the FACE! COACH HARSH! Bosley then tosses the alien and cackles like a madman! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "IT" THE ALIEN LEFT: 10th LEFT IN RING: 15 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ V.I.C.E decide to take another break on the job, not expecting The Fanboys to attack! MARV and MEL, or Marvin and Melvin I guess, spin them around and start to fire away with right hands! BRANNIGAN MARV and MEL not backing down here! As The Fanboys take it to V.I.C.E, another team is starting to dominante. The Burrough Boys' swarm of New York sports stars has beaten down Cash and has now moved on to Snot and Biff. A four on two beatdown takes care of them and The BBs continues to put the boots to Snot. Unaware that Biff has reached into his hula skirt and produced a mask! BRANNIGAN Wait a minute. We might be about to see a transformation here! Biff slips on the mask, undetected by The Boys... and suddenly leaps to his feet in heroic fashion! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH Seriously? First to spot him is Quincy, who charges Biffman... and with a sidestep, is sent soaring over the top!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ QUINCY (NEW YORK JETS) LEFT: 11th LEFT IN RING: 14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biffman ducks a shot from Mariano and Luther, then CLOTHESLINES THEM BOTH OUT!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARIANO (NEW YORK RANGERS) LEFT: 12th LEFT IN RING: 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LUTHER (NEW YORK GIANTS) LEFT: 13th LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Only New Yorker left, Waldo winds up... and promptly strikes out, getting pressed overhead and THROWN ONTO HIS FELLOW BURROUGH BOYS ON THE FLOOR!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WALDO (NEW YORK YANKEES) LEFT: 14th LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justice done, Biff discretely removes his mask and reverts back to his not-so secret identity, checking his hair is okay after the unmasking. BRANNIGAN And Biffman has just wiped out New York's sports franchises in one swoop! COACH Dude dresses like a superhero every day and for Halloween, he wears a hula skirt. Ass backwards doesn't even begin to describe it. Eleven men left and DDD and Punkmaster P try to make it ten, doubling up on JINGUS. They don't have enough strength to get the monster up though and are quickly fought off. Meanwhile MARV and MEL are hanging with V.I.C.E, able to stop their momentum for the time being. Biff tries to eliminate a weakened Snot, but The Sadist sneaks up and DUMPS THEM BOTH! BRANNIGAN Woah! There go two, Biff and Snot gone!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BIFF ATLAS LEFT: 15th LEFT IN RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SNOT LEFT: 16th LEFT IN RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back up, EMT Tim waits for The Sadist to turn around and hits him with a knifedge chop. Not familiar with the sick freak, Tim seems shocked when The Sadist smiles and groans under his breath. Sadist asks for more, so Cash chops him again. Sadist responds by RUBBING HIS CHEST and MOANING. COACH You know who'd like this guy? Malaysia. Slightly creeped out, Tim decides to sweep a leg and take Sadist's knee out with an elbow drop to hobble the bigman. In the background, another man is gone, as JINGUS flips out Punkmaster P!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PUNKMASTER P LEFT: 17th LEFT IN RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRANNIGAN We're down to eight. And we've got both of Hell's Hitmen, both of V.I.C.E, both Nerdlys, plus Tim Cash and Dance Dance Dragon left. The tag teams faring well in this battle royal, strength in numbers coming into play here for sure. With The Sadist hobbled, Tim lends a helping hand to Dance Dance Dragon, double-teaming JINGUS. The battle rages on with V.I.C.E and the Nerdlys meanwhile. Able to isolate Bosley, MARV and MEL set him up and send him to the Pearly Gates with the flatliner/enziguri combo! BRANNIGAN The Nerdlys score big! One of these eight will be your winner here tonight, what are you thinking Coach? COACH I'm still thinking about Malaysia and The Sadist. That'd be some hot damn sex, know what I mean? MARV and MEL take the fight to CPA and shoot in to try and dump him over the top! The big powerhouse hangs onto the ropes and manages to avoid elimination, able to fight MEL off, allowing him to grab MARV by the throat. MARV escapes the grip with a well-placed kick though and catches CPA with a Jawjacker! BRANNIGAN Oh! That one stunned Allen! With CPA dazed, MARV and MEL quickly hit a Double Kickflip, staggering CPA! The bigman falls against the ropes, so the Nerdlys throw caution to the wind in an effort to take him out. MARV whips MEL at CPA, hitting a crossbody that takes them both over the top... and CPA HITS THE FLOOR, but MEL somehow manages to hang onto the top rope and survive!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BRANNIGAN What a move! And CPA is out!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA LEFT: 18th LEFT IN RING: 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The celebrations are short-lived for The Fanboys though as Bosley comes up from behind on MARV and hurls him over the top, taking MEL out on the way over for good measure!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HAHA! Brilliant! Two for the price of one!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARV LEFT: 19th LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MEL LEFT: 20th LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bosley hangs back and surveys the scene with only five left, Cash and Dance Dance Dragon still trying to fend off Hell's Hitmen. BRANNIGAN Bosley kind of laying in the weeds here. COACH Smart. No need to go running into the lair of the monsters. Suddenly, a hobbled Sadist is caught with a low dropkick from Cash. As Sadist hobbles away, Cash and Dragon rush JINGUS. Which allows Bosley to pick off The Sadist and dump him from behind, unscathed! COACH Smart smart smart!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE SADIST LEFT: 21st LEFT IN RING: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Staying alert, the Officer for the night quickly turns his attentions back to Cash and Dragon, who are trying to get rid of JINGUS. The hellish bigman fends them off though and bounces off Dragon with a clothesline. JINGUS then reaches out, snatching Cash by the head and driving him down with the CLAW SLAM!! BRANNIGANPower, from the over three hundred and fifty pounder! Cash rolls away hurt as JINGUS targets Dragon. Clubbing away, he whips The Strong Style Party Animal to the ropes and goes for another clothesline. Dragon ducks underneath and catches JINGUS in the chest with a hard kick, rocking him back. Off the ropes, DDD ducks under another clothesline and doubles JINGUS up with a spinkick. Dragon then goes to hit the ropes again... but Bosley cuts him off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stomping away, Bosley works over Dragon, then pats JINGUS on the chest, seemingly a sign of solidarity. JINGUS doesn't reciprocate. COACH Uh, Bos... Bos, look out! Realising JINGUS isn't joining in, Bosley turns around and starts to run off his mouth which earns him a hand around the throat! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Bosley boots JINGUS though and escapes. Bosley then springs off the middle rope and catches JINGUS with a back elbow, knocking him down! BRANNIGAN Wow! Now that was impressive! Bosley able to knock the monster off his feet. COACH Yeah, but he's still got to put him over the top. Knocking JINGUS off his feet won't do you much good in a battle royal. Pretty cool though, admitted. Realising he's going to need some help, Bosley yells at Cash and Dragon to get up and helping. Which they're both too hurt to do and not in any hurry to change, considering who's doing the ordering. So Bosley is forced to pick JINGUS up by himself. That's enough of a task in itself and Bosley gets that far, before JINGUS shrugs him off and hits a Mongolian chop to the neck! COACH Ow! JINGUS grabs Bosley and goes for an irish whip, only for Bosley to twist out and catch JINGUS with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK! BRANNIGAN Caught him right in the back of the head! Rocked, the monster stumbles forward and Bosley keeps him moving, bull-rushing him from behind. JINGUS is barged into the ropes and Bosley keeps on barging, trying to topple JINGUS. At which point, Dragon comes over and lends a hand. BRANNIGAN They've got JINGUS going here! COACH It's going to take more though. C'mon Tim, help them out, mister nice guy! Right on cue, Tim stumbles over and lends the crucial hand, SENDING JINGUS UP AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JINGUS LEFT: 22nd LEFT IN RING: 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOSLEY YEAH~! YEAH~! GET IT~! COME AWWWN~! All pumped up, Bosley turns around into a spinning wheel kick from Dragon!! BRANNIGAN I think Bosley peaked too soon. With Bosley down, Dragon looks to the crowd. And bouncing off the ropes, the dancing destroyer hits the STRONG STYLE SHUFFLE on Bosley!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Ridiculous! Dragon lines Bosley up, but Cash is there to lend a hand again and suddenly a double clothesline is coming the Alpha Male's way. However, Bosley manages to duck and in doing so, backdrops Dragon over the top rope!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DANCE DANCE DRAGON LEFT: 23rd LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Able to hang on, Cash looks down despairingly, feeling partially responsible for Dragon's demise. At which point, Bosley tries to pounce. Cash senses it coming though and manages to switch behind Bosley, then catch him coming back with a hiptoss. BRANNIGAN Down to two and what a two it is, the former tag team partners, EMT Tim and Officer Bosley! COACH Yeah well, costumes aside, those days are long gone. Bosley dumped this waste of space long ago. And he's gonna do it again tonight! Cash unleashes some European uppercuts on Bosley, then goes for an irish whip. Bosley swats away the hand and throws a forearm, which is ducked by Tim. Doubling him up with a boot, Tim sets Bosley for a suplex. But it's blocked. Bosley manages to prevent the suplex and counters on Tim, picking him up for a suplex and lifting him over the ropes, onto the apron! BRANNIGAN Precarious position for Timmy, he's teetering on the brink right here! One good shot away from victory, Bosley tries for a right hand. But Cash blocks, delivering a shoulder in from the apron and rolling back in over the top. Hitting the ropes Tim then goes for a crossbody, but gets caught and jammed with a backbreaker! Cash clutches his ribs, as Bosley comes off the ropes and hits a Frontflip Swinging Neckbreaker! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BOSLEY WHO'S THE FREAKIN' MAN UP IN HERE, HUH!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley pounds away on Tim before preparing to throw him out, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck. The AMOG takes too much time shouting over what he's going to do though and it allows Tim time to slip free, catching onto Bosley's head from behind and delivering the Cashback!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Bounced back up, Bosley is caught with a dropkick and goes OVER THE TOP... ...BUT HANGS ON!! BRANNIGAN Woah woah woah woah woah! COACH Come on Bos, hold tight! Tim rushes over to try and knock Bosley the rest of the way down, but runs into a shoulder from Bosley! The AMOG grabs Cash and runs him down the ropes, sending him face-first into the turnbuckles, then heads to the top. BRANNIGAN High risk here, I don't know about this from Bosley. As he reaches the top, Bosley suddenly panics, as Tim rolls forward and cuts off the distance between them. With a lunge, Tim manages to knock out Bosley's legs and CROTCH him on the top turnbuckle!! BOSLEY Bosley groans in pain and slumps over, far enough for Tim to spring off the middle rope and catch him with the Backbrain Wheelkick, toppling Bosley over AND SENDING HIM TUMBLING OFF THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BRANNIGAN YES! Tim wins! What a victory for the EMT! "It's Not My Time" hits and Tim falls to his knees in elation as a referee slides in and raises his hand in victory, Bosley left splattered out on the floor. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the OAOAST Halloween Battle Royal... "EMT" TTIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM CCAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tim punches the air in celebration, still courteous enough in victory to make sure to shake the referee's hand and thank him before he gets too caught up in the win. BRANNIGAN I don't think you could find a more popular victor here tonight. Tim Cash, comes out on top here in the first ever OAOAST Halloween Costume Battle Royal and you can see what this win means to him. All fun and games aside, this is a big win for Tim after a hard few months. COACH If you ask me, he shouldn't have even been entered. An EMT? What sort of a 'costume' is that? That's bush league. But... I guess he earned it. Whatever. BRANNIGAN Begrudging praise from The Coach. Crazy things really do happen this time of year, folks! Clearly delighted, Tim continues to celebrate his win and is roared on by the crowd as he waves out to them. A furious Bosley backs away cursing and ranting, which won't deter Tim, celebrating a big win here tonight.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We find Vinny and Melody walking down a ritzy neighborhood street, holding bags of candy. All around them, kids rush to make their next score of tasty sweets. VINNY Man, look at what I came away with. Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Butterfingers. I told you if we got on your knees when we rang the doorbell they’d think we’re kids because we’re short. That old lady fell for it! MELODY Yeah, she “fell for it” because she was as blind as a bat! VINNY And did you see the way I muscled that kid out the way to get that last Nestle crunch? Kid never had a chance. It was like in my basketball days I used to post up and box dudes out in the Yeshiva middle school league. What about you? You having fun? MELODY My clan on Halo Reach was having a costume party with our webcams, and I’m missing it. But I guess I’m having fun. We didn’t really go trick or treating in the Nerdly family, not since the incidents with Malaysia and the plastic pirate sword. Incest never hurt so bad! VINNY Right on, sweet sister. You stick with the Vin-Man and your night’s only going to get better and better. ‘Cause I got a big one planned! VOICE DRINK MY MORNING PISS! VINNY It can’t be! It can be and it is, Tony Tourrettes appears from behind a bush and launches a balloon filled with piss at Vinny. The Disco Duck has no time to react and therefore is covered in Tony’s piss. TONY DON’T TAKE ME TRICK OR TREATING, EH? I’LL MAKE YOU SUCK TWENTY BABY DICKS! COME ON YOU LITTLE FART KNOCKERS! ATTACK! Suddenly four kids appear from behind the bushes and hurl piss filled balloons at Vinny. The Disco Duck twists in the wind, as though his body were being riddled by bullets. Finally he sags to the ground, nearly in tears from his cousin’s treachery. To make matters even worse, Tony runs up and steals his bag of candy! TONY YEAH YOU TURD EATING BITCH! THIS IS MY SHIT NOW! MELODY This will be on youtube in t minus 10, 9, 8, 7,6,5,4,3,2,1! We have lift off!LATER TONIGHT BOHEMOTH AND TODD CORTEZ VS THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRASCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 ::Cue:: GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Powerful streaks of electricity smash against the entrance stage while the audience brings forth large cheers. Every videoscreen is filled with images of electricity. A massive bolt storms a pumpkin patch that’s coloured in a dark blue. Nervously emerging from the back, wearing a pin stripped romper, comes little Morgan Nerdly. She shies away from the camera and makes her way to ringside. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit twenty minutes and it is for the OAOAST Women’s Title! Now making her way to the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, prepare for SHCOK AND AWE from MOOOOORRRRGGAAAANNNN NNNNNEEERRRRRRRDDDLLLYYYYY BUFFER Although this match is for the OAOAST Women’s Title, Morgan is fighting this match as much for Leon Rodez as she is for herself. The former Grand Rapids Goldenchild has demanded that Morgan Nerdly win the women’s title in revenge for an article Jade didn’t even write in the first place. Inside the ring, Morgan stands upon the first rope while leaning over the second. She beams a frightful and innocent eye at the sold out audience. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" Flashing purple lights shine to the sound track of"When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls. The champion, dressed in a festive orange and black cheerleading outfit, skips onto the graveyard. A little tense, Jade takes a sharp intake of breath and jumps about on the stage trying to get her mind in the right place before she walks to the ring tagging outstretched hands. Yes I stole that last part from an entrance KC wrote two years ago! BUFFER And the champion….now residing in Los Angeles, California, she is LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA….JAAAAAAAADDDDEEE…..RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZ DUUUUUUNNNNNNNCAAAAAAANNNN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Better than Leon Rodez? Don’t make me laugh. Leon’s gonna be eatin’ good off this one, because Jade don’t stand a chance. BRANNIGAN I think a case can be made for Jade being better than Leon. She has a title belt, which means she’s tops in her division. Leon doesn’t have that. COACH She won that title belt in a match refereed by her girlfriend’s mother! DING DING DING Morgan wastes little time in attacking Jade, slamming her platform heel into Jade’s stomach. With Jade doubled up, the unbalanced girl kicks her in the side of the head. This nearly topples Jade, but Morgan keeps her upright in order to throw her face against the turnbuckle posts. Morgan does this repeatedly, until Jade manages to elbow her away. BRANNIGAN I don’t think I’ve ever seen Morgan as intense and driven as she is now. Leon’s got her totally brainwashed. Jade attempts to whip Morgan into the corner, but the littlest Nerdly girl reverses the hold and sends Jade into the turnbuckles. Morgan follows her, expecting to nail a splash. But Jade shows some of her mother’s agility by moonsaulting over her challenger. Morgan crashes into the posts, and stumbles backwards. While she struggles to get her bearings, Jade bounces off the ropes and takes her down with a lariat. A pinfall is then attempted… ONE! Kickout! Jade scrapes Morgan off the canvas and plants several knees into her stomach. From there she hooks her smaller foe into a front facelock and flips her backwards with a vertical suplex. Little Miss California then floats over into a cover… ONE! TWO! No! Morgan gets up under her own will power but is knocked back into the corner by several punches from Jade. The champion latches onto Morgan’s arm and whips her across the ring. Jade chases her down, but when she arrives to Morgan, the little lady elbows her away. Seething with fury, Morgan rushes at Jade. But she’s overtaken by a back body drop! Morgan gets up relatively quickly only to be clotheslined back down. BRANNIGAN The tide of this match changed rapidly. Morgan was in control for about twenty seconds and no its all Jade. COACH Leon’s got to be pissed. Jade wraps her arms around Morgan’s waist and throws her backwards with a back suplex. This is cause for a pinfall.. ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas. “LET’S GO MORGAN!” “LET’S GO JADE!” “LET’S GO MORGAN” “LET’S GO JADE!” Morgan gets to her feet, again under her own will. But once more she’s hit with a lethal strike as Jade clotheslines her over the ropes. We switch to a secluded area backstage where Leon Rodez watches this match in disgust. BRANNIGAN That man is the epitome of all evil. Meanwhile Jade and Morgan trade blows outside the ring. Being the stronger of the two, Jade wins out. The spoils for her victory are her being allowed to drop Morgan stomach first on the guardrail. Morgan whimpers in pain, which makes Jade feel sympathetic and she backs off to give her a breather. COACH What the hell? Tony, you never would’ve let up on Logan Mann if he had a booboo. BRANNIGAN Jade’s a nicer person that I. At the crowd’s urging, Jade grabs Morgan and deposits her back into the ring. Jade rolls into the squared circle herself. She grabs onto Morgan’s legs, to prevent her from scurrying away. But Morgan uses all the strength in her little legs to shove Jade away, and Miss California goes tumbling through the ropes. Thankfully she’s able to land on the ring apron. But she isn’t there for long as Morgan shoves her off the ring apron. Jade flies backwards and crashes against the announce table, knocking over several of the Halloween decorations. BRANNIGAN This has been an intensely physical contest for the OAOAST Women’s Title. Now on the outside, Morgan grabs Jade by her blond hair and raises her off the mat. She then wraps her arms around Jade’s waist and violently runs her into the ring apron. COACH That’s the hardest part of the ring, that bitch’s back gotta be jacked up! Morgan dumps Jade back into the ring, and quickly follows her in. As Jade tries to stand, Morgan runs the ropes and returns to kick her in the back. Jade wails in pain as Morgan lays stomps into her. Morgan then runs the ropes, and hits Jade across the neck with a leg drop. Backstage, Leon watches, looking completely unimpressed with Morgan. Back inside the ring, Morgan whips Jade into the corner. She darts at Little Miss California and drives her shoulder into the champion’s midsection. Jade sags downwards, but is kept aloft by Morgan who blasts her with elbows. Referee Earl Hebner backs Morgan away, which upsets the nervous girl. It upsets her so much that she ducks past Heber and runs forward to strike Jade with a dropkick! Jade stumbles out the corner and falls flat on her face. BRANNIGAN Now the tide has turned in Morgan’s favor, let’s see if she sustain her attack. Morgan climbs to the top rope and patiently waits for Jade to rise. Once Jade does, Morgan dismounts her perch with a cross body block that shoves Jade to the ground. Hebner counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Jade makes a timely kickout! She comes back to her feet, but finds herself under fire from three kicks to the ribs. Hobbled, she can’t defend herself from the roundhouse Morgan slams into her head. BRANNIGAN Lightening Kick! Jade stays upright, but appears to be dizzied and hurt. That leads Morgan to get a run up off the ropes. But when she returns to Jade, the Women’s Champion spears her to the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” JADE Come on! COACH Come on? Her mother can fill half a match with Sarah Silvermanesque comedic monologue and all she has is come on? Jade brings Morgan off the canvas in order to send her into the ropes. When Morgan comes running back, Jade upends her with a flap jack! Despite this, Morgan is up rather quickly. Jade tags Morgan with a few jabs before leaping upwards and nailing her with the E!ziguri! BRANNIGAN Big time move by Jade Rodez-Duncan, the woman OAOAST magazine called the best Rodez in the company. COACH And you know that’s that bullshit. Jade picks Morgan up and stuns her with a pair of leg kicks. With Morgan weakned, Jade takes off to the ropes and comes back to give Morgan Sweet Dreams with a running sleeper drop. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Jade then takes a page out of her mama’s playbook and moonsaults onto Morgan. Sorry no booty shaking for this girl! JADE Let me hear you cheer! “JADE! JADE! JADE!” Morgan is back to her feet with alarming quickness. But Jade pounces on her and traps her inside the set up for the reverse x-factor. BRANNIGAN Is she going to get it from her mama? Not tonight as Morgan twists through the hold to take Jade onto her shoulders for the Shock & Awe! BRANNIGAN Now its Jade who’s in trouble! But the plucky champion fights her way out of Morgan’s grip. Morgan swings around to deal with Little Miss Calfornia and eats a dropkick! That’s good enough to warrant a pin from Jade… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Backstage we find Leon Rodez wearing an expression of deep frustration. BRANNIGAN Why can’t this guy just be happy for his niece? She’s never done a thing wrong to him. Morgan rolls onto the apron, in an effort sucker Jade in. Little Miss California takes the bait and marches over to pick Morgan up. That’s when the tiniest Nerdly girl snaps her neck off the ring ropes. Jade is seemingly dazed and out on her feet. Thus Morgan rushes back into the ring to try and knee her foe in the face. But Jade dodges the attack, and Morgan goes running the ropes. Jade does the same thing, and they collide courtesy of a diving shoulder tackle from the eldest Duncan girl. A pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! Kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Morgan struggles to pull herself upright, using the ropes near the ring posts for aid. Jade sees this as her moment to strike and runs at Morgan with a body splash. But Morgan slides out the way and Jade suffers a nasty collision with the ring posts. She stumbles backwards right into Morgan’s waiting arms. The former women’s champion lifts Jade onto her shoulders, as the crowd pops for the Shock & Awe. Morgan can’t seem to throw Jade over, as the champion mounts a grand struggle. Eventually she wins out and slithers down Morgan’s back with a roll up… ONE! TWO! No! The once divided crowd becomes unified in bitterest hatred, as the much loathed Leon Rodez walks to ringside. BRANNIGAN He has no business being out here. COACH He wants to support Morgan. What’s the harm in that? BRANNIGAN Leon has doesn’t a single nice thing for Morgan in his life, he’s here to make sure his ego is satisfied. Both girls spring to their feet, with Morgan seeking first blood with a lariat.. But Jade ducks the attack, and reaches backwards to trap Morgan. From there she lowers her body for a backslide pin… ONE! TWO! Morgan kicks out as Leon watches with an annoyed glare. LEON Get up! Get up, god damn it! BRANNIGAN Oh yeah, he’s a real big support. Fearful over incurring Leon’s wrath, Morgan rises to her feet. She trades blows with Jade, but quickly realizes she won’t win out. Thus she goes low with a dropkick that brings Jade to her knees. From there Morgan backs into the ropes, and comes sliding back with a lariat. BRANNIGAN The Electric Slide! Morgan looks over to Leon for approval after using one of his moves. She doesn’t get what she desires, instead being gruffly told to pin her foe. Morgan sighes and does just that.. ONE! TWO! Jade makes the kickout, which causes Leon to tear at his hair. He yells at Morgan, which leads Jade to order him to be quiet. An argument ensues between the Rodez clan. This gives Morgan the chance she needs to set up Jade for the Shock & Awe! Leon jumps onto the ring apron, wanting to be as close as possible for his niece’s demise. But Jade fights out the hold and comes down in front of Morgan. This outrages Leon to no end, and fills him with panic that Morgan might lose. Thus he reaches into his pocket and then tosses powder at Jade! But Jade moves out the way and Morgan is blinded instead! This leaves Morgan open for the reverse x-factor. However, Jade refuses to execute it. JADE I don’t want to win this way. Its not fair to Morgan or the fans. Go ahead and DQ me. HEBNER If you say so. DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of disqualifcation….MORGAN NERDLY! Not even bothering to check on his accidental victim, Leon sulks to the back with fists clenched in rage. Jade, however, is the kinder of the Rodez clan and joins with Earl Hebner in checking on Morgan. BRANNIGAN Now that’s a class act right there. And for that reason alone I think she’s ten times better than her uncle. COACH I can't believe what I just saw. What if everyone fortfitted a match because of outside interference? BRANNIGAN Then wrestling would be a lot better off. Fans, stay tuned for more of the Halloween Spectacular.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 The OCC look to start off with a frenzy as they hit the ring, looking to exact their revenge after weeks of sneak attacks and exchanging words. Ned and Simon rush directly into harm's way, as Bo and Cortez are waiting for them, and the four men start exchaning too many punches to count as they pair off! TONY This one has been building for the past two months, and after last week's little ploy, the Cobras are all too eager to get this one over with! Ned works over Cortez, hammering down the Urban Legend in the corner until he's hooked in a full nelson from behind by Bo, who has dispatched of Simon. Ned struggles, and as Cortez comes out of the corner, Ned kicks up and plants both feet in his chest, sending Cortez staggering back! He can't break the grip of the Metrosexual Monster, however, until Simon darts back into the ring and nails him to break the hold! The Cobras send Bo to the ropes, preparing for a double team, but Bo stops, drops, and rolls to the floor, dragging Cortez out of the ring as well. COACH Looks like Anglesault's boys have to huddle up and talk strategy. TONY I don't think they have a strategy as much as some type of evil plan in the works, Coach. COACH Evil plan? Tony B., if they had an evil plan they would have told us what it was before the match, so that the Cobras were prepared. That's what always happens to James Bond! The Cobras go to escape the ring and give chase, but the referee waves them off, and calls Bo and Cortez up on the apron. Ready to do this proper, referee Nick Patrick orders "one in, one out", and not in a pornographic sense, sickos. Instead, Simon and Bo stay on the apron, while Ned and Cortez start off as the offical men in the ring. Cortez goes for a lockup, but Ned instantly breaks it and starts nailing him with right hands before sending him to the ropes and into orbit with a backdrop! A clothesline follows that, but when he goes to pick Todd up, he catches a headbutt to the bread basket, and Cortez comes up with a jumping knee to Ned's jaw! The street fighter hurls Ned into the corner, placing a forearm against his throat for as much of the five count as Ned can endure. Cortez breaks away without much fuss, then reaches out and slaps Ned, drawing his ire as the ref tries to keep Cortez back. Instead, Patrick gets bumped aside as Ned grabs Cortez, but a quick thumb to the eye stops his comeback, and he finds himself send into the corner of his rivals! Cortez tags in the big man, and together they work Ned over in the corner, each taking their turn kicking him until he's left groggy on the canvas. Bo leads him to his feet and hoists him up onto his shoulder, ramming him right back into the corner, then charging in and mashing him with a hard lariat! Ned flops out of the corner, as Bo tags Cortez back in, and he quickly goes to work by yanking Ned's head back and crossfacing him several times! TONY I will say this, Coach. Bo and Cortez and doing their best to be a cohesive unit. These are two men that weren't even on friendly terms up until recently, at least as far as we've been told. COACH There's got to be more to it, Tony B. You'd hafta think Anglesault wouldn't put these two out here together unless he knew what he was doing, and we all know that he knows what he's doing! Cortez stands over Ned proudly, then runs over and nails Simon, knowing that the shot will lure him in. Sure enough, it works like a charm, as Simon's rage takes over and he tries to get into the ring, causing a distraction for the referee, allowing Cortez to take off his trademark wifebeater and choke Ned with it before casting it aside! Cortez then playfully kicks at him as he struggles to catch some air, then picks him up and hits a suplex. Cortez comes up taunting and flaunting, much more cockier than the last time we saw him. He brings Ned up and hits a series of knees to the stomach, then picks up Ned for a scoop slam, which Ned slips out of! Out of instinct, Ned shoves Todd to the ropes, and when he rebounds their heads crack together, knocking them both silly! Ned rolls over, looking for his corner, while Cortez sits up in the corner, trying to get his focus back. TONY Ned's been taking a beating since the beginning of this match, and he needs to get to his corner as soon as he can! Molly starts the rally, pounding the apron and clapping her hands, as Ned rolls closer and closer to his corner. Cortez recovers first and heads for his foe, grabbing him by the foot, but Ned rolls onto his back and kicks Todd away! Ned then spins over and crawls towards his corner, but Cortez rushes to his feet and drops an elbow to prevent the tag! He then drags Ned across the ring and makes the tag to Bo. Cortez pulls Ned to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then snapmares him over, while Bo runs the ropes and then delivers a kick to the face of Ned Blanchard! Bo then works him over by stomping his prone form, then pulls him up to his feet, only to blast him with a short arm clothesline! Bo hangs onto his arm, pulling him back up as he falls, and yanks him right into a belly to belly suplex! COACH My man Ned needs to get over to his corner. If this were a video game his health bar would be flashing critical! TONY Notice how Bo and Cortez haven't gone for a cover yet either, Coach. It's obvious they've been instructed to make an exampe of the Orange County Cobras here tonight, and so far I'm sad to say they're having their way with them! Bo pulls Ned up and sends him to the ropes, catching him for a spinebuster...but Ned quickly jams a thumb in Bo's eye to throw him off his tracks! Ned then hits the ropes and comes off with a clothesline that teeters the big man, but doesn't knock him over! Ned hits the ropes again, and this time Bo tries to catch him coming, but Ned ducks under, hits the far side, and hits a leaping lariat that takes Bo off his feet! Quickly, Ned rolls to his corner and makes the tag to Simon to huge pop from the crowd! TONY Here we go now! Immediately, Simon climbs up to the top rope, and Ned rocket launches him off the top, into a bodypress that takes Bo off his feet the moment he had recovered! The momentum rolls Simon off Bo, but when he pops up to his feet he takes the opportunity to spin around and give Cortez a right hand that knocks him off the apron! He turns around and rocks Bo with a dropkick, then brings him to his feet and sends him to the ropes...or at least tries to, as Bo reverses! Simon hits the ropes, where he's tripped by Cortez! Singleton comes up off the mat dazed enough for Bo to take control, hoisting him up for a powerbomb...but Simon floats over with a sunset flip! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Bo kicks out almost instantly, and when both men return to their feet, Simon tries for a kick, only for it to get caught! He follows up with an enzugiri that knocks Bo silly, and then heads to the top, catching a tag from Ned as he does! Simon leaps off the top with his trademark BOX OFFICE BOMB~!, crashing down atop the Metrosexual Monster...and being the illegal man he rolls off Bo rather than stay on top for the pin...leaving him open to another splash from the top, this one from Ned Blanchard! The crowd erupts for the Cobras as both men stand tall, and Cortez enters the fray, only to get caught and hoisted into the air, sent back to Earth with a flapjack! Cortez rolls out of the ring as fast as he had entered, and Ned goes for the cover on Bo! ONE! TWO! NO! Unaffected by the big man's ability to withstand punishment, Ned brings him to his feet, rocking him with right hands before hitting a kick to the gut, and then trying to lift him for a suplex...only for Bo to shift his weight and counter the move, except he throws Ned outward, face first! Bo then tags in Cortez, and the Urban Legend waits on the apron as Bo brings Ned up and military presses him...then simply drops him to the mat, allowing Cortez to springboard in with a double kneedrop to the small of the back! Ned howls in pain as Cortez comes back and plants both knees into his back, then rolls backwards, trapping Blanchard in a bow and arrow submission! COACH Taking two knees hurst like a bitch, and getting stuck in this right after it must hurt like...like a bigger bitch! TONY Eloquent as always, Coach. Cortez cinches in the hold, as the crowd claps and rallies behind Ned, hoping he can muster up the energy to escape. Bo taunts from the corner, while Cortez, realizing Ned is too tough to tap, switches gears and releases the hold. Todd then delivers a kneedrop to the temple, then picks up Ned and hits a backbreaker! Cortez then exits the ring and places himself on the apron, following up with a springboard into another kneedrop, rolling through with it into a quebrada from the opposite side! TONY That's Vintage Cortez right there! COACH That's copyright infringement by you! Molly calls out "Come on, Ned!" and continue to play cheerleader for her boys, as Simon again waits on the tag. Cortez brings Ned to his feet and stuns him with a pair of forearms before sending Ned to the ropes...but Ned counters and pulls Todd towards him, then snaps him across the top rope with a Stun Gun! TONY That's the opening he needed! Ned aches as he inches towards his corner, while Cortez is on all fours, crawling around the ring. The crowd stomps and claps as he lunges for his corner, making one last ditch effort...and gets the tag! Simon slingshots over the ropes and charges Cortez, immediately nailing him with a clothesline that dumps him over the top and out to the floor! Simon then races across the ring again, looking to dive out...but Bo moves into his path to prevent him! Thinking on his feet, Simon baseball slides out of the ring through Bo's legs, then yanks him off the apron, causing the brutish star to crack his chin on the apron! Simon then slides back into the ring, and with Cortez and Bo both in a daze, he launches himself onto them with a pescado! Simon gets to his feet, pumping his arms as the crowd applauds his efforts to turn the tide for his team! He throws Cortez back into the ring, then hops up on the apron, moving towards the turnbuckles. He climbs up, but as he sets to send himself airborne, Bo clutches his ankle to prevent it! Simon tries to shake him free, but it's enough to allow Cortez to rush up to the top and hook Simon for a superplex...which is blocked, and then Cortez is shoved to the canvas! Cortez comes up to his feet, and that's when Simon soars, nailing his adversary with his patented Blockbuster! TONY He caught him with the Blockbuster! Simon scrambles for the pin, hooking the leg of the Urban Legend! ONE! TWO! NO! BO PULLS SIMON OFF OF CORTEZ! Seeing the interference, Ned comes back into the ring to counteract Bo, and the two start brawling, spilling over to the corner. Simon pulls Cortez up, but gets hit with a low blow by Cortez...something Nick Patrick doesn't see as he's trying to restore order! Cortez grabs Simon by the throat and looks for an Urban Assault, but Simon elbows him in the side of the head, then hits him with an enzugiri! Cortez flops to the mat, while Ned lowbridges Bo, sending him over the top, and the Orange County Cobras have regained control, just like that! Patrick orders Ned out of the ring, and when Simon brings Cortez up again, Cortez shoves him backwards into Patrick, who falls out through the midddle rope and to the floor below! TONY That's certainly not good! Patrick goes boom right in front of Bo, who smirks at the sight of the referee going down...but his happiness is short lived when Ned hits a Thesz Press off the apron! Blanchard starts hammering away on Bo, while in the ring Cortez sets up for a Riot Act Plus, only to get backdropped out of it! All of a sudden, CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN and TANGO BOSLEY come rushing down, prying Ned off of Bo and beating him down at ringside! Simon goes rushing for his friend, but Todd pops up and nails him with a superkick to prevent it! Panicked, Molly Nerdly scurries up to the top rope and leaps off, delivering a bodypress that wipes out both members of VICE! COACH Look at Miss Molly, soaring like an eagle! Molly rolls into the aisle, perhaps still in shock from the move, as Ned slides into the ring and saves Simon from a 2-on-1 assault! The OCC and Anglesault's chosen ones pair off, brawling with each other with odds evened! The fair fight doesn't last long, as Cortez knees Simon in the gut and dumps him outside...but Simon lands on the apron and snaps Cortez over the top rope, then slingshots in and plants him with a DDT! Ned dumps Bo out to the floor, and seeing Molly being accosted by the recovering VICE, he hops out to the apron and dives from there, nailing both CPA and Bosley with a double clothesline! Back in the ring, Simon puts Cortez in the corner and sets him on top, then climbs up on top...only to get jabbed in the forehead by Cortez, whose fist is concealing something! Simon slips off the ropes, but Cortez catches him and pulls him up so that both men are standing on the top turnbuckle...and Cortez takes him by the throat and carries Simon into the air, driving him down from the heights above with a top rope URBAN ASSAULT~! TONY Urban Assault from off the top! Cortez covers, and on the floor Ned goes to slip back into the ring, but gets his foot hooked by Bo, who yanks him out to the floor and hits a murderous lariat that turns him inside out! Bo then shoves Patrick into the ring to make the count, as Simon's blood pools on the canvas. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds, and once again Anglesault's traditional theme song plays to signify the win of his two associates. A groggy Nick Patrick raises both their hands, and as soon as that's done Cortez breaks away and reaches into his boot again, then dives on top of Simon and starts jabbing away at his forehead! COACH What...what's he got in his hand? TONY Is that...that's a fork! COACH Just like what he did to J. Math! Cortez proceeds to viciously assault Simon, carving him up with the fork while Bo keeps Nick Patrick at bay! Ned, recovering on the outside, slides into the ring and tackles Todd, then starts hammering him to a huge pop...but Bo comes over and pulls him up, then takes Ned and SPIKES him with the Erotic Awakening of B~! Bo puts the boots to Ned, and Cortez then jumps on him and starts jabbing HIM with the spike, while VICE hold Molly by the arms at ringside! TONY This is just too much! You won the match, get out of the ring! Patrick tries to deter Cortez and Bo from working over the Cobras, but Bo simply shoves him aside. Moments later, Anglesault, flanked by his nephew Jason Silver, come down the ramp. Anglesault enters the ring and orders Cortez up, and Todd almost reluctantly stands up, heeding the orders of the man writing the checks. COACH Look at all that blood, Tony B. TONY Anglesault has awakened the dark, violent sides of these two men, that's for sure. Anglesault walks around the ring, making sure to avoid any puddles of plasma, and takes the mic, as his three charges stand tall. Molly continues to kick and scream on the outside, with VICE struggling to contain her. ANGLESAULT I warned you all what was going to happen, and I think that despite your allegiances, you can agree that I'm a man of my word. The fun and games are going to STOP in this company. This is real. Very, very real, and if you don't believe me, just look at these two men. Look at what's happened already to people like Michael Cole and Josh Matthews. Tonight, my men showcased not only their God given talents, but their newfound motivation. For months, they were cast aside, forgotten by all of you, thanks to Zack Malibu. Well, what you see before you, you can also thank Zack Malibu for. Silver cackles, while Cortez takes the fork and lunges at a camera man who gets a little too close to group. ANGLESAULT To those in the locker room who are considering a mutiny against the new terms and conditions I've set in motion, you are simply digging your own graves. You'd be best served to follow the examples of Mr. Allan and Mr. Bosley here, who have also been victim to the selfishness of other superstars in this company. I didn't ask for their help last week on HeldDOWN~!, nor did I ask for it here tonight. They are go-getters, seizing an opportunity that they know will only reward them greatly. The fact that a vast majority of you in the locker room can't see that or don't agree with it sickens me. To think, you're earning a living at MY expense, while you run roughshod through my company. You think that you're protected because any contract tampering or firings would show a bias? THINK AGAIN. I spent enough time with lawyers and in courtrooms...but if you think the locker room is a safe haven, or if this squared circle can contain the hatred that we collectively have, I urge you to come to a different conclusion as soon as possible, because you couldn't be farther from the truth. With that, AS drops the mic and exits the ring, followed by his charges. VICE release Molly, shoving her into the ring apron, and she hurriedly gets up and crawls into the ring, checking on the Cobras, who have lost quite a bit of blood in the past few minutes. The medical staff come down the ramp as Anglesault and his group go back up it, and they stop on the stage to survey the damage one last time before we fade out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Final Ride” by TRU hits as the stage is lit silver for the introduction of former OAOAST World Champion Reject. BUFFER OAOAST Marks, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the leader of the Deadly Alliance… from the Bronx, weighing 230 pounds… RRRRRREEEEEJECT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reject slithers into the ring and poses in the corner to a chorus of boos. COACH Reject looks ready for battle, T. BRANNIGAN I hope he is for his sake. Baron Windels has waited weeks to get his hands on Reject. If it weren’t for his interference BW might have entered tonight the World Champion. “Not Afraid” by Eminem hits and Baron Windels marches to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" * DINGDINGDING * BW pumps his fist and then gets face to face with Reject. Following some words Reject pie faces BW. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Reject continues to talk smack as BW trembles in rage, then unloads with a fury of rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Reject is back dropped and then hammered in the corner from the middle rope. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! Reject staggers out and gets clobbered by a boomerang lariat! BRANNIGAN MySpace Comeback! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW sets Reject on the top rope for a SUPERPLEX only to be shoved back to the mat and nailed with a MISSLE DROPKICK! COACH Classic Reject, huh, T? *laughs* Rather than go for the cover Reject hammers away on BW. “REJECT SUCKS!” “REJECT SUCKS!” “REJECT SUCKS!” REJECT Following a snap suplex Reject knees BW in the throat and receives a warning from the referee. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject rams BW into the buckle and follows up with a series of RVD-style kicks. Whipped to the far corner BW avoids a charge and connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! BRANNIGAN It’s Clobberin’ Time! Reject staggers to his feet and then a Texas sized right hand. Again. And again. Reject is fired in for backdrop, but he leapfrogs BW and delivers a Randy Savage clothesline, snapping the neck of the Lone Star Gunslinger off the top rope! COACH Oh yeah! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reject clamps on a reverse chinlock as the crowd rallies behind BW. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” BW pumps his fists as the adrenaline kicks in, then delivers a series of elbows to break Reject’s grip. Reject is whipped across but he ducks a BIG BOOT and executes a GERMAN SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Reject pounds the mat in frustration before scooping BW for a slam, but the Lone Star Gunslinger rolls through and wraps the R-Man up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Both men pop to their feet and exchange blows until Reject knees BW in the gut. Reject sets BW for a FISHERMAN’S BUSTER, but BW floats over and delivers the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT! NO!! Reject counters with a backdrop and THE EULOGY~! DOUBLE NO!!! Reject is shoved away and drilled with a BIG BOOT that knocks him outside. The 10 count begins. ONE… TWO… THREE… Not wanting to win by count out BW looks to bring Reject back in the hard way but is restrained by the official, who’s forced to start a second 10 count. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… BW gently moves the ref aside and goes to bring Reject back in when he’s struck by a STEEL CHAIN! BRANNIGAN Wait just a minute. Reject had something in his hand. COACH I didn’t see anything. Our tremendous production team captures Reject placing the chain back in his tights before re-entering the ring. BRANNIGAN There it was right there. A clear view of the steel chain used to knock BW out cold. COACH I think my monitor is faulty because I still couldn’t see anything. Reject counts along with the official as BW is counted out. ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR… FIVE… SIX… SEVEN… EIGHT… NINE… TEN!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match as result of a count out… RRRRRREEEEEEJECT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reject’s music hits and his arm is raised in victory. Meanwhile, BW remains unconscious outside. BRANNIGAN Reject has won the match, but he needed a steel chain to do it. COACH Like the old saying goes, nobody cares how you won just who won. And the record books will state Reject defeated Baron Windels at the Halloween Spectacular. BRANNIGAN OAOAST Marks, don’t you dare go away. More ghoulish action is on the way.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We cut to Buffer, standing in the center of the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is a first round Queen Of The Ring match in the Crystal division!M O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Lady Gaga's Money Honey summons the arrival of Lorelei DeCenzo. The always fabulous Dollar Doll looks especially fetching in ruffled pink feathered mini dress. She twirls around to give every audience member a look at all aspects of her perfect body. She then heads down the entrance ramp with nose held firmly in the air. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring from Manhattan Beach, California, she is THE MONEY HONEY……LORELEI DECEEEENZZZOOOO! BRANNIGAN Beverly Vista Elementary School has to be proud tonight, two of its alums, Maya and Lorelei are competing in this Queen of the Ring tournament. Lorelei enters the ring, where she shoes away the referee. She orders the camera man to keep the camera focused squarely on her as she strikes a beautiful pose.Crush Crush Crush CrushCrushCrush TWO THREE FOUR Green and gold lights flash and whirl as white pillars of smoke fill the graveyard. Beneath a white bridal viel, the spunky Maggie Nerdly skips into the tombstone filled entrance stage. She flashes the Nerdly RAWK~! hand signal to a crowd that gives the gesture back to her. Maggie then happily strolls down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with her huge fanbase. BUFFER And her opponent. From Edmonton, Alberta, she is the OAOAST’s very own “IT GIRL”…….MAAAAAAAAGGGGIIIIEEEE NNNNEEERRRDDDDDLLLYYYYY! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN Two former women’s champions are going to go at it this frightful Halloween Night. We saw Maggie Nerdly in trouble last HeldDOWN thanks to Anglesault and friends. But fortunately she got away safely and is here to compete at the Halloween Spectacular. Maggie enters the ring and positions herself in its center. She points her boquet of flowers to each turnbuckle, sending a tower of green pyro exploding from each one. COACH How can you have a queen of the ring tournament when you already have a queen in Esther? BRANNIGAN Its only a title to connotate greatness. I don’t think anyone could take delusional Esther’s place as “queen “ of the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Why do you use quotation marks? BRANNIGAN Because “Queen” Esther is crazy and seeks the council of squirrels and chipmunks! DING DING DING The It Girl pumps up the cheering audience, earning herself a round of chants in her name. With the fans solidly behind her, Maggie steps into a lockup. This does not go all that well for Maggie as the bigger more powerful Lorelei shoves her into the ropes. Forced back by the referee, Lorelei fluffs her golden hair and yawns. This annoys Maggie greatly, and she gets a measure of revenge by snapping onto Lorelei’s arm with a hammerlock. Maggie looks for her hammerlock DDT variation, but Lorelei powers out the hold. BRANNIGAN Maggie’s very small and she’s facing a very large Lorelei. COACH I’m gonna tell her you called her “large”. You gonna be calling matches in high school gyms and sellin’ autograph pictures out your trunk when she finds out. Maggie takes off to the ropes. Upon her return, Lorelei attempts to hip toss her. But Maggie blocks the attack with all her strength. Bothered by this, Lorelei begins punching Maggie in the stomach. With Maggie doubled over, Lorelei sets her up for the Cash Flow DDT. But Maggie manages to squirm free of the hold. She hammers Lorelei with a few right hands. But this assault comes to end when Lori kicks Maggie in the stomach. Lorelei then commits E-Commercide with an arm trap neckbreaker. LORELEI BRANNIGAN Taking a page out of my playbook, I see. COACH No offense, but you never looked so damn good. Lorelei gives Maggie a Moneymoon with a butt drop. She reaches backwards and grabs Maggie’s bare legs… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Of course, Lorelei argues the count. While her case does not get her far, it at least gives her a chance to vent her frustrations. Once that’s out the way The Money Honey grabs Maggie by her highlighted hair and begins dragging her upright. But little Maggie counters with a jaw breaker that staggers Lorelei. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” BRANNIGAN Lorelei may have wasted too much time complaining to the referee. Lorelei gets back to her feet, and recovers quickly enough to catch Maggie’s attacking foot. Problematiclly, Maggie’s other foot connects with a crowd popping enziguri! MAGGIE COACH LORELEI Lorelei lunges at Maggie with a lariat! However, the small Canadian ducks the attack and runs to the ropes. They spew her back…right into a powerslam from The Money Honey! BRANNIGAN There’s that power of the larger OAOAST Hottie! The refree drops into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie throws her shoulder off the canvas. This obviously frustrates Lorelei and she whines to the referee. Once she realizes that complaining will get her no where, she begrudgingly gets Maggie from the canvas. An Irish whip is reversed and Lorelei is caught with a short arm neckbreaker! Maggie jumps to her feet and flashes the RAWK~! hand signal. “MAGGIE! MAGGIE! MAGGIE!” BRANNIGAN The OAOAST Galaxy loves little Maggie Nerdly. They were appalled to see her used and abused by Anglesault’s goon squad this past week on HeldDOWN~! The It Girl carries herself to the second turnbuckle. After pumping up the sold out audience, she throws herself off the rope with an elbow drop that lands perfectly on Lorelei’s chest. A pinfall is then attempted… ONE! TWO! The count goes no further than two as Lorelei frees herself from the pin. COACH Mister Moneymaker may have to send out DA GOONS if this thing doesn’t turn around for Lorelei. BRANNIGAN I’m sure if any Enterprise member interferes, that this match will be ruled a disqualification of Lorelei and Maggie will advance. Maggie shoots Lorelei into the turnbuckles. Her little body takes flight and she connects with a body splash on her foe. The RAWK~! hand signal is flashed once more, before Maggie tries to carry her opponent across the ring with a bulldog. But Lorelei shoves Maggie away, landing her against the opposite turnbuckles. BRANNIGAN A great move by Lorelei. I think that bulldog could have knocked her out. Sensing blood in the water, Lorelei charges after Maggie. But Maggie gets her elbow up and wards Lorelei away. This gives her time to ascend to the second turnbuckle once more. She then comes flying with a missile dropkick that drops Lorelei to the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Maggie hooks Lorelei’s tanned legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” BRANNIGAN The winner of this match moves onto face the winner of Holly against Melody. COACH So basically the winner faces Holly. BRANNIGAN Don’t jump to conclusions. Holly may be the favorite to win the tournament but Melody could surprise us. Maggie pulls Lorelei into a hammerlock in set up for her hammerlock DDT. But just like before Lorelei’s raw power allows her to break free of the hold. Before Maggie can even react, Lorelei punishes her with a urange into a gutbuster! BRANNIGAN A powerful move from a powerful lady. I’d say Lorelei’s power is second only to Malaysia in terms of women in the OAOAST. COACH What about Alix and Krista? BRANNIGAN Krista and Alix aren’t very powerful. What allows them to win matches with relative ease is their lightening quick speed. COACH And their beautiful ass’es Lorelei leans across Maggie’s chest in an arrogant cover… ONE! TWO! Maggie with the kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lorelei is more frustrated than ever before and shrieks in flat out rage. She kicks at the bottom rope, and barks at the poor referee. BRANNIGAN Now this is unusual. Lorelei is always calm and even tempered, if not a little bit on the rude side. But we never see her throw a tantrum like this. COACH It’s the Queen Of The Ring, T-Bod, there’s shit at stake here. Lorelei picks Maggie up, and stuffs her between her legs in set up for a powerbomb. But as she lifts Maggie up, the smaller girl wheels backwards with a hurricanrana! As the fans cheer the counter, the referee drops down for the pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! KICKOUT! Enraged, Lorelei springs to her feet and tears through Maggie with a clothesline. BRANNIGAN There’s that power. Lorelei fluffs her hair, and struts about the ring before returning to pin Maggie with another arrogant cover… ONE! TWO! Maggie makes the kickout! Lorelei brings her to her feet and traps her inside a bear hug. BRANNIGAN Now there’s an old school move you don’t see often, and its being put into action by the voluptuous Money Honey. Maggie is dire straits, punished by the monstrously tight grip of Lorelei’s. “MAGGIE! MAGGIE! MAGGIE!” Lorelei swings Maggie around, trying to cause as much damage as humanly possible. The It Girl tries to fight her way free, but nothing will break Lorelei’s grip. Well, almost nothing. MAGGIE SCREAAAAMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOO! Caused unbearable damage by Maggie’s loud vocals, Lorelei frees the Canadian lass and attends to her own ears. This is unwise and causes catastrophic results as Maggie nails her hammerlock DDT! BRANNIGAN Happiness is Edmonton in your rearview mirror! Can Maggie Nerdly advance to the conference finals of the Crystal division? Maggie intends to find out as she pins Lorelei… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner and advancing to the conference finals of the Crystal division…MAGGIE NERDLY! There’s a huge pop for Maggie’s great accomplishment. She celebrates her victory with RAWK~! hand signals for all as she stands atop the second turnbuckle . BRANNIGAN What a victory by Maggie Nerdly, pulling victory out of the jaws of defeat. She moves on to face the winner of Holly versus Melody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 The scene is a local Applebees. Yes that’s Vinny’s idea of a romantic dinner. Melody is thoroughly unimpressed and disgusted by his urine stench. MELODY Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the arena and shower? VINNY What for? MELODY Your goofy cousin and a bunch of third graders just hurled pee at you. VINNY Oh that was lemonade. MELODY Pretty sure it was pee. VINNY No, smell. Vinny holds up his arm to give Melody a whiff of the “lemonade” MELODY :throwup: VINNY But enough about that. Let’s talk about you and me and our future together. MELODY Our future together? VINNY I imagine a future where we have at least 12 kids. Your mother produced ten, so you should be able to pop out 12. Just take a break from doing the dishes or the laundry and shoot one of those bastards up outta there! And you’re going to have quit the OAOAST. No woman of mine will be slumming around with these losers and squares! But don’t worry, your days will be full of exictment. You’ll have all our kids to raise while I’m on the road, and perhaps when I come back I’ll introduce a new sex partner to spice up our love life. And you can forget about those videogames you play all the time. You’ll need that time to cook me a three course meal and knock boots with me at least four times a week. Two times in a day on Christmas, but never on 9/11 because I abstain from any sexual contact in honor of our fallen heroes. Can you dig on that, Mellow Yellow? MELODY Um…. Melody can’t manage to respond as her chair is bumped by a large, heavily tattoed gentleman. MELODY Excuse me! MAN Excuse nothing, yukmouth bitch. You best to be moving that chair back some inches. MELODY My chair is fine, you need to watch where you’re going. MAN Naw bitch, you need to watch your mouth because I ain’t opposed to slapping a ho. VINNY Now, that is enough! Vinny stands up and clenches his fists in fury. MAN Who the fuck are you? Ol KC and the Sunshine band looking ass nigga. VINNY I’m her husband, and your worst nightmare. MAN What the hell did you just say to me? VINNY Di-di-did I stutter? I don’t think so. You heard me right, I’m calling you on the carpet and I’m gonna take my boogie shoes and boggie all up and down your boo-tay! MAN Aw hell no! VINNY Aw hell yes! Prepare for THE PAIN! Interjecting himself into the would be brawl is Quincy. He’s tired and out of breath, a sign that he came a great distance to be here. QUINCY (pant) Vinny, (pant), glad I found you (pant) VINNY What are you doing here? QUICNY I (pant) ran all the way (pant) from the arena (pant) because I gotta tell you (pant) that Waldo’s guy cancelled (pant) he can’t make it. VINNY What? QUINCY His baby mama busted him up with a rolling pin. VINNY Wait a second if Waldo’s guy cancelled, then that means this guy right here….oh shit. QUINCY Got dayum~! MAN (turning to Melody) Now as I was saying, I ain’t afraid to smack up no ho. VOICE I don’t think so! Biffman walks onto the scene in full superhero costume. He draws no odd stares, because it is Halloween and someone dressed up like that would be considered normal. MELODY Biff! MAN Now who the hell are you? BIFF I’m Biffman protector of the innocent. MAN You better protect your face! Before the man can even attempt to strike Biff, the superhero lays him out with a vicious right cross. BIFF Come Melody, I will take you back to the arena in the Biffmobile. MELODY My hero! Melody and Biff happily walk out the restaurant without any concern for Vinny’s health. QUINCY (to a waiter) Ya’ll serve hot wings?UP NEXT THE MAINEVENT 14 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH FOR THE WORLD TITLE!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 VS Our focus shifts to Michael Buffer, standing inside an orange spotlight in the OAOAST ring. BUFFER The following contest is a fourteen on two elimination match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” La ilaha illa Allah, ha la ili, hay yo Hili b'Allah, hey, hili bay yo We getting Arab money We getting Arab money Hala sheiki, ha lini falla Mili ha lan shi inni mala We getting Arab money We getting Arab money “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!” brings out Abdullah Abir Nerdly, clad in prayer robe and dancing with a heavenly joy. In mid dance he points to the backstage area. Suddenly a mass of humanity floods the graveyard. Arms are raised by the enthusiastic, muscles are flexed by the arrogant, and profanities are put forth by the vulgar. COACH There they be. The greatest team ever assembled in sports. They’re the 89-90 49ers , the 75 Reds, the 84-85 Lakers. BRANNIGAN I bet none of the players had to PAY to be on their teams like the members of the Church of Abdullah do. COACH Its called tithing, Tony. Tithing. Its how you give back to the lord. BRANNIGAN Its how you give to Abdullah’s bank account. BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, they are James Riggs, Sandman9000, Holly, Queen Esther, Logan Mann, Synth Abdul Jabar, Quiz, Felix Strutter, Cuban Wall, Rico De Janerio, Lucius Soul, Mister Dick, Malaysia, and the leader Abdullah Abir Nerdly, they are the CHURCH OF ABDULLLAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! COACH The final battle between the forces of the lord and the forces of the devil commences here in Nashville. BRANNIGAN And Christ himself will return to pass judgment upon Alix and Krista. :rollseyes: COACH Now you’re getting it! The Church Of Abdullah fills the ring, earning themselves further boos. They drop to their knees and join together in prayer. BRANNIGAN Any of those people could walk out of here the OAOAST World Champion. COACH But they won’t because they’re all dedicated to making sure Abdullah wins the title. BRANNIGAN I have a hard time believing that.Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The infectious pop beat of Girlfriend by Avril Lavinge floods the arena with it's familiar melody. It's soon accompanied by a thunderous ovation from the now standing crowd, who already throw chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!” into the sky. A pink pyro waterfall darts down from the ceiling splashing bright sparks about the entry way. It's then kissed by a stunning red pyro fountain. BRANNIGAN Here comes the big one! BOOM! A yellow pyro wall blazes in front of the gravetard. Through the plume of smoky haze steps Chicks Over Dicks, showing an eye pleasing amount of skin in skimpy orange micro skirts, and a black and orange Halloween themed top that exposes more than one of their “assets”. As Queen Esther frets over their lack of clothing, COD blow dual kisses at the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop up on screen. BUFFER And the opponents…., the most searched on Google in 2009, the Hollywood Bad Girl….ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAA! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2010's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a three time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are the 2010 Anderson Cup champions and six time tag team champions AMERICA’S SWEETHEARTS…CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! The girls hook arms and happily bounce down the entry way, showing no fear of any of the foes that stare them down. COACH I think that’s the last time we’re gonna see Krista with the world title for a long time. Chicks Over Dicks are good, but they ain’t good enough to stop and entire army. BRANNIGAN Every man and woman on that team must be pinned or submitted. That is no easy feat considering the pedigree of many of the team members. Krista gives the audience a taste of tanned, leggy heaven on earth by hanging herself upside down on the ring ropes. As pleasing as that is to the crowd, its even more pleasing to see Alix KISS her fitness queen girlfriend. Queen Esther shudders on the ring apron and does her best to divert her eyes. DING DING DING BRANNIGAN Fans, we have never seen anything like this in the history of the OAOAST Galaxy. A fourteen on two elimination match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight title. On orders from the holy man Abdullah, Cuban Wall begins the match against Krista. He receives rousing support from his fellow church members. COACH The Church of Abdullah is like the United Nations its got Cubans, Canadians, Syrians, Americans, Brazilians and Englishmen. Cuban Wall circles the world champion with a sneer resting on his rugged face. KRISTA Honey, who are you? I don’t get your Halloween costume. WALL Costume? You don’t know who I am? I’m the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner! KRISTA And I once ate nine cupcakes in one sitting when I was seven. So your point is? WALL My point is that I’m gonna crush you! Wall lunges at Krista with a punch, but Miss California ducks and runs to the ropes. Unfortunately she’s struck in the back of the head by Logan. She turns around to swipe at him. However, taking her eye of Wall was unwise as the Latino brawler clotheslines her to the ground. BRANNIGAN We’re already seeing what having 13 partners can do for you. Wall beats his chest as any good big man would do before laying his black boots into Krista’s head. BRANNIGAN These two met in the second round of the OAOAST Money In The Bank tournament where Krista won in a match where she got Wall to believe she was invisible! Wall picks Krista up and tags her with two hard punches to jaw. Dazed and hurting, Krista can’t defend herself from the body slam that drops her to the ground. Seeing Krista out on the ground, James Riggs demands a tag into the contest. Wall grants his request, and the bitter superstar enters the ring. COACH Tony, here’s a guy with a bone to pick with the OAOAST management. And what better way to do that than to break the bones of their prized starlet. Riggs scrapes Krista off the canvas, and sets her up for the a DDT. But Krista refuses to be planted onto the ground and offers Riggs a BLUE BALL SPECIAL! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA There’s so little to hold on to! RIGGS Riggs hollers out from a pain that seems like it will never end. Thankfully it does end as Rico enters the ring to club Krista in the back. Riggs takes a moment to compose himself and get his strength back. BRANNIGAN She could’ve snapped those things into pieces. I wouldn’t make the mistake of believing that’s not what she wanted to do. Riggs hooks Krista into a front facelock and sets her up for a vertical suplex. But as he tries to lift her off the ground Krista counters with a small package! Referee Chares Robinson gets into position to start the fall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER James Riggs has been eliminated! KRISTA James Riggs? Seriously Abdullah? That’s the best you can get? He looks like me without the huge rack, nice ass, and with massive amounts of acne. The match continues as Wall heads back into the ring and begins clubbing at Krista with forearms. Having her weakened, he grabs onto her neck and twists her around with a neckbreaker. BRANNIGAN James Riggs is out of here, but the odds are still in the Church Of Abdullah’s favor. The problem is any one could win the world title, leaving the leader out in the cold. Wall drops down onto Krista for a pinfall count… ONE! Its an easy kickout for the walk of famer. Frustrated with the failed count, Wall picks up by her flowing golden hair and tags her with a parade of punches. He unleashes a brutal uppercut that dumps Krista to the canvas and allows him to make another pinfall… ONE! TWO! The kickout is there but its not as easy for Krista as it was the last time. Sneering at Alix, Wall picks Krista up. He stuffs her between his legs and then raises her into the air for a powerbomb. The agile beauty suddenly rolls backwards and hurricanranas Wall! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Charles Robinson counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER The Cuban Wall has been eliminated! Abdullah stamps his feet on the ring apron, unable and unwilling to believe that he’s just lost two of his army. He angrily sends Synth into the ring to deal with Krista. This may have been unwise as a freshly tagged Alix comes Straight Out Of Compton with a springboard spear! As the fans loudly cheer the signature attack Alix hooks onto Synth’s legs for the fall… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! BUFFER Synth Abdul-Jabbar has been eliminated! ALIX Whoo-hooo a thousand monkey points! Krista and Alix high five…then turn right into a double lariat from Quiz! COACH What do you think Quiz would go as for Halloween, T-Bod? COACH He probably paints himself green and goes as the Hulk. That’s how big he is. Quiz roughly hauls Alix off the mat and shoves her into a neutral corner. With Abdullah and Queen Esther shouting for blood, Quiz charges in on Alix. But The Hollywood Bad Girl moves out the way and Quiz crashes into the turnbuckle posts. BRANNIGAN Quiz isn’t very fast and his lack of speed got him in trouble there. Quiz spins around ready to punch Alix in the face, only to find the brunette babe has one up on him and drop toe holds him to the ground. ALIX I @m teh Winn0r! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Quiz is to his feet and launches a lariat at Alix. The former US champion ducks the attack and comes up behind Quiz. She then leaps onto his expansive back and wraps her arms around his tree trunk thick neck. BRANNIGAN Alix is going for a move that’s not very characteristic of her. And I don’t think putting the big man to sleep will be all that easy. Quiz rumbles backwards and crushes Alix against the turnbuckle posts, breaking the hold. He then swings around and grabs onto Alix’s throat for a chokeslam. But the 6 time tag champ surprises him with a tornado single arm DDT! As the fans cheer, Felix enters the ring in an attempt to blindside Alix. But Alix is aware of his arrival and hiptosses him onto Quiz! While both men groan in pain, Alix leaps onto the third rope and comes back with a moonsault! The referee gets into position as Quiz is pinned beneath Alix and Felix… ONE! TWO! Quiz kicksout, amazingly throwing both performers off him. COACH This Quiz is a monster! He just threw two people off him like it weren’t nothing! Quiz hops to his feet and meets Alix with a boot to the stomach. He then grabs onto her in a pump handle position. She’s brought onto his shoulders as Abdullah cheers with glee. COACH School’s in session and its time for Alix to take a Pop Quiz. BRANNIGAN What kind of teacher gives homework on Halloween? However Alix wheels her way down Quiz back, landing on her feet. She quickly spins Quiz around and strikes him with a pair of boots to the gut. With Quiz doubled up, Alix latches onto his neck. Though he mounts a fierce struggle, he’s eventually victimized by a sommersault neckbreaker. BRANNIGAN Confessions of a Kristaholic! And this may be it for Quiz! Alix certainly hopes that’s the case as she pins the big man out of Calgary. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Quiz has been eliminated! The audience cheers their approval while Abdullah panics on the ring apron. He wails and moans about the loss of Quiz, and even the encouraging words of Logan can’t help him. BRANNIGAN Cuban Wall and Quiz are out, which means two of the Church of Abdullah’s heaviest hitters are out of this match. With Quiz out the way Alix turns her attention to Queen Esther. ALIX QUEEN ESTHER Oh good heavens! The horror! Make her stop at once! Lucius Soul enters the ring intent on stopping Alix from taunting the chaste Queen. He leaps at the Hollywood Bad Girl with a side kick that’s easily ducked. Alix tries to connect with a sidekick of her own, but misses as well. Her miss is more catastrophic than Soul’s as the New Orleans native grabs onto his shoulders in set up for the Fro2Sleep. BRANNIGAN The New Orleans Saints won the superbowl this year, can the New Orleans born and bred Lucius Soul win a world title? Alix begins elbowing Soul in the side of his skull. Though these blows hurt mightily, Soul keeps her locked in position. That is until Krista enters the ring and superkicks the former pimp! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” HOLLY What the (beep), Robinson, you gonna let that shit stand? Ignoring Holly, Robinson gets into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Rico breaks up the pinfall! BRANNIGAN Rico De Janerio was looking out for his partner right there. But he may have made it more difficult for him to win a world title by not letting Soul get pinned. COACH This is about getting the world title on to Abdullah’s waist. BRANNIGAN If you think these superstars are thinking of anything but winning the world title for themselves someone snuck some serious drugs into your Halloween candy stash. Paying no attention to silly things like tags and rules, Rico stays in the match to torment Alix with powerful elbows to her jaw. With Alix weakened Rico assumes that he can execute his famous razor edge style powerbomb. RICO Who wants a mustache ride? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Abdullah celebrates on the ring apron, almost one step closer to winning the world title. But as soon as Rico gets her in a crucifix position, Alix comes to life and begins wiggling against his grip. Though Rico tries to hold onto her, Alix eventually slips out his clutches. Without wasting time, Alix slams her furry boots into Rico’s back, sending him stumbling to the ropes. Thankfuly he finds a respite as Felix Strutter tags himself into the match. COACH The Deadly Alliance is about to make their presence felt, Tony. BRANNIGAN I should hope so, seeing that they’re working for brand new Mercedes Benzes. Strutter fluffs his braided hair as he takes in the quirky opponent laid in front of him. Finally after much fluffing he locks up with Alix. There’s a short tussle that ends when Alix wheels behind Strutter and captures him in a rear waistlock. Sadly she can not keep that hold as Strutter swings around to grab a waistlock of his own. Not allowing her any time to act, Strutter flings her backwards with a bridged German Suplex. Robinson counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix kicksout and the Ally Cats are delighted. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Less pleased is Felix who rolls Alix back to her feet with intentions set on another German Suplex. But of course, Krista must interject. KRISTA Honey, do you know Nazi propoganda minister Joseph Gobbells, the key figure behind the kristallnacht, also invented German suplexes? I had family that died in the holocaust and kristallnacht, and here you disrespecting their memory in such a manner. You make me sick! Feeling extremely guilty, Sturtter lets Alix go free. This is of course a horrible action; Alix gingerly snaps Strutter’s neck with an enziguiri! Strutter falls back towards his teammates. He’s given a much needed reprieve from Holly who tags herself into the contest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” HOLLY (beep) off! Happy to be facing someone her own size for once Alix gives Holly a welcoming HUG! HOLLY Ah! Get the (beep) of me, stupid bitch! ALIX You have a potty mouth, missy! HOLLY Eat a dick! ALIX (winking at Logan) Only if it’s a black one. Furious that Alix made a pass at her husband, Holly launches herself at the former US champion. Two tangle on the ground, taking turns at punching each other and pulling the other’s hair. Alix wins out on the little catfight, and giddily springs to her feet. Unfortunatley she’s hit in the back of the head by Abdullah. This move pays instant dividends for Holly as she’s able to plant Alix with a Percussion DDT! BRANNIGAN Could Holly have struck a pivotal blow for the Church of Abdullah? Holly gruffly orders Robinson to count the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix gets her shoulder up! BRANNIGAN The Percussion is as lethal as any DDT in the game, and although Alix kicked out, she’s going to be feeling the effects for a while. Holly grabs Alix by her chocolate coloured hair and drags her to the ropes. Holding Alix still she makes the tag with her husband Logan. LOGAN :headbang: HOLLY Holly holds Alix still, which allows Logan to swipe at her with a WICKED left hand. Alix falls to the ground in a heap as a worried Krista looks on. BRANNIGAN You notice the lack of double teaming by the Church of Abdullah. I believe that’s due to them all wanting the world title and not wanting to help another person win it. Simply put, this is a selfish team. Logan lands several stomps into Alix’s head, before punishing it with a fist drop. That seems to be enough work for Logan, who tags Lucius Soul back into the contest. Soul figures Alix is easily dealt with, and fills his time by picking at his fro. KRISTA Your fro looks like you glued Ron Jermey’s pubic hair to your skull. Well done. Defeated, Soul lazily brings Alix to her feet. The spunky brunette fights back with forearms to Soul’s face. Off the ropes she comes only to be leveled with an axe kick from the former pimp. LUCIUS I don’t know what you heard about me, but a bitch can’t a victory of me, because I’m a mother fucking P-I-M-P! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” The chants of you suck have a change in target as Sandman makes his way into the ring for the very first time. BRANNIGAN First time Alix and Sandman have ever met. But there’s no time for feeling out in the middle of a title match. Sandman bounces on his heels as he awaits Alix’s rise. When she finally does reach her feet, the former Heartland champion rushes her into a neutral corner. KRISTA Come on, Alix! You’re loosing a guy who wears sweatpants for pete’s sake. Sweatpants! Sweatpants or no, Sandman has his way with Alix, attacking her with vicious stomps. The attacks put Alix on the ground and a smile onto Esther’s face. Even more pleasing is the site of Sandman standing on Alix’s head. Once that becomes tiresome, he grabs her inside a front facelock and situates her atop the turnbuckle. He follows her up, expecting to nail a superplex. But Alix belts him in the gut with powerful punches that eventually knock him back down to the canvas. He hasn’t a second to regroup before Alix flies off the top rope and nails him with a missile dropkick! This earns the fans’ cheers, and they happily count along with the pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! Sandman with the kickout! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THRE!” While the audience voices their concerns to the referee, Sandman finds his way upright. Alix seizes his arm and attempts to Irish whip him to the ropes. But Sandman reverses it, and when Alix comes back he looks for a lariat. But Alix rolls beneath his strike, and rolls, and rolls, and keeps on rolling till she’s directly in front of Queen Esther. ALIX I think I have something on my shorts! Its like a Mexican jumping bean! It just makes me want to shake and grind, and who better to do it in front of than Queen Esther who can appreciate such finer things? QUEEN ESTHER Don’t you dare, you unruly heathen! ALIX QUEEN ESTHER *Faints* Alix returns her attention to Sandman, dropkicking him back into the corner. Alix follows that attack up by putting her heavenly ass back to good use and smashing it against Sandman’s face. Sandman staggers out the corner and is easily planted on the ground by a bulldog! Alix then hooks the legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Sandman gets to his feet under his own will power, but is thrown against the ropes by Alix. Thankfully, Rico makes a blind tag. He rumbles into the ring and levels Alix with a brutal lariat. Alix wirthes on the mat in anguish as Rico pokes at her with his boot. RICO Time for that mustache ride! Rico drags Alix into a front head scissors, then raises her into the air for the powerbomb. BRANNIGAN This doesn’t look good for Chicks Over Dicks! Once again Alix is able to make a timely escape, sliding down Rico’s back. Before Rico knows what’s what, Alix is making the tag to Krista! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista climbs the top rope and dismounts with a corckscrew moonsault press that drives Rico down into the canvas. Wasting little time, Miss California bounces off the ropes. Rico sits up as she returns, and the world champ is able to blast him in the face with a John Morrison style running knee. That’s enough for Krista to attempt a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! KRISTA Good lord, I used to have trick you into a doing a number from Mama Mia to beat you, but now you just let yourself lose after I graze your face with my knee and slap my thigh to make it sound like it actually hurt? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. BUFFER Rico De Janerio has been eliminated! Queen Esther comes to only to hear this horrifying announcement and nearly faints once again! COACH Somebody fan the Queen! Lucius Soul enters the ring to fight for Queen, country and some other crap. Unfortunatley Krista doesn’t much care about any of that nonsense and KIDologies him immediately upon entering. KRISTA I’m very glad no one has thrown magical crippling pixie dust at me. What a shame it would be if they put some on my legs. I bet I wouldn’t even be able to walk straight, much less wrestle a match! QUEEN ESTHER (to Abdullah) Ah-ha! Now is my chance to strike in the name of god and country! ABUDLLAH My child, it’s a trap! Esther ignores Abdullah and sneaks into the ring. Thinking she’s caught Krista unaware, Esther drops down behind her and prepares to rub pixie dust all over Krista’s legs. ALIX Hey, Krista, I think its booty time! KRISTA By George, I think you’re right. KRISTA “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Mere inches away from Krista’s jiggling ass, Esther suffers through extreme ungodly horror! Unable to come to grips with Krista’s bouncing butt being shoved into her face, the Queen breaks down in tears. BRANNIGAN Queen Esther should count her self lucky, that ass is probably worth more than every jewel in her crown. Adding to Esther’s terrifying ordeal, Krista moonsaults onto Lucius Soul. Robinson gets into position to count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Lucius Soul has been eliminated! BRANNIGAN If this were a normal tag team match someone would have broken up the pinfall. But every member of the CoA is out for number one, and the less people there are on their team the better their chances of winning the world title. Krista tags Alix into the match, and the Ally Cats are thrilled. But over in the CoA corner, chaos abounds as their membership has been rapidly depleted. On orders from Abdullah Felix Strutter enters the ring. He charges at Alix only to be sucked into a small package! ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Felix Strutter has been eliminated! HOLLY (beep) this, I’m gonna take these bitches out! Holly runs into the ring just the same as Strutter did mere moments ago. This time Alix leapfrogs the surly redhead and Holly takes a run off the ropes. When the former women’s champion returns, Alix rocks her jaw with a superkick! Holly stays on her feet, dazed and hurting from the blow. This means she’s easy picking for Alix, who wipes her out with a Confessions Of a Kristaholic! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Alix drapes her arm around Holly’s chest and goes for the pinfall…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Holly has been eliminated! Proving that chivalry is not dead, Logan enters the ring to defend his wife. Like others before him he makes a mad dash towards Alix, only to be avoided completely. Problematically his miss carries him into a spinning roundhouse from Krista! With Logan out on his feet, the girls take off to opposite ends of the ring. When Krista returns she strikes Logan with an enziguri the same time as Alix nails him with a leg sweep! The MACHO Macho Mann crumbles to the ground in an awkward position. Krista clears out the ring so that Logan may be pinned by Alix…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Logan Mann has been eliminated! ABDULLAH BRANNIGAN This must be how Custer felt. The Colonel is watching his army take a noisedive. Wave the white flag, I say. Things look slightly better for the CoA when Malaysia enters the contest for the first time. She smirks at Alix, before putting on a look pure rage and charging at the Hollywood Bad Girl. Unlike others before her, Malaysia does not miss on her attack and clotheslines Alix to the ground! COACH You still got Malaysia, Mister Dick, and Sandman on the Church of Abdullah. These guys are a murders row of performers. They’re the heavy hitters, everyone before them was grunts. BRANNIGAN Now they’re grunts! Before they were the most unstoppable army in the history of modern man. Malaysia takes an intense pleasure in grinding her boot into Alix’s throat. Warned off it by the referee, the Canadian has to figure out new ways to entertain herself. This doesn’t take long as she gets a sick joy in bashing Alix’s face against the ring posts. But again she’s warned away by the referee. This time Malaysia isn’t so compliant and shouts down the official. Robinson is suitably scared and lets Malaysia perform an illegal choke on Alix. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” BRANNIGAN The Ally Cats out in full force on this Halloween Night. Malaysia takes Alix’s wrist and throws her into the opposite corner. She rushes in after her and connects with a lariat! Alix stays upright and Malaysia leans in close whispering sexual comments to the brunette beauty before sucking on her ear! QUEEN ESTHER My stars and garters! Have impure leanings corrupted this team? Malaysia hoists Alix into the air with a gorillia press, before throwing her forward to the CoA corner. Alix screams out in pain, the impact of the fall too great for her thin body. Malaysia smiles at the carnage she’s wrought, taking an erotic glee in it. Equally pleased is Mister Dick, who demands a tag. Needless to say Malaysia gives him what he wishes for as well as a firm pat on the ass on his way to the ring. “YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK!” QUEEN ESTHER Its not physically possible for him to suck himself. Unless dick has some other meaning I don’t know of… BRANNIGAN Well here he comes. Two time OAOAST World Champion, the only world champion on the Church’s roster. COACH Mister Dick has played it cool all throughout this match, Tony. He’s relaxed, he’s refreshed and he’s looking to finally beat Alix. Mister Dick spares not a second in tormenting Alix, as he picks her up and nails her with a discus punch! Alix staggers backwards, but is held in place by a full nelson. The Human Hard On then raises her into the air and gives her a pure penetration! Adding insult to injury, MD gives her an unwelcome crotch chop. BRANNIGAN You know a man like Jock Mulligan doesn’t care about getting Abdullah the world title, he only cares about defeating Alix and getting the belt for himself. COACH Tony, you wiggin’ out. Abdullah healed Mister Dick, and Mister Dick has joined the Church to show his appreciation and offer his aid to the cause. Mister Dick grabs onto Alix’s tanned legs and then slingshots her backwards to the corner. But Alix lands on her furry snowboots. She takes a moment to catch her breath, and then prepares to fly back at MD. But the Cocky Prick runs up behind her and clubs her in the back. He pulls her out the corner and attaches her into a front facelock. Panic fills the stands as Abdullah is overcome with immense joy at the upcoming Jackhammer. MD doesn’t disappoint, nailing Alix with the vaunted finisher. COACH Krista’s title hopes just got dashed by a Jackhammer. No way Alix kicks out of this. MD plants his foot onto Alix’s chest for a cocky pinfall for a cocky prick… ONE! TWO! Krista breaks up the pinfall with a shove to MD’s back. Not pleased with this in the slightest MD shouts at Krista, who shouts right on back. BRANNIGAN These two old enemies will be going at it as long as there is an OAOAST. Mister Dick finally has all he can stand of Krista, and grabs her by surprise in order to toss her out the ring! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BRANNIGAN You certainly don’t want to anger Krista if you can avoid it, but Jock is one of the two people to ever beat her one on one so maybe he’s on to something. MD turns his attention back to Alix and finds himself sucked into a small package… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Irate over nearly being defeated, Mister Dick grabs his crotch and spits on Alix! An angered Alix responds by lunging for the Human Hard On. But he cuts her short with a diving lariat. As he figures he’s exerted too much effort in his limited time, MD applies the tag to his old running buddy Sandman. BRANNIGAN No love lost between those two, I can assure you. Sandman immediately runs forward and drops and elbow across Alix’s back. Another one follows, before Sandman brings Alix upright. He tags her with a pair of sharp leg kicks. These do enough damage to lock Alix into place as he runs the ropes. Upon returning Sandman smashes his boot into Alix’s face with a yakuza kick! Down goes Alix, in an incredible amount of pain. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Working at a methodical pace, Sandman slowly picks Alix up in order to tag her with a pair of elbow strikes. Pleased with the damage they’ve done, Sandman snapmares Alix to the canvas. Within seconds he’s drop kicking her in the back. Alix falls over to her side, whimpering in pain. ABDULLAH and QUEEN ESTHER BRANNIGAN I have to wonder if the Colonel will ever get involved in the battle he created. COACH You didn’t see GW pumping Iraqis full of slugs do you? He’s the mastermind of this army and he’s gonna get his just rewards soon. Sandman affixes Alix into the H8 lock! The pain is immediate, and Alix grits her teeth to fight against it. But no amount of teeth grinding will save her from the lethal submission hold. QUEEN ESTHER Submit! Submit ye wicked jezebel! Alix looks on the verge of following Queen Esther’s orders as the misery is overwhelming. Thankfuly a guardian angel sends in Krista who connects with the back of Sandman’s skull with a John Morrison style running knee. The former Heartland Champion sags to the canvas, his eyes drained of all life. BRANNIGAN Sandman never saw that knee coming, and he could be out, ladies and gentlemen. Alix lays her arm across Sandman’s chest for a crucial pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Sandman9000 has been eliminated! BRANNIGAN Both Deadly Alliance members are gone and we’ll see if they’ll be collecting on those Mercedes Benzes Abdullah promised them. ABDULLAH While the leader of the army tries to compose himself, Malaysia reenters the contest. COACH Let’s get it done, Malaysia, there’s still time to turn the tide of battle. Malaysia sends Alix hurtling into the ropes. Alix comes flying back with a crossbody block, but finds herself caught by the former women’s champion. Malaysia bridges backwards and throws Alix away with a fallaway slam! COACH My main bitch Malaysia swaggin like a mug up in here. Its about to get real ugly for Alix and Krista. Alix makes an effort to get upright, but she meets heavy resistance in the form of forearms from Malaysia. The former women’s champion takes extreme pleasure in raking Alix’s back. Alix staggers forward and Malaysia follows her retreat, smiling gleefully over the damage she’s about to cause. She hooks her arms around Alix’s waist and then lifts her into the air for a back suplex. But Alix slides out the hold and comes down behind Malaysia. Acting quickly, she runs to the ropes. But upon her return Malaysia nearly drives her through the canvas with a spinebuster! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Bam! That’s that real gangsta shit! Malaysia’s is hot and she’s grimy and gutter as all hell. You gotta love her. Malaysia hooks onto Alix’s legs for a crucial pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix with the kickout! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Leaving Abdullah to debate the count with the referee, Malaysia hauls Alix upright and traps her inside a standing head scissors. BRANNIGAN Could this be the Canadian Backbreaker Piledriver? COACH We gonna eat good off this one, brehs! Much to Malaysia’s surprise, Alix summons the strength to throw her overhead with a back drop! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans loudly approve of Alix’s counter. Meanwhile in her corner, Krista implores Alix to make the tag. Though the trek is arduous for Alix, she throws herself into its completion. Malaysia stirs rather quickly, and eyes a way to stop Alix. But before she can reach her foe, Alix is slapping hands with Krista! BRANNIGAN The champ is back in it! Malaysia meets Krista with right jabs, but these strikes are easily shrugged off. Malaysia is then whipped into the ropes by Krista. Her return sees her dropped to the canvas courtesy of a spinning wheel kick! Krista quickly drops a leg across Malaysia’s neck and attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! Malaysia is brought to her feet and whipped into the corner. Krista follows her in and drives a knee directly into her face. The dominatrix falls over to the canvas, the life ripped out of her from that knee. This is perfect for Krista who leaps onto the third rope and flies back with a split legged corckscrew moonsault! As the audience cheers the attack, Krista goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Malaysia has been eliminated! BRANNIGAN Its down to Queen Esther, Abdullah, and Mister Dick for the Church of Abdullah. Such good odds were completely wasted by selfish performers. Poor team play and no strategy means that the advantage goes to Chicks Over Dicks. A highly annoyed MD correctly assumes he’s the Church’s only hope for victory. Thus he prepares to once again do battle with his archrival. However, Krista gets the jump on him and knocks him off the ring apron with a Hebrew Hammer! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Oh Abdullah, honey, I think we have a date! ABDULLAH Looking for the nearest exit proves a pointless exercise as Krista flings the holy man into the ring. COACH His holiness! BRANNIGAN He wanted to be champion. Here is his best chance to become one. A panicked Abdullah removes a cross necklace and holds it in front of Krista to ward her off. ABDULLAH I repel your homosexual lifestyle of soul damning nation destroying filth! Stay back, non believer! KRISTA Oh, honey, when I sold my soul to Satan for a nice ass I got immunity from all crosses. Abdullah tries a different strategy to save his ass, namely placation. ABDULLAH I am your friend and brethren, I am eager to be one with you; to oppose the Wicked with you; and to join Christ in the air with you, when he comes in power and glory to claim his own and punish the disobedient! All the nations are going to fight against Israel and persecute you Jews like never before in your history, until the indignation of the Lord is fulfilled! Israel is a savage hypocritical nation of filthy sinners before God, disproportionately engaged in sodomy, abortion, pornography and idolatry, while claiming to be the chosen people! I offer you a chance to repent your wicked Judaism ways and join me in a walk with the lord. Let your sins be absolved and come to the side of good. The Church of Abdullah welcomes you, and your famil- SUPERKICK BY KRISTA! KRISTA I’m sorry but he would just not shut up. Krista places one finger on Abdullah’s chest for a pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Abdullah Abir Nerdly has been…ELIMINATED! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans leap to their feet and celebrate the Colonel’s demise. BRANNIGAN Down goes the mastermind behind this entire war! COACH God wanted him to have the world title! We’re all about to face heaven’s wrath! I’m getting my black ass the hell on outta here! While Coach looks for a secure hiding spot from the lord, Mister Dick reenters the fray. The last of two remnants of the CoA, MD grabs Krista in a full nelson in set up for the Pure Penetration! But Alix saves the day with a spring board dropkick to MD’s back. This forces him to release Krista, allowing her to set up a double team with Alix. Together they run the ropes. But as they return Mister Dick surges forward to lariat them both to the ground. BRANNIGAN The Church of Abdullah lies in ruins and its Mister Dick trying to secure the world title for himself. Wanting to punish Alix more than Krista, MD pitches the world champion over the ropes. QUEEN ESTHER Good show, young man! COACH See? Mister Dick ain’t alone, he’s got Queen Esther on his side. BRANNIGAN Oh that’s a big help. Mister Dick picks Alix off the canvas, doing so that he may throw her into the corner. He offers both crowd and opponent a crotch chop that leaves both infuriated. If that weren’t maddening enough, MD rips away his chaps and his trunks to reveal a glittery silver thong! QUEEN ESTHER Dear heavens! I feel a strange unexplainable tingling between my legs. COACH Just like the Spartans of old, Mister Dick conquers foes in naked glory! MD charges towards Alix and makes her bite his shiny metal dick! The brunette beauty stumbles out the corner and carries herself right into a front facelock by the Human Hard On. He hoists her into the air, pausing to taunt the crowd with cruel words, before slamming her to the canvas with the Jackhammer! COACH You’re looking at a three time world champion, Tony! Mister Dick edges closer to that goal as he pins Alix… ONE! Krista tries to get into the ring to save Alix. TWO! But she’s pelted in the face by magic pixie dust from Queen Esther! Robinson notices this and abruptly ends his count so that he may chastise the Queen and DQ her from this contest! BUFFER Queen Esther has been eliminated! BRANNIGAN The Human Hard On just lost his “support”! COACH That’s not fair, Tony, Queen Esther was just trying to improve Krista’s eye sight so she won’t need lasik. That stuff has magic healing properties. MISTER DICK Son, if you don’t hurry yer ass up and count this pin I’m gonna be on you like stink on shit. Robinson gets the message and returns to count MD’s pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! ALIX MIRACOULOSLY KICKSOUT! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” COACH That ain’t right, Tony! That first count would’ve put Alix away! BRANNIGAN Blame Queen Esther and her magic pixie dust. After dispensing a few choice words to the referee, MD turns his attention back to Alix. But as he nears her, the Hollywood Bad Girl slams a trio of punches into his shredded stomach. MD responds with a forearm aimed at her face. But Alix goes low to dropkick him in the knees. MD falls to these now aching knees, letting Alix easily connect with a low flying enziguiri! BRANNIGAN Nailed him with that one! Clutching his sore head, MD hops to his feet. But he’s immediately thrown back down to the ground by a dropsault from the former US champion. While MD groans in pain, Alix takes to the ropes. When she returns, she hits a now standing MD with a leg lariat! BRANNIGAN Krista is blinded by the pixie dust, leaving Alix to defend her title for her. Alix takes hold of MD’s arm and shoots him into the corner. She follows after him, but a raised cowboy boot from the bethonged grappler wards her away. MD backs up to the second rope and flexes his powerful muscles to the delight of absolutely no one. After that, he flies at Alix with a cross body block. But Alix dropkicks him out the air! BRANNIGAN High risk, low reward play for Mister Dick, who is usually fairly cautious about what moves he tries. Alix jackknifes MD for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! No! Alix goes to pick MD up, but finds herself poked in the eye by the Texas A&M alum. BRANNIGAN That’s slightly better than having pixie dust thrown into your eyes. MD nails Alix with the Pure Penetration! A cover is immediately made as the Nashville audience looks on in horror… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! ALIX KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK To hell with this shit! Mister Dick slides out the ring, much to everyone’s confusion. With both members of COD laid out for the time being, MD takes a leisurely stroll around the ring before stopping at the Spanish announce table to grab one of their monitors. BRANNIGAN Does Mister Dick have any respect for the rules of this great sport? COACH This is the OAOAST. There are no rules! MD enters the ring with eyes set on Alix, raising the monitor to strike her in the back. But Krista remerges to connect with a spear! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! MD kicksout! After he does so, Malaysia begins making her way back to the ring. Krista notices her arrival and immediately exits the ring to confront her. As the two ladies trade blows, MD shifts his focus back to Alix. He fastens her into a standing head scissors, then lifts her up and powerbombs her into the turnbuckles! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!” Mister Dick heaps more misery on her as he runs in and once again makes her bite his shiny metal dick! Alix stumbles out the corner, and Mister Dick latches onto her with a front facelock. He begins raising her into the air for the Jackhammer. But Alix counters with a small package… ONE! TWO! THREE! Mister Dick kicksout! But its too late! MISTER DICK BUFFER Mister Dick has been eliminated! Therefore your winner is, the NEW oaoast World Champion….ALLLLIIIIXXX MAAAARRRRRRIAAA SPEZZZZZIAAAAAAA! KRISTA ALIX As soon as they recover from their moment of shock, the Ally Cats in attendance put forth an enormous pop in celebration of the new world champion. Pink and red confetti descend from the ceilings as pink pyro explodes around the entrance stage. This earns a delightful round of applause from the brand new world champion. BRANNIGAN Fans, your eyes are not deceiving you, Alix Maria Spezia, is your new world champion! What a victory! Alix recieves her world title belt with a gushing smile. So happy, she gives the referee a massive hug and attempts to twirl him around in the air. A little too heavy, the referee has to settle for an appreciative pat on the head. On the outside Krista has resigned herself to a state of total confusion. COACH What the hell kind of girlfriend is that? Just swoop on in and steal your shit? I don’t even let my bitches touch my Iphone, can’t imagine them taking away a world title. Alix is damn selfish for this one, that ain’t her world title, that’s Krista’s. Alix happily dances with several overjoyed fans in the front row in her impromptu victory party. What she doesn’t notice is that a dejected Krista is quietly slinking to the backstage area. BRANNIGAN The rules did say whoever got the final elimination would be OAOAST World Champion. Alix just so happened to get that final elimination. COACH Just because its legal don’t make it right. If I was Krista I’d be hitting up the ghost of Ike Turner for some spousal abuse tips, this shit ain’t right. BRANNIGAN Seeing how happy Alix is right now, I don't know how you could call it wrong! As Alix celebrates with her Ally Cats we....FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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