Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We go straight to Sofa Central, which is decorated in a Halloween theme with festive pumpkins, Tombstones, and monster stand-ups. BRANNIGAN Hello world, and welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I am Tony Brannigan sitting alongside Da Coach, as we head into the Halloween Spectacular we have superstars with frightening agendas such as the Church of Abdullah who will put Quiz against their target of Krista. COACH Quiz Vs Krista? We gonna eat good of this one, brehs! Ain't no way Krista's coming out with the W. Last week on HeldDOWN~!, the first shot of retaliation against Anglesault and his crew was fired, as the Orange County Cobras made their return. Ned and Simon were victims of the inaugural assault perpetrated by Bohemoth, Todd Cortez and Jason Silver, and struck back last week, drawing the ire of the company founder and his charges. COACH Yo, you don't think that was a good idea, do you Tony B.? I ain't so sure about this one. TONY It's obvious that Anglesault is looking to rule with an iron fist, as he claims Zack Malibu sent the company into disarray over the past several years. He put forth an open invitation for anyone in the locker room willing to help him "purge" the company, but the only opening that was taken was the chance for the Cobras to get some revenge! "Slither" plays, and whips the crowd into a frenzy, as Molly Nerdly enters the arena first, leading her charges in front of the crowd. TONY This team has certainly endured a lot during their OAOAST tenure, but now they get a hero's welcome! Who would have thought we'd ever see the day? COACH I'm just wondering how long it'll be until their name changes again! The ever pleasant Molly retrieves a pair of microphones for the Cobras, as they each work the crowd from atop the turnbuckles. Moments later all three are in the ring, and Ned opts to start. NED We're out here tonight for one reason, and that's for a little clarification. Anglesault, last week, when we rattled your boys with steel chairs, that meant we were turning down your offer! *crowd cheers* NED Now, I'm sure I can't speak for everyone...this is the wrestling business after all. There might be some people who believe your lies, and think the grass will be greener if they run with you. Me and Simon here, we haven't always been known for the best decisions, but the truth is we like the OAOAST just fine the way it is! You had your boys take out me and my partner, mi amigo, my brother from another mother. You took out Krista. Even Michael Cole and Josh Matthews weren't spared from your wrath. Well now, you've opened up Pandora's box, and the things that are going to jump out at you are a pair of Cobras! SIMON My partner has made it clear, but let's reiterate...The Orange County Cobras have no interest in being a part of your agenda. I guess as the saying goes "this means war". You drew first blood on us the night you came back. You made a statement at our expense, and once upon a time, we would have applauded you for that. Now, me and Ned here, we won't applaud you for it, we'll just return the favor! The Halloween Spectacular is coming up in just a few weeks, and the Orange County Cobras need a couple of fresh asses to kick! The crowd is ecstatic, as the Cobras have thrown down the challenge. Within moments, "Medal" booms over the PA, and out walk the four men responsible for the most carnage the OAOAST has seen in years. Anglesault leads the pack, and gets into the ring, while Cortez, Silver, and Bohemoth each jump up on the apron, their eyes focused on the Cobras and Ms. Nerdly. Anglesault approaches the Cobras smiling, but then swipes the microphone from Ned, and backs up a few steps. ANGLESAULT Let's all keep our cool, gentlemen. My associates have already been warned, because I think we can handle this diplomatically. First, I wanted to give the two of you credit for last week. You've shown that you've got balls by rushing the ring and coming after us. You're the first two people to take a shot at us since I made my intentions clear, so congratulations to you. Ned, Simon, and Molly are not impressed with the praise, and the crowd can sense it's not sincere in nature, as they boo the founder. ANGLESAULT My next order of business is to offer condolences to you on the end of your career, because your bravery is equivalent to stupidity. You say that you like the OAOAST the way it is? Why, because it allows you to run rampant, doing whatever the hell you feel like? The two of you have caused such embarrassment for this company, but yet you think it's all supposed to wash away because you managed to get the fans to cheer for you? That's a thought process that Zack Malibu made famous. The only reason you two were able to live out your real life soap operas is because Malibu didn't rule with an iron fist. There was no balance, no structure, no control over this company until I came back, and the first thing he did was try to prevent me from fixing what he broke. Well, now the joke is on you and the rest of the misfits in the back, because there WILL be a change in company policy. There will be a status quo, rules to abide by, regulations to adhere to. I've said it a million times, the biggest mistake that this roster made was forgetting whose company this really is...MINE. Zack Malibu was simply a pawn, a puppet, just a piece of the puzzle. I used Zack for the money, for the press, for the benefit of this company. Zack Malibu the name meant something...it always will. But Zack Malibu the man is the biggest detriment this business ever saw, and it's rubbed off on MY business. So, I ask you, Cobras...if I hate Zack Malibu so much, why would I want to keep a locker room full of second rate wannabes around? SIMON Let's face it, Anglesault, this isn't about you and Zack. Zack's always going to be your fallback excuse. What you're dealing with is the insecurity that this company got bigger and better WITHOUT you. No disrespect to Zack, because he did his part...but it wasn't just about him. It was about all of us! Every single one of us has made a mark on this company in some way, contributing to its history. Everyone likes to relive their glory days, but your reminiscing is leading you to prevent the necessary evolution of the OAOAST. The things today aren't the same as they were one, two, three years ago, and this very moment could be a butterfly effect that leads to some great change for the future. You need to learn to adapt, boss. ANGLESAULT You're telling me how to run my company? SIMON We're not going to tell you how to run it, you do what you want. But don't expect to bend over and have us kissing your ass like the golden boys you've got doing it already. You took us down once, but we came back. And now, we want a piece of your crew. Any two. ANGLESAULT Any two? At this point, Bo, Cortez, and Silver all get in the ring, surrounding Molly and her men. ANGLESAULT I'll tell you what. At the Halloween Spectacular, you can have your match. The Orange County Cobras taking on The Metrosexual Monster, Bohemoth, and the Urban Legend, Todd Cortez! Bo cracks his neck, smirking at the announcement. Cortez just rolls his wrists. ANGLESAULT There you go, boys. At the Halloween Spectacular, you'll get your two. Tonight, you get a reprieve. Anglesault directs traffic again, ordering Bo, Silver, and Cortez to back off and exit the ring. ANGLESAULT There's no need for any back and forth tonight. Right now, we're even. But I can guarantee you, after the Halloween Spectacular, you're going to regret your grandstanding. As for you, little lady, I know you're quite the movie buff, but let me let you in on a little secret...the heroes die in this one. With that, Anglesault walks off and leaves the Cobras and Molly in the ring. He and his crew head back up the ramp, leaving a pissed off Molly Nerdly and the OCC in the ring, awaiting their battle in just a few short weeks.QUEEN OF THE RING FEATURING: HOLLY, MEGAN SKYE, AND MORE!COMING SOONCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break with our focus on ring announcer Michael Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is set for one fall. In the ring, from Mariatta, Georgia... weighing one hundred, ninety six pounds... JOEY CARSON! The unknown competitor nods his head and smirks. BRANNIGAN Young rookie out of the OAOVW system, Joey Carson. Suddenly, the sounds of troubled streets, police alarms and fleeing citizens, can be heard through the arena. A woman screams as a single spotlight searches around the arena. Eventually it focuses on the ceiling, shining a giant "A". A triumphant fanfare sounds before "The Power" hits and Biffman answers his call to duty! COACH Oh my lord. Biffman places his hands on his hips in a heroic pose and looks to the skies, before marching to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent! Being accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY! From Venice Beach, California... he weighs two hundred and twenty GIGATONS~! Ladies and gentlemen, citizens of earth, look, in the aisle... IT'S BBIIIIFFFFFFFMMAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH wat Biff stomps up the steps, still in heroic pose. His attempts to climb into the ring in heroic pose are a bit awkward, with his neck craned up in the air and his hands on his hips. So Melody tells him it's okay to stop, letting him enter the ring... and hit the heroic pose again! BRANNIGAN Biffman! I guess the transformation is complete and the OAOAST's resident superhero is here! COACH I repeat... "wat" *DINGDINGDING* Sweeping off his cape, Biff marches into the middle of the ring with hands on hips and raises a fist in the air. Not impressed, Carson attacks from behind. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MELODY Come on! Who attacks a superhero from behind? At least have the courtesy to tell him exactly what your plan is in advance, so he can come up with a complicated and often times implausible escape. Don't you watch any movies!? Carson clubs away on Biff, then tries an irish whip. But with superhuman strength (and his other arm wrapped around the rope), Biff stops it. He wags a gloved finger at Carson, then delivers a right hand. And another. And a third. Carson manages to cut Biffman off with a boot to the gut though. He then turns and hits the ropes... and gets cut off with a SPEAR!! BRANNIGAN I have that one wrote down as "BIFF SMASH", in all capitals. That's from Incredible Hulk, right? COACH Pretty sure, yeah. BRANNIGAN Right. Glad we got that cleared up without too much exposition. Biffman clubbers away on Carson before whipping him to the ropes. Clothesline is ducked, but a running high knee isn't! BIFFMAN UP AND ATLAS! Cover by Biff... 1... 2... No! With a scoop and a slam, Biff sets Carson up. Showing his newfound courage, the resident superhero climbs to the middle rope. Adjusting his mask Biff then extends his arms out into superman position... and slightly ungracefully falls from the ropes into a big splash. COACH FUCK WAS THAT Melody applauds, as Biff hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Setting Carson up, Biff goes to put him away with a big running Super Bomb out of the corner. But Carson manages to push himself up and away, landing on his feet. Biffman puts on the brakes and turns around, to be met with a thrust kick to the gut. By the masked head, Carson then drops Biff face first across a knee. BRANNIGAN Carson fighting back here. COACH Hell of a superhero Biff turned out to be, huh? Once a loser, always a loser Tony. Just a loser in a costume and it ain't even Halloween yet! Going up to the middle rope, Carson clasps his hands together for a big double axe off the ropes... CAUGHT! Biff blocks the double axe, trapping Carson's arms down by his side and hitting a Side Belly To Belly! BRANNIGAN You were saying? Biffman looks to the skies in triumphant manner one more time, ready to secure another victory for the powers of good. He picks a winded Carson up onto his shoulders, getting him in position before throwing him forward and sitting out with the Fanfare For The Super Man! 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... BBIIIIIFFFFMMMAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Biff hops up and hits his triumphant pose, made even more triumphant by Melody's best efforts of showing Biff off like an expensive game-show prize. BRANNIGAN I hope you learned a valuable lesson, Coach. Never count out a superhero! COACH How much are they paying you to say stuff like this, man? A victorious Biffman exits with Melody, still in superhero pose and sure to end up with a sore back because of it. Seriously, try it. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT THE CHURCH OF ABDULLAH STRIKES KRISTA VS QUIZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Returning from break we find ourselves in the Deadly Alliance locker room where Reject and Sandman are in an argument, while Melissa listens in disgust. REJECT I say you’re wrong. SANDMAN And I say you’re an idiot. REJECT I’m the idiot? Look in the mirror if you want to see an idiot. MELISSA I can’t believe you guys are arguing about this. REJECT Leonardo could easily kick Donatello’s ass. SANDMAN Bullshit. Donatello was a genius, he’d scheme up some kind of machine to chop Leonardo’s legs off. REJECT In a one on one street fight, Leonardo wins. All Donatello has is a wooden stick! SANDMAN All I have is a wooden stick. Think you can kick my ass? REJECT MELISSA You guys are so stupid. Thankfully, the unusual argument is broken up by Abdullah Abir Nerdly entering the room. ABDULLAH Reject, Sandman, dear sister, it is an honor and a pleasure. MELISSA Hi, Abdullah. REJECT The speaker of the prophets here in the Deadly Alliance locker room. Heh, God is good! What can we do for you, Colonel? ABDULLAH My children, I am an emissary of peace, but today I come to you as harbinger of war. As you might know the Church of Abdullah is embroiled in a war that threatens the heavens themselves. We are at war with Krista Isadora Duncan, the ultimate demoness. SANDMAN Demoness? That’s one way to describe her. REJECT Stuck up bitch is another. ABDULLAH This war taxes us, my children. Though the enemy is few, it is all powerful and all consuming, with strength and resources to rival our holy creator himself! Despite the terrible odds the Church of Abdullah faces, my children, noble heroes have come from lands far and wide to bear arms against Krista! These men are the brave, the proud, and they are the few. And that, my children, is a problem. To combat this enemy and her wicked deeds we need more than just several well intentioned souls. We need an army of incredible might! I am amassing one, and its tales will be the stuff of legends, my children! That is why I’ve come to you today, to beseech you to join the Church of Abdullah in this war. REJECT Hmmmm. The whole point of this is to get you the world title? So why should we help you win a belt that *I* deserve more than anyone? ABDULLAH Because, my child, to the victor goes the spoils and with the world title I stand to reap a windfall of currency, currency that God has demanded I have, and a good portion of that currency will go to providing you all with a brand new Mercedes Benzes. REJECT Now you’re starting to make sense. Sandy are you up for a little war? SANDMAN Just tell me who to kill and BANG they’re dead. REJECT I got my own problems with Windels but I can give you Sandy and Felix, That enough? ABDULLAH They are more than welcome additions to this army of the lord. Praise be unto you, my child. Abdullah KISSES Reject’s hand and takes his leave. REJECT You’ve got some brother. MELISSA Tell me about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Back to ringside and dramatic music plays as spotlights shine on the world famous interview stage. COACH Is this an interview segment or a cage match about to take place? BRANNIGAN Anything can happen in the OAOAST, but since this is the first podium interview in sometime it's getting the red carpet treatment. COACH A better entrance than half the OAOAST roster! OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor takes his place onstage and introduces his guest. TERRY Ladies and gentlemen… MR. DICK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"Motherfucker of the Year hits and MD hobbles out in CRUTCHES and a NECK BRACE, Malaysia at his side. TERRY What is this? MALAYSIA What do you mean, what is this? Didn’t you see what happened last week? He got hit by an SUV! TERRY But there weren’t any reports of a serious injury. MR. DICK Don’t cry for me OAOAST Galaxy. I don’t need your pity, just Malaysia’s titties to comfort me during this tough time. *grimaces* See, a normal man wouldn’t have survived the crash I did. Clearly it was divine intervention. My mission here is not done. There’s still plenty of untapped ass and Alix Maria Spezia has yet to submit to this man! “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” “YOU SUCK, DICK!” MR. DICK & MALAYSIA BRANNIGAN This packed house letting Mr. Dick know how they feel about him. MR. DICK Once I heal Alix will learn what everybody should know by now: nobody dicks around with me. Nobody. “Motherfucker of the Year” cues and MD jaws with the crowd. COACH On the bright side, at least Mr. Dick didn’t drive his segway off a cliff!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 “Not Afraid” by Eminem hits and Baron Windels power walks to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, from Cleveland, Ohio… STEVENSON PARKER!! Parker raises his arm to scattered boos and a few cheers, likely from family members. BUFFER And his opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BW is all business, no fist pumps or smiles this week. BRANNIGAN Poor Stevenson Parker. He has the unfortunate task of facing Baron Windels a week after he was denied the opportunity to regain the World title thanks to Reject. COACH An opportunity he only got because Reject was passed over for the shot, I might add. BRANNIGAN Only the voices in his mind believe that. * DINGDINGDING * BW slams Parker out of a lockup and gets shoved in return, which the Lone Star Gunslinger responds to with a big right hand! COACH Well that wasn’t very smart. Fired into the ropes Parker is leveled by a BIG BOOT. He staggers to his feet and into an inverted atomic drop, followed by a face to face meeting with BW’s rump. BRANNIGAN Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! BW heads up top and IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! COACH DAYUM~! That one almost decapitated Parker. BW serves Parker a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BW’s hand is raised in victory as OAOAST correspondent Terry Taylor joins him in the ring. TERRY Another big win for Baron Windels. But BW, I gotta ask you about what happened here last week on HeldDOWN~! in your match against Krista. I mean… BARON Reject cost me the opportunity of regaining the World title, right? Look, I’m not here to make any excuses. Fact is, I’m not the World Champion. Whatever beef Reject has is with the OAOAST, but now there’s a second meat patty on his plate and its name is Baron Windels. Because our paths are gonna cross at some point as we both vie for a shot at the World title, and when they do… believe me, I’m gonna have last week on the back of my mind.OAOAST HALLOWEEN SPECTACULAR IV LIVE Halloween night on TSM and The PitCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage we find the unusual sight of a wheel chair bound MICHAEL COLE chatting with several backstage officials.MARV andMEL approach Cole with warm smiles on their face. MARV What’s up, Michael Cole? COLE Hey there, guys! MEL You look good, man. COLE For being put through a table, bloodied, beaten and left for dead, I think so. What have you guys been up to? MEL Man, Melody just got Playsation move and NBA 2k11 for the PS3, and we’re playing that shit in 3d, man! MARV On the right type of weed man its like you can have a conversation with Chris Bosh or somebody. MEL Why’d you gotta go and leave TO, CB? Why, damn it, why? MARV The summer’s free agency has got my bro a little shook up. So, when are you comin’ back, man, everyone misses you. COLE I’m not sure. Things are being ran by Anglesault, and after what he did to me…I’m just lucky he and his thugs haven’t come and broke what little bones I still have intact! HOLLY (OS) Is that Mikey Cole? Is it really him?HOLLY enters the scene with a sneer planted on her face. COLE Hello, Holly. HOLLY Jesus Christ, what (beep) grave did you crawl out of? COLE I just got released from the hospital a few days ago, and wanted to come back to see my friends. HOLLY Is that so? Great to see you back, though. The announce team isn’t the same without a faggot like you shouting VINTAGE every (beep) four seconds, and whining about someone being a damn bully. Oh and don’t forget dick riding every ballless pussy on the roster. COLE I’m just sorry I missed Jade beating you at Zero Hour. I would’ve loved to call that match. HOLLY That right? We’ll (beep)face its your lucky god damn day, I have that match on DVD and why don’t we watch the (beep) in the tourbus and you can give me your personal commentary. COLE I’d rather just stay here. HOLLY Come on, it’ll be good for shits and giggles. Let’s roll. MARV Bad pun. Ignoring Cole’s protests, Holly wheels him away from his friends. MEL Should we go after him? MARV Naw man, Melody said I got next on 2K. The camera catches up with Holly and Cole as Holly guides him down a vacant hallway. HOLLY Just a little bit further. COLE I’d prefer if you just take me back to where I was. HOLLY Don’t be a faggot, Mikey Cole. We’re going to have fun. Holly runs into a stairwell that has her quite perplexed. HOLLY Who the (beep) put stairs in an arena? Where the (beep) is the (beep) elevator? Your fat ass is too heavy for me to schlep all the way down the stairs… COLE You wouldn’t. HOLLY I will and I am, mother(beep). COLE No! Please don’t! Holly chuckles visciously as she sends Cole tumbling down the stairs! His screams echo throughout the area as his broken body bounces off the steps. He lands in a battered and bruised heap at the bottom of the staircase. Holly stands at the top, engrossed in a wild laughter. COLE Ah! My leg! My leg! HOLLY Walking up to Cole’s wreckage is…MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD MAYA This is awful! What is your problem, firecrotch? HOLLY Don’t (beep) call me that! MAYA Come down and make me! HOLLY You’re damn lucky your parents are who they are, because if they weren’t, you’d be lying right next to that pussy. COACH I never thought I’d be so happy to see a cripple get sonned. Cole haters, WE EATIN GOOD off this one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 BRANNIGAN Well, it WAS great to see Michael Cole, and its just a shame that Holly has set his recovery back. As Michael would say she's a damn bully! Right now let's throw it backstage to our broadcast colleague Terry Taylor. COACH He's a "colleague" now? Fu... TAYLOR Hey guys, Terry Taylor here, backstage in the locker room of the Cucaracha Kingdom! Terry's excitement at another non-life threatening assignment stands him out from the crowd. There's very little excitement from anyone else in the room. The rest of the Kingdom stand around the two thrones, in which the King and Queen sit. Queen Esther looks deeply sad. As, in the other throne, King Landon hangs his head but can't hide an EYEPATCH under his regal crown. TAYLOR Guys, it was a mixed night for you at Zero Hour. And Landon, first off I've got to ask, what's the deal? I know Halloween's coming up, but first a King, now you're a pirate too? Almost everyone in the room glares at Terry, not digging the joke. The King looks up and sighs. KING LANDON Terrence, you've finally got a job where you don't require danger money. Let's not screw that up, shall we? TAYLOR I apologise. But, what is with the eyepatch? KING LANDON I'd really prefer we not talk about it. TAYLOR Well, it is sort of... obvious. It's pretty hard not to notice it. KING LANDON Yes, but it's a touchy subject, so if you don't mind... TAYLOR I mean, is it because of the dust in the eyes from Queen Esther? QUEEN ESTHER Much to Terry's surprise, the Queen starts to BAWL her eyes out! Rolling his eyes... well, the one that he can roll... King Landon signals to Rico, who tries to comfort the Queen and calm her down. KING LANDON Satisfied? TAYLOR I'm sorry. KING LANDON Look, Zero Hour, there were certain... miscommunications. And as you can tell, now that you've brought it up, the Queen is feeling pretty bad about them. But it's not her fault. It really isn't. TAYLOR Who's fault was it then? The King struggles for an answer... which causes the Queen to start bawling again. TAYLOR I'm sorry. KING LANDON Look, it doesn't matter who's fault it was. The point is, it happened. And now the Kingdom must move on. TAYLOR Well speaking of moving on, at Zero Hour we saw an all-out melee between your Kingdom and a group of OAOAST stars you've had your problems with in the past. Nathaniel Black, The Last Kings Of Scotland and Alexander The Brutal, all running your troops off. Now, next week, The Last Kings and Alexander are scheduled for challenge for your OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Titles. And a lot of people are speculating that it's Megan Skye, foreign liason for the OAOAST, who has pushed this match through with OAOAST management. But what's your condition going to be by next week? With the Queen finally calmed down, King Landon is able to turn full attention to Terry. KING LANDON Next week? Despite all of your 'jokes', I didn't get this eyepatch from a joke store. I have an eye injury. So if you're asking if my eye will be better by next week, the simple answer is, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I'm a King. But, lest anyone think this is some sort of an 'excuse', there will be a 6-Man Title defence next week. And if I can't compete, then I'll name a suitable replacement. See I won't let my Kingdom be put under threat by some jilted-ex syndrome or whatever's going on in Megan's pretty little head. It's almost sad, if you think about it. She sees me with my success and my riches, my lavish surroundings, my luxurious robe and expensive crown. And she's jealous. She had her chance and she didn't measure up to a King's standards. So now she's all upset and she's decided that if she can't have me, she's going to destroy me instead, or something? It's a little pathetic. Let's be honest. That's okay. Let Megan put together her little band of foreign misfits if it makes her happy. Let her think she's a 'leader', the way I had to humour her by giving her menial jobs to carry out, just to keep her happy. I just hope seeing me get more successful and her falling further into obscurity, that she can cope with that. Because whether it's me, or whether it's my most suitable replacement, two years of dominance will not be coming to an end next week. Long live the most triumphant championship reign in the OAOAST and long live the King! A triumphant raising of the hands accompanies that line, the King feeling a little better about himself now he's had the chance to talk about himself a bit. TAYLOR I have one more question. If that stuff the Queen's throwing is really 'magic', can't she just throw another handful at you and cure it? Sour faced, the King looks up at Terry. KING LANDON She insisted on trying that already. Why do you think I'm still hurt? TAYLOR And with that, back to you Tony! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 La ilaha illa Allah, ha la ili, hay yo Hili b'Allah, hey, hili bay yo We getting Arab money We getting Arab money Hala sheiki, ha lini falla Mili ha lan shi inni mala We getting Arab money We getting Arab money summons the mighty Quiz and his spiritual guide, Abdullah Abir Nerdly from the backstage area. Abdullah dances around Quiz as the fearsome Canadian cracks his knuckles and smirks at the camera. BUFFER The following non title contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his way to the ring being accompanied by Abdullah Abir Nerdly, he hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, he is QUIIIIZZZZZZZZ! Showered by boos the Alberta based duo heads down the entrance ramp. COACH We gonna eat good on this one, brehs! Krista’s no match for someone Quiz’s size. She’s the lightest person outside the women’s division and Quiz is one of the heaviest. BRANNIGAN You should know by now not to bet against Krista. Her speed, resilliencey, and unorthodox style makes her tough foe no matter what your size. Quiz enters the ring and raises his arms to boos from the audience. Abdullah applauds him and sings his praises. BRANNIGAN It’s a chance for the Chruch of Abdullah to draw first blood in this war against Krista. They’ve already recruited Sandman, Felix Strutter and Queen Esther of all people. Now they need to stop talking and start acting. Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey Dancers flood the stage all dressed as hyper sexualized nuns to taunt the holy man Abdullah. They writhe and grind their lovely bodies atop the stage as Abdullah watches on in disgust and the crowd watches on in delight. Even more thrilling to the crowd is the sight of the world champion clad in the skimpy attire of a black micro skirt, and a glittering red halter top. She strikes an alluring pose atop the entrance stage before heading down an entrance ramp that’s soaked with glitter. BUFFER She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, a member of the Hollywood walk of fame, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a three time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Krista provides an eye pleasing sight of her gorgeous legs by hanging upside on the third rope. BRANNIGAN Krista faces very unfair odds in this war, its about 8 on 1 right now. Krista’s a fighter but she’s no miracle worker. DING DING DING The two competitors begin with a lockup, which doesn't exactly go Krista's way. She's shoved into the ropes, and greeted with a smile from Quiz. KRISTA Okay, let's see if you're still smiling after I pull down your tights and reveal your shrunken due to over use of steroids testicles. Krista swings behind Quiz and grabs a waistlock. This does her little good as Quiz is able to break free and capture her in an armwrench. He twists her arm around and slams it down onto his shoulders. This causes Krista great pain. But what's even worse is the clothesline he slams into her. BRANNIGAN Down goes the world champion. You have to ask yourself is Quiz too big for Krista to handle? Honestly, he just might be. Quiz stomps at Krista, before picking her up and whipping her into the ropes. Quiz lowers his head, and Krista leapfrogs him. Coming back off the ropes, she bulldogs the big man to the ground. Quickly getting to his feet, Quiz retreats to the corner, and ducks his body beneath the ropes to catch a breather. KRISTA Are you serious? I'm a 150 year old single mother and you're ducking me. You're supposed to crush me. That'd be like Christian Wright ducking a child to molest. Quiz doesn't seem to care about Krista's qualms and steps onto the ring apron so that he may discuss strategy with Abdullah. KRISTA And he's supposed to give you wrestling advice. Him? That's like getting tax advice from Wesley Snipes. Krista finally has enough and springboards of the top rope to dropkick Quiz in the face! The big man tumbles off the apron and onto the outside mats. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Damn Krista just took Quiz out. Quiz is up soon enough, and he is mighty angry. He enters the ring and throws a punch at Krista. But the world champion ducks the blow and begins kicking Quiz in the shins. These blows are merely piddling and Quiz stops them by kicking Krista in the stomach. He wraps his arms around her waist and attempts a gut wrench suplex. But Krista counters by DDTing him into the mats. This earns a grand pop from the audience. However, Quiz quickly arrives at an upright position. He shoves Krista into the ropes, and lowers his head once again expecting her to leapfrog him. But Krista returns only to kick him in the face! Quiz rockets upright, and is caught by a side effect! BRANNIGAN Blonds Never Pay A Cover! CLASSIC Krista! As usual, Quiz is back to his feet and attacks Krista with an overhand right. Weakening her, he's able to whip her into the ropes. When she returns the big man press slams her into the air. After showcasing his strength for several seconds, he drops her throat first across the top cable. The crowd winces as Krista falls back to the ring, in a world of hurt. Quiz gives her no relief as he punishes her with cruel stomps. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” The chants of the audience do little to help the world champion, as Quiz brings her to her feet and terrorizes her with a pair of powerful forearms. He then scoops her and simply slams her to the ground with powerful force. Her squirming body is pinned to the canvas by the big man and a pinfall is counted… ONE! TWO! Krista finds the strength needed to kickout! COACH What doesn’t Quiz have, Tony? He’s got size, skill and toughness. All he needs is a big break. BRANNIGAN Beating the world champion would be huge for this rookie out of Calgary. Quiz picks Krista off the canvas and launches her into the ropes. But much to his dismay, Krista returns full of fire. Her gorgeous legs wrap around Quiz’s neck and throw him to the canvas with a hurricanrana! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Quiz hops upright, and instantly starts seeking revenge. He throws a big boot at Krista, but the fitness queen catches hold of his foot and shoves him backwards. Quiz rumbles back towards Krista but is halted by her raised hand. KRISTA Stop. Hammer time. QUIZ The burly Canadian launches a lariat at Krista, but the MC Hammmer fiend ducks the attack! Quiz swings around to catch Krista with a punch, but she nails him in the jaw with a leaping heel kick. The big man tumbles backwards, dumping himself into the ropes who in turn eject him from the ring. BRANNIGAN Quiz with a big tumble! Any time you can take a big man off his feet, you’ve done yourself a serious favor. Abdullah rushes over to check on his bodyguard, fearful over the turn this match had taken. Meanwhile Krista elevates herself onto the top rope in the most ass revealing way possible. She prepares to assail Quiz with a high risk attack, but Abdullah steps in front of him. KRISTA You have neither boobs nor are you confined to a wheel chair, so you think that would stop me is a wonder. Done talking, Krista throws herself at Quiz with a cross body block! But the big Canadian catches her within his arms. Once again showing off his power, he press slams her back into the ring. COACH Oh man, did you see that strength? BRANNIGAN I saw it and Quiz needs to use it more if he wants to upset the world champion. Krista picks herself up, and leans against the corner posts. Quiz quickly enters the ring, and makes a speedy charge at her. Thankfully she’s able to get her heels up to ward him away. She scampers up to the second rope and uses it as a launching pad to send herself towards her foe with another cross body block. Yet once again Quiz catches her in his arms. Wasting little time, he shifts her into a front facelock and raises her into the air for a vertical suplex. But, Krista slithers out the hold and tries to hook her arms around Quiz’s midsection. BRANNIGAN What could Krista be doing here? Not much apparently as Quiz elbows her away. Quiz follows her retreat and grabs onto her wrist. He pulls her in close and strikes her down with a short arm lariat! A pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! Krista with the kickout! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH That was some clothesline by big Quiz. He could’ve shredded Krista in half. BRANNIGAN Quiz’s power makes him as dangerous as any superstar in the OAOAST. Quiz locks Krista into a reverse chinlock to slow things down. The OAOAST Galaxy immediately gets behind Krista and rallies her to her feet. Mere elbows don’t help Krista out her predicament thus she’s forced to go for more questionable methods such as the BLUE BALL SPECIAL! QUIZ COACH She’s got him by the grapefruits! Disqualify her! BRANNIGAN Every man’s fantasy and every man’s nightmare all rolled into one. Quiz saves his family jewels from further pain by shoving Krista away and into the corner. Enraged, he eyes revenge as he charges in on her. But she slips through the ropes, and Quiz crashes into the turnbuckle posts. As the fans cheer his miscue, the native of Calgary stumbles backwards. This gives Krista the time she needs to climb to the top turnbuckle. The fans rise to their feet, expecting a death defying assault. However, all they got is a recovered Quiz crotching Krista on the posts. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BRANNIGAN The fans may not like it, but Quiz may have saved himself from certain defeat with that simple move. Much to everyone’s surprise, Quiz ascends to the top rope. He batters Krista with punches before hooking her into a front facelock. As the fans stare on in wonderment, Quiz then launches himself backwards to slam Krista into the canvas with a superplex! COACH DAYUM~! BRANNIGAN Agility and strength on display by the big man Quiz. Could that be enough for the Church of Abdullah to strike a major blow in their war against Krista? Quiz needs a moment to recover from the lethal impact of his hold. Once he does, he hooks Krista’s legs for a crucial pinfall… ONE! TWO! A nearfall as Krista gets the shoulder up. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Quiz scrapes Krista off the mat and tags her with a pair of elbows. After that he sends her into the ropes. When she returns he flings her into the air with a back body drop. But Krista amazingly lands on her heels. Unaware of this, Quiz turns around and steps right into a Pele kick! BRANNIGAN Quiz got caught there. You have to keep your guard up at all times, you can never let it down. As an angry Quiz rises to his feet, Krista makes a move to the ropes. They spit her back towards her foe, and she takes him off his feet with a spinning wheel kick! COACH Damn, things are looking bad for the Church of Abdullah. This isn’t how you want to start a war. Quiz is to his feet with incredible speed. This doesn’t worry Krista, as she simply springboards off the top rope and nails her rival with a spring board dropkick. Down goes Quiz, to the immense delight of the fans. KRISTA Booty time! KRISTA “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” A standing moonsault follows up that arousing display! The referee gets into position and counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” As Abdullah urges the audience to be silent, Krista hauls Quiz’s massive body upright. She attempts an irish whip to the corner, but the Canadian easily reverses it. Quiz darts in after her, hoping to crush her bones with a body splash. But Krista places her hands on the third rope, and uses it to spring into the air. Problematically, Quiz catches onto her and sets her up for a running powerslam! COACH Don’t you call it an upset, Tony! I knew my boy Quiz could handle Krista all along! Coach’s words come far too soon as Krista is easily able to shimmy out his hold and roll him up for a pin! ONE! TWO! Quiz pops out the pin! BRANNIGAN A very close count in this war between the Church of Abdullah and Krista. Krista runs the ropes…and is caught by a SPINEBUSTER! Her body crumbles against the canvas, and she screams in agony. On Abdullah’s orders, Quiz goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! Quiz complains to the referee about the count, but his issues fall upon deaf ears. Left to take his frustrations out on Krista, Quiz runs the ropes and leaps into the air for a leg drop! But Krista rolls out the way, and Quiz’s rather large ass slams into the canvas. Sensing an opportunity, Krista runs the ropes and comes back to slam a John Morrison style knee into Quiz’s face! BRANNIGAN She could’ve broken his nose with that shot! Krista leaps onto the third rope for a split legged moonsault. But somehow Quiz is on his feet and captures her inside a rear waist lock. He quickly throws her backwards for a German suplex! But Krista lands on her feet! This infuriates Quiz and he darts right towards her. Unfortunatley he runs right into a KIDology (codebreaker)! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans delight, as Abdullah falls over in shock and disgust. Krista lays across Quiz’s expansive body for the pin… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…..KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! A huge pop joins with a On Top of The World to sing Krista’s victory song. The world champion sips on a fresh martini, and smiles at Abdullah. ABDULLAH The war has only just begun, my child! Only just begun!COMMERCIAL We return from commercial break with Krista walking to her rental car with daughters Maya and Jade trailing behind her. MAYA You’re stupid. JADE No you’re stupid. MAYA You’re stupid. JADE No you’re stupid! KRISTA Both of you are stupid and are huge disappointments! MAYA AND JADE KRISTA Kidding....kind of. Krista opens the trunk of the rental car, preparing to put their bags inside. But QUEEN ESTHER emerges from the trunk to throw PIXIE DUST in her face. KRISTA What the hell? QUEEN ESTHER Guards! Seize her! Queen Esther is tackled to the ground by Jade and Maya. But this is just the distraction needed for SANDMAN and LUCIUS SOUL to shove Krista into the trunk. Before Maya and Jade can stop them the Church of Abdullah members jump into the car and drive off with Krista trapped in the trunk! MAYA Mom! BRANNIGAN They just kidnapped the world champion! Good lord!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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