Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We go immediately to sofa central, where Tony Brannigan and Da Coach wait to call the action. BRANNIGAN Hello world! This is OAOAST HeldDOWN coming at you live from the Verizon Center in the nation's capital. I am Tony Brannigan sitting alongside The Coach Jonathan Coachman for an explosive show! THE MAINEVENT CUCARACHA KINGDOM VS CHICKS OVER DICKS, LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND, NATHANIEL BLACK, AND ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL BRANNIGAN It doesn't get much bigger than that!Motherfucker of the year fires up to a resounding chorous of boos. Emerging from the backstage area with Malaysia at his side, is former world champion Mister Dick. The Human Hard On wears silver chaps, a glittering cowboy hat, and black booty shorts. BRANNIGAN It appears this show will begin with a word from the OAOAST Galaxy's cockiest prick. Mister Dick enters the ring and is handed a microphone. This does not please the crowd one bit. "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! MISTER DICK I ain't come out here to hear your bellyachin and your moanin! "YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK! YOU SUCK, DICK!" MISTER DICK I ain't asking you to shut up, I'm tellin' ya'll to shut up! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MISTER DICK If ya'll don't quit your yappin, I'm gonna walk on out this here ring. No scratch that I ain't gonna give you the satisfaction of running me off like a farmer with a shotgun runs off a fox. I'm Mister Dick and I don't deserve no disrespect! What I definitley don't deserve is two twisted lesbians freakin' on my childhood bed! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" MISTER DICK Ya'll ain't got no reason to cheer that. I was more embarssed than a prized heifer in a tutu. I ain't never been more humliated in my adult life. That was the worst thing I ever had to see. Even worse than seeing your grandparents bumpin' uglies. The only reason I didn't come out and Jackhammer those dykes into the dirt is because I'm a damn nice guy. BRANNIGAN What? MISTER DICK Being the nice guy that I am, I thought I'd go on Syndicated and just get me an apology from Alix, and put this whole mess behind me. But what happened when I went on Syndicated? I ain't get no apology! Instead I got taunted like a retard hobbling around in a helmet with a chin strap. Alix and Maya ain't do nothing but make fun of me. Then they had the audacity to say I done got what I deserved. Got what I deserved? I already lost my world title on a fluke victory. BRANNIGAN That was hardly a fluke. MISTER DICK I done lost my lover because she ain't nothin' but a gold chasing whore. I think I got plenty of what I supposedly deserve. And they kept on makin fun of me, kept on and kept on. I don't deserve to be talked to that way, you wouldn't even talk to that way to a whore on nickel night at brothel! I'm a man with pride, and a proud man can only take so much abuse. So I went and did the only thing I could do and that's tear up the damn Syndicated set. I went through that thing like a tornado through a trailer park in Iowa. And I woulda started on them two devils Maya and Alix, but security came and done dragged me away kicking and screaming. That ain't right! COACH No it isn't. MISTER DICK Then I hear Alix on HeldDOWN~! last week, whinin' and grousin' about her set. She actually went and said she's gonna get me good. Woman, I wish you would get me good. Because if you come after me the only thing you're going to get is a nice hard dick! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MISTER DICK In fact I'm gonna go ahead and lay down a challenge. Alix, if you got issues with the Human Hard On, then you best mount up because I say we have ourselves a duel at Zero Hour. BRANNIGAN What a match that would be! SNOOP DOGGGreetings loved ones Lets take a journey KATY PERRYCalifornia girls We're unforgettable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top Sun-kissed skin So hot Will melt your popsicle Oooooh Oh Oooooh California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh "YEAAAAAAAAAA!" Alix appears on the entrance stage wearing white chaps and a white cowboy hat. In other words she's dressed just like Mister Dick. ALIX Howdy! MISTER DICK Woman, what the hell are you wearing? ALIX I got my chaps, my cowboy hat, and my Dixie Chicks t-shirt, I'm a cowgirl just like you! Yeehaw! MISTER DICK I don't listen to no Dixie Chicks. ALIX Oh, your Mastercard bill with the ebay purchase of one of their concert worn panties says differently. By the way I saw you spent 50$ on a riding crop, if you're looking for riding crops, my dad got his taken away before he went to jail so I can get you one really cheap. A good deal for a fellow cowboy. Yeehaw! MISTER DICK You ain't no cowboy! ALIX Sure I am, I ain't rode no horse because of beastiality laws, but I've ridden plenty of cowboys in my day, just check the pictures from the family reunion. Yeehaw! I ain't rounded up any caddle, but I went to a preschool and done gone lassoed me some four year olds. The cops didn't seem to understanding about it, but we're cowboys we don't follow no rules! MISTER DICK You ain't no cowboy! ALIX I even done gone and started talking just like you! MISTER DICK I don't talk like that! ALIX You and I are plenty a like! We're both rootin' tootin cowboys, we've both had our fair share of questionable sexual experimentation, we both wear women's underwear, we're both the bottoms when it comes time to introduce the good old strap on into the bedroom. MISTER DICK That ain't true! ALIX The only thing I'm missing is a transexual Nerdly and hideous amounts of back acne. MISTER DICK I ain't got no back acne! ALIX Please, your back looks like a pepperoni lovers' pizza from Pizza Hut. Yehaw! MISTER DICK Just shut up, will you! You ain't no cowgirl, you ain't nothin' but an annoying bitch that's done popped off at the mouth one too many times. Obviously someone's gotta shut your trap, and that someone is gonna be me. So do you take my challenge? ALIX Well, Jock, my man, its hard to take you seriously as a bad ass, when you're wearing the same glittery hat the stripper I got Jade was wearing. She didn't seem to appreciate me getting her one. Maybe because the stripper was nothing more than a toothless boxcar hobo that dry humped her leg. But you want a match with moi at Zero Hour? That's usually when the maids and I plan out a revolution against Krista's tyrannical rule, before I realize I'm actually just talking to a mop and a rubber glove. But I suppose I can fit you in, on one condition. MISTER DICK What's that? ALIX That we conduct the match on planet Remulak in front of the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live. MISTER DICK That ain't even a real planet! ALIX Okay, fine, new condition. You think you're hot shit, I think I'm hot shit, what better way to show who's hotter than the first ever female/male bra and panties match! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" MISTER DICK You got yourself a date, woman. I'm gonna strip you naked and violate you in ways you ain't ever been violated before.. ALIX Considering I've had sex several times with a drunk Krista after the Lakers lose, I doubt you'll bring anything new to the table. But yay bra and panties! Awesome! We cut to commercial with Alix celebrating the newly announced match, and Mister Dick affixing a murderous glare upon herCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Returning from break, “Not Afraid” by Eminem hits and former OAOAST World Champion Baron Windels marches to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, from the Everglades… OUTHOUSE JAAAAAACK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" OUTHOUSE JACK BUFFER And his opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Jack attacks BW as he enters the ring. Whipped into the ropes BW ducks a clothesline and drills Jack with a BOOMERANG LARIAT. BRANNIGAN Far-fetched as it sounds, it's a MySpace Comeback! BW takes Jack to the corner and unloads from the middle rope. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!! Jack stumbles out and gets spiked with a BULLDOG. BW quickly follows with THE BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT and the cover. COACH You gotta be kidding me. Already? BRANNIGAN Baron Windels obviously doesn’t work by the hour. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BRANNIGAN A dominate performance by Baron Windels as he looks to work his way back up the ladder in pursuit of another World title shot. For now let's head to the interview lounge where Maggie Nerdly is with OAOAST Women's Champion, Jade Rodez-Duncan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 In the interview loungeMAGGIE NERDLY is withJADE RODEZ-DUNCAN andMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD MAGGIE What's up, ya'll? Your It Girl on the scene, Maggie Nerdly, chilling backstage with my friends Jade Rodez-Duncan and Maya Duncan-Blanchard. Jade, you're about two weeks away from Zero Hour where you'll defend your women's title against Holly. Got any thoughts about the match. JADE A lot of people are expecting me to win, but they don't realize what type of competitor Holly is. Its going to be a tough fight. MAYA Tough fight? Fighting past a group of rabid twelve year girls and escaping without bite marks to get Justin Biber's autograph is a tough fight. Trying to convience Alix that just because she paints an S on her chest and wears a cape, does not mean she has to go around beating up every bald guy she runs across because she think he's Lex Luthor is tough fight. Getting mom not to relase the hounds on any guy I bring home is a tough fight. Holly? Piece of cake! Yummy red devil cake to. JADE She is a 3 times woman's champion. MAYA Yeah I'm a three time tennis team champion at school, but you don't see me challenging Serena Williams! Duncan girls never lose at anything. Except yahtzee we suck at that. Other than that Duncan girls always and Jade's going to win big and put Holly in her place! JADE I'll try my best for sure. If I lose- MAYA Which you won't. JADE It won't be for a lack of trying! But, I've learned from the best, Mom and Alix, and that teaching may not have included too much on wrestling and a lot on showtunes, but it did teach me how to kick butt and that's what I'm going to do to Holly at Zero Hour! MAGGIE I'm rooting for you! Peeps, we'll be back after these commercial messages.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We return from break to find Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo stationed inside the ring. WRIGHT Hail, brave fellows, it is I the conquering hero returned to the homeland to revel in gayety! The audience looks at each other puzzled. LORELEI He's saying he's come home a hero so cheer him. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” WRIGHT Yes, good friends, I see that my arrival to my hometown of Washington DC is nothing short of a blessing to a city that is at the mercy of poverty and malaise. I left a mere luckless pauper, but return an unstoppable king. Sadly I see that this no golden empire, but rather a pope defrocked of its holiness. No longer is this the land of noble saints such as George W.Bush and Newt Gringich, now it is an abdomination best unspoken about. The fans don't quite believe their hometown hero is talking about their city. WRIGHT In my morning perusal of the Washington Post I read a story of a local lawyer charged with paying a teenage girl to have intercourse with him! I read another story of an Arlington man killing himself and his mother at John Hopkins in Baltimore. The DC, Maryland, Virgina, area is fraught with tales of violence and subhuman behavoir. Without a proper leader you fall into further debasement! That is why I am here! I shall save you from the oozing filth that pours into this city, and I shall start today, by showing you a God Child's might, as I defeat Slime of The Masked Mutants! Enter, Slime, enter! Wright's speech gets a tepid round of applause. Cue:: A dumpster is oddly wheeled onto the entrance stage. No later than a few seconds after it arrives, the masked Mutant known as Slime pops out of it! Hunched over, the strange grappler walks down the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Trenton, New Jersey, SLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE! Slime hops into the ring and sticks his tongue out at a disgusted Christian Wright. DING DING DING Slime charges across the ring, but is caught with a hip toss from Wright. That doesn't dampen Slime's spirts at all and he springs upright. The God Child tags him with a series of European Uppercuts, but Slime fights back with a trio of forearms. Not wishing to incurr further trashing, Wright snags his foe into a side headlock. BRANNIGAN I don't think Wright did himself any favors with that run down of local crimes. Slime shoves Wright off him and into the ropes. As Wright returns Slime throws him over with an arm drag. Disgusted by being one upped, Wright leaps to his feet to strike at Slime. But Slime downs him with another arm drag. This time he hooks in an arm lock. SLIME fnhceiffhnik! Kwfcbhi! Eueue! COACH The fuck? BRANNIGAN Apparently Slime speaks only in Slimease, a language understood only by one person. His tag team partner Snot. Wright fights to his feet, but the hold is still locked in by the masked grappler. As such The God Child is forced to stomp Slime's black boots. Several of these attacks work their magic, and Slime is forced to release CW. Now free Wright pounds at his foe with European Uppercuts. With Slime dazed, CW bounces off the ropes. But as he nears Slime he's rocked by a leaping side kick from his smaller foe. As soon as Wright hits the canvas, Slime hooks the legs for a pinfall... ONE! Wright easily comes out of the pinfall. He gets to his feet and trades blows with Slime. Wright gets the upper hand on his advesary and whips him into the ropes. Slime comes roaring back with a lariat. But Wright stabs him in the gut with his loafers. He then backs into the ropes, and builds up speed to kick the doubled over Slime in the face. Slime rockets upwards and is nailed with another European Uppercut. He's then thrown over to the canvas with a snap powerslam! Referee Earl Hebner counts the fall... ONE! TWO! Kickout! SLIME dhiw! Aichb! Kihpfcnj! COACH That's just annoying. BRANNIGAN He's certainly quiet the character. And the OAOAST loves characters. Wright picks Slime off the canvas, and whips him into the corner. The God Child follows his foe in to knee him in the gut. Slime is doubled over in pain and is easily put on the canvas with a DDT! As Slime is strewn about the mat, Wright pounds him with brutal stomps. Once done stomping, Wright brings the Trenton native to his feet and latches a front facelock onto him. Wright tightens and chokes on the hold, causing Slime an incredible amount of pain. BRANNIGAN Christian using that front facelock as a submission hold. Thankfully for Slime the ropes are right near him, so he's able to grab onto them for salvation. But that moment of respite is short lived as Wright brings him into the air and drives him downward for a vertical suplex. Another pinfall is made.... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BRANNIGAN Slime is showing me a lot of heart, but he needs to use his speed and quickness to his advantage. Slime is whipped into the corner, but instead of smacking against the posts he leaps onto the second rope. Wright charges after him regardless. This proves to be a major mistake as Slime crashes into him with a cross body block. Hebner drops down to count the pinfall... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! CW takes a moment to catch his breath and then rolls to his feet. There he's pounded by elbows from his strange rival. The blows stagger CW, and allow Slime to dropkick him over the ropes. Wright tumbles backwards and crashes onto the ring apron. COACH I think CW may have underestimated this guy. BRANNIGAN That's what happens when you string together so many wins. You start to think you're unbeatable. Wright stands up and is met with a left cross from Slime. The God Child blocks the strike, and hooks Slime into a front facelock. He then lifts the oddball into the air and dumps him onto the outside mats with a vertical suplex. BRANNIGAN Slime just got dropped with big time impact! That had to do a number on his back. Adding insult to Slime's injury, Lorelei begins kicking him in the ribs. BRANNIGAN There's no need for that! Wright hops off the ring apron, and grabs Slime. He lifts him up and whips him into the steel stairs. Slime hits with so much impact that he knocks the staircases apart. His misery is increased when Wright runs forward and kicks him in the side of the head! Slime howls in anguish, music to Wright's sinister ears. The God Child hauls him off the ring mats and dumps him into the ring. Following Slime inside, Wright attempts a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Slime throws his shoulder off the canvas. BRANNIGAN There's no quit in this young rookie. COACH There sure is a lot of stupid, though. Slime fights his way upright, striking Wright with knife edge chops. The God Child fights back with European Uppercuts that daze Slime. As such Wright is able to bounce of the ropes and attempt to floor Slime with a lariat. But Slime ducks the strike, and Wright continues to run the ropes. As he returns to Slime, the oddball leaps into the air and drops him with a forearm. SLIME wekfch! Owqd! Vfnb! COACH Some of those words don't even have vowels! Slime picks Wright off the canvas and whips him into the corner. He chases after CW, nailing him in the stomach with a shoulder tackle. Wright stumbles away from the corner, and is promptly school boyed into a pinfall... ONE! TWO! Wright pops out of the pinfall! The God Child comes to his feet and finds himself under fire from spirited punches by the Slimeball. Slime makes some strange clicking sounds, before he nails Wright with a dropkick that sends him hurtling back into the corner. SLIME dhddh! Dhdhddh! Lslssk! COACH Seriously, how you gonna say a word without any vowels? Slime runs in on CW...AND GETS NAILED WITH A WRIGHT OFF (sky high)! Hebner drops to his knees to count the pinfall... ONE! TWO! Somehow Slime is able to thrust his shoulder off the canvas. BRANNIGAN This is a real gritty performance we're seeing from this young rookie. Wright pulls Slime to his feet, and attempts to throw him to the canvas with a powerbomb! But Slime reverses it into a hurricanrana! Hebner counts the resulting pinfall... ONE! TWO! Wright rolls out the pinfall! BRANNIGAN Almost a three! Both competitors crawl to their feet. Its Wright who draws first blood with a knee to his opponent's midsection. He snatches him inside a front facelock, and then slams into the canvas with a gordbuster. BRANNIGAN Stockmarket Crash! CLASSIC Christian Wright! COACH This one is over, Tony. Wright hopes Coach is correct as he attempts a pinfall... ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall...CHRISTIAAAN WRRIIIIIIGHTTTTTT! Another mild round of applause greets the DC native's victory. Wright basks in the rather tame glory, as Lorelei applauds his victory from the outside. BRANNIGAN Another day another victory for the undefeated Christian Wright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We are BACK~! with more HeldDOWN~!, and return to see our co-hosts enjoying the night at Sofa Central. TONY Tony "The Body" here, alongside DA COACH~!, and right now we're going to take you away from the ring and "behind the scenes", so to speak. OAOAST's own roving reporter Josh Matthews was given a personal invitation by none other than Anglesault to visit his luxurious Manhattan condo, and Anglesault promised to answer any questions Josh may have for him. COACH How come I didn't get that gig, man? That J. Math has been sucking... TONY COACH! COACH ...UP for too long! C'mon, Body, you know I should be the guy getting to the bottom of what's going on! TONY Last week it was revealed that Anglesault is back in power, and that Zack Malibu has been phased into the business end of the company to attempt to ease the tensions between the two. With the legal battles over, Anglesault has returned in full force, leading the charge of three men who state that Zack Malibu and everything he's done for the OAOAST actually held them back. Bohemoth, Todd Cortez, and a newcomer revealed to be Anglesault's own nephew, Jason Silver, certainly have chips on their shoulders and a lot of frustration to be released. From our World Champion right on down to road agent Rick Martel last week, they have stated they will eliminate anyone and everyone who doesn't agree with their vision. It's a pretty bold mission statement, and one that has everyone talking. We go now to New York, as Josh Matthews takes us behind closed doors! (We cut to the inside of an elevator, as Josh Matthews is fixing his tie and collar.) JOSH Is that on? CAMERA GUY Yeah, I've got to make sure it's in focus. JOSH Don't film now, film when we...oh, forget it. Hello fans, I'm Josh Matthews, coming to you live from an address that I can't give out on the air! We're inside Casa De Anglesault tonight, and hopefully we can shed some more light on the mayhem that the company namesake has caused these past few weeks. The elevator chims, and the door opens. Josh walks down a long hallway, and before he gets there, the door is opened. A familiar voice bellows his name. ANGLESAULT MATTHEWS! How are you? C'mon in! Josh enters the luxury suite, welcomed by a handshake from the OAOAST founder. ANGLESAULT Matthews! Good to see you. I see you've brought a friend along as well. Can I interest you in anything? Food, beer, wine, women...well, you don't like women, do you? MATTHEWS Actually I'm mar... ANGLESAULT Of course you do! I'm just joshin' with you. Get it? Joshin'? Come, right this way. Anglesault is unusually chipper as he leads Josh into the living room area, where Bohemoth, Todd Cortez, Jason Silver, and several buxom beauties are all enjoying food, wine, and each other's company. MATTHEWS Quite the place you have here, Anglesault. ANGLESAULT Thank you, Josh. Thank you. MATTHEWS Now, if you don't mind me asking, sir, I... ANGLESAULT Hold on a second, Josh. You don't get to ask the questions tonight. MATTHEWS I don't follow. ANGLESAULT Sit down, Josh. Relax. At this point Bohemoth gets up and eyes Matthews, intimidating him into sitting. Josh gasps and sits as quickly as possible. ANGLESAULT I did invite you here, Josh. I did promise an interview tonight. However, you're not going to interview me. I'm going to interview YOU. Matthews looks confused, as Anglesault pulls up a chair and sits right in front of him. ANGLESAULT It's a simple process, Josh. I'm going to ask you some questions, and you are to answer them as honestly as you can. It'll be fun. A sort of role reversal for you. MATTHEWS Oooo...kay. ANGLESAULT Good. Now, Josh, do you like your job? MATTHEWS Yes. ANGLESAULT Do you approve of the actions I've taken in recent weeks? MATTHEWS. N...no. No sir. ANGLESAULT Honesty! Very good! I knew I could count on you, Josh. Now, do you consider yourself the friend of Zack Malibu? MATTHEWS Yes. ANGLESAULT Well then, I think we have a conflict of interest here. You see, Josh, you got your job during Zack's reign of terror. You pride yourself on being a lackey for him. Nothing more than a gofer, but you think Zack looks at you as a friend. You've admitted you don't agree with what I've been doing, which I can only take to mean that you don't like your job as much as you've said you do. MATTHEWS Now that's not true, sir. I can balance my professional life with my friends. I know Zack doesn't have any power over the product right now. ANGLESAULT Right now? He'll never have it again! He can crunch numbers and sit in the office and try to hide, but I am going to erase every trace of him from this company. Two weeks ago, we began something new, Josh. The OAOAST entered into it's rebirth. You see, I don't have a family of my own, Josh. I have my nephew here. I have a handful of relatives left, but not a family of my own. No wife, no children, no one to carry on the name. So I had put all of my focus on building my empire, only to have it stolen away by that selfish son of a bitch Zack Malibu. Now, is it fair that he gets to live the dream, Josh? He gets the girl, he gets the child, he gets the money, the adoration and praise, but nothing was ever good enough for Zack. He always wanted more, more, more, and I stood by and did nothing, even supported him while he took from me. He STOLE from me. And now I'm taking it all back. My company belongs in MY hands. So, until Zack Malibu relinquishes complete control back to me, I need him to know something. You said you're his friend, right Josh? MATTHEWS Yes sir. ANGLESAULT Then deliver him this message for me... *SMASH* Josh Matthews falls out of his chair, as Jason Silver smashes a bottle of wine across the back of his head! Anglesault steps out of his chair and starts kicking Josh, then backs away, ordering Bo and Cortez to bring him up to his feet. The camera starts shaking as the cameraman is panicking, but Anglesault orders him to keep filming. Bo and Cortez hold the bleeding Josh up, as Anglesault grabs him by the face. ANGLESAULT You tell Zack Malibu that until he gives me back everything, that no one is safe. Not his friends, not his fans, not his family. Josh Matthews, in an act of defiance, kicks at Anglesault, trying to get free, but Anglesault levels him with a right hand! Josh falls over, but Bohemoth picks him up over his shoulder and runs him into the wall, smashing Josh's body against it before dumping him on the floor! Josh just lay there, but Cortez grabs a fork off the table and goes after Matthews, digging the fork into his forehead and drawing more blood! ANGLESAULT Make him suffer! Make him feel it! Josh screams in agony as Cortez cuts into his skin with the fork. He gets up and backs off, and that's when Silver jumps in, hammering on Josh before getting up and running him headfirst into the wall, causing blood to splatter across the white surface! ANGLESAULT This is all on you, Josh! Looks like you made the wrong choice in friends! Matthews struggles to even crawl, but can't, as he collapses to the floor. Anglesault, Bo, Cortez and Silver all circle him and just stare him down, like pirahnas that smell blood. ANGLESAULT All right boys, I think he got the message. Get him the hell out of here. Bo picks up Josh by the back of his shirt and drags him across the floor, opening the door to the suite and heaving his body into the hall. Anglesault then turns to the cameraman, who can be heard whimpering. ANGLESAULT Did you get all that? I hope so, because I didn't want anybody to miss a single minute of it. You know the old saying that the beatings will continue until morale improves? That's what we have here. This WILL continue until I get what I want. Until the OAOAST is once again MY company, with no traces of the black cloud named Malibu hanging over it. So, let's see how selfish you are, Zack. Are you going to let people continue to get hurt. The people you claim to care about? The people you call friends? Or can you walk away with your head held high, knowing you can save them from certain doom, if you just walk away from the OAOAST and never look back? The OAOAST doesn't need you. It doesn't want you. I have surrounded myself with men who have sacrificed, who have sold their souls in order to break the chains you tied to them. They won't stop until you're gone. I won't let them. I can't let them. The OAOAST has been reborn, and it will be baptized in the blood of everyone you love, Zack. EVERYONE. Anglesault backs off, laughing, and then orders his charges to get rid of the cameraman too. The camera shakes as he's hurried out the door, and the sound of the door slamming is heard, as the camera is placed on the ground and the camera man tends to the bloody Josh Matthews before turning his camera off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Main event time! And with the trumpets of "Parade Of The Charioteers" blasting out through the arena, the triumphant team of the Cucaracha Kingdom stand tall in the ring! King Landon stands in the centre, preening and posing in full royal regalia as the rest of the Kingdom stand in admiration. Aside from Faqu, who doesn't exactly do "admiring". And Daisuke Motozaki, King Landon's Japanese back-up, who stands sternly with arms folded, staring out at the crowd. BUFFER The following contest is your HeldDOWN main event and is a six on six, mixed tag team match, set for one fall! Inroducing, team number one. They are accompanied to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER! The team consisting of, "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQU... RICO DE JANEIRO and LUCIUS SOUL, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... from Osaka, Japan, DAISUKE MOTOZAKI... and, the 2010 OAOAST King Of The Ring, "KING" LANDON MADDIX... together they are the CCUUCCAARRRAAAAACCHHHAAAAAAAA... KKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGGDDOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The King and Queen strike a triumphant pose as Blonde, Rico and Lucius applaud excitedly. COACH Bravo! Bravo! BRANNIGAN The King heading for royal opportunity at Zero Hour, one on one with Krista Isadora Duncan for the World's Heavyweight Title. But the King has been making some enemies along the way towards the number one contendership lately. And tonight, Krista has assembled a team with some scores to settle with the King and his Kingdom. The question is, will the King even make it to Zero Hour, with Krista's lynch mob out to overthrow him? The Kingdom's grand show is brought to a halt as "Mother" by Danzig hits. The King is then greeted by the sight of not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR of his sworn enemies making their way to the ring. And suddenly the mood isn't quite so jovial. BUFFER And now introducing, the opponents! First, from Kavala, Greece. Weighing two hundred and fourty five pounds... this is AALLLLEEEXXXAAANNDDEEEEERRRRR THE BBRRRRUUUUUUUUUTTAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland! Total combined weight, four hundred and eighty eight pounds... DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT... THE LAST KIIIIINNGGSSSS OOFFF SSSSSCCOOOOOTTLLLLAAAAAAAANNDD!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Their tag team partner. From LONDON, ENGLAND! Weighing two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAAATTHHHHAAAAAANNIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The angry, determined and intimidating foursome of foreigners make their way to the ring, which the Kingdom now wants no part of. They regroup on the outside as the LKOS, Black and Alexander are all convinced to wait their turn by the referee.Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend!Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! BUFFER And finally! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! The team of, "THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL", ALIX MMMAAAAARRRRIIIIAAAAA SSSSSPPEEEEEEZZZIIIIIIAAAAAA!!!! And, her tag team partner. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year and the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Together, they are... CCHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSS OOOOVVVEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Not sharing the hatred, grumpiness or European-ness with their team-mates... well, certainly not the last one... Krista and Alix make a much more grandious entrance. Dancers decked in suits of armour try their best to look nimble and elegant as they clank and clunk around. They provide a royal guard for the true Queens of the OAOAST, who enter in Victorian costume. To the relief of the fans, the costumes don't last long, torn aside to reveal skimpy gold and silver attire for the former multi-time Tag Champs. QUEEN ESTHER BRANNIGAN A little homage perhaps to the de-frocking of Queen Esther a couple of weeks ago. The World Champion and her trusty sidekick make their way to the ring, looking pretty out of place with the four seething men inside. Alix tries her best to integrate, while Krista hangs herself over the ropes and gives the TV viewers at home a shimmering gold eyeful. COACH I don't know if "yowza" is a real word, my brain is on auto-pilot right now... but... YOWZA! The King and Queen look unimpressed, although one slightly more disgusted at the flesh on show than the other. Take a wild guess which one. The King rallies his troops as the referee tries to get the match underway and get some of the many competitors to their corners. *DINGDINGDING* Alix starts out for Team Krista, while James Blonde is encouraged by his King before entering the battle. "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" Fired up and eager to impress, Blonde slaps himself across the chest and prepares to lock-up. As they go to lock horns though, Alix ducks underneath and does a cheer. Blonde turns around and tries again, but again grasps at thin air as Alix ducks a second time. And on the third attempt, Alix does an unneccessary forward roll and celebrates her unique victory. "YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!" As Alix dishes out air high-fives to her confused partners, Blonde looks over to his corner, where Landon shakes his head at him in sheer disappointment. COACH Aw man. Landon just looked at JB like a father finding out his only son has decided to join the cheerleader squad. For a homosexuals only football team. Hurt by this, Blonde gives Alix a shove. Alix dusts off her shoulder, unaffected. So Blonde shoves her again. Alix shakes it off and collects the dirt off her shoulder in an imaginary dustpan and tosses it aside, such is the sheer quantity of dirt dusted off her shoulder. Blonde has had enough and psyches himself up for a big forearm, something Alix won't be able to brush off. But something she does block, throwing up her own forearms! Alix then starts to unload with right hands, backing Blonde up against the ropes. Irish whip sends him in for a high flipping dropkick and more despair for the onlooking Kingdom. Jumping back up, Blonde swings and misses with a wild right hand, suffering an atomic drop, which Alix follows up with a spinning sunset flip... 1... 2... No. Blonde catches Alix with a quick boot to the gut and takes her to a corner. He dishes out a couple of chops, then whips Alix across the ring. Alix adjusts and runs up the turnbuckles though, avoiding Blonde with a backflip from the top and landing on her feet! COACH Behind you, James! Confused for a moment, Blonde turns around and runs into a Hurricanrana! 1... 2... No. Back up, Blonde tries for a clothesline, which Alix ducks and tries to turn into a Backslide. The power edge is Blonde's and he blocks, before turning the move over, into a double underhook. Alix turns her way out of that though and catches Blonde with a thrust kick to the midsection. Diving over the back, Alix then pulls Blonde down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No. Blonde rolls through to his feet and tries to turn Alix over with a Boston Crab! But Alix twists herself around in an almost impossible manner, to pull Blonde down with another pinning move! 1... 2... No! Blonde quickly rolls away, into his corner, where he immediately tags out. BRANNIGAN I think Blonde is getting out while the going is... well, not good, but not quite hopeless. Coming in to replace him is Lucius Soul, who gets the jump on Alix and beats away on the back. After a series of clubbing shots, he whips Alix into the ropes and ducks his head for a backdrop. Alix baseball slides through the legs though and with a neat spin, places her feet in Lucius's BUTT, shoving him throat-first across the middle rope. Alix then makes a quick tag to Krista. "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" BRANNIGAN Here comes the World Champion! As Lucius turns around, expecting Alix, he gets Krista, leaping to the top rope and wiping out Soul with a Springboard Crossbody!! 1... 2... No! Krista catches Lucius coming in with a kick to the ribs, then a kick to the lower back. Lucius falls to his knees and Krista takes aim, coming off the ropes with the running knee... which Lucius ducks! But Soul relaxes too soon and gets caught chillin' with a dropkick to the back, sending him lurching into the mat. Krista drags Lucius away from the Kingdom corner, locking eyes with the King in the process. BRANNIGAN Krista with a mischevious look. Who knows what she's thinking when she gets like that. Krista scoops Lucius up and slams him down, in precise position. Turning her back to the Kingdom corner, she gives the King a little wink, before bending over. COACH I think she just winked at him! BRANNIGAN You do mean with her eyes, right? COACH Sure, if you like. A rumbling begins to occur in Krista's pants (not the only one!), aimed directly at the King, who can't help but stare. Queen Esther looks on horrified at the spectacle as Krista shakes herself to the brink of explosion (again, not the only one) and hits the Booty Shaking Moonsault! 1... 2... No! BRANNIGAN Is it me, or does the Queen look a little more appalled than the King does right now? The King composes himself and urges Lucius on, as Krista picks him up by the 'fro. Lucius manages to escape with a knee though and makes the tag to Faqu. BRANNIGAN Uh oh. COACH Yeah~! The Samoan Wrecking Ball steps in and beats his chest intently. Leaning over the ropes, King Landon gives Faqu the instructions. Instructions which don't look good for Krista. But as the World Champion starts to ready herself, Alexander The Brutal extends his hand and offers the tag. KRISTA You know what, I'm not sure we've ever met, but I'm going to go ahead and trust you on this one handsome stranger. Tag is made and Alexander comes in with no signs of fear over facing the big Samoan. BRANNIGAN This newcomer, eager to make an impact here in the OAOAST. And obviously not one to back down from a challenge. The man who ended Christian Wright's unbeaten streak... COACH Woah woah, no he didn't. He got disqualified for an illegal move. And rightly so! BRANNIGAN He beat Christian Wright, let's be honest here. COACH If by honest, you mean not tell the truth, then yes, let's be honest. Alexander and Faqu square up, the wild-eyed Samoan seemingly excited about this man stepping up to test him. He beats his chest, daring Alexander to take him on. ATB does, coming off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Staying on his feet, Faqu screams at Alexander, presumably to try again. Alexander does and rocks Faqu back a step this time. Not wanting to take a third shot, Faqu aims a clothesline at the Greek warrior. Alexander ducks underneath and catches Faqu in the gut with a side kick. Coming off the ropes again, Alexander then leaves his feet and with a flying shoulderblock, knocks Faqu down!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As Faqu starts to roll away Alexander dives right on him, looking for the Crossface! BRANNIGAN Look at this! Alexander just leapt right onto the back of the monster and is trying for a submission! Alexander can't keep Faqu down though and the Samoan escapes. Reaching over the ropes, Rico tags himself in and catches Alexander by surprise with a boot to the back of the head. BRANNIGAN Man, Faqu was in trouble there for a second. Putting the boots in, Rico stomps Alexander repeatedly before wandering over to the opposition corner. Some lewd moustache strokes are aimed at his old rivals Krista and Alix, who don't seem too concerned. Probably because behind Rico, Alexander has gotten to his feet. The Greek waits until Rico turns back around, then snatches him by the throat, causing Rico to beg for his life! Dropping the throat, Alexander hooks Rico up and hits a Belly To Belly Suplex. COACH Damn! This guy is... is... what's the word? BRANNIGAN Brutal? COACH Yeah, that'll do. Nice work, Tony. You're already better than Cole ever was. BRANNIGAN Uhm, Coach... ah, what the hell, I'll take it. Tag is made to Scottish Scott, which is no improvement for Rico. Thundering off the ropes Scott plows through Rico with a shoulder block and covers... 1... 2... No. Scott scoops up Rico and hits a slam, then tags in Danny Boy. Showing all's fair in his world, Scott then scoops up Danny and slams him too. Only problem for Rico being, it's his chest used as a landing pad. Danny hooks a leg... 1... 2... No. As Danny picks Rico back up, the Brazilian hits a knee to escape and makes it over to tag the King. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COACH Hurray! It's the King! Landon unloads with some forearms to soften Danny up, then hits the ropes. Danny Boy gets a foot up to block, but King Landon blocks that, throwing down the foot and kicking Danny in the chest. And again. The King pantomimes a little bow, then turns and hits the ropes again, only for Danny to cut him off with a lunging back elbow! Shaken up, the King walks right into a bodyslam. And then gets hit with a clothesline. With Landon dazed, Danny then looks over and sees Nathaniel Black, arm out-stretched, BEGGING to be tagged. Which he is... "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" ...but not in time to catch the King, who scrambles over and makes the tag out to save himself. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BRANNIGAN King Landon wanting no part of Nathaniel Black. And in comes the man responsible for Landon's win over Black at AngleSlam, the Japanese back-up, Daisuke Motozaki. Motozaki watches as Landon seeks comfort on the outside, then steps into the ring. Willing to take this as a fair second prize, Black squares up with Motozaki and the two men go forehead to forehead in the centre of the ring. BRANNIGAN Here we go. These two meet at Zero Hour one on one, but we're getting a preview right here tonight. COACH And we might get an AngleSlam repeat too, if Black ain't careful. Staring eye to eye, Black suddenly breaks off from Motozaki and delivers a big elbow smash! Motozaki fires right back! And so does Black! Back and forth they go, trading heavy-duty forearms, as the other ten competitors in the match look on, riding every blow. Neither man looks like backing down and the forearms just keep coming! Eventually, Motozaki connects with one good shot and rocks Black backwards. Using the momentum, Black comes back off the ropes with a clothesline. Motozaki absorbs it though and comes right back with a standing clothesline, knocking Black down! But Black gets right back up and clotheslines Motozaki to the mat! Right back up as well, Motozaki goes nose to nose with Black one more time... ...at which point, the Kingdom jump into the ring, bringing in the rest of Black's team for a pier six (on six) melée!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" BRANNIGAN It's breakin' loose in New Jersey!! All twelve of the competitors go at it in the ring, with the referee barely keeping out of harm's way, let alone doing anything to gain control. James Blonde is sent outside and dove on by Alix as the fight threatens to spill out all around the arena. BRANNIGAN We need to gain some control here! We'll be right back and hopefully, this chaos will have calmed down! COACH What are you talking about, this is great!*COMMERCIAL BREAK* After the commercials, order has been restored, with Alix and Rico in the ring. Alix is in the middle of dishing out a series of right hands, then turns to hit the ropes, but gets grabbed in a waistlock by the Brazilian! Blocking the suplex, Alix does a sultry slither and somehow slips her way right through Rico's fingers. Stunned, Rico gets rolled forward onto his shoulders... 1... 2... No! BRANNIGAN We are back and as you can see, our six on six main event continues, thankfully without a six on six actually going on in the ring. COACH Yeah, you missed all the cool stuff! Shoulda bought a ticket. It was awesome. Rico stops Alix in her tracks with a boot to the gut and slows things down to more of his pace. A clubbing blow to the back rocks Alix. As does a second one. Rico then whips Alix to the ropes and ducks his head for a back bodydrop. Vaulting over him, Alix evades Rico and tags in Danny Boy! Danny comes in firing with big rights, before whipping Rico to the ropes. Making the same mistake though, Danny pays, ducking his head early and suffering a kick to the chest. Pleased with himself, Rico strokes at his porn 'stache, then goes for a clothesline. But Danny catches the arm and turns it into a swinging neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... No! Grabbing hold of Rico's mop of hair Danny dishes out a headbutt, dazing the Brazilian. BRANNIGAN Rico's legs look wobbly. That one rocked him. Danny then goes to hit the ropes... and gets a knee in the back from James Blonde!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Danny stumbles off the ropes and right into a clothesline from Rico, who quickly makes the tag to Lucius. BRANNIGAN With so many bodies on the apron, something like that was bound to happen. No way the referee can keep an eye on all ten people on the outside at once. For once, there's a proud look on the King's face as he approves of Blonde's contribution to changing the tide of the match. Lucius stomps away at Danny Boy, then stops to do a little strut. KRISTA You look like an anorexic Tina Turner trying to walk barefoot through glass. ALIX Yeah. I thought you people were supposed to have rhythm! LUCIUS Hooollld up! "You people"? ALIX Yeah, you people. You got a problem with that? Either the stereotypes just weren't true, or you ain't who you say you be. Annoyed at these aspersions being cast on him, Lucius drops down and chokes Danny Boy. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Break by Lucius, who gives Alix a foul look. ALIX What's he so mad about? He is from New Orleans, isn't he? KRISTA Yeah. He's also black. You should totally tease him about that as well. Picking Danny back up, Lucius tosses the Scot to the wolves and decides to take issue with the opposition team. With Lucius luring in Scottish Scott and Nathaniel Black, keeping the referee's hands very full, the five Kingdom team-mates in the corner take their chance to pound away on Danny Boy! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" BRANNIGAN Come on ref, turn around! COACH You're as bad as Cole. Always ordering these refs around, like you even know what it's like to be inside that ring... BRANNIGAN .... COACH ...wait... uhm, nevermind. Danny is let out of the enemy corner, just in time for the referee to turn around and see Lucius delivering a Bicycle Kick. Cover by Lucius... 1... 2... Kickout! Delivering a jumping stomp to the face, Lucius reaches out and tags in Blonde, keeping Danny pinned down. Blonde comes in and drops an elbow. Blonde then immediately tags in the King and cheerleads him into the ring. BRANNIGAN Huh? Why tag? COACH Why? James knows King Landon can do a better job than he can, so is graciously stepping aside. A fine show of respect to a fine, fine man! King Landon stomps away, cheered on by Blonde. The King then orders Danny Boy up. Happy to take care of that, Blonde picks the Scotsman back up and holds him in place for Landon, who delivers a beautiful Dropsault! Cue applause from Rico, Lucius, Esther and most of all, Blonde. BRANNIGAN Jeez, give me a break with the hero worship here. Looking equally sickened by this, Krista watches on as her number one contender parades around the ring. Making a grand spectacle of himself King Landon stops to stomp Danny in the head, then parades some more. And the applause from his loyal followers is quickly drowned out by the boos of the crowd. Luckily, King Landon has selective hearing. Cheered on by his team, the King helps Danny to his feet and whips him to the ropes. Going up for a leapfrog though, the King gets caught! KING LANDON COACH Uh oh! Waving his hands around in a panic, King Landon is carried around the ring, before being DRIVEN into the mat with a spinebuster takedown! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" BRANNIGAN The King got a little cocky and now, the Kingdom are lining up to try and bail him out. Hands stretch out for a tag on both sides, looking more desperate on the Kingdom side. Grimacing from the slam, the King slowly rolls over and makes the tag to Blonde, happy to come back in now and be the King's saviour. Unfortunately, instead of Danny, he ends up saving Landon from Nathaniel Black. BRANNIGAN Tags on both sides... and I don't think Blonde is happy to see his old friend on the other! Black ignores Blonde's attempt to beg off and mows him down with a clothesline! And another one! Turning his attentions to the corner Black quickly runs Rico and Lucius off the apron, then blasts Motozaki with a forearm! Black wheels away from the corner and into a boot from Blonde... which he catches, using the foot to pull Blonde into another clothesline! BRANNIGAN Nathaniel Black, cleaning house! Rolling away into a neutral corner, Blonde finds no respite. Black comes in with a forearm smash. Then, after a left to the side of the head, the Englishman turns on the BLACK HAMMER and starts to box Blonde's ears with right and left forearms! Head bouncing like a ping-pong ball between Black's fists, eventually Blonde collapses and Black is dragged away by the referee. At which point Faqu tries to charge. But Black sidesteps and Faqu runs right into Alexander The Brutal, who brings him over the top with a hipblock!! COACH Whoa! Sensing the match breaking down, the LKOS decide to leave the apron and go after Rico and Lucius. Meanwhile in the ring Black whips Blonde from corner to corner and follows in with a flying knee! Black then leads Blonde out and hits the Half Nelson Backbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Save by Motozaki! Black and Daisuke begin to go at it again and end up spilling to the floor, but not before Krista manages to tag herself in. The World Champion slaps her legs around Blonde's head (not as pleasant as you'd think) and turns him over, ready for the Push Up Face Crusher. Which she aims at Queen Esther, gazing into her royal eyes and pouting her lips as she uses her strong, powerful thighs to basically smash up poor James Blonde's face. COACH So sexy... and yet, so not cool! Not concerned in the slightest about the re-arranging of facial features this is causing James, Esther is horrified at the lude move being aimed at her. She affixes a cross with her fingers over Krista's face and recoils in disgust. But the worst is yet to come, as Alix decides she wants to join in the fun and decides to piggyback on top of Krista for a few face-smushing push-ups! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH You know what, JB is my boy, but he needs to let his face get pulverised for a few more minutes, for the greater good. He can always get some surgery done later. Queen Esther's horror is ended as King Landon comes into the ring and pulls Alix off of Krista. The push-ups continue and Landon makes no attempt to actually save his Prince. But he does plant Alix with a Complete Shot, face first and go for the win... 1... 2... Kickout! Finally ending her push-ups, Krista notices Landon and spins him around, hitting a slap to the face. The King fires back with a backhanded slap... then realises what he's done. BRANNIGAN Well. Now you made her mad. COACH Crap. Landon tries to apologise, but Krista is having none of it and starts to tear into the King with slap after slap. BRANNIGAN The King is getting bitchslapped! Under the barrage of abuse, the King decides the only way to escape is to... well, escape. And he rolls underneath the bottom rope, cowering for his life. Blonde jumps Krista from behind before she can follow her number one contender out. His irish whip is easily reversed by Krista though, who leapfrogs Blonde, catches him with an inverted atomic drop and then completes the Great California Adventure with a Superkick, sending him rolling out of the ring! BRANNIGAN Just too easy. Krista dusts her hands, not realises what's waiting behind her. And as she turns around, she gets hit with a Thrust Kick, by Faqu!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HAHA! Too easy! BRANNIGAN Man, Krista got caught hard with that kick, from the three hundred, thirty one pounder. She may be out! With Krista out of the way, Faqu turns around to see Alexander The Brutal rolling in. Faqu takes aim with another Thrust Kick... but Alexander brushes it aside and slaps on the Tazmission!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH There's that move again! That ILLEGAL move! Faqu manages to back up before the hold can do too much damage, squashing Alexander back into a corner. But the determined Greek warrior hangs on and re-asserts the hold! Faqu runs him back into the turnbuckles a second time though. And this time Alexander is broken free. The Samoan shakes off the affects and gets a run-up, looking to crush Alexander again with an Avalanche. But Alexander moves out of the way! And he locks the hold on again!! BRANNIGAN Look at the determination, right back to it! COACH Right back to an ILLEGAL HOLD! Finally, Rico and Lucius come in and jump Alexander to save their big Samoan teammate. The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club throw Alexander outside. But as they go after him on the floor, Nathaniel Black comes over to help out. BRANNIGAN We've got brawls on the floor, brawls in the ring. The referee has lost all control here. COACH Tony, Tony. This is a good thing. Lose the road agent hat and enjoy the carnage, brother. In the ring, The Last Kings Of Scotland slide back in and target Faqu. Bringing him up from one knee, then take a hold of the dreadlocked hair and dish out the Mohawk Tomahawk... FAQU BLAAARRRRGGHHHH!~ ...but the headbutts have no affect on Faqu! He grabs them both by the throat... but the Scots boot him in the gut and deliver another Mohawk Tomahawk, then hit a Double Suplex! BRANNIGAN There's some power! Faqu picks himself up in a corner and finds himself caught on the tracks for the FLYING SCOTSMAN, Danny Boy whipping Scottish Scott in for even more force! Taking a few steps back, Scott then clotheslines Faqu up and over the top to the floor, momentum carrying him out as well. Danny Boy looks on, distracted from King Landon, who sneaks in and tries to steal one with a schoolboy... 1... 2... NO! Landon quickly delivers some forearms, then takes aim... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop. But Danny shrugs it off and hits a Headbutt! The King quivers in his royal boots and his eyes roll, about to go down. Seeing his opportunity, Danny Boy calls for the end and elevates Landon up, looking for the Belly To Back Piledriver! Kicking and struggling, Landon is able to counter though. He rolls Danny up for a sunset flip, but rolls him right through to his knees... and connects with a Low Flying Superkick!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH BAM~! Landon lifts the dazed Danny up from his knees and quickly hits the Shell Shock, planting Danny face first! BRANNIGAN The Coronation! 1... 2... KICKOUT! King Landon is aghast and berates the lowly referee for not counting fast enough. BRANNIGAN Only a two count. And the King isn't happy. COACH I don't blame him. How can you expect an official to be fair and competent when he's paid peasant's wages? Looking to finish Danny Boy off for good this time, the King sets him up for a second Coronation. Danny Boy blocks it this time though and spins out of Landon's grasp. Landon aims and misses with a forearm, Danny ducking underneath and coming off the ropes with a big SPEAR to cut the King down! Queen Esther holds her hand to her mouth in shock, as Danny rolls on top of the King and slaps on a Fujiwara Armbar! The Queen throws her glitter in the air in a desperate attempt to save him, but nowhere near anyone's eyes, being on the opposite side of the ring. BRANNIGAN Submission applied! Is the King going to tap out? We'll never know, as long before he's in any danger, Daisuke Motozaki slides in. Coming up behind Danny Boy, he grabs him in a waistlock and rips the Scot right off of Landon, DEADLIFTING him off the mat and dumping him with a German Suplex!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH Daisuke to the rescue! BRANNIGAN Deadlift German Suplex, amazing power! And now, the King wants to apply the finishing touches. Picking himself back up, King Landon picks Danny Boy back up. And already dazed from the suplex, Danny has no answer as the King hoists him up on his shoulders... and with Daisuke standing guard, hits the GO TO SLEEP!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Motozaki continues to stand guard, as King Landon covers Danny Boy... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... the team of FAQU... JAMES BLONDE... LUCIUS SOUL... RICO DE JANEIRO... DAISUKE MOTOZAKI... and KING LANDON MADDIX, THE CUCARACHA KKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGGDDOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COACH And the King picks up the win, with Zero Hour less than two weeks ago! Who can stop this runaway train of momentum? With the win and the winning pin, King Landon and Queen Esther begin their celebrations... but have to cut them short, as Nathaniel Black comes back in and gets into another brawl with Motozaki!! Not hanging around to find out the outcome, the King quickly gets the Queen out to safety and heads for higher ground, while Black and Motozaki slug it out in the ring! BRANNIGAN We're not done here! The match is over, but the fight is not! The Kingdom pile in to try and help out Motozaki, leading to the LKOS and Alexander piling in and even more hell breaking loose. Referee and officials hit the ring to try and quell the battle, as King Landon watches on from the safety of the rampway. He looks mildly concerned, before noticing Krista watching him from ringside. At which point all concern turns to gloating as he celebrates his win and makes it clear he's coming for the World Title next. BRANNIGAN The Kingdom is burning, as King Landon giggles! Zero Hour, the King gets his shot at the OAOAST's crown jewel, plus Motozaki and Black, that's going to be a war... infact, it's already a war! We need to get these two separated! And we need to leave! We'll see you next week on HeldDOWN~!*FADE OUT* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts