Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We're taken to sofa central where Double C awaits to call the action. COLE Welcome folks to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! live from Inglewood, California! I’m Michael Cole joined as always by Da Coach Jonathan Coachman. We're fresh off of Angleslam and we've got a brand new world champion! Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey A mammoth ovation greets California girls Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia. Krista holds up her newly won world title, showcasing it for the cheering audience. She sets the title over her shoulder, hooks arms with Alix and together the two make their merry way down the ramp. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen: your new OAOAST World champion….KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAANNNNNNNN! Krista and Alix are granted microphones as they enter the ring. In the center of the ring is a twin bed. KRISTA I just want everyone to know that I tried to trade this title for Lady Gaga tickets. But was promptly beaten and robbed of said tickets by a group of meth-addled drag queens. So there you go. COACH And this is our new world champion. KRISTA I’d also like a round of applause for my daughter Jade, who won the women’s title while nearly naked and coupled with my booty shaking in the mainevent contributed to the incestual masturbatory fantasies of men and lesbians around the world! “JADE! JADE! JADE!” KRISTA I tried to convince her to let me melt down her title into precious gold nuggets I could use to pelt Terry with but she said no. ALIX Major bummer! KRISTA But damn does it feel good to be a champion! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Better than sitting naked on the washing machine while its on superrinse? KRISTA Just as good and twice as orgasmic. Because you see, masturbating on top of General Electric’s finest products is good and all but nothing beats the fantastic feeling of beating Mister Dick in my own hometown! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Mister Dick and I go way back, he’s threatened to rape me, to beat up my father, kidnap my children, romance my mother, and other stuff I can’t remember due to having had six martinis before I came out here. ALIX And I slipped a little acid in three of them. KRISTA You did what? ALIX Lighten up! It’s the 60’s everyone is doing acid! KRISTA Its 2010, even Jerry Garcia’s ghost isn’t doing acid! I can’t believe you slipped acid into my drink! Fine, fine, whatever. The point is Mister Dick has done a tremendous amount of evil things to me. And I, peaceful Jew that I am, have done nothing but offered him love and compassion in return, god bless his gentle soul, amen. That was until this past Sunday, or Monday, or Tuesday or whenever they got around to posting the show. That’s when I took Mister Dick to the very limit of his being. That’s when I took him to the edge, leaned him over and said “I’m gonna throw you down there, sucka ass sucka” and that’s when I kicked him in his sucka ass, knocked him over the cliff, took his world title and emerged the new world champion! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA God you people are easy to please. Imagine if I said something really cool like beat Alix’s score in basketball in Wii Sports Resort. ALIX That ain’t happening. KRISTA But what is happening is that I will be a fighting champion! Much like Christian Wright’s whore of a mother, I will take on all comers, and just like Mrs.Wright I will beat them off! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” KRISTA Hooray for sexual innuendos hooray! Anyway, I suppose I ought to address my mother. We haven’t had the greatest of relationships. One time I made her an ashtray in art class and she said “So you want me to keep smoking and get cancer?” And obviously the answer was yes, but she didn’t have to ask the question! Regardless, she’s still my mother. And when she went with Mister Dick it hurt. A lot. I thought our family was torn apart, and because we’re too high an income bracket to appear on Dr.Phil I thought we were torn apart for good. But my mother did the right thing by our family at Angleslam and brought unity and love back to the Duncan family. And I just want to say I love you mom! COLE That is so touching. KRISTA I suppose you’re wondering why Alix has joined my celebration. ALIX I get a $5,000 appearance fee for showing up on TV for a minimum of two minutes. KRISTA There you go. I suppose your inquisitive minds, if they’re not doped up on acid like mine currently is, are also wondering why there’s a bed in the middle of the ring. Well, Mister Dick promised to you that if he won our match at Angleslam there would be a threesome between he, my mother and Mister Dick. And if you excuse me I have to vomit at that mental image. Obviously, Dickie, didn’t win, meaning no threesome. And that just didn’t seem right! I mean, you were promised live sex, and in wrestling when something is promised is ALWAYS delivered. amirite, homies? Alix and I have been in kind of a frisky mood since Prop 8 got overturned, and we were thinking why not stick it to the religious right with a little live sex of our own right on Mister Dick’s childhood bed? Huh? How about it? Everyone wins, right? Except Mister Dick, who loses. Again. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Okay! Cue that romantic music! KRISTA ALIX This song gets me so wet! KRISTA I’ve heard of odder fetishes. Break out the baby oil and the Kleenex, because you’re about to see some lesbo loving. Alix rips away her top Hulk Hogan style, unveiling perky breasts encased in a sexy black lace bra. She pushes her breasts together, forming an impossibly deep cleavage that makes Krista giggle with anticipation. Not quite the hulkamaniac Alix is, Krista prefers to slowly raise her top. On display first is tight six-packed stomach, muscles glimmering beneath the arena lights. Then the shirt rises a few more inches and hints of those fabulous funbags. Krista teases the lust filled audience a bit by shimming her shirt from side with a sly smile. A smile is soon put on the audience’s face, as Krista yanks off her shirt. The firm orbs of her tits look so perfectly round, like two large melons that sit on her chest, just aching to be touched. COACH Have I died and gone to heaven? Alix sits down onto the bed, owning a knowing grin. Krista matches her smile, fully aware of what her girlfriend wants to do. She grabs onto the band of Alix’s skirt, causing Alix to let out a moan of delight. Things get even better for Alix, as Krista whisks the skirt down to her ankles. Long tanned legs are left on display by their smiling owner. Krista’s own set of perfect legs dazzle the audience as she steps out of her jeans. COACH Krista should win the world title more often! Krista then straddles Alix, and guides her fingers down to her thin panties. Alix purrs in delight, as the audience roars their hearty approval. The beautiful brunette wastes no time in rocking up and down, furiously riding her thighs against Krista’s fingers. Her body shudders, her hips pump, and her face distorts in passion, as she grinds Krista's probing fingers. ALIX Whee bouncy bouncy bouncy! Krista gives a small moan, as Alix’s hands find their way around the perfect globes of her ass. Fingers knead and massage the firm flesh, bestowing Krista with an immeasurable amount of pleasure. She stifles a groan of ecstasy, brought on by Alix's giving her tush a series of playful spanks. ALIX Hey, did you eat jalapenos? KRISTA What? ALIX Did you eat jalapenos? I smell jalapenos! KRISTA See, this always happens. I'm trying to make love and you come out of left field with some craziness. "Did you eat Oreos, did you remember to let the dog in, oh my god I think I smell smoke, we're all going to die." Just shut up and keep feeling up my ass. The blond bombshell runs her free fingers through Alix's silky chocolate hair while the other hand continues its wonderfully sensual movement inside Alix's thighs. Krista’s huge tits jiggle vigorously from Alix’s unrestrained bouncing and grinding. Alix purrs delightfuly as Krista’s bouncing breasts rub against her own fine hooters. Interrupting the jerking session of millions, we cut backstage to find Mister Dick fuming. He has to be held back by Malaysia and The Heavenly Rockers, as he's keen on destroying the TV set. Krista grabs Alix's head and pushes her face into her chest. Alix gives a long moan of glee as her face is trapped inside the soft flesh of Krista plump boobs. The busty champion begins to eagerly slide her tits up and down Alix's welcoming face. Alix gives an audible moan as she's squeezed and massaged by Krista's big succulent breasts. All the while Krista continues to revel in Alix's groping of her buns of steel. Pulling her head free of Krista, Alix manages to guide her hands towards her lover's chest. The large melons completely fill her palms, overflowing as she squeezes the firm round orb, her fingers sinking into the bra covered flesh. Krista closes her blue eyes and lets out a long pleasured "yessssssss". She reaches up and catches Alix's head pushing it into her breasts once more. ALIX See, people this is what you miss when you watch anime all day like Melody! Krista pulls back and plants a tender kiss on Alix’s cheek. She moves around and kisses her ear, her tongue probing gently, hotly into Alix’s ear. She nibbles on Alix’s earlobe and lines a trail with her tongue behind Alix's ear. ALIX I have to tweet this. OMG jus had orgsm, ttyl. Krista gently shoves Alix back first onto the bed, taking in her girlfriend with appreciative eyes. She then saunters down bellow Alix's chest, as the Latina babe waits in eager anticipation. Krista traces her warm tongue down Alix's sharply defined abdomen, heading down to her thighs as Alix shudders in pleasure. COLE What's coming? ALIX Me! QUEEN ESTHER (OS) Stop it at once! Stop it at once! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Queen Esther walks onto stage, drawing puzzled looks from Alix and Krista. COACH No don’t stop! QUEEN ESTHER I thought my eyes deceived me, I thought the magic mirror in the throne room was lying to me. I even asked my animal friends if what I saw could really be true. I had to see it for myself. So I braved the harsh jungle that lays beyond the throne room- KRISTA Just because half the roster looks, acts, and smells like an ape doesn’t mean the backstage area is a jungle. QUEEN ESTHER With trusty magic wand I fought past fiends, and n’er do wells, to see for myself that you two are indeed engaged in sexual relations. KRISTA Magic Mirrors never lie, unless one tells you you’re good looking. ALIX I’d do her. QUEEN ESTHER Be silent, peasants! Your actions disgrace the kingdom, who’s morality does not call for such lewd displays of public sexuality! My eyes burn from having been witness to this tragedy! We in the kingdom practice an oath of celibacy. (ESTHER BEGINS SINGING) Oooooh celibacy, you are true to me, oh your morality and your dignity are just grand. What’s that? Just grand! That’s a fact! Oooooh celibacy, without you we are empty and nothing but whores. Whores! Whores, yes whores! ALIX And I thought Daughtry sucked KRISTA Is there anyway we can make that Angletron fall on her head. QUEEN ESTHER I shall not allow the virgin eyes of my kingdom to be soiled by your crass behavior! You will put on your clothes immediately, and you will head backstage where Lucius and Rico will escort you to the dungeon for a proper flogging. ALIX Flogging? I’m totally into spanking! KRISTA What dungeon? ALIX I think she means the hot dog cart. I could really go for one right now. KRISTA Look, Queenie, we want to say we’re sorry to you, but you’re so far away its sort of impersonal. Why don’t you mosey on down to the ring and we can give you an honest to god apology. QUEEN ESTHER That’s the least you can do after the abomination I have been unjustly subjected to! Queen Esther holds her head up high as she walks down to the ring, accompanied by jeers from the audience. QUEEN ESTHER My apology, please. KRISTA Sure thing. I’m not sorry we forced you to witness lesbian sex, but I am sorry about this.... KRISTA SHOVES QUEEN ESTHER BACKWARDS AND SHE TOPPLES OVER A BENT OVER ALIX! QUEEN ESTHER GASP! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The queen’s anger is amplified by the fact that the girls start tearing at her gown! She attempts to fight their questing hands off, but fails miserably as her body is laid bare for the world to see. The fans hoot and holler while Esther shrieks over her violated modesty. She lunges for her regal gown only to have Krista yank it away from her. Esther's eyes fill with rage and she hollers out uncontrollably. COLE The queen getting a royal undressing by Chicks Over Dicks! Esther quickly scrambles to the outside, where she runs at top speed up the entrance ramp. Tears fill her eyes as she stumbles backstage. Krista and Alix high five over their humiliation of the snooty queen. A caption that reads “EARLIER TODAY” is superimposed on the upper left hand corner of the screen as we see THE LDC MONEYGANG emerge from a PRIVATE JET along with THEODORE MONEYMAKER, the One & Only World tag team titles draped over their shoulder. COLE There you see them, ladies and gentlemen. COACH Yeah, the team nobody thought had a snowball’s chance in hell of retaining the tag team championship at Angleslam, the LDC Moneygang. COLE And we’ll hear from them next!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Cut to Alf's office, where Reject, Thunderkid, and Sandman9000 chat with their former stablemate. TK You said "if any member of the Deadly Alliance interfered". ALF Yes, that's right. REJECT I can assure you that The Can-Am Assassins are most certainly NOT members of the Deadly Alliance. At this point, Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera enter the office. FELIX Hey there, Mr. President! (looks up) Hey, big Deon! Look at this, we got a Team Canada reunion up in this office! Good times, good times. REJECT Felix, Kenny, how you guys doin'? FELIX Surprisingly upbeat, despite last night's result! REJECT You know, I've been watching you two, and you guys have got a lot of ability. How would you guys like a spot in the Deadly Alliance? PANTERA ...gee, that'd be swell! ALF TK Then it's settled! Welcome to the fold, guys! ALF OK guys, good show. Just keep in mind, when you defend that title in the Chamber of Hell at Zero Hour, there will be no other Deadly Alliance members taking part in the match. SANDMAN What about me? I've won that match twice, you can't turn me out! ALF I just did. FELIX What about us? I feel we deserve another shot at those crooks in the Enterprise, all that interference and such? ALF I'll think about it. Now get out. Alf sits in his seat as the DA departs. “The World is Mine” by David Guetta cues and Theodore Moneymaker leads the tag champs ringside. MONEYMAKER Ladies and gentlemen -- and I use that term very loosely -- THE CHAMPS ARE HERE!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Theodore Moneymaker with a not so subtle jab at the man he defeated at Angleslam. COACH You gotta admit, Cole, it sounds much cooler coming from him than the People‘s Chump. MONEYMAKER Spencer Reiger and CMJ did what all the pundits said was near impossible. They single-handedly defeated not one but TWO of the toughest tag teams the OAOAST has to offer, despite constant outside interference. COLE On their behalf! COACH What? MISTER Warrior was hitting everything that moved. COLE I’m talking about VICE. COACH I don’t remember what happened 15 minutes ago, let alone 4 or 5 days. MONEYMAKER Yet people like you question their competitive spirit by saying the 100 second challenge is nothing more than a scam. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MONEYMAKER, REIGER & CMJ MONEYMAKER Well tonight the LDC Moneygang is going to prove everybody wrong again. Instead of drawing a name at random we’re gonna give the first team that walks down that ramp a tag title shot. CMJ COD, Team Heyross, Can-Am Assassins… We don’t care who it is! REIGER We cut backstage to find LOS CONQUISTADORS laid out. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…”*DUN DUN* “…IS…”*DUN* “…HERE!” COLE Oh, my! MONEYMAKER, REIGER & CMJ :o THA PUERTO RICAN and his brother VICTOR PEREZ rush the ring as Moneymaker screams for the timekeeper to start the clock. * DINGDINGDING * CMJ and Reiger pounce on PR and Victor, who quickly return fire. The LDCMG regain control via underhanded tactics which draw the ire of referee Billy Silverman. Whipped into the ropes PR and Victor leapfrog the LDCMG. REIGER & CMJ PR delivers a BACK CRACKER on Reiger, followed by a Rock-style SPINEBUSTER, while Victor catches CMJ with a spinning forearm! COLE The champs are in trouble! Victor heads to the top as PR positions Reiger for the PR NIGHTMARE. COACH Oh, no! Victor flashes a double peace sign before SOMERSAULTING ONTO CMJ as Reiger is spiked with the JUMPING DDT! COLE Swanton Bomb! Moneymaker hops onto the apron and gets drilled by PR! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" PR and Victor cover the LDCMG. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, unbelievable! The winners in 47 seconds… and NEW tag team champions of the world… "VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER" VICTOR PEREZ and THA PUERTO RICAN!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" “Know Your Role 2000” cues and the new champs celebrate in the crowd. Meanwhile, a humiliated Theodore Moneymaker throws a fit inside the ring. COACH Talk about a miscarriage of justice, Cole. The LDC Moneygang weren’t prepared for those d-bags. COLE It’s not a miscarriage of justice, it’s poetic justice. The LDC Moneygang had no intention of facing real competition tonight, and boy did their plan ever backfire. Tha Puerto Rican and Victor Perez are the new tag team champions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage we find Fully clothed world Champion KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN walking the hallways. She's soon approached by…NED BLANCHARD NED Hey. KRISTA Hey. NED Nice show out there. I see you're still that horny little freak you were when we were married. Very nice show. KRISTA Very nice greeting me and forcing me into an awkward conversation I want no part of. NED You know, its pretty damn funny, when you first told me you were getting into wrestling, I thought she'll never make it, she's too pampered and spoiled, she won't last a lick and a day. This business will chew her up, spit her out, and set fire to what's left. But here you are world champion for the third time. KRISTA And here you are still forcing me into awkward conversation. NED When I broke in the business I told myself I'd do whatever to become world champion. Whatever, whenever. I'd whup anybody's ass and show no mercy. I'd fight my best friend if I had to. I'd even fight my ex-wife. KRISTA I see where this is going. NED Good. KRISTA You want to be world champion. Well, I'm here to tell you, Ned, that its not as fun as you think it is. There's thousands of women who throw themselves at you, millions of dollars in bonuses that you have no idea how to spend, huge crowds cheering your every move, its terrible! But if you want it, you got it. I'll give you a title shot tonight. NED That's my girl. COLE Wow. How about that, Coach? World Title on the line tonight, ex husband and wife going at it! COACH Nepotism at it's most blatant. COLE I don't think you quite understand what that means. In any event, a huge main event signed tonight... Suddenly, the trumpeting sounds of "Parade Of The Charioteers" play through the arena. Decked out in his royal regalia, King Landon Maddix leads the way, for the stern faced Japanese associate with him. COACH It's the King! The King is here! COLE And thankfully, more clothed than his Queen was earlier. COACH COLE Anyway, let's take you back to this past Sunday at AngleSlam. King Landon finally going one on one with the man who stood up to his delusions of grandeur, Nathaniel Black. And it looked like Nathaniel had the win sewn up, when suddenly, help arrived for the helpless highness...Eyes bulging, King Landon finds himself taken down to the mat and caught in the Crossface Chickenwing with a matter of seconds! The crowd go wild expecting a tapout, when suddenly, referee Mike Chioda goes down clutching his face as something is thrown at him by Queen Esther!!! COLE What the hell was that!? She just threw some kind of powder at the referee! Megan has seen enough and goes after the Queen, tackling her to the ground and exposing the world to the dreaded frilly knickers as she tussles with Esther on the ground!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Meanwhile, Landon starts to tap out, but the referee is blinded and it does Black no good. Black lets go of the submission hold and distracted by the catfight on the outside, he stays on the mat... ...unaware that behind him, a large, stocky Japanese man has slid into the ring! COLE HEY! HEY!! Before Black knows what's happening, he finds himself grabbed in a waistlock. And with frightening strength, the Japanese man DEADLIFTS him off the mat and into a GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! COLE What a throw, Black just got dropped right on his head! Who is this man!? The unidentified Japanese man looks down at Black, making sure he's dealt with before leaving the ring. As he disappears, King Landon begins to recover and gets back to his feet. Landon quickly attends to the referee and tries to help him up, before turning his attentions to Black. The King watches as Black tries to get back to his feet, but is unable to do so. So the King picks him up and puts him on his shoulders, to deliver the exclamation point with a GTS!!!! COLE Go To Sleep! King Landon puts Black to slumber, but Black was defenceless, this isn't right! Still blinded, the referee crawls over and tries to make out what's in front of him as best possible as he's urged to count by the King... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The burly Japanese intruder stands at the top of the stage with his arms folded and looks on, stoicly, as the King punches his fists in the air in celebration. BUFFER Here is your winner... "KING" LLLAAAANNDDOOOOONN... MMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" As the replay finishes, King Landon has entered the ring with his Japanese friend and stands in the ring, telling referee Charles Robinson to keep an eye on a young wrestler in green tights stood nervously in the corner. KING LANDON First of all... as King of the OAOAST, I would like to make an official proclaimation, in regards to what happened earlier on here tonight. The crowd cheer, annoying the King. KING LANDON Queen Esther and I have already ordered that all video footage be destroyed. And as King of the OAOAST, I pass on a command from my Queen. She demands that everyone in this arena forget what they saw tonight. Pretend that it never happened. And may we never speak of it again. And to anyone at home, any of my subjects watching on television who may have recorded this show, my Queen commands you right now to delete any recordings, wipe any video cassettes and destroy all photographic evidence. Thank you. Changing tact, the King suddenly gets a grin on his face. KING LANDON Now, on to other royal business. Last Sunday, at AngleSlam, was a triumph for the Cucaracha Kingdom! A triumph for nobility over stupidity. You see, Nathaniel Black, there is an old saying. Be careful what you wish for, because the King might just grant it. You wanted to step in the ring with me so badly. You wanted to step into the face of the King and try to slap the crown from my head. And look what happened. You fell to your knees and you were humbled by the King, in front of all of my subjects! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" KING LANDON Weeks ago, I offered the OAOAST's lowly peasants the opportunity to step up and make the King of the OAOAST proud. And I was met with abject failure. I offered my own coin in ransom to be done with you. But now I realise, I was wrong. The OAOAST is filled with jealous men. You see, when a foolish man by the name of Alexander decided to betray the King in shun the offer of riches, I realised I needed to be more careful of who I confided in. So I cast my eyes outside of my Kingdom. I looked beyond my royal boundaries. And I found my man. I went to the mystical place known as the Orient... COLE The Orient? Really? KING LANDON I found a man of strength and a man of honour. A man who would honour his King and be rewarded in kind. This man is Daisuke Motozaki! The Japanese man flexes his pecs. KING LANDON And Daisuke proved himself man enough to collect my ransom and deal with you, Nathaniel Black. This man knows all about you. He was merely a young boy, training in the dojos of HI-YAH, when you were in exile in Japan. I brought you back from Japan. I made you a star. I made you who you are today, by rescuing you from the Far East. And I can do the same for this man. He was there by my side at AngleSlam. And as luck would have it, as my Queen attempted to enact one of her good luck rituals by sprinkling pixie dust, to summon guardian angels to help me escape your crossface chickenwing... she happened to sneeze, something happened with the referee, all very unfortunate... but the point is, you lost and this man Motozaki threw your around like a child! And as long as he is around, you will NEVER get another shot at the King! COLE What a lame excuse. COACH What? You don't realise, it only takes a spec of pixie dust to irritate your nostrils. That's powerful stuff. KING LANDON There are a lot of people who need to fall down and humble themselves at the feet of the King. And now, you shall. Anyone who wrongs me, wrongs the King and wrongs the Cucaracha Kingdom as a whole... you will have this to answer to. Daisuke, show them! Pointing his man into battle, the King steps aside and Motozaki steps forward, ready to compete with the nervous youngster across the ring. COLE And Scott Storm, a local competitor, with the unenviable task here of facing this hired gun from Japan, Daisuke Motozaki. *DINGDINGDING* Storm leaves his corner carefully, watching as Motozaki stands sternly in the centre of the ring. Taking some tentative steps, Storm then goes on the attack... but gets caught by the throat and muscled back into the corner. Motozaki pins Storm back, listening to the referee's count. At four, he breaks and delivers a THUNDEROUS knifedge chop! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow! That may have caved Storm's chest in! Daisuke leads Storm out of the corner by the arm, delivering a knee to the gut and a clubbing blow to the back. The King looks on approvingly, as Motozaki props his young opponent up... and delivers a rolling elbow, to the BACK of the head, seemingly knocking out Storm! COACH BAM! A royal knockout! COLE Storm fell like a sack of potatoes. He may well be unconscious. And look at the smile on the King's face. COACH He's lovin' it! Applauding, King Landon gives his royal seal of approval to Motozaki. The Japanese hired gun then reaches down and hooks on a waistlock on the mat. Setting himself, Motozaki deadlifts Storm right off his stomach, into the air and over with a German Suplex!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And that's the move that this man used, this past Sunday at AngleSlam on Nathaniel Black. Amazing strength to deadlift a human body up and over your head in that manner. COACH No doubt. The King's found himself a winner! Satisfied with what he's seen, the King gives a nod, which seems to be a signal for Daisuke to end the match. Picking Storm up, Motozaki hooks him in a pumphandle. He then lifts Storm up on his shoulders... and drops him with a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!!! COLE WOW! Cover by Motozaki, so academic that King Landon is halfway in the ring before the count... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Big smile on his face, the King pats Motozaki on the back and raises his hand in victory. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... DAISUKE MOTOZAKI!!! The King crowd over his newfound muscle's victory, the very serious Motozaki looking into the cameras with an intense look in his eyes. COLE The Cucaracha Kingdom may well be stronger than ever, with the introduction of this powerhouse, Daisuke Motozaki. But there is still a long, long line of competitors ready and waiting for revenge on the King, I can guarantee you that. COACH Well, pick a number and get ready for a long wait, unless you fancy going through this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage we find former women’s champion Holly drinking a cup of coffee. Her moment of peace is intruded upon by Tony Branningan. TONY Hi, Holly, mind if I ask you a few questions? HOLLY Make it quick. TONY Well, I was wondering what it felt like to lose the OAOAST Women’s Title? Holly has a hearty laugh for several seconds, which surprises Brannigan. Even more surprising to him is her throwing scalding hot coffee onto his shirt! TONY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HOLLY It felt like that, mother(beep)! BACK TO RINGSIDE "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" A sizable pop rises from the stands as the Pussycat Dolls’ When I grow up plays over the sound system. Emerging from the backstage area are sisters Maya Duncan-Blanchard and new OAOAST Women’s Champion Jade Rodez-Duncan. The two Duncan girls slap hands down the asile, before entering the ring where they’re both granted a microphone. “JADE! JADE! JADE!” JADE Thanks everybody. Your support means a lot. MAYA It would mean a lot more if you gave us money. JADE Maya! MAYA They paid to get in, so obviously they don’t mind wasting money. JADE Maya, you make a horrible babyface. MAYA But I’m cute and have dimples, and my mom will beat everyone of you up if you don’t chant my name right now. “MAYA! MAYA! MAYA!” MAYA Puurrrrrrrffeeeeeeccccct. JADE As I was saying your support means a lot. I don’t think I could have won the ejaculation chamber without you. MAYA Half these people weren’t even there, so you probably could have. JADE Grrrrrrrrr. As I was saying. It was a tough battle, and I had to face a lot of adversity. MAYA Flashing Alix was akin to being the first black person to enter a segregated school. JADE Grrrrrrrr. It took a lot of courage to participate in that match. MAYA Especially when wearing that bikini showed off all your cellulite. JADE Grrrrrrrrrr. I fought valiantly. MAYA You beat a girl who’s like 4’1 and eighty pounds. JADE But I did it all for you! MAYA And the sweet win bonus! JADE I’m going to be the greatest women’s champion you’ve ever seen! LOGAN (OS) Hey! COLE What does he want? Earning himself a negative reception, Logan Mann walks onto the entrance stage. LOGAN Real tak, true story, we seem to have a problem. MAYA They ran out of those awesome deli trays backstage? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! LOGAN No, there are plenty of those, just had a roast beef sandwhich myself, it was pretty good. The problem is that you, Jade Rodez-Duncan, are claiming to be the greatest women’s champion of all time. JADE I said I’m going to be. LOGAN How the hell are you gonna do that when the record books still have Holly down as a three time women’s champion? Everyone with any damn sense knows that Holly’s the greatest women’s champion of all time and you’re not going to do anything to change that! Holly is a god in the women’s division and you need to thank your lucky stars its me your out here dealing with and not her. With that, Holly angrily stomps onto stage. HOLLY Looks like your lucky stars just went nova. MAYA That was a pretty smart reference, actually. HOLLY Logan, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I don’t need you to fight my battles. I’m going to remain calm and even tempered about this….No (beep) that! I want my (beep) title back you yuk mouth bitch! You’re going to give me two of your (beep) finishers and make me look like a damn moron! You’re going to (beep) eliminate me from a match I was supposed to (beep) win! You’re going to do all that shit to me? And you think you I’m just gonna sit backstage with my head up my (beep) ass humming Katy Perry songs and watching Glee and let you get away with it. (beep) that, (beep) you, and (beep) this rotten crime infested city. I hope you all die in a mass drive by! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MAYA What do you want, firecrotch? HOLLY What I want, bitch, is my (beep) women’s title wrapped snugly around my (beep) waist and for you two to rest in piss! OAOAST President Alfdogg walks onto stage to a huge pop from the audience. ALFDOGG Before things get out of hand, maybe I can settle this. Jade, first let me say congrats on your title win. JADE Thank you! ALFDOGG And, Holly, I’m sorry about your loss. HOLLY (beep) you. ALFDOGG Holly, I understand you’re upset. You do have the rights to a rematch at Zero Hour if you so chose. Do you want to exercise that clause? HOLLY (beep) yes! ALFDOGG Then its settled. It will be Jade Rodez-Duncan against Holly for the OAOAST Women’s Title at Zero Hour! Jade and Holly stare daggers at each other from their respective locations.COMMERCIALhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-ThPN8ZY4I As the song plays, we get a fly-by shot of a California beach, followed by a shot of seagulls flying through the sky. The camera then pans down to the sandy beach, where Vinny Valentine works on his tan. Mariano sits next to him on the sand (no homo), as the rest of the BB's tug down coolers. MARIANO I said this befo', man...sometimes it's an advantage to not make the card! VINNY I hear you, bro! Just think, Krista's gotta get ready to "defend her title", while we crash in the California sun. Waldo drops a cooler next to Mariano. MARIANO Watch it, foo'! Some of dem got liquor in 'em! WALDO Man, I'm glad I got my iTouch with me! I was goin' crazy listenin to dat radio on the way! "Beach Boys"? "The Byrds"? Fuck all dat west coast bullshit, can't we get some Jay-Z on there or somethin'? Suddenly, Tony Tourettes comes bounding down the modest sandy hill, wearing an inner tube and carrying an inflatable raft. Vinny suddenly removes his sunglasses. VINNY Hey guys, watch this! Vinny pushes play on his portable tape player, and the chorus to the Bee Gees' You Should be Dancing plays, prompting Tony to put his hand on his hip and dance around in a circle while waving his finger in the air, much to the amusement of the BB's and Deadbeat Dave. TONY THIS IS MY SHIT! VINNY Hey, go see how the water is! Vinny stops the music, and the camera cuts to a far shot of Tony running towards the water, tripping and falling on his way there as laughter breaks out. LUTHER Dat's the future champion of da X-Games right there! Tony gets to his feet and continues his run. TONY SURF'S UP, BITCHES! Tony positions his raft under him and leaps into the shallow water. QUINCY So what's up wit' Revis, yo, he ever gonna sign? WALDO I don't know, maaaan. I heard he could hold out da whole year! I had high hopes for this year too, yo. MARIANO Yeah nigga, you high if you had hopes dey was gonna be a threat! MARIANO/LUTHER/QUINCY WALDO VINNY Hey, where'd Dave go? The camera cuts a few feet down the beach, to find two bikini-clad women burying Dave up to his head in the sand. VINNY Hey, it's not often someone gets buried by two lesbians on OAOAST TV! BB'S ... TONY HEY FAGGOT, YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO DEL TACO TONIGHT! WALDO Aw, word, let's go! With that, Vinny, Tony and the BB's head to their vehicles. DAVE Hey, guys? What about me! It's too late, as the gang is already in their vehicles. DAVE At least bring me something back! Dave tries to power his way out for a second, then sighs, before a wave splashes him in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, creating a dark mood over the arena. Boos ring out as Leon Rodez emerges through the entrance way, with Morgan Nerdly and Money In The Bank briefcase both well in hand. And looking as bitter and miserable as ever. Maybe more-so. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon looks down at the briefcase in his hands, then up to the skies as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static."I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is set for one fall! Introducing first... being accompanied to the ring by MORGAN NERDLY! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... he weighs two hundred and eighteen pounds. The holder of the Money In The Bank briefcase... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" BUFFER And, in the ring. From Chicago, Illinois... weighing two hundred, twenty five pounds. He is one half of the LOVE DOCTORS... DR. MMMAAAAAAXXXXXXX... AAAAAAAANNDDEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Dr. Max salutes the fans, while Leon enters the ring. Handing his briefcase over to Morgan, Leon keeps a scowl fixed on Dr. Max as he points Morgan over to her corner and tells her where to stand. Much like an obedient puppy dog, Morgan does as she's told and stays on command. COLE Certainly, AngleSlam not the night Leon Rodez was hoping for. He hung over the OAOAST World Title match like a dark cloud and at one point, it seemed for all the world that Leon was going to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase. But the opportunity disappeared and it wasn't Leon's night. COACH Yeah, thanks to that do-gooder, Tim Cash. COLE Who was merely trying to make sure we got a fair finish to the main event. *DINGDINGDING* Leon approaches Max slowly, perhaps lulling him into a false sense of security as he surprises the Doctor with a boot to start things off. Leon clubs away at Anderson, letting out some of his frustrations before wheeling away. COACH I don't envy Dr. Max tonight, having to face Leon. The bitter superstar drives an elbow into the back of Max's head, then throws him face-first into the turnbuckle. After a couple of stomps, Leon goes for an irish whip. Max goes up and over out of the corner, evading Rodez though. And as Leon turns out of the corner, he's caught with an armdrag! Leon gets up and walks into a second armdrag! And then a third from Dr. Max, who hangs on and causes Leon to slap the mat in frustration. COLE Nicely done! Calming himself down, Leon gets back up and escapes the armbar with a knee to the gut. He dishes out a right hand. And a second one. Off the ropes, Leon is forced up and over by an Anderson dropdown. But he recovers, coming off the far ropes with a running kneelift to the stomach!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Anderson doubles over in pain and Leon hooks him with an amateur style pinning cradle... 1... 2... No! Helping Anderson up, Leon attacks the ribs with a couple more MMA knee strikes. With the wind knocked out of him, Anderson is then whipped to the corner and hit with Double Knees to the chest! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rodez steps and glares out at the crowd for a while, before whipping Anderson out again. From across the ring, Leon takes flight with the Superman Spear! Hooking him up, Leon follows up with an Exploder Suplex and goes for a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Sunday wasn't Leon's ideal night. But he has that contract, anytime, anywhere. And as you can see, Leon is a dangerous man and a real threat to be kept in the back of the mind of whomever the World Champion may be. As Max tries to get up, Leon forces him against the ropes and chokes him across the middle rope. He backs away, which would be a precursor to a dance once upon a time. But now, Leon chooses to kick the middle rope instead! Dr. Max grabs his throat, getting caught in the gut with a rolling sobat, then falling prey to the Soul Destroyer! Cover again... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking frustrated, Rodez shakes his head as he gets up. COLE Leon, not appreciating the heart of Dr. Max. He wants to be one and done here tonight, in and out with a quick win. But Dr. Max is no pushover. COACH No, he's not. But he's still in the wrong place at the wrong time. Leon slowly leads Anderson back up, looking distracted and paying for it as Max fights back. He catches Leon with a shot to the gut. And another one. Before catching him with a big right hand! Anderson sees an opportunity and moves in, but gets caught with a quick boot to the gut. Leon shoos the referee away and sets up, looking for a Brainbuster. But Dr. Max floats over the back and catches Leon with an O'Connor roll! 1... 2... No! COLE Boy, it was almost Leon in the wrong place at the wrong time then! The kickout throws Anderson through the ropes to the apron and Rodez tries to take advantage, grabbing Anderson by the head. As he tries to lead Max back inside though, the good Doctor fights back. He breaks free of the headlock and shoulder blocks Leon through the ropes, before slinging himself over with a sunset flip! But Leon rolls through and looks to hook on the Liontamer!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reaching out, Dr. Max is able to grab the ropes as he's being turned over and the referee very quickly calls for a break, saving Dr. Max and annoying Leon even more. COLE But for some bad positioning, that would have been it right there. Leon, in his frustration, knocks the referee aside. But he walks into a spinning backfist from Max! Caught by surprise, Rodez ends up staggering all the way across the ring. And Dr. Max follows him, with a clothesline up and over the top rope!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" DR MAX COME ON!!! Fired up, Dr. Anderson plays to the crowd as Leon reels on the outside. Stumbling around, Leon finds his way over to Morgan... and in a sudden reaction, he decides to grab her and throw her into the ring! COLE Hey come on, not this again! The referee sees Morgan in the ring and starts to order her outside, freaking the poor girl out... ...when suddenly, who should pull her to safety, but TIM CASH!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Hey! What is this chump doing out here!? COLE Tim Cash, coming to the aid of Morgan Nerdly! Back inside the ring, the distraction has worked for Leon anyway it seems. He runs at Dr. Anderson... but Anderson ducks! Leon turns around and gets caught with the ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER, centre of the ring!! COLE SPINEBUSTER! That's gonna do it! 1... 2... NO!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Aw, only two! That was a whisker away from a HUGE upset for Dr. Max! Tim tries to calm Morgan down on the floor, as in the ring, Dr. Max senses victory. Leon picks himself back up, looking in a daze. Dr. Max performs a quick operation and whips off his elbowpad, coming off the ropes and looking for the big Lariat... but runs into a lung-emptying knee strike from Rodez!! COLE Got caught coming in! A last ditch block from Leon. His good deed done, Tim Cash leaves, Morgan not sure what to make of what just happened as she lays on the arena floor looking surprise. Meanwhile, Leon hooks up Anderson and drives him into the mat with the BRAINBUSTER!! COACH Man, this idiot needs to quit sticking his nose in Leon's business. What is this, hit and run niceness? COLE I don't know. Maybe Tim didn't want to see Morgan in distress, like we saw a few weeks ago. Or maybe he didn't want Leon to cheat his way to a win, like we saw a few weeks ago. But I think that may be academic now. Propping an already out of it Dr. Max up on his knees, Leon takes aim with one final blow... and delivers the ONE HIT KILL to the good Doctor! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... LLLEEEEEEOOOOONN RRRROOOOODDEEEEZZZZZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" In no mood to celebrate his win, Leon snatches his hand away from the referee and hounds him off. Leon paces around the ring, fuming over what happened, with Morgan looking up at him apologetically and insisting she didn't know what occurred. COLE Boy, Leon does not look happy. He came out with the win, but not the way he was planning on doing so. He had to work for it. And he almost slipped up doing it. COACH Yeah, thanks to Tim Cash. Again. I think Tim Cash needs to learn when to leave well enough alone. Rolling out of the ring, Leon glances over at Morgan with a scowl on his face... and gives her the cold shoulder, as he leaves with his briefcase! Morgan, beginning to tear up, scuttles after him trying to apologise, but it's clear Leon doesn't want to hear it. COACH You happy now? Mr Nicey Nice comes out here and he causes trouble for Leon, again and you're gonna defend it? COLE Well I don't know what Tim's motivation was for this... but I'm sure his heart was in the right place. Because it always is. Leon continues to march away from Morgan as we fade out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Back from the break and Leon Rodez is still marching, through the backstage area. Morgan tries to keep up, clearly in some distress, but helped by the fact that Leon is slowed down by an interception by Josh Matthews. MATTHEWS Leon, can we get your comments on what happened out there tonight? Coming to a stop, Leon glares at Josh and backs him down a step, seething under his breath. LEON I don't know... what Tim Cash is trying to prove... but I am sick of it. I do not need help... and I do not need changing. I thought I made it very clear to Tim Cash what happened when he stuck his nose in my business, when I chopped him down and I kicked his head off in front of all these uncaring people he seems so desperate to stand up for. I made my point. Apparantly, he didn't get it. Still seething, Leon takes a few deep breaths, still glaring at Josh. LEON Apparantly, one kick in the teeth just wasn't enough. So maybe... maybe Tim Cash needs more. Maybe Tim Cash needs to feel the same amount of kicks in the teeth that I've recieved from life, to understand. Leon glances back at Morgan, still apologetic. But apparantly forgiven, as Leon grabs her by the hand. LEON Mister sunshine and rainbows. Heh. You want to get involved with me, Tim? You want to get inside my head. Big mistake. Once you're in, I guarantee... you're not going to like the view. You need to learn, Tim. You need to learn not to bother me... you need to learn that the world isn't a nice place... and you need to learn that I'm not a very nice person. So, maybe I have to teach you. And the only way you're going to learn that life is miserable... is if I show you. Leading Morgan off by the hand, Leon storms off and disappears into the distance. From there, we go to the Men's locker room where Maya Duncan-Blanchard is most certainly out of place. Fortunately there's no around besides The Masked Mutants and her father. MAYA You don't have to be world champion. You don't have to fight mom. NED Yes I do. MAYA My therapist says the male quest for material objects is a compensation for decreased sexual ability. Is that what you're saying about yourself, Dad, that you can't perform sexually! NED Hell no that's not what I'm saying! What I'm saying is I want to be the top dog in this industry. I wanna be the guy who's name is on the marquee. MAYA What marquee? No arena has a marquee in 2010. NED The metaphorical marquee, sweetheart. MAYA You can be the champion of other things, like growing out your chest hair and shaving it to look like members of the Backstreet Boys. Or you can construct a castle out of that cheese in a can crap. Fun to build and fun to eat. NED Whatever happens out there, your mother and I will always love you. But, I gotta be world champion. Its my destiny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! A world title match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes. Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER OAOAST Galaxy, ARE… YOU… READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Velvet Revolver’s Slither plays to a loud reaction. Is that a gigantic snakes head on the entrance stage you may ask? HELL YEAH IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE HEAD, AND ITS EYES ARE SPEWING MOTHERFUCKING FIRE! From the mouth of this awesome beast comes Ned Blanchard, attired in orange trunks with a holographic snake on the back, and his video camera wielding pal Molly Nerdly. Ned raises his fist into the air and nods to the cheering crowd before proceeding to the ring. BUFFER Now introducing the challenger, being accompanied by Molly Nerdly, he hails from Orange County, California, he is THE HANDSOME HUSTLER NED BLANCHAAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDDDDD! COLE This is going to be a most interesting match. Former spouses Ned Blanchard and Krista Isadora Duncan set to do battle over the OAOAST world title. COACH Lucky Ned. I’ve got plenty of ex’s I wouldn’t mind smacking the life out of. Upon entering the ring, Ned goes through a stretching routine that’s filmed by Molly.Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey A bevy of scantily clad dancers dressed as punk rock queens work their magic atop an entrance stage that’s filled with multicolored lights. From parted entrance doors, world champion Krista Isadora Duncan makes her appearance to a rousing ovation. She has to fight off a few lusting dancers, but eventually she’s able to strike an alluring pose with her title raised into the air. BUFFER And the champion, making her first title defense! She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, a member of the Hollywood walk of fame, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! Smirking in her trademark cool sort of way, Krista glides down a glitter soaked entrance ramp. All around her fashion photographers snap her picture for immortality. At the base she tosses her head back and offers a sweet smile to the camera. COLE No rest for the weary. Days after defeating Mister Dick in a grueling matchup, Krista puts her title on the line against Ned. These two have a strange and storied history. Krista send tv viewers at home running for the baby oil with her famous upside down rope hanging trick DING DING DING The two Los Angeles natives hook up for a lockup. The simple struggle doesn’t last very long as Krista wheels behind Ned and grabs him into a waistlock. KRISTA My hands are uncomfortably close to your penis. Ned fights against Krista’s bonds and use his strength advantage to power out the hold. He quickly wheels to her front and grabs a kneeling front facelock. KRISTA Is it in bad taste to scream rape? Seeking to rectify her situation, Krista hammers Ned in his ripped stomach with body blows. This eventually allows her to gain her freedom, and she wheels behind a seat Ned to pull him down with a pinfall… ONE! No! Ned tries to roll to his feet, but Krista greets him with a front facelock. But again Ned’s strength wins out, and he breaks free to go behind her for a hammerlock. Ned then goes between her legs and pulls her down for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista pops out the pinfall, staring at referee Charles Robinson as if to ask how dare he almost count her out. Both former lovers get to their feet at the same time with Ned snagging Krista inside a side headlock. Krista fights valiantly against the hold, peppering Ned’s torso with jabs. She succeeds in fighting out the hold and shoves Ned into the ropes. But The Handsome Hustler comes back to shoulder block her to the ground. Ned then takes off to the opposite ropes. But Krista remains grounded and slides at him in an attempt to trip him up. The challenger leaps over the champion’s prone body. Krista gets to her feet and attempts to hiptoss her foe. But Ned reverses the attack and Krista is thrown to the ground. Another cover is made… ONE! TWO! Krista gets a shoulder off the mat. Ned responds by slapping on an arm lock. The pain is quick, spreading through Krista’s limbs. She fights back by using her free arm to slug Ned in the gut. This allows her to work her way to her feet. There she sweeps Ned’s leg out and drops him into the canvas. For good measure she stomps him in the head with her high heels. KRISTA Krista, ain’t about no shit, bitch! Krista ain’t ever been about no shit! Krista picks Ned up and slams a knife edge chop into his chest. The blow puts him on the back track and he finds himself in the corner. This gives Krista the chance to choke him with her high heels. Her shady tactics earn a warning from the referee. KRISTA Iran is all set to sell arms to Hamas and blow this country sky high and you’re complaining about me choking my ex? Priorities, man! Krista grabs onto Ned’s arm for an Irish whip. But, The Handsome Hustler shifts his weight and reverses the attack to send Krista into the corner. He charges in after her, only to find raised heel in his face. Thinking quickly, he catches onto her foot and slings it sideways to drape her leg over second rope. Defenless, Krista is easily victimized by the dropkick Ned slams into her head. COLE A HARD shot by Ned Blanchard. Ned pulls Krista to the center of the ring for a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! No! The Handsome Hustler grabs onto Krista’s halter top and brings her off the canvas, only to throw her back down with a body slam. He then drops a leg across her neck, and quickly goes for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder off the mat, and waves to the audience, just to show she’s still in good health. She isn’t in such a good state for long as Ned brings her upright to strike her down with a karate kick. COLE Watching her dad try and beat up her mom must be tough for Maya. COACH I watched my dad try to beat up my Mom every Sunday and I turned out great! Krista has trouble coming upright, but soon manages to find it within herself to stand. She’s struck with a knife edge chop that doesn’t do much damage thanks to her massive funbags. Realizing that those simple attacks won’t hurt Krista, Ned throws her into the corner. She hits with such force and impact that she’s thrown down to the canvas. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” The Handsome Hustler saunters over to Krista and grabs onto her flowing golden hair. He stuffs her in a front facelock and executes a suplex that’s applauded by Molly Nerdly. A pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! Krista makes a timely kickout. She rolls away from Ned to establish some seriously needed distance. But Ned follows her in rather quickly. Thus Krista grabs onto his waistband and slings him throat first against the ropes. This causes Ned immediate pain as he falls back to the canvas. He rolls out onto the apron to try and regain his strength. KRISTA Remember back in 2000 when I voted for Ralph Nade and you told me I might as well have voted for a Rhino? Well, in response I’d like to say.. Krista begins stomping Ned in the head! The referee backs her away before she can manage to puncture his skull. Ned rises to his feet, and Krista evades the referee in order to shoulder block him in the stomach. She then sunset flips him for a powerbomb attempt. But Ned hangs onto the ropes for dear life, and Krista hasn’t the strength needed to pull him down. As such Ned rips his body away from Krista and kicks her in the face! Ned then flies at her way with a crossbody block that leaves them both laying about the outside area. COLE Both champion and challenger are down! Folks, we’ll be back with more of this exciting mainevent in a moment.COMMERCIAL Returning from break we find Ned has trapped Krista inside a standing reverse chinlock. Krista begins fighting through the hold, banging her fist against the ground. Soon she finds more productive uses for her hands, namely punching Ned in the gut. This allows her to escape his hold, and she immediately tries for a scoop slam. But Ned is too heavy for her to lift, and he counters with a roll up! ONE! TWO! The champion kicksout! COLE What a victory it would be for Ned Blanchard to take home singles gold in his first world title match since he started in the OAOAST in 2004. Ned launches Krista into the turnbuckles, and then quickly follows her path. But Krista counters by back flipping him over the ropes. Ned lands on his orange boots and makes a hurried climb up to the top rope. But Krista leaps onto the third one and strikes him with a springboard enziguri, sending the Cobra tumbling to the mat. Krista then dives on top of him for a cover… ONE! TWO! Ned kicksout, and the audience applaud his toughness. But all the cheers in the world can’t stop Krista from draping him over the ring apron. She exits the ring and then kicks The Handsome Hustler directly in the head. Ned’s body hangs off the ring apron, but he’s soon able to reach a sitting position. In response Krista punts him in the head before leaving the ring. She then slingshots herself back in and dropkicks Ned in the chest. The challenger is thrown off the apron and lands in a crumbled mess on the outside mats. COLE What athleticism by the fitness queen! Think she teaches that in her pilates class? Krista retrieves Ned and throws him back in the ring. Follwing him inside, she’s able to make a cover… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Krista picks Ned off the canvas and gives him a whip into the corner. But Ned comes charging out the corner like a bat out of hell. This is no problem for Krista as she sangs him inside a setup for the Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect). Yet, Ned is able to power out Krista’s hold and rolls her up for a fall… ONE! TWO! Krista pops out the pinfall, to the audience’s delight. COLE These two ex-spouses going at it on HeldDOWN and the atmosphere is electric! Ned sits up to complain to the referee about a slow count. This is a costly error in judgement as Krista runs through him with a John Morrison style knee. Molly recoils in horror over the lethal attack. COACH She stole that move from Spencer Reiger! COLE Its called Blood is the new black when he does it. Krista falls atop Ned for a cover… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! KRISTA Okay, Ned, I’m starting to get a little bored, so why don’t you just stay down so you can go home and watch The Dodgers embarrass themselves and this city yet again. NED I’m actually a Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim fan. KRISTA AWWW FUCK NAW! Hating the Angels, Krista takes her rage out on Ned with mounted punches. COACH Spousal abuse! Spousal abuse! Krista slowly heads to the top rope, making certain to give everyone a peek of her ass as she does so. The foxy mama then stands fully upright. KRISTA I AM A GOLDEN GOD! Even god’s must endure pain and Krista is no exception as Ned crothces her on the top rope. Ned then heads to the top rope and grabs Krista inside a front facelock. He then falls backwards with a superplex! MOLLY Yeah! Alright! COLE Ned Blanchard looking a bit like Baron Windels right there. Both warriors suffer a physical toll and they lay injured on the canvas. With no movement by either, the ref is forced to begin a count… ONE! TWO! THREE! Both competitors make a painful rise off the canvas. Ned strikes Krista’s side with a karate kick. He follows that up with a pair of straight rights. Krista is then sent into the ropes, and when she returns he nails her with a roundhouse kick! Ned then hooks onto Krista’s tanned legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista again finds the will to power out the pinfall! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Frustration is evident in Ned’s eyes as she guides Krista off the canvas. He whips her against the corner posts, then hammers her with a body splash! Krista staggers out the corner and gets drilled by an enziguri! Molly applauds the attack as another pinfall is then made… ONE! TWO! No! Mumbling to himself about his failures, Ned pulls Krista upright. He underhooks her arm in preparation for a suplex. But Miss California runs him all the way across the ring into a corner. With Ned sagged against the ring posts, Krista attacks him with a backflip kick! COACH Whoa~! Krista then jumps onto the top rope, kicks her legs out and executes a beautiful split legged corckscrew moonsault! Molly freaks out on the outside and the referee immediately drops down to the canvas for the count…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAAN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista raises the belt high and celebrates her victory, when all of a sudden she lets out a shriek, as the camera pulls back and shows a young man with long dark hair and a dark beard grab her by the hair. Still holding her by the hair, he causes Krista to drop the title belt and try to pry herself away...but he winds up yanking her off the mat and swinging around, throwing her across the ring by her hair! Immediately, he's tackled by Ned Blanchard, who tries to ground and smother the interloper who has no business in an OAOAST ring. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we're sorry, as this is one of the downfalls of live television, it's that every Tom, Dick, and...what the!? As Ned tries to contain the rail jumper, two more men jump the rail, however they are familiar to OAOAST audiences and draw a response from the crowd. They are TODD CORTEZ and BOHEMOTH, and they slide into the ring and double up on Ned Blanchard! Molly calls for help, but none is forthcoming. COACH I have lost all track of this, Mikey Cole! COLE Bo and Cortez...we haven't seen them in months, and they were certainly not on a friendly basis when we last saw them! Krista, up on her feet, runs over and starts wailing on Bo's back, and the superstar known for his arrogance just stands up and turns his head. He snickers, and then grabs Krista by the throat and throws her against the turnbuckles, whiplashing her head against the top turnbuckle! Bo then turns, and Cortez and their unnamed associate pull Ned to his feet and whip him towards Bo, who catches him and drives him into the mat with a front spinebuster! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the fans cheer as Simon Singleton rushes down the ramp to make the save. He slides into the ring and begins pummeling Bohemoth with punches. But he's soon faced with insurmountable odds as Cortez clubs him away from the big man. Singleton begins trading hands with Cortez, getting a quick advantage. However, Bo pulls him away in order to hit the The Erotic Awakening Of Bohemoth! COLE Good god, Simon Singleton just got planted! Bo then directs traffic, and points both men to the corners, where Cortez and the mystery man start ripping the turnbuckles apart, as Bo heads out to the floor. COLE They're...they're taking the ring apart! Where the hell is security!? Bo walks around ringside, and shoves a camera man down before kicking the ring steps off their base. Staring evilly at Molly, he backs the Nerdly child away. He then looks over at Sofa Central and walks over there...which causes Coach's eyes to widen and him to drop his headset and back away in a hurry! COLE Coach, where are you... *THWUMP* Michael Cole reels, as Bo slaps the earpiece on his headset, and then yanks Cole across the commentary table by his suit jacket, hurling him to the floor! Cole fumbles around in a daze, not sure what's going on, only to get pulled up to his feet and then sent into the ring stairs by Bo! In the ring, the unknown man lays into Ned, hammering on him before letting up. With Ned laying there, the intruder is called by Bo, who pulls Cole to his feet so that his associate can hit a baseball slide into a lariat, laying out the HeldDOWN~! announcer! Back in the ring, Cortez drags Krista to her feet, and positions her for something very familiar, as the fans grow louder...but before he can hit the Riot Act Plus, Ned Blanchard pops up and hits a desperation clothesline out of nowhere for the save! The crowd pops huge for the save, and as Bo and the newcomer rush in, Ned covers up Krista, preventing her from taking any more damage! All three men start putting the boots to Ned and pounding on him, but he aborbs every shot to protect his baby mama! Finally, he gets pulled off Krista, with the newcomer hitting a knee to the stomach and then shoving him towards Cortez, who sets him up for Riot Act Plus! Bo disposes of the World Champion, tossing her out of the ring, and unfortunately for Ned Blanchard he takes another bullet in the form of Cortez's deadly flip piledriver, getting spiked right on his head! Singleton rises to continue the fight, but meets the same unfortunate result as his partner. Ned lay on the mat, and is rolled over onto his stomach by the mystery assailant, and then trapped in a Dragon Clutch, likely doing further damage to his neck! Bo then rips the top rope right off the ringpost and orders the newcomer off Ned...so that he can start whipping Ned with a folded up portion of rope! Molly cries out in horror at the beating her friend is suffering. Cortez heads out to ringside and grabs a chair, and seeing Michael Cole trying to get his senses back, smacks him across the back with the chair! Cortez then throws the chair down, and heads over to Sofa Central and starts knocking the monitors and whatever else is on the table to the floor. Cortez then goes and picks up the chair again, and this time blasts Michael Cole ACROSS THE HEAD with the steel chair! Cole goes limp and just crumples to the floor, a trickle of blood running down his forehead and the bridge of his nose. Meanwhile, Bo and the newcomer rip at the ring apron, tearing in apart like a ring crew gone mad! Bo takes the crumped up portion of apron and pushes it into the ring. Hearing Cortez call his name, Bo then goes over and grabs Michael Cole from him, holding him steady so that he doesn't collapse to the floor. The bloodied announcer is then picked up the big man and held across his chest...then swung outward and DRILLED through the table at Sofa Central! The crowd boos violently, as Cortez pats Bo on the back, while the big man just sneers, looking down at the damage done. Suddenly, the crowd grows vocal in a different way, surprised by the appearance of someone walking down the aisle...ANGLESAULT! The company founder, last seen nearly a year ago, walks down the aisle, as the three men in the ring stop in their tracks. Anglesault climbs into the ring and squares off against the three men, eyeing them all...and then picks up the piece of apron with the OAOAST logo on it. Looking at it, Anglesault then looks over at the three violators...and then pulls out a lighter, setting fire to the OAOAST logo! Bo, Cortez, and the newcomer laugh, and Anglesault drops the apron in the center of the ring, letting the fire grow as he embraces Cortez, Bo, and the unknown intruder! The crowd boos heavily as the cameras scan the carnage...Krista out at ringside-Ned bloodied and broken in the ring-Michael Cole laid out in a heap of debris-Simon wounded-Molly crying on the outside-and lastly the ring-torn apart, a fire in the middle of it...and three men hellbent on destruction, all apparently in the pocket of the company founder.FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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