Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 TV 14 L, VPRESENTED IN OAOASTHD* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.NARRATED BY KEIFER SUTHERLAND (I think that’s how you spell his name) KEIFER SUTHERLAND This is the game. An empty ring in a darkened gym is seen. SUTHERLAND In the blink of an eye one’s legacy for a lifetime is established ThunderKid celebrates with tears in his eyes after winning the Heartland title. SUTHERLAND And in doing so a man’s character is revealed. Leon Rodez attacks an unknown opponent with a steel chair. SUTHERLAND Greatness will be bestowed. Or stripped away. A scene of CMJ being pinned by PRL for the US title. SUTHERLAND The game doesn’t care either way. It is merely the stage. The biggest in all of sports. It simply says to combatants perform for me. J-MAX executes a gorgeous Blaze Out 630. SUTHERLAND Of a roster of warriors, two are in the most important battle of their lives. Krista stalks about the ring, locking eyes with Mister Dick. SUTHERLAND In the end there can indeed be only one. Mister Dick holds up the OAOAST world title, as the audience jeers behind him. SUTHERLAND To survive at this level you must fight with instinct. Krista nails Reject with a KIDology SUTHERLAND Driven by passion, your sheer will to win. Decisions made in a split second will brand you for the rest of your life. Mister Dick stands tall over a defeated Baron Windells. SUTHERLAND Immortality awaits those who prevail, and anguish for those who don’t. The game recognizes brillance but it spares no one, not a soul. And so while some may call it merely wrestling, those who fight on this stage understand it to be so much more.BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! We come into the sold out Staples Center where OAOAST Marks scream and shout their excitement. There are numerous signs held up, many of whom reference hometown girl Krista Isadora Duncan. Very few of them are actually clever. Sitting at Sofa Central, wearing Angleslam football jerseys, are Double C. COLE Hello, folks, and welcome to the Staples Center for OAOAST Angleslam 2010! I am Michael Cole sitting alongside Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman! COACH Mikey, this show is going to be electric, the noise level here is off the charts! COLE These fans excited for a card that features PRL against Theodore Moneymaker, Nate Black against Landon Maddix, Baron Windells Vs Malaysia, and the conclusion to the thrilling series between ThunderKid and Denzel Spencer. But most of all they can’t wait to see their hometown girl Krista Isadora Duncan face Mister Dick for the OAOAST world title. Maggie Nerdly is backstage with more. Maggie? Right on cue we go to the lockeroom where Maggie Nerdly is stationed. MAGGIE Sup, ya’ll! Got a chance to shoot the breeze with Krista earlier today, and that girl is pumped up! She’s psyched to be competing in her hometown, but says she won’t let the pressure get to her. She says she’s dreamed of this moment since Mister Dick cost her the world title at the 300th HeldDOWN here in LA, and she finally has a chance to make good. Josh, watchu got? We go to another section of the lockeroom where Josh Matthews lingers. JOSH Mister Dick is not a happy man. He’s furious that people see at as foregone conclusion that Krista will defeat him. He says- Suddenly Mister Dick storms onto screen. MISTER DICK I can speak for myself, boy. Listen up all you California queers and dyles, I know ya’ll are thinking yer gonna see a heroic triumph by you’re very own Krista Isadora Duncan. Ya’ll think she can bring home championships just like Kobe and The Lakers. I’m here to tell ya, that Krista ain’t The Lakers, she’s The Clippers, Kings, and Dodgers. She sucks, and she ain’t beating me! COLE The champion is fired up! That is going to be some mainevent! Let’s get this show underway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long The video staircase fills with images of Christian Wright’s many triumphs as green and yellow lights shine across the entrance way. While Kanye West’s “Jesus Walks” powers out the speaker, a khaki clad Christian Wright emerges with Lorelei DeCenzo at his side. Wright sucks in the audience’s hatred, then releases it with a thrust of his arms. Green and gold pyro rockets spit into the air. CW and Lorelei hook arms and travel down the entrance stage. BUFFER The following opeing Angleslam contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making his way to the ring from Washington DC, being accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, he weighs 8 1/3 bars of gold, he is THE GOD CHILD CHRISTIAN WRIIIIGGGHHHHHHTTTTTT! Wright and Lorelei discuss strategy in the face of such an awesome opponent. COLE Alexander The Brutal definitely has Christian Wright intimidated. COACH Alexander’s a great actor, because he’s acting like Wright doesn’t faze him. But an undefeated superstar is nothing to play around with. “Disarm” by Smashing Pumpkins plays to a solid reception from the Staples Center audience. A rusted steel cage rises up onto the entrance stage containing the hulking figure of OAOAST newcomer Alexander The Brutal. The cage door spreads open, and Alexander, holding a dirty shield and sword, steps into the world. He solemnly nods to the camera and then makes his way to the ring. COLE A lot on the line here at Angleslam, Christian Wright’s winning streak and Alexander The Brutal’s momentum. DING DING DING Alexander waste no time with staredowns or trashtalk. Instead he begins battering Wright’s skull with overhand punches. Wright puts his up to fend the blows off. However, Alexander grabs onto his wrist and attempts to throw him into the ropes. Wright then leapfrogs into the air, expecting his foe to run beneath him. But Alexander had hooked onto the top rope to prevent his return. Annoyed, CW surges forward with a lariat. Alexander meets his arrival by ducking low and upending him over the ropes! LORELEI COLE The God Child isn’t off to the best of starts here in Los Angeles. COACH Slow and steady wins the race, Mikey. Wright has little time to cope with the massive amount of pain that shreds apart his back, as Alexander is outside the ring picking him off the canvas. Alexander beats Wright into a hasty retreat with powerful punches. CW’s escape effort leads him to the entrance ramp. There his retreat is halted when Alexander clamps down on him with a front facelock. He attempts a vertical suplex much to the crowd’s delight. But CW fends him off with punches to the gut. He then snatches ATB into a vertical suplex of his own! WRIGHT Praise me! “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” the fans chant as CW lays his loafers into Alexander’s back. Wright grabs Alexander by the arm and forces him back into the ring. After following his foe inside, the DC native lifts him up in order to begin tagging him with hard European Uppercuts. Wright then sends Alexander into the ropes. When the Greek returns, Wright overtakes him with a snap powerslam. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall… ONE! Alexander defiantly throws his shoulder off the canvas. He’s then scrapped off the mat and thrown into the corner. Eighteen thousand people watch as CW assails him with more European Uppercuts. Once done with those trademark attacks, Wright wraps his arms around Alexander’s waist and throws him to the ground with a side belly to belly suplex! WRIGHT Salute me as your better! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Los Angeles replies. COLE This east coast raised superstar is not too popular on the west coast. COACH That’s because they don’t value substance out here. Only style. But what they don’t see is that CW is style and substance. As the fans continue to deride him, The God Child makes his way up to the top turnbuckle. But he takes too long in executing his climb, allowing Alexander to recover. ATB then slams into the ropes, crotching CW! The audience pops as The God Child howls in agony. COLE Wright got caught right there. Now its up to Alexander The Brutal to capatalize. COACH The God Child’s in a bad position, Mikey! Alexander climbs up to Wright’s position and traps his arms around his upperbody. From there he bridges backwards and throws Wright across the ring with a belly to belly suplex! COLE Did you see how far he just threw Christian Wright? COACH He nearly threw him out the ring! Alexander heads over to CW to make his first cover of the match… ONE! TWO! But the contest is prolonged as The God Child kicksout. Alexander confronts the eldrly referee about the slow count. Taking his eye off CW proves unwise as The Enterprise member school boys him! ONE! TWO! Its only a nearfall as ATB is able to kickout. He quickly comes to his feet, but is put back down on the ground by a European Uppercut. Wright grabs him off the canvas and fixes him inside a rear waistlock. He fires Alexander backwards with a German suplex. The pin is counted by Buzzlefoxer… ONE! TWO! Alexander makes a last second kickout! This doesn’t dampen Wright’s spirits as The God Child parades around the ring to inform the audience of his greatness. Once he notices Alexander start to stir he cuts short his celebration to snatch him up into a front facelock. He lifts ATB into the air in set up for the StockMarket Crash (gordbuster)! But Alexander trickles out the hold. COLE Alexander with a big escape! COACH Wright could’ve put him away with that move. Coming behind CW, Alexander latches onto him in a rear waistlock. Instantly panicked, CW tries to fight out the hold. His efforts meet in failure and he’s tossed head over heels by a release German suplex! COLE Christian Wright almost got thrown out his khaki pants! Dizzied, Wright stumbles to his feet. He’s captured in a front waistlock by ATB and slammed sideways by a twisting belly to belly suplex! Wright howls in agony, the pain spreading throughout his body. On the outside Lorelei panics, worrying about the health of her stablemate. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE The Staples Center crowd is loving this! Alexander pulls CW up and whips him into the corner. Wright crashes into the turnbuckle posts and lets out a weakened grunt. He’s then struck by a running kick to the chest from his foe. Wright staggers out the corner, feeling as though he were just hit by a fire truck. That feeling continues as Alexander levels him with a lariat to his back. ALEXANDER UP! Wright follows orders and finds himself dropped on his neck courtesy of a t-bone suplex! “BRUTAL! BRUTAL! BRUTAL!” Wright staggers to his feet and is sent flying into the corner by a thrust kick! Alexander then follows that up by charging forward and nailing CW in the chest with a corner lariat! ALEXANDER RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR! Alexander attempts to take Wright down with the crippler crossface. But CW rolls through the hold and quickly scrambles upright. There he’s taken onto Alexander’s shoulders and dumped to the canvas by a muscle buster! ALEXANDER UP! Wright lies motionless on the canvas. ALEXANDER I SAID UP! Wright continues his lack of movement. ALEXANDER UP! Realizing that his foe won’t be following directions any time soon, Alexander grabs onto his slick black hair and pulls him upright. He stuffs him inside a front facelock and drills him with a brainbuster DDT! COLE Christian Wright is being BRUTALIZED! COACH The win streak is coming to an end! This isn’t good! Alexander picks CW up and slaps on a Tazzmission! COLE He’s going to choke him out! Lorelei panics on the outside, and begins yelling at Buzzlefoxer about an illegal choke. Christian doesn’t seem to see much of a point in arguing when he’s about to lose consciousness and taps out! COLE OH MY~! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The Staples Center explodes with delight over having witnessed the demise of Christian Wright’s win streak. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winner….as a result of a disqualification.... CROWD ALEXANDER BUFFER CHRISTIAAAAAANNN WRRRIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT Hardly in the mood to celebrate the continuation of his win streak, Christian Wright lies limp with only a weak smile to acknowledge his victory. COLE It seems Clem listened to Lorelei’s complaints about an illegal choke and dq’ed Alexander. COACH The streak continues! Wright’s situation is not one of ease or comfort, as a seething Alexander stares at him with blood red eyes. ALEXANDER UP! OUT! That’s what Wright is thinking, faced with this enraged man monster. But he can make no escape before Alexander pulls him to his feet. Wright’s screams flood the arena as ATB belly to belly suplexs him over the top rope! The God Child lands in a broken heap in front of a distressed Lorelei. COLE It may not look much like it, but this is another victory for Christian Wright. But what a showing for Alexander The Brutal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We go to the luxury suites where Congressman Joel Duncan aka Krista's dad is sitting with Tony Brannigan TONY BRANNIGAN Helllooooooo woooooooorrllllld! Tony Brannigan, living the good life in the expensive seats with Congressman Joel Duncan. Mister Duncan your eldest daughter is going to compete for the OAOAST world title tonight in both your hometown. How many goosebumps do you have? MR.DUNCAN A lot! I think any father would be nervous in this situation. I think back to all those beauty pageants and soccer games she played and they’re nothing compared to this. TONY What are you most worried about tonight? MR.DUNCAN That she’ll kill him, and I won’t be able to run for reelction because my daughter is a murder. TONY And what about your wife being out there with Mister Dick? MR.DUNCAN Its like a dagger through my heart. Hopefully she comes to her senses and comes back home before the divorce settlement kicks in and she takes 3/4th of my money. TONY And your granddaughter Jade? She’s about to compete for the OAOAST Women’s Title. MR.DUNCAN Oh, I’m sure she’ll win. That girl is the toughest Duncan I’ve ever seen. I’m looking forward to watching her celebrate with that belt. TONY Mr.Duncan, thank you. COACH Krista's famous, her dad is a congressmen, and Maya is like a 17 year old super genius, what kind of genes does that family have and how do I get some? he arena darkens, and a spotlight shines on the tag title belts hanging above the ring. COLE And it's time now for a tables, ladders and chairs match, a match made two weeks ago on Syndicated by OAOAST President Alfdogg! Tag titles on the line!Tom Sawyer hits, and the Can-Am Assassins come through the curtains, to a mixed reaction. BUFFERThe following is a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, for the OAOAST World tag team championship! The winning team will be the one who first climbs atop the ladder and gains possession of the tag team championship belts! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 492 pounds..."AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER, and KEN PANTERA, THE CAN-AM ASSSSSSSASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And the controversy began when these two snuck their way into a match under the guise of the All-American Boys and seemingly defeated the LDC Moneygang for the tag team titles! However, Alfdogg overturned the decision the following week on Syndicated, and made this match! The Can-Ams slide into the ring, as Shine by Collective Soul hits, and Team Heyross gets a huge ovation upon their entrance. BUFFERAt a total combined weight of 485 pounds...CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S!!!!! COLE Three-time former holders of the tag belts, as well as two-time former co-holders of the six-man tag titles, these two are arguably the most decorated tag wrestlers in OAOAST history! They challenged the Can-Ams to a title match after their controversial win of the titles, and Alfdogg made sure they kept that shot here at AngleSlam! Team Heyross climbs into the ring, taking in the fans' adulation, as The World is Mine by David Guetta hits, bringing out the champs. BUFFERAnd representing the Enterprise, at a combined weight of 420 pounds...they are the OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...SPENCER REIGER, COLIN MAGUIRE JR., THE LLLLLL DDDDDD CCCCC MMMMMMMMMMONEYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! The Moneygang arrogantly strides to the ring, but when they get ringside, Spencer is flattened by a plancha from Benjamin! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're getting started already! COACH What a cheap shot that was! CMJ goes to get Benjamin off, but Moss comes out after him and tosses him back inside. There, the two are met by a double-clothesline from Pantera, who then lifts CMJ overhead! COLE And Ken Pantera showing off the power! Pantera tosses CMJ down onto Benjamin and Spencer! COLE And down into the crowd! Strutter climbs in the corner, then climbs onto Pantera's shoulders, and jumps down onto the three men on the floor! COLE And Felix Strutter, from the shoulders of his partner, all the way to the floor! Moss attacks Pantera from behind, as the others recover on the floor. Benjamin eventually slides in, and the two whip Pantera into a corner. They then catch Strutter coming in after them, and duck a double clothesline attempt, catching him with feet to the midsection, then whip him into Pantera. Benjamin follows up with a Stinger splash on both men! COLE Team Heyross taking control of this match in the early going! Moss then takes down Pantera with a clothesline, while LDC brings a ladder into the ring. COACH Here we go, the champs bringing in a ladder! They use the ladder to clothesline Team Heyross, then do the same to the Can-Ams! COLE And the ladder is a big difference maker! Spencer hammers away on Moss in a corner, while CMJ grabs a chair from the outside. He sets it up in the ring, then joins the assault in the corner. Benjamin then charges from the other side, but is met with a double drop-toe-hold onto the chair! COACH Yeah! COLE Quentin Benjamin's face meeting the steel! Spencer is then dragged to the outside by the Can-Ams, and double-teamed as CMJ starts to climb the ladder. Moss grabs his arm and yanks him down, causing him to collide with the buckles. Moss then tries to climb, but CMJ uses the chair as a stepping stone and clotheslines him down! COACH They're going for the belts early in this one! CMJ tries to climb once again, but Benjamin missile dropkicks him off! COLE Nice save there by Quentin! The Can-Ams try to bring another ladder inside, but Team Heyross spots them and baseball slides it back into them! Benjamin rolls inside and grabs the ladder himself, as Spencer tries to climb, but is yanked to the mat by Moss. Team Heyross then set the two ladders up in opposite corners. Moss then executes a gutwrench suplex on Spencer, and he and Benjamin climb the ladders as the crowd comes to its feet. COLE What's Team Heyross going for here? Both men sit on top of the ladder, then rise to their feet. Moss drops an elbow to Spencer, followed by a legdrop from Benjamin! COLE Spencer really taking some big moves here so far! COACH Yeah, but this guy's a champion! He's gonna respond! Team Heyross is then tossed from the ring by the Can-Ams as CMJ rolls back inside. Strutter folds one of the ladders and lays it on the mat as Pantera sets up CMJ for a powerbomb. The Can-Ams then execute the PENALTY BOX~! onto the ladder! COLE Oh my! The Can-Ams with that double-team powerbomb onto the ladder! The Can-Ams then roll outside and each grab a table, as the crowd starts to buzz. Pantera sets his table in the middle of the ring, while Strutter props his up in a corner. Pantera sets up CMJ on the table, while Strutter fights Moss to the outside. Benjamin attacks Pantera from behind, then backs into the ropes and attempts a hurricanrana, which proves to be unwise as Pantera blocks and powerbombs him on top of CMJ, through the table! COACH How about that, Pantera taking out one member of each team! Pantera then goes outside, as he and Strutter begin setting up tables, stacking one table on top of another, then two more next to them the same way. COLE And who knows what the Can-Ams have in mind here! Spencer hammers Strutter from behind, while Moss floors Pantera with a ladder. Moss then shoves the ladder inside, and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He stops to hammer on Spencer for a second, then tosses him outside and climbs. However, he's knocked off by Pantera, carrying another ladder, which he sets up next to it. CMJ then sets up a third ladder, which he climbs, with Strutter climbing the other side. Pantera climbs his ladder, with Benjamin across from him, while Moss and Spencer climb the third. COLE And look at this sight! All six combatants climbing, going after those tag team belts! Three slugfests ensue atop the ladders, until Strutter shoves Moss and Spencer's ladder over, and CMJ does the same to Pantera and Benjamin, the result being all four men hung up on the top rope! Strutter and CMJ join them on the mat, after ramming heads. CMJ recovers first, and starts to climb, and Strutter follows. Suddenly, Black Sweat plays over the arena. COACH Oh, what the fuck. MISTER Warrior runs to the rings, arms outstretched, and he rolls into the ring, shoving the ladder over! MISTER Warrior pounds on his chest, then hits Benjamin with a clothesline! He follows with clotheslines on Spencer, Moss and Pantera, then hops out of the ring, and runs back down the aisle, disappearing through the curtains as his music stops. COLE/COACH Everyone is laid out on the mat as a result of this random assault. Benjamin comes to first, and tries to climb a ladder, but is yanked down by Bosley of the interfering V.I.C.E.! COLE Wait a minute! What are Bosley and CPA doing out here? COACH Maybe they're a surprise entrant! COLE They're about as welcome in this match as "surprise" buttsecks! COACH ... KOBE BRYANT Damn, so much for my run in! COLE/COACH ... CPA folds up the ladder and rams it into Strutter's chest, then floors Pantera with a clothesline! CPA and Bosley then whip Moss back-first through the table that had been set up in the corner! COLE V.I.C.E. interfering on behalf of their cohorts, the LDC Moneygang! CMJ starts to climb the ladder once again, when BROCK AUSSTIN hits the ring! COLE Look at this! Brock Ausstin, long-time cohort of Team Heyross! V.I.C.E. goes after Brock, but get floored with a double clothesline as the crowd explodes! COLE It's Brock to the rescue! Brock yanks CMJ from the ladder, right into his arms for a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! Spencer then tries to climb, but Brock grabs a chair and hits CPA with it, causing CPA to stumble back and inadvertently push the ladder over! Brock then grabs Bosley, and scoops him up, delivering an F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 onto the ladder! COLE Bosley taking the F-STUNNER-5, right onto that ladder! Brock lets out a big roar, as the crowd cheers him on, but is leveled with a chairshot to the head from Pantera! Pantera then scoops up Moss on his shoulders, as Strutter climbs the ropes, and hooks him, drilling him with a DDT from Pantera's shoulders! COLE One of the patented moves of the Can-Am Assassins! CMJ then slides back into the ring, and hits Strutter across the back with a chair, then tosses the chair into the hands of Pantera, as Spencer hits the chair into his face with another chair! Meanwhile, Benjamin sets up a taller ladder on the outside, as Brock has V.I.C.E. laid out across two more tables. COLE Benjamin setting up something big right here! Benjamin climbs the ladder, and gets his balance, then dives off...and as he does, CPA grabs the arm of Brock, pulling him across their bodies, as Benjamin takes out all three men and himself! COLE COACH And just before, Cole, CPA pulled Brock across himself and Bosley, so he took some of the blow, too! CMJ and Spencer go outside and get the big ladder, and set it up in the ring. Spencer starts to climb the ladder, but Moss catches CMJ and tosses him from the ring, then climbs the other side of the ladder. Once they both get to the top, a slugfest ensues, and Moss is ultimately knocked from the ladder. Pantera then ducks down and grabs the ladder on his shoulders. COLE What is Ken Pantera doing? Suddenly, Pantera lifts the ladder onto his shoulders, with CMJ still on top of it, as the crowd gasps in awe! COLE Look at this! The amazing strength of Ken Pantera on display! Pantera then lifts the ladder and drops it forward onto the mat, with CMJ's face bouncing off of it! COLE/COACH Benjamin crawls back inside, and clocks Pantera over the head with a chair, then climbs the big ladder again. However, this time, it's CMJ climbing a second ladder, ramming Benjamin's face into the ladder he's on, then taking him to the mat with the D-STREET CUTTER~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH :o Next it's Moss and Strutter's turn, as they scale the ladder together. As they get to the top, however, Bosley rolls back in the ring, and shoves the ladder over, sending Moss and Strutter over the ropes and through the four stacked-up tables! COLE/COACH :o Pantera comes to, and clotheslines Bosley from the ring, then tries to climb once again. However, CPA grabs one of his legs, and CMJ climbs on his back, as Spencer climbs the other side of the ladder, and grabs the belts! COLE Spencer's got the belts! It's over! COACH They did it! *DING DING DING* BUFFERThe winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...THE LLLLLL DDDDDD CCCCC MMMMMMMMMMONEYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! COACH Give 'em credit, Cole! You didn't think they could win this match, did you? Admit it! COLE You're right, I didn't, and I probably would have been right if not for the interference of V.I.C.E.! COACH Oh come on, don't make excuses! What about Brock Ausstin running out here to help his buddies Team Heyross? COLE Brock was coming to counter the interference of Bosley and CPA! Benjamin had the belts in his grasp before those two came out! Bosley and CPA help the champs up and back to the dressing room, as the others stir in the ring. COLE Bottom line is, though, the LDC Moneygang are still the tag team champions, and they did it in a style of match which frankly more suited their opposition! Whether you like the way they did it or not, they showed a lot of toughness in this match, and they showed why they're champions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage we find Alexander The Brutal walking down the hallways. He’s interrupted by Josh Matthews. JOSH Alexander The Brutal, do you have any comment on your upsetting loss to Christian Wright? ALEXANDER I have his blood on my hands, and his soul in my possession. I may not have won, but I brutalized him. That’s all that matters. At this timeMaya Duncan-Blanchard joins Sofa Central and earns herself quite the pop for showing up. COACH Got dayum, girl, you got that ass that be the bomb! COLE Coach, Krista is going to destroy you. MAYA No Michael. Let him be. Who among us has not paused before their tv set struck dumb and entranced by Coach’s commentary as if some greater force had opened our skulls like a flip-top and stirred with a magical spoon the contents of our minds, leaving our thoughts running from end-to-end like the liquified contents of a saucepan, our conciousness melted down into something else entirely? What unfeeling, oblivious person had not questioned the legitimacy of his very existence in the face of Coach’s tangential brilliance? Which absolute cretin has not felt that perversely pleasurable drunken wooziness that comes from watching Coach redefine non-contiguous as he moves from point A to Point B... while simultaneously taking route 5 to point C... while waving to himself from point W? BUFFER The following contest is an Ejaculation Chamber match for the OAOAST Women’s Title! The rules are as follows, the match will begin with two participants in the ring, and four women locked inside their chamber. Every three minutes a random chamber will open allowing a new participant into the ring. An elimination occurs by pinfall or submission… ::CUE:: Katy Perry- SNOOP DOGGGreetings loved ones Lets take a journey KATY PERRYCalifornia girls We're unforgettable Daisy Dukes Bikinis on top Sun-kissed skin So hot Will melt your popsicle Oooooh Oh Oooooh California girls We're undeniable Fine, fresh, fierce We got it on lock West coast represent Now put your hands up Oooooh Oh Oooooh A fantastic ovation awaits hometown girl, Alix Maria Spezia. The audience rises to their feet, saluting their very own. Alix walks on down to the ring… ALIX BUFFER Introducing the special guest referee….from right here in Los Angeles, California, she is ALIX MARIA SPEZZIAAAAAAAA! The kids in the front row seem to enjoy the fine Latina booty Alix provides them with..... Fallout Boy’s rendition of “Beat It” cues to an appreciative cheer from the audience. A matrix like code runs down the videoscreens until the jumble of letters forms the word PLAYER ONE! Melody enters the green lit stage with a Kung-Fu pose designed to strike fear into the hearts and souls of an entire universe. It doesn't. BUFFER From the fortress of Nerdlytude, MELOOOODDDDDDY NERRRRDDDDDDDLY! A floral print bikini top stretches tightly across breasts that strain for freedom, and a matching g-string shows off a generous amount of her lean lower body. NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH Feel Good Drag comes over Now I’m That Bitch as Holly kicks down a wooden door with fiery intensity. She thrusts her women’s title into the air for all to see, and is met with chilling negativity. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring, from Sin City, Nevada, she is the reigning OAOAST Women’s Champion….HHHHOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLY! The reaction grows decidedly more positive when Holly strips out a leather jacket to a shiny grey bikini with chain accents around the thong bottom.GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There're things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Bolts of electricity tear across every video screen in the venue as a dark blue hue settles over the entrance stage. A gigantic bolt of electricity then pounds the entrance stage, wowing the audience. Through its sparking remains comes Morgan Nerdly, little body attired in a black robe. She looks out timidly at the audience, chewing on her hair. BUFFER And from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, prepare for Shock and Awe from MOOORRRRRGGAAAAANNNN NNNNEEEEEEEERRRRRDDDDDDLLLLLLLY! A huge cheer goes up for Morgan, who makes certain her robe doesn’t fall off and reveal any of her body. COACH What’s this chick's problem? You gotta get in a bikini at some point. You can’t just wrestle in a damn robe. Morgan meekly gets into her pod as Holly levels violent words against her. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" From the backstage area skips Jade Rodez-Duncan, who earns a mammoth hometown cheer. The fans worship her as the towel clad beauty responds by happily waving her hands to them. BUFFER Now residing in Los Angeles, California, she is LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA JAAAAADDDDDDDEEEEEEE ROOOODDDDEZZZZZZZ DUUNNNNCAAAANNNNN! Jade waves to Alix and Maya before situating herself in her pod.Crush Crush Crush CrushCrushCrush TWO THREE FOUR On a stage that’s lit by flashing green and gold lights, towers of smoke come forth. Emerging through the entrance doors, beneath a white bridal viel is The It Girl Maggie Nerdly. A spagetthei thin singshot thong bikini strains against the weight of her breasts, and frames her flawless ass. Maggie flashes the RAWK hand signal to the cheering audience, before heading down the ramp with hand slaps for all. BUFFER And starting out the contest from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada she is the OAOAST very own “IT GIRL” MAAAAAGGGGGIIIIIIEEEEEEEE NNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDLYYYYY! Maggie enters the ring and points to the audience, giving them further rise and causing them to cheer even louder.M O N E YSo sexyDamn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey Lady Gaga's Money Honey rings out over the numerous boos from the arena crowd. Stepping onto the Angleslam set is Lorelei DeCenzo, wearing an extremely skimpy black microkini with silver studs on the chest and the front bottom, she twirls around to show off her impressive body before pointing to the ring. MAYA Is that a bikini or is that just two pieces of a ripped up napkin? Nodding to herself she heads down the entrance ramp with nose firmly stuck in the air to avoid interaction with the audience. BUFFER She comes from Manhattan Beach, California, representing The Enterprise she is ….THE MONEY HONEY LORELEI DECENZOOOOOO! "BOOOOOOOOO!" the fans spit venom at Lorelei, who wags her fingers at them. COLE Lorelei has orders to take down Maggie, and she gets an early opportunity to fufill them. DING DING DING COLE And here we go! ALIX Wait! LORELEI Why should we wait? ALIX I have to put sun screen on! MAGGIE Yeah, but we're indoors. ALIX WHY ARE YOU COPPING AN ATTITUDE? I SAID I HAVE TO PUT SUN SCREEN ON NOT BOMB THE GROUND ZERO MOSQUE! FUCK! WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE LISTEN? With that Alix applies sunscreen all over her body... ALIX Ignoring Alix, Lorelei dashes for Maggie, and connects with a spear! The two scantily clad ladies tumble to the ground, with the buxom Lorelei on top. Their lustrous body intertangle in a steamy coil, writhing against one another. Within seconds Maggie turns the tide and rolls her delectable figure atop Lorelei, her body grinding against Lorelei’s in heated grove. The Money Honey engages in frantic twisting and turning, trying her hardest to buck Maggie off. Reaching down, Maggie slides her hands to the ties of Lorelei’s bikini top. To Lorelei’s horror, Maggie begins happily undoing the strings, threatening to expose her chest to the lusting audience. Desperate to avoid this fate, Lorelei summons her raw strength and uses it to shove Maggie away. COACH We almost saw the goods! MAYA Does your wife approve of you lusting after all these women? COACH I ain’t even nailin’ hos without a rubber, and you want me to wife one? Lorelei charges forward, expecting to attack Maggie with a lariat. But Maggie catches hold of Lorelei and spins her around for a tilt a whirl stomach crusher. With Lorelei stretched helplessly across her knees, a telling smile fills Maggie’s face. MAGGIE to LORELEI “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lorelei yelps in horror as Maggie’s fast moving hand leaves her muscular posterior a shade of deep red. Finally, Maggie shoves Lorelei off, leaving the blond beauty to nurse her tender ass. This involves massaging the hurt flesh, causing it to ripple and shake in splendid beauty. MAGGIE Lemme help you with that… The humliation and agony is unbearable for Lorelei, and it forces her to kick at Maggie’s shins. This backs Maggie away, and Lorelei is able to roll to her feet. Now upright, she’s faced with a charging It Girl, who’s beasts sway gently with her movement. But Lorelei absorbs her attack, by catching her into a front facelock. Lorelei drops to her knees, and forces Maggie’s little body across them… LORELEI Time for some payback…… Lorelei begins eagerly smacking her hand against Maggie's delectable rearend. MAYA That’s just mean! COACH It’s the same thing Maggie did, which is basically rape. MAYA That’s not rape, that’s surprise sex. That’s like being force fed a rainbow. Far from the agonized victim Lorelei was, Maggie enjoys the rough treatment and purrs sinfully for Lorelei’s hands to dance harder across her pleasured ass. This frustrates Lorelei, leading her to shove Maggie to the ground. LORELEI COACH Damn, Lorelei is a straight up 9, which is the highest rating I’ve ever given a woman in my opinion. MAYA Listen to that, viewers. Coach tells you that 9 is the highest ranking he has ever assigned to a female, but then he qualifies that by saying "in my opinion." Which suggests that he might be wrong about his own ranking? That there might be another person... no, a sage... no, a source of foundational light that can come along at any second and say "no, you once gave Molly Nerdly a 9.87." This in itself is a probing meditation on what "is" is, and to whom truth belongs... even personal truth. COACH I like to look at the boobies. The countdown to the next contestant begins…5 4 3 2 1! “BZZZZZZZZZZZT!” The flashing lights settles on…MELODY NERDLY MELODY (bursting through the door like the Kool-Aid man) Ooooooh yeaaaaaaaaah! While Melody inexplicably begins flexing her muscles, Lorelei tosses Maggie onto the food table. She picks up a pie and prepares to smash it into Maggie’s face. But Maggie counters by kicking her foot forward as Lori drives the pie towards her face. The piece is smashed back against Lorelei, exploding across her ample chest, leaving her breasts a tasty mess. ALIX Why don’t I clean that up for you… ALIX Melody spoils everyone’s fun by rolling up Lorelei ONE! TWO Lorelei makes the kickout. She springs to her feet, and levels a lariat at Melody. But Melody ducks the attack! She comes up behind Lorelei and taunts her with a boob shimmy, sending the milky flesh of her mammaries bouncing to and froe. Angered over being taunted, Lorelei lunges for Melody. But Maggie grabs onto her thong and hauls her backwards for a pin! ONE! TWO! Lorelei rolls out, making a much needed escape. MAYA Lorelei better get some hustle going. She's not doing much out there. She's like a boy in middle school playing baseball and everyone hit puberty but he's still got bald armpits and he can't keep up with all the other kids who are starting to grow peach-fuzz mustaches.. but his parents paid his fees and the team is stuck with him ‘cause he's a nice kid and gets along with everyone. The other kids invite him to play street-hockey but only because he owns a net...but he's just not cutting it on the team. Maybe next year...if he hits puberty. MELODY Nerdly powers! Activate! MAGGIE What? MELODY Just get on my back, darn it! Maggie hops on Melody’s back… Maggie to Melody Once that bit of dry humping is over, Maggie flies forward to wipe out Lorelei with a lariat. MELODY AND MAGGIE COACH Damn, forget Wade, Bosh, and Lebron, Maggie and Melody are the real superteam. The super team of fine ass titaaaaaaaayyyysssssss. MAYA I like how you’ve added up to date basketball references without missing a beat of your already well rounded game. Maybe next you’ll add proper grammar to your deadly arsenal. Melody and Maggie grab Lorelei’s long well muscled legs and slingshot her backwards. Lorelei gets hung up on the ropes, struggling for air and searching for an escape. COLE Lorelei has an edict to take out Maggie from Mister Moneymaker, and so far its not working out very well. Maggie entertains the erotic thought of resuming her torture of Lorelei’s ass, but instead decides to merely tip her over into the pool of baby oil! As Lorelei’s perfectly buxom body becomes encased in the oil, Maggie and Melody dip their feet into the pool. Lorelei soon realizes an escape would be the best option and tries to crawl through the ropes. But Melody seizes hold of the back of her bikini top, and drags her backwards. Full rack barely held by the skimpy bikini, Lorelei fights to prevent her breasts from being fully revealed to the world. COLE The only thing this Ejaculation chamber is missing that first one had is a guest appearance by Billy Crystal! MAYA Is he that dumb guy who did those stupid Oscar hosting jobs? COLE No, he’s that awesome guy that did those awesome Oscar hosting jobs, and if he were here right now and I weren’t afraid you’d beat me to a pulp I’d beat you to death with his Tony Award. MAYA Ooooh a Tony Award reference, boy, you’re straight for sure. Maggie’s pink coated breasts rub against Lorelei’s full healthy mounds, as Maggie attempts to bash her foe’s head against the bottom of the pool. But Maggie hasn’t the strength to keep Lorelei down, and The Money Honey angrily shoves Maggie’s thin body off her. Lorelei then leaps to her feet, making sure her breasts don’t spill out their thin cage. Once she’s assured their will be no nipplage on her watch, she laraits Maggie over the ropes and back into the ring. To keep Melody occupied she chucks a rubber ducky at her. This provides serious pleasure for both Melody and the fans… MELODY ALIX (singing) Rubber ducky, you’re the one, you make bath time lots more fun! MAYA (cringing at Alix’s singing) Can I take you up on that offer to stone me to death. The countdown begins anew… FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! The flashing settles on….HOLLY Holly’s arrival is greeted by having a pair of ducks slung at her by Melody! HOLLY What the (beep)? Do I look like Ernie to you? MAYA See, this where the joke coordination needs to be better. Because we already used the sesame street joke, and now Holly’s joke lacks both impact and content. Joke coordination, people, let’s get it together. COLE Didn’t Bert have the rubber ducky? MAYA No, it was Ernie. COLE Pretty sure it was Bert. MAYA We can go to Wikipedia right now, buddy, and settle this like real internet gangstas. COACH Melody just got herself off in a pool of baby oil and you two are debating PBS children’s shows! Holly’s preoccupation with being hit by a duck, permits Melody to run across the surface and attempt to tackle her to the ground. But Holly sidesteps the attack and Melody suffers a nasty crash into Jade’s pod. She crumbles up in a heap, and groans in pain. MELODY Hit points low, need Hi-potion! JADE Ah baby oil! MAYA And here we go. JADE I can’t stand….BABY OIL! Jade shoves through her pod door and immediately begins washing the baby oil off the glass… JADE MAYA People often ask, Maya, whats it like to be the only sane one in your family? And I saw it’s a lot like being kicked in the face by Snoopy instead of being kicked in the face by Clifford the Big Red dog. I don’t thin that made any sense, but as long we’re referencing children’s shows I thought I’d go for it. Holly grabs onto Melody’s slim waist and rams the Nerdly girl into the steel mesh, her phat butt teasing its way through the holes in the cage. Holly then reddens Melody’s back with a pair of forearms, before throwing her over onto the food table. Holly then picks up an apple, chews it, and spits its gooey remains at her foe. MELODY (in homer simpson voice) Mmmmm, regurgitated fruit. Elsewhere, Maggie has wrestled Lorelei into the corner. She leaps into her chest, and sends her flying overhead with a monkey flip. But Lorelei lands on her feet, and takes a graceful bow after doing so. This is perhaps unwise, as Maggie rolls her up with a school girl, giving an extra special peek of Lorelei’s baby oil soaked ass as she does so. ONE! TWO! Lorelei rolls out the pinfall. He immediately springs upwards, where Maggie meets her with the Deodorator! Lori stumbles about the ring, her hurt arm held against her bare stomach. Maggie stalks her every move as she waits for the perfect moment to strike. Finally she reaches forward and seizes hold of Lorelei’s right wrist, twisting it behind her back. Lorelei cries out in fear and begs for mercy. But Maggie will hear none of these pleas as she grabs hold of Lori’s flowing golden hair. Pulling on both hair and arm, Maggie forces Lorelei to her knees. There the real fun begins, as Maggie digs through Lorelei’s bikini top, seeking to unearth the buried treasured beneath. Lorelei is furious with fear and rage, and thrashes wildly against Maggie’s efforts. The California crowd roots Maggie on, desperate to see Lorelei’s hooters laid bare. But their potential enjoyment is laid to waste as Lorelei powers through Maggie’s bonds. COACH I gotta savor this. Do you know those damn politicans and Kansas are so broke they had to tax porn? Can’t do nothing about it, though. MAYA You could try voting. COACH Voting? What the hell? When has that ever done anything for anyone? Voting! What a waste of perfectly useful time. Maggie and Lorelei trade blows near the baby oil pit, as Holly and Melody tussle around the food table. Maggie lunges for Lorelei, and connects with a perfect lariat! The blow carries so much momentum that the two ladies are flung over the top rope and into the baby oil pit. The crowd roars in approval as their gorgeous bodies are once lathered in the shiny fluid. Maggie scrambles upright first and gazes down at Lorelei with predatory eyes. MAGGIE TO LORELEI Lorelei is in a divine trance, sent to highest reaches of an erotic heaven. Unfortunatly for her, she doesn’t quite realize she’s being pinned at the same moment… ONE! TWO! THREE! Snapped from her pleasurable journey of Sapphic beauty, Lorelei shoves Maggie off her. She looks at Alix and then launches into a bitter tirade, angrily accusing the guest referee of bias. This does not sit well with Maggie, who shoves Lorelei into Alix. Together the two former lovers topple backwards with Lorelei landing in Alix’s lap… ALIX The timer appears! 5 4 3 2 1! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! The light flickers from Jade to Morgan before finally stopping on…..JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN There a huge pop as Little Miss California is ready to be unleashed upon her hometown audience. But their anticipation continues to go unfilled as Alix blocks to the exit! ALIX Halt! What’s the password! JADE There is no password! ALIX What’s the password! JADE Let me out I have to pee! ALIX Password! JADE Here…. ALIX That works! MAYA Yikes, that’s going to make for awkward dinner conversation. Meanwhile, Holly has overturned the food table, frustrated with her inability to lay hands on Melody. She picks up the food table and chucks it into the ring, narrowly avoiding Melody. Annoyingly, she’s plucked in the back of the head by a cucumber by Maggie! Angered by this sudden attack, Holly darts at Maggie, but she’s intercepted by a spear from Melody! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Melody grabs onto Holly’s arm and uses it to launch her into the corner. Holly lands with such force that she sinks down to her bethonged tush. Melody and Maggie have a bit of a conference deciding what action to perform next. Once they figure it out, Melody slaps Maggie on the tush and orders her forward. Maggie charges in…AND IS HIT WITH A DROPKICK BY JADE! JADE I am so sorry! I don’t’ know what came over me, I just- Melody rolls Jade up for a pinfall! ONE! TWO! Jade pushes Melody off her, which causes Melody to stumble directly into a front facelock from Holly. Holly grabs onto Melody’s bare leg and whirls him around for The Mirage! Alix drops down to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Melody has been eliminated! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Tough break for Melody and I’m gonna miss that ass. Look at dat dere derrière on dat one! MAYA “Look at dat dere derrière on dat one” Outstanding. Repeat that mantra, viewers. The secrets of the universe are in there. Further analysis would be inadequate. Just as soon as one Nerdly exits another enters as the light settles on Morgan! Morgan, however, is just a little bit too shy to reveal her goodies to the world. Finally after some encouraging words from Maggie, she disrobes. MORGAN TO THE CAMERA MAN ALIX Uh, breasts inspector. MORGAN Huh? ALIX Breasts inspector! JADE Alix, there is no- ALIX Shut up! She owes me! ALIX TO MORGAN MORGAN GET OFF ME! CAMERA MAN Breasts inspector number 2! The camera man shoves the camera into Holly’s hand, and lets her film the following… CAMERAMAN TO MORGAN AND MORGAN TO CAMERAMAN COLE Fortunatley we have our outside cameras to stay with all the smoking hot action. Holly, however, still has a camera. And in her evil hands that camera is a weapon. One she launches at Maggie! But Maggie ducks the attack leaving Holly to wildly careen forward. Holly falls against the turnbuckle posts, and she’s brought down to her butt by a running knee from her archrival Jade. With Holly in a prone position, Maggie executes a thrilling move… MAGGIE TO HOLLY COLE Yo, there ain’t no need for ass play at this time! This fight is still early, you gotta tease me a bit! I don’t need that shit in the early rounds of da fight! MAYA Well said, Coach. That was undeniably powerful, and possibly a metaphor for creation, war, and geometry all at once. Maggie is timidly pulled away from Holly by her sister Morgan. Maggie isn’t so timid, and playfully shoves Morgan. Not understanding that her sister was merely joking, Morgan grabs her onto her shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry! MAYA Maggie is about to be shocked and awed! But Maggie succeeds in clamoring down Morgan’s half naked body. Not wanting to fight her sister, Maggie decides to use some more playful strategy MAGGIE to MORGAN ALIX That is so sweet. The most I ever did for my sister was set her hair on fire and dunk her burning skull into a pee filled toilet. Holly recovers her strength and runs at Maggie and Morgan with a lariat! Morgan is floored immediately but Maggie has enough wits about her to duck it. But as a result Jade is lariated over the ropes and into the baby oil pit. JADE Baby oil! Nooooooooooooooooooo! HOLLY (rubbing Jade’s face in the baby oil) Eat shit, bitch! With Jade out, Holly turns her attention to Maggie. She fires off a knife edge chop, and the white hot intense heat burns through Maggie’s skin. Maggie turns away from Holly, her barely dressed chest sore from the vicious attack. Holly swings around to Maggie’s front and unleashes another knife edge chop to her chest. The skimply dressed redhead replaces the slow calculated nature of her previous assault, preferring to light Maggie up with reckless abandon! However, these furious attacks have poor accuracy as Maggie is able to catch onto Holly’s arm and strike her with The Deodorator! COLE Holly is a very intimidating character in the OAOAST. MAYA Mom says nothing is more intimidating to a man than a woman that’s smart and sexy,and Holly is good at pretending she’s both. Maggie runs the ropes, her breasts jiggling beautifully as she moves. Problematically, she carries herself into a front facelock by Holly. Within moments she’s being whirled around by The Mirage! Alix is forced to drop down and count the pinfall… ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER Maggie Nerdly has been eliminated! Delighted with one upping her archrival, Holly can’t help but celebrate…. HOLLY And that’s when Jade gets it from her mama and nails her with a reverse X-factor! The audience erupts with cheers for their hometown girl as she makes a pin attempt… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! BUFFER Holly has been eliminated! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MAYA Ha! Duncan girls-a billion Holly-zero! Holly recovers enough of her strength to make a weak lunge at Jade. This is ill advised as Jade whirls around her and captures her into a standing inverted chinlock. From there the reverse x-factor is executed once again! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing as Holly rolls away in humiliation. ALIX Wait! I really think you two need a timeout stretching routine. JADE No we don’t. ALIX I said you do. JADE And I said we don’t. ALIX If you don’t I’ll never ever count a pin, and I’ll tell everyone you call and hang up on Leonardo DiCaprio three times a day, because you’re too shy to talk him! JADE Fine! JADE MORGAN ALIX Yes, my pretties, yes. And just one more thing… Alix rips away Morgan’s bra, much to the little Nerdly girls immense horror. She covers up her perky tits before the audience can be treated to a life affirming view. MORGAN HEY! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! COLE Morgan is still pissed at Alix from what happened a couple weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, Leon Rodez planting hatred in her heart. ALIX I just thought a bra is so restriciting, that’s why we used to burn them in the 60’s. JADE You weren’t even born till 1973! ALIX Hey, you wanna meet the breasts inspector? JADE I’ll shut up. Alix helps a frightened Morgan’s issue by strapping on a back pack! Morgan is suddenly a lot happier to be a little bit more covered. MORGAN COLE Where did a backpack come from? MAYA Where does a kiss from an angel come from? Where does the tender compassion of god come from? Where does a lover’s warm embrace come from? From Pittsburgh, that’s where. At this point, Jade dives for Morgan, and spears the littler girl through the ropes. The barely clothed beauties land in the baby oil pit, giving rise to excited song from the audience. Their silky, shimmering legs tangle in a furious twist of golden brown beauty as their hands weave through each other’s blond strands. With flaming desire, they wiggle in their naked snarl, legs tangled in a delightfully sensual coil. MAYA I think whoever wrote this promo script is dyslexic, because I’m supposed to say “Match good soon up Vs Mister Krista Dick like world title it hot moon the watch is thing to do so watch” Well, its more coherent than Alix’s memoir which at this point is just some coupons from Denny’s and a few crude stick figure drawings. Back inside the ring, Morgan charges towards Jade. Litle Miss California swings her heel around to hammer Morgan’s cute face with a back kick. However, Morgan seizes hold of her foot and slams it downwards to the canvas. The force of the impact throws Little Miss California off balance and sends her hardly concealed breasts wobbling across her chest. Morgan then grabs onto Jade’s thong and lifts her into a flap jack that drops her across the top rope. Jade is thrown into a fit of violent coughing and is immediately approached by Alix, not about her health mind you, but rather Jade mailed the netflix dvds back yet. Morgan wraps her hands around Jade’s smooth six packed stomach. The massaging feel of Morgan’s pert breasts tickling her flesh is replaced by the horror of being German suplexed! But Jade counters, by rolling through. But Morgan counters by rolling through her roll through. Jade’s heart shaped butt hangs in the air, there to be marveled at by all viewers. One of which is Alix, who forgets to count the pin. Finally after a meekly stated protest, Alix scores the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Jade kicksout! As her firm and muscular butt beams proudly on display beneath animal print panties, Jade hunches over awaiting Morgan’s rise. When Morgan does, Jade seizes beneath her chin in set up for the reverse x-factor! But Morgan quickly counters, by dipping down and taking Jade onto her shoulders in a fireman’s carry. But Morgan is more concernd with protecting her modesty as the backpack continues to fail in its mission to shield her boobs. This preoccupation, allows Jade to sneak out the hold. She lands behind Morgan and executes the reverse x-factor! COLE Got it from her mama! A pinfall is then made… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! DING DING DING! The fans explode with mammoth, heart felt, and warm cheers for their hometown girl’s big victory! MAYA Hooray. Yippie. Delightful. Jade does the right thing and helps Morgan to her feet. She shakes the smaller girl’s hand and offers her some words of encouragement. Morgan is taken aback by this show of kindness and sheepishly backs away from Jade. BUFFER Your winner and new OAOAST Women’s Champion…JADE RODEZ-DUNCAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN! COACH Theodore Moneymaker, sir, you’ve blessed us undeserving masses with a great one tonight! How might I ever repay you? Alix applauds Jade’s victory and gives her a high five, before the eldest Duncan child hits the top rope and celebrates with her women’s title. COLE One Duncan winning a title tonight could that be a sign of things to come in tonight's mainevent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 The arena dims, and a spotlight shines on the Heartland title hanging from the cable. COLE And for the second time tonight, an OAOAST championship belt hangs from the ceiling here in Los Angeles! It's the deciding match of the Best-of-7 Heartland series! Let's go to the ring!Master Blaster (Jammin') hits, and the crowd erupts for Denzel Spencer as he comes through the curtains. BUFFERThe following contest is the seventh and final match of the Best-of-7 series for the OAOAST Heartland title! It is a ladder match! The man who first climbs the ladder and grabs the championship belt, will be the champion! Introducing first, from Montego Bay, Jamaica, weighing in at 227 pounds...DENNNNZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Denzel rolls into the ring and sets off his pyro, after which God of Thunder hits, and Thunderkid makes his way to the ring. BUFFERHis opponent...from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heartland champion...THHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIID!!!!! COLE And let's remind you again of the stipulation laid down by Alfdogg after the last match: if any member of the Deadly Alliance interferes, TK will automatically lose the title to Denzel Spencer! TK steps around the ladder, and approaches the apron, where Denzel hits him with a baseball slide! *DING DING DING* COLE We're underway! OAOAST Heartland title on the line! Denzel hammers TK with right hands, then rams his face into the apron, before rolling him back inside. He whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a flying back elbow! COLE Denzel off to a fast start in the deciding match of this best of 7 series! COACH Well, what do you expect after that cheap shot before the bell? COLE You gotta do what you gotta do when OAOAST gold is on the line! Denzel catches TK with a clothesline, then backs him into a corner and fires away with kicks. He tries to whip him across, but TK reverses. TK charges, but Denzel gets his foot up! Denzel then catches TK with a spinning wheel kick, and covers, but the referee reminds him of the rules. COLE Keep in mind folks, this is a ladder match, the only way to win is to climb a ladder and grab the belt from the cable above the ring! Denzel goes to pick TK up, but TK goes to the midsection, then hammers him on the back, before tossing him shoulder-first into the ringpost! COLE And TK sending Denzel into that steel ringpost shoulder-first! TK hammers Denzel with European uppercuts, then brings him out and executes a shoulderbreaker! COACH TK being smart here, working over a body part, going to work on the shoulder! COLE Makes it harder to climb that ladder when you've only got one good arm to pull yourself up! TK tries the move again, but Denzel slips behind the back, and hits TK with right hands. He attempts an Irish whip, but TK reverses, only to be caught with a spinning headscissor takedown! COLE Beautiful headscissor takedown by Denzel Spencer! TK rolls outside, and Denzel follows. Denzel tries to whip TK into the guardrail, but TK reverses, and Denzel hits it back-first instead! TK stops to catch his breath, then heads towards the ladder. COLE And TK is going after the ladder! However, just as he gets to it, Denzel catches up and hits him from behind. However, TK fights him off, and sends him into the steel steps! COLE And now it's the steel steps that meet the body of Denzel Spencer! TK then grabs the ladder, and heads towards the ring as Denzel rolls inside. Denzel backs into the ropes, and comes back with a baseball slide...but TK dodges it, then rams the top of the ladder into Denzel's head! COACH TK well in control of this thing now, Cole! TK sets up the ladder in the ring, and starts to climb, but Denzel slides in and pulls him off in an electric chair, and drops back to the mat! Denzel gets to his feet, and folds up the ladder, waiting on TK to get to his feet. When he does, Denzel runs across the ring and rams it into TK's head! COLE And both of these guys will use the ladder to their full advantage, as they're showing right now! Denzel sets up TK in a corner, softening him up with a high kick, then grabs the ladder again, using it as a battering ram in the corner! He then sets the ladder up in an opposite corner, across the top rope. He softens up TK with kicks, then tries to whip him across...but TK reverses, sending Denzel into the ladder! COLE And this time it backfires on Denzel Spencer! Denzel finds a chair under the apron, as TK approaches the the ropes. TK tries a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~!, but Denzel catches him on the lower back with the chair on the way down! COLE Denzel with a steel chair, countering the high-risk move by TK, who is in a lot of pain on the floor! Denzel picks up TK, and sets him up for a suplex, dropping him stomach-first across the guardrail! He then grabs the ladder, with TK still draped across the guardrail, and sets it on the floor. He stands on the apron, and attempts to ride the ladder down on top of him, but TK moves, and Denzel takes a hard landing on the ladder and rail! COLE Denzel taking a lot of chances here, and not all of them paying off for him! One more could end up costing him! TK climbs back over the rail, and grabs the ladder, ramming it once again into Denzel's face as he gets to his feet! COLE And again, that ladder rammed right into the face of Denzel! TK then grabs the chair, and slams it across the back of Denzel, before rolling him inside. He whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a big clothesline! He then goes out and grabs the ladder, bringing it inside and propping it up in a corner. He scoops Denzel up onto his shoulder, and rams him face-first into the ladder! COLE Denzel face once again into the ladder! COACH And I think that one drew blood, Cole! COLE Indeed, Denzel Spencer has been split open by the assault with the ladder! TK tries it once again, but Denzel slips off and shoves TK into the ladder! COLE But look at him come back! As TK sits up, he's met with a seated dropkick! Denzel then props the ladder in the corner again, and picks up TK. He lifts him for an atomic drop, then sets him up in the ladder. He climbs the top rope, then rides the ladder down to the mat, with TK smashed under the ladder and Denzel! COLE What a move by Denzel! All his weight plus that of the ladder coming down on TK! Denzel slowly makes his way to his feet again, and grabs the ladder. He waits for TK to get up, then comes at him with the ladder, only to have it dropkicked back into him! COLE And a nice counter dropkick by TK! TK executes a back suplex on Denzel, then grabs the ladder and sets it up longway on the top rope. He then attempts an Irish whip, but Denzel reverses, sending TK head-first into the top of the ladder! Denzel then goes to the apron, grabbing the ladder off the ropes, and holding it inside the ring from the apron. When TK gets to his feet, Denzel drops off the apron, bringing the ladder up into the face of TK! COACH Wow! COLE TK taking a hard shot to the face, and now he looks to be busted open! Denzel climbs back onto the apron, then climbs to the top rope while holding the ladder. When TK gets to his feet, Denzel tips the ladder down to him, then dropkicks it into his face! COLE And again TK taking a hard ladder to the face! Denzel then tries to climb for the belt, but TK gets to his feet in time to stop him, hammering him on the back, then lifting him off the ladder in a rack position, and dumping him over to the floor! COLE Wow! What a fall Denzel took right there, very unorthodox throw to the floor by TK! TK lays on the mat for a bit, then climbs once again, but is met by Denzel, who springboards off the top rope to meet him atop! COLE/COACH Denzel headbutts a stunned TK off the ladder, then tries to finish his climb as the crowd comes to its feet, but TK manages to shove the ladder over, hanging Denzel up on the ropes! COLE It's getting heated in this one! TK gets to his feet and grabs the ladder, only to be met by a drop toe hold from Denzel, which causes him to fall straight into the ladder! COLE Another great counter by Denzel! Denzel then sets up TK in a corner, and sets up the ladder right in front of him. Denzel climbs the ladder, pulling up TK with him, and attempting a superplex. COLE Denzel going to try to superplex TK from the ladder! However, TK fights back with right hands, and knocks Denzel down. TK then climbs the rest of the way up. COLE Oh my, what is TK going for here? TK tries a SWANTON BOMB off the top of the ladder...but Denzel rolls out of the way! COLE Oh, nobody home! TK rolls into a corner, as Denzel slowly gets to his feet, and climbs the ladder. However, as he starts to reach the top, he's met with a chairshot from FELIX STRUTTER! COLE Wait a minute! COACH What's going on here? Ken Pantera pulls Denzel down and hammers on his back, as Strutter folds up the ladder and lays it on the mat. COLE Why are the Can-Am Assassins out here? Pantera whips Denzel across, and Strutter catches him with a SLEEPER DROP ON THE LADDER~! COLE Denzel's body crushed across that ladder! Pantera then grabs the ladder and sets it up, as Strutter tosses Denzel to the outside. TK crawls over to the ladder and begins to climb, eventually reaching the top and grabbing the belt! *DING DING DING* COLE I can't believe this! What is the meaning of the Can-Am Assassins coming out here? BUFFERThe winner of the match...and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion...THHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIID!!!!! COACH Look! The Can-Ams help TK to his feet, as Strutter grabs the belt from the referee and drapes it across TK's shoulder! COLE The Can-Am Assassins are helping TK to the back, after costing Denzel Spencer this match! I don't understand this at all! COACH And these guys are not members of the Deadly Alliance! I'm a little confused by this, too, I have to admit, Cole! COLE Well, the stipulation was that if anyone from the Deadly Alliance interfered on TK's behalf, he would lose the title, but that's obviously not the case here! Folks this is very confusing, hopefully we can get more on this story in the coming days, but for now, TK has won the best-of-7 series, 4 matches to 3, and retains the OAOAST Heartland title! The Can-Ams help the bloodied TK to the back as Denzel comes to in the ring, and looks towards the back shaking his head in disgust. COACH dat nigga look like kobe after a fight wit' reggie miller! COLE Denzel understandably upset about the outcome of this match! Folks, we'll be back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "Wildside" by Motley Crue hits and Malaysia heads down the aisle solo. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, the ultimate combination of beauty and beat downs… MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSIA!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Look at this, Cole. Malaysia is solo. Now Baron Windels won’t have any excuse when he loses. COLE If he loses. There’s no guarantee Malaysia is going to win. COACH Keep that false hope alive, baby boy. “Not Afraid” by Eminem cues and BW marches to the ring. BUFFER Her opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds, one-half of Citizen Soldiers, here is the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You know revenge is on the mind of Baron Windels this evening. COACH And in a few minutes Malaysia’s fist will be down his throat. The referee keeps BW and Malaysia at bay, then sounds for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * Just like a few weeks before, Malaysia and BW come face to face. This time, however, Malaysia refuses to lockup until the referee checks BW for hidden foreign objects. COLE Are you kidding me? If anybody should be checked for illegal objects it’s Malaysia. COACH I’d volunteer for that job. BW is patted down, then gets down to avoid a sucker punch and connects with a boomerang lariat! COLE MySpace Comeback! BW knew it was a ploy. BW slams Malaysia’s face into the mat repeatedly, then pounds her from the middle rope in the corner. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! BW pauses to play to the crowd. He wants to know whether to strike with another Texas sized right hand or a Cowboy Bebop elbow. * cocks fists * “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” * cocks elbow * "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Looks like it’s option 2. COACH Well I say option 3: let Malaysia go! BW drops the hammer and Malaysia stumbles out of the corner. BW charges off the ropes to deliver his trademark RUNNING BUTT BUMP… but Malaysia catches him midair and executes a RELEASE OVERHEAD GERMAN SUPLEX! COLE What power displayed by Malaysia! Malaysia clubs BW repeatedly in the back of the neck, then delivers a FALLAWAY SLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Malaysia rams BW into the buckle and follows up with a series of shoulder thrusts. She whips BW across but charges into a BIG BOOT! BW unloads a flurry of right hands, then delivers a Cowboy Bebop elbow that knocks Malaysia off her feet. COACH That’s no way to treat a lady. COLE That is no lady. Malaysia grabs hold of BW’s trunks and tosses him outside to buy a time out, but he leaps back on the apron and IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! COLE Top rope lariat! This could do it! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW looks to whip Malaysia into the ropes, but she reverses and spikes him with THE BOSSMAN SLAM!! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! BW kicks out, so Malaysia executes a butterfly suplex and covers him again. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Malaysia sets BW on the top rope for a SUPERPLEX. COACH (laughs) I love it. Malaysia plans on beating Baron Windels with one of his own moves. Only if Malaysia can lift BW up, which she can’t because he grabs onto the top rope. A couple shots to the oven knocks Malaysia straight back to the canvas, but she recovers in time to nail BW coming off the top with a YAKUZA KICK TO THE CHEST!!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Malaysia’s gotta be wondering what it’ll take to put BW away. COLE And the answer is a whole heck of a lot. Malaysia pounds the mat in frustration, then attempts to power bomb BW, but he counters with a backdrop and a RUNNING BUTT BUMP! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW plans to show Malaysia how to properly execute THE SUPERPLEX when she floats over the top and delivers a CANADIAN BACKBREAKER PILEDRIVER!!! COACH Stick a fork in Baron Windels, Cole, he’s done. The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO!! Malaysia incredibly lifts BW off the mat. COLE Why the heck did Malaysia do that? She could have won it right there. The answer is to inflict more pain on BW. Her method of choice: an INVERTED BOSTON CRAB! COACH I understand it now. Malaysia wants to humiliate BW the same way she did Tim Cash. BW refuses to quit as fans chant his name. As Malaysia cranks on the pressure we get a surprise appearance by TIM CASH. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Armed with a T-SHIRT GUN, Cash fires at Malaysia’s ass. MALAYSIA She breaks the hold to see Cash sticking his tongue out at her. When she turns around BW delivers a kick to the gut, then serves a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT~! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! COACH No! COLE Yes! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW celebrates with Cash, who does a victory lap around Malaysia. COACH This isn’t right, Cole. It was 2 on 1. COLE You know what they say about paybacks. COACH I seriously doubt you’d be saying that if Mr. Dick had been the one who interfered. COLE Mr. Dick wasn’t threaten with sodomy or screwed out of the World title like Tim Cash and Baron Windels were. COACH You’d justify anything for your favorites. I’m through with this conversation. COLE Good because we’re through with this match. But we still got more action to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We go to the pressbox where Terry Taylor and Tony Brannigan stand waiting to analyze the mainevent. TERRY I think the key to victory for Krista will be to feed off this hometown crowd. She’s got a big advantage as everyone in attendance is on her side, like they’re a member of her own family. This is a unique home court advantage for her. Most performers don’t get this lucky, but she has. She has got to take advantage of being at home. TONY But at the same time she can’t let that overwhelm her. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with wrestling in front of your hometown crowd. Every mistake will be magnified, and the audience will live and die with whatever she does. And she can’t let herself be distracted by her mother. That’s going to be hard. That almost takes away the hometown advantage to have your own mother rooting against you. TERRY Mister Dick on the other hand can’t be fazed by the crowd, who will be totally against him. He’s not going to get calls going his way, he’s not going to be able to rally any support. This guy has to stay focused and not let the audience distract him or intimidate him. TONY We'll see who comes out on top later tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Backstage, Malaysia Nerdly is fuming over her loss, as Mr. Dick attempts to console her, when Alfdogg walks into their dressing room. ALF Hey, guys! (shakes head) Tough loss, huh. MALAYSIA Yeah, what do you care? ALF I just hate to see you taking this so tough. I mean, Baron's a top star in this company, lots of people have fallen to him in the past, and lots more will in the future. That's no reason to get so down! You know what...I'm gonna let you take the rest of the night off. MALAYSIA What? I don't want no night off! ALF Oh no, I insist! MALAYSIA I don't need the night off. ALF OK...how about this. Alf snaps his fingers, at which point a half-dozen security guards walk into the room behind him. ALF You are going to take the night off. At this, MD raises from his seat, as Malaysia clenches her fists, ready to take on the whole squad. ALF And I suggest you let your guard down, because I'm giving you another 30 nights off for each one of my guards you lay a finger on. (to guards) Get her out of here. MD Hey, wait a minute! ALF No, you wait a minute. This is one of our biggest shows of the year, in one of our hottest markets. Last month, you two cheated the people out of a great main event in Miami. You know how many complaints I got about that one? Well, it's not gonna happen again. You will go out there and take on Krista Isadora Duncan, ONE-ON-ONE, and there will be a decisive finish, be it by pinfall or submission. MD stands before Alf, frantically searching for words, when Deon Black walks into the room, and grabs MD's shake weight off the bench, and starts shaking it. MD HEY! BLACK Whoa, this thing works pretty good! Mind if I borrow it for tonight? MD What? Hell no, you can't borrow it! BLACK Please? MD then steps towards the massive Black, who looms over MD, his expression now threatening. BLACKPlease? MD S...sure...go ahead, man! BLACK Thanks. Alf and Black walk out of the room. MD ...I mean, not that you need it or anything, with that physique! Maybe you could just bring it back in...say, half an hour, or something... MD lets out a deep sigh, then runs his hand through his hair in frustration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 PLEASE PRETEND THERE ARE ENTRANCES. THANK YOU. Stomping his way down the aisle, Black suddenly picks up steam and slides into the ring... but not quick enough to catch the King, who hightails it outside. COACH He tried to ambush the King! You can't do that! COLE Is it really an ambush if you attack someone who's expecting you? COACH He clearly wasn't ready! The King huddles up to the Queen and urges the referee to control Black, who dares Landon to get in the ring. Not eager to do so, Landon stalls for time as long as he possibly can. COLE You know, he's had at least three weeks to get ready. COACH He's got a lot of expensive clothing to remove. Give him a break. You don't want him to accidentally snag that royal robe taking it off too fast. Landon takes his sweet time about disrobing as Black paces around inside the ring. Getting tired of the stalling, referee Mike Chioda leans out of the ring and encourages Landon to hurry up. To which King Landon takes great offence. So offended at being spoken to like that by a lowly referee infact, he decides to leave in protest. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The King and Queen only make it halfway up the ramp before Black angrily demands a microphone. BLACK OI OI OI!! Landon! Landon, ya daft wanker! Offended by this, Landon turns around and insists that he be referred to as King Landon, as always. BLACK Ya know what Landon... for six months, you've been runnin' from me. For six months, you've been 'idin from me. You've sent yer little goons after me... an' I kicked all their arses. You put a bounty on my 'ead and asked anyone, anyone at all, to take me out for yeh... an' I kicked all their arses too. So when are yeh gonna get it through yer thick skull Landon that there's nobody left. An' if you want me gone so bad, maybe you oughta do somethin' about it yerself. I mean... if you're really the "King of the OAOAST", you'd have no problem beatin' a "common peasant" like me, would yeh? KING LANDON (from the ramp) Exactly! BLACK Then 'ow about you quit 'idin behind yer Queen's frilly knickers, grow some hair on yer bollocks and take me out then!?! Having had his punk card and his double-dog-dare card well and truly played, the King seems flustered. Part of him still wants to leave. But he can't bear to lose face in the eyes of his Queen. So after much strife, he turns and runs for the ring... *DINGDINGDING* ...and gets stomped as soon as he slides in! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here we go! Black stomps the hell out of Maddix and keeps on stomping until the referee finally steps in and saves the King from a pummelling. Hurt already, Landon glances up from the ball he'd curled up into... and decides he was right the first time, rolling back outside and heading for the exits again. But he doesn't make it far. Black rolls out and drags the King back, throwing him back inside, where the noble King promptly starts to beg for his life. COLE Boy, there's a man to be proud of. There's your King! Chuckling to himself, Black snatches Landon up by the hair and wallops him with a European uppercut! And another one! Wobbly, the King throws a drunk right and comes nowhere near connecting. So Black delivers a third uppercut and Landon goes down. COLE Nathaniel Black has been waiting six months for this match. And I think deep down, he's been waiting closer to two years to actually slap King Landon around. This is months and months of pent-up frustration coming out here tonight at AngleSlam. Landon picks himself up in a corner and comes under another barrage of shots from Black, able to pick his spots. Black then whips Landon across the ring and into the opposite corner hard. The King wobbles out and falls to his knees, ready to beg again... and gets kicked right in the face!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Ohh... ohh, Landon. COLEKing Landon. COACH Don't start that with me! I know he's the King! Quit enjoying this! Trying to retreat again, Landon makes it as far as the ring apron before being grabbed by his hair! Scared for his life, Landon reaches out for the Queen to help him. But Black pulls him up and gives him a forearm shot. And a second one. Mike Chioda warns Black to get the match back inside. So with a smile, he does so. Black hooks Landon up and gives him a suplex back into the ring, to a howl of pain from the King. COACH This is sad. After all the King did for this guy, all the unselfish acts, this is the thanks? COLE Unselfish acts? Landon held Nathaniel back for years! It was always all about Landon and this delusional behaviour since he became the "King" was just the final straw. Black walks around waiting for Landon to get up, very patient. Almost enjoying himself. Once the King is up, Black dares him to box a little bit, before catching him in the breadbasket with a low headbutt! Bending King Landon over backwards Black then takes aim, with a clubbing blow to the chest. Coughing and spluttering, Landon tries to crawl away, as the Queen looks on worried. Landon starts to reach out to her again. Until Black, very calmly, steps on his wrist. COLE Nowhere to run, nobody to hide behind! With Landon pinned down, Black raises his other boot... and kicks Landon in the back of the head! COACH Ow! Landon is shaken up, as Black measures him for another stomp to the head! BLACK C'MON LANDON! KISS 'EM! KISS MY FEET! Black, to Landon's great embarrassment, forces the King to kiss his feet, to the approval of the crowd! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Come on, that's just humiliating! COLE That's a taste of King Landon's own medicine. A very bitter, leathery tasting medicine. And the King is being humbled here tonight. Pulling himself up on the ropes, Landon's attempts to plead for mercy still fall on deaf ears. Black gives him a boot and whips him across the ring. Bouncing back, the King ducks underneath a non-existant clothesline and takes aim... *SLAP* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop... ...which Black just laughs at. KING LANDON Awwww... Black NAILS a resigned King Landon with a forearm shot and down he goes. COACH Come on Landon! Think of the Kingdom! Don't let your people down! Looking amused, Black hauls the King back up by the seat of his pants. Which seems to worry Queen Esther as much as anything, clearly worried about the dangers of royal chaffing. Black makes Landon squirm for a second, before spinning him around and hitting another European uppercut. The King is out on his feet and ready for someone to throw the towel in. Black gives him a second European uppercut. Off the ropes, Black then looks to take aim with one big clothesline... ...but comes to a screeching halt, narrowly avoiding Mike Chioda, who has been pulled in front of the King like a human shield!! COLE Hey! Black shoves the referee aside... and Landon catches him with a LOW KICK!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Before Chioda can suspect, King Landon quickly hooks Black up, dropping him with a neckbreaker down across the knee. The King then falls against the ropes and breathes huge gasps of relief. COLE That stands to reason. A lowblow, the first offensive move that the King has even managed in this entire match. Is that actions befitting a King? I don't think so! Having been fanned down by the Queen, Landon manages to drag himself off the ropes and covers Black... 1... 2... No! Despite the kickout, Landon for the first time in the match still has the advantage. And he begins to put the royal boots to Black in the centre of the ring. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Still out of breath and looking half-beaten, Landon takes the referee, virtually using him as a leaning post. Which allows Queen Esther to deliver a very timid and womanly, but embarrassing, slap from the outside. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That's right Queen! Show him how you treat a peasant! COLE Give me a break. The slap seems to anger Black more than anything. Which is bad news for Landon, who comes over and ends up getting a forearm in the face! He staggers, before walking back in, right into a second forearm. As Black goes after Maddix though, he's weighed down by Queen Esther grabbing him by the foot! And the distraction allows the King to connect with the Dropsault against the ropes!! COLE Will somebody get her out of here!? COACH Why? You can't tell a Queen where she can and cannot be. COLE She doesn't even know where she is! She probably thinks this is some magical fairyland and that you're a giant talking mushroom! She's a kook! Cover by Landon... 1... 2... No! The King dishes out some more stomps, but suddenly gets distracted... ...as MEGAN SKYE heads to the ring. COACH Wait a minute... what's she doing here!? COLE Well that's Landon's former longtime manager and partner, Megan Skye. The woman that Landon kicked to the kerb in favour of Queen Esther, in one of his more delusional moments. And I think Megan has seen just about enough of the Queen sticking her nose in this match! The horrified Queen calls for her guards, of which there are none, leaving her to shy away from the glare Megan is aiming at her from across the ring. In the ring, Landon gives Black a couple more kicks, but is clearly distracted by Megan. And eventually, he loses all concentration and goes over to confront her. The King chastises Megan and orders her to leave. But Megan stands firm, arms folded, not going anywhere. King Landon continues to order her around though and ends up leaning out of the ring, demanding that she listen to the King... so Megan SLAPS HIM! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" KING LANDON COACH Come on ref, how bout a DQ!? A dazed and surprised King Landon stumbles away from the ropes... and right into a LARIAT from Black!! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Maddix stumbles into a corner and Black follows him in, but walks right into a boot to the gut. King Landon fights his way out of the corner with right hands, then backs up, going to the middle rope. Pointing an accusing finger at Megan, he takes flight with a Front Missile Dropkick... but Black takes a step back and avoids it! The back of Landon's head bounces off the mat. And Black hooks him up for a slingshot, back into the corner... and all the way OVER the corner, over the top and to the outside!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Oh my! The King was damn near catapulted into the front row! COACH This isn't fair, Michael. King Landon was doing perfectly fine until Megan showed up. How's he supposed to concentrate with her out here? There must be laws about harassing a King, look them up and see if we can get her thrown out of here! Ending up in a heap on the arena floor, King Landon is helped to his feet by Queen Esther. Megan has something to say about this though and heads around the ring. Scared, Queen Esther backs away from Megan, which confuses the King, who doesn't see her. That is until Megan grabs Landon by the seat of his pants and throws him back into the ring! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Now she's THROWING him around!! This just ain't right!! An aghast King gets to his feet and starts to yell at Megan, then realises where he is and turns around, into a forearm from Black! A second! And a third! And then a fourth! Black whips King Landon to the ropes and sends him flying with a BAAAAACK bodydrop!! COACH AHHHH!! The King tries to pick himself back up, but gets nailed with a running knee to the side of the head, sending him flying! Black makes the cover... 1... 2... No! Black whips Landon into the corner and follows in with a hard clothesline. Black then hooks Landon with an overhead throw, a release Belly to Belly, launching him across the ring. Another cover by Black... 1.. 2... No! COLE A win here would be the closure that Nathaniel Black is looking for. Revenge against Landon, but more than that, a victory over a former World Champion and a chance to climb the ladder in the OAOAST, in a way he never could with Landon tethering him down. Nathaniel picks Landon back up again. He dishes out a forearm. And another one, leaving Landon dazed on his feet. Off the ropes, he then nails Landon with a clothesline from the back! Maddix hits the deck, face-first. And as he starts to pick himself up, Black takes aim. He stares a hole through his former leader, then tries to put a hole in his chest, pulling a 360 and looking for the BLACK LARIAT... DUCKED! Landon stops and anticipates an elbow coming back the other way, ducking that as well and hitting the ropes. By the time Black turns around, the King is already back at him, spinning around Black's neck with his left arm and hooking him down with an inverted bulldog with the right! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wahoo! COLE The King scores big with his Guillotine, out of nowhere! Will that be enough though? King Landon rolls over on top and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! COLE It's not enough to beat Nathaniel Black. And I'm not sure if the King believes he can. After all, he's done everything he can to avoid being in this match for months. Despairing, the King has to shake himself out of it and drag himself back up. He waits for Black, then fires with a kick to the chest! And a second one! COACH He's not avoiding anything now though. Looks like he's kicking some royal BUTT, if you ask me! With Black hurting, Landon boots him in the gut. He holds Black's head down and with rapid fire kicks, forces the Englishman to Kiss The Royal Feet!! After the tenth or eleventh kick, the King stops to take a bow... at which point, Black stands up and TURNS LANDON INSIDE OUT WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE OH MY~! Queen Esther looks on in horror, as Black drags Landon back up... and hits the Half Nelson Backbreaker for good measure!! Cover... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! Coming over all faint, the Queen fans herself frantically COLE Oh, how close can you get!? Looking to put Landon away, Black crosses the arms underneath and sets him up for the Brittania Bomb. Sensing it coming, the King drops to a knee and dead-weights, trying desperately not to get picked up. Black lets him go and clubs him in the back a couple of times, then hits the ropes. But Maddix cuts him off on the way back with an interceptive forearm. COACH The King isn't dead yet. Long live the King! Landon sets up for the Complete Shot, but Black fights his way out, delivering elbows. Forced away, King Landon comes back with a kick, but Black catches it and spins him around, looking for another Lariat... but Landon ducks! Catching Black, Landon jars him with a quick Jawbreaker. The King then hooks Black up and goes for the Crowning Glory, looking for sliced bread... ...BUT FALLING RIGHT INTO A CROSSFACE CHICKENWING TRAP!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COACH AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! COLE GOT CAUGHT! THE KING GOT CAUGHT! Eyes bulging, King Landon finds himself taken down to the mat and caught in the Crossface Chickenwing with a matter of seconds! The crowd go wild expecting a tapout, when suddenly, referee Mike Chioda goes down clutching his face as something is thrown at him by Queen Esther!!! COLE What the hell was that!? She just threw some kind of powder at the referee! Megan has seen enough and goes after the Queen, tackling her to the ground and exposing the world to the dreaded frilly knickers as she tussles with Esther on the ground!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Meanwhile, Landon starts to tap out, but the referee is blinded and it does Black no good. Black lets go of the submission hold and distracted by the catfight on the outside, he stays on the mat... ...unaware that behind him, a large, stocky Japanese man has slid into the ring! COLE HEY! HEY!! Before Black knows what's happening, he finds himself grabbed in a waistlock. And with frightening strength, the Japanese man DEADLIFTS him off the mat and into a GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! COLE What a throw, Black just got dropped right on his head! Who is this man!? The unidentified Japanese man looks down at Black, making sure he's dealt with before leaving the ring. As he disappears, King Landon begins to recover and gets back to his feet. Landon quickly attends to the referee and tries to help him up, before turning his attentions to Black. The King watches as Black tries to get back to his feet, but is unable to do so. So the King picks him up and puts him on his shoulders, to deliver the exclamation point with a GTS!!!! COLE Go To Sleep! King Landon puts Black to slumber, but Black was defenceless, this isn't right! Still blinded, the referee crawls over and tries to make out what's in front of him as best possible as he's urged to count by the King... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The burly Japanese intruder stands at the top of the stage with his arms folded and looks on, stoicly, as the King punches his fists in the air in celebration. BUFFER Here is your winner... "KING" LLLAAAANNDDOOOOONN... MMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays jubilantly through the arena, a royal celebration for a royal victory. King Landon rolls out of the ring and raises his fists to the skies, relief as well as joy as he basks in the win. He's joined by a rather roughed-up Queen Esther, who has been let go by Megan and still seems a little shell-shocked as the King raises her hand in victory. COACH What an inspirational, come from behind victory! The King defies the odds! Historians will be writing about this great win for years... no, decades to come! The King and Queen retreat up the aisle with their win as Megan checks on Black in the ring. As they reach the top of the ramp, the royal couple meet up with the Japanese mystery man. King Landon gives the man a nod and a smile, before carrying on with his celebration. The Queen revers the man as if he were magic. COLE I smell a royal rat! King Landon escaped by the tip of his crown and I don't think it was by chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 NARRATED BY MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL Los Angeles, the gem of California. We fly through several of the majestic sights Los Angeles has to offer. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL Rich in people, culture, and life, it has played host to the summer’s biggest sporting event, Angleslam. Billions of people have witnessened majstey in sporting form, but its proud stage has time for just one more encore. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAAL The OAOAST world championship. A close up of the coveted OAOAST World Title. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL Krista Isadora Duncan and Mister Dick meet in the most important confrontation in sport, with Krista representing the entire city of Los Angeles. We fly over a beautiful night’s evening of the city of Angels. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL To one person will go the spoils, to the other the heartbreak. Two images are shown. One of Mister Dick aching in pain, and the other of a distraught Krista holding her head in her hands. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL What began as a full spectrum of life… Mister Dick flexes his powerful muscles as golden pyro rains down around him. MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL Has narrowed to just two people side by side. A staredown between Krista and Mister Dick. MAGGIE For one this most excruciating wait will be over. Desire will be replaced by delirium. To lose today? Nearly unspeakable for either party. Words can not describe the emotion behind this all. When it is all over the winner of the match will share their joy with the OAOAST Galaxy.HERE I AM AGAIN I’M THE MOTHERFUCKER OF THE YEAR “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A torrential downpour of golden pyro cascades across the entrance stage as golden lights flicker at the sides of the massive video staircase which is filled with images of Mister Dick’s triumphs. The man himself steps through the wave of pyro. He flexes his muscles, throwing his arms into the air, tightening his veins, and bulging out his impressive chest. He then curls his arms in front of his stomach, showcasing the raw beauty of his forearms as he hollers forth. Joining him at his side is Genevieve Duncan, who looks on with appreciative and lust filled eyes. Mister Dick’s arm hooks with Genevieve’s and together they head towards the entrance ramp. COLE Here he comes. What words can we use to properly describe Mister Dick. He’s arrogant, he’s vulgar, he’s rude, and he’s the OAOAST World Champion. Tonight he steps into Angleslam with an opportunity to crush the dreams of an entire city. COACH Those two, along with Malaysia, are going to get their freak on this Thursday night on Krista’s childhood bed! COLE That’s only if Mister Dick can beat Krista. Although he has before, it wasn’t in front of her own crowd. COACH Listen, if Krista beats Mister Dick I’ll have sex with YOU in the middle of that ring on HeldDOWN~! COLE Hell yeah! Mister Dick and his lovely escort stride down the entrance ramp with Mister Dick’s eyes locked squarely on the ring. Around them golden lights flash and flare and bathe the arena in their glow. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our mainevent of the evening! The following contest is for the OAOAST World Title! Introducing the champion, being accompanied by Genevieve Duncan, from San Antonio, Texas, he is THE HUMAN HARD ON, MIIIIIISSSSTTTEEEERRRRRR DIIIIIICCKKKKKKK! Mister Dick slides into the ring, and pounds his crotch into it while staring lustily at Genevieve. Then Mister Dick heads to the middle turnbuckle. He raises his shimmering world title into the air, and mouthes defiant words at the jeering audience who wish to see him robbed of that very belt. COLE Could that be the last time we see Mister Dick with the OAOAST world title? Give me those bright lights, long nights High rise, over time "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"Give me them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, over time Working till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never thought I'd say I feel on top of the world I feel on top of the world Hey A spectacular reception spills from the stands, filling into the ring and annoying Mister Dick. He orders silence, but not a soul in the stands is paying attention to him. Instead their attention is locked on the entry way with multicolored floor tiles flickering in fancy illumination. On top of these rainbow themed tiles dancers, skimply dressed as Gingerbread girls move with the rhythm of On Top of The World. A gigantic gingerbread house rolls through the bottom center of the video stairway. The house is decorated with candied jewels and intricate icing patterns. Stepping through its doorway is Krista Isadora Duncan, in Laker gold skirt and purple halter top. Her appearance is met with thundering cheers and applause, by far the loudest of the night. The statuesque beauty swings her arms through the air behind her head, and with a mind on seduction, shifts her slender hips to show off the firm muscles of her creamy thighs. COLE Welcome home, Krista Isadora Duncan! The entry ramp is lined with fashion photographers who snap her beautiful image in front of fans who lean over in effort to touch the award winning superstarlet. Her high heels click off the glitter soaked ramped as a smirk resides on her face. Being home hasn’t affected her trademark sense of cool and style. BUFFER And the challenger…. She is a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos! 2009's most searched superstar on Yahoo, 2009's highest trending OAOAST topic on Twitter, a member of the Hollywood walk of fame, 2009's Angle Award winning Wrestler Of The Year, more famous than everyone else put together and multiplied by four! She is a former two-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, "MISS CALIFORNIA"... KKRRIIIIISSTTAAAA ISADORA... DDUUUUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista struts with style and grace across the ring apron, as the pink and white lights produce lens flares on the screen. The beauty of the flares is overshadowed by the titillating shot of Krista’s ten million dollar legs hanging her upside down the on the ring ropes. Elsewhere Genevieve offers her daughter a tepid round of applause, while Mister Dick yells at her to hurry up and fight. COLE This is such an emotional match for Krista, here in her hometown, and with her own mother in her opponent’s corner. How can she even focus on the world title? COACH She can’t! There’s no way with all this going on, she can channel her focus onto winning that belt. COLE Mister Dick doesn’t seem to be intimidated at all. COACH I’d be shaking in my boots if I had a whole city wanting my blood. Suddenly a mammoth uprising of jeers fills the arena. This disgust is aimed solely at Leon Rodez, who drags Morgan Nerdly along with him down the entrance ramp. COLE What does he want? Leon and Morgan take a seat at ringside, with Leon gazing somberly at the two competitors. Mister Dick points at him and warns him to “mind his business” lest he incur a thrashing. DING DING DING The crowd noise is deafening, a massive swell of cheers and chants all for the hometown heroine. The pulsating sounds draw a small smirk onto Mister Dick’s face. He knows he’ll be the one to bring disappointment into the heart of an entire city. COLE The atmosphere here is just amazing! COACH And its all for Krista, Mikey. Mister Dick attempts to draw first blood with an elbow launched at Krista’s face. But Krista ducks the attack, and swings in front of Mister Dick to chop him his muscled chest. The Human Hard On shrugs off the blow fires off another punch. Again Krista ducks bellow the attack and Mister Dick trips himself into the corner. He’s then hit with a knife edge chop by Krista. “WHOOOOOOO~!” And another! “WHOOOOOOO~!” KRISTA Okay seriously, I will give you all twenty dollars if you stop doing that. Thinking she’s hushed the crowd Krista hits another knife edge chop. “WHOOOOOO~!” KRISTA I guess the economy here isn’t as bad as I thought! Mister Dick shoves Krista away, and steps out the corner. He assumes a striking pose and hounds Miss California about the ring. As the fans chant her name, the hometown heroine goads Mister Dick on by jutting out her mammoth hooters. Ever the horndog, Mister Dick lashes out to grab one of the beauteous mammaries, However, Krista avoids his efforts. MD lands in the corner, where he’s hammered by kicks to his legs. Krista then climbs to the second rope, and punishes him with rapid fire forearm shots. The referee calls for a clean break, which is given. But its only done so that Krista may hit MD with another knife edge chop. “WHOOOOO~!” KRISTA Grrrrrrr. Krista attempts to whip MD into the ropes. But The Cocky Prick reverses the hold and she’s sent into the cables. She ducks beneath a lariat, coming behind MD to try and punch him in the back of the head. But MD catches her hand! MISTER DICK Yer screwed now, old hag. MD grabs Krista by the throat and throws her over the ropes! Thankfully the buxom beauty is able to land on her heels. But she hasn’t time to celebrate as MD is darting towards her. She greets his arrival by leaning over the ropes and slugging him in the face. This backs MD away and allows Krista to elevate herself onto the third rope. She taunts MD and delights the crowd by lifting up the front of her skirt and showing off her gorgeous thighes encased in sexy zebra print panties. GENEVIEVE I taught you better than that! Unable to control himself, the always horny Mister Dick lunges for Krista. But Miss California leapfrogs him. MD turns on his heels and charges after her. But she jumps at him with a Lou Thez press. In tribute to Stone Cold, she rains down punch after punch on her archrival. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” her fellow Los Angelino’s sing. Mister Dick manages to shove Krista off him before she can draw any blood. He whips her into the corner, where he lights her pretty face up with closed fists. After getting a warning from a referee, he begrudgingly switches to shoulder tackles to her tightly toned midsection. Thanks to her ab strength these don’t do much damage and MD resorts to slugging her in the jaw to knock her to the ground. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Are these people going to react to every single move in this match? COLE All these people feel so connected to Krista, like she’s their very own family. She represents the heart of Los Angeles. Mister Dick attempts to irish whip Krista across the ring. But Miss California reverses the hold to bring him in close for an elbow to the face. However, MD shrugs off the damage to the hold and resumes battering her with punches. After tiring out his hand, he throws her across the ring. He chases after her, expecting to make her bite his shiny metal dick. But Krista’s heels reach the third rope and they moonsault her back to her foe. Acting quickly, MD slides out the way and Krista takes an unfortunate crash into Angleslam logo. MISTER DICK Your stomach’s gonna be a reservoir for my man chowder! You hear me! You’re gonna be swallowing good tonight! Mister Dick picks Krista off the canvas by her purple halter top and stuffs her inside a front facelock. He then flips her backwards with a vertical suplex, floating over into a cover…. ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder off the canvas, to the immense glee of the sold out audience. COLE And we still have Leon Rodez, watching ominously, at ringside. Mister Dick snaps Krista’s arm into an arm wrench, tightening the hold to cause maximum damage. He then pulls her forward into short arm shoulder thrusts that put a look of anguish onto her face. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Mister Dick, with Krista’s arm still captured, backs himself onto the second rope. He sneers at the capacity crowd before flying off to strike Krista’s arm with an elbow. The Human Hard On then flexes his powerful muscles, earning an appreciative round of applause from Genevieve. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The world champion turns around to find Krista languishing in the corner. A smile splits his face as he darts after her with a Shiny Metal dick attempt. But, Miss California slides out the way and The Cocky Prick collides knees first with the top turnbuckle. As the audience cheers his errant strike, MD staggers away from the corner. He’s put under extreme duress when Krista dropkicks his weakened knees. This puts MD into a seated position, and Krista runs off the ropes to smash his skull with a John Morrison style running knee. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Los Angeles cheers. Krista grabs onto MD’s thick legs and begins twisting him up for a figure four. COLE Isn’t this something! A submission hold used by Krista, and it may be a first! COACH It ain’t as flashy as we’re used to out of Krista, but its gonna be effective. MD fights off the hold by grabbing onto Krista’s ankle and attempting to force it away. Annoyed with his resistance, Krista promptly stomps him in the testicles. REFEREE CLEM BUZZLEFOXER Now, young lady, that isn’t appropriate behavior. KRISTA Honey, this isn’t the time to point fingers. President Obama says you can’t move forward while looking backwards. Krista drops backwards and finally succeeds in cinching in her first ever submission hold. KRISTA This is it? This is what I’ve waited all my life to experience? Where’s the torn limbs? Where’s the blood spewing from the hole where the torn limbs used to be? Despite Krista’s lack of enthusiasm, the hold has ill effects on MD. He howls in anguish and falls onto his back, forcing a pinfall count… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick sits back up, putting extra pressure on his legs. Even worse, Krista jabs him in the face and forces him back downwards… ONE! TWO! Mister Dick grits his teeth and kicksout. The pain becomes excruciating, and exhaustion is written all across his face. Krista still isn’t impressed by the submission hold’s effects, and yawns out of boredom. COACH She’s ripping the tendons in his knee and she’s yawning! Does she know anything about wrestling? COLE She knows enough to be in the Angleslam mainevent for the second year in a row. Mister Dick takes aim at Krista’s face, firing punches with manic intensity. The first several blows do little to win his battle, but the succession that follows forces Krista to free him in order to attend to her award winning visage. Mister Dick limps to his feet, cursing Krista beneath his breath. His issues with her continue to grow as she dropkicks him in the knee. She then mockingly waves to her mother, who turns her nose up in disgust. COLE What must it be like to have your own mother out at ringside rooting AGAINST you? COACH My mama tried to eat me at childbirth so I ain’t got no sympathy. Krista takes off to the ropes. But when she comes back to Mister Dick, he grabs onto her slim waist and drives her all the way to the corner. Krista cries out in agony over her now injured back. This pleases her mother, and she’s even more pleased to see MD stomp at her toned stomach with his cowboy boots. Once bored with stomping her, Mister Dick tees off on her with powerful closed fists. These earn a stern warning from referee Clem Buzzlefoxer. MISTER DICK Get outta my face, old bastard! MD latches onto Krista’s arm and throws her across the ring. He runs in after her and finally makes her bite his shiny metal dick! She staggers out the corner, being crotched chopped for extra humliation. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Mister Dick shoves her back into the corner, and then follows up with another groin assisted body splash. MISTER DICK How you like that big anaconda in your mouth? Been a long time since you had that flavor. Mister Dick scoops Krista onto his shoulders and drops her face first across the top turnbuckle. She stumbles backwards, dizzied from the attack as MD puts himself off the ropes. As he nears Krista he raises his boot and strikes her down with a Stiff Kick! The audience is in distress and watches in horror as a leg drop lacerates their girl’s neck. MD then covers her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista gets her shoulder off the mat. As a result the audience can take a much-needed sigh of relief. MISTER DICK Jackhammer! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Could this be it! Could this be it for the dreams of an entire city? Mister Dick picks Krista up and stuffs her inside a front facelock. He hooks onto her mini skirt and then lifts her into the air in set up for the Jackhammer. But Krista furiously knees him in the head, and wins her freedom. MD shakes off the negative effects of her knees and charges at her. But Krista leaps at him and nails him with the KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience erupts with gargantuan cheers. They rise to their feet and ready themselves to celebrate a hometeam victory with the ensuing pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! MISTER DICK KICKSOUT! COLE That is unbelievable! Although deeply annoyed with the kickout, Krista finds it within herself to soldier on. She bounces off the ropes and come back to a KIDology from the champion! COLE Oh my~! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Los Angeles spews venom at Mister Dick, who rolls onto his stomach with labored breaths. After composing himself and regaining his energy, he hooks onto Krista’s bare legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista shoots her shoulder off the canvas! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COACH She kicked out of her own finisher! Mister Dick runs his hands through his platinum blond hair, and mutters a few obscenities of his own. He picks Krista off the canvas and pounds her in the jaw with a right jab. Krista returns fire with a pair of closed fists. MISTER DICK Now why in the hell don’t she get no warning about closed fists? KRISTA Because I have gigantic breasts. Not quite satisfied with that answer, MD whips Krista into the ropes. He makes the mistake of lowering his head, which permits Krista to nail him with a springboard DDT! MD’s head is planted into the canvas, and the audience is thrilled with the sight. However, their pleasure is dampened when The Cocky Prick staggers to his feet. Frustrated with his easy rise, Krista tags him with a pair of kicks to his knees, before attempting an Irish Whip. However, The Cocky Prick reverses the hold and its Krista that’s sent into the ropes. She comes flying back at top speed, nailing MD in the head with a spinning wheel kick! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans bleat as their hometown girl gives them an elegant bow. Mister Dick gets to his feet under his own power. But, Krista’s well insured legs wrap around his neck and wheel him over with a hurricanrana! He quickly comes back upright, only to be thrown back down with a second hurricanrana. COLE Krista’s providing double trouble to the Human Hard On! Krista runs to the ropes, timing her return so that she may come back and strike down the champion with a Hebrew Hammer. But The Cocky Prick strikes first and strikes hard with a cowboy boot to her stomach. He grabs her inside a front facelock and within seconds she’s being lifted into the sky for a Jackhammer. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” A near crisis is adverted when Krista slithers through MD’s hold, and comes down on her high heels. She takes a deep and relieved breath over her escape. But any excitement she may have felt is quickly washed away when MD traps her inside the Roughrider! The fans immediately throw out jeers and pleas for Krista not to submit. COLE Will Mister Dick submit Krista? Will he make history here in front of Krista’s friends and family? Agony forces cries from Krista’s mouth, as she’s forced to fight the pain’s urging to submit. With every fiber of her being, she inches closer and closer to the ropes. With one desperate lunge she’s able to find salvation through a rope break. MISTER DICK Bullshit! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant as MD angrily kicks Krista to the outside. She lands in front of her mother, who regards her with pity. Ignoring the hurtful stare of her mother, Krista comes back upright. She staggers around the ring with a sneering MD stalking her path. Mister Dick grabs onto her golden hair and slams her face first into the blue ring steps. He then adds insult to injury by pretending to hump her ass! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Everyman’s dream. Mister Dick grabs Krista and drapes her vertically beneath the ring ropes and the apron. He then backs up to the corner of the ring, and surges forward to strike her in the side of the skull with a Stiff Kick! Krista whimpers in agony, and even her mother must wince at the beating her eldest daughter has suffered. COACH Even Genevieve knows that one hurt. Mister Dick climbs onto the ring apron, taunting Krista with cruel crotch chops. Next he takes to the air with a leg drop, expecting to come down on Krista’s neck. But Miss California rolls back into the ring, and the world champion bounces off the ring apron to the outside mats. COLE And Mister Dick just wasting too much time taunting Krista. COACH But that’s who he is, Mikey, he’s a showboat just like she is. More annoyed than hurt, Mister Dick looks to climb back into the ring to enact revenge on his challenger. But Krista runs forward and plants a dropkick into his muscled chest that throws him backwards. While MD tries to cope with the sudden pain in his upper body, Krista works her way to the top rope. She wiggles her ass to the delight of the sold out audience and then flies backwards with a moonsault press. But the Texas A&M alum steps out the way and Krista suffers a horrible crash into the ring mats. Genevieve watches on, trying to suppress her concern for her oldest daughter. COACH Now its Krista who wasted time! Wasted time with that ass, that sweet glorious ass. MD leans against the ring apron, smiling at the carnage his simple evasion has wrought. Krista writhes on the mat in pain as all of Los Angeles shows deep concern for her health. Buzzlefoxer exits the squared circle in order to check on Krista’s dire condition. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” MD rolls into the ring, and points at Genevieve as if to say the end is near. She reacts with polite if timid applause as MD runs the ropes. When he nears the edge of the ring, he leaps at Krista with a plancha as she begins to stand. But now its MD’s turn to endure a brutal crash as Krista slides to the right! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans celebrate MD’s destruction, not notcing that referee Clem Buzzlefoxer was taken out as well. COLE The world champion paid the ultimate price! Krista is bone weary and tired, and as such can’t capitalize on Mister Dick’s high risk failure. Mister Dick is grounded and broken, barely able to move a single muscle. COLE Both challenger and champion are down. And what is this? Leon Rodez, with Money In The Bank briefcase in hand, stands up, staring darkly at the carnage. Purpose fills his eyes as he begins to walk to the scene of the wreckage. COACH You don’t think he’s gonna cash in his Money In The Bank contract right now? Do you? The fans jeer and boo, knowing full well Leon’s plan. Leon couldn’t care less about their qualms and continues his trek. But suddenly from the backstage area comes Tim Cash tugging along referee Charles Robinson. Realizing his opportunity is all but lost, a downtrodden Leon Rodez sinks back into his seat. Morgan attempts to comfort him, but has her hand roughly brushed away. COLE Thank god for Tim Cash! The capacity crowd rallies behind their heroine, trying to will her to her feet. Their cheers and encouragement seem to perform their task admirably, as Krista uses the ring apron to slowly come upright. Tim Cash applauds her efforts. COACH Why is this idiot still out here? COLE Probably to make sure Leon Rodez doesn’t try any funny business. Krista slogs her way back into the ring, hair hanging in front of her teary eyes. Seeing MD strewn about the canvas with no signs of movement, Robinson begins his count. ONE! TWO! THREE! The audience boos, knowing full well Krista can’t win the title on a count out. Trapped on her knees, Kritsta tugs at Robinson’s legs and begs him to end his count. FOUR! On the outside a concerned Genevieve works to nurse her lover back to health. She helps him upright, his worn body sagging against hers. COACH She thinks she’s helping him, but a countout is the best way to go. He takes the loss but he retains the title. Acting only on instinct, Mister Dick follows Genevieve’s advice and rolls into the squared circle. Krista flashes a wide and delighted smile as the broken body of Mister Dick fully comes into the ring. The fans join in her glee as she rises to her feet and begins summoning the KIDology. COLE Could this be the end of Mister Dick’s world title reign? Will it end in Los Angeles, California, the hometown of his opponent Krista Isadora Duncan. The second Mister Dick rises, Krista leaps at him for her finisher. But, The Human Hard On shoves her off and she lands backwards on her feet. He pounces upon her with a front facelock, and then slams her to the canvas with the Jackhammer! COACH Yes! Genevieve watches with a mixture of pity and hope as the world champion hooks her daughter’s leg for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! NO! KICKOUT! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the audience comes to their feet and chants. Mister Dick fumes and rants over Krista’s will and resiliency, pounding his fists against the canvas. COLE I’ve never seen a more vicious Jackhammer than the one Jock Mulligan just hit Krista with. Krista is brought off the canvas by hair flowing blond hair. However, she stuns MD with a sudden KIDology! COLE Oh! Oh my! Krista lies on the canvas stricken with fatigue and depleted of almost all energy. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Despite the draining toll movement takes, Krista manages to drape her arm across MD’s chest. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! MISTER DICK KICKSOUT! The audience can’t believe what they’ve seen and douse the arena with heated boos. On the outside, Genevieve’s heart races from the excitement of the contest. COLE What’s going through the mind of these superstars? Krista goes to pick MD off the canvas, and gets slugged in the jaw for her troubles. MD snatches her into a full nelson in set up for a Pure Penetration. But first he grinds his crotch into her rear end. This delay causes trouble for him, as Krista rolls through the hold! But MD keeps the full nelson applied even through the roll through! He quickly raises Krista to her feet and smashes her into the canvas with the Pure Penetration! Genevieve jumps back, surprised at the impact Krista was dropped with. COACH A counter into a counter! Beautiful! Mister Dick grabs onto Krista’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the audience comes back to their feet with mammoth cheers. Frustration is spelled along MD’s face as he watches Krista with complete and utter hatred. COLE What more can Mister Dick do to stop Krista? Everything he’s done has been thwarted. Keenly aware of Cole’s point, Mister Dick decides to vary his arsenal with a rare top rope move. He heads to the height of the ring, and steadies his cowboy boots on the post. From there he flies forward with a leg drop….that completely misses as Krista rolls out the way! COLE Oh my! Both competitors lie damaged, seemingly beyond repair as Genevieve watches with apparent worry. Yet most of her glances turn towards her wounded daughter. COLE Tim Cash still out here, in what I can only guess is his way of making sure Leon Rodez doesn’t interfere with this great mainevent contest. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista and MD begin bringing their aching bones upright, each using the rope to move. They stare at each other with intense disdain, challenging the other to take the first move. Krista takes the bait and darts at MD. He steps out the way and sends her over the ropes. Turning away to rest for the moment, he fails to see her skin the cat back into the ring. Unfortunately for her he does manage to regain the upperhand by clubbing her in the back with a forearm. She’s forced into another front facelock, and struck with a devastating Jackhammer! Genevieve bites her nails, surprised over the ferocity of Jock’s attack. Ignoring her fears, MD hooks onto Krista’s legs for a fall… ONE! TWO! THREE! Krista kicksout, sending out a gigantic pop from the audience! COLE You couldn’t have written a movie any better here in Hollywood! MD’s eyes fill with the very real fear that he may not be able to defeat Krista. He rapidly shakes his head, trying to put such notions out his mind. Meanwhile, Krista’s pained expression flusters her mother. COLE I don’t think Genevieve realized what Mister Dick would have to do to beat Krista. And now she’s seeing that he literally has to beat up her eldest child. Mister Dick rips off his chaps and throws them to the ground as a look of stern finality spreads across his face. COACH He means business, Mikey! Mister Dick grabs Krista and sets her up for another Jackhammer! However the deadly finisher will go uncompleted as Krista manages to counter with a DDT! Both competitors now lie on the mat, their bodies pounded by the exhausting toll this match has taken on them. The referee begins his count as Genevieve looks on with lip bit in anxiety. ONE! TWO! THREE! Krista crawls to the corner, her body feeling like it weighs over a ton. She wills her body upright as the fans begin their buzz anew. Their noise grows even louder as Krista slowly elevates herself onto the top rope. She then wows her loyal admirers with a shooting star press that connects perfectly with MD’s chest! The fans let out a huge pop in response over the high risk attack. While MD hacks and wheezes, Krista uses the ropes to get vertical. She makes eye contact with her mother, preferring to turn a pleading gaze on her rather than a hostile one. Her eyes then turn to Mister Dick who is making an unsteady rise. Krista runs at him and leaps into his chest for a crowd thrilling KIDology! As soon as he hits the canvas, MD is pinned by his challenger… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO! KICKOUT! “THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE! THAT WAS THREE!” Krista buries her head in her hands and yells in total frustration. COACH You rarely see Krista get upset or frustrated during a match, but this is unprecedented territory we’re crossing into. Krista exercises her frustrations and anger by slashing Mister Dick across the chest with a knife edge chop. Genevieve winces as MD comes back with a right hook to her jaw. COACH I don’t think Genevieve can stand to watch her own kid get beat on like this. Krista returns fire with a leg kick, but MD merely comes back to stagger her with another right hook. Krista brushes the pain aside and smacks MD’s chest with a vicious chop. But as harsh as that move was it pales in comparison to the big boot The Cocky Prick decks her with. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The audience hisses, afraid they might be seeing the start of Krista’s downfall. Mister Dick quickly tightens Krista into a front facelock, and brings her up into the air for the Jackhammer! But Krista fights furiously to be free, and wins out over her Texan foe with knees to the skull. He releases her and Krista makes him pay with kicks to the shins from her high heels. But MD shoves her and takes a moment to stifle the pain in his legs. He then surges towards the blond beauty. But she clamps down on his neck and hits him with the Blonds Never Pay a Cover (side effect)! An entire city explodes with glee, “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista positions herself at MD’s side and the audience rises to their feet, fully aware of the magnificent pleasure that’s soon to come. Krista doesn’t disappoint, bouncing a her beautiful honey buns in a sight that’s altogether tantalizing. They jiggle and shake to the delight of thousands as Krista works her moneymaker. She then flips backwards only for MD to move out the way! COLE Oh no! Krista is grabbed into another front facelock and brought into the air for the Jackhammer! On the outside Genevieve seems torn, not wanting her daughter to suffer such a deadly move. COACH Here it comes! But Krista slithers her way through MD’s bonds, coming down on her feet. She shoves The Human Hard On backwards into the ropes. But he returns with rage in his step as his leg is lifted into a Stiff Kick! Krista catches onto his foot and throws it back down to the canvas. This throws MD off balance and leaves him defenseless. For that reason and that reason alone he’s easily victimized by the KIDology! The crowd comes out with fantastic cheers, as if they’ve just seen god himself. What they may have seen is the end of this match as Krista says a little prayer and hooks onto MD’s legs for a crucial pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! There’s no last minute kickout from Mister Dick, no sudden run in from Malaysia. All there is is a torrent of cheers that rolls down from the stands like a tidal wave that engulfs a breathless Krista. COLE Yes! Yes! Yes! Krista throws her head back and smiles that beauty pageant worthy smile of hers as she lets the moment completely consume her. Raining down on her is Laker gold and purple confetti as the audience continues to celebrate as if The Lakers themselves once again claimed NBA championship gold. Elsewhere a despondent Leon Rodez gathers Morgan and ushers her away from ringside. COLE Krista Isadora Duncan is once again on top of the world! Genevieve, with blank and cold expression, snatches the world from the referee. He protests in Krista’s name, but his cries go unnoticed by the Duncan family matriarch. While he continues his whine, Genevieve silently moves her way into the ring. Suddenly the worry of a beltshot becomes very real. COLE What’s going on? Krista sees her mother and instantly feels a pang of apprehension. The sight of a possible weapon causes her to jump upright and assume a defensive stance. But such a stance is unwarranted and uneeded. For Genevieve simply gives the title to her eldest daughter and offers her a hug. It’s an offer that needen’t be mulled over by Krista, who dives into her mother’s arms. This earns enthused cheers from the audience, happy to see two of their own getting along once again. Soon the rest of the Duncan clan joins the festivities and they all share a tender group hug.FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts