Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We find our way to Sofa Central, where our announce team wears Angleslam football jerseys and the announce table is draped in a British flag. COLE Folks, welcome to London for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole joined as always by Da Coach Jonathan Coachman. And what a mainevent we have in store for you tonight. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT TEN PERSON TAG MISTER DICK, MALAYSIA, QUIZ, THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS CHICKS OVER DICKS, THE LOVE DOCTORS, BARON WINDELS TONIGHT! “Motherfucker Of The Year” fires up to a strongly negative reaction from the London audience. Entrance doors spread apart and Mister Dick emerges onto the scene, attired in cut off jeans and a white wife beater. At his side are Malaysia Nerdly and Genevieve Duncan. COLE And here comes the champ! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the OAOAST World Champion….MISTER DIIIIICCCCKKKKKKKKK! Mister Dick and his lovely female entourage enter the ring where the world champion is granted a microphone. MISTER DICK Krista Isadora Duncan, I hear you running yer mealy mouth about how yer gonna split my asshole in half? Woman, I find that to be god damn hilarious because what’s gonna happen is I’m gonna bend you over whip out my monstrous meat and tear your ass apart! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MISTER DICK You claim to be a modern super-lesbian, but yer mama told me that weren’t always the case. Nuh-uh! No, no, she told me you used to be a stone cold freak in the bed, sneaking guys home every schoolnight for a quickie. You probably taken more dick than a gas station glory hole! COLE This is uncalled for. MISTER DICK So instead of fightin’ and brawlin’ what we need to be doin’ is lovin’ and screwin’, because my 12 inches can give you more than Alix’s fingers ever could. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MISTER DICK But I take it that ain’t gonna happen. You ain’t like your mother, yer too damn stubborn and stupid to see what Mister Dick’s fast action pumper can do for you. It feels your mother up pretty damn good, and she seems to love it, ain’t that right? Genevieve smiles and nods. MISTER DICK Angleslam is comin’ up in a just a few days. Some of ya’ll in the OAOAST Galaxy think that Krista is gonna put an end to my reign as the champ. I’m here to tell ya’ll that if ya think that yer as stupid as a farmer that lets a fox into the henhouse! Ain’t nobody stoppin’ Mister Dick’s championship run, especially not some fake titted Hollywood dumpster slut like Krista. Ya’ll say she’s on the A list? I say I’m gonna put her on a list of my own. My shit list. And what my shit list is, is a list of all the folks who are gonna get a metaphorical Cleveland steamer from ol Mister Dick. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” MISTER DICK It’s a list of all the fools and morons that are too damn stupid to realize crossing me is a bad idea. And ya know what happens to these morons on the shit list? I stomp em into the dirt! That’s exactly what’s gonna happen to Krista at Angleslam, I’m gonna stomp her into the dirt. Because I ain’t playin’. I took her mother away from her, I’ve torn her family apart, and I’m gonna take her title dreams away from her. COLE The champ is very confident heading into Angleslam live from the Staples Center this Sunday on pay per view. MISTER DICK I’ve already beaten Krista once, and it felt damn good, but I made the foolish mistake of not celebratin’ like I should’ve. I never had the victory party I deserved, see. I’m gonna make sure not to repeat my foolishness the second time around. I’m gonna celebrate with all you inbred hillbillies, because I’m that nice a guy. But it ain’t gonna be no common victory party. There ain’t gonna be no champagne, or cigars, or cheese cubes. All there’s gonna be is sex. Wild and hot screwin’ and humpin’. COLE What is he talking about? MISTER DICK Genevieve, Malaysia and myself, The Human Hard On, are gonna have sex right in this very ring the HeldDOWN~! after I stomp Krista’s ass into the dirt! COACH Oh yeah~! COLE I don’t believe he would do that. MISTER DICK And I’ll tell you what else, we’re gonna have right on Krista’s childhood bed. Woman, the same bed yer mama used to put you in, is the same bed I’m gonna put it into yer mama and Malaysia! Chew on that! “Motherfucker Of The Year” fires back up as Genevieve and Malaysia begin stroking Mister Dick’s powerful chest. He smiles a leering smile into the camera while the audience belts him with hatred. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT TEN PERSON TAG MISTER DICK, MALAYSIA, QUIZ, THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS VS CHICKS OVER DICKS, THE LOVE DOCTORS, BARON WINDELS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH Boos ring out across the arena as “Feel Good Drag” replaces Now I’m That Bitch. Sepping onto the entrance stage, wearing a plaid mini skirt and a red fishnet top over a black bra, is the women’s champion Holly. Behind her is Lorelei DeCenzo, looking ravishing as ever in a feathered mini dress. Lorelei shows off her lovely body while Holly snarls at the audience. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall with a televisied time limit of twenty minutes! Now making their way to the ring first from Manhattan Beach, California, she is THE MONEY HONEY LORELEI DECENZZOOOOO, and her partner she is the OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPION, from Sin City, Nevada, she is HOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYY! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” the London fans hiss as Holly and Lorelei parade down entrance ramp. Lorelei’s nose is held firmly in the air, while Holly’s mouth is lowered in the gutter as it spews profanity at the fans. COLE Good friends will become foes this Sunday in the Ejaculation Chamber at Angleslam live from Los Angeles, California, only on pay per view. Lorelei enters the ring in the most booty revealing way possible, whereas Holly dives inside and curses out the referee for no reason whatsoever.Crush Crush CrushThat with out you is how I disappear And live my life alone Forever now And without you is how I disappear And live my life alone forever now They taped over your mouth Scribbled out the truth with their lies You little spies They taped over your mouth Scribbled out the truth with their lies You little spies The chaotic mixup of “This Is How I Disappear” and “CrushCrushCrush” summons out Maggie Nerdly, in a black mini skirt and Paramore t-shirt, and Morgan Nerdly, in navy and white pinstriped booty shorted romper. Maggie fires up the audience with the RAWK hand signal, while Morgan nervously chews on her hair. BUFFER And the opponents, from Edmonton, Alberta, they are MAGGIE NERDLY, MORGAN NERDLY, PAPA NERDLY’S LITTLE GIRLS! Maggie high fives her way down the entrance ramp, while Morgan makes certain to stay squarely in the center so that she can’t be touched. COLE I’m joined at this time by Jade Rodez-Duncan, Melody Nerdly, and Maya Duncan-Blanchard. DING DING DING Maggie starts out the contest for her team facing off against Holly. The perpetually vulgar women’s champion puts forth several cruel taunts at The It Girl. But she’s silenced by a hard slap across the face. MELODY Whoo-doggie! JADE Whoo-doggie? MELODY That’s my war cry in World of Warcraft. Holly tries to fire back with a right hand, but Maggie ducks the attack. She comes up behind Holly and begins assailing her with hard left hands. The attacks back Holly into the ropes, and she’s whipped across the ring. She returns fire with a lariat, but finds Maggie able to duck her attack once again. The popular starlet then reaches backwards and nails Holly with a neckbreaker. COLE Anyone in particular you’re not looking forward to facing in the Ejaculation Chamber? MELODY Lorelei, because her body shape reminds me of Heat Man from Mega Man 2 and I never could get past his stage. Damn you Heat Man! Damn you! Maggie scrapes Holly off the canvas and leads her to the corner where she applies the tag with Morgan. Morgan gets a kind reception from the auidnece, as she nervously enters the ring. She tags her foe with a pair of kicks to the ribs, before backing her into the corner in order to kick her some more. Holly stumbles out the corner, and is thrown down to the canvas with a hiptoss. COLE Holly hasn’t fared to well in the early part of this match. JADE If only it could be that easy at Angleslam. Holly comes to her feet under her own power and is tagged with elbow shots by Morgan. The little Nerdly girl then runs the ropes, expecting to come back and floor Holly with a lariat. But instead she’s the one who’s dropped to the canvas, courtesey of a big combat boot from the Women’s Champion. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the Londoners jeer Holly. HOLLY (beep) you! Holly backs into her corner and applies the tag with her friend Lorelei. The Money Honey gracefully enters the ring, stopping to fluff her hair as she does so. MELODY Heat man, Heat Man, Heat Man, Heat Man, JADE I think she’s going into shock! Lorelei runs forward and tags Morgan with an elbow in the back of the head. She then grabs onto her arm and executes a devastating neckbreaker that leaves Morgan whimpering in pain. COLE E-commercide! MELODY Speaking of e-commerce, I just scored some unopened Big Bossman, Akeem, and Slick toys off Ebay. Lorelei latches onto Morgan’s bare legs and slingshots her into the conrer. Seconds after Morgan collides with the ring posts, Lorelei follows up with a shoulder charge to her lower back. Several more collide with that same spot, completing the Tramp Stamp. COLE Lorelei is a lot more powerful than most competitors in the women’s division. MAYA Have you seen what she eats? Did you see her plate at lunch today? It had enough on it to feed a small Hatian refugee camp! Lorelei executes a backbreaker that throws Morgan out the corner. A pinfall then follows…. ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! JADE That was close. I’d hate to see Lorelei win anything. COLE Well, she’s got an order from Theodore Moneymaker to make certain that Maggie Nerdly is eliminated from the Ejaculation Chamber this Sunday at Angleslam. Lorelei applies the tag to Holly. The ultimate bitch enters the ring with trash talk galore for her downed foe. She then picks her up by the arm, and slaps her across the face. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MELODY You don’t want to piss Morgan off. Trust me, I have the electrical burns to prove it. Holly rears back for another slap, but Morgan blocks it with her forearm! She then dropkicks the women’s champion in the legs, dropping her to her knees. With Holly pained by the attack, Morgan runs to the ropes. She slides across the ring on her knees, and lariats Holly in the face with the Electric Slide. MAYA Shades of your Uncle Leon , Jade. JADE I’ve been trying to forget he’s related to me. Thanks for reminding me. MAYA What are little sisters for if not to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable? Morgan jackknifes Holly for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly rather rudely complains about a fast count. But her qualms are silenced when Morgan’ s platform heels begin stomping her in the head. Morgan then picks Holly up, and guides her onto her shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry position. The crowd lets out a large pop, expecting to see the Shock and Awe. But they’re sorely disappointed as Holly slithers out the hold. COLE A narrow escape for the Women’s Champion. MELODY Soon to be former Women’s Champion if this Jedi Warrior has anything to do with it. Holly gives Morgan a one-finger salute and then stabs her in the gut with a combat boot. She runs the ropes, bouncing back with a lariat. But Morgan leaps onto her shoulders and wheels her over with a hurricanrana! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Holly hurriedly scrambles to her feet, only to be taken off him with a dropkick by the former Women’s champion. MAYA Everyone out here is a current or former women’s champion except you Melody. MELODY Thanks for reminding me! MAYA Like I said awkward reminders are my specialty. Morgan makes her way to the corner and brings Maggie back into the contest. The It Girl pumps up the sold out audience before running across the ring towards Holly. She meets with a forearm smash, but blocks it with her own forearm. Next she levels Holly with a roundhouse kick! COLE Don’t Taze Me Bro! MELODY Geeky move names are my domain. Mine! Maggie makes a pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! Lorelei breaks up the pinfall with a boot to Maggie’s head. This does not sit well with the audience, who boo Lorelei as she fluffs her hair on her way back to the corner. Maggie is equally annoyed and gets up to let Lorelei have it. But, Holly clobbers her from behind! COLE Holly from out of nowhere! MAYA Not really, she was only like ten inches behind Maggie. MELODY Leave it to a Duncan to break kayfabe. Holly executes a side Russian leg sweep and then floats over for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Holly barks at the referee to count faster and then goes for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Again, Holly attempts a pin… ONE! TWO! And again Maggie kicksout! Frustrated beyond all belief, Holly retreats to her corner and tags in Lorelei. The two women discuss a bit of strategy before clamping down on Maggie’s head with a double front facelock. They then fall backwards with a double vertical suplex. Lorelei makes a cover as Holly exits the ring… ONE! TWO! Maggie throws her shoulder off the canvas. In response to this kickout, Lorelei batters her with stomps. She then digs a grave next to Maggie, before dropping an elbow onto her neck. COLE Maggie’s in bad shape right now. JADE Don’t count her out, Michael. She can pull through. Lorelei traps Maggie inside an arm lock. Maggie immediately whimpers in agony, the hold’s ill effects taking quick shape. “LET’S GO MAGGIE! LET’S GO MAGGIE! LET’S GO MAGGIE!” MAYA Why aren’t they chanting lets go Maya? JADE You aren’t even wrestling! MAYA Its nice to feel loved. Maggie struggles against the hold, doing her best to win her freedom. COLE Melody, how would you fight out this arm submission? MELODY Press any button rapidly. COLE Maggie eventually finds her way to her feet and begins stomping on Lorelei’s heels. This attack, though simple, works wonders and Maggie is able to make a much-needed escape. COLE She got out! JADE Told you. Annoyance spread across her face, Lorelei throws a lariat at Maggie. But the It Girl catches hold of her arm and nails her with the Deodorator! Lorelei falls over to the canvas, clutching her now sore arm. JADE Maggie ought to make a tag to Morgan. Maggie attempts to do just that, crawling towards her corner. But Lorelei’s hands latch onto her tennis shoe. The Money Honey attempts to drag her back to the center of the ring. However, Maggie fights to her feet, and kicks Lorelei in the chest! The Money Honey falls backwards and Maggie is able to dive forward to apply the tag with Morgan. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” HOLLY (beep) this shit! Holly heads into the ring and darts at Morgan. But she’s back body dropped over onto the canvas! Lorelei attempts the same technique and encounters a similar grizzly fate. COLE Lorelei and Holly can’t be having too good a time right now! MELODY They should just be thankful they’re not being zapped. Holly staggers upright, only be tagged with two kicks to the ribs. A round house to the head follows sending her diving through the second rope. COLE Lightening Kick! MAYA VINTAGE Morgan! COLE Hey, hey, you’re stepping into my turf, little girl. Lorelei rises to her feet and darts at Morgan. The tiniest Nerdly girl is ready for her arrival and sucks her onto her shoulders. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation of the Shock and Awe! COLE Here it comes! MELODY Actually I’d rather get zapped then take that move. But Lorelei slides out Morgan’s clutches. She spins the Tiny Terror around and captures her inside a front facelock. From there she hooks onto Morgan’s leg and dives backwards to nail her with the Cash Flow (Fisherman’s DDT)! JADE Oh no! Lorelei hooks onto Morgan’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie breaks up the count! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The cheers quickly die down however as Holly enters the ring and bashes Maggie in the back with a steel chair! JADE Hey! Are you serious? DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a disqualifaction…PAPA NERDLY’S LITTLE GIRLS! The littlest of the little girls, Morgan, is driven downwards with a Percussion DDT onto the steel chair. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly then leans over the ropes and looks evilly at Jade. HOLLY You’ll get yours next (beep) sucking (beep)! JADE We’ll see. MAYA That’s all you can say? We’ll see? LAME! Watch this. Maya stands atop the announce table and is granted a microphone. MAYA Wassup, heifer! Bring it on! Bring it on! Holly throws a fit inside the ring and tries to get at Maya. But Hebner restrains her as we fade to commercial.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE Ladies and gentlemen, standing by backstage is Josh Matthews. Josh, take it away. We're transported back to the dark depths of the arena, the haunt of the OAOAST's dark minded star, Leon Rodez. Leon stands around scanning his surroundings, with a needy Morgan clung to him but barely acknowledged. MATTHEWS Leon, last week you picked up a slightly questionable win, over Alix Maria Spezia, your former romantic interest. And now, you've asked for an opportunity to speak. What's on your mind? LEON First of all, let's get that straight. You say... "slightly questionable". I have many questions, Josh. Many things that happen in my life, I would describe as "questionable". This... this is cut and dry. There are no "questions". I did beat Alix. There is no why... no how... no when. For all of those questions, there are answers. And that's all there is to it. Reaching down, Leon lifts up his Money In The Bank briefcase, the same briefcase used in that questionable win, as seen by the slight dent in it. LEON With this briefcase, I already slayed one demon from my past. Inside this briefcase... is the contract that will slay another. Any time I want. Any time I choose. Any time at all. I can use this briefcase to ambush... to attack... to assault and injure whoever the World Champion is. And I can use the contract inside to reclaim the World Title that was stolen from me, with this same contract. And when I do... there will be no questions. No-one will ask why or how. And nobody will be able to criticise me. I've been wronged before with this briefcase. Twice. My life was ruined, because of this briefcase. Well... some day soon... I will wrong. I will make someone suffer... suffer the same pain and despair that I suffered on those two occassions. I am going to haunt the back of their mind. And then, I will strike. Weilding the briefcase around, Leon glares down at Josh. LEON Any time I want. It could be a week... a month... or it could be this Sunday. JOSH So... you're saying, you're planning on cashing in your Money In The Bank contract, this Sunday at AngleSlam!? LEON What I'm saying is that this Sunday, Mister Dick and Krista Isadora Duncan are going to have more to worry about than who is sleeping with who's mother. This is a warning. A warning to both of you. This Sunday, when you're out in that ring, beating each other to a pulp... I will be watching. I am going to haunt the backs of your minds during that match. Because... I don't have anything else to concern myself with on Sunday. I've got the whole night off. The whole night to sit... and wait... and ponder. How? When? Where? And trust me... I will have absolutely no problem in making either of you suffer. In this entire locker room full of selfish, back-stabbing, uncaring two-faces people... you two may be the two people that I despise the most. You have taken such glee and such delight in making my life miserable in the past. You have mocked me. Insulted me. Embarrassed and humiliated me. What irony then that at a drop of a hat... at a moment's notice... this Sunday, I can take it all away from either of you. Just as it seems Leon is done speaking and Josh goes to take the microphone away, Leon snatches it back. LEON And Dick... Krista... enjoy those tormenting thoughts while you can. Because when you look around in that arena and see me looking on, waiting, with that briefcase hanging over your head like a guillotine's blade... I won't be just a figment of your imagination anymore. Leon stares evilily into the camera as the scene fades away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE Folks, Terry Taylorr recently conducted an sit down interview with Genevieve Duncan and Mister Dick. Let's take a look.TAPED TUESDAY We go to Mister Dick’s RANCH whereGENEVIEVE DUNCAN andMISTER DICK sit on the back porch with Terry Taylor. TERRY First, Genevieve let me ask, after last week’s incident how are you feeling? GENEVIEVE I’m feeling much better, thank you. MISTER DICK Ain’t no thanks to Krista! I done told that bitch I had everything under control, and she still stuck her nose in it because ol queen of the universe has to be the center of attention for everything. Can’t leave good enough alone, always gotta have the spotlight on her. She didn’t care nothing about her mama. She was just mad the attention was off her. TERRY Genevieve, why tell your daughter you don’t love her? MISTER DICK ‘Cause she’s as rotten as six-month-old milk, Taylor, and lookin’ at her leathery skin makes me wanna puke my brains like drinking that milk would. GENEVIEVE I did it because she gave me no choice. I want to love my eldest daughter, but I can’t because of how she acts. TAYLOR How does she act? MISTER DICK Like a damn diseased whore! GENEVIEVE She acts like she’s lord and empress over me. Honey, she thinks she should have final say over who I’m friends with. If she wants to befriend some hippies that dance in the mud and pray to the earth mother, do I say anything? If she wants to date a Mexican that thinks she can build a working car out of celeral box tops and silly string, do I say anything? TAYLOR You say plenty actually, you hate Alix! GENEVIEVE Honey, I hate Alix because I care about my daughter, and I want the best for her. In turn she should want the best for me. Shouldn’t she? And the best for me is this strapping hunk of man of man to my left. MISTER DICK Damn straight. GENEVIEVE Its none of her business who I chose to associate with. If I want to have a threesome with Ronald McDonald and Ving Rhames that’s my business! Not hers. She has no right to try and tell me who I can and can’t love. TAYLOR But is it worth saying “I don’t love you” to her? MISTER DICK You got cotton in your ears, son? The woman said that bull dyke bitch forced her into it. Ain’t no worth about it when you ain’t being given no choice in the matter. GENEVIEVE Honey, you don’t know what its like to have Krista as a child! TAYLOR Tell me. GENEVIEVE You don't know what its like to have an abusive child, to suffer the anguish and pain of having Krista as a daughter. The endless work "Mommy, I'm hungry, I'm only three years old I can't cook for myself. Mommy, I need clothes I can't go to school naked. Mommy, I need to go to a therapist or I might kill myself." You always have to walk on eggshells wondering when the next waterworks were going to come! Even the pregnancy was terrible. TAYLOR It was? GENEVIEVE Honey, I didn’t know if I was having a baby or a Buick! MISTER DICK This here woman done hates her kids. All of them rat bastards! She hates them because getting knocked up by her pencil dicked husband killed any chance of joy and happiness she ever had. After that it was more and more hungry mouths to feed, everything down the drain. She worked her life to the bone for them and name one of them that ever did a damn thing her. Ya can’t can ya, because they gosh darn don’t do nothing for her. Not nothing! GENEVIEVE Its true! All of them are ungrateful little wretches that suck and suck at me like leeches until I have nothing left to give. Especially Krista. Oh, honey, she’s the worst one. That girl takes and takes and gives nothing back. She even tried to kick me out the family. MISTER DICK Turns out we got some footage of that. TAYLOR We do? MISTER DICK Yep, let’s roll that. We see Malaysia playing the role of Krista, forcing an actress playing the role of Genevieve out the house. "KRISTA" Raggedy ass bitch. "GENEVIEVE" No! Please no! "KRISTA" Throw you in the garbage where I threw my bastard child, Jade! "GENEVIEVE Please! "KRISTA" Stomp you in the face till you bleed to death! I'll beat you with a switch, or something bigger than a switch like firewood, or maybe throw you out a moving car. We cut back to Mister Dick’s ranch. MISTER DICK That's sad, that's academy award nominated sad. I ain't crying 'cause of the story, I'm crying cause I got allergies. TAYLOR That’s what happened? GENEVIEVE More or less. But, do you see my point? Everyday she took a bit more of my sanity, dignity, and my humanity. And that’s why I have to break away from my daughter. For my own sanity. Like I said, she forced me to this. The family split is her fault and her’s alone. TAYLOR Part of you must still love her. She is your eldest daughter. Don’t you have any feelings for her? MISTER DICK Ya know what? This damn interview is over. Hit the bricks, old man, you got a plane to catch. STILL TO COME ALEXANDER THE BRUTAL AND NATHANIEL BLACK VS LANDON MADDIX AND CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 In the otherwise empty lockeroom Alexander The Brutal is seen taping his wrists. A sexily dressed Lorelei DeCenzo interrupts this mundane task. LORELEI Hey there, sexy. ALEXANDER Hello. LORELEI You look sort of tense. ALEXANDER Do I? LORELEI Yeah, you just look so wound up. You could use something. ALEXANDER What would that be? LORELEI A lapdance. ALEXANDER Lorelei flashes Alexander a sultry and teasing smile before reaching up to her back to undo her dress. It falls away and she slowly turns around to reveal tanned globes hidden behind a lacy black bra. Lorelei then sinks down to her knees, and lets the swell of her breasts fall into his lap. Alexander can feel them through the thin fabric of his tights as she gently rubs them against him. She looks up into his dark eyes and offers a tempting smile. Her busy hands tweak and stroke his well muscled chest. Then, arching her back, she slides up her body, her bountiful breasts pressed tight against him the whole way. At the top she stands up between his legs and then coolly bends forward to press his face against her cleavage. LORELEI I’ve been thinking about something. You’re such a brave, powerful man. And I like brave powerful men. I manage one in Christian Wright. I was thinking that perhaps it doesn’t make sense for two men as powerful and as great as you to fight. It would be like George Bush fighting Abraham Lincoln. I think it would be better if you combined forces, became an unstoppable two man army. ALEXANDER Not interested. Stunned, Lorelei cuts short her lapdance. LORELEI But perhaps- ALEXANDER Christian Wright’s win streak is dead. I will be the one to kill it. He stands no chance of defeating me. Give him that message. Alexander slides away from Lorelei and heads out the room. Lorelei is left to look on in anger and frustration with the Greek superstar. ALEXANDER I will break him, and I will destroy him. Because I am Alexander The Brutal and that is what I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins hits as HeldDOWN returns. A rusted cage emerges from the depths, containing the sword weilding Alexander The Brutal. He stares out from his cage at the outside world before being released, heading determinedly for the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Kavala, Greece. Weighing two hundred and fourty five pounds... this is AALLLLEEEXXXAAANNDDEEEEERRRRR THE BBRRRRUUUUUUUUUTTAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE An AngleSlam preview on the way here, with four men set for important matches this Sunday. And I still can't believe that Christian Wright or King Landon would agree to this match, on the eve of AngleSlam, especially with their reluctance over those singles matches. COACH Maybe they didn't have a choice. Alf be on a power trip. As Alexander sets aside his armour and weaponary, "Chelsea Dagger" pumps out into a hometown roar! A roar surpassed when Nathaniel Black steps out on the entrance way! With the lights flickering red, white and blue, Black marches down the aisle with encouraging shouts from the London crowd. BUFFER And his tag team partner. From LONDON, ENGLAND! Weighing two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAAATTHHHHAAAAAANNIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLL... BBLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Black climbs the turnbuckles and punches his fists in the air to another loud cheer. COLE What a welcome home for Nathaniel Black, here in London, England!"Clean shirt, new shoes and I don't know what I am gonna do. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." Not such a warm welcome is given to Christian Wright, as he enters arm in arm with Lorelei DeCenzo. Both Wright and Lorelei have troubled looks on their faces though as they look at Alexander The Brutal from afar. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. First, now residing in Washington D.C. Weighing in at approximately eight and a third BARS OF GOLD! He is accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO and represents THE ENTERPRISE... he is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHHRRRRRRIIIIISSSSSTTIIIIAAAAAAANN... WWWRRRRRRIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, Christian has already tried to get out of his AngleSlam match tonight. And it didn't work. So now, he's having to face up to reality. A very Brutal reality. COACH Seriously, how you gonna turn down Lorelei like that? I don't think there's anything that woman could tell me to do that I'd turn down. Legit. COLE Well, you see, Alexander The Brutal is a man of integrity. And you are a man of desperation. Christian and Lorelei hang around outside, cautious about getting into the ring. Alexander just gives them a cold stare from across the ring. In the meantime, "Parade Of The Charioteers" begins to trumpet through the arena. And with thoughts weighing on his mind also, King Landon heads out with Queen Esther. Not on their thrones though. Instead, King Landon walks Esther out, with a microphone in his hand. BUFFER And his partner. Being led to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER! From The Kingdom of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds... the OAOAST 2010 KING OF THE RING and one-third of the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... KING LLLLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Motioning for some quiet, Landon waits for the music to cease and some of the boos to disperse. KING LANDON I'm afraid I've brought you all here tonight under false pretences. As Landon approaches the ring, he gets halfway up the steps before Black starts to move in. The referee backs Black up, with the King refusing to take another step until he's sure that he's safe. KING LANDON You see, when I agreed to this match, I had an alterior motive. I didn't agree to any match with you at AngleSlam, Nathaniel Black. I had no say in the matter. Luckily, I don't have to worry about that. Because you are not even going to make it to Sunday. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Ignoring the hostile crowd, the King turns his sights to Alexander The Brutal, who is stood in the corner behind Black. KING LANDON You. You, my friend, have potential. I've seen you in action these past couple of weeks and I must say, I am impressed. And that's why I wanted to make this offer, specifically to you. You style yourself as some sort of a modern day gladiator. Well, I am the King here in the OAOAST. And I am willing to put you to the test. Take my ransom. Black, suddenly realises what's going on, glances over his shoulder. And sees the interest in his tag team partner seemingly peak. KING LANDON Take the ransom, right here and right now. Deal with this turncoat for me. Beat him, bloody him, destroy him, right here in his very own hometown and finish the job. And if you do... then I will reward you. For you and you only, I will up the ransom, for one night only, to thirty thousand dollars. And, and, that can be just the start for you. Getting on the King's good side could make you a very rich and very rewarded man here in my Kingdom. All you have to do is finish the job. Keeping a very close eye on Alexander, Black turns around, ready for any kind of a sneak attack from either side. The crowd howl at Alexander not to accept, as he seems to be mulling things over. Until, finally, he looks at King Landon... and shakes his head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE I guess the King didn't learn his lessons from Lorelei. Alexander The Brutal is not for sale! KING LANDON ...hold on one minute. The King, making sure the referee keeps Black and Alexander back, takes Christian Wright aside for a quick chat. Which, unbeknownest to him, the cameras are able to pick up. KING LANDON Listen, lend me fifteen thousand and he'll crack. LORELEI Fifteen thousand!? Are you serious!? KING LANDON Come on, you guys are rolling in money! That's small change to you. I'm having to dip into my parents' trust fund as it is. Thirty is as high as I can go! Look, you lend me fifteen grand, we bump the ransom up to fourty five... he's not going to turn that down. And once he's paid off, I can convince him to call off your match at AngleSlam too. Think about it. After some inaudible conversation between Wright and Lorelei, Landon seems to get the answer he wants and turns back to make his improved offer. CW and Lorelei don't seem too happy about being forced to dip into their wallets though. Then again, when are rich people ever? KING LANDON Alexander! Alexander! Look... I apologise. I realise that offer was paltry. So let me make you a better offer. An offer more befitting of someone like you. Fourty five thousand dollars. All you have to do is destroy this man, rip him to pieces. Injure him. Incapacitate him. Fourty five thousand dollars. Think about that. Alexander doesn't look like he's even thinking about it this time. He stands, arms folded, looking down at the King. Watching on, Christian and Lorelei decide this is the perfect time to sneak out the back and leave while the going is good. COACH Uh oh. COLE I think Christian sees where this is going. And he doesn't like it! KING LANDON Come on, this is fourty five thousand we're talking about. You're never going to get a payday like that again. Who would you rather answer to? These English peasants in this arena... or a King!? Shrugging to himself, Alexander looks down at the King. Who suddenly realises how close Alexander has gotten to him. The King remains hopeful. But not for long, as a hand grabs him by the throat! COACH AGH! Shocked, King Landon hurls his microphone into the air. And his body soon follows, as Alexander picks Landon up and drops to a knee, PLANTING King Landon into the canvas with the Sword Of Damocles!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE I think Alexander The Brutal just made about twenty thousand new friends here in London! Queen Esther looks on in horror as Alexander glances back at Nathaniel, before climbing over the King's prone body and leaving the ring. Amused at what he's just seen, Nathaniel picks up the discarded microphone. He weighs things up, walking around King Landon with a smirk. Black then stops, hands on hips, before starting to help Landon up. Which seems to relieve Queen Esther and fill her with hope in human kindness again. COACH Aw no. COLE Somehow, I don't think Nathaniel is going to dust the King down and straighten up his robe. With Landon held up, Nathaniel grabs the microphone and watches as the relieved King slowly realises who has come to his "aid" and panics. BLACK See yeh Sunday, King Landon! *WHAM!* COLE OH WHAT A CLOTHESLINE~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Turned inside out, the King lays in a tangled heap underneath his royal robe, a sight which causes Queen Esther to come over faint on the outside! The Queen fans herself to stay upright, while Black looks down at Landon with a smirk and places a foot on his back, raising his arms to the London crowd! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Just three more days await, before Nathaniel Black finally gets the match he desires. He's survived the King's ransom, avoided the bounty hunters and will get the King one on one, man to man, in the ring at AngleSlam. And I've got a feeling that five months of frustration are going to come crashing down on the King's head, this Sunday night in Los Angeles! 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Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! A 10 person tag extravaganza scheduled for one fall. Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER OAOAST Galaxy, ARE… YOU… READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! “Motherfucker of the Year” cues and the most awesome team ever assembled scroll ringside led by OAOAST World Champion Mr. Dick. BUFFER Introducing first, accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And their partner… QUUUUIIIIZZZZZZZZ!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Rounding out the team is the ultimate combination of beauty and beat downs… MMMMAAALLLLLLAAAAAYYYYYSIA and the reigning undisputed HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD… MISSSSSTERRRRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Golden pyro shower the heels mid-ring as they pose. COACH What a collection of talent, Cole. The ‘27 Yankees, the ‘72 Dolphins, the ‘96 Bulls and 2000 Lakers have nothing on them.HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT! Family Force Five’s "Love Addict" hits and the ladies go crazy. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Chicago, Illinois, total combine weight 435 pounds, DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The Docs perform a strip tease for a few lucky females in the front row. COLE Hubba Hubba! COACH You mean the girls or the Love Doctors? COLE Of course I mean the girls. *nervous laughter* “Not Afraid” by Eminem cues and BW marches to the ring. BUFFER Their partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds, one-half of Citizen Soldiers, he is the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW and the Docs high-five as “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne hits.Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! COD emerge onstage to a thunderous ovation. BUFFER And their tag team partners! From Los Angeles, California, she is a two time 24/7 champion, a multi time Angle Award winner….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! Her partner also hails from the City of Angels, with a list of accomplishments that include being a member of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the 2009 Wrestler of the Year, a best selling author and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos… KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN! Together they are 6-time World tag team champions, America's Sweethearts... CCHHHIIIICCKKSSS OOOOVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIICCKKSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE You talk about a team. Look at this line-up! COACH A line-up of individual stars, Cole. Where’s the team unity? Krista’s squad came out separate. In a scene right out of the old Superfriends cartoon, both sides charge each other. COLE And here we go! * DINGDINGDING * Fists fly as the teams exchange blows. BW and Malaysia follow Krista and MD’s lead and take their fight to the floor. Inside, the Love Doctors hammer the Heavenly Rockers in the corner while Alix plays Patty Cake with Quiz’s man boobs. COACH The hell? Quiz is equally perplexed. Alix executes a quick drop toehold, then lets Quiz know whose house it is. ALIX Whose house? RUNS HOUSE! Whose house? RUNS HOUSE! COACH Dirty fighter! Dirty Mexican fighter! BW and Malaysia brawl ringside as Krista suplexes MD on the steel ramp way. Thanks to senior official Earl Hebner order is restored and the action resumes inside the ring. COLE I didn’t think we’d ever see that considering how chaotic the match began. Synth reverses a whip but Anderson leapfrogs him on the rebound and delivers a LARIAT. Synth avoids a BIG SPLASH and tags Logan, who charges into an ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Love Doctors tag and perform a double hip toss. STANDING MOONSAULT connects and Pigley covers Logan. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Logan reverses a whip and Synth knees Pigley in the back. Pigley absorbs the blow and levels Synth, only to walk right into a WICKED LEFT HOOK! COACH The Left of Death! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Malaysia tags in and displays her strength with a pair of MILITARY PRESS SLAMS. Pigley escapes a third attempt and delivers a FLATLINER! The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY MD! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" That act doesn’t go over well with the OAOAST Galaxy or Krista, who runs in and decks MD! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Alix receives the tag as Malaysia crawls to the corner and hits the bronco buster. COLE Alix is riding Malaysia like a true cowgirl. What a YouTube Moment this is going to make. COACH Malaysia is used to taking it from behind, but not like this, Cole. Alix takes a moment to celebrate, then eats a BIG BOOT courtesy of Quiz. COACH Alix is going to need a late night trip to the dentist following that one. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY KRISTA! MD rushes in looking for payback and takes another shot from Krista. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Quiz whips Alix into the ropes and gets gunned down by a springboard spear STRAIGHT OUT OF COMPTON! COLE A spectacular move by Alix Maria Spezia. BW tags in and unloads on Quiz, then goes Chris Brown on Malaysia’s ass until MD and Quiz put an end to that. COACH Does Baron Windels have a death warrant? Nobody messes with Malaysia or puts their hands on Mr. Dick’s woman. MD demands the tag and hammers away on BW in the corner. Once MD gets his point across he tags out. Synth becomes the new legal man and quickly finds himself in a world of hurt after BW ducks a back elbow and connects with the boomerang lariat! COLE MySpace Comeback! As if the crowd wasn’t already bananas, the place erupts as Krista receives the tag and cleans house on the entire heel team except MD, who remains on the apron. COLE Mr. Dick wants no part of Krista. COACH Of course not. He’s not the legal man. Krista nails Synth with [/color=red]KIDology and makes the cover. ONE! TWO! NO!! SAVE BY MD! He sets Krista for THE JACKHAMMER, but she floats over and delivers an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP followed by a SUPERKICK! COLE Krista’s Great California Adventure! Krista lays the badmouth on MD, then gets taken down with a swinging neck breaker by Synth. He climbs onto the middle rope and wipes his goggle lenses, but NOBODY’S HOME on THE SKYHOOK ELBOW DROP! COACH That one clanked off the rim, Mikey Cole. Synth clutches his elbow in pain, then gets a taste of LIFE IN THE FAB LINE! But rather than go for the cover Krista positions Synth in the corner for the Love Doctors and their MORPHINE BOMB!!! Pigley covers. ONE! TWO! NO! Pigley moves and Logan accidentally elbows Synth! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Holly shakes her head in disgust on the floor while Logan is double-teamed. The self-proclaimed “Macho MACHO” Mann ducks a double clothesline and lets Quiz turn the Love Docs inside-out with one of his own. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE That man is a freak of science. He’s got muscles in places I didn’t know existed. COACH And wouldn’t you like to exam them? *laughs* Logan tags in and the Heavenly Rockers double back elbow Pigley, then blow SNOT onto him. Following a snap suplex Logan heads up top, spreads his wings and flies, dropping a KNEE into the HEART of Pigley. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ANDERSON! While Anderson’s act keeps his team alive, it results in more pain for his partner as MD delivers a HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN! COLE The OAOAST World Champion Just Being A Dick. COACH Hey, blame Max Anderson. The referee wouldn’t have been distracted had he not interfered. Malaysia tags in and executes a FALLAWAY SLAM. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Quiz receives the tag and peppers Pigley in the corner with back elbows, then delivers a sidewalk slam. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “LET’S GO PIGLEY!” *oink*oink*oink*oink*oink* “LET’S GO PIGLEY!” *oink*oink*oink*oink*oink* “LET’S GO PIGLEY!” *oink*oink*oink*oink*oink* Whipped into the ropes for a clothesline Pigley wraps himself around Quiz’s body, but he’s unable to bring the big man down in his trademark CRUCIFIX BOMB. A dropkick from partner Anderson solves that problem. The count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW tags in and IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! COLE Top rope lariat connects. Will BW go for the cover? No he doesn’t. Instead BW drags Quiz to the heel corner and tags Malaysia, then brings her in the hard way. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD goes after BW but is cut off by Krista. The Heavenly Rockers enter and get met by the Love Doctors. Quiz and Alix hook up and now we have everybody brawling inside. COLE If you think this action is hot, imagine what it’s going to be like this Sunday at Angleslam. We go from a mini-battle royal to a Fatal 4 Way as MD, Krista, BW and Malaysia continue the fight inside while the others take it to the floor. MD shoves Earl Hebner into Krista, causing the senior official’s head to get stuck between her ginormous bosoms. COACH Somehow I doubt Earl is going to DQ Mr. Dick for his actions. As Krista wastes precious time removing Earl’s head from her chest MD grabs his SHAKE WEIGHT and BLASTS BW UPSIDE THE HEAD! COLE Not that darn Shake Weight again. MD tackles Krista as Malaysia covers BW. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the team of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS, QUIZ, MALAYSIA and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… MISSSSSTERRRRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MD and the gang quickly flee the ring and celebrate onstage. The faces tend to BW while Krista burns a hole through MD. COLE What a night it’s going to be this Sunday on pay-per-view!FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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