Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We head straight to Sofa Central COLE Folks, welcome to Halifax, Nova Scotia for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COACH Tick tock tick tock COLE COACH Just the sound of a clock ticking down, my friend. COLE Well, the clock is ticking down to the South Beach Spectacular where Mister Dick will face Baron Windells in an I Quit match for the OAOAST World title! But tonight we've got a Battle Bowl contest, in addition to Sophie facing her old partner Molly Nerdly! “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits and the LDCMG head to the ring flanked by green and gold spotlights. COLE It looks like tonight's action is kicking off with the Lorelei DeCenzo Moneygang! REIGER We’re gonna make this short and sweet because, let’s face it: if you were us would you really want to be around people like you? CMJ shakes his head. COLE What a tasteless remark. COACH The man’s got a point, Cole. REIGER Now then, there seems to be some controversy. Being young and single celebrities, what’s new, right? CMJ Haters gonna hate. REIGER And you won’t find any bigger hates than the OAOAST tag team division. Teams moaning about lack of title shots and the like. I mean, there are people out there who actually believe we’re ducking opponents. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" REIGER CMJ COLE Like the entire OAOAST Galaxy. REIGER Where were all they when COD wouldn’t give us a return match after we lost the tag titles? CMJ I can already see the haters lining up. We’re not gonna be fighting champions like Baron Windels. REIGER Well they’d be wrong. Because in moments some lucky team is gonna have the opportunity of a lifetime as they get a title shot on live TV. LORELEI DECENZO makes her way ringside with a FISH BOWL. REIGER And if by chance we’re defeated, then not only do the winners become tag champions but they’ll also win a private jet compliments of Theodore Moneymaker’s Enterprise so they, too, can live the life of luxury we do. So Lorelei, draw us our first opponents. Lorelei draws a piece of folded paper out of the bowl, then hands it to Reiger. COACH Maggie Nerdly, eat your heart out. REIGER Looks like we’re gonna be tested right out the gate. BRYAN… COLE Danielson?!? REIGER … MICHAELS and RICK… COLE Astley?!? COACH Are you kidding me? COLE Let’s be real. Flair’s not walking through that curtain. REIGER …DOUGLAS! COLE It wasn’t Rick Astley, but we’ve damned sure been Rick Rolled. Bryan Michaels and Rick Douglas are two OAOVW trainees. They don’t stand a chance against the tag team champions. COACH Hence why they have the opportunity of a lifetime, you idiot. Like true sportsmen, CMJ and Reiger shake the young duo’s hands. REIGER Oh, by the way, you only have 100 seconds to beat us in order to collect on both prizes. BRYAN & RICK COLE 100? That isn’t enough time for most guys to remove their entrance attire! Reiger hits Michaels with the MIC while Douglas is nailed with THE HARVARDPLEX! * DINGDINGDING * SPIKE REIGER COUNTER follows and Reiger makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Wipe that egg off your face, Cole. The LDC Moneygang proved you wrong. You said 100 seconds wasn’t enough time to score a pin. COLE I meant to defeat the LDC Moneygang. COACH Already breaking out the excuses, huh? Reiger grabs the mic. REIGER (deep breath) Wow. That was tougher than I expected. Anyway, sorry guys… you’re NOT a winner. But thanks for playing! CMJ and Reiger laugh as they exit with the tag titles draped over their shoulders. COLE They better yuck it up now because some team is going to shut them up eventually. Folks, lets send it outside where we have quite the scene going on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 We’re taken to a street corner where GLOCK LESNAR (Alix dressed in a pink fur coat, baggy jeans, and gold chains) stands withMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD GLOCK LESNAR I heard these niggas around the corner tried to bank you last week. MAYA How they gonna disrespect the game like that? GLOCK LESNAR I heard you wasn’t playing that, though. I heard you filled up a heroin needle full of steak sauce and sold it two these dudes at twice the price, then they overdosed on A1. MAYA That’s how I do, homey. GLOCK LESNAR Aw fo sho, nigga splits, fo sho. MAYA You know what the hardest part about being me is? I got nine months in this wrestling game, and people could come up to me and say “Maya you got nine months on the struggle, give us some advice” but they don’t. And that’s a tragedy. GLOCK LESNAR Yo, I be hearin from niggas around the way, that you be up on that good shit! MAYA Word. GLOCK LESNAR I be hearin you got some bubonic chronic! MAYA Word. GLOCK LESNAR Yo, let a nigga get right! Let a nigga see that shit! MAYA Aight, aight. Homies be callin’ this shit the Jade Rodez-Duncan, or JRD for shizzle.JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN nervously steps onto the scene. GLOCK LESNAR Awww shiiiiiiiiiittttttttt. This here be the product? MAYA Hells yeah, this be the product. This be championship winning product, no diggity, hey ya, hey ya, hey yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Look at them thick arms, perfect for a clothesline. JADE Thick arms? GLOCK LESNAR And them fat fingers, shits be choking a nigga like Latrell Sprewell. JADE Fat fingers? MAYA And that big fat butt! You know if she get knocked to the ground, she got a good landing cushion. JADE Big fat butt? Wait a second! GLOCK LESNAR And that big ol head, shit be lookin’ like a hot air balloon, light a fire and watch that bitch take off. JADE This is stupid! This skit is stupid! I’m just going to cut a promo like a normal person. You hear that? NORMAL PERSON! You could learn from that. Holly, I know you’re the champion, but do you know what I am. I’m a Duncan. I’m a Duncan and you’re a…you don’t even have a last name! How weird is that? How do you live life without a last name? How do you order pizza? How do you pay your taxes, or apply for a credit card? But back to my point I’m a Duncan, and all we do is win, we’re allegeric to losing. The name Duncan has given me a lot of good things. But best of all its given me knowledge. Knowledge to know that I can whup your butt any day of the week and twice at South Beach Spectacular. So, thanks for keeping my belt warm, I’ll be coming for it next week. How was that guys? MAYA Bitch, you ugly. BATTLE BOWL CONTINUES~!TONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 ALF'S BACKSTAGE SEGMENT Returning from break, the melodious vivacity of floods the arena. Clad in black workout pants, and a white tank top with her name etched on the back, Sophie Grey glides through the entrance doors. With a firm business like attitude she heads to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a televised time limit of fifteen minutes! Now making her way to the ring from Marseille, France, she is SOOOOOOPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Sophie is all set to face her former partner Molly Nerdly, and as she promised she’s going to send a message to Morgan Nerdly. A gigantic snake head rests on the entrance stage, spewing forth pillars of fire from its evil eyes. As Slither kicks in, a camera toting Molly Nerdly walks out from the snake’s mouth to large cheers. Attired in a white t-shirt and a checkerboard patterned pair of bell bottoms , Molly films the audience with her footage appearing on the screens across the arena. BUFFER And the opponent! From New York University by way of Edmonton, Alberta, she is THE SHOWGIRL….MOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY NEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY! Molly films her old friend, causing Sophie expression to sour even further. This negative reaction appears on every screen in the arena, and the fans deride her further. DING DING DING “LET’S GO MOLLY! LET’S GO MOLLY!” the fans chant, getting under Sophie’s skin. The French girl shoots disdainful stares at the sold out Philly crowd. Molly gives them the thumbs up, but this is an unwelcome distraction as Sophie rushes across the ring to tackle her to the ground. COLE Sophie getting the early jump on Molly! Molly rolls to her feet, and Sophie charges after her. The French girl is upended by a hip toss that sends Sophie scattering to the corner. Molly prepares to attack her foe, but Sophie pulls the referee in front of her. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” SOPHIE Zut alors! The referee eventually pulls himself away from Sophie, allowing Molly to dart in. But Sophie slides out the way! Molly avoids a collision with the corner by stopping on a dime. She then grabs onto Sophie’s head and throws her to the canvas with a snap mare. As Sophie sits dazed, Molly bounces off the whips. She comes back to execute a whiplash, that leaves Sophie in incredible pain. A pinfall then follows… ONE! TWO! Sophie kicksout! The checkerboarded babe hops to her feet, and quickly brings Sophie up with her. She strikes her in the chest with a series of knife edge chops, before snapping on a front facelock. However she can execute no attack, as Sophie uses her strength to drive her into the corner. There she assails Molly with a shoulder tackles to her bare midsection. After leaving Molly’s stomach sore and bruised, Sophie grabs her chocolate coloured hair and slings her to the center of the ring. She then rushes forward and leaps into the air with an elbow drop. But, Molly slides out the way and Sophie’s elbow smacks against the canvas. Seeing an opportunity, Molly hooks an arm bar on her former friend. COLE Submission hold locked in! Sophie reaches out for the ropes, but finds that they’re far too distant. The pain begins to take hold of her arm, and submission seems an option. But Sophie makes one mighty effort to reach the ropes, and somehow manages to get her fingertips on them. COLE Molly nearly had a submission victory, which is very uncommon in the women’s division. COACH That’s because women suck at wrestling. Known fact. Molly scrapes Sophie off the canvas and shoots her into the ropes. When Sophie returns Molly whips her down to the ground with an armbar takedown! Sophie screams in agony, her arm still suffering the ill effects of the last armbar. The fans root for a submission, but Sophie refuses to allow them that pleasure. However, the pain is excrutiating and Sophie’s choices of escape are limited. “TAP! TAP! TAP!” Sophie uses her slight size advantage to her benefit by forcing her way out the submission. She quickly comes to her feet, where her good arm meets Molly a pair of elbow strikes. Having weakened Molly with those attacks, Sophie bounces off the ropes. But when she returns her arm is further aggrived by an arm drag from the film buff. Molly celebrates by pointing her index finger into the air. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Molly is back to business, pulling Sophie to her feet. She slaps on a front facelock, then grabs onto Sophie’s workout pants. From there she raises Sophie into the air then drops her onto her sore arm. COLE And Molly is having her way with her former best friend. Sophie has changed so much since Josie’s firing. COACH Wouldn’t you be pissed if your free ride got derailed? Sophie’s an innocent victim of Morgan’s rampages. Molly scrapes Sophie off the canvas, then latches onto the side of her waist. She drives Sophie forward, crashing her arm against the turnbuckle posts. Next, she brdiges backwards to throw Sophie overhead with a suplex that lands her on her arm. Sophie hollers in pain, as the audience applauds Molly’s performance. Molly nods her appreciation to the fans while bringing her opponent to her feet. COLE You have to wonder what’s going through Molly’s head having to fight her one time partner and friend. COACH I’ll tell you what’s going through Molly’s head, nothing! Because she’s a Nerdly. COLE Molly is about to get her master’s degree, and you of all people are calling her stupid? Molly throws Sophie into the ropes. The French Girl bounces back with bad arm raised for a lariat. This is a highly unwise attack choice, as Molly grabs onto Sophie’s arm and single arm DDTs her. A pinfall then follows…. ONE! TWO! Sophie throws her shoulder off the canvas. Unfortunately for her, Molly grabs that shoulder and traps her within an armlock. The fans demand that Sophie submit to the hold, but she adamantly refuses their request for a submission. Molly makes that refusal seem all the more unwise by wrenching on Sophie’s arm. SOPHIE Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! COLE What’s the French word for “Aw heck am I in trouble!” Sensing that her former friend isn’t on the verge of submission, Molly breaks her hold with a saddened sigh. She doesn’t quit tormenting Sophie’s arm, however; she stomps on it with her bright white boots. Sophie pulls her arm into her chest, and cries out in anguish. “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” COACH Do these morons realize that neither one of these two is from America? One is French and the other is Canadian. Molly scrapes Sophie off the canvas, only to have her black eyes raked by the French girl. Sophie wastes little time in pouncing on Molly, throwing her to the canvas by her dark brown hair. She then dives atop Molly for a pin… ONE! TWO! Molly manages to kickout the pinfall! This frustrates Sophie, and she takes out her aggravation on Molly with powerful stomps. She then pulls Molly off the canvas, and hurls her into the ropes. As Molly returns Sophie lifts her into the air like she’s about to execute a flap jack, but instead she flings Molly forward and nails her with a spine buster! COLE A devastating attack and a unique variation of the spinebuster. COACH That move nearly put Molly through the ring. Sophie hooks onto Molly’s legs for the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Molly powers out the pinfall attempt. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Sophie presses her knee against Molly’s throat, evilly choking the helpless Nerdly girl. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” Sophie hops off Molly, making sure to inform the referee that was a simple four count. Once she’s assured she hasn’t risked a DQ, Sophie mounts Molly and begins raining down powerful punches. COLE Sophie isn’t the most technically sound performer in the OAOAST but she does hit as hard as any female! Thankfully for her fetching facial features, Molly manages to shove Sophie off of her. Molly then scrambles to her feet, but is seized inside a front facelock. Sophie then falls backwards and spikes her head against the mat with a DDT! Another pinfall then follows… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “LET’S GO MOLLY! LET’S GO MOLLY! LET’S GO MOLLY!” Sophie attempts to apply a rear chinlock, but Molly’s legs fling backward and kick Sophie in the skull! Sophie staggers backwards, giving Molly the time needed to come to her feet. But as she rises, Sophie rushes forward with a lariat. Molly ducks the attack and Sophie falls into the corner. She can barely get her bearings before Molly is nailing her with box office bust! COLE Molly putting that ample chest to use! COACH I can think of some better uses for it. Sophie staggers out the corner, and Molly follows her retreat. She grabs onto her arm and then flies forward to execute a single arm DDT! Molly then crawls back to Sophie and pins her to the canvas! ONE! TWO! Sophie makes the crucial kickout. There’s a stirring amongst the audience as Morgan Nerdly makes her way down to ringside. COACH This loony tune has no reason to be out here! COLE Don’t antagonize her! Molly lures the referee’s attention with her incredible sex appeal…. MOLLY With the referee lusting after Molly, Morgan enters the ring. She’s attacked by Sophie, who pummels her with clubbing forearms.ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COLE Oh my! Morgan slides out the ring, trembling and muttering to herself. After giving her sister a thumbs up, Molly grabs Sophie into a figure four, and jack knifes her. COLE Cutting Room Floor! The referee counts the ensuing pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE DING DING DING! BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…..MOOOOOLLLLLYYYY NEEEERRRRRDDDDDDLLLLLLLYYYYYY! Molly wishes to celebrate with her sister, but Morgan quickly scurries up the ramp. She doesn’t turn a single glance to Molly or Sophie, as she mutters to herself over her actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 TAPED TUESDAY We’re taken to the pristine, ultra modern office of Congressmen Joel Duncan aka Krista’s dad. His daughter is sprawled out on the desk in front of him, in obvious distress. KRISTA But daddy! CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Krista. KRISTA Daddy! CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Krista, get off my desk. KRISTA Not until you listen to me! CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Your mother and I have said sex twenty times on that desk. KRISTA I’m off. CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN I understand that your mother’s friendship with Mister Dick is upsetting to you, but what do you want me to do about it, sweetie? KRISTA I’ll get you a shovel, some duct tape, and a trash bag. You can figure out the rest. Congressman Ducan suppress a chuckle. CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN I can’t kill him, sweetie. KRISTA I know, that’s what repeated bashings from the shovel will accomplish. CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Your mother is allowed to have friends, Krista. I can’t stop her from that. Even if they are half my age, have a full head of hair, and are hung like an Elephant. You must have lesbian friends, does that make Alix mad? KRISTA Fri…fri…fri…ends? Can’t say I’m familiar with the concept. So, you’re okay with this? It doesn’t piss you off? It doesn’t make you want to hire the hitmen, I just know that you know? You were all ready to fight Mister Dick yourself last year when he was messing with me, and now you’ve become some kind of open minded Jewish Ghandi? CONGRESSMAN DUNCAN Krista, I hate Mister Dick, and I hate that your mother is friends with him. I hate it. It’s a betryal to me, to you, and to our entire family. Everyday I wish that he was out of all of our lives. But let me tell you a story. When I first married your mother, before we had cooks and servants, she prepared me Challah, the easiest Jewish food to make. Yet, when I saw it, it looked like shit. But I still had to eat so I did. Next time she made Matzah Balls, and again they looked like shit, and again I ate them. For Rosh Hashanah she made Teiglach and they looked like shit, but I ate it. Every meal she made looked like shit, and I ate every single one. So I figure what a few more pieces of shit on my plate? Krista tosses her head back in frustration. KRISTA Well, I’m not gonna eat shit, not unless…no there’s no punchline to that, I’m just not going to eat shit.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Inside the gorgeous interview lounge superstars sip on drinks and shoot the breeze with one another. But at its forefront is…MAGGIE NERDLY withSIMON SINGLETON andMOLLY NERDLY MAGGIE What up ya’ll its Maggie Nerdly, your It Girl on The Scene, chilling backstage with my sister Molly and Box office Simon Singleton. Si, you’ve got a match at South Beach Spectacular against Christian Wright. If you win, his win streak is dead. What’s going through your mind? SIMON People, a lot of people actually, are praying and hoping that I can defeat my old buddy Christian and end his win streak once and for all. But in the spirit of the American economy being down by 20% I ask that you lower your expectations 20%. MAGGIE Why’s that? SIMON I don’t have a lot of things Christian has. I don’t have this massive win streak built up over a year. Sorry, but I don’t. I also don’t have the backing of a egomanical wacked out of his gord, billionaire. I sort of left that behind. I don’t have moves named after a gimmick I don’t even use anymore. I don’t have tights bought from K-MART’s baragin bin and passed off as Armani. What else don’t I have? Oh yeah, I don’t have a blond haired bulldog chomping at the ankles of my every opponent! So, I guess you could say I lack a lot of things Christian has. But one thing I do have, and that I’ve always had ever since I’ve known him, is to beat that rodent faced ass down! MOLLY To me he seems more like an ass faced rodent. His face just appears more ass than rat. SIMON Hear that Christian? You either look like my rear end, or Mickey Mouse. You’re a real catch for the ladies. And you’re going to be even less desirable to any woman after I leave you black and blue at the South Beach Spectacular. You wanna talk about the ultimate beach party? I’m going to have the time of my life ending your win streak. Count on that. MAGGIE Thanks, Si, Molly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE Thanks, Maggie. Ladies and gentlemen, we are just a week away from the winner take all “I Quit” match between Mr. Dick and Baron Windels for the World Heavyweight Title. Here now is a special look at that rivalry.Clips of the Lone Star Gunslingers in happier times air. BARON The man was like a brother to me.Footage of MD winning the World title is shown. MR. DICK Baron Windels was a stepping stone to bigger and better things.Video of BW lying bloody, battered and beaten at School’s Out, then being cuffed and forced to tap to MD’s Roughrider on a recent edition of HD follows. BARON Never forget. MR. DICK (to Malaysia) Baby, whatcha gonna do in South Beach? MALAYSIA I’m gonna choke that chicken. MR. DICK A “Rocky” style montage set to the tune of "No Easy Way Out" by Robert Tepper airs featuring OAOAST World Champion Baron Windels and Mr. Dick training for their upcoming match at the South Beach Spectacular. We're not indestructible, Baby better get that straight. I think it's unbelievable, How you give into the hands of fate. Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die. I'm not asking for another chance, I just wanna know why.Footage of BW locking on the sleeper and MD the Roughrider air, plus shots of their opponents tapping out during the last verse. (chorus) There's no easy way out, There's no shortcut home. There's no easy way out, Giving in can't be wrong.Clips of MD and Malaysia’s run-ins with Tim Cash and Baron Windels from their brief time together are shown. I don't wanna pacify you, I don't wanna drag you down. But I'm Feeling like a prisoner, Like A Strange in a no-name town. I See all the angry faces, Afraid that could be you and me. Talking about what might have been, Thinking about what it used to be.Tim Cash cheers BW on as he runs up and down stairs inside the AT&T Center. Meanwhile, MD jacks off. No, wait, he's just working out with his Shake Weight! (chorus) There's no easy way out, There's no shortcut home. There's no easy way out, Giving in can't be wrong.Video of MD “popping off” on BW from last year airs, followed by clips of their past battles. Baby Baby we can shed this skin, We can know how we feel inside. Instead of going down an endless road, Not knowing if we're dead or alive. Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die. I'm not asking for another chance, I just wanna know why.We go back to the GAB for our next round of clips as BW applies the sleeper on MD, then to the time MD cuffed BW and placed him in the Roughrider on HD. (chorus) There's no easy way out, There's no shortcut home. There's no easy way out, Giving in, Giving in, can't be wrong.WINNER TAKE ALL I QUIT MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BARON WINDELS © vs. MR. DICK NEXT WEEK THE SOUTH BEACH SPECTACULAR LIVE ON TSM IN THE U.S. AND THE PIT IN CANADABATTLEBOWL CONTINUESNEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 COLE Alright, folks, its time for BattleBowl! At the world famous interview stage are our friends Maggie Nerdly and Josh Matthews. COACH That dweeb Josh Matthews ain’t no friend of mine. We swoop over to Maggie and Josh, who stand next to a giant tumbler… MAGGIE What’s up, OAOAST Galaxy? Maggie Nerdly and J.Math cold kickin it live. JOSH Yes we are, and the superstars of the OAOAST are on pins and needles to determine who’s going to be in this Battle Bowl contest. Maggie, can you draw the first name? MAGGIE Glad to! Maggie spins the tumbler, as a split screen of the faces and the heels in separate locker rooms appears on screen. MAGGIE And the lucky draw is…. Tru’s “Final Ride” summons Reject from the backstage area. COLE Oh my! Wearing his pscychedlic rainbow coloured tights, Reject steps into a sole silver light. At his side, shrouded in the darkness is Melissa Nerdly, who holds his hand firmly within hers. BUFFER The following Battle Bowl contest is scheduled for one fall! Now making his way to the ring, accompanied by Meliss Nerdly, he is from Bronx, New York…..REEEEEEEJJJJJEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCTTTTTTT! There little more than a bombardment of hatred for Reject as he and Melissa mark a path down the entryway. COACH If there’s one man who has to be a favorite to win the battle royal and head to Angleslam as number one contender, its this two time world champion. COLE First he has to advance through this match, and that will depend in large part on his partner. Reject elevates himself onto the top rope, gazing at the audience with an open hostility. Melissa stands at his side, applauding and nodding at his churlish actions. Meanwhile back on the entrance stage, Maggie spins the tumbler once more. MAGGIE And his partner is gonna be…."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." Jeers invade the air as TI’s “Dead and Gone” transforms into “Numb” by Linkin Park. Spearing his way through the entrance doors is the leather pants clad Leon Rodez. Nervously positioned at his side is Morgan Nerdly, who shies behind him. COACH Oh damn! What a team this is! Leon stomps down the entrance ramp, scowl splitting his stubble filled face. Tightly clinched in his hand is the Money In The Bank Briefcase. He comes to a stop in the middle of the asile, gazing at his partner with thinly veiled disgust as the lights alternate between a deep purple and whit static."I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" BUFFER And being accompanied by MORGAN NERDLY... from Grand Rapids, Michigan! Weighing in at two hundred, eighteen pounds... "THE FALLEN IDOL" of the OAOAST... LLLEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ!!!! As Leon climbs his way up the ring steps, Morgan positions herself next to her elder sister. There’s no warm family welcome, as Melissa greets her with a sneering contempt. COACH Imagine if Leon Rodez won the whole thing! Then he’d have two guaranteed world title shots. We head back to Maggie and Josh, as the crowd eagerly anticipates the next entrant…. MAGGIE The opponents are…. Slither fires up its hard pumping alt.rock roar. Though the giant snake head may be absent, the cheers are not as Simon Singleton, attired in orange tights with a snake flowing down the right leg, and Molly Nerdly step onto the orange lit entrance stage. Filmed by Molly, BOSS treks a quick path down the ramp. BUFFER And the opponents! First from, Orange County, California, he is accompanied by Molly Nerdly….BOX OFFICE SIMON SINGLLLLLEEEEEETTTTTOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN! Simon strikes a few poses in front of Molly’s camera, as the film student happily shoots him. Behind him Leon stares with vile intentions, doing his best to keep himself from attacking BOSS. COLE Box Office Simon Singleton has a date with old friend Christian Wright at South Beach Spectacular. But right now his mind has to be focused on Battle Bowl. Let’s go back to Maggie and Josh. JOSH The final competitor is…..drum roll please…. The mellow opening of Collective Soul’s Shine introduces Simon’s partner, Charlie Moss. Although a little sad to not have a Nerdly girl by his side, Moss never the less rushes down the ramp. COLE Is this guy fired up or what! COACH Charlie Moss is known as a great tag wrestler, but if he wins Battle Bowl that will launch his career into the stratosphere to say the least. BUFFER From, Minneapolis, Minnesota, he is a three time tag team champion…CHAAARRRLLLIIIEEEEEE MMMMOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSS! Eager to gain a victory and proceed towards the battle royal, Reject finds it prudent to discuss strategy with Leon Rodez. However, Leon has no such desires and exits the ring without offering Reject a single glance. Reject is left to bark at poor Morgan for no reason whatsoever in order to exercise his frustrations. DING DING DING His bad mood continuing to flourish, Reject turns his anger on Singleton. But unlike meek Morgan, BOSS returns fire with heated insults. One comment stabs at Reject’s pride and the New York native swings a fist at Simon. But BOSS blocks it and begins hammering his opponent with left jabs. After the third one lands, Singleton attempts an irish whip. But Reject reverses and and the Orange County native is thrown into the ropes. He bounces back to face a lariat, but swiftly ducks beneath it. He bounces back at Reject and takes down the former world champion with a leaping elbow strike. As the audience applauds his performance, Singleton offers Reject some applause of his own. COACH Since when did this guy become such a showboat? He used to be all serious and normal and now he’s just out there having fun. Stay classy, Simon. Singleton heads to the ropes, but as he returns Reject rolls to his knees and strikes him in the stomach with a punch! As Singleton doubles over in anguish, Reject runs the ropes. But as he returns towards BOSS, the former tag champ springs to life with a beautiful dropkick! Pleased with himself, Simon turns to the camera and gives a thumbs up and a cheesy smile. “SIMON! SIMON! SIMON!” As the audience continues to sing his praises and his name, Singleton lifts Reject up by his spikey blond hair. He grabs onto his arm, and then twists it around into an arm wrench. From there he drags Reject forward and smashes his skull with a short arm elbow strike. Pained, Reject topples to the canvas. COLE It hasn’t been the best of starts for Reject. Coach, what do you think he needs to do to win this match? COACH The hell are you asking me for? COLE You’re the color analyst! COACH Nigga, please, I’m just here to see some Nerdly girl titties. Simon rushes to the ropes, and when they spew him back to Reject he nails his foe with a senton! He then leans backwards and hooks Reject’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! Reject lifts his shoulder off the mat, drawing boos from the OAOAST Galaxy. COLE It might be a good idea for Reject to seek a tag with Rodez. COACH How you, a sixty pound bitch boy, gonna tell a two time world champion his business? Singleton grabs onto Reject’s psychedlic tights and begins guiding him off the canvas. But Reject stuns him with a rake of the eyes! With Singleton blinded, Reject is able to nail him with a series of knife edge chops that back Singleton into his corner. Unaware to Reject, Moss makes the tag with his partner. Completley oblivious, Reject attempts an irish whip. Its reversed however, throwing Reject into the ropes. Reject bounces back to meet with a lariat, but avoids the collision by ducking bellow Simon’s arm. What he can’t avoid is the springboard cross body block Moss wipes him out with. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Charlie Moss isn’t a snowboarder but he sure got big air! Referee Earl Hebner counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Reject pushes his way out the pinfall. He lurches upwards, desperate to catch his breath. But he can get no recovery period, as Moss brings him upright and strikes him with a pair of elbows. He then swings behind Reject, and snags him inside a waistlock. Reject is then brought off the mat courtesey of an amateur style takedown. Moss switches to Reject’s front and hooks on a front body lock! Reject smashes his fist in the mat in annoyance as Moss tightens the hold. “MAKE HIM TAP! MAKE HIM TAP! MAKE HIM TAP!” Far from being able to submit Reject, Moss finds himself in serious peril as Reject begins standing up, turning Moss upside down behind his body. COACH That it is some serious strength by Reject! COLE It is amazing, that’s for certain. But that impressive strength does little to save Reject from being sucked into a rollup! ONE! TWO! Reject rolls himself out the pinning situation, and quickly comes to his feet. There he finds Moss’ arms trapped around his body, and within moments he’s flung to the ground with a side belly to belly suplex. Moss then grabs onto Reject’s legs and executes a jackhammer style pinfall… ONE! TWO! Reject shoves the three time tag team champion away. He rolls to his feet, but is immediately struck with an elbow uppercut! Reject staggers backwards, and Moss follows him, seizing on his arm and attempting an Irish whip. But Reject reverses the hold, and Moss is sent into the ropes. When he returns he’s struck in the stomach with a kitchen sink. COLE Moss took a HARD shot from Reject. And I think if any two men would be the favorites to win Battle Bowl it would be Leon Rodez and Reject. COACH Absolutley right, Mikey, but don’t count out Mister Moneymaker or Landon Maddix. Reject tags his partner into the contest. Rodez saunters into the ring, to enthuastic applause from Morgan. But an annoyed glance shuts her up, and puts a sad expression on her face. “LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS! LEON SUCKS!” Leon stomps Moss in his sore stomach, bringing out grunts of pain from the amateur superstar. Rodez then drops an elbow across his stomach, and attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Moss gets his shoulder off the canvas. He’s then brought to his feet, and struc in the stomach with a two step kick that drops him to the knee. Rodez quickly takes off to the ropes, and when he approaches Moss, he slides across the ring and strikes him in the face with a lariat! Morgan cheers for her man, but is quickly hushed by another stern glare. COLE Why can’t he at least let her try to be happy? Rodez turns his attention back to a grounded Moss, only to find Moss’ legs reach up and grab him with a hurricanrana! COACH Even I gotta admit, that was kind of cool. Moss is more than just a mat wrestler, the dude can move also. LEON (to Morgan) Do you see what you’ve done? MORGAN I’m sorry! Leon’s preoccupation with Morgan costs him once more, as Moss is able to lift him up horizontally by the waist and swing him over to the ground. COLE Great amateur style takedown! A pinfall then follows… ONE! TWO! Leon makes the crucial kickout, bringing forth boos from the audience. As the fans continue their jeering, Moss brings the Fallen Idol off the canvas. He hooks on a front neck chancery and wheels backwards to plant Leon into the canvas. Morgan panics on the outside, watching in fear as Moss brings Simon into the contest. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Simon Singleton will be meeting up with Christian Wright at the South Beach Spectacular to lay to rest Wright’s win streak once and for all. Moss whips his own partner into the ropes. Simon bounces back and when he reaches Moss, he’s flapjacked into the air and brought down across Leon’s stomach. On the ring apron Reject loudly complains about the double teaming. Singleton responds by playing the world’s smallest Violin. Incensed by this mocking, Reject demands to be tagged into the contest so that he may deal with Simon personally. Bruised from the double team, Leon is more than happy to grant that request. He rolls onto the ring apron, and finds himself immediately attended to by Morgan. Rather than provided him with some comfort, this bothers Leon and she orders her away. COACH Ain’t nobody trynna have this psycho bitch all up on them. She probably don’t even shower regularly. COLE What?! How do you know? COACH I just do. Reject enters the ring, ready to deliver heavy damage to Simon. But BOSS destroys those plans when he begins slamming elbows into Reject’s face. Desperate to avoid a mangling of his face, Reject shoves the official into BOSS. COLE What a coward! That’s grounds for a disqualifaction. Reject strikes with the Eulogy! No! Simon shoves him away! Singleton then rushes at Reject only to be nailed with the Eulogy! The crowd reacts with dread, knowing full well that this match is reached its disappointing conclusion. Or it would be if referee Charles Robinson would count Reject’s pin. Angered over having been shoved, Robinson enacts a measure of revenge by refusing to give Reject a fair count. COACH This dude be trippin. You can’t pick and chose when to count a pinfall. Imagine if during the playoffs, the referees just said they weren’t going to call any fouls on the Lakers. David Stern would’ve loved that! Unable to get through to Robinson, a very annoyed Reject is forced to pull Simon to his feet. He batters him with several punches to the jaw, before applying the tag with Rodez. As Leon enters the ring, Reject slaps on a front facelock to neutralize Simon Singleton. This allows The Grand Rapids native to stomp BOSS in the stomach with his hard purple boots. Singleton staggers away, finding his way into a neutral corner. He’s trapped there by Rodez who hammers him back elbows. “SIMON! SIMON! SIMON!” the fans chant, led on by Molly. COACH We need less chanting and more flashing from that girl. Leon grabs Simon’s black hair and guides him to the center of the ring. He latches onto his wrist and attempts an Irish whip. However, Singleton reverses it to throw Rodez into the ropes. Leon comes back with forearms raised, but Simon drops to his knees and strikes his foe in the gut. This doubles Leon over and permits Simon to capture him inside a front facelock. He then grabs onto Leon’s tights, and flings him backwards with a snap suplex. He then takes hold of Leon’s jet black hair and rips him off the canvas. But before he can execute any attack, Leon delivers a blatant low blow! The attack earns cries of concern from Molly and a warning from the referee, but the damage has been done. COLE You can always trust Leon Rodez to take the lowest road possible in any situation. COACH This Battle Bowl, baby! You gotta win, win, win! Leon shoots a lariat at Singleton! But BOSS ducks the attack! He then reaches behind him to grab onto Leon’s neck. From there he drops down and executes a neckbreaker! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The fans cheers continue to cascade as Singleton dives to make the tag with Charlie Moss. COLE Here comes Charlie Moss! Moss runs across the ring with a lariat aimed straight at Rodez’s head. But The Fallen Idol ducks the attack. Unfortunatley for his team, Reject absorbs the blow in his stead. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans delight in Reject’s pain. Melissa isn’t so pleased, and takes out her frustrations on poor Morgan. COACH Morgan’s getting sonned from all sides tonight, and I for one am glad. Leon is only spared from Moss’ fledgling rampage for seconds. Then he’s trapped inside an underhook. He struggles against the hold, fighting for freedom. But his efforts are wasted as Moss throws him backwards with a beautiful suplex. COLE Moss can beat you with so many holds. He has so many moves in his arsenal. COACH But Leon’s got ring smarts, and he’s got two Nerdly girls to Moss’ and Simon’s one. Moss turns around to deal with Reject and gets nailed with the Eulogy! No! Moss counters into an inverted DDT! Melissa shrieks with rage, purposely doing it right in front of Morgan’s ears. Meanwhile Moss scrapes Reject off the canvas, and strikes him with a stomach crusher! As if that weren’t painful enough, Moss flips him over and executes a back breaker! COLE Double your pain, double your fun! COACH You corny ass bitch. Moss leaps upwards and strikes Leon with a dropkick as the two time world champion begins to stand. Leon doesn’t stay on the mat for long, Moss bringing him back to his feet. Moss executes a standing switch, and captures Rodez into a waistlock. Not giving Leon a chance to fight free, Moss slings him overhead with a high angle German suplex! The referee counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Melissa grabs onto the referee’s foot, distracting him. MORGAN You…you…you shouldn’t cheat like that. MELISSA (mocking Morgan’s stuttering) Shut…shut…shut...up! Moss scrapes Leon off the canvas and guides him to his corner where he makes the tag with Singleton. COLE The teamwork between Moss and Singleton has been great so far. But, I have to admit, Leon and Reject haven’t been at each other’s throats like I thought they would be. Singleton enters the ring and helps Moss lead Rodez to the center. They tag him with a few punches, before ripping his flesh with double knife edge chops. On the outside Morgan looks sick with worry. Her mood isn’t helped any when Simon hits the Blockbuster Hold (fallaway slam into a pin) ONE! TWO! Leon slides himself out the pinning situation. MORGAN Leave him alone! Leave him alone! COLE I don’t understand it but Morgan is genuinely concerned for Leon’s well being. He couldn’t give a gosh darn about her. Simon begins pulling Leon off the mat. But he’s taken for a major shock, as Leon grabs onto the waistband of his orange tights and slings him to the outside! Simon falls against the blue ring mats, and his misery continues when Melissa kicks him in the ribs. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Molly sees fit to deal with her sister’s intrusion. But Melissa escapes and hides behind Morgan. COLE How can you hide behind someone who’s 5’1? COACH Its easy when that person is shooting bolts of electricity at innocent folk. Leon exits the ring to lay his black boots into Simon’s skull. He then picks up BOSS, and angrily chucks him into the steel guardrail. MALE FAN You suck! Go back to Grand Rapids! Leon doesn’t necessarily appreciate these words and lets the fans know about by swating his beer into his face. If that weren’t humiliating enough, Rodez shoves the man to the ground. COLE Hey! COACH Hey what? Now he can text all his friends that he got shoved down by a two time world champion. If he has any friends, and I bet he don’t. Elsewhere things have broken down as Moss and Reject trade blows in the center of the ring. COLE Those two are really going at it! Rodez slams Simon’s face into the steel steps, immediately drawing blood from the Orange County native. Leon would do further damage to his foe, but he notices Moss getting ready for a springboard attack. Thus he wisely grabs onto his leg. With Moss held in place, Reject is easily able to strike with the Eulogy! COACH Ha-ha! Hate it or love it, that move always ends a match. Reject hopes Coach’s comments prove correct, as he drags a limp Moss into the ring for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THRE-MOLLY IS ON THE RING APRON! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing, knowing full well what Molly has in mind. Melissa hasn’t much tolerance for her sister’s flashing and runs over to attack the film student before she can bare her chest to the world. But Molly is aware of her approach, and when she nears Molly takes flight to wipe her out with a cross body block! COLE The 2008 manager of the year, Molly Nerdly is quiet the asset! Meanwhile in the ring, Leon and Reject torment Moss with punches to the midsection. They then lead him to the corner and slam his face into the turnbuckles. Moss drops to his knees and is instantly assaulted by the black boots of Leon Rodez. Far from an innocent bystander, Reject joins in on the torment by running forward and smacking his knee into Moss’ face. He then backs to the opposite corner, while Rodez pulls Moss upright. Once Moss is erect () Reject charges across the ring and swipes his face with a leaping elbow! COLE These two are brutalizing Charlie Moss. COACH All that amateur knowledge don’t help you one lick when things have broke down to a brawl. Reject makes the cover… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The fans are pleased with the kickout, cheering loudly for Moss’ toughness. COLE Its basically become a handicap match at this point, but Moss is still fighting strong. What courage from this superstar! Reject switches places in the ring with Rodez after a quick tag. He scoops Moss off the mat and doubles him up with a knee to the stomach. Rodez then places his leg onto Moss the back of Moss neck and flips upwards. But in mid air Moss catches him and crashes him into the canvas with a powerbomb! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Hurt, and tired, Moss crawls to his corner. Through blurred vision he sees Simon Singleton heading up to the ring apron, and a smile appears on Moss’ face. But behind him Rodez has made a tag with fresh Reject. The New York native runs into the ring, ready to clobber Moss. But Moss dives forward and makes the tag with Singleton! Both Molly and the fans toss up cheers for this pivotal moment in the contest. COLE Hot tag made to Box Office Simon Singleton! Reject grumbles beneath his breath as he moves to attack Simon with a jab. But BOSS blocks it with his forearm and pummels Reject with overhand hooks. He then grabs onto Reject’s arm and sends him into the ropes. Reject bounces back and is flap jacked into the air, coming down on his stomach and screaming in pain! Rodez charges Simon and eats a spinebuster for his troubles! SIMON Simon says…you suck! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Reject comes to his feet, and leaps at Simon for a Eulogy! But Simon shoves him away, and Reject lands within the ropes. He doesn’t stay there for long, as Moss takes both Reject and himself over the cables with a lariat! COLE Out goes Reject! Out goes Moss! Sensing that her one true love is in extreme danger, Morgan enters the ring to protect him from this harm.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt SIMON Easy there, Morgan.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! SIMON Take it easy.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt MOLLY Morgan, you can’t! Its not right! Behind Simon Rodez is to his feet. He frowns heavily, before dashing at BOSS. MOLLY Simon, look out! Simon takes the warning to heart and ducks the oncoming attack, leaving Leon to rush to Morgan. He slams on the breaks, giving her an angered look that speaks to his frustration with her appearance in the ring. Without uttering a single word to her, he grabs her by her skinny arms and throws her into Simon! BOSS catches her, but this leaves him unprotected against the superkick that slams into his jaw! Down goes Simon and Morgan, and the referee counts the resulting fall… ONE! TWO! SIMON KICKSOUT! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” LEON Leon stars off into space, breathing heavy, and scowling. He orders Morgan to get a chair, and the dutiful young lady eagerly does so. But when she returns to the ring, the offical grabs onto the chair and a tug of war ensues between her and Robinson. MOLLY Morgan, you have to let go of the chair! MORGAN No! Morgan finally succeeds in winning the battle with Robinson, but she does with so much force that she flings the chair backwards. The edge of it clips Leon’s eye, sending blood spilling down his cheeks. MORGAN LEON God damn it! The Money In The Bank winner is then bundled up into an inside cradle by Singleton! ONE! TWO! THREE! LEON KICKS OUT! COLE How’d he manage that? The audience can’t believe it and nor can Simon, who holds his hands through his long black hair. COACH Leon uses the superman spear, and this dude must be superman to kickout after being struck in the eye by a chair. The referee tries to restore order, and implores Morgan to leave the ring. Morgan won’t depart until given permission from Leon, however. The Fallen Idol is eager to keep the referee distracted for as long as possible for the simple reason that Christian Wright is trotting down the ramp with a sledge hammer. COLE Oh no! Wright wacks Simon in the back of the head, knocking him out and dropping him to the canvas. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Wasting no time in his escape, Wright dives out the ring where he can watch his evil act pay dividends. Leon pushes Morgan away from the referee, startling the young girl but gaining the ref’s attention. He then pins Simon… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall….REJECT AND LEON RODEZ! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss. COLE A controversial win for Reject and Leon Rodez! Reject escapes a distraught Moss to run to Melissa. Almost hiding behind her, he raises his arms in triumph and smiles over the result. COACH That was just a taste of what Singleton’s gonna get from The God Child at the South Beach Spectacular. I doubt Wright will even have to use a sledgehammer! Leon brushes away the referee, who attempts to check on his condition. Red fills the right side of his face, as he approaches a cowering Morgan, who’s body trembles with fear. MORGAN I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! LEON (pointing at his face) Look what you’ve done! MORGAN I’m sorry! LEON (incredulous) You’re sorry? MORGAN Yes! Please forgive me! LEON Look at me! Look at me, you…you…you….IDIOT! COLE What is this guy’s problem? He won the match! Hearing those words from Leon’s mouth shatters Morgan’s fragile heart. Tears spring from her eyes, running down her square shaped face. Fearful that Leon might leave her at this very instant, Morgan latches onto his legs and looks up him with wet pleading eyes. MORGAN Please! Don’t hate me! I love you! I love you! I love you! If these words have any meaning to Leon, they aren’t evidenced by the sour expression beholden on his bloodied face. COACH That psycho! You see what she did? She almost froze Reject and Leon out of the battle royal. How you gonna have a major show with two of your major stars sitting on the sidelines. This whole concept is wack, I hate Battle Bowl, and I hate you more, Mikey!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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