Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- COLE Folks, welcome to Dubai!BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOOOOOOOOOM! COLE Michael Cole alongside Da Coach for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We are on a great vacation here in Dubai, but a superstar's work is never done. Especially if you're the world champion who will meet Lucius Soul in a title match tonight. In addition we also have a Battle Bowl contest. And the superstars of the OAOAST wait on pins and needles to see who will be chosen to compete tonight. COACH But first, what is this goofus doing in the ring? COLE Tim Cash, waiting very patiently for HeldDOWN to come on the air tonight, let's hear what he has to say. Stood in the middle of the ring with a microphone, Tim waves to the fans acknowledging their cheers. CASH Thank you very much everyone. First of all, I'd just like to say that it's great to be hear in such a beautiful city like Dubai. "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH This suck up... CASH Now tonight, I'm here to support my good friend, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Baron Windels. There's applause for Baron, earning a thumbs up from Tim. CASH Thank you. He's a great guy. I'm here to give my moral support for Baron as always. But, I know that there's someone else hear in Dubai who's morals are... well, they're being called into question lately. Leon Rodez, I know you're here tonight on stand-by in Battlebowl. So, if you would please, I'd like you to come to the ring, because there's a few things I'd like to say to you, face to face. Tim steps back, hands behind his back, patiently waiting. COACH Is he calling out Leon Rodez!? COLE It looks that way. And I can only guess what this is all about."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park, bringing out the Money In The Bank briefcase holder Leon Rodez, bringing along with him Morgan Nerdly. Not looking best pleased at being summoned to the ring, Leon scowls as he walks Morgan down the aisle with him. COLE The man responsible for unseating Josie Baker from her position as OAOAST President. COACH And proud of it. Leon slowly climbs into the ring, holding Morgan by the hand. He looks at Cash with a mixture of disgust and confusion as he walks past, taking a microphone of his own. LEON This had better be good. CASH Leon... Tim mulls over the words in his head and can't seem to find the right ones, leaving him tongue-tied. CASH I... Tim stops again, thinks some more... and then just shakes his head. CASH What happened to you, Leon? Not answering, Leon scowls back at Cash, growing more annoyed. CASH What has gotten into your head? I remember, when I first came to the OAOAST, you were the life and soul of the locker room man. Everybody loved you. From the guys at the top, to the guys at the bottom, to the janitors and the ring crew... you were everybody's friend. You were kind and warm and had time for all of them. You were the happiest guy around and I remembered looking at you back then and thinking "wow, one day, I wish I could be as popular as Leon is". Because you were beloved. By the wrestlers. By these great fans. And now I look at you and I just wonder where the Leon Rodez I used to look up to went. LEON Let's just say... that locker room wore him down... chewed him up... and spat him out. Not agreeing with this, Tim shakes his head vehemently. CASH Those people were your friends, Leon. And you turned your back on them and that's something that I just can't respect. I used to admire your attitude towards life. Now? Your attitude is something I can't even begin to imagine... LEON You're right, it's not, so what the hell do you want from me? CASH I want you to see what you're doing to yourself. What you're doing to people who used to call you a friend. Or a peer. Or even a hero. But mainly, I'm out here because of that. Tim points at the briefcase in Leon's hand. CASH That contract means you can cash in, anytime, anywhere against the World Heavyweight Champion. And as of right now, that champion is Baron Windels. Baron's got a lot on his plate as it is dealing with Mister Dick. So I'm out here to watch out for his blindspots. To watch his back. And I'm appealing to your better nature here, Leon. I'm asking you to be honest and upfront about your intentions. Because Baron's got a title defence here tonight and I want to be sure that you're not going to get involved. Barely able to believe the nerve of Cash, Leon paces around and almost let a smirk creep through. LEON Really? CASH I'd really appreciate it. LEON You want to appeal to my "better nature"? What better nature is that, Tim? The same better nature I used to have, three years ago? Let me tell you something, "Tim"... I don't like you... and I don't respect you. I pity you. You understand? Pity. See, the good news is, you succeeded. You managed to turn out just like your hero... me. Congratulations. You're now a pathetic... spineless... stupid... human doormat... just like I used to be. You're nice. You're nice to the fans. You're nice to the people you think are your friends. And they take and they take and they take... and you keep on giving and giving and giving... and you end up doing things like getting in my face and put your life in jeopardy, for people, people who deep down just don't give a damn. CASH You're wrong. People are good. LEON No, people are scum, Tim! There's two types of people in this world. Abusers... and abusees. And it takes one to know one. And I know right now, I'm staring one right in the face. Tim hangs his head, sadly. COLE Come on. Tim doesn't deserve to be talked to like this! LEON You are pathetic. And the only reason I haven't dropped you where you stand, is because I pity you so much, because I used to be just like you. Sooner or later, you need to wake up to reality. Reality doesn't bite... reality sucks. You need to figure that out. Quit being Baron's lackey, open your eyes, see these fans for the uncaring leeches that they are and then, get back to me. CASH NEVER! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Taken aback by this sudden defiance from Cash, Leon stares him down for a few seconds. Trembling, Cash stares right back. CASH I will never be like you! And you can play all the mind games you like with that briefcase. But as long as I'm around, I will not stand by and let Baron be ambushed or attacked by you! Whenever you do cash in that briefcase, I assure you, if it's by foul means over fair, then I will be right there to watch Baron's back! COLE You tell him, Tim! Atta boy! Taking in this rousing speech, Leon goes to turn away... ...but suddenly grabs hold of Morgan and THROWS HER AT CASH'S FEET!! Ever the gentleman, a shocked Cash instinctively bends down to help her... AND LEAVES HIMSELF OPEN FOR A CHEAPSHOT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Are you kidding me!? What a lowlife move that was! COACH Cash was asking for it, even by calling Leon out here. He should have known this wouldn't end well. If he thought anything else, he's deluded! As Morgan hobbles back to her feet and cowers for safety, Leon kicks his briefcase aside. Taking aim, he lines up Cash on one knee... AND BLASTS HIM WITH THE ROLLING SOBAT TO THE FACE!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH One Hit Kill! Cash lies motionless on the mat, surrounded by the sounds of boos. Calmly picking up his briefcase, Leon looks down at Tim before reaching out and signalling for Morgan's hand. Morgan seems, understandably, hesitant. But she gives up her hand and Leon takes her out of the ring and leads her up the aisle. COLE Totally uncalled for, on so many levels. Leon Rodez has no conscience! COACH That's what happens when you stick your nose in where it doesn't belong. Tim Cash is a busybody and he just paid the price. With briefcase and Morgan in tow, Leon backs away scowling back at Cash, as he's attended to by a couple of referees in the ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Backstage in front of Alf’s office, we find..MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD andJADE RODEZ-DUNCAN huddled up in conversation MAYA Look let me do the talking. JADE Why should you do the talking? MAYA Because clearly he’s about to fire you. JADE What? Why would he fire me? MAYA Well, for starters sometimes you forget to wash your face and you walk around all day with weird white crap on the side of your eyes. Then for tasty seconds you have the chest of a prepubescent boy. JADE My chest is fine! MAYA If you need a surface to play ice hockey on! Plus you’re a really bad talker. JADE I am not! MAYA What’s that smell? Did something die? No its just Jade’s ability to talk rotting and stinking in her skull. And let’s not forget you snort when you laugh. JADE I do not! MAYA Time for the test. Synth Abdul-Jabbar strolls on by, innocently enough. Unfortunatley for him, he’s tripped by Maya! MAYA Dude! Are you okay? That looked nasty! JADE SNORT. Darn it! MAYA Leave it all to me, big sis! Maya does a pimps twirl, before opening the door to Alfdogg’s office. ALFDOGG Hi, you two. MAYA Hi, Alf. I understand you wanted to talk to Jade. Well, Jade suddenly became a mute, and that’s pretty awesome because this girl will not shut up about Justin Bieber. ALFDOGG A mute? JADE Please don’t fire me! Please don’t fire me! Please don’t fire me! Please don’t fire me! ALFDOGG Fire you? Your mother would skin me alive and feed my bones to your Yorkshire terrier. MAYA He thinks human bones taste a little salty. ALFDOGG I just wanted to tell you, I saw your match with Holly a few weeks back and I was very impressed. JADE Hey, thanks. See, Maya, he was impressed! MAYA You have lipstick on your teeth. ALFDOGG You did great considering you had a sore neck and everything. That’s why I want to offer you the women’s title match at South Beach Spectacular. What do you say? JADE I’ll take it! ALFDOGG You’re a Duncan, I knew you would. Jade turns quickly to leave the office, and when she does, runs right into Denzel Spencer, who catches her in his arms. DENZEL 'Scuse me! Denzel grabs Jade's hand and leads her out of the office, as their eyes stay locked. As Jade slowly walks off, Denzel continues to look on, until Alf snaps his fingers in front of his face. ALF You all right there, brother? DENZEL Oh, jeah, fine! Joo wanted to see me, mon? ALF Yeah, I just brought you here to let you know that Thunderkid got held up at the airport back in Athens, so I have to delay the match until next week on Syndicated. DENZEL Oh, drag, mon. ALF Hey, don't worry, this means you won't be too beat to take in the Dubai night scene! DENZEL Sounds good! ALF ...you sure you're all right? DENZEL Oh, jeah, of course. ALF We'll talk about it later, bro, I got some work to do. Denzel leaves the office, with plenty on his mind. COACH Krista may still have somebody's hide here if that rastaman's thinkin' what I think he's thinkin'!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HeldDOWN~! Dubai Returns Outside The Heavenly Rockers' tourbus, Holly and Sophie seem to be engaged in some sort of argument. HOLLY (beep) do you want my help or not? SOPHIE Why must you be so vulgar? Why do you not speak in lady like terms, non? HOLLY (beep) being a (beep) lady! A lady is a bitch that lies down during sex and worries about chipping her nails, I throw Logan down onto the bed, slap the shit out of him, and I (beep) him till he cums blood. SOPHIE :o :o HOLLY That always gets a reaction. I’m the bitch that cracked a bottle over Tim Cash’s head at the 4th of July cookout because he had the (beep) nerve to call me “miss.” What a little (beep) sucker. You want to know how to beat that (beep) rag Morgan, and I want to see you beat her. So listen good. SOPHIE I’m listening. HOLLY Good. That bitch is as fragile as newly made glass, she’s tiny as hell, all you gotta do is slap her ass around and she’ll break in no time. The (beep) problem is that she’s strong as an ox on steroids, so you gotta hit and run. But when you hit, hit hard and she’ll go down quicker than I went down on Logan after last week’s Motley Crue concert. SOPHIE HOLLY I forgot you don’t like to get (beep), you sit in your monastery and knit while watching Golden Girls all day. Back to Morgan. She’s mentally weak, just do some shit to get in her head and the little bitch will break into pieces. But, she’s damned smart. So look out for that, because she’ll lure you in and then she’ll pounce and you’ll be shit out of luck in no time. Understand me? Plus she does that crazy electrical shit. You never know when she’s gonna be a bitch and spring that on you. (beep) her! I bet it would be her first time for that, virgin (beep). SOPHIE HOLLY And don’t let her hit that Shock & Awe, because if she does you might as well kiss your shit good bye. You avoid that, and do what I say and you shouldn’t get your ass chewed up. Sophie nods, soaking in all the strategey Holly has just provided her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 “Jive Soul Bro” hits and Lucius Soul walks to the ring with groove in his step. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by Rico de Janeiro… from New Orleans, Louisiana, weighing 188 pounds... "THE BLACK KNIGHT", "SWEET" LLLUUUUUUCCCIIIIIIUUUUSSSSSSS... SSSSSOOOUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico psyches Lucius up before his big match, all while the Soul man combs his fro. COLE Lucius Soul has the opportunity of a lifetime tonight challenging for the OAOAST World title. COACH Yeah. With Baron’s mind on the I Quit match at the South Beach Spectacular, Lucius could swoop in and take the title. That only goes to show what a moron Baron Windels is. COLE It shows he’s a true competitor. “Not Afraid” by Eminem cues and Baron Windels emerges to an ENORMOUS pop. BUFFER His opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds, he is the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Rico confronts BW ringside, allowing Lucius to jump him from behind. * DINGDINGDING * Rico holds BW up, but he ducks and Lucius nails Rico with a BICYCLE KICK! LUCIUS BW spins Lucius around and drills him with a Texas sized right hand, then tosses him inside. Lucius pops to his feet and attacks BW on the way in, but the Lone Star Gunslinger reverses a whip and delivers a backdrop. NO! Lucius performs a back flip, landing perfectly on his feet. He points to his head, then walks into an inverted atomic drop, followed by a BIG BOOT! COACH Thank God the Queen isn’t here to see this. Lucius is getting his ass kicked. Lucius lures BW into a false sense of security, then sends him face-first into the buckle! COLE BW let his guard down there and paid for it. Lucius delivers a BACKHAND SLAP… COACH Ho2Sleep! …then whips BW to the far corner for the 360 Stinger Splash, but BW moves. Luckily for Lucius, he was prepared for such a scenario, diving off the middle rope to take BW down with a SWINGING DDT!! COLE Oh, my! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Lucius dumps BW outside and Rico goes to work on the champion. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico tosses BW back in and Lucius makes the cover following an elbow drop. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Lucius lifts BW up in a fireman’s carry, but BW manages to slip out and clamp on THE SLEEPER!! COACH Hang in there, Sweetness. You can do it. Lucius panics and immediately taps. Rico, who had jump in to save his partner, then eats a Cowboy Bebop elbow for his trouble. * DINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Could that be Mr. Dick tapping at the South Beach Spectacular? COACH The only thing Mr. Dick taps is ass, Mikey Cole. Baron Windels will be counting sperm count at the SBS. BW’s hand is raised in victory as the official decision is announced. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… and still OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Another successful title defense here on HeldDOWN~! for the Lone Star Gunslinger. COACH It’ll be a whole different story at the South Beach Spectacular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 MAGGIE NERDLY stands with,CHRISTIAN WRIGHT &LORELEI DECENZO MAGGIE What’s up, ya’ll? Maggie Nerdly, “It” Girl on the scene chilling backstage with Lorelei DeCenzo and Christian Wright. C-Dub, in two weeks you meet your former stablemate Simon Singleton at the South Beach Spectacular. What’s going through your mind? WRIGHT Permit me to trough through the archive of my memoirs. MAGGIE Is this gonna take long? WRIGHT Time shall be no impediment to thy speaking of thine record. My lands of natality are the tobacco strewn fields of North Carolina. As a youth unsullied by the wicked ways of this terrestial body I watched the televisual transmissions of professional grappling with earnest interest. The apple of my youthful eyes was The Nature Boy Ric Flair. I understood that no man proved a mountain to impossible to climb for Mister Flair. Even in my artlessness youth I knew that this man wore the brand of the best. I also knew that the path of the professional grappling would be one I would tread till times end. I would not array the mark of insufiencey or mediocrity. Rather I knew I would bear the blessing and the curse of being the best. Even better than Ric Flair. MAGGIE Better than The Nature Boy? I’ve never heard your whooing skills. WRIGHT Though my road has been been paved with pitfalls that are of no fault of my own, my streak of undefeated athletic performances has seen my carry the torch of best in the army of professional grapplers. But it is torch my former companion Simon Singleton sees fit to extinguish. LORELEI But that’s not going happen, hear us. Now Simon’s playing with fire, and when you play with fire you can’t helped but get burned. Come South Beach Spectacular, Simon, you’re going to get torched. WRIGHT Fear me, Simon, for I am your maker.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HelDOWN~! Dubai Returns Wearing a custom made I HATE DUBAI t-shirt, Mister Dick paces back and forth between Malaysia and Genevieve Duncan. MISTER DICK Genevieve, I ain’t mean no disrespect but your damn daughter is startin’ to stick in my craw. GENEVIEVE Honey, that’s no surprise. She’s been working on my nerves since she could talk. ‘Mommy why do you keep locking me in the closet” “Mommy, why is Uncle Leroy sleeping in the same bed as you when daddy’s out of town.” “Mommy, why did you train the dog to pee on me whenever I ask to borrow the car” MISTER DICK Why she gotta keep interfering in our business? There ain’t nobody that ever asked her what she thought of us, or if she approved or not. I could give two droppings of puppy shit, what she thinks and if she opens up her mouth to tell us, I’m gonna shove that shit right down her throat. Swear to god. It ain’t none of her business what we do! You ain’t never said nothing bout her dating Alix. GENEVIEVE If I could go back in time, my one goal would to be merciessly slaughter that Mexican tarts parents so that their demon seed would never infest my precious family. Honey, don’t worry, Krista will get distracted by a bottle of gin, or new some ass implants and we’ll all be fine. By the way what is an I Quit Match? MISTER DICK An I quit Match? GENEVIEVE Yes. MISTER DICK An I quit match is the only way I can show that pud puller Windels, who’s who and what’s what. MALAYSIA An I quit match is a work of art. You get to abuse, dismember, destroy, and annhilate your opponent and its all legal and its all so erotic. Watching tears flow down their cheeks, hearing their screams for mercy, feeling their bones snap between your fingers, GENEVIEVE Honey, that sounds like sex with my husband. MALAYSIA Its better than sex. The orgasms you get from an I Quit Match are some of the best you’ll ever have. MISTER DICK That bastard thinks he made me tap out. Well, Mister Dick don’t tap out to no man, not even if he put a million dollars in front of my face and said “Jock, tap out and this money is all yours” I still ain’t gonna submit, and I ain’t never gonna say I quit. That ain’t in my character. Giving up like that. I’m gonna put Baron Windels through holy hell, I’m gonna make him wish his nasty mama never spat him out her stinkhole. Its gonna be brutal. MALAYSIA And I’m going to love it. BATTLEBOWL IS NEXT~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 MATTHEWS Alright ladies and gentlemen, so far, sixteen names have been drawn in the 2010 BattleBowl. And another sixteen remain, looking to advance to the South Beach Spectacular and compete for a shot at the OAOAST World's Heavyweight Championship. Tonight we're going to pick our next four to compete, so Maggie, let's get our first team drawn. The tumbler is spun as the two sets of half-empty locker rooms look on. MATTHEWS Okay, first up... is the one they all wanted to avoid, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Krista parades out, a hero in Dubai just as she is in the US. COLE Do you think Josh was referring to being Krista's opponents, or her partner? COACH Both. MATTHEWS And Krista's tag team partner... the 2010 OAOAST King Of The Ring, LANDON MADDIX! Landon stands up from his THRONE at the back of the locker room, but stops, looking up at the ceiling with annoyance. KING LANDONKing Landon! MATTHEWS Sorry... "King" Landon Maddix. Apparantly satisfied, King Landon heads out to join Krista, who seems more interested in chatting to Dubai's rich and influential in the stands. The King makes his entrance to decidedly less cheers than Krista, but waves and bows as if he's being cheered wildly. COLE What a pair this is. MATTHEWS And the opponents will be... also representing The Cucaracha Kingdom! "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL", FAQU! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" King Landon looks taken aback at this and stops in the aisle, looking back over his shoulder as his Samoan monster heads out. COACH Wait wait wait, this isn't right! You can't have Faqu fighting the King! Draw another name! COLE That's not how Battlebowl works. You can't just say "draw another name". COACH You can if you're the King, surely! As Landon enters the ring, he seems quite troubled as he watches Faqu doing the same and standing on the other side of the ring. MATTHEWS And the final name... one half of the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, COLIN MAGUIRE JR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Uh oh. Suddenly looking up, Krista turns to the entrance way with something between a smile and a scowl, as Colin walks out with one of the Tag Team Titles over his shoulder. COLE Well it was only two weeks ago that the LDC Moneygang STOLE the Tag Titles from Chicks Over Dicks, thanks to a ridiculous powerplay from Theodore Moneymaker, after Krista had been incapacitated by Mister Dick. And last week, Alix got a small measure of revenge... but, revenge from Alix and revenge from Krista are like petting a kitten and stroking a shark, two very different prospects. Colin stomps out and poses with his belt on the turnbuckles, causing Krista to laugh and shake her head, unable to believe that Colin would be stupid enough to dare do such a thing. COACH Looks like Colin just tugged on the shark's tail. He ain't scurred! Colin hops down and hands over his title, as the "teams" get ready to go. *DINGDINGDING* It looks like Faqu is going to start for his team, against Krista. Until King Landon drifts over to the opposition side of the ring and starts to whisper in the big Samoan's ear, convincing Faqu to step outside and let Krista and Colin settle things. Which doesn't go down well with Colin, cussing out Landon for getting involved. KRISTA Gee, thanks Landon. KING LANDONKing Landon. KRISTA Whatever you say, Landicakes. KING LANDON .....Grr.King Landon steps out and is happy to watch as Krista and Colin get set to lock it up. COLE So here we go, Krista gets her hands on Colin and the Cucaracha Kingdom "opponents" don't have to even get involved. Everybody wins. Except Colin. CMJ and KID tie up, before quickly breaking away from each other. Maguire snatches hold of Krista's head and delivers an Irish uppercut, so Krista fires back with a forearm to the face! Colin hits another Irish uppercut. Which doesn't seem to have much effect. Krista helpfully points out why, the two giant airbags attatched to her chest maybe deflecting the blow, then catches Colin while distracted by the bouncing bags, cracking him with a jumping knee! COACH Ow! Left clutching his nose, Colin checks for blood before angrily taking a swipe at Krista. She ducks a clothesline though, then starts attacking his knees with some kicks. Colin is hobbled and eventually dropped, down to his knees. Taking a step back Krista takes aim with another knee, only for Colin to duck and counter with a schoolboy... 1... 2... No! Colin picks himself up by the ropes and takes another shot to the face. A clothesline then sends him up and over the top, to the outside. KRISTA I'M WINNING~! "YYYAAAAAAAAAYYY!!" Celebrations are a little premature as Colin returns to the apron, waiting for Krista to get in range for a forearm from the outside. As Krista staggers back, Colin re-enters the ring and makes a charge. Krista catches Colin in a fireman's carry though and promptly dumps him right on his face again! COLE Krista is really putting Colin's nose out of joint, literally and figuratively! As Colin picks himself up, Krista is already hurtling towards him with a running dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Krista wrings the arm and takes Colin over to her corner. KRISTA You want in, Landon? KING LANDONKing Landon! KRISTA ...fine, forget it. To the King's annoyance, Krista takes Colin back into the centre of the ring and decides to continue on herself, since her partner has decided to be so rude. She snapmares Colin over, then comes off the ropes with a running knee to the face! COLE Another knee! Colin's nose must be on the verge of bursting across his face. COACH She stole that move from Spencer Reiger, you know that, right? Krista hooks a leg... 1... 2... No! Looking back to her corner, Krista finally relents and offers a tag to the King again. Which he takes. While Landon is taking his time actually making his grand entrance into the match though, Krista decides now is the perfect time to rile up Faqu. So she gives the Samoan a quick slap, then "helpfully" complies with the referee's demands to leave. Which means Landon ends up entering the ring just as Faqu comes in ready to kill and almost soils his royal britches!! KING LANDON NO NO NO NO NO!! Faqu is just about stopped in time by King Landon, making it very clear that "he equals friend". Snorting, Faqu still looks like he wants to fight and seems to be weighing up hitting his opponent anyway, even if it is his King too. But Landon manages to get through to him and coaxes him back onto the apron. KRISTA BOO! WE CAME FOR BLOOD! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT WHO'S WITH ME?!! COLE Faqu doesn't have many emotions. Fight is one of them. And... wait, is fight even an emotion? COACH Nah. Despair is, though. Trust me. Having gotten rid of one opponent, King Landon turns around into the clutches of his other one, Colin catching him with a Harvardplex!! Colin rolls over and covers the King... 1... 2... Kickout! Colin traps Landon in a headlock and takes him over to the corner, ready to tag Faqu. KING LANDON NO! NO! DON'T TAG HIM! Faqu looks confused, as Colin extends his hand and Landon waves his frantically. KING LANDON I COMMAND YOU NOT TO TAG! I AM YOUR KING, HEED TO MY WORD! COLIN Fehck up. Colin punches Landon in the face. KING LANDON OW! UNHAND ME! As Colin continues to press Faqu for the tag, Landon finally manages to escape and takes Colin away from his corner with a back suplex! CMJ gets folded up hard and holds his neck, as King Landon sits up and thanks Faqu for listening to him. The Samoan just stares back, dumbly. KRISTA Anyone care to explain to me what's going on here? Anybody? No? Good, don't care. Landon goes on the offense, stomping the back of Colin's head. He then picks the Irishman back up and starts delivering forearms. Once Colin is dazed, Landon turns and hits the ropes, but Colin cuts him off with a boot to the gut. Colin comes off the ropes, looking for a kneelift. The King brushes him aside and goes for a backslide, which Colin rolls straight through from. He pulls Landon into a standing headscissors, only for Landon to squirm free and lift Colin up for the Go To Sleep!! COLE Oh, look out here! Some squirming of his own gets Colin to safety and he slips down the back, landing on his feet. Colin then grabs a waistlock and bridges back with an Irish Suplex... 1... 2... NO! Colin waits on Landon with a clothesline, but the King reacts sharply, hooking his way around Colin's arm with his left and hooks CMJ down with an inverted bulldog with the right! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The King's Guillotine falls on Colin Maguire Jr. A great counter move. Reaching back, Landon hooks a leg... 1... 2... NO! Rolling over to his corner, Landon tags Krista back in. KRISTA Yo, by the way, pretty cool move, Landon. KING LANDONKing Landon!! KRISTA Whatever. KING LANDON .......Grr. Coming in with Colin hurt, Krista takes aim, but decides she must do so with something equally flashy. So she springboard to the middle rope and flips back with a moonsault. Colin manages to sidestep, forcing Krista to come down on her feet. A nice landing, but not very damaging. Colin hangs on the ropes and Krista charges forward, getting backdropped over the top. And though she comes down on her feet again, this time the landing is voided, as Colin hangs her neck across the top rope! COLE Ooh! Krista got caught right there and takes a nasty spill to the floor. COACH And now feeding time can begin. Slapping his Samoan partner on the chest, Colin barks at him to "help me aht already". Faqu glances over to King Landon looking for the okay... and the King nods, essentially setting the lions on his own 'partner'. COLE I guess Landon has no problem seeing Krista smashed by his Samoan Wrecking Ball, just so long as he's safe. COACH Sounds smart if you ask me. COLE Except if Faqu smashes through Krista, the King isn't going to Battlebowl. Dropping down from the apron, Faqu grabs Krista and hauls her back up. Manhandled, Krista is lifted up and has the small of her back driven into the ring apron, causing her to howl in pain. Faqu looks up for approval from King Landon, who gives it, despite his place in the match. So Faqu rams Krista in a second time before dumping her back inside the ring. "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" "KRIS - TA!" COACH Lot of tourists here, I see. COLE Krista is beloved the world over, Coach. Hovering over the beloved Krista, Faqu sizes her up... and hits a diving headbutt smash! He covers, pressing Krista down... 1... 2... But Krista kicks out! Faqu stands back up and places his bare foot on Krista's throat, choking her. The referee gives him a five count and Faqu just stares at him, then rants back at him in Samoan, apparantly not understanding the count. Which means an extra couple of seconds of breathlessness for Krista. COACH I'm getting choked up just watching this. Oh, wait, no, that's Krista! COLE That was one of your worse efforts. And that covers a lot of ground. COACH I'm getting paid to be in Dubai, like I give a fuck about quality control. COLE ...I hear dat. As the pampered announcers high-five, the normally pampered Krista isn't enjoying her rough time. Thus, she attempts to tag. With Krista crawling his way though, King Landon gives her the short arm and watches Faqu stomp Krista in the spine. COLE King Landon wants no part of Faqu, whatsoever. Which means, this is essentially two on one odds for Krista! Her partner is no use to her! Scooped up and slammed, Krista is lined up for a silicone squashing Big Splash from the Samoan Wrecking Ball... ...but moves out of the way!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" With Faqu momentarily winded, Krista makes another slow crawl to the corner. However, King Landon keeps his hands by his side and starts to turn his head and look around, trying to pretend he's not paying attention! KRISTA Oh, you are just the biggest jackoff, Landon. KING LANDON For the last time, it's King Landon! KRISTA My bad. You are just the biggest jackoff, King Landon. KING LANDONThank you! Sheesh! Not hanging around to point out King Landon's obvious idiocy, Krista drags herself back up to fight the battle alone. She leaps up and catches Faqu charging towards her with a dropkick. That only manages to fend Faqu off for a moment. But Krista is able to duck a clothesline and connect with another dropkick. Faqu rocks back for a second on one foot, giving Krista some hope... until he surprises her with a thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Krista collapses to her knees and Faqu looks to finish her off with a Side Belly To Belly!! Cover... 1... 2... KING LANDON Woah woah woah! COLE Wait a second... The count stops short as King Landon gets Faqu's attention and causes him to get up from the cover! Landon has only thought that far ahead though and has to improvise a reason for basically breaking the pin up. COLE I guess Landon wants to win after all! COACH Of course he wants to win! He's just not stupid about it. COLE Well, that's debatable, but anyway... Even Landon can't keep Faqu distracted forever though and the Samoan eventually turns back to finish off his prey... who is lying in wait with a SUPERKICK!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Faqu somehow manages to stay on his feet, but is clearly out of it. Not sure of how to follow up, Krista waits for Faqu to shake it off and resorts to goading him into a mistake, daring Faqu into making a charge and then sidestepping causing him to run right into the turnbuckles! Colin quickly tags in, at which point King Landon reaches over the ropes and has the nerve to tag himself into the match as well. COLE Oh sure, now Landon wants in! Both CMJ and Maddix come in at full speed and go toe to toe, until Landon manages to duck a shot and catch Colin with a boot to the gut. With a theatrical throwing of the hands, Landon turns Colin over, puts him in a reverse facelock, then connects with the Landon Eye! KING LANDON AH-HAH! All glory to the King! All hai... *SMACK!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH KRISTA JUST SUPERKICKED HER OWN PARTNER! COLE Good! The King lies prone, caught completely by surprise by the kick. Krista just looks down and shrugs. KRISTA (to the referee) C'mon, he was asking for it. Unable to deny that, the referee lets the match continue on with Krista and Colin, who gets taken on a trip on LIFE IN THE FAST LANE! Cover... 1... 2... Faqu saves with a stomp! COLE This one is breaking down, here! Krista gets back up and sees Faqu charging towards her, so thinks quickly and pulls the top rope down! Faqu takes a flying spill out of the ring and lands with a thud. Satisfied, Krista dusts her hands, unaware that King Landon has gotten to his feet and is charging in as well... ...no, actually, quite aware, as she just pulls the rope down on him as well. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" After another dusting of the hands in satisfaction, Krista goes back after CMJ. She sets up a DDT, but Colin surprises her by spinning out and catching her with an Irish Suplex!! 1... 2... NO! As Colin calls for the end, Faqu goes to get back into the ring... but King Landon stops him! He calms his Samoan savage down and convinces him that it's not worth it, content to just let things play out for themselves. Which distracts Colin, unhappy at his partner's desertion, even though one of his opponents is deserting with him. COLE Are they leaving!? COACH Looks like it. With the Kingdom members looking on, Colin finally blows them off. He turns around, then freezes in shock, as he walks right into a dose of KIDOLOGY!!!!! COLE BAM~! Cover by Krista... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Yes! Revenge for Krista! *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, advancing in the 2010 Battlebowl... "KING" LANDON MADDIX and KRISTA IIISSSSAAADDOOORRRAAAAAAA DDUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" As Krista sits up with a smirk on her face, King Landon continues to hold his Samoan beast at bay, unable to hide a wry little smile at the outcome. COLE That will be a very small, but very satisfying dose of revenge for Krista, pinning one half of the World Tag Team Champions. And she, along with King Landon, move on to South Beach and one step close to an AngleSlam main-event spot. COACH This doesn't prove anything though. Colin was distracted, he had no partner... changes nothing. The Moneygang are still the champs. COLE They are. But anyone who crosses Chicks Over Dicks is living on borrowed time. And that includes Colin, Spencer... and, Mister Dick. Krista continues to celebrate while King Landon walks Faqu back, having come away with, all things considered, a royal result.FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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