Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- New entrance song: Miley Cyrus-Can't Be Tamed We focus on Sofa Central which is decorated in celebration of the Great Angle Bash with red, white and blue streamers and miniature American flags. COLE Folks we are at the sight of Anglemania ten, Madison Square Garden! But tonight its HeldDOWN~! that's center stage with a wild world title mainevent!TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST WORLD TITLEMISTER DICK VS REJECTTONIGHT COLE I'm Michael Cole sitting alongside Jonathan Coachman, welcome to the final HeldDOWN~! before Great Angle Bash! The superstars are pumped, the fans are pumped! Let's get to the action! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long Through thick green fog, and flaring gren and gold lights emerge Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The unstoppable Christian Wright holds out his arm and takes in the decidedly negative reaction of the Madison Square Garden crowd. He then throws their hatred back at them with a fist through the air and a blast of green pyro. Beautiful as always in a strapless yellow gown, Lorelei flashes a gorgeous smile towards the hostile audience. The two Enterprise members then hook arms and walk to the ring with their heads held high in contempt and pride. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes! Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! Wright enters the ring with one arm raised and his nose continually foisting itself into the air. COACH This man just can’t be beat. COLE He has been unstoppable as of late. But if anyone can defeat him, it may just be this man. Slither roars to life as gigantic flames spew from the eyes of the massive MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE’S HEAD! Through the open jaw of this fanged beast comes Simon Singleotn and Molly Nerdly. Molly points with both hands to the ring and Simon happily obliges her request, trotting down the ramp with total purpose. BUFFER Now making his way to the ring from Orange County, California, being accompanied by Molly Nerdly, he is BOX OFFICE SIMON SINGLEEEEETTTTTOOOOONNNNNN! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Simon Singleton all set to face his old running buddy in Christian Wright, lets here what BOSS had to say. ON SCREEN COMESSIMON SINGLETON ANDMOLLY NERDLY SIMON Christian Wright, how are you, old buddy? I assume you’re out there watching this with me, and it isn’t weird to have someone standing next to you and have that same person on a giant video screen in front of you? But I digress from my point. Lately you’ve been making offers to people, you give them money and they’ll not beat you into the dust. That may have worked in school when you forked over your lunch money to prevent the Glee Club from smashing your face off, but that won’t work with me. MOLLY In summary: you’re pretty much screwed. But your beating is going to make great footage for my next film. LORELEI You always were pig headed and stubborn! WRIGHT Come now, Lorelei, a procession of hard-hearted obloquy is uncalled for at this juncture! Let it be transcribed into thy annals of the OAOAST that though we may no longer be kin, Christian Wright and Simon Singleton remain consorts! Dear Simon, I believe you have misjudged my offer as unembellished pittance designed to prevent thineself from soiling thy hands with the OAOAST’s undesirables. Unalloyed gentleness and pure altruism are the presenters of this fine offer! Be not stubborn as Lorelei deemed you, withdraw thy weapon and accept my gift of five thousand dollars. SIMON Five thousand dollars? Don’t you know there’s a recession going on? I’ve got kids to feed, and bills to pay. Make it an even ten grand, and I’ll be out your hair. WRIGHT It was always my firm belief that you were a man of high intellect! We find ourselves in an agreed upon transfer of funds. SIMON Great, let me just do this real quick. Simon smashes the microphone against CW’s head! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Here we go! Wright immediately rolls to his feet, and becomes a victim of several knife edge chops to his midsection. Yes I said midsection. After these unorthodox strikes conclude, Simon grabs onto Wright’s arm and attempts an Irish whip. But CW reverses the hold and sends BOSS running into the ropes. However, Wright is ill prepared for Singleton’s return, and the Cobra flattens him with a diving shoulder tackle! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Simon raises his arms in celebration. Simon puts himself into the ropes once more, but when he nears The God Child, Wright pops to his feet and captures him inside a side headlock. There’s a short struggle between the two men, before BOSS manages to shove him into the ropes. Wright bounces back and strikes his one time friend in the chest with a shoulder block. Singleton staggers into the ropes, which spit him back into a European Uppercut from The God Child. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” WRIGHT SILENCE! Singleton nails Wright in the stomach with a powerful kick that sends the unbeatable superstar back into the corner. Wright attempts to free himself from his position, but is blasted with several swfit kicks to his ribcage. This hobbles him, and he stumbles out the corner in a great deal of pain. Ever the comedian, Singleton mocks his predicament by clutching onto his ribs and howling in “pain” COACH There ain’t no need for that kind of business! Angered at being mocked, Wright whirls around with a closed fist. But Singleton blocks the attack with his forearm and counters with a series of jabs. The blows stun the DC native, and allow Singleton to capture him into his arms and execute a rib breaker. Singleton then hooks the outside leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright gets his shoulder off the canvas. Soon his whole body follows and attempts to make a much needed escape outside the ring. But Simon grabs onto his slick black hair and shakes his head as he drags him into the ring. SINGLETON We’ve hardly just begun to have fun! Simon points out to the crowd to gain their approval before executing their next move. Once he gets it, he throws a short armed lariat at CW. But The God Child ducks beneath the attack! However his luck ends at that moment as Singleton swings around to hammer his ribs with a powerful kick. Several more land and drop a whimpering Wright to his knee. Singleton goes back to mocking Wright, telling him that he feels his pain. He then adds injury to insult with a dropkick to CW’s face. A pinfall quickly follows… ONE! TWO! Lorelei distracts the referee, which draws the anger of Molly. However the Nerdly kid keeps her rage in check and instead goes back to cheering Simon. Inside the ring, Singleton attempts to pick CW off the canvas. But he’s struck with a low blow that severly weakens him. This allows Wright to drag him down into a roll up… ONE! TWO! Singleton eases himself out the pinfall, and quickly comes to his feet. Wright follows him upright, but is hit in his sore ribs with another lethal kick. As Wright is crippled by the attack, Simon teases a low blow. WRIGHT Neigh! Neigh! Showing a rare case of mercy, Singleton settles for launching a spinning back kick into his foe’s ribs. Singleton then grabs onto Wright’s head, lowers it, and strikes him in the face with a knee. CW falls back to the canvas, where he clutches his sore face. COLE It looks the unbeatable man is very beatable on this night in New York! Wright comes to his feet under his own power, but is trapped inside a front facelock. Rather then execute any sort of attack, Singleton choses to keep the hold as a submission. Wright’s face fills with red as the pressure of the hold immediately begins to take hold of him. Summoning all his strength, he grabs onto Singleton’s ribs, and runs forward to smash him against the ring posts. The sudden jarring of his back forces Singleton to weaken his hold, and Wright pries himself free. COLE That was a desperate move by The God Child. COCOACH But it was a smart move. Lorelei senses Wright is in dire need of assistance. For that reason, she reaches into the ring and holds onto Singleton’s legs. This allows Wright time to recover. Once his health is revived, he opens fire on BOSS with European Uppercuts. Once those flesh shredding attacks conclude, Wright grabs hold of Singleton’s arm and throws him across the ring. His loafers trail Singleton’s path, expecting to propel him into the air with a body splash. But Singleton grabs onto the top rope, throws himself onto the air, and pushes backwards to kick The God Child in the face! Wright stumbles away, his face flowing with burning agony. “LET’S GO SIMON! LET’S GO SIMON! LET’S GO SIMON!” the fans chant, led on by Molly. Singleton rushes forward and connects with a running knee to Wright’s jaw. The God Child spins around and crumples to the canvas, gripped by pain. His problems continue to mount as Singleton slides on top of him for a cover… ONE! TWO! Wright’s shoulder comes off the canvas, bringing a sigh of relief to Lorelei’s throat. COLE We were just a second away from seeing the end of Christian Wright’s win streak. COACH You would’ve loved that, wouldn’t you? Singleton scrapes Wright off the canvas by his jet black hair. He offers him a few elbows to the rips before snapmarring him over to the canvas. BOSS then drops down to the mat, and tightens his legs around Wright’s body. This forces pained screams from Wright’s mouth, music to the ears of the sold out audience. Wright beats the mat in frustration, as Singleton furthers tightens the pressure on his ribs. COLE Could Wright’s first loss in almost a year be a submission defeat? COACH You can hardly contain your excitement. You make me sick, with your punk, mousey looking ass. With one mighty heavy, Wright lurches to the side and attaches his hands onto the ring ropes. An annoyed Singleton is forced to make a clean break as the audience boos his foe’s escape. While the fans berate the referee, Singleton pulls Wright off the canvas. He tags him in the ribs with two more kicks, before latching onto his arm to attempt an irish whip. However, Wright exerts all his effort into reversing it and sends his former friend into the ropes. Wright lowers his head, hoping that BOSS will leapfrog him. He meets with no such fortune, as Singleton swings his boot into his neck! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Singleton smiles at Wright’s ill luck as he backs into the ropes. He charges at full speed at The God Child but is met with a snap powerslam! COACH There it is! There’s that undefeated skill! The referee drops to his knees to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Now its Molly who distracts the referee, teasing the official with a revealing of her juicy, bra busting beauties. COACH Oh baby here it comes! But its only a tease, as the referee warns Molly against interfering with his duties and orders her off the apron. “YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!“ the fans chant at the offical. COACH I agree. Alfdogg, fire this bum! Wright picks Singleton off the canvas and throws him into the ropes. When BOSS returns, he lashes at CW with a lariat! But Wright ducks around his opponent, and executes a deadly back suplex! Wright then hooks onto Singleton’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Referee be damned! Molly makes her way to the ring apron, and showcases the pristine, astounding beauty of her gigantic mammaries. The fans are reduced into drooling wrecks at the heavenly flesh of her sweet breasts. COACH How do you talk to an angel, Cole? How do you hold her close to where you are? The referee is less amused and orders Molly and her big boobs to the back! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Wright is even more perturbed than the referee, and orders a return to normalcy. Unfortunatley for him normalcy is being kicked in the ribs by Simon. Wright hobbles about the ring, trying to escape the brutal kicks of his opponent. Singleton continues to hound him and traps him inside a rear waistlock. There’s a short struggle staged by The God Child, but its ultimately useless as Singleton bridges backwards with a German Suplex! The referee counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright pushes himself out the pinfall. Exhausted, he still manages to stumble to his feet. But there he’s swatted in the ribs by a parade of harsh kicks from his former associate. With Wright seemingly out on his feet, Singleton heads to the corner. SINGLETON I’m getting kind of bored, guys, I think its time to end this show. Singleton heads to the top rope, to execute his finisher the Blockbuster. But in his way stands the refree, who is convinced that Wright has some sort of life threatening injury. COLE What is this? I don’t mean to sound barbaric, but if he has an injury so what, isn’t that the point of a wrestling match to injure your foe until they can’t continue? COACH That is barbaric, like a neanderthal! You ol so easy a caveman coul do it ass nigga, go sell someone some Geico. With the referee’s back turned to him, Singleton is an unaware sitting duck. His hunter? None other than Lorelei, who cracks him across the back with a steel chair! As the fans deride her cruel display, Singleton topples over to the canvas. Suddenly, Wright’s health is magically restored and he rushes over to his foe for the cover…. ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall…..CHRISTIAN WRRIIIIIIIGHHHHTTTTTT COACH The man cannot be stopped! Wright hops to his feet, and celebrates with a triumphant pose. As the audience douses him with heat, Lorelei fetches the microphone. She forces it into his hands, causing the crowd to grow all the more irritated. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... BLOCK BUSTER BY SIMON!!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Although sore from the chair shot, Singleton still grabs the microphone to say his peace. SIMON From this day forth, I defiantly vow, you will never, ever, win another match again! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Yo, this fool stepping out of line. Just 'cause you almost beat The God Child don't mean you got his number. Fall back, young Simon, fall back.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HeldDOWN~! Returns Marching through the hallways of the arena, in animated conversation, Chirstopher Patrick Allen and Detective Tango Bosley have another plan cooking. The V.I.C.E squad head directly for the Cucaracha Kingdom throne room, but their conversation is cut short by the door refusing to open. BOSLEY The hell? OPEN UP! After some more shoving and barging the door finally opens and Bosley steps in... but immediately recoils, with FAQU guarding the door. Poking his head up from his throne, King Landon KING LANDON Enter! Faqu steps aside and lets V.I.C.E in, Bosley still a little wary of the big Samoan. QUEEN ESTHER Welcome, kind visitors! Please state your business. CPA Uh... thanks. We want a word with Lando... KING LANDONKing Landon. CPA ...a word with King Landon. KING LANDON Lucius! With a snap of his fingers, the King summons the Black Knight from the other side of the room. KING LANDON Translate these ethnics to us. V.I.C.E :huh: CPA Let's cut right to the chase. Word on the street is, you need somebody taking out. Me and Bos are the guys who can take care of that for you. Ask around. If you've got the money and you've got the problem, the V.I.C.E squad'll be happy to handle it for you. You don't wanna get your hands dirty? No problem. We're more than happy to do that for you. LUCIUS Oookay mah King, the maaan here be layin' down dat he gonna make a little mess up in this piece so dat we's don't have to, yaunderstandwhati'msayin', these dudes is ruthless pimps who get all up in that day to day, night to night, an' that ain't no big hibby you can belie'dat mah King. King Landon stares at Lucius for a second, then CPA. KING LANDON Actually, I understood them more than you. BOSLEY Yeah man! You want dirty hands!? Huh? I got all sortsa shit stained on these knuckles, man! When I'm all up in people's shit I ain't worried about keeping things clean! If I get a little bit of blood sprayed over my knuckles, or some brain tissue dug under my fingernails, you know what, that ain't my problem! And if some bitch got some problem about me having dirty hands, then she ain't gonna like what I'm gonna be doing to her later on, so to hell with her! QUEEN ESTHER Heavens! KING LANDON Uhh... can we tone down the language a touch, guys? Words not fit for sensitive ears there... or, any ears, really. Bosley letches at the Queen, who is still shocked at the crude man in front of her. KING LANDON Look, my edict is pretty clear. Anyone who can get rid of Nathaniel Black for me will collect the ransom. I don't need to hear how, I don't need to hear where, just so long as my problem is taken care of. You deal with my problem and the Kingdom will reward you in kind. With a smile, CPA nods. CPA Say no more. V.I.C.E leave with bad intentions, already cracking their knuckles on the way out the door. Making it very clear just where they're heading, including to King Landon, who relaxes back in his throne and smirks to himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 We swoop over to the world famous interview stage and Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the man who this Sunday night at the Great Angle Bash gets his shot at revenge and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS! Eminem's latest smash hit “Not Afraid” cues and BW emerges to a thunderous ovation. BRANNIGAN Baron Windels, you are 48 hours away from the biggest match in your career. BARON Opportunities like this don’t come often, Tony. It’s my first ever shot at the title and with the competition level here in the OAOAST it could be a long time before I get another crack. BRANNIGAN Not only is the competition level intense, but have you given any thought to Mr. Dick trying to make history repeat itself by intentionally getting himself disqualified like he did in your previous encounter 3 weeks ago? BARON The stage and money at stake is too big for Mr. Dick to pull that stunt again. His ego won’t allow him to leave Big D without defeating me in front of all my fellow Texans at Cowboys Stadium. That’d get him off more than an orgy with all the Victoria’s Secrets Angels. But that ain’t gonna happen, pal. I have a whole galaxy behind me-- the OAOAST Galaxy! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BARON And with their support I’m gonna leave Cowboys Stadium the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Now swallow that! “Not Afraid” hits and BW plays to the crowd. COLE Baron Windels is ready for Mr. Dick at the Great Angle Bash. What an event it will be from Cowboys Stadium this Sunday night live on pay-per-view.THE GREAT ANGLE BASH SUNDAY NIGHT, JUNE 27 LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HeldDOWN~! ReturnsCRUSH CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH TWOTHREEFOUR With a bridal viel shielding her eyes and a pleated black mini skirt framing her thin figure, little Maggie Nerdly squeezes through the entrance doors. Her bouquet of roses and a RAWK hand signal shoot into the air, as green lights surrond the It Girl. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes and it is for the OAOAST Women’s Title….now making her way to the ring, from Edmonton, Alberta, she is the OAOAST’s very own “It” Girl on the Scene the champion……MAAAAAAAGGGGGIEEEEE NEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYY! Maggie smiles brightly as she dashes down the entrance ramp with hand slaps for all. COLE Maggie Nerdly set to defend her OAOAST Women’s Title against Lindsay Gonzalez. Both these women current and former loves of our United States champion, Tha Puerto Rican. It will be interesting to see if that plays any part in tonight’s contest. Maggie hits the ring, happily rushing to its center. She aims her flower arrangement at each of the four turnbuckle posts to send green pyro darting into the air. As the crowd sits wowed by the display, Maggie tosses the bouquet of flowers overhead and into the waiting arms of the audience. Lights change from an energentic green to a sultry pink as “Independent Woman” brings its bouncy hip-hop sounds to the arena. Pink strobe lights sway across the entrance to introduce Ms.Lindsay Gonzalez and her confident swagger. A single spotlight finds its way onto her way, and she strikes a pose, extending her left leg and announcing to the crowd she is number one with right hand. Pink pyro booms behind, almost drowning out Destiny’s Child with its nosie. Lindsay then walks to the ring with the spotlight as her accompaniment. BUFFER And the challenger! From Toronto, Ontario Canada by way of San Juan, Puerto Rico... she is "THE LATINA BITCH"... MS. LLLLIIIIIIIINNDDSSSSSSAAAAAYYYYYYY... GGOOOOONNZZZZZAAAALLLLLLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! Lindsay carefully guides herself up the ring steps, pausing to mock the fans at the very top. She then slowly enters the ring, offering the fans a fine look at her ass while doing so. COLE Folks, right now we’re going to be turning commentary reigns over to Morgan Nerdly and Holly, two former Women’s Champions. Ladies, enjoy. HOLLY This gonna be (beep) lovely, ain’t it, little Morgan? You and me at sofa central, we’re gonna have ourselves a good time, won’t we? MORGAN Um, sure. DING DING DING Lindsay starts the match by chewing out Maggie, which earns a simple grin from the women’s champion. This dismissive attitude frustrates Lindsay and she lunges for Maggie. The It Girl wheels behind Lindsay and grabs her into an armlock. That hold only lasts for a few seconds before Maggie upends her with a side headlock takedown. HOLLY I’ll make a god damn gaurentee to you rat bastards that Maggie will walk out here with the women’s title. I don’t wanna fight anyone but her scrawny ass at Great Angle Bash. MORGAN If you hurt her…. Maggie wrenches on the hold, causing great pain to Lindsay. The larger girl is forced to wrap her arms Maggie’s thin waist and bridge her over to the canvas. Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie flips back over with the headlock still applied. Annoyed with her inability to escape, Lindsay mutters a few curses. She then uses her strength advantage to push the women’s champion to her feet. Elbows find their way into Maggie’s ribs and cause her to reliqunish her hold. Lindsay contiues to apply pressure by smashing a knee into her thin midsection. Maggie stumbles away, clutching her now hurt stomach. Lindsay hounds her position, but is thrown under fire by several kicks to the shin. Lindsay’s legs can take no more and buckle beneath her, driving her to the canvas. The Latina Bitch then rolls out the ring to catch breather. Maggie celebrates her retreat with the RAWK hand signal. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” But taking her eyes off Lindsay’s was a grave error; Lindsay grabs onto Maggie’s tennis shoes and upends her to the mat. HOLLY Dumb as dog shit, eh. You seem pretty (beep) smart Morgan. Why is that? Had no (beep) friends so you had to bury yourself in books when you were a little kid. MORGAN I…I…I don’t want to talk about my childhood. Lindsay rolls into the ring and begins hammering Maggie with hard lefts and rights. Maggie manages to shove her away and hastily returns to her feet. But as soon as she stands, Lindsay surges forward and clotheslines Maggie! She then picks her up and rams her into the corner posts. Maggie falls to the ground and endures cruel taunting from the Latina Bitch. Grounded, Maggie’s neck is squashed by Lindsay’s knee and she wheezes in anguish. HOLLY Doesn’t that make you feel pretty damn good, little girl? You know you like seeing your family members get their asses torn up. MORGAN Maggie is my friend, I don’t want to see her hurt. Lindsay picks Maggie up and slugs her in the jaw. Several punches weaken her and allow Lindsay to toss her into the ropes. But Maggie reverses the Irish whip effort and when Lindsay returns her face tags the canvas from a drop toe hold. Morgan then runs the ropes, and sends her tennis shoes crashing into Lindsay’s head. The Toronto native falls over onto her back and wails in pain, leading Maggie to attempt a cover… ONE! Lindsay makes a quick kickout, but her troubles continue with Maggie swinging her onto her stomach in a Boston Crab. Fortunatley for Lindsay she’s near the ropes and her long arms reach out to grab them. Maggie breaks the hold right away, and brings Lindsay to her feet. Several punches connect with Lindsay’s jaw until The Latina Bitch shoves the little champion into the ropes. Maggie bounces back right into a flapjack from Lindsay. HOLLY How’s your sex life? Are you getting any (beep)? MORGAN Please, leave me alone. Lindsay leaps into the air and drives her knees into Morgan’s stomach. The youngest Nerdly girl turns over and squeals her agony. Her cries are muffled by Lindsay forcing her down for a pin… ONE! TWO! Maggie kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lindsay scrapes Maggie off the canvas all the while taunting her. She then whips her smaller foe into the ropes. But Maggie returns to cross body block Lindsay down to the canvas! As Lindsay lies prone and hurt, Maggie points to the top rope. This garners a fine reaction from the audience, and the champion begins climbing up the turnbuckles. But a suddenly recovered Lindsay runs forward and throws her backwards. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” the audience lets their ill feelings be heard. While yelling at the fans to shut up, Lindsay traps Maggie inside a chinlock. Maggie grits her teeth in frustration as she tries to make a very quick escape from the basic submission. HOLLY You’re quiet, but I bet you’re a freak in the bed. How many (beep) do you like? Two? Three? MORGAN I said leave me alone! HOLLY I say the more (beep) the merrier. MORGAN Lindsay tears on Maggie’s neck, trying her hardest to gain an easy submission victory. Unable to meet her goals, Lindsay begrudgingly transfers Maggie into a crossface. But this is to her misfortune as it permits Maggie to turn her over into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Lindsay rolls all the way through until she has Mags on her shoulders in a standing fireman’s carry. From there she dives sideways and spikes Maggie’s head into the canvas with a DVD! The fans recoil in horror as Maggie’s face goes blank for the moment. HOLLY Isn’t that your move? MORGAN She’s awful! I hate her! She’s just like all the others! Lindsay hooks onto Maggie’s bare legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie throws her shoulder off the canvas to great applause. Lindsay holds her hands to her head, unable to comprehend how she failed to get a three count. Lindsay then brings Maggie to her feet and snaps her neck with a neckbreaker. Next, Lindsay dives on top of Maggie for another cover… ONE! TWO! Maggie makes the kickout once more. HOLLY This referee is slow as shit. What do you think about the (beep) sucker that counted the pin I got on your little ass to get your title? Was that fast? MORGAN Can’t you just leave me alone? I’ve never done anything to you! HOLLY You (beep) zapped me, bitch! An angered Lindsay drags Maggie to the center of the ring and hooks on a grounded facelock. The referee checks for a submission but Maggie refuses to yield and throws up a defiant fist. Eventually that fist is used to punch her way free of Lindsay’s submission hold. Maggie then runs to the ropes and returns to bring down Lindsay with a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! Lindsay rolls out the pinfall, looking harried and nervous after doing so. HOLLY That bitch knows her time is coming up. Maggie comes to her feet, and finds herself mowed down with a running elbow from the Toronto native. This pleases Lindsay, and she taunts Maggie by lightly tapping her head with the side of her boots. MORGAN (angry) Stop….doing….that. Lindsay picks Maggie off the canvas only to snapmare her down again. She sizes up the tiny blond before smacking her in the back of the head with a dropkick. Maggie falls back to the canvas and Lindsay makes the pinfall attempt… ONE! TWO! Maggie pushes herself out the pinfall and receives a sizable cheer for doing so. Lindsay mutters to herself over the failed count, before settling on another chinlock to accomplish her title dreams. HOLLY These two bitches have one thing and common. Do you know what that is, genius? Tha Puerto Rican. Both of ‘em were and are stupid enough to date that (beep)sucker. How about you, would you (beep) him? MORGAN I…I..I…have Leon. HOLLY You don’t sound too (beep) sure about that. Romeo isn’t all you thought he was, is he, Juliet? Lindsay rips and wrenches on Maggie’s chin, causing the younger girl great discomfort. But its not enough to cause Maggie to even entertain the thought of submission. Thus Lindsay switches into a reverse chinlock. However it’s a case of too little too late; Maggie fights her way upright and backpedals Lindsay into the corner. But Lindsay grabs onto Maggie’s highlighted hair and slams her backwards to the canvas. This deflates the audience and puts a smile on Lindsay’s face. She backs up to the second rope, and motions for Maggie to stand. Once Maggie does Lindsay flies forward with a lariat but Maggie counters with the Deodorator (arm stunner)! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lindsay hobbles upright and finds herself under fire from several kicks to her now injured arm. Those a mere piddling blows compared to the dropkick Maggie now slams into her pretty face. Lindsay falls back to the ropes, but manages to roar back with a lariat with her good arm! A pinfall then follows… ONE! TWO! Maggie kickosut! MORGAN (pleadingly) Come on, Maggie. Come on. HOLLY Don’t you worry your pretty little all your dreams are about to come true. Holly slams down her headset and exits Sofa Central. With fists clenched, she charges up the ringsteps onto the ring apron. This draws the attention of Lindsay, and Miss Gonzalez gets right into the face of the former champion. Such annoyances do not sit well with Holly and she slugs Lindsay right in the jaw. Lindsay is turned around and staggers right into a hammerlock from Maggie. The It Girl snaps onto Lindsay’s neck and then drops backwards with a DDT to complete Happiness Is Edmonton In Your Rearview Mirror. “YEAAAAAAAA!” the fans sing as a satisfied Holly disembarks from the ring apron. Maggie hooks both of Lindsay’s legs for a crucial count… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and still OAOAST Women’s Champion….MAAAAAAGIEEEE NEEEEERDDDDDDLLLLLLYYYYYY! Holly applauds on the outside while Maggie stares at her with barely contained hostility. Throughout this Morgan watches with a nervous curiosity, unsure of what to make of the preceding events. Testicle Attack #49! Group: OAOAST Mods Posts: 2,871 Joined: 3-April 02 From: Miami, Florida Member No.: 1,843 Warn: (0%) ------+ CODE COLE Fans, last month at School's Out: Class Is In Session, we saw an INCREDIBLE match contested for the United States Title. Tha Puerto Rican, the United States Champion, took on Spencer Reiger one-on-one in an impromtu contest. COACH Yes, my man, Spencer, wanted to catch Tha Puerto Rican off guard, put him on the spot, make him defend the U.S. Title with only an hour or two of notice! He wanted to surprise P.R. just like P.R. surprised Colin Maguire, Jr.! COLE But unlike CMJ, Tha Puerto Rican was able to successfully defend the United States Title on such short notice, beating Spencer Reiger in the middle of the ring, and walking out of the Kemper Arena with the United States Championship STILL in his possession! COACH True. True. COLE Coach may not like it, but it's the truth, Ruth! COACH Lame. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is STILL the OAOAST United States Champion! COACH Double lame. COLE He might be watching, Coach. COACH Oh. I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES, P.R.! COLE Ugh. Anyway, it was a tremendous contest! Let us now take you back to School's Out: Class Is In Session from May 30, 2010, and show you the closing moments of Tha Puerto Rican vs. Spencer Reiger match for the OAOAST United States Championship! Believe me, fans, this was an encounter that you will not soon forget! COACH Hey, I don't have to hide this time! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican/Spencer Reiger match from OAOAST School's Out: Class Is In Session. The following words appear on the bottom right hand corner of the screen along with the DVD box art for OAOAST School's Out: Class Is In Session.OAOAST SCHOOL'S OUT: CLASS IS IN SESSION MAY 30, 2010 AVAILABLE SOON ON OAOAST HOME VIDEO Tha Puerto Rican climbs the top rope. COLE The U.S. Champ about to fly! But Reiger is on Tha Puerto Rican’s case, grabbing PRL’s right foot and pulling him off of the top turnbuckle onto the ring apron. PR desperately holds onto the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling to the floor! VENTURA But Spencer is on his tail! Reiger beats on Tha Puerto Rican on the ring apron, and then grabs him by his hair so that he can simply throw him back into the ring! Reiger follows PR into the ring. He picks The People’s Champ up and then gives him a bodyslam! SR climbs the top rope and measures the distance between himself and Tha Puerto Rican, before leaping off top with a picture perfect Moonsault! VENTURA Look at the airtime on that Moonsault! Spencer’s got this! Spencer stays on top of PRL for the cover, hooking his legs. COLE We could have a new Champion! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Ooh! Only a two count! VENTURA A lucky two count is what that is! But the U.S. Champion’s luck is about to run out! As another “P.R.!” chant rings throughout the arena, Spencer Reiger cinches in a reverse chinlock on Tha Puerto Rican! He knees P.R. in the back while applying the devastating hold. Rudy Charles checks on PRL’s condition, but the 7-year OAOAST veteran refuses to submit to the relative newcomer’s deadly move. Realizing that a chinlock, even if it’s a reverse one, isn’t going to be enough to take down Tha Puerto Rican, Spencer lets go of the hold and picks P.R. up again, only to scoop him up and slam him back down onto the mat HARD once again! VENTURA Spencer in control of the U.S. Champion! A win tonight could go a long way in establishing Spencer Reiger as an OAOAST mainstay for years to come! SR heads to a turnbuckle corner. He measures PR, and then jogs forward, leaping up and coming down with a knee onto Tha Puerto Rican’s forehead! Spencer rolls through and ends up on his right knee, a smirk on his handsome face. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Spencer not interested in gaining any new fans tonight! VENTURA I wouldn’t worry about it. When Tha Puerto Rican loses the U.S. Title tonight, the fans will come flocking to Spencer! Watch! Reiger slides across the ring and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up off of the mat as he gets to a vertical base himself. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* NO! Tha Puerto Rican ducks the second knife-edged chop, grabs Spencer Reiger from behind, and then lifts him up to give him a back suplex! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican is back in this contest! The crowd is alive again as Tha Puerto Rican and Spencer Reiger both lie on the mat, fatigued. Rudy Charles checks on both men, and then starts a 10 count. “ONE!” “TWO!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” COLE This match has taken A LOT out of BOTH of these men! What a GRUELING affair this has been! “FIVE!” Spencer starts to move his legs. “SIX!” Tha Puerto Rican rolls to his side. “SEVEN!” Tha Puerto Rican gets on his hands and knees. “EIGHT!” Spencer sits up. “NINE!” Tha Puerto Rican uses the top and middle ropes to get back to his feet! He goes to pick SR up…but gets punched in the stomach! Then punched in the face! And another punch! And another punch! Spencer Reiger gets to a vertical base while punching Tha Puerto Rican repeatedly in the face. A headbutt briefly brings Tha Puerto Rican down to his right knee, but Spencer pulls him back to a vertical base so that he can whip him into a corner! PR hits the turnbuckles back-first HARD! Spencer charges forward towards Tha Puerto Rican…PRL kicks Spencer in the mush before he can do anything! Spencer stumbles around the ring, right into a clothesline from Tha Puerto Rican! Spencer is back up, so Tha Puerto Rican dares him to come close before he starts wailing on Reiger with Rock-style punches to the temple! The punches take Spencer to the corner PRL was just at! COLE Tha Puerto Rican laying the smackdown on Spencer Reiger! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! COLE Spencer left his feet on that punch! Tha Puerto Rican grabs Spencer by his hair and takes him to the opposite corner where he proceeds to slam his face onto the top turnbuckle pad! PRL then takes a jog back to the corner he and Spencer were originally at. Building speed, Tha Puerto Rican rushes forward, eyes set on Reiger--but Reiger is one step ahead, giving PRL a BAAAAAACK Body Drop OVER the ring post! Luckily, Tha Puerto Rican lands on his feet on the ring apron. Unluckily for Tha Puerto Rican, Spencer simply punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face to knock him to the floor! VENTURA He really is one step ahead of Tha Puerto Rican now! COLE Spencer knocking Tha Puerto Rican to the outside. What does the #1 Contender have planned now? What, you asked, Michael Cole? Well, how about slingshotting over the top ring rope, grabbing Tha Puerto Rican with his legs and giving him a hurricarana!--EXCEPT, Tha Puerto Rican is able to hold onto Reiger by his blue board shorts, lift him up high into the air…and POWERBOMB him onto the protective mats! “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE OH MY~! VENTURA Wow! COACH YO~! Coach runs away again through the crowd. COLE Tha Puerto Rican striking big with that Powerbomb! VENTURA He knocked the wind right out of him! I didn’t know he had it in him! COLE I don’t think Tha Puerto Rican thought he had it in him either, but when your title is on the line, you HAVE to go all out to win and retain it! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Tha Puerto Rican’s Powerbomb on Spencer Reiger onto the protective mats from two different angles. COLE Great timing by Tha Puerto Rican, able to catch Spencer Reiger just before he could finish that hurricarana! VENTURA Someone check to see if Spencer is still breathing! COLE Oh, calm down, Jess! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican is on his knees breathing hard. He puts his hands through his ever growing hair and then looks down at a withering Reiger. Spencer is holding his back and breathing hard. And Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t make things better when he gets on top of SR and starts hammering away at him with lefts! COLE The Southpaw from San Juan continuing his assault on Spencer Reiger as he looks to have his first successful U.S. Title defense! VENTURA It won’t be so successful if he is counted out! The referee is up to 7 when PRL finally notices him and picks Spencer up, throwing him back into the ring. Once there, Spencer gets on his hands and knees and begs Tha Puerto Rican off. COLE Oh come on! VENTURA Hey, he knows when he’s beaten. He’s smart. COLE I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this is VINTAGE~! Spencer Reiger! Giving up when the going gets tough! Spencer crosses his heart and swears that he’ll forfeit the match. Tha Puerto Rican can only roll his eyes watching this. He looks to his fans, who all tell him to just kick the crap out of the guy. PRL shrugs his shoulders, saying, “Well, majority rules.” He then tells Spencer Reiger that “YOU CAN’T SEE ME!” before nailing him with a Rock-style punch to the temple knocking him down! Spencer is back up, but is brought down by another Rock-style punch to the temple! SR gets up a second time, and for a third time, he is hit with a Rock punch. Spencer gets up a third time, and it’s fourth verse, same as the first! VENTURA Hey, he said he would give up! COLE But Tha Puerto Rican isn’t going to accept victory like that! He WANTS to beat Spencer Reiger! He WANTS to retain the United States Championship only after a hard fought match! He WANTS to win fair and square! VENTURA That doesn’t sound like Tha Puerto Rican that I know. COLE …Where have you been since November of 2007!? VENTURA Somewhere getting drunk, probably. Spencer gets up a fourth time, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs him by his left hand and whips him into the ropes--NO--Spencer reverses, --NO--Tha Puerto Rican reverses, pulls Reiger in, hooks him up, and DRIVES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE LATIN SLAM!!! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Latin Slam! VINTAGE~! PRL! PRL covers Reiger! He hooks his left leg. Rudy Charles counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!” COLE That wasn’t enough! The match continues! Spencer Reiger still has a chance of winning the United States Title! VENTURA Yes! Come on, Reiger! Make a name for yourself tonight at School’s Out! PRL is shocked that that wasn’t the finish. And so are the fans. “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” An increasingly weakened PRL sits on his knees thinking up his next move. Spencer is still on the mat, still suffering the effects of the Latin Slam. PRL takes a deep breath and then marches on. He picks SR up by his neck and delivers a knife-edged chop across Spencer’s chest! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” VENTURA P.R. ripping off another wrestling legend. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” TPR grabs SR by his right hand and whips him into a corner. Puerto charges forward, right into a back elbow from Spencer! Reiger grabs Tha Puerto Rican and applies a front facelock on him, before dragging him over to the corner he was just at. Reiger punches PRL in the gut several times to stop him from trying to fight back, and then punches him in the face six times. PRL is stunned, so Spencer grabs him and sits him on the top rope. COLE Uh-oh. The crowd is buzzing as Reiger climbs the top rope himself. VENTURA Here we go. Reiger applies a front facelock on Tha Puerto Rican. He then puts PRL’s left arm over his head, and then grabs PRL’s tights. Tha Puerto Rican and Spencer Reiger are both on their feet on the top turnbuckle…but not for long, as Spencer brings Tha Puerto Rican down to the mat HARD with a Superplex! VENTURA A spectacular Superplex from Reiger! And there’s the cover! ONE! TWO! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! COLE No! Only a two count! VENTURA Damn! The fans breathe a sigh of relief as the match will, in fact, continue. Both Reiger and Puerto lie on the mat exhausted from the Superplex. Reiger couldn’t believe that he only got a two count from that Superplex, but he soldiers on. After punching PRL in the face several times, which leads to the crowd to chant P.R.’s name again, Spencer Reiger picks up the United States Champion and gives him several European Uppercuts! These rock Tha Puerto Rican, and he has to use the ropes to maintain his balance. The One Man Triple Threat grabs The People’s Champion and shoves him into a corner, where he proceeds to nail The Great One with several shoulderblocks to the midsection! VENTURA We are seconds away from a new United States Champion! COLE We just might be, Jess! Reiger again grabs Puerto an sits him on the top rope. He connects with another European Uppercut which rocks Tha Puerto Rican! The One Man Triple Threat climbs the top rope, scans the crowd, and then laughs it up. The crowd is worried for their hero, buzzing in anticipation of Reiger’s next move. COLE What could Reiger have up his sleeve now? Spencer smiles evilly at the fans. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican by the top of his head, jumps up, wraps his legs around Tha Puerto Rican’s shoulders…and then brings him down to the mat HARD with a FRANKENSTEINER~!!!!!!!!!! COLE Frankensteiner! I’d say VINTAGE~! Scott Steiner…but Spencer Reiger performed the move! VENTURA And he performed it almost as good as Scott Steiner ever did!…What!? He might be watching! Reiger applauds himself after his impressive Frankensteiner. But then he sees that Tha Puerto Rican is still moving, so he quickly gets back to his feet and heads to the ropes. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican to sit up before he rushes forward, hitting Tha Puerto Rican right in the face with a running knee to the crowd’s disgust! COLE Oh my! Looks like Tha Puerto Rican has finally realized that Blood Is The New Black! VENTURA And Spencer Reiger has just destroyed whatever was left of Tha Puerto Rican’s good looks after all these years of wrestling! Reiger wastes no time going for the cover. 1...2...LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!! COLE Close but no cigar for Spencer Reiger! Spencer yells at the ref, claiming a slow count. But the ref maintains that he is calling this match right down the middle. Reiger slaps the mat in frustration. He sits on his hands and knees and tries to think of what to do next. While doing so, the camera does a close-up of the HUGE knot that has formed on Reiger’s forehead. VENTURA Look at the size of that knot, Michael Cole! Just goes to show you how much punishment Spencer Reiger has taken in this match! All to become the United States Champion! COLE BOTH men have taken a severe beating in this contest. They both want what only one can have! And just who will that one be!? VENTURA If there is a kind and loving God, it will be Spencer Reiger. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican is still holding his face after the Blood Is The New Black. SR is still on his hands and knees. Eventually, he gets up and starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican. The boos are overwhelming for Spencer. He decides he’s had enough and tells the crowd to “SHUT UP!”, but that, obviously, only makes them boo even louder than before. PRL is severely weakened from the stomps, and The Lightning Bolts’ fear that their leader will lose the United States Title tonight to Spencer Reiger only grows and grows. The Prodigy takes a few steps back and then nails PRL with a soccer-like kick to the gut just as Tha Puerto Rican starts crawling across the ring! He then takes a few steps back again, and once more, he nails PRL with a soccer-like kick to the gut! SPENCER REIGER YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ME! YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ME! YOU…ARE NO BETTER…THAN ME! Reiger points a menacing finger at PRL while taunting him. He picks Puerto up and continues pointing a menacing finger at the current United States Champion. He then gives P.R. a mighty BITCHSLAP across the face! “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” VENTURA HA! HA! I LOVE IT! COLE Oh, he ain’t gonna like that! VENTURA Keep your Pimp Hand STRONG, Spencer! The Prodigy applies a front facelock on Tha Puerto Rican. BUT THA PUERTO RICAN SPRINGS TO LIFE AND NAILS SPENCER REIGER WITH THE LIGHTNING STRIKE!!!! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE And the Lightning Strike takes Spencer Reiger down to the mat! VENTURA Oh no! The Lightning Strike took a lot out of Tha Puerto Rican as he too lies on the mat, fatigued. Spencer is holding his neck on the mat, while Rudy Charles has checked on both combatants and has begun a 10 count. COLE Tha Puerto Rican able to hit the Lightning Strike out of nowhere…but he may have used his last ounce of energy to do it! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “THREE!” “FOUR!” “FIVE!” VENTURA This match can’t last much longer, Cole! COLE Both men are feeling the effects of this epic encounter! They’re both running on pure adrenaline by now! They have to be! No other way around it! VENTURA Who’s going to blink first, Michael Cole!? COLE It’s anybody’s guess now! “SIX!” “SEVEN!” PR rolls across the ring until he is on the ring apron. He then uses the bottom and second ring ropes to pull himself up. Very slowly, PRL gets to his feet. He rests on the ring apron, and then sees Spencer Reiger still lying on the mat not moving and remembers that he still has a match to win. So, Puerto leaps onto the top ring rope and springboards off of it, doing a 450 Splash onto the prone Spencer Reiger! COLE The San Juan Jam! I don’t think we’ve seen that move in years! Tha Puerto Rican covers Reiger, hooking his left leg! The crowd counts along with Rudy Charles. 1! 2! 3 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VENTURA And Reiger kicks out of THAT move too! I tell ya, he’s showing the world just what he’s made of tonight! COLE *Another* kickout from Spencer Reiger! Reiger will not go down without a fight, I’ll give him that much! VENTURA Spencer Reiger is showing that he has more heart, more guts, more determination than Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Well, I wouldn’t go that far. VENTURA But I would! An obviously disappointed PRL sits up and takes a moment to catch his breath. He looks down at Reiger, and the McMahon SNEER~! appears on his face. PRL stands up. He looks at the crowd… “THAT’S IT!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. signaling for the P.R. Nightmare! He wants to end this thing right here, right now! Tha Puerto Rican bends down, getting into his predator stance. He motions for SR to get up as the crowd starts getting loud. VENTURA He’s gotta be careful now! COLE Yes, Spencer must be on the look out for Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA No! Tha Puerto Rican’s gotta be careful! Spencer is playing possum! COLE Oh come on! Spencer is sitting up. PR is right behind Reiger, stalking him. A groggy, out of breath Spencer Reiger uses the ropes to bring himself to his feet. PRL moves back and forth behind him, waiting to strike. COLE The Lightning Bolts can feel it! We might be seconds away from a P.R. Nightmare! Reiger is on his left knee. He uses the top ring rope to s l o w l y rise back up to a vertical base. COLE I wouldn’t want to be Spencer Reiger right now. VENTURA You never would want to be him, anyway. Spencer likes women! Reiger rests on the top ring rope for one second. He then takes a deep breath. The One Man Triple Threat turns around… …and walks into a KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHT-- NO!!! SPENCER REIGER ESCAPES PRL’S GRASP~!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE He countered the P.R. Nightmare! Reiger quickly grabs PRL, but gets punched in the gut for his troubles. PRL stands up and starts hammering on SR. TPR goes for a kick that is caught by Reiger…so Tha Puerto Rican turns it into an enziguri to a pop from the crowd! COLE Quick thinking from Tha Puerto Rican! VENTURA Get up, Reiger! PRL picks Spencer up and hammers him in the face! He goes behind SR and grabs him by the waist, looking for a German Suplex! HOWEVER, the attempt at the German is stopped when Spencer grabs Rudy Charles by his referee shirt! COLE Now come on! This isn’t right! VENTURA It’s a title match, Michael Cole! You gotta do what you gotta do! Rudy Charles threatens to disqualify Reiger if he keeps tugging on his referee shirt. Spencer finally lets go thanks to that threat. The referee dusts his referee shirt off and adjusts it…giving SR just enough time to scratch Tha Puerto Rican’s eyes while the ref isn’t looking! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” VENTURA HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! BRILLIANT! COLE Oh. Now we see why he did that. VENTURA He did something even *I* wouldn’t have done! I tell ya, Spencer Reiger is the evolution of professional wrestling! This kid is going places! Tha Puerto Rican stumbles around the ring holding his eyes. Spencer is standing perfectly still in the ring, waiting for the right time to strike. Once PRL comes close to him, The One Man Triple Threat kicks Tha Puerto Rican in the gut. He then grabs PRL and places him in a standing headscissors. The crowd panics as New York’s Finest hooks PR’s arms, looking for his finishing move! COLE It could be time for the Reiger Counter! VENTURA We’re going to have a new United States Champion! The Prodigy looks to the crowd with a sinister grin on his face. But it is that one second glance that might have cost him, as just as quickly as Tha Puerto Rican became trapped in the finishing move did he escape it, backdropping Reiger onto the mat HARD! COLE No! Tha Puerto Rican escapes! VENTURA Oh no! PRL lets out a mighty roar! He picks up SR, only to get poked in the eyes! Spencer Reiger hammers on Tha Puerto Rican with rights to the skull! Spencer goes for a punch--BLOCKED! Tha Puerto Rican fires with several Rock-style punches to the temple! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Reiger falls to the mat. He gets back up, only to get punched some more from The People’s Champ! Rock punches continue to daze and confuse The One Man Triple Threat! Finally, Puerto Rican gives Reiger a double leg takedown! The current reigning and defending United States Champion gets on top of his challenger and starts hammering away at his skull with lefts and rights to the crowd’s delight! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is not giving Spencer Reiger any room to breathe! VENTURA He’s snapped, Michael Cole! Somebody straight jacket him! PRL gets up. He looks to the crowd, who cheer loudly. PRL has a look of determination on his face as he grabs Reiger by his legs and drags him towards a corner. Once there, PRL grabs onto Reiger’s black knee pads so that he can have a good grip on Reiger’s legs. Spencer’s legs firmly in his hands, Tha Puerto Rican falls backwards onto the mat, slingshotting Spencer into a top turnbuckle pad! COLE Oh! Spencer went FLYING on that one! Spencer’s head bounces off of the top turnbuckle pad! He holds his face in pain as he stumbles around the mat. KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 COLE The P.R. Nightmare! He hits it! VENTURA No! Tha Puerto Rican covers Spencer Reiger. He hooks Spencer’s left leg. Referee Rudy Charles counts, along with the crowd. COLE Is this it? 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (20:42) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE It IS it! What a match! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a deep sigh of relief as “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. He gets off of Spencer Reiger and raises his hands in victory to the crowd’s delight. BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN! COLE A hard fought victory for Tha Puerto Rican! Spencer Reiger proved to be quite the challenger for the United States Champ, but in the end, despite not even having a day to prepare, Tha Puerto Rican STILL came out on top and is STILL The People’s Champion AND is STILL the United States Champion! Rudy Charles raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. VENTURA Well, I’ll tell ya what, Michael Cole, Tha Puerto Rican surprised me. He had his back against the wall. He didn’t have much time to get ready for this match. But after taking everything Spencer Reiger gave out, he STILL was able to plant him with the P.R. Nightmare for the win! I don’t know if that was because of his talent or if that was because of just plain luck, but it was definitely because of…something. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has successfully defended the OAOAST United States Championship for the first time in his career! VENTURA Colin Maguire, Jr. is going to be PISSED! Rudy Charles hands the OAOAST United States Championship belt over to Tha Puerto Rican. He holds the belt close to his heart as he raises his right hand into the air while breathing hard. He then stands up and has the referee raise his hands in victory again to another pop from the fans. PRL raises the U.S. Title belt into the air with his right hand. PRL raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his head to cheers from the fans. COLE Tha Puerto Rican able to have a successful U.S. Title defense despite having such short notice on his who his opponent was going to be. Something that couldn’t be said for the previous U.S. Champion, and the man who Tha Puerto Rican defeated to win this Title in the first place! P.R. gets one over both members of the LDC Moneygang as he walks out of the Kemper Arena, out of Kansas City, Missouri, out of School’s Out: Class Is In Session still the United States Champion! Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle. Once there, he raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt high into the air with his right hand as he “smells the electricity”. The crowd cheers LOUDLY as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. COLE A phenemonal match from two phenemonal athletes! Spencer Reiger may not have walked away victorious, but he DEFINITELY showed that he belonged in the ring with Tha Puerto Rican and impressed all of us in what was undoubtably the biggest match of his career so far. Which is why the OAOAST Board Of Directors, after much deliberation, have decided to name Spencer Reiger #1 Contender to the OAOAST United States Championship once again! COACH All right! COLE We will see a rematch between Tha Puerto Rican and Spencer Reiger for the U.S. Title, and it will take place at The Great Angle Bash: All-American Beatdown Sunday June 27th from Cowboys Stadium in Dallas, Texas. What a match that should be between PRL and Reiger, if their last match is any indication! Standing by with his comments is the current #1 Contender himself, The One Man Triple Threat Spencer Reiger. The camera cuts to Spencer Reiger standing in his entrance gear in the lockerroom. The crowd boos loudly. Reiger has an annoyed look on his face. COLE Spencer, thank you for your time. SPENCER REIGER Yeah, just get to the point! I ain't got all day! COLE Well, Spencer, you are once again the #1 Contender to the OAOAST United States Championship. SPENCER About time they gave me my rematch. COLE And I have been told that you want to add a special stipulation to your rematch coming up at The Great Angle Bash: All-American Beatdown. SPENCER Indeed I do, Mikey Cole! You see, the One And Only AngleSault Thread made the right call giving me this rematch. But...this is not enough for me. Not this time. No, this time, I don't want Tha Puerto Rican to win by pure luck. By the skin of his teeth. I want to make sure that in our next match, the winner is determined by just who the better man really is! So, I did something that I never do...I looked to the past. I decided to take a look at the OAOAST Record Books. And I saw something. I saw a common thread. I saw the solution to my problem. Michael Cole, my match against Tha Puerto Rican at The Great Angle Bash will be...A LADDER MATCH! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Oh my! A Ladder Match for the United States Championship! SPENCER Why a Ladder Match, you ask? It's simple. You see, Tha Puerto Rican...well...quite frankly, he SUCKS at Ladder Matches! Oh yeah. He's won titles, he's main evented AngleMania, he's beaten the best that the OAOAST has to offer. But forcing him to climb the rungs of a ladder...eh, he just...can't...seem...to...do it! He's been in four Ladder Matches, and he's LOST them each and every time! I've found Tha Puerto Rican's weakness! I have exposed his achilles' heel! And I am going to use this knowledge to climb to my first singles title here in the One And Only AngleSault Thread and continue on my path to greatness! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SPENCER I am the man with the plan! The ball is in my court. I have Tha Puerto Rican right where I want him. It's appropriate that this pay-per-view is subtitled All-American Beatdown, because I WILL give Tha Puerto Rican the beatdown of a lifetime! I am going to beat him within an inch of his life so that he'll barely be able to climb one rung, let alone all of them! He won't have two legs to stand on once I'm done with him! At The Great Angle Bash, Tha Puerto Rican's record in Ladder Matches will jump to 0-5, and I, New York's Finest, will show the world that Tha Puerto Rican is the past, and that I, The Prodigy, am the future! Spencer Reiger is a name that you will be hearing for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time to come! At The Great Angle Bash, I will become the next and the GREATEST United States Champion that this company has EVER seen! And I will do it by beating the snot out of my opponent like he owes me money! I am going to win the United States Championship at The Great Angle Bash: All-American Beatdown! Why? Because this event was made for Americans, not people who leech off of Americans, like Puerto Ricans do, and I am the greatest American currently living! And THAT, P.R., is the truth, Ruth! The fans boo loudly. SPENCER By the way, P.R., that is a HORRIBLE catchphrase! UGH! I felt dirty just saying it! COLE Thanks for your time, Spencer. SPENCER Get lost. COLE Will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Reject. JOSH With me right now, the challenger for the OAOAST World title tonight, a two-time former holder, as well as a New York native, Reject! *crowd cheers* JOSH Tonight, you first chance to regain your title since losing it at AngleMania. REJECT That's right, Josh. You know, I have to admit I underestimated Mr. Dick. The guy is pretty clever. I mean, you look at how he treats Tim Cash, after the guy helps Jock win the title from me at AngleMania. That's gratitude for ya! And what about Baron Windels? He knew he couldn't handle me on his own, so he buddies up to these two guys just long enough to get what he wants. I mean, Jock jizzed on this guy and wrote a song about it, then suckered him into teaming with him again! I have to admit, he had a pretty genius plan. Reject pauses. REJECT And speaking of Baron...you better not get ahead of yourself, cowboy. You're all focused on Mr. Dick, but remember, his title's on the line tonight, which means you'll be facing me this Sunday after I take it from him. So you better get your priorities straight. *crowd cheers* REJECT And as for you, Jock...tonight, it's one-on-one. Tonight, you don't get no help from your fake friends, whether you want it or not. And there'll be nobody to stop me from taking back my OAOAST World championship. The crowd cheers, as Reject walks off.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT OAOAST WORLD TITLEMISTER DICK VS REJECTTONIGHTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HeldDOWN~! Returns We cut to our cameras backstage, trailing Nathaniel Black as he walks through the parking lot. Which is surely bad news. Especially with Tango Bosley and CPA, lying in wait behind a car out of Black's sight! Little does Black know. Approaching his rental car, Black opens up the door... but the moment he does, V.I.C.E pounce! BOSLEY YEAH~! YEAH~! GET YOU SOOOME~! Bosley and CPA stomp Black up against the car and RAM his head back against the side of the car, with a THUD! And again! CPA Get the door! Dragging Black's body towards the driver's seat CPA steps back and allows Bosley to SLAM THE DOOR SHUT on Black's upper body! BLACK AAAHH! BOSLEY HOW'S THAT FEEL, PUNK~!? Black falls back against the side of the car, leaving him open for some more kicks and stomps. The V.I.C.E squad haul Black back to his feet and guide him towards the car beside them, before HURLING him forward, sending Black bumping over the trunk and to the concrete over the other side. BOSLEY YEAH~! V.I.C.E round the car and stalks towards Black ready to finish him off... ...when suddenly, there's a loud whistle from behind them. V.I.C.E turn around and see, moving towards them, the figures of THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND, with their spiked clubs flung over their shoulders and smiles on their faces! SCOTTISH SCOTT Aye! C'mon then lads... let's party! Faced with the club-weilding Scots and a recovering Black, Bosley and CPA look at each other and realise they're in trouble. CPA Not now. Go! Forceful enough to even get through to Bosley, CPA thumbs behind him and V.I.C.E quickly leave in that direction. The Scots watch them leave as Black, clutching his shoulder, gets back to his feet in between them. He eyes the Scots warily, despite the fact they just saved him, before glaring off in the direction of the leaving V.I.C.E. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 We’re taken backstage into the locker room of Mister Dick, where the man himself paces back and forth, punching his fist in rage. Sitting on the leather sofa watching him unravel are Malaysia Nerdly and Genevieve Duncan. MISTER DICK Son of a god damn bitch! Its been a week, a week, and I’m madder than a man who forgot his wallet on nickel night the whore house! GENEVIEVE Whatever is the problem? MALAYSIA It’s the title match with Reject. MISTER DICK You god damn right it’s the title match with Reject! My daddy warned me about people like Alfdogg. He said “Jock there are two types of men in this world, there are good men and there are bad men. You gotta watch out for the good men, because they’re just bad men playin’ tricks on ya” Alfdogg ain’t nothing but a rotten, low down, no good, bastard and I ain’t got no respect for him or for his authority. Talkin’ all that mess about how he’s helping me prepare for Baron Windells. You ain’t helpin’ me no way no how. You’re just doing favors for your boy Reject. Don’t think I don’t see you, Alfdogg, don’t think I ain’t know the history between you two. I ain’t about to be no monkey in the middle of your stupid little mating dance. Damn it! GENEVIEVE Jock, honey, calm down. MISTER DICK I can’t calm down! GENEVIEVE You’re going to have to, honey, or else your going to raise your blood pressure, and that decreases sexual performance. MALAYSIA Are you sure about that? GENEVIEVE I’m not a doctor but I did play one on TV, General Hospital 1970s, reoccurring role, you probably saw it, and probably loved it, and why wouldn’t you love anything I’m in? But the point I’m making is you have to look at this as a wonderful opportunity, honey. MISTER DICK This ain’t nothin’ but an opportunity to lose my belt and get laughed at by all the damn yokels in the back. GENEVIEVE Honey, you have it all wrong, all wrong. I remember when I was a little girl and my mother used to enter me in all these beauty pagenents. And I kept losing time after time. I could’ve said “Hey all this losing is making me feel ugly, and destroying my self esteem, and creating long lasting resentment to my parents that I will pass down to my ungrateful, mean spirited children, specifically the tall blond one with the big boobs” but instead I took at as an opportunity to grow and improve, and eventually I started to win. And when I heard all those other girls crying and wondering aloud if they’re ugly, do you know what I did? I laughed. Because the pain and suffering of others is funny, honey, it really is. Now go out there and show this Reject person what you’ve got! Mister Dick’s face brightens with excitement. MISTER DICK I’ve got a whole 12 inches for his scrawny Yankee ass! Genevieve applauds Mister Dick's new found enthusiasm.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 HeldDOWN~! Returns MAGGIE NERDLY Alright, welcome back peeps and peepettes, get ready for a treat. We've turfed out the walking bout of PMT that is Holly and yours truly is going to get a chance to call things now. And hopefully, you'll have to put up with a lot less swearing this time Morgan. MORGAN That's good. "When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls pumps through The Garden and a cheer rises up for the entrance of Jade Rodez-Duncan. Not quite the jubilant entrance of her mother, or even as jovial an entrance by her own standards. Favouring her neck, Jade forces a smile and a wave to the crowd as she heads to the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your next contest is set for one fall... introducing first, now residing in Los Angeles, California! She is the Prodigal Daughter of the OAOAST... JJJAAAADDEEEE RRROOOOODDEEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!" MAGGIE Whoo! Go Jade! MORGAN (half hearted) Uhm, yeah.. Jade.. let's go.. Jade slides into the ring and tries to get limbered up, but still looks a little uncomfortable. She notices Maggie cheering her on and gives her a thumbs up. MAGGIE Apparantly, the dudes in the truck want to show everyone why Jade's neck is hurt, so let's roll that footage.Melissa then gets a little cocky, and goes to the top rope, where Jade rolls out of the way of a splash, then gets back on the offense. She sets up Melissa with the Californication, then picks her up and drops her with GOT IT FROM MY MOMMA~! However, instead of going for the cover, she spots Holly attempting to run interference, and cuts her off, ramming her face into the canvas. At the same time, Thunderkid sneaks around and pulls Krista off the apron, sacrificing himself to a beating at her hands as the referee puts Holly out, allowing Reject to sneak up behind Jade and drop her with the EULOGY~! Reject drapes Melissa over the unconscious Jade, then taps the referee, who turns around and counts her out. Alix slides into the ring, as TK escapes to join the victors, as Krista along with Alix check on her still-unconscious daughter. NOW I'M THAT BITCH NOW I'M THAT BITCH NOW I'M THAT BITCH NOW I'M THAT BITCH BUFFER And her opponent. From Las Vegas, Nevada... she is "THE ANGEL OF DEATH"... HHHOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" With Feel Good Drag playing her down the aisle, Holly stomps her way out with a scowl on her face. At first it's a scowl with a smirk looking at the injured Jade. But then, when she gets to ringside, Holly spots Maggie and Morgan and remembers why she's so pissed off. Maggie stands up at the announce table, which unnerves Morgan, not thrilled at the idea of trouble coming their way. But Holly heads into the ring and leaves the Women's Champion be. MAGGIE Alright Jade, you've got this. Shut that dirty mouth of hers up. Holly unleashes that dirty mouth on some of the fans, who being New Yorkers, give as good as they get. *DINGDINGDING* Focusing back on the match, Holly starts to run her mouth at innocent little Jade. And making it very clear, she's going to make her suffer just for even knowing Maggie and Morgan. As they go to lock up, Holly then ducks behind and strikes Jade right in the back of the neck! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Holly clubs away at the injured neck, forcing Jade down to one knee, before grabbing the hair and flinging Jade's head back against the canvas. MAGGIE Way to go, Holly. Taking advantage of an injury. That's awesome. Grabbing the hair again, Holly hurls Jade backwards a second time and berates the referee for warning her about the hair-pulling. And just to further make a point, she gets two good handfuls of the blond locks and uses them to hairmare Jade right across the ring! HOLLY (beep) up, (beep)nuts! The poor referee is too taken aback to give a warning and ends up dropping down to count Holly's pinfall... only to realise that it's not a pin, but a choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Holly breaks on four, with some more unkind words for the official. Jade coughs and splutters on the mat, a grimace on her face. As she tries to get up Jade is then pinned down by a heavy combat boot, placed on the back of her neck, Holly taking the opportunity to start insulting the crowd again. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MAGGIE Gimme a break, what's this about? MORGAN She's a bully. That's all she is. A bully. MAGGIE Well she's not going to be bullying me around on Sunday, I can guarantee that. Once Holly finally lets Jade up, the gallant girl is ready to try and fight back. She catches Holly in the stomach with a punch. A second. And then a third, at which point Holly has enough and clubs Jade across the neck again. Jade is quickly subdued and Holly takes advantage, twisting on the neck and dropping Jade down with a neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Holly gets back to her feet but loses concentration and wanders over to the ropes. HOLLY You better be taking some (beep)in' notes, (beep). This is you, Sunday. MAGGIE Bite me, bitch! MORGAN Stomping back over to Jade, a scowling Holly places her foot back on Jade's neck. After letting her squirm for a while Holly then hits a legdrop and rolls Jade over for another pin attempt... 1... 2... No! Not letting Jade up, Holly gives her a hard stomp to the back. Sitting down, she then puts on a camel clutch to further tear at Jade's aching neck. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" With the crowd behind her, Jade starts to find some energy from somewhere. And she fights her way back to her feet. Still holding onto the chinlock though, Holly waits for the right moment to strike and pulls Jade's head back, headbutting her right in the neck! Jade lets out a pained whimper and falls to one knee. Off the ropes, Holly then follows up with a HARD combat boot, slammed right into the side of Jade's head! The camera cuts to the announce table, where the young Nerdly sisters look on, concerned. MAGGIE Maaan... come on Jade! Holly drops down, making a very lazy cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Unconcerned, Holly strolls around, picking her spots with some stomps. MAGGIE You oughta quit playing around, Holly. Jade's not gonna give up. I know she's not. Holly scoops Jade up and gives her a bodyslam. Coming off the ropes, a big splash connects and Holly covers again... 1... 2... No! Holly quickly puts Jade in a rear chinlock, to moans of pain. MORGAN So... did you actually... you know, see what Holly did earlier? Before Maggie has a chance to answer Holly has turned the chinlock in the direction of the announce table and is spewing obscenities Maggie's way again. MAGGIE Keep talking, Holly. You should be happy about the cage match, you belong in a cage, you're crazy! MORGAN Uh... that's kinda... you shouldn't say stuff like that. MAGGIE My bad. In the middle of her stream of abuse Holly realises that Jade is fighting back up again. And driving in elbows. Three of them to the stomach, enough to break free of the chinlock. Once free, Jade grits her teeth and starts to fight, with a forearm to the jaw. And a second one. With a boot to the gut, Jade then sets up for a DDT. Holly manages to twist out the back though and puts on a sleeper hold. MAGGIE Jade's neck has got to be killing her. Bad neck and all though, Jade has enough left to backpedal and back Holly up into the turnbuckles. Jade staggers away and tries to make a charge in the corner. Stepping out of the way, Holly tries a charge of her own, but Jade manages to kick up her feet and catch Holly coming in with a boot! Holly staggers now, leaving herself vulnerable. Kicking herself up again, Jade wraps her legs around Holly's shoulders and executes a victory roll! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" MAGGIE Yes, count! 1... 2... Kickout! Nursing her neck, Jade is slow to get up in the corner and Holly tries to take advantage. Jade sidesteps though and it's Holly who hits the buckles this time. But the missed charges keep coming. Jade runs in but gets hooked by Holly, wrapping her feet around Jade's head, then lifting the right boot up and SLAMMING it down on the top of the head! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade crumbles and Holly quickly puts her on her shoulder, waiting for the referee to get in position before STICKING HER FEET ON THE ROPES! MORGAN No! 1... 2... Kickout! Fuming, Holly lets the referee have it, convinced she should have won. MORGAN (meekly) She's cheating, ref. As usual. Holly looks to make sure of victory this time, setting Jade up for a dose of Percussion. HOLLY Take a (beep) good (beep) look, (bitch)! I want my (beep) belt back, Sunday! However, Holly takes far too long yelling at a stern faced Maggie and ends up being given an inverted atomic drop!! HOLLY MAGGIE Well, that shut her up. I might have to make a note of that. With Holly doubled up, Jade swings out, pawing Holly with a wild right. Then a left. With a 360 Jade then puts Holly down with the spinning clothesline and the crowd respond! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Feeling some adrenaline pumping, Jade waves Holly back up, ready to go now. Holly gets up, but goes right back down from another clothesline. Wandering into a corner, The Angel Of Death is then struck with a running double knee strike! Winded, Holly is snapmared over by Jade, who follows up with a quick low dropkick in an effort to put Holly down... 1... 2... No! Jade sets Holly up again and this time, she scores with the DDT, a page out of Holly's hubby's playbook! Cover again... 1... 2... NO! MAGGIE This might be the longest Holly's ever gone without cussing or swearing. I kinda like it. Picking her back up, Jade sets Holly up looking to finish her off with Got It From My Momma. Holly breaks the hands away from her chin though and catches Jade in the midsection with a back kick. HOLLY (beep) sake! MAGGIE So much for that. An angry Holly rushes forward with a clothesline, but Jade rolls behind into a schoolgirl! 1... 2... NO! Holly rolls right back up and catches Jade in the side of the head before she can stand, with another shot with her combat boot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The referee warns Holly about some of her tactics again. And getting frustrated, Holly decides she doesn't want to hear it and SHOVES the referee to the ground. MORGAN Hey! MAGGIE Well, it's been real, Morgan. Catch ya later. Dumping her headset Maggie departs the announcer position, while in the ring Holly has Jade set up for the Percussion DDT again. Jade pushes Holly off, the ropes throwing Holly back... right into a collision of heads that puts both girls down! MORGAN What are you doing, Maggie? Sliding into the ring Maggie watches as both Jade and Holly get to their feet. She smirks, watching Jade stumble backwards with her back towards her... ...and turns around to blast Holly with a spinning roundhouse kick!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Maggie slips out of the ring unnoticed and dusts her hands with satisfaction, as Jade turns around and looks to capitalise. Holly picks herself back up and heads towards Maggie, leaning over the ropes and spitting hot venom at her. Which allows Jade to strike from behind, hooking Holly and bringing her down with Got It From My Momma!! MORGAN Oh, Maggie... I don't know if you should have done that... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... JJAAAADDEEE RROOODDEEEEZZZ - DDUUUUUNNCCAAAANN!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Jade rolls over and grabs her neck as her hand is raised in victory, with Maggie looking on with her Women's Title, grinning widely. MAGGIE Thanks for the help, Holly! See you Sunday! As she starts stirring, Holly looks up and there's a piercing glare in her eyes up the aisle aimed at Maggie, who waves her goodbye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 We’re backstage in the world famous interview lounge Where Josh Matthews stands with Chicks Over Dicks. Krista wears a 2010 NBA Champions Los Angeles Lakers t-shirt, while Alix wears a Clippers t-shirt and a button of a sad face. JOSH Hello, everybody! I’m Josh Matthews and I’m standing in the interview lounge with America’s Sweethearts…CHICKS OVER DICKS! Girls, its been a tough couple of weeks for you, incurring three straight losses to the Deadly Alliance. That’s very uncharacteristic of you. KRISTA Very uncharactertistc like? Well, here’s some other things that are very un-COD for you. I really like that Sarah Palin, and not just as a submissive sex slave, but as a cool, wise person and an open minded leader for this country. ALIX And that George W. Bush, what a guy, he sure doesn’t deserve to be dropped from a helicopter into a pit of angry Katrina Victims. KRISTA And you know what else? This whole lesbian thing isn’t really working out for us. Nope we’re just not feeling the muff diving love anymore. What we wouldn’t give for some young stud to throw us on the bed and sexually devour us. JOSH I’d be happy to oblige! ALIX Yippe! I’ll go see if Malaysia will let us borrow the whips and the nipple clamps. JOSH Nipple clamps? On second thought…. KRISTA Actually, Josh, there’s a rather simple explanation for why we’ve incurred all these horrible, miserable, unbelievable, god help me the world is about to end, losses. No Reject and the DA haven’t sold their souls to the devil, my mother has enough of those as it is, the reason we’ve been losing is we’ve been letting our understudies wrestle for us. JOSH Understudies? ALIX Oh totally dude! The life of wrestling five minutes every three weeks while wearing skimpy clothing, and telling jokes our ten man team of writers write for us is totally taxing and takes away from our super hard life of tanning, sleeping, and going down on each other in the rest rooms of four star resturants. Sooooooo, we totally got underbuddies! KRISTA Understudies. And we’d like you to meet them. My understudy is Mark Murphy and Ally’s is Walter Smith. Two rather portly and out of shape looking gentlemen waddle into the scene. KRISTA Guys the world isn’t dying to know anything about you, but there’s a full two hours worth of show to kill so tell us a little bit about yourselves. WALTER My pee smells like popcorn. KRISTA Of course it does. And Mark what do you have to say to further shatter my faith in the human race? WALTER When I was younger I used to clean for this old lady, and sometimes she would be asleep, and she’d sleep with her mouth open, and I’d pull down my pants and I’d… KRISTA Faith in humanity gone. Thanks, Walter. Alix, why don’t you tell ThunderKid and Reject about their new problem. ALIX That I’ve totally convienced a mexican drug lord that they’ve infiltrated their production plant and are replacing their cocaine with baking soda? KRISTA Their other problem. ALIX Oh yeah! You dudes are like totally screwed because at Great Angle Bash it won’t be our underwear you’re fighting! KRISTA Why do I even bother? ALIX It’ll be us! The real us! And that’s a gigantic problem! Like bigger than irritable bowel syndrome! KRISTA I don’t know, explosive bowel movements in the middle of your batmitzvah sounds mighty bad. But regardless as Alix put it with so much class and eloquence “you dudes are screwed” You can beat us in a lot of things, chess, checkers, Wii Sports resort, being the biggest assholes on the planet, but you can never, ever, beat us for the tag team titles. Mister Dick and Malaysia, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, those are just some of the MENSA candidates stupid enough to challenge us for the tag team titles. All we do is win, win, win, no matter what, we’re allergic to losing. So if I were you two, I’d grab a diet coke, sit on the curb, and rethink this course of action, because fighting us isn’t a way to the top of tag division, it’s a way into the bottom of a dumpster. And in the dumpster you might find such things as Christian Wright’s mother. ALIX CPA’s career. KRISTA An entire collection Michael Douglas movies. ALIX A whole lot of MTV Movie Awards. KRISTA And the 24/7 title. Point is, you’ll have some good company in that dumpster, fellas. Understudies, anything to say? WALTER My arm pits taste like gummy bears! ALIX Gummy bears rule! KRISTA Can I petition to tag with one of The Love Doctors instead? CUE:: LAUGH TRACK KRISTA No seriously, this shit is starting to get annoying.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Terry Taylor is at the entrance, with the Wheel behind him. TERRY OK folks, as announced last week, We have a Best-of-7 series starting up for the Heartland title, and the first match is at the Great Angle Bash this Sunday in Dallas. Here to spin the wheel and decide the first match, is the challenger, and former Heartland champion, Denzel Spencer!Master Blaster (Jammin') plays Denzel out to the wheel, as the crowd gives him a big ovation. As he comes out, the camera focuses in on the wheel, revealing the matches. I Quit Match Iron Man Match Ladder Match Empty Arena Match Singapore Lumberjack Match Falls Count Anywhere Match Finishers Only Match Scaffold Match Evening Gown Match First Blood Match Last Man Standing Match Bullrope Match Tables Match Steel Cage Match Taped Fist Match Coal Miners Glove Match Watts Rules Match Street Fight Hard 10 Match Spinners' Choice TERRY OK, we've seen all the choices on the wheel, so Denzel, give it a spin, let's see what we come up with! Denzel grabs the wheel, then takes a breath and spins. The crowd looks on intently as the wheel makes its revolutions and begins to slow down. COACH It's stopping, Cole, what do we got? The camera focuses in as the wheel stops on... TAYLOR There it is folks, Match 1 will be a STREET FIGHT! COLE Wow! It's a street fight in the first match, as Sandman9000 takes the place of Thunderkid! TAYLOR And of course, the winner of each match spins the wheel for the next, so if Denzel comes out victorious in this street fight, he'll be right back here spinning the wheel again! Good luck this Sunday, Denzel, and now back to Sofa Central! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 COLE Fans, earlier tonight, we found out that at The Great Angle Bash this Sunday, we will see a Ladder Match for the United States Title between the current Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, and the #1 Contender, Spencer Reiger! Reiger made this rematch a Ladder Match because he believes that he has found Tha Puerto Rican's weakness! What does the U.S. Champion have to say about this? Well, standing by with his comments regarding his upcoming match at The Great Angle Bash is the reigning United States Champion, Tha Puerto Rican! The camera cuts to the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! interview set where Tha Puerto Rican is standing by. The crowd cheers loudly. A "P.R.!" chant breaks out. PRL is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a silk shirt with Puerto Rican flags all over it, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, a silver ring on his right ring finger, black dress pants with a leather belt and black dress shoes. P.R. is holding the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his left shoulder. THA PUERTO RICAN Spencer Reiger, you think that you can scare Tha Puerto Rican by making our rematch a Ladder Match? You think that you have found Tha Puerto Rican's achilles' heel? You think that you are going to just waltz into Cowboys Stadium and just take the United States Title away from Tha Puerto Rican? Spencer Reiger, you...are an imbecile. "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" THA PUERTO RICAN You are an imbecile if you think it is going to be that easy! You are an imbecile if you think that a damn ladder is what will stop Tha Puerto Rican from successfully retaining his United States Title at The Great Angle Bash! You are an imbecile for thinking that Tha Puerto Rican even *has* an achilles' heel in the first place! Spencer Reiger, Tha Puerto Rican says that on June the 27th, he is going to walk down The People's Ramp, slide into The People's Ring and whoop your monkey ass all over Dallas, Texas! And once he's done doing that, Tha Puerto Rican is going to grab The People's Ladder and climb up it, rung...by rung...by damn rung! Until he is standing tall over your candy ass! And once he is up top, he is going to gently unhook the U.S. Title belt and raise it up high and raise it up proudly as the millions... "...AND MILLIONS!" THA PUERTO RICAN ...of Lightning Bolts chant his name! "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" "P.R.!" THA PUERTO RICAN Spencer Reiger, Tha Puerto Rican isn't allergic to ladders. He is not afraid of ladders. He can climb a ladder perfectly fine, thank you very much! And Tha Puerto Rican WILL climb a ladder at The Great Angle Bash and WILL obtain the United States Championship and WILL beat you. Again. And THAT, Spencer Reiger, is the truth, Ruth! The Champ Has SPO-KUN~!!! The crowd cheers loudly as Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow. (Cut to Sofa Central) COACH Yo, homeboy is done. Dude can't climb a ladder if he was being chased by alligators, tigers AND the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers! He's finished. The U.S. Title is coming to Spencer Reiger, back to the LDC Moneygang, and back to The Enterprise! Best believe that! COLE A lot is on the line this Sunday. A Ladder Match for the United States Championship. Can Tha Puerto Rican win a Ladder Match for the first time in his career? Or will Spencer Reiger bring the United States Title back to The Enterprise? It should be a barn burner this Sunday night, June 27th, LIVE only on pay-per-view! It's The Great Angle Bash: All-American Beatdown! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Magnum Opus hits, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. COLE And here comes the new OAOAST President as of last week, Alfdogg, who promised to be ringside for this World title match! Alf stops midway down the aisle, and waves someone out. After a few seconds, a huge man wearing a suit and sunglasses comes lumbering down the aisle. COACH Who is this coming out? The big man meets up with Alf, who instructs him to stand at the end of the aisle and watch the entryway. COLE Alf calling out this giant of a man, who I believe to be former OAOAST star Deon Black! COACH Well, Black wrestled under a mask here in the OAOAST, but there aren't too many men around that are his size, well over 7 feet tall and around 500 pounds!Final Ride hits, and the crowd erupts as Reject makes his way through the curtains. COLE A tremendous ovation for the hometown boy, Reject! Reject walks down the aisle, and climbs into the ring, then waits as Motherfucker of the Year hits, as the arena fills with boos, and Mr. Dick makes his way out. COLE And again, Reject's first title shot since AngleMania! MD climbs up the steps slowly, and into the ring. Black stands guarding the end of the aisle, as MD gets into his corner. *DING DING DING* BUFFERLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for the MAIN EVENT of HeldDOWN~! Tonight, a rematch of the main event of the biggest event of the year, AngleMania IX! Introducing, to my left, the challenger! *crowd cheers* BUFFERHe hails from the Bronx, right here in New York, and weighs 229 1/2 pounds! He is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and tonight, he gets his first rematch at the title he lost three months ago. Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger, a former two-time OAOAST Champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECT!!!!! *crowd cheers* BUFFERAnd ladies and gentlemen, his opponent! *crowd boos* BUFFERHe hails from San Antonio, Texas, and weighs in at 238 pounds! Here is the man who took the title three months ago at AngleMania IX, and tonight, he looks to repeat history. Introducing the REIGNING, and DEFENDING, OAOAST Champion of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...MMMMMMMMMMMMMISSSSSSSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!! *crowd boos* BUFFERLadies and gentlemen...it is now time for the event. ARE YOU READY? *crowd cheers* BUFFERNew York City...ARRRRRRRRE YOUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????? *crowd cheers* BUFFERThen for the thousands in attendance here in Madison Square Garden, and the millions and millions watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *DING DING DING*OAOAST World title: Mr. Dick © vs Reject Reject started out with the advantage, as the raucous hometown crowd egged him on. However, MD was able to take advantage by catching him with a knee out of the ropes, and controlled the match for several minutes, with some devastating power moves, and an assault on the outside which included shoving Reject into the ropes. Reject eventually was able to reclaim the advantage, hitting several of his patented moves, finishing with a missile dropkick, getting several near-falls. MD inexplicably tried to crawl under the ring, but Reject stopped him. Malaysia Nerdly, unnoticed by all but Mr. Dick, slipped out from the other side of the ring, and pulled the referee from the ring as he was about to count three after Reject countered the Pure Penetration into the Eulogy. The referee called for the bell, DQ'ing the champ, then as Alf checked on the referee, he found himself on the ground courtesy of a Malaysia clothesline! Malaysia then revived MD, and a double-team ensued on Reject, as the crowd booed loudly. Malaysia brought a chair into play as MD held Reject from behind, but Malaysia instead took a swing at the recovering Alf, who ducked and hooked Malaysia in the Sharpshooter, while at the same time Reject broke free of MD with a low-blow, and hooked the champ in the R-Lock! The show ended with the surreal scene of MD and Malaysia tapping to stereo submission holds from Reject and Alf as the crowd went ballistic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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