Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- The show opens with BARON WINDELS already in the ring surrounded by OAOAST officials. COLE We are LIVE from Richmond, Virginia for HeldDOWN~! And as you can see a very emotional Baron Windels-- COACH Has taken the show hostage. I guess you can say HeldDOWN~! is being held down. COLE The Lone Star Gunslinger still hot over what happened Sunday night at School’s Out when Mr. Dick -- his own partner -- brutally attacked him backstage prior to their tag team title defense for reasons that remain unknown. Pacing frantically BW ignores requests to leave the ring. Not even TIM CASH can get him to budge. BARON I don’t give a damn how long it takes… I ain’t leaving till I shove my boot so far up Jock’s ass he can floss with my laces! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Is that even possible? COLE I wouldn’t want to be the guy who finds out. “Motherfucker of the Year” cues but Mr. Dick is nowhere to be found. Finally the music dies and MD appears on the AngleTron alongside Malaysia with the OAOAST World title draped over his shoulder. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MISTER DICK Howdy my former partner! *laughs* What’s the matter, forgot your cryin’ towel? I told the world at School’s Out I rely on my instincts, and my instincts said to dump your weak ass. See, I gave ya a second chance, but time and time again you proved to be a giant pussy just like your new BUTT buddy Tim Cash. You couldn’t accept a win as a win. No, you had to do things the right way. Well the right way left you in a pool of your own blood at School’s Out! BARON Quit hiding and get your ass out here, you son of a bitch! MISTER DICK You think I’m hiding? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MISTER DICK Son, I’m protecting you from me. COLE (laughs) COACH Shut up, you idiot. MISTER DICK I’ll deal with you later on. Right now I wanna address COD because tonight Malaysia and I are demanding a return match for the One & Only World tag team championship. “Girlfriend” cues and the OAOAST Galaxy explodes, but thankfully not like the planet Krypton. COLE Listen to this ovation! COACH What? COLE I think you’re a mean jerk! COACH You’re a homo? Tell us something we don’t already know. COD walk to the ring and soak in the crowd reaction. “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” COD raise their newly won tag titles proudly in the air. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" KRISTA (holding up her tag team title) There’s gold in them durr hills! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Yeaaaaaaaaaaa! And how about a yeaaaaaaaaaaaa for Mister Dick? MISTER DICK Damn right. You’re smarter than I thought. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Alix and Krista showing respect for their opponent. ALIX No boo! Bad audience, bad! Give him a “yeaaaaaaaah“….for being the most totally obnoxious jerk in the history of human kind! MISTER DICK Never mind. KRISTSA Because without Mister Dick being such a despicable human being that a urinal patty looks like a good conversation in comparassion we’d never have the motivation to son him into oblivion like we did at Schools’ Out! Just think if we were fighting Baron Windells and Tim Cash, two people who don’t make us want to gouge our eyes out with a safety pin, we might still be five time tag team champions. But because we fought a guy who talks like Yosimite Sam and looks like Rupaul’s white lover we had all the motivation we need to kick ass! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MISTER DICK The hell? You ain’t got no right and no business talking those kind of words to me. You’re lucky I’m right here and not out there. But listen good you fake tits having bimbo, I ain’t gonna take any of yer disrespect tonight! KRISTA Or what? You’ll beat my ass? Sorry, loser, you tried and failed on Sunday. Thank you come again. ALIX It feels great to be a tag team champion for a sixth time! Its like when my brother wouldn’t stop wetting the bed and my dad got really pissed off, and he got really drunk one day, and he broke into my brother’s room with a rifle and said if you wet the bed one more time its curtains for you, and my brother pissed himself, and my dad DIDN’T shoot him like he promised. Boy, was my brother happy! Then he through down the gun and came into my room when I was half asleep, and I felt his hands around my boobs, but it was cool because he said he was performing a breast cancer exam and not molesting me, and the weird white liquid I felt on my stomach was just cream to test for stomach cancer. I have the best dad ever! And I know he’d be so proud of me if they let him have a TV at the maximum security prison he lives in. I love you dad. KRISTA I….I….nevermind. It looks like Chicks Over Dicks has gone from being the hunter, to the hunted. Damn, that was clever. I bet no one has ever said that before in the history of pro wrestling. MISTER DICK And it’s open season on your ass. So I suggest you forfeit the tag titles to save yourselves one helluva ass pounding. KRISTA Oh, there’s gonna be a rematch alright, but you’re not getting it. As far as we’re concerned, Baron Windels deserves the rematch. MISTER DICK & MALAYSIA BARON KRISTA I don’t mean to get all sentimental, but Baron’s been good to us. A lot of people think we hate dicks. That’s not true. We happen to have dicks. CROWD KRISTA We have a plastic dick, a rubber dick, a glass dick, a white dick, a black dick, a Peter North replica dick, and a double dick. And we love our dicks very much. Its just Mister Dick we can’t stand. Baron Windells? Why that’s just a really long word for friend. He didn’t get a chance to defend his half of the tag titles so we’re giving him and Cash the shot instead. MISTER DICK This is bullshit! We should be getting that title shot tonight, not them. ALIX We never said anything about a title shot tonight, silly. A little birdie -- well, more like a red rooster -- told us Baron’s already booked for tonight. MISTER DICK Then it's settled. Malaysia and I get the title shot tonight! KRISTA Eh, I’m afraid not, Dickey. That same rooster told us you’re booked yourself. Let me ask you: when’s the last time you’ve defended the World title on TV? MISTER DICK Oh shit. KRISTA Uh-huh. Tonight you’re putting the title on the line against Baron Windels! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MISTER DICK BARON ALIX Good luck. KRISTA Good luck alright. *laughs* BW receives a high five from Cash as MD slams the World title down backstage. COLE Baron Windels vs. Mr. Dick for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title tonight! Oh my! KRISTA Time to clear up some bidness, my young homies. Look, this private message goes out to all the tag teams in the OAOAST so check your inboxes and listen up! Chicks Over Dicks are back on top of the world, and we’re the greatest tag team of all time, so if you want- ::Cue:: Tru-Final Ride Much to the crowd’s immense displeasure, Reject, wearing a Yankees jersey and jean shorts emerges with ThunderKid, wearing a black leather jacket and black denim pants. The two men make their way down the entrance ramp, coming to a stop at the very end. REJECT Isn’t this touching, a celebration between six time tag team champions and the OAOAST Galaxy. COLE What do these two want? We saw ThunderKid in the Sunday Detention match where he won the Heartland title in a hard fought contest, but Reject’s been laying low ever since he lost his world title to Mister Dick at Anglemania. REJECT I enjoyed you smoking Jock, I couldn’t have done it better myself. Well, I probably could have, but I didn’t, so bravo to you. Watching him lay flat on his back with his title dreams fading away, brought a tear of joy to these withered cheeks. Thanks for that! I even enjoyed your little victory speech. It was incredibly funny. Who needs Sarah Silverman and Wanda Sykes when you’ve got Alix and Krista hanging around to crack wise. Yep, I enjoyed it up until one part. THUNDERKID The part where you said you’re the greatest tag team of all time. KRISTA Oh boy, here it comes. The stereotypical person says they’re the greatest, other person takes issue they feud until creative decides they have nothing for them, we wish you the best in your future endeavors. Just once can’t someone feud with me over my views on how best to handle Somali Islamic extremists? REJECT I don’t care about Somalia. I don’t even know where it is on the stupid map. KRISTA The sad thing is you say that with pride. Hi I’m Reject, I like the Yankees, going to movies, playing softball, and being completely ignorant of world geography. THUNDERKID Will you shut up and let us talk? REJECT Calm down, TK. We all like to crack jokes, and have a good time, have a good laugh. But there’s nothing funny about you joking about being the greatest tag team of all time. ALIX Uh, dude, it wasn’t a joke. You wearing jean shorts in 2010, that’s a joke, us being the greatest tag team ever sure ain’t. REJECT It must’ve been because as far as I can remember, none of you two have ever mainevented Anglemania. You’ve never been center stage at the biggest show in the history of sports entertainment. I have. You’ve never taken Alfdogg to his limits. You’ve never led the most legendary stable in all of sports entertainment. You’ve never held the WDW world title- KRISTA Nice job, you held the world championship of the fed that gave us Vinny Valentine. Let’s have a parade! ALIX Oooooh I love parades! Will Al Roker be there? CASH I think Al Roker is a national treasure. REJECT Vinny Valentine is a New York boy, so he’s cool with me. You haven’t been a two time X Division champion like me, and you’ve never won Battlebowl like I have. Where’s your three Heartland title reigns that ThunderKid has? Do you have the North American title reigns he does? ALIX No but we don’t have to pay for sex like he does. THUNDERKID I don’t pay for sex! REJECT At least not always. THUNDERKID Shut up. REJECT Alright, easy, easy. Our two tag team title reigns are the stuff legends are made out of. We redefined what it meant to be tag team champions. We’re the Michael Jordan of tag teams, we revolutionized the game. You’re just like your hometown hero Kobe Bryant- ALIX Actually I’m a Clippers fan! KRISTA That’s why I’m cheating on you. REJECT Like Kobe to Jordan you’re only following in our footsteps, trying to imitate what greatness came before you. You may have more title runs than us- KRISTA Four more to be exact. REJECT But you’ve never had the impact on the tag division that we had. We set the bar for you, the Cobras, the Rockers, Team Heyross, everyone. THUNDERKID We are the greatest tag team of all time! COLE These two are delusional. “YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!” KRISTA Unless Nickelback and Coldplay just walked into the room, I think these fine American’s are talking to you! ALIX Whatever, I love Nickelback. KRISTA And that’s another reason why I’m cheating on you. REJECT We don’t suck because we’re not from Richmond! CASH That kind of comment is uncalled for. ALIX Oooooh diss, you gonna take that, Richmond? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” ALIX Boo? Oh my god, is that all you got? My grandmother can boo, and she’s a prostiute! Throw some garbage at them. THUNDERKID Don’t you dare. Don’t you even think about it! REJECT Don’t worry they don’t have the guts to do something like that.GARBAGE IS THROWN!!!! THUNDERKID God damn it! I hate all of you! As far the fans hurl debris and crap at the hated heels, the duo have no other choice but to beat a hasty retreat. With tails tucked between their legs, the two disappear behind the entrance doors. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” ALIX Well, you know what they say about garbage and the OAOAST. KRISTA Both should be immediately discarded to the newest landfill, before the rancid stench overpowers society and rots its mind. ALIX Yeah! BARON Reject, ThunderKid, you got exactly what you deserved! And I know if COD gets into the squared circle with you they’re going to mop the floor with you just like I’m going to do to Jock tonight! Girlfriend cues back up and Alix and Krista celebrate with the cheering audience. COACH Yo, give Richmond a yellow card ‘cause that was foul! How you gonna treat a two time world champion and the current Heartland champion so disrespectfully? COLE I believe the disrespect lies with ThunderKid and Reject thinking they're the greatest tag team in OAOAST history above record holding six time champions. Reject and ThunderKid may have come before Chicks Over Dicks, but Alix and Krista, like Kobe Bryant has done to Michael Jordan has surpassed their level of greatness. Folks, we'll be back with more HeldDOWN~! after this!COMING UP NEXT WOMEN'S TITLE MATCHMAGGIE NERDLY VS HOLLYNEXT! COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Returning from break, we find ourselves in the Deadly Alliance dressing room where Reject and TK sit doused in filth. REJECT TK SANDMAN TK They have got to pay. A man's gotta have his respect if he's got to have anything. They tried to take our respect. REJECT Don't worry. I have a plan. A pretty damn good one at that. To ringside we go where a wooden door appears on stage as Livvi Franc sings the anthem of jilted girls across the world. NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH Now I’m That Bitch comes into Anberlin’s slick Feel Good Drag, bringing out boos from the sold out audience. Jeers grow even louder as Holly’s combat boots kick down the wooden door! She stands atop its remains, holding up her title and shooting a scowl towards the hateful audience. Behind her Abdullah performs a holy dance in an attempt to bring her good fortune in this upcoming match. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is for the OAOAST Women’s Title and it is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of forty minutes! Now making her way to the ring being accompanied by Abdullah Abir Nerdly, she is the OAOAST Women’s Champion, from Las Vegas, Nevada…..HOLLLLYYYYYYYY! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Holly meets the boos with fierce and fiery rebuttal, thrusting her title in the face of the front row fans and daring them to fight her. COLE Folks, Holly beat Maggie at School’s Out thanks to two Percussion DDTs. Normally this match wouldn’t take place. But Holly actually asked for it! She said she has so much fun beating Maggie that she’d like to do it again. To the top rope goes Holly, where she points to the audience and rather loudly throws them under a fire of vulgarities.Crush Crush Crush CrushCrushCrush OneTwoThreeFour With Paramore’s powerful tune ringing through the audience’s ears, Maggie Nerdly runs onto an entrance stage filled with white smoke and green lights. Wearing a white bridal viel, the baby of the Nerdly symbol flashes the the RAWK hand signal and waves her gorgeous bouquet of flowers. BUBUFFER And the challenger! From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the OAOAST’s very own “IT GIRL” MAAAAAGIEEEEEEE NERDDDDDLYYYYYYYYY! Holly leans over the ropes and directs a vile and cruel stare at her opponent. Maggie ignores the hatred cast her way, however, to slap hands with the audience like every other OAOAST babyface not named Krista. COLE This could very well be Maggie’s final opportunity to become the OAOAST Women’s Champion. Holly displayed a lot of arrogance asking for this match. Could Maggie make her pay? Maggie skips to the center of the ring, where she points her flower arrangement to each turnbuckle, sending green pyro missiles exploding through the air. Once that's done she tosses the bouquet back to the cheering audience members. COLE No Morgan in this one, just Maggie and Holly, perhaps for the last time. DING DING DING Holly circles a firm faced Maggie, mocking the younger girl with cruel words. Eventually Maggie can take no more insults and lunges at Holly for a lockup. But her exuberance costs her dearly as Holly easily throws her over with a side headlock takedown. “LET’S GO MAGGIE! LET’S GO MAGGIE! LET’S GO MAGGIE!” Holly wrenches on Maggie’s neck as she yells for the audience to be silent. Maggie struggles for her freedom, but the strength of Holly keeps her locked into the hold. Several seconds pass before Maggie is able to fight her way to her feet with the hold still applied. Now upright the youngest Nerdly girl attempts to back suplex the champion. But the ravishing redhead slings her body forward with a bulldog and keeps the hold applied. COLE Holly has slowed down any momentum Maggie may have had to start this contest. Holly works over Maggie’s neck with vicious grinding and tweaking while the girl’s highlighted hair falls across her fishnet clad arms. Maggie kicks her legs and thrashes in Holly’s grip but can do nothing to mount an escape. HOLLY Give up! Give up! Maggie refuses to submit to such a simple hold and continues to fight, this time by pressing her hands beneath Holly’s chin. This manages to weaken The Angel Of Death’s hold enough for Holly to fight back to her feet. The super cute Nerdly girl then places her hands onto Holly’s back and attempts to shove her away. But Holly drops to her knees and flings Maggie back first to the ground with another takedown. COLE Maggie just can’t escape! ABDULLAH Submit ye wicked sinner! Submit to a Heavenly Angel’s judgement! Maggie wraps her thin bare legs around Holly’s neck, choking the champion. This forces, Holly to break her hold and she quickly wheels to her feet. Maggie follows her upright and begins firing off a wave of forearms. COLE Here we go! Holly lashes out with a lariat but Maggie catches onto her arm and sits out nailing her with the Deodorator! ABDULLAH Come to me, my angel, come to me and heal! Holly seems to think that’s a good idea and tries to make a quick retreat through the ropes. But Maggie grabs onto her stringy red hair and drags her back towards the center of the ring. Maggie traps her inside a hammerlock, which instantly puts a look of panic onto Holly’s face. COLE Happiness is Edmonton in your rearview mirror? COACH What?! COLE That’s the name of her hammerlock DDT. Don’t you do your research? COACH I know her bra size, and her favorite colour of underwear, so yes. Holly uses her free arm to elbow Maggie in the face, and after several shorts she comes upon her freedom. She takes a moment to shakeoff the cob webs before snap marring Maggie to the canvas. The Angel Of Death then swings a combat boot into Maggie’s head that causes the audience to wince and Maggie to topple over to the canvas. Holly makes a pinfall and referee Earl Hebner counts… ONE! TWO! Maggie throws her shoulder off the canvas! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Angered Holly grabs Maggie into a reverse chinlock. She wrenches and torques on the hold, making it more of a choke than a chinlock. But Maggie holds strong and refuses to submit. The audience sees her strength and immediately gets behind it, singing her name and clapping their hands. This leads Holly to yell at them for silence, but it also helps Maggie to her feet. She levels elbows into the exposed section of Holly’s stomach and eventually breaks free of the chinlock. COCOLE Maggie got her way out, but what can she do now? Doubled over in agony, Holly can only watch Maggie bounce off the ropes. But she’s pleased to see Maggie’s brother Abdullah grab onto her tennis shoe. Thinking Maggie distracted, Holly rushes over to attack the baby of the Nerdly family. But Maggie is well aware of Holly’s presence and lowers the ropes so that Holly goes toppling onto Abdullah! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH That’s a man of the cloth! Abdullah quickly scurries to his feet and helps a furious Holly do the same. She dares Maggie to come fight her, which is a horribly poor idea as Maggie leaps over the ropes and wipes out both Holly and her elder brother with a plancha! “MAGGIE! MAGGIE! MAGGIE!” the fans sing as the It Girl offers them high fives and thumbs up! Holly comes to her feet and is promptly pounced on by Maggie. The Nerdly kid assails Holly with forearms before whipping her into the ring steps. Holly’s shoulder collides with the blue stairs and she lets out a stream of pained profanities. Unfortunatley for her, she’s given no time to recover as Maggie picks her off the canvas to slam her face first into the announce table. Maggie then pumps up the audience and charges at Holly. But Holly backdrops the It Girl and sends her tumbling over the table onto Coach’s lap. COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! Coach’s pleasure is short lived, however, as the always dour Holly yanks Maggie away from the announce table. She roughly dumps her back into the ring, and then runs up the stairs onto the ring apron. HOLLY You’re dead, bitch! Holly slingshots herself into the ring and attempts to come down across Maggie’s body with a splash! But The It Girl slides out the way and Holly painfully crashes into the canvas. She curses her ill luck, but manages to use the ropes to pull herself upright. Unfortunatley for her, Maggie is also upright and dropkicks her over the ropes! Holly lands on the ring apron in a heap, grunting her agony. COACH Bring Maggie back! I deserve her! COLE Will you calm down? Maggie charges off the ropes in an effort to tackle Holly off the ring apron. But The Angel Of Death avoids such a fate by lowering her body and shoulder blocking Maggie’s stomach! With Maggie hobbled by the sudden pain, Holly rolls back into the ring with a sunset flip! However, Maggie refuses to go down! Instead she goes up in the air for a double stomp! Thankfully for Holly’s fetching features she’s able to hastily roll out the way. COLE Logan Mann would’ve been incensed! No one wants a wife with a mashed in face. COACH At this point, I’ll take what I can get. Holly rolls upright, but is met with a torrent of forearms that back her into the corner. Weakened by the strikes, she’s easily able to be forced atop the turnbuckle by her younger opponent. COLE Maggie’s got something big in store! The Edmonton native climbs to the top rope and fires up the audience. But playing to the crowd may have been a costly error as Holly shoves her away. Maggie lands on her feet, however, giving hope to the audience. That hope is dashed, however, when Holly shoots forward for a hurricanarana! But Maggie counters it into a powerbomb! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Big move by a little girl! Hebner counts the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE-NO ABDULLAH PUTS HOLLY’S FOOT ONTO THE ROPES “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Maggie is understandably outraged and goes over to the edge of the ring to give Abdullah an earfaul of anger. Once she’s properly told off her sibling, she turns her attention to Holly. That’s exactly when she’s rolled into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie makes a crucial kickout, earning a pop from the sold out audience. Holly and Maggie spring to their feet, where Holly attempts to draw first blood with a haymaker. But Maggie uses her forearm to shield herself from the blow. She then leans close to Holly and… MAGGIE SCREAMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ears ringing, Holly staggers away and clutches her head. There isn’t much time for recovery however, as Maggie runs forward and strikes her with a face crusher! The It Girl then puts herself off the ropes and comes back to land a senton across Holly’s chest! Maggie then grabs hold of Holly’s bare legs, and falls backwards to slingshot her into the corner. But Holly lands her combat boots onto the second ropes. She takes a moment to laud her accomplishment, which is not the greatest of ideas as Maggie captures her onto her shoulders. From there the spunky Canadian falls backwards and dumps Holly to the canvas with an electric chair drop. COACH Maggie’s short so there’s really no way that fall could’ve hurt. The pained expression on Holly’s face betrays Coach’s commentary. While Holly struggles to her feet, the little Nerdly girl makes her way to the top rope. Problematically for her Abdullah has take a trip to the ring apron. ABDULLAH Sweet child, reconsider your wicked ways and come to the heart of the prophets, submit to The Angel Of Death. Peeved at her brother’s interference, Maggie kicks him away. But Abdullah’s distraction came with a cost; Holly kicks out Maggie’s legs, crotching her on the ring posts. COLE That’s just not fair! Holly climbs to the top rope, and weakens Maggie with a series of vile headbutts. Now dizzied and weary, Maggie is easily captured into a front facelock. From there Holly falls backwards and punishes Maggie with a superplex! As soon as the two hit the canvas, Holly floats over for a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! Maggie pops out the pinfall! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Holly has a few choice words for referee Earl Hebner as she guides Maggie to her feet. She shoves the challenger into the corner where she blasts her with stomps to her midsection. Once done with that attack pattern, Holly lifts Maggie onto her shoulder and throws her forward for a stomach crusher. Maggie wails her misery, and clutches her now bruised stomach. She can’t protect herself for long, however, as Holly pries away her arms and begins driving her combat boots into her midsection. COACH Holly’s a killer, Mikey. COLE She certainly is, she’s got the advantage in the contest and she’s going to attempt to beat poor Maggie into submission. Through with stomping Maggie, Holly drops to the canvas and suffocates her with a choke. Hebner makes an immediate count… ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Holly breaks at 4.99999999, and flashes a phony smile at the referee. She grabs onto Maggie’s highlighted hair and brings the little girl to her feet. Her arms find their way around her head for a front facelock, and she lifts her into the air before sitting out and slamming her stomach first onto the canvas. COLE A sitout gordbuster, a variation of Christian Wright’s stockmarket crash. Holly rolls Maggie over onto her back and makes a rather lax cover… ONE! TWO! Maggie kicksout, bringing relief to the audience. Less relieved is Abdullah, who all but damns Hebner to an eternity in hell. While her manager deals with the referee, Holly runs to the ropes. When she returns she drops a knee across Maggie’s stomach. Another pinfall soon follows…. ONE! TWO! Maggie has the strength to kickout! COLE There’s a lot of fight in that little body of hers. Holly loudly curses her failings as she pulls Maggie towards her feet. She tags the girl with several elbows to the face before heading to the ropes. The cables spit her back and she drops to her knees to smack Maggie in her sore stomach. Maggie’s doubled over in pain and Holly is able to catch her inside a front facelock. She then hooks onto Maggie’s leg and soon the youngest Nerdly child is being swung around with The Mirage! COLE Oh no! The audience has a similar reaction as Hebner drops down to count the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Maggie somehow manages to lift her shoulder off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans react as Holly slams her hands into the canvas in rage. HOLLY How the (beep) is that not a three count?! Grumbling to herself, Holly takes off to the ropes. She returns and GET SPEARED BY MAGGIE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Exhausted, Maggie falls over to her side and winces in agony. Its with great stress that she drapes her arm across Holly’s chest… ONE! TWO! Holly kicksout! COLE A close three count! Holly and Maggie roll to their feet and exchange punches. Maggie gains the upperhand in the war and pushes herself back against the ropes. She comes back and leaps into the air for a hurricanrana, but Holly counters it into a powerbomb! Hebner drops down for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Maggie leans up and reverses the pinfall! ONE! TWO! Holly kicks out the fall and pops straight up to her feet. Maggie does the same, but is faced with a lunging forearm. But she blocks the attack with her own forearm and then sends Holly toppling to the canvas with a roundhouse kick! COLE Don’t taze me, bro! COACH Tell that to Morgan! Nursing a now ringing head, Holly slowly comes off the canvas. But as she does so her arms are hooked and she’s brought back down for a backslide… ONE! TWO! Holly powers herself out the pinfall. She’s “helped” to her feet by Maggie, who shoves into the corner to terroize her with knife edge chops. Holly tries to shield herself against the blows, but Maggie then turns to clubbing her in the back. Thus The Angel Of Death has little choice but to kick Mags in her sore stomach. COLE Holly went right back to that injured midsection of Maggie. Holly hooks on a front facelock and grabs hold of Maggie’s leg. COACH Check your eyes, because you’re about to see a Mirage! Holly swings around and slams Maggie into the corner posts! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” As Maggie winces in agony, Holly holds her still for a crucial pinfall….. ONE! TWO! Maggie gets a foot on the ropes, stunning both Holly and the audience. Taking umbrage with this action, The Angel of Death gets in the referee’s face and gives him an earful. That’s promptly when she’s rolled up by Maggie! ONE! TWO! THRE-ABDULLAH REACHES INTO THE RING AND PULLS MAGGIE OFF HOLLY! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The boo birds grow even louder as Abdullah SLAPS his younger sister! COLE Totally uncalled for! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” The cause of the fans’ cheer is little Morgan Nerdly rushing down the entrance ramp as fast her tiny legs can carry her. She enters the ring and is immediately confronted by Abdullah, who threatens her with the promise of eternal damnation. Not much of a talker, Morgan lets her actions speak for her…ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE She shocked him again! Elsewhere Maggie executes a hammerlock DDT on Holly, who was riddled stunned and immobilized by the events! COLE Happiness is Edmonton in your rearview mirror! COACH I’ll say, Edmonton sucks. Maggie makes a pivotal pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Earl Hebner raises Maggie’s hand as a smile as wide as all of Canada spreads across her face. Tears roll down her cheeks, and her expression is one of genuine happiness. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and NEW OAOAST Women’s Champion….MAGGIE NERDLY! Maggie takes her newly won title and ascends to the top the turnbuckle. She winks to the audience and flashes the RAWK hand signal to a roaring reception. We cut backstage to see PRL clapping his hands and celebrating his girlfriend’s win with Colombian Heat and Victor Perez. COLE Maggie Nerdly is a two time OAOAST Women’s Champion! COACH Thanks to Morgan! Maggie doesn’t forget the assist handed to her by her sister and gives her an heartfelt and warm hug. COLE Its about time someone showed Morgan some genuine affection.TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT WORLD TITLE MATCHBARON WINDELS VS MISTER DICKTONIGHT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 We find ourselves in Josie’s office, which is enveloped in a fog of rage. Consumed by a passionate anger, Holly decimates the area, overturning furniture, ripping down pictures, and becoming a hurricane of pure madness. A fearful Josie watches this destructive fit with a smirking Logan Mann. HOLLY Ahhhhhh! (beep) shit! Mother (beep) I can’t believe this horseshit! JOSIE Make her stop! LOGAN How am I supposed to do that? JOSIE Say something! Holly’s combat boots succeed in kicking a hole in the wall. HOLLY (beep) this whole (beep) planet! LOGAN Sorry, toots, there’s no stopping her when she gets like this. You just got to ride out the wave and pray you don’t get swept up in it. Prayers will do nothing to help Josie as a lamp flies past her head at alarming speed. HOLLY I will (beep) kill every last (beep) sucker in this building! JOSIE I can’t afford to ride out the wave! Holly is the one who asked for the match! I didn’t want to make it! I knew Morgan would try something! Holly! HOLLY What?! JOSIE If you will calm down and leave my office alone, I will give you a rematch with Maggie at the Great Angle Bash in a steel cage so no one can interfere. How does that sound? HOLLY (beep) lovely! JOSIE And as a show of good faith to avenge Colonel Abdullah’s injuries I’m also booking Morgan against Abdullah. LOGAN He's going to love that. JOSIE So will I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 We're whisked away backstage, to the royal throne room. Yes, there's a throne room now. Sat in all their splendour, decked in royal outfits and oblivious to how silly they look, are the King and Queen of the OAOAST, Queen Esther and King Landon Maddix. Off at the side, not so royal, Josh Matthews pokes in with a microphone. MATTHEWS King Landon, this past weekend at School's Out, things... didn't quite go so well for the Cucaracha Kingdom. And the last we saw of you, you were being run out of the arena by Nathaniel Black. Can we get your thoughts? The King looks Josh up and down for what he really is, a peasant. KING LANDON First of all, why are you not on one knee, in the presence of the King? MATTHEWS Well, actually, my right knee's been giving me some problems lately and my physiotherapist wou... KING LANDON Nevermind. Stay standing. Now, as far as your question goes. Running? Running away, from Nathaniel Black? You accuse me, me, of cowardise!? I'll have you know that I run from no man. No man and no army! I was just concerned about the well-being of the members of my Kingdom and wanted to check they were okay, that's all. Ask the Queen. She'll back me up. The fact is, I don't need to run from any man, for I am a King. Royalty in the OAOAST. And I earned my crown. I earned this throne. I earned it all. Because I'm a step above every common man in this sport. Why, in a heartbeat, I could vanquish Nathaniel Black, should I so choose. But, that's the thing. And I'm going to address this straight to you, Nathaniel. Looking down the barrel of the lens, King Landon points his royal finger sternly. KING LANDON You think for one second, I would dirty my hands with you, you peasant? I'm the King Of The Ring! I have far more important matters to deal with than you. Unfortunately, you seem determined to become a thorn in my side. And I cannot have that. The King looks to the Queen, who reaches to her side and produces a giant MONEY SACK! Not just any money sack, but one brimming with SHINY GOLD COINS! KING LANDON All throughout the OAOAST, hear my proclamation! I, King Landon Maddix, am offering my riches... fifteen thousand dollars... to any man, woman or child who can rid me of the thorn in my side. QUEEN ESTHER Ooh, just like Androcles! KING LANDON Uhhh, sure. The King turns to Josh and shrugs. KING LANDON Anyway. Fifteen thousand dollars. Fifteen thousand dollars, a King's ransom, to the man who rids me of Nathaniel Black. I don't care who it is. I don't care how you do it. All that matters is you serve your King and serve the Kingdom and rid us all of this pest, this common peasant known as Nathaniel Black. Your task is clear. Take Black out and take your reward. Fifteen thousand dollars. Spooning out some of the shiny coins, King Landon lets them fall back into the bag dramatically, as we go back to Sofa Central. COACH Yo, hold my coat, I'll be right back. COLE You're not going anywhere... and you're not even wearing a coat! But I can't quite believe that. King Landon has put a hit out on Nathaniel Black. Does that sound like the actions of someone who isn't afraid of a man? COACH They sound like the actions of a rich-ass evil dude if you ask me. And besides, it ain't a hit. It's the King's ransom! COLE Well tensions still high with the Kingdom and our British contingent and speaking of that, next week live in Louisville, a huge one on one match signed. A battle of the bulls as Scottish Scott of the Last Kings Of Scotland takes on The Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! That ought to be a wild one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted April 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event. And it’s for the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER OAOAST Galaxy, ARE… YOU… READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy cues and Baron Windels power walks to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger, who tonight looks to settle the score with the man who betrayed him… accompanied by fellow Citizen Soldier TIM CASH, he hails from San Antonio, Texas… presenting “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW has no time for pep talks, motioning Cash away. COACH I don’t have a good feeling about this, Cole. Baron has that killer look in the eye. COLE And Mr. Dick only has himself to blame. He awoke a sleeping Texan. “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue hits and golden pyro shower Mister Dick and Malaysia onstage. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanied by MALAYSIA… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds… he is the reigning and defending OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MD stalls for time jawing with fans outside. BW finally has enough and chases MD inside, only to be ambushed sliding in under the bottom rope. * DINGDINGDING * Stunned following a series of right jabs BW manages to reverse a whip and catches MD flush in the jaw with a BIG BOOT! COACH Baron Windels nearly took Mr. Dick’s head off with that one. BW looks to serve MD a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL, but the champ escapes and calls for time outside. Of course there are no time outs in wrestling, a fact MD is reminded of the hard way when BW smashes him face-first into the STEEL STEPS! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD staggers ringside before doing a faceplant that would make Ric Flair proud. The Real American Prick lures BW into a false sense of security, then hurls him into the RINGPOST! COLE Baron Windels may be out cold. COACH All Dick has to do now is roll Windels back in and cover him. Before MD makes the cover he first delivers a top rope bionic elbow for good measure. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! MD paintbrushes his former partner and then punts him in the gut. Again. And again. BW is dumped outside where Malaysia puts the boots to him while MD taunts Tim Cash. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia rolls BW back in and dusts her hands. COLE I suppose kicking a man while he’s down is hard work. COACH Isn’t it hard when you go down on a man? *laughs* MD climbs to the top, but this time BW slams him off and then IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME! COLE Flying lariat connects and we could have a new champion right here. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! BW hammers MD with a combo of rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows. Whipped across, MD clings onto the top rope and heads for higher ground after snatching his World title from the timekeeper. COLE Look at this. The champ is leaving. COACH He just wants a breather. COLE Outside? COACH That’s where all the fresh air is. BW meets up with MD halfway down the aisle and throws him back inside. MD pops to his feet and intentionally SHOVES REFEREE EARL HEBNER. COLE I don’t believe this. Mr. Dick is trying to get himself disqualified. COACH Obviously Dick is heated over the official missing the handful of hair and tights Baron Windels had. Earl shoves back and then MD kicks him low! HEBNER COLE What a dick! Hebner writhes in pain, then signals for the bell. BARON * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, as result of disqualification… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Now up the aisle along with Malaysia, MD gives BW a golf clap. BUFFER However, since a title cannot change hands on a disqualification… still your World Heavyweight Champion… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MD cracks a wry smile as he holds the World title up for all to see. COLE One thing’s for sure after tonight: Mr. Dick wants no part of Baron Windels.FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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