Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- OAOAST AfterParty Immediately Following HeldDOWN~! Last Week Courtesy: OAOAST.com The show opens with a clip of Maggie Nerdly interviewing Ned Blanchard from our post-HD web show AfterParty. NED Dick, you wanna bash my skull in with the World title? Well, you stupid son of a *bleep*… I want a piece of your ass! Next week on HeldDOWN you and me for the World title if you got the balls. Later in the program Tony Brannigan got Mr. Dick’s response backstage. MISTER DICK (laughs) Ned, why don’t you put your skirt back on and go cook Krista a nice hot meal? It’s a helluva lot less embarrassing than getting your ass kicked in front of millions of people around the world. BRANNIGAN Are you saying you accept Ned’s challenge? MISTER DICK You damn right I am. And I’m dedicating the match to my biggest fan, Genevieve Duncan. BRANNIGAN Krista’s mother?!? MISTER DICK COLE (Voice-Over) Tonight on HeldDOWN~!: Mr. Dick defends the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Ned Blanchard! We cut to sofa central where the announce team awaits to call the action COLE Folks, welcome to HeldDOWN~! I am Michael Cole sitting alongside Da Coach for an amazing evening of OAOAST action, topped off by a world title match between Mister Dick and Ned Blanchard. Your thoughts on the match, Coach? COACH Mister Dick doesn't wear number 23 for the Cavs, he ain't gonna choke! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT WORLD TITLE ON THE LINEMISTER DICK VS NED BLANCHARDTONIGHT! The triumphant trumpeting of "Parade Of The Charioteers" plays through the arena, to a chorus of boos. Arm in arm emerge the royal couple of the OAOAST, Queen Esther accompanying King Of The Ring, Landon Maddix. Ignoring the boos, they wave to the crowd on their way down the aisle, all smiles. COLE But we start tonight off in a royal way with King Landon! BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, being led to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER! From The Kingdom of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds... the OAOAST 2010 KING OF THE RING and one-third of the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... KING LLLLAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Queen Esther, in the hot California night, fans herself as her King stops to survey his people. BUFFER And in the ring, from Huntingdon Beach, California... BARCLAY ROBINSON! Lights cheers are heard for Robinson, a stocky (ie. sub six foot) black fellow with a buzzcut, in a red singlet. COLE A big chance for this youngster, who I spoke to earlier and he told me... COACH Whatchu talkin' bout Michael Cole? COLE Oh. Classy. King Landon spins into the ring with his fine purple and gold robe flared out like a peacock's feathers. The Queen leaves the ring still fanning herself, while Landon disrobes, a carefree look on his face. *DINGDINGDING* After a quick royal conference with Queen Esther, Landon walks out of his corner and offers a handshake. Robinson accepts, then looks confused at the most limp-wristed handshake he's ever had in his life. COLE What on earth was that? COACH A royal handshake. COLE That was like shaking hands with a wet leaf of lettuce. Are you kidding me? Circling, Landon locks up with his opponent and immediately brushes him to the mat. Landon takes a bow, applauded by the Queen and only the Queen. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Robinson gets back up, being offered another lock-up. This time though, the youngster goes behind the King, into a waistlock. Landon escapes with a hip throw with little trouble, then pops Barclay in the face with a forearm. With his opponent dazed, Landon shows off with a big bodyslam, turning away and bowing to the cameras once more. COLE For a man surrounded by people singing his praises, Landon sure is proud of himself enough to go around. The King picks Robinson back up and whips him to the ropes. As he ducks his head though, he gives the rookie an opening, coming to a halt and kicking Landon in the chest! Landon recoils, but tries to recover, only to walk right into a dropkick! Quickly back up, the King lunges at Robinson, who fends him off with a second dropkick! And the Queen looks shocked as a third dropkick sends her King rolling for safety! COLE Look at this! This young man has Maddix reeling here, with three great looking dropkicks! COACH Come on King! Recover! Stumbling and bumbling, King Landon ends up in a corner all shaken up. With some encouragement now, Robinson turns to the crowd before following up. He leaps in and hooks Landon, looking for a monkey flip... ...but Landon hooks his arms around the top rope, sending Barclay crashing onto the back of his head!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Brilliant! All hail to the brains of the King! As Robinson gets back up, Landon elevates himself to the middle rope and comes off with a flying front dropkick!! Robinson is flipped over by the force, turned back over by King Landon with a pinfall attempt... 1... 2... No! Landon stomps down on Robinson a couple of times, then picks him up and throws him to the turnbuckles. With a big run-up Landon then flies in, connecting with a big leaping forearm smash in the corner! COLE Looks like the King may be taking this match a little bit more seriously now. As Robinson staggers out of the corner, Landon takes aim with a hard kick to the chest. And a second. Knocked down to one knee Barclay is then lined up and BLASTED with a Low Flying Superkick!! COACH Gee, you think? COLE That was a seriously hard kick, right to the face. And I think the King may have just conquered this young opposition. Already out of it, Robinson is dragged back up by the King. Holding his opponent up, Landon turns to Queen Esther and they exchange a bowing of heads, before Barclay is hoisted up onto the shoulders. The Philidelphia crowd boo, resigned to what's coming next, the small local thrown up in the air and put to sleep by the King!! An easy cover follows... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING* COLE In the end, the King's royal duties, turning out to be quite routine. BUFFER Here is your winner... "KING" LLLAAAAANNDDOOOONN MMMAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" King Landon stands over his opponent and uses his royal powers to order the referee to raise his hand in victory. Applauding, Queen Esther enters the ring to join in the spotlight. COLE A win for the King. But there are tougher battles facing him, trust me. Folks, as we’ve seen over the past couple of months The Heavenly Rocker’s bodyguard Quiz has had numerous run ins with Mariachi. But now Mariachi has issued a challenge for School’s Out, lets hear if he accepts? We cut to The Heavenly Rockers tourbus for pre recorded comments from Logan Mann and Quiz. LOGAN Does he accept? Is that even a question. Why wouldn’t he accept? He’s six foot six, nearly three hundred pounds, all muscle, all power, all pain. And you’re asking him if he accepts? Like its some sort of challenge? Mariachi asking Quiz for a fight is like a fly asking a swatter to swat him, its gonna happen and its gonna be painful. QUIZ I’m not gonna let anybody come and punk me! Mariachi, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but you’re out of your league, kid. You may have been part of Los Diablos but I’m the real devil! I’m the demon! I’m the beast! You’re dead, slime, just like your worthless partner!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Returning from break we’re in the glamorous interview lounge… Where Krista and Alix sit sipping on some margaritas. KRISTA I still can’t believe she didn’t send me a Christmas card. ALIX Oh my god, this again? Its May, Krista. May! KRISTA The pain. The hurt. The sorrow. They still burn! ALIX And, like, really, you’re Jewish! KRISTA My name isn’t Duncanberg or Duncanstien! Its Duncan! There’s no conotations of Jewness in Duncan. How would she know I’m Jewish? ALIX How would she not know! Every third sentence out of your mouth is about being Jewish! You wear tights with the star of David! You named one of your moves the Hebrew Hammer! The only way you could be more Jewish is if you had a menorah growing out your butt. KRISTA I can’t help that I have pride in my heritage. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. ALIX Whatever! He died when he dove out the window to escape your grandmother who caught him cheating with the pool boy. Krista prepares to throw a drink in Alix’s face but is caught short by Baron Windells. BARON You don’t want to waste your drink like that. KRISTA Oh, honey, I didn’t notice you. You’re a big strapping lad, perhaps you can powerbomb my friend here through the Jukebox. BARON I actually came over here to wish you both good luck. I didn’t get a chance to say it last week with the commotion and all that, but its an honor to be stepping into the ring with you one more time. You’re the greatest tag team I ever saw, and I just look forward to hookin’ em up at Schools’ Out. You two have a fine day. Baron walks away, leaving Krista and Alix impressed with his politeness and respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 We return to ringside with Colin Maguire, Jr. coming to the ring with “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” by The Dropkick Murphys playing over the P.A. system. He holds the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his right shoulder. COLE Back on here ringside, and fans, we are being joined by Colin Maguire, Jr., who, as you can clearly see, is no longer dressed like a Catholic school girl, seeing as the 30-day stipulation from the AngleMania IX match ended 2 weeks ago! COACH And thank God for that. Another second of that humiliation, and I don’t know what CMJ or Spencer Reiger would have done! COLE Well, perhaps, he can now concentrate on defending his OAOAST United States Championship, the Title he has held since he defeated Alix Maria Spezia back in March. COACH Yes. Watch him go on to become the greatest United States Champion in OAOAST history! CMJ demands a microphone and gets one from a ringside attendant. He sneers at the ringside attendant, and then looks to the crowd. “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” by The Dropkick Murphys dies down. The crowd boos. COLE And it looks like we are about to get a few words from the United States Champion! CMJ pauses to sneer at the crowd before speaking. COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. The fun and games are over! Yeah, you all thought it was real cute seeing me dressed up like a school girl all last month, right? “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CMJ Yeah. Well, if Chicks Over Dicks think that that is enough to break me, to crush my spirit, well, they are WRONG! It’s going to take a lot more than that to take me down! So all you people better get used to this GORGEOUS face! Because you are going to see it for a long time to come! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Damn right! CMJ I am the United States Champion! And I have defended my Title with HONOUR and INTEGRITY! I don’t take shortcuts. I don’t do things the easy way. I have won match after match doing what I do best: and that’s kicking the ass of anyone who gets in my way! Now, I admit that I have been preoccupied with getting back the One And Only World Tag Team Titles with my partner, but we both agreed to put The LDC Moneygang aside for the time being to focus on our solo careers. And the OAOAST 2010 Breakout Star Of The Year is focusing on defending *his* United States Title night after night once again! CMJ raises the United States Title belt to boos from the fans. Maguire, Jr. smirks at the crowd. COACH A Champion we can all be proud of! CMJ So here tonight, I am issuing an Open Challenge. To anyone in the back that thinks they can take me, go ahead on! It’s your move! I will put the OAOAST U.S. Title on the line against the first person that comes to the ring, right here, right now, TONIGHT! COLE A U.S. Title Match right now!? COACH You heard the man, stupid! He’s a fighting Champion, so he’s doing what fighting champions do! CMJ It doesn’t matter who it is! Whether it’s the biggest competitor or the smallest! I will take anyone on! ANYONE! And I will put the United States Title on the line! If you win, then you’re the new United States Champion. Simple as that! Go ahead! I’m ready for anybody! Let’s do this! CMJ paces back and forth in the ring. He adjusts the United States Championship belt over his right shoulder. CMJ Anyone! Anyone at all! I’ll take on all comers! Bring a referee out here, so we can make this official! Referee Brian Hebner comes out as CMJ paces back and forth in the ring some more, the crowd buzzing in anticipation of who the challenger will be. COLE CMJ taking a big risk, you gotta give him that. He wants a Title Match against an unnamed opponent! COACH This just shows the gravitas of our United States Champion, Cole! He wants to defend the U.S. Title, unannounced, against the first man who accepts his Open Challenge! This reign is getting better and better! CMJ motions for somebody to come to the ring, a smirk on his face. CMJ Come on! Somebody! Anybody! I DARE YOU! COLE Just who will accept the Open Challenge? CMJ stands near the ropes. He looks out to the entrance. He shrugs his shoulders and then chuckles. He looks to the crowd and mouths that, “No one is coming out!” He laughs it up as the crowd boos. COACH The OAOAST Roster is scared! CMJ looks to the referee. Brian Hebner shrugs his shoulders. CMJ shrugs his shoulders and then laughs some more. CMJ Well, I guess no one is coming out! Looks like no one has the balls to face Colin Maguire, Jr. face-to-face, man-to-ma-- "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..."*DUN DUN* "...IS..."*DUN* "...HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. COLE Oh my~! Uh-oh! Looks like SOMEBODY has the balls to face Colin Maguire, Jr.! COACH Oh…dear God…NO! The sound of a headset being dropped is heard. COLE And thank the Good Lord for small favours! With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks down the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on CMJ. The crowd cheers louder than before. COLE This probably isn’t who CMJ had in mind as an opponent! CMJ immediately changes his mind, saying, “I’M NOT READY! I’M NOT READY!” to Brian Hebner. But the referee says that there is nothing that he can do. Maguire, Jr. made the Open Challenge and the challenge has been accepted. COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. is about to defend the OAOAST United States Championship against one hell of a challenger! A former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican stops at the end of the entrance ramp to run his mouth and point a menacing finger at CMJ. CMJ shakes his head, trying to convince PRL to reschedule the match. But The Latin Lion will have none of that, as he rushes towards the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope, and meeting CMJ with a clothesline that takes him down to the mat! The crowd explodes as Brian Hebner calls for the bell! *DING DING DING*OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHCOLIN MAGUIRE, JR. (Champion) vs. THA PUERTO RICAN (Challenger) CMJ gets up…and gets clotheslined back down! CMJ gets up again, and immediately gets clotheslined once more! CMJ is up one more time, and Tha Puerto Rican charges forward with another clothesline that sends CMJ over the top rope and to the floor. PRL holds onto the top ring rope and Skins The Cat back in! The People’s Champion plays to his fans and removes his Puerto Rican flag vest and throws it to a ringside attendant! COLE And Tha Puerto Rican is on fire as this match begins! PRL exits the ring and grabs CMJ as he gets up. He slams CMJ’s head onto the ring apron and then throws him back into the ring. PRL enters the ring himself by sliding underneath the bottom ring rope. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican stomps on CMJ with his shaky leg kicks! He picks CMJ up by his hair, sizes him up, and then starts hitting him with Rock-style punches to the temple to the crowd’s delight! The punches stagger the United States Champion and bring him to the ropes. Once there, P.R. gives CMJ an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. PRL puts his head down, but CMJ stops in his tracks before a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop can occur. Colin Maguire, Jr. kicks Tha Puerto Rican right in the face! PRL staggers around the ring, holding his face in pain, not noticing CMJ coming towards him with a clothesline of his own, knocking The People’s Champion down! COLE And CMJ fires back with a clothesline of his own! CMJ wastes no time, going for a pinfall! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! CMJ nails PRL with several knees to the back! He dares PRL to get up, and then kicks him in the back HARD! Maguire, Jr. picks Tha Puerto Rican up and hits him with some forearms to the face! A standing dropkick brings The Latin Lion down to the mat! Colin goes for another cover! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT!!! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is still in this contest! Not yet about to give up a chance to become United States Champion! CMJ argues with the referee about the count. But Brian Hebner remains adamant that it was a two count. So, having lost that battle, Colin resumes his other battle with Tha Puerto Rican, getting on top of him and punching him repeatedly in the face. This inspires another “P.R.!” chant to be heard loudly throughout the arena. Colin sneers at the crowd, and then goes back to punching PRL in the face. He delivers a headbutt to Puerto for good measure, and then picks him up. COLE CMJ and PRL meeting in the ring for the first time ever! In fact, this may be the very first time that these two men have had ANY interaction with each other whatsoever in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! CMJ gives PRL an Irish Uppercut! He gives P.R. another Irish Uppercut! Then another! And another! Several more Irish Uppercuts follow, weakening Tha Puerto Rican and worrying The Lightning Bolts. COLE CMJ in full control of Tha Puerto Rican at the moment! CMJ grabs P.R. by his right hand and wrings it out! Shoulder thrusts follow, and soon, PRL is on the mat! CMJ stomps on Puerto to keep him down and then heads to a turnbuckle corner. He sneers at the crowd, and then jogs forward, leaping up and down, his right knee crashing into Tha Puerto Rican’s face! COLE Oh! A devastating knee drop from Colin Maguire, Jr.! Colin goes for the cover! It gets two! CMJ COME ON! CMJ chokes PRL with his bare hands! BRIAN HEBNER Come on! Break it up! One! Two! Three! Four! Fiv-- CMJ lets go, but not before giving Brian Hebner a dirty look. PRL is now having a coughing fit. CMJ doesn’t make Tha Puerto Rican feel any better by grinding the point of his right elbow into PRL’s face! CMJ YOU AIN’T NOTHING, PUNK! CMJ punches PRL as he tries to get back up. He picks PRL up by his hair and punches him in the face several times! Colin grabs P.R. by his right hand and whips him into a turnbuckle corner back-first HARD! He quickly goes to work, punching Tha Puerto Rican repeatedly in the skull. *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Suddenly, Tha Puerto Rican springs to life, grabbing Colin and throwing him into the same turnbuckle corner! *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Tha Puerto Rican switches to Rock-style punches to the temple, the crowd getting louder and louder with each punch! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! PRL whips CMJ into the opposite corner. He charges forward. Stinger Splash! PR pulls CMJ out of the corner and puts him in a front facelock. After putting Colin’s right arm over his head, PR grabs his tights and then lifts him up into the air for a vertical suplex! PRL rolls through and delivers another vertical suplex on CMJ! PRL rolls through again and lifts CMJ up in the air for a third vertical suplex. PRL holds onto Colin for a little while longer this time, though, letting the blood rush to Colin’s head. The crowd applauds PR’s show of strength. COLE Tha Puerto Rican showing his incredible ability to his fans! This same ability that won him the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title over two years ago! P.R. holds CMJ up with left arm, so that he can do the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture with his right hand. P.R. walks with CMJ towards the ropes…and then drops him gut-first onto the top ring rope, completing the Slingshot Suplex and the final part of The People’s Trifecta! Afterwards, PR applauds himself, and the crowd joins him in the applause. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE This crowd going nuts for Tha Puerto Rican! TPR goes back to work on Maguire, Jr. He picks him up and gives him a Russian Legsweep! P.R. goes for the cover! 1... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!! THA PUERTO RICAN DAMNIT! Tha Puerto Rican gets up and attacks with his shaky-leg kicks. He then focuses his assault on Colin’s head, dropping several fists onto his forehead! PRL bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops another fist onto CMJ’s head! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! PRL goes for the cover. 1... 2... 3--RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! COLE CMJ able to kick out of the devastating Five Knuckle Shuffle! PR doesn’t let CMJ kicking out of that brutal move get him down. Instead, The People’s Champ stomps on his opponent and then picks him up…and gets poked in the eyes as soon as CMJ is on his feet! COLE Oh come on! The crowd boos loudly as CMJ regains control with punches to P.R.’s skull. He then turns to PRL’s gut, socking him in the stomach with several rights! CMJ kicks PRL in his right leg. He then kicks PRL in his left leg! He kicks PRL in his right leg again! He then kicks him in his left leg! Right leg! Left leg! Right leg! Left leg! CMJ continues kicking PRL in his legs, the crowd groaning with each kick! The current U.S. Champion then grabs the challenger and delivers an Irish Whip into the ropes---NO!---PRL reverses and it is Colin who goes bouncing off of the ropes…right into a Samoan Drop from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL applauds himself. The crowd cheers. Puerto Rican covers CMJ, hooking his right leg. ONE! TWO!! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN Come on, ref! Once more, a “P.R.!” chant starts. The man formerly known as The Lightning Kid picks his opponent up. He nails CMJ with several European Uppercuts of his own, to the crowd’s delight. He then switches to CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Puerto delivers an Irish Whip on Colin Maguire, Jr. He puts his head down again, and this time, Colin is able to come back with a spinning neckbreaker! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE P.R. going for a Back Body Drop again, and once again, CMJ is able to come back! CMJ wastes no time. He goes for the cover, hooking PRL’s left leg. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!! COLE A nearfall, but the match continues, and Tha Puerto Rican still has a chance of becoming United States Champion! Punches in bunches come from Colin to Tha Puerto Rican, The People worried for their Champion. The former One And Only World Tag Team Champion motions for the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion to get back to his feet. Once The Latin Lion gets to a vertical base, CMJ does some more kicks to PR’s legs! PR screams with every kick, kicks which can be heard all over the arena they are so STIFF~! The crowd groans with each one. Colin grabs Tha Puerto Rican and gives him a back suplex! He covers Puerto, hooking his right leg…and gets a two count! “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” CMJ is getting frustrated that he can’t put PRL away, and the frustration is starting to show on his face! He chokes PRL with his bare hands again, but stops when the referee almost counts five. Colin jaw jacks Tha Puerto Rican and then slams his head onto the mat! He picks P.R. up and gives him a suplex! COLE Colin Maguire, Jr. looking to successfully retain the OAOAST United States Championship against an OAOAST veteran in Tha Puerto Rican, and also looking to regain his momentum and credibility after spending the last month in a Catholic school girl uniform, which he sadly will most likely never ever wear again. CMJ covers PRL, making sure to hold onto PRL’s arms while doing so. PRL kicks out at the count of two. CMJ sneers at the crowd, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. After taunting him some more, CMJ whips Tha Puerto Rican into a corner. Tha Puerto Rican does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! CMJ goes for a clothesline…but PRL ducks it, and punches CMJ in the face! P.R. then headbutts Maguire, Jr. in the gut and then does a Sunset Flip on him! HOWEVER, Colin refuses to fall! COLE Will he!? Is he!? Instead, CMJ drops to his knees and holds onto the second rope! The crowd panics as Brian Hebner makes the count! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN KICKS OUT!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE A close call right there! Colin Maguire, Jr. almost cheating his way to victory! Tha Puerto Rican gets up, and Colin is there to greet him with a right hand! Several more right hands come Tha Puerto Rican’s way. The crowd is starting to come alive again, feeling the tide shifting. But a CMJ neckbreaker silences the crowd! But a two count brings them back to life! CMJ sneers at PRL as he picks him up. A kick to the gut hunches PRL over. Maguire, Jr. attacks Puerto with some CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Maguire, Jr. takes PRL over to the ropes, and then whips him into the opposite ropes--PRL reverses…Colin bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, and gets grabbed by Tha Puerto Rican for a SPINEBUSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Oh my! CMJ could be in trouble here! The crowd goes BANANA~! Tha Puerto Rican gets up and plays to the crowd. He does a quick jog around the ring until he is standing over CMJ. PRL plays to the crowd some more…and then kicks CMJ’s right arm onto his chest. COLE Here we go! Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and then throws it into the crowd. He crosses his arms and then bounces off of the ropes, leaps over CMJ and then bounces off of the opposite ropes. COLE It’s now time for The Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican comes to a stop near CMJ, lifts his right leg up in the air, lifts his right arm up into the air, looks at the crowd…and then drops his elbow onto CMJ’s chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Puerto Elbow Connects! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects! Tha Puerto Rican covers Colin Maguire, Jr., hooking his right leg. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE No! That was not 3! The match is still going! Colin Maguire, Jr. can still retain the United States Title! “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” “THAT WAS THREE!” PRL can’t believe that wasn’t 3 either. He argues the count, but then says, “Screw you.” to Brian Hebner and continues on. Puerto stomps on CMJ and then picks him up and nails him with several Rock-style punches to the temple. Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! CMJ goes down! He gets back up. He goes back down from a PRL punch! CMJ gets back up. PRL knocks him down with another punch! CMJ gets up again. PRL knocks him down once more! PRL grabs CMJ by his right hand and then gives him an Irish Whip into the ropes. CMJ charges forward, right into a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop from Tha Puerto Rican! COLE Yes! He finally did it! PRL plays to the crowd! They cheer! He then picks Colin Maguire, Jr. up. He scoops Colin up for a bodyslam--Colin slides down P.R.’s back and lands on his feet! CMJ turns Tha Puerto Rican around and grabs his head in a ¾ facelock. D-STREET CUTTER--NO!!!--Tha Puerto Rican escapes the D-Street Cutter and shoves CMJ into the ropes! CMJ bounces off of the ropes and stumbles backwards. PR grabs him and gives him a back suplex--CMJ lands on his feet right behind PRL! CMJ turns PRL around and goes for a clothesline! PRL ducks the clothesline, turns around, CMJ turns around… KICK WHAM P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! He hits it! Tha Puerto Rican covers Colin Maguire, Jr., hooking his left leg. Brian Hebner makes the count. The crowd counts along. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (6:04) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE We've got a new United States Champion! Tha Puerto Rican raises his hands in victory and lets out a mighty roar. The crowd explodes as “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. BUFFER Here is your winner…and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread United States Champion…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Brian Hebner grabs the OAOAST United States Championship belt from Michael Buffer and hands it over to Tha Puerto Rican. The referee raises Tha Puerto Rican’s hands in victory. PRL then raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his head to LOUD cheers! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is United States Champion for the first time in his illustrious career! P.R. can now say that he has held every male singles title in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Tha Puerto Rican gets up and raises the U.S. Title belt over his head again. He screams out, “YES! YES!” The crowd roars its approval as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Colin Maguire, Jr. lies on the mat, devastated over his loss. COLE And Colin Maguire, Jr.’s bad luck streak continues! First, he and Spencer Reiger lost the One And Only World Tag Team Titles to Chicks Over Dicks at AngleMania IX, which meant that he was forced to dress up like a Catholic school girl for 30 days, and now he loses the United States Championship to a surprise opponent! Life cannot get any worse for CMJ, but I got a feeling that things are looking up for Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican heads to a second turnbuckle and raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity”. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL looks at the crowd while on the second turnbuckle. He turns his head to look at Colin Maguire, Jr. slowly exiting the ring underneath the bottom rope. PRL can’t help but smirk at this. Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle where he once again raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity”. The crowd cheers again. PRL does this on the other two corners. COLE Let’s take a look at the closing moments of this contest! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match starting with Tha Puerto Rican’s attempted scoop slam. COLE Tha Puerto Rican went for a bodyslam, CMJ escaped, and we all thought that we were going to see the D-Street Cutter. However, Tha Puerto Rican managed to escape the D-Street Cutter and go for a back suplex. CMJ managed to escape *that*. PRL ducked the clothesline attempt, delivered the P.R. Nightmare to Colin Maguire, Jr., and one three count later, Tha Puerto Rican became the NEW United States Champion for the first time in his career! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cut back to live action with Tha Puerto Rican doing the HBK-muscle pose in the middle of the ring. Spotlights shine on him as PRL does the trademark pose, holding the OAOAST United States Championship belt over his right shoulder. The crowd cheers loudly. PRL has a wide smile on his face. COLE Colombian Heat was the first United States Champion in OAOAST history. Now, his fellow Badd Boy, Tha Puerto Rican, can also say that he was and *is* a United States Champion! Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK-muscle pose again while the crowd cheers and “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. He does it two more times and then leaps over the top rope to exit the ring. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the OAOAST United States Championship belt and slings it over his right shoulder. PRL walks up the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE A big night for both Tha Puerto Rican and Colin Maguire, Jr.! Tha Puerto Rican became the new OAOAST United States Champion! And Colin Maguire, Jr. learned why you should NEVER EVER EVER issue an Open Challenge in professional wrestling! We will be right back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this! ... Where the hell is Coach!? Does anyone even care? Meh, me neither. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt into the air with his right hand. The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican has a smile on his face despite the fatigue that he is feeling at the moment. The tired, sore, in pain NEW United States Champion wipes the sweat from his brow and then blows a kiss to his fans as “Know Your Role 2000” plays over the P.A. system and as weFADE TO BLACKLATER TONIGHT OAOAST WOMEN'S TITLE BRASS KNUCKLE ON A POLE MATCH MAGGIE NERDLY VS HOLLY TONIGHT* COMMERCIAL BREAK * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 We’re taken to the Citizen Soldiers lockeroom where Baron Windells and Tim Cash are engaged in conversation, while Tim Cash signs autographed posters. BARON You don’t know him well enough, Timmy. He’s good people underneath all that macho nonsense. Does he work on people’s nerves? Hell yes. But he’s a good man. Trust me. With burning ears, world champion Mister Dick bursts into the room with Malaysia right behind him. MISTER DICK Baron Windells, you are the ace of spades! BARON What’s wrong, Jock? MISTER DICK Don’t you what’s wrong me? I got enough to worry about with ol Ned Blanchard and now you’re giving me fits. Talkin’ about good luck, you’re the best tag team in the world, and I wish you well to those Hollywood whores! CASH Its simple kindness and respect, Jock. You should try it. MISTER DICK You should try shutting up. CASH Come now. There’s no call for that. Baron was merely paying his respects to a great group of women. We should all do the same. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do. MISTER DICK I ain’t gonna pay nothing to nobody, not never! Baron Windells sometimes you are as soft as baby shit. You gonna let those girls into your head? You gonna give them an inch? They’ll take a damn country mile from ya! I don’t know what you were thinking but it weren’t nothing good. BARON Settle down, partner. I was paying them a compliment, nothing more. You don’t have to get on everyone’s bad side, buddy. We have the titles, you have the world title, its not Jock against the world anymore. MISTER DICK Its always gonna be Jock against the world. Always! And you’re either on my side or the world’s side. Malaysia’s who’s side are you on? MALAYSIA Yours. Naturally. MISTER DICK Good then I got a mission for ya. Next week I want you to take on Alix and do you what you do best to her. MALAYSIA Mmmmmmm…that smooth bronze skin, that perfectly shapped ass, those pert breasts. I can’t wait. MISTER DICK Neither can I. Now if ya’ll will excuse me I gotta call Genevieve. CASH Genevieve? Krista’s mom?! BARON Jock, you’re playing with fire. MISTER DICK Just the way I like to play it, BW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Crush Crush Crush CrushCrushCrush TWO THREE FOUR Entrance doors shred apart and Maggie Nerdly roars onto the entrance stage. The youngest of the Nerdlies stands cloaked in a black mini skirt and a MUSE t-shirt with a bridal view covering her face and a bouquet of flowers clamped firmly in hand. She shoots her arm into the air and smiles broadly as the audience receives her with warm cheers. BUFFER The following is a brass knuckle on a pole match for the OAOAST Women’s Title….Now making her way to the ring, she is the challenger, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the It Girl On The Scene…MAAAAAGGGIEEEEEE NEEEEEERDDDDDDDDLY Maggie waves her bouquet of flowers to further psyche up the already energeized audience. COLE Maggie Nerdly will be looking for a measure of revenge in this contest after being knockedout by a pair of brass knucks at the Motor City Spectacular which is available on OAOAST On Demand. The It Girl hits the ring with a smile as bright as a solar flare. She aims her bouquet at the ring posts sending green pyro flaring through the air. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! A front row fight ensues as Maggie launches her flowers overhead and into the waiting hands of the audience. NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH NOW I’M THAT BITCH Now I’m That Bitch descends into silky smooth rock of Feel Good Drag and the Women’s Champion emerges with Abdullah Abir Nerdly at her side. Clad in a plaid mini skirt and a black mesh top with a red bra underneath, Holly pats her valued title as Abdullah Abir worships her alleged greatness. BUFFER And the champion! She hails from Las Vegas, Nevada, and is accompanied by Abduallh Abir Nerdly she is….THE ANGEL OF DEATH…..HOLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY! There’s a decidedly negative reaction for The Angel Of Death which is met with a profanity laced tirade by Holly as she enters the ring. COLE Holly’s never short on words. Unfortunately they all have to be censored! DING DING DING Holly immediately takes off running to the pole! But she gets no further than the second turnbuckle before the cute Nerdly girl yanks her downwards. Maggie then begins blasting Holly in the face with closed fists that earn a warning from referee Clem Buzzlefoxer. Maggie doesn’t seem to care however and continues to pound Holly with her angry punches. COLE The It Girl on the scene is making a bruised girl on the scene out of Holly! Holly finally manages to kick Maggie away and take a much needed breather. However, her moment of resprite is all too breaif; Maggie charges in and nails her with a knee to the stomach. She then grabs onto her arm and sits out with an arm stunner! COLE The Deodrator! COACH Speaking of, why didn’t your foul ass wear any today? Holly stumbles about the ring, clutching her sore arm and cursing her ill luck. Preoccupied with her misery, she’s unable to stop Maggie from grabbing onto her light red hair and leading her to the corner with the pole. There Holly is thrown face first into the tall steel apparatus. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH How can these people cheer a beautiful woman like Holly being thrown into a steel pole. They can and they will as Maggie repeats the same attack. Holly falls backwards, dazed and wounded from Maggie’s hellish assault. This permits the baby of the Nerdly family to begin climbing up to the third rope. As Clem peeks up her skirt, an oblivious Maggie begins to unhook the brass knucks. But Holly robs Clem of his fine view, shoving him out the way and clobbering Maggie in the back with forearms. Cursing out her foe, she grabs onto her bare legs and heaves her backwards. Maggie lands on her feet, but this does nothing to prevent Holly from taking the attack as she charges forward with a spear. Maggie is slung to the ground and victimized by Holly pummeling her adorable face. COACH My wanking material is being turned black and blue. Ease up, ease up, I ain’t got the money to buy no Penthouses or Playboys! At Clem’s request Holly dismounts Maggie, but does so only so that she may spew hatred at the elderly referee.. But this proves to be an unwelcome distraction, as Maggie uses her tennis shoes to dropkick Holly in the back. The Angel of Death crashes into pole once more, drawing out even more profanities from her mouth. Holding her hand to her head she turns around and stumbles into a second Deodrator! COACH Shoulda worn your Right Guard! And I’m out of deodorant jokes. COLE If only you were out of lines period! Holly stomps about the ring, trying to shake the kinks and sores out her arm. This becomes a near impossible task as Maggie grabs onto her shoulders and throws her injured arm directly into the corner posts. COLE Maggie’s not one to usually target a body part, but she’s selected good strategy tonight. Maggie pulls Holly out the corner and attacks her arm with a single arm ddt that leaves Holly in incredible anguish. In celebration, Maggie twirls around and flashes the RAWK hand signal to the OAOAST Galaxy! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Smiling at the roar of the fans, Maggie marches over to the corner with the pole and begins climbing up. As Clem takes ANOTHER peek up her skirt, the youngest Nerdly girl tries to unhook the brass knuckles. But Holly makes a desperate dash to the corner, ready to push Maggie off the turnbuckle. But thanks to a video screen Maggie sees The Angel Of Death on the arrival and flips backwards to wipe her out with a moonsault press. Abdullah Abir Nerdly freaks out as his little sister mocks him with a monkey face. COLE Maggie is on a roll! Coach, a new champion might be on the horizon. COACH Don’t count on it, Holly has Synth, Logan, and Quiz in the wings, all Maggie has is that moron PRL, if he even bothered to show up for work this month. Eager to derail Maggie’s train of momentum, Abdullah makes his way onto the ring apron. He berates his baby sister, calling her an unclean sinner. Maggie finds him to be an unwelcome presence and two get into a bit of a family spat. This argument gives Holly the time needed to recover and she rabs onto Maggie’s highlighted hair and yanks her into front facelock with her good arm. She then whips backwards and connects with a Percusion DDT! COLE The Percussion! Holly’s husband Logan Mann has put so many superstars away with that hold and could Holly have done the same to Maggie? Maggie is put on the receiving end of brutal stomps from Holly’s combat boots. The Angel of Death then picks Maggie up off the canvas and throws her into the ropes. Holly makes the mistake of lowering her head and eats a tennis shoe for her folly. With Holly momentrarilly dazed, Maggie bounces off the ropes. But Holly throws a boot to her stomach! She then strikes Maggie with an x-factor and cruelly rubs her face in the mat! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE That’s just disgusting! Holly gets a warning from Buzzlefoxer but dismisses it with a cruel insult. She then strides to the corner and begins climbing to the top rope. Clem decides not to risk a cursing out by looking up Holly’s skirt and stands idly by. Reaching the top turnbuckle, she begins unhooking the brass knucks. Maggie stirs to her feet, but can’t make any moves to stop Holly from slipping the brass knuck around her fingers. COLE Holly’s got the knucks! HOLLY You’re (beep) dead! Holly flies off with a punch aimed at Maggie’s skull. But Maggie ducks the attack, and slides into the corner. Holly comes charging in with another punch. But Maggie drops to her stomach, and drop toe holds the women’s champion into the second rope! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Maggie whips her highlighted hair out of her blue eyes, before scrapping Holly off the canvas. But the Vegas native stuns her by punching her in her exposed stomach with the brass knucks. Two more brass knuck shots hobble Maggie and drop her two her knees. Maggie is then forced to endure a dropkick to her face and topples over to the canvas. Holly then grinds the brass knucks into Maggie’s forehead, drawing heat from the capacity audience. COLE It’s a dirty play but its legal in this brass knuckle on a pole match. Holly grabs onto Maggie’s bare legs and slingshots her into the corner with the posts. Maggie collides with the pole, sending a clanging metal sound ringing throughout the arena. COACH Damn, Holly’s getting vicious with it. Maggie leans against the corner, exhausted and wounded from the parade of attacks. Her injuries grow worse, as Holly hammers her back with brass knuckle attacks. Holly then executes a back suplex into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Maggie pushes her way out the pinning situation. COLE The first pinfall of the match was almost the last one! Holly returns to the task of grinding the knuckles into Maggie’s face, causing great screams to erupt from the poor girl. Next, Holly steps upright and plants a fist drop onto Maggie’s skull. The Canadian convulses in pain as Holly directs demeaning insults towards her. After her cruel words are finished, Holly grabs onto Maggie’s Escape The Fate t-shirt and lifts the challenger to her feet. She then irish whips her into the ropes. Maggie returns to a lariat, but expertly ducks beneath it, skidding to a halt behind Holly. Unfortunately she’s caught in the stomach by a powerful sidekick from the champion. Holly then winds up for a lethal uppercut from the brass knucks. But Maggie swings out to her back and captures her inside a backslide pin! Buzzlefoxer counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I think these OAOAST Marks thought Maggie had a surefire three and I believed the same. COACH That’s because you’re an idiot, and they’re idiots, and dumb minds think alike! Maggie and Holly come off the canvas at the same moment. But weary and weak, Maggie isn’t any match for Holly who knees her in the stomach. Holly then bounces off the ropes, and rumbles back with brass knucks raised for a brutal punch. The blow fails to connect however, as Maggie ducks beneath it and runs to the ropes herself. The two gorgeous each other in the center of the ring. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH” COLE Oh is right! What a collision that was! With neither lady making any movements towards their feet, Buzzlefoxer is forced to begin a count… ONE! TWO! THREE! But Holly begins to stir, albeit very slowly. Despite the aching in her head, Holly manages to come upright. She hunches over and demands Maggie do the same. COACH Holly’s getting ready to clock Maggie! Dizzied and eyes blurred, Maggie is to her feet. In spite of her hindered vision she can spot Holly charging towards her with raised fist. But the It Girl surprises Holly and the audience by countering into a THIRD Deodorator! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Speed Stick’s got nothing on Maggie! Holly holds her sore arm close to her torso, as she curses her anguish. Things get noticeably worse for the Angel Of Death as Maggie begins attempting to rip the brass knuckles off her fingers! COACH What is she doing? COLE The smartest thing she can do? COACH Sit on my lap, bare ass naked? Although facing considerable struggle from Holly, Maggie pulls away the brass knucks! She slips them on her fingers and holds up the RAWK hand signal to the sold out audience! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Realizing the danger she’s currently in, Holy dives out the ring. She runs at top speeds, desperate to avoid the beating a hounding Maggie is soon to bring her. Holly quickly scurries back into the ring, causing Maggie to try and chase her escape. But her tennis shoes are grabbed onto by Abdullah! COLE He shouldn’t even be out here! COACH He has a manager’s liscence, he has every right to be out here. Maggie manages to shake her way free of Abdullah. Deciding to teach him a lesson to mind his own business, she punches him in the stomach with the brass knuckles! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” As Abdullah crumples to the outside mats, Maggie slides back into the squared circle. But there’s she’s captured into a front facelock by Holly! COLE Could this be The Mirage? Maggie winds up and takes a chunk out of Holly’s stomach with the brass knucks! This causes Holly to yank her grip away from Maggie’s skull and clutch her now aggrieved stomach. Maggie then leaps onto her shoulders and pulls her down into a victory roll! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Almost a new champion! Maggie decides a running punch is the best recipe to put away Holly and takes off to the ropes to do execute her attack. But a barely recovered Abdullah reaches between the ropes and grabs onto his sister’s tennis shoes. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The audience’s disdain is Holly’s pleasure as she uses Abdullah’s meddling to trap Maggie into another front facelock. Maggie’s leg is hooked, and moments later she’s being flung around with a twisting fisherman’s suplex. COLE The Mirage! Buzzlefoxer drops into position to make the count…. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall……HOLLY! Mere victory isn’t enough to satisfy Holly. She wishes to instead to whet her crazed appetite for blood. Thus she digs her brass knuckles into Maggie’s face and draws out and inkling of red juice. COLE This is horrible! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Morgan appears from the stands to aid her sister. Holly is unaware of Morgan’s presence, even with the roaring of the audience. This error is to become a costly one.ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COLE Oh my! ABDULLAH To arms! Abdullah enters the ring and darts at his little sister with maniac fury! ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COLE Oh my! Clem Buzzlefoxer attempts to calm a furious Morgan down. ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! COLE Oh my! Morgan shivers and shakes, unsure of what she’s done. Unable to come to terms with her behavior, she hunches up in the corner while watching with wide eyes as EMT’s flood the ring.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Backstage we find ourselves in a makeshift dance studio where,TYLER BRYANTSHAYNE BRAVEMAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD andJADE RODEZ-DUNCAN are practicing some dance moves. Unfortunately, Shayne, can’t quiet keep up with the rest of the group. TYLER Dude, my bowels have better moves than you. Get with it! SHAYNE Do we have to dance single ladies? MAYA What’s the problem with Single Ladies? SHAYNE Its kind of….gay? TYLER No gayer than wearing a leotard. SHAYNE It’s a unitard, dude, get it right. TYLER Its flamingly homosexual get it right. Shayne snorts his disgust with his partner’s taunt and stomps out the room. JADE You hurt his feelings. Before Tyler can even think of apologizing a stagehand appears with a letter in hand. STAGE HAND Tyler? You got this letter. Tyler checks the letter, and suddenly his eyes widen with excitement. TYLER Its from Britney! JADE Spears? Tyler happily nods. MAYA Read it! TYLER Dear Tyler, she called me Tyler, Please stop….emailing me…..stop sending me nude photos of yourself…..stop sending me locks from your hair….stop sending me edible panties…stop MAYA Stop reading! Stop! Let’s go find Shayne, and cheer him up for looking like the third Los Diablo. TYLER She didn’t like my hair. Maya and crew exit the room only to find Shayne in conversation with Lorelei DeCenzo. JADE What’s he doing with her? MAYA Lets eavesdrop! LORELEI I think you’re a fabulous dancer. And I love your outfit. SHAYNE Um, thanks. Yeah, it helps with the aerodynamic propulsion of my high leg kicks. LORELEI Is that a nipple ring underneath there? SHAYNE Yeah, I’m a little bit rock n roll. LORELEI I bet you are, sugar. You must have all the teenage girls lining up to get at you when you wear that beauty, with your fine chest pumping through the fabric, and your rock hard abs barely hidden. SHAYNE Throngs of screaming teenagers don’t always do it for me. Not that they’re bad or anything. I just prefer a mature woman sometimes. MAYA Please! LORELEI Do you want to know what type of man I prefer? SHAYNE Yes! LORELEI A winner. And I think that you’re just that guy. I only need to see you prove it. For you see, we in The Enterprise have been taking a long look at you. You haven’t noticed, but you have been on our radar for quiet some time. But you’re allowing yourself to be ehld back and that’s a shame. It truly is, sugar! SHAYNE By who? Who’s holding me back? LORELEI Tyler, Jade, Maya, all of them. You need to break free of those shackles and rise up to be the great man I know you can be. If you can, there’s fifteen thousand dollars for you as a starting award. We just need to see you beat Tyler next week on HeldDOWN~! Lorelei traces her finger across Shayne’s chest, and leans in close enough to kiss him on the lips. LORELEI Are you up for it? SHAYNE I’m up! I mean, I’m up for it! Yes, it! Lorelei pecks Shayne on the cheek and walks away. JADE I don’t believe what I just saw! COLE Neither can I! COMING UP NEXT WORLD TILE MAINEVENT NED BLANCHARD VS MISTER DICK NEXT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 * DING * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER This is your HeldDOWN main event! Scheduled for one fall and sanctioned by the OAOAST, it’s for THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! Are you ready? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” BUFFER Philadelphia, ARE… YOU… READY? "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BUFFER Then for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world… Ladies and gentlemen… LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! "Slither" by Velvet Revolver cues and Orange County Cobras led by MOLLY F’N NERDLY enter through a gigantic snake’s head with flaming eyes. COACH I wonder how many people got the axe to afford that monstrosity. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied by fellow Orange County Cobra SIMON SINGLETON and MOLLY NERDLY… from the O.C., he weighs 237 pounds… "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLAAAANCHAARD!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Ned tosses his vest aside and receives high fives from Simon and Molly. COLE Could we be staring at the next World Champion? COACH The knock on Ned has been sometimes he didn’t take the match in hand seriously. You can believe that isn’t the case tonight, Cole. He understands the importance of this one, the biggest match of his career. “Motherfucker of the Year” by Motley Crue plays as golden pyro shower Mr. Dick and Malaysia onstage. BUFFER And his opponent, accompanied by MALAYSIA… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds… one-half of the One & Only World tag team champions and the reigning and defending Heavyweight Champion of the World… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" MD takes his seat in the corner and Malaysia crawls over to remove the OAOAST Title hung out of his short shorts. As MD returns to his feet Ned strikes with a clothesline! * DINGDINGDING * MD and Ned exchange fire until a knee to the gut stops the Handsome Hustler in his tracks, but Ned puts on the brakes as MD tries to ram him into the buckle and sends the champ face-first instead. Ned whips MD in for a backdrop and then clotheslines him outside. COLE The Handsome Hustler taking it to the World Champion here in the early going. The action continues on the arena floor as Ned wraps his headband around MD’s neck and introduces him to the ring apron. MD then reverses a whip and Ned crashes against the guardrail. The Real American Prick charges in for big splash but eats cold steel. He meets steel again following a SLINGSHOT into the RINGPOST! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” The referee orders Ned to return inside as Malaysia assists MD to his feet, but the O.C. Cobra has other ideas in mind, like a DOUBLE COCONUT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Malaysia falls into Cole’s lap, her face right in his crotch. COACH I am so jealous right now, Cole. COLE Then you take her. I feel so dirty. COACH Only you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the moment, you little homo. (to Malaysia) I got you, babe. Coach helps Malaysia up and gets shoved into Cole for his trouble. COLE Now this I can appreciate. COACH As we endure a period of awkward silence, MD thumbs Ned in the eye slams him down face-first into the steel steps. MD tosses Ned inside and applies a CHOKE. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-- MD breaks the hold at the very last second… and then applies it again! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-- MISTER DICK Cool as the other side of the pillow, MD delivers an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline from hell! COLE The Cock Shock! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! MD whips Ned in for a SLEEPER, but Ned counters with a back suplex! COACH That’s one way to escape a sleeper. Both men rise up and trade blows which MD gets the worst end of. COLE The champ is on his heels. Ned shoots MD across but MD ducks a back elbow… only to get drilled by a STUN GUN on the rebound! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Ned hooks MD for THE SLINGSHOT SUPLEX, but MD tries to COCK BLOCK him. Ned escapes and execute a SLEEPER SUPLEX~!!! COLE Angel's Venom! COACH What? COLE A new finisher Ned developed to surprise Mr. Dick in this championship match. And boy did he ever do that. We could have a new champion. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO!! Malaysia breaks up the pin and begins whipping Ned with her CAT O’NINE TAILS. COLE No, damn it! * DINGDINGDING * Simon tries to stop the madness only to find himself on the receiving end of Malaysia’s wrath. COACH Bitch has snap, Cole. MD joins in on the fun and starts attacking Ned. COLE What’s the meaning of all this? “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” With no help on the way Molly jumps on Malaysia… COACH Look at this! …but is easily thrown off. COLE Molly, you better get out of there. The crowd roars as Malaysia moves in for the kill, not because they want to see her destroy Molly, but for the arrival of CITIZEN SOLDIERS. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Cash escorts Molly to safety as Baron orders Malaysia to back off, prompting another heated exchange between him and MD. Thankfully cooler heads prevail and MD and Malaysia exit peacefully as Citizen Soldiers tend to the O.C. Cobras. BUFFER The winner of the match, as result of a disqualification… NED BLAAAANCHAARD! However, still the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… MMMIIIIIIIIIIISSSSTTEEEERRRRRR DDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK! COLE A mixed reaction for the official decision. Ned Blanchard is your winner by DQ, but Mr. Dick remains the World Champion. And that concludes a wild night of OAOAST action. For Da Coach I’m Michael Cole saying goodnight!FADE TO BLACK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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