Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come in from our intro to sofa central where our announce team wears Anglemania baseball jerseys and baseball caps. The height of fashion! COLE Folks welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We are just days away from Anglepalooza and the Lethal Rumble! There's big matches tonight with Alix defending her US Title against Detective Bosley and an Anderson Cup contest pitting The Heavenly Rockers against Citizen Soldiers. But right now lets kick it off with the tag team champions the LDC Moneygang! We switch or view from sofa central to Michael Buffer standing inside the ring with two young bucks. BUFFER The following tag team event is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, first from South Florida, weighing 225 pounds… DREW MANNING! His tag team partner, 220 pounds… BRETT SANCHEZ! Both guys wave to the crowd in typical jobber fashion. COLE A couple of graduates from OAOVW making their OAOAST debut, but what a challenge they have ahead of them. “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits and the LDCMG head to the ring flanked by green and gold spotlights. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 420 pounds, THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… COLIN MAGUIRE, JR., SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" All business heading into their big title defense Sunday night at Anglepalooza, CMJ and Reiger look to make quick work of their opponents, attacking them immediately. * DINGDINGDING * COACH No doubt the champs are sending a message to the Can-Am Assassins here, Cole. CMJ hammers Manning in the corner with Irish uppercuts as Reiger chops Sanchez. The LDCMG whip their opponents into each other, and then CMJ executes an HARVARDPLEX, with Reiger following up with a SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! Standing dropkick sends Sanchez into the arms of CMJ for an IRISH SUPLEX! COLE The champs looking awesome. COACH And obviously not working by the hour. They got Brett set for the spike Reiger Counter! Sanchez gets spiked and Reiger makes the cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE LDC MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CUE: “The World is Mine” Lorelei pulls out the GIANT MONEYBAGS and the LDCMG place their beaten opponents in them. COLE Not this again. It's degrading. COACH But really damn funny. CMJ and Spencer are taking their moneybags to the pay window! CMJ and Reiger slump the bags over their shoulders and head off to the world famous interview stage where Tony Brannigan is position. BRANNIGAN I’m joined now by the reigning tag team champions of the world, Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr., accompanied by their manager Lorelei DeCenzo. And guys, you’re just hours away from your first televised title defense against the Can-Am Assassins this Sunday night LIVE exclusively on pay-per-view at Anglepalooza. REIGER New York’s Finest returns home, Brannigan. And unlike another rookie who plays in the Big Apple, you’re looking at not one but two young lions who will come through in the clutch. LORELEI Our bags are packed and my boys are ready, Tony. They dethroned the longest reigning tag champions in OAOAST history, a record they will ultimately break and it starts this Sunday with the Can-Am Assassins. In fact, seeing as how Felix and Kenny will be traveling to Spencer’s hometown for Anglepalooza, I’ve taken the liberty of buying a couple of souvenirs for them. (reaches into purse) For Felix, a DVD of the 1991 film “Jungle Fever” by Spike Lee. Because everybody knows he’s got a bad case for me. And for Ken, Axe anti-dandruff shampoo. Just look at his hair. Clearly he’s suffering from irritation. REIGER/LORELEI CMJ Once the hunters but now the hunted. Friend or foe, it don’t matter who gets in our way. The tag titles aren’t going anywhere but around our waists! “The World is Mine” cues again as the champs exit. COLE The tag titles on the line this Sunday at Anglepalooza! We'll be back with more HeldDOWN~!TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT US TITLE MATCHALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEYTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 Returning from break we are back inside the interview lounge Where Tony Brannigan stands with Citizen Soldiers, dressed for ring combat, and Melody Nerdly. TONY BRANNIGAN Hello, OAOAST Galaxy. Tony Brannigan, here in the interview lounge with Citizen Soldiers and their manager Melody Nerdly. You all look very excited about your upcoming Anderson Cup contest against The Heavenly Rockers. MELODY This is exciting! This is the most excited I’ve ever been! Its like buying Mass Effect 2 and finding out the game came with an extra 15000 credits to spend in the game. Finally I can upgrade my Shotgun and waste those Krogan bastards! CASH It is an exciting time for all of us. Baron and I have dreamed of becoming tag team champions and our goal is so close we can almost smell the sweet scent of victory. But, we’re facing a top team in sports entertainment. They’re a strong bunch, and they know how to win. It would be foolish for us to underestimate their talents. Hopefully we’ll come out on top, but if we don’t, we can hold our heads high and honestly say we gave it 110%! TONY Baron Windells? BARON Citizen Soldiers are brave, we’re courageous and we’re heroes. But above all else citizen soldiers are known to hold the line no matter what the cost or what sacrifices must be made to protect what we hold dear. Tony, we hold the line. The treaty of Versailles may have ended World War I but before the ink ever hit that paper citizen soldiers held the line! MELODY Anakin Skywalker may have reunited the force, but Citizen Soldiers held the line! BARON Abraham Lincoln liberated the slaves and reunited the country, but before that citizen soldiers held the line! MELODY James T. Kirk may have saved earth from the rouge Romulan ship from the future, but before that citizen soldiers held the line. BARON World War II may have been won by the atomic bomb, but before that citizen soldiers held the line! Tonight, we may win or we may lose, but we will hold the line! COLE Citizen Soldiers, Heavenly Rockers....its next!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 HEY! WAIT! I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! Multicolored spotlights explode onto the stage, as Nirvana powers through the speakers. The entrance doors rip apart bringing out first Abdullah and Synth Abdul Jabbar, wearing blue tights with white clouds. Behind them, the dirty dealing couple of Logan Mann and Holly embrace in a fiery and animalistic kiss. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following Anderson Cup first round contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Now making their way the ring accompanied by HOLLY… COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents the only rock n' wrestling band that matters... SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR and LOGAN “MACHO MACHO” MANN… THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY ROCKERS!!! The foursome stride down the entrance ramp with Logan and Holly holding hands, mundane behavior for the R rated couple. Synth and Abdullah take point, spreading the holy word to the non-believers. Upon reaching ringside, Abdullah finds his way to the commentary position. Synth and Logan reach the ring apron and taunt the fans who boo them so harshly. COLE Well, I guess we say welcome to Colonel Abdullah Abir Nerdly. ABDULLAH And I welcome you into my heart full of love and pride for these Heavenly Rockers. COACH The only rock n wrestling band that matters! BUFFER And their opponents…. 3 Doors Down’s ode to the armed forces, Citizen Soldier, replaces Heartshaped Box. Stepping onto stage to a warm reception is Melody Nerdly attired in ultra-cute daisy dukes and flannel top tied up to her nice chest. She motions out for the big guns, Baron Windells and Tim Cash. The two men pat each other on the back in encouragement for their tough road ahead. Next Melody points to the ring, and leads her charges down the ramp. BUFFER First, from Peoria, Illinois, wrestling’s last real good guy… TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH! His tag team partner, hailing from San Antonio, Texas… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BBAAAAARRRRROOOOOOOOOONN WINDELS! Collectively they are CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE A lot of history between Melody, Baron and The Heavenly Rockers. ABDULLAH History that will one day show the just actions of Synth and Logan! Let it not be forgotten that these men fight for a nobler cause than the banal pursuits of Tim Cash and Baron Windells. In their corner, Cash and Windells discuss strategy. Not exactly a patient person, Mann demands they hurry to start the contest. Cash thanks Logan for his great athletic spirit, but requests more time for planning. Mann can’t and won’t abide by this favor and rushes across the ring to attack Cash. As BW berates Logan for his lack of class, Mann pummels his partner with his lethal left hands. Weakening Cash with those shots, Mann hurls him into the ropes. He lowers his head, expecting Timmy to leapfrog him. But the former EMT surprises him by kicking him in the chest. Mann rockets upwards, clutching his sore pecs. “YEAAAAAAA!” Deciding to let bygones be bygones, Cash offers Mann his hand in friendship. In return Mann offers his spit, chucking it into Cash’s face. Unlike many, who would immediately throw punches at such a gesture, Cash merely wipes his face off. He then happily agrees to a lockup with Mann. The lockup doesn’t last very long before Cash snatches Logan into a side headlock. He wrenches and torques on the hold, causing Logan frustrating pain. Eager to be free of Cash, Mann starts to shove him into the ropes. Cash is able to hold on to the hold for some time, but eventually Mann manages to toss him into the orange ring cables. When he returns, Mann flips him to the canvas with an arm drag. But as he goes to scoop Cash off the mat, the Peoria native kicks him in the face. Mann falls over to the ground, but quickly heads to his feet. Unfortunatley, Cash has done the same thing and easily flips him with a sitout hip toss. COLE They say nice guy’s finish last, but Cash is finishing first in the race out the gate. Continuing to show the class that makes him a beloved superstar, Cash offers Mann a helping hand to get to his feet. Visibly annoyed, Logan takes this offer. However, midway up he slugs Cash in the stomach with a left hand. COLE Oh come on! You can approve of that Abdullah? ABDULLAH We are all one under god’s umbrella. COLE That didn’t answer my question. Logan slaps Cash around, taunting him with cruel words. Next he leaps into the air for a dropkick. But Cash catches onto his legs and slams the rock n wrestling legend to the ground! As Logan grimaces in pain, Cash bridges backwards and slings him to the CS corner. There BW waits for Logan, and strikes him with an elbow as he arrives! Logan falls back to the canvas, where he holds his hands against his throbbing head. “Come on, Logan, you can do (beep) than that (beep)!” Holly shouts from the outside. COACH Imagine what she sounds like in bed! A tag is applied to The Lonestar Gunslinger. His entrance is greeted with a scream of glee from DA LADIES~! Mann is decidedly less pleased than the female fans, especially when BW hooks him into a front facelock. BW then grabs onto his leather pants and foists the MACHO Macho Mann into the air. He delays for sometime, and points a finger at Synth to warn him he’s next. As the goggle wearing superstar enters the ring, BW throws his partner backwards with the vertical suplex! Both Melody and the sold out audience reward BW with a large cheer. COLE Scary power! Scary power from The Lonestar Gunslinger. ABDULLAH Children of the demon are often born with superior strength, but it is the shining light of goodness in Logan’s soul that will prevail. BW scrapes Logan off the canvas by his fluffy afro. He then launches Mann across the ring, throwing him into a neutral corner. Logan hits with such impact and force that he tumbles to the ground. His hands find his sore back, as BW hops to his feet. Windells walks over to his position, and guides him off the canvas. He shoves Mann into the corner, and promptly batters him with an array of elbow strikes. Mann tries to cover up, but that does little to stop the blows from hurting most painfully. Windells brings the strikes to an abrupt end. But he does this only so that he may whip Mann across the ring to the opposite corner. Windells gives a fast chase, rushing after Logan the moment he hits the ring posts. But Mann lifts up his feet and wards off BW with his raised boots. Windells stumbles away, his face throbbing from the unexpected attack. Behind him, Mann elevates himself onto the second. turnbuckle. COLE Mann is cooking up something! Logan raises his arms and springs forward with an axe handle smash. But BW is well recovered and intercepts his descent with a boot to the midsection. This hobbles Logan, leaving him doubled over and easily sucked into BW’s front facelock. The handsome cowboy signals for the Brigham Young Cocktail (leaping DDT), which draws a cheer from the rafters. But he never gets a chance to execute that move, as Synth leans into the ring to headbutt him in the nose! Windells topples to the canavs, as small drops of blood creep from his nose. COLE It is remarkable to me that Synth is allowed to wear snowboarding goggles into the ring. He isn’t Shaun White, this isn’t the X games. An Anderson Cup match could be decided by his goggles. ABDULLAH Brother Michael , do not speak that of which you have little understanding. The goggles are sanctioned under the athletic commission of every state in this fine country. Mann makes a tag to Synth, who’s eager to follow up his assault on BW. He hounds BW across the canvas, and finally brings him upright by the back of his tights. A front facelock finds its way around BW’s head. Synth then lifts him into a vertical suplex, delaying the hold so as to deliver a dose of revenge to BW. Mann loves every second of the delayed suplex, and stands on the top rope taunting Windells. Then to his incredible glee, Synth falls backwards to complete the vertical suplex. Synth then hooks the leg for an important pinfall…. ONE! TWO! BW kicks out, letting Cash breathe a sigh of relief. Less pleased is Synth, who sits BW up and batters the side of his head with forearms. The pain is incredible, and it only continues as Synth locks him down with a reverse chinlock. Cash immediately takes to the task of rallying his partner, and the capacity crowd joins in on the effort. “Shut up you (beep) stupid (beep)!” Holly shrieks from the outside. Holly’s demand only serves to make the audience cheer louder. Its with their strength that Windells is able to find his way upright. But this does him little good as Abdul-Jabbar lifts him into an atomic drop! Windells staggers forward, and finds himself easily shoved into The Rocker’s corner by Synth. There the Vegas native begins ramming his shoulder into Windells’ six packed stomach. Once those attacks are concluded, he switches to peppering BW with closed fists. The ref promptly admonishes Synth for the illegal strikes. But this does BW no good, as Mann is now able to gouge at his eyes from the apron. COLE Now defend that, your “holiness”! COACH All deeds done in the name of God are deeds done well. The crowd gets a reason to cheer as BW begins fighting back against both Heavenly Rockers. But he can only land so many punches, before Synth trips him up with a drop toe hold. COACH Smart move there by Synth. COLE Oh, you’re still here? COACH I was silent out of respect to his holiness. Maybe you oughta do the same, pud puller. Locking Windells down with a grip on his leg, Synth reaches backwards to apply the tag with Logan. As the fans boo Mann’s entry into the contest, he runs off the opposite ropes. He comes back with his left arm angled for BW’s face. But The Gunslinger counters by lunging forward and taking him down with a lariat! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The excitement is contagious, causing Cash to stand atop the second rope and cheer on his resurgent partner. ABDULLAH In the name of God, the beneficent, the merciful. Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who will see these Heavenly Rockers to victory. The tension rises as now both Windells and Mann must make much needed tags with their partners. Each performs the slow and arduous crawl to their corners , the crowd cheering on BW and only Holly singing the praises for Mann. COACH Its neck and neck! Windells wins the tight race with a lunging tag to The Ultimate Good Guy! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans shout as Cash makes his appearance in the ring. Forced to fight off Cash before he can make a tag, Mann begins throwing his wicked left hooks. But Cash bobs and weaves, causing Logan to miss entirely. “If I could offer you some advice,” Cash kindly says “you want to turn your hips into your punch. Right now you’re turning your back.” “Shut the hell up, asshole!” Mann barks, and then takes off to the ropes. But as he comes back Cash grabs onto his leg and throws him upward with a flap jack! Mann absorbs the painful landing, and hastily returns to his feet. But he’s only caught with a dropkick to the face! Upon landing he makes the terrible mistake of rolling towards a neutral corner in order to catch his breath. This is a folly, as Cash now climbs to the top rope to put Mann in a perilous position. The Peoria native claps to the cheering crowd, and then flies off with an elbow drop! However, Holly pulls Mann out the way and Cash is left to crash into rock solid canvas. COLE A devastating miss by wrestling’s last real good guy. ABDULLAH A deserved punishment for a sinner who wears the false cloak of purity. Mann scrambles on top of Cash for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash pops his shoulder off the canvas, giving the fans a reason to celebrate. Mann grumbles to himself about the failed count, as he pulls Cash off the canvas and guides him to the Rockers corner. He slams Cash’s face into the ring posts and then applies the tag to Synth. The spiritual disciple enters the ring and tags his foe with a pair of elbow strikes. These seem to wake Cash up rather than hurt him, and to Synth’s surprise his chest is assailed by knife edge chops. Cash calls a quick end to the chops, and then attempts to whip Synth into a neutral corner. But Synth avoids the move, by reversing the hold and nailing Cash with a short arm neckbreaker! That seems to be enough work for Synth, and he makes a surprising tag to Mann. COACH The Rockers are keeping themselves fresh and fit in this match. Citizen Soldiers both try to be heroes and they stay in the match too long. The hard rocking duo whip Cash into the ropes. When he returns they grab onto his neck and twist him around with a double neckbreaker. With the damage done, a chuckling Abdul-Jabbar exits the ring. This leaves Mann to continue the work on Cash’s neck and tweaks and torques it with a reverse chinlock. Cash grimaces in anguish, but puts forth a valiant effort to fight to his feet. But as soon he stands upright, Mann breaks the hold and begins blasting Cash with his powerful left hand. With Cash staggered, Mann kisses his hand, and then knocks Cash out with a left cross! COLE He got him there! Mann certainly believes so as he attempts pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash gets his foot on the ropes. This frustrates Logan enough that he has to tag in Synth, lest he risk exploding into a temper tantrum. Upon entering the ring, Synth immediately locks Cash inside a neck vice. Windells begins rallying the crowd behind his partner, and its only a matter of mere seconds before Cash begins fighting to his feet. “LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY! LET’S GO TIMMY!” ABDULLAH Someone cut the tongues of these infiendels, they know not who they cheer! Cash eventually pulls himself upright and begins elbowing at Synth’s paunchy stomach. Winning his freedom from the neck vice, Cash runs into the ropes. But when he reaches Synth he’s struck by a bossman slam! “BOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Synth hooks the legs for the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash makes a kickout, which causes Synth to throw a tantrum that could almost rival his hot head partner. In order to not get kicked out the ring, Synth has to make a tag to Mann. Of course, Logan comes in with some choice words for the referee as he and Synth bring Cash to his feet. They irish whip him to the ropes, and strike him down with double back elbows. Logan then makes the critical pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Cash again finds the will to make the kickout. As the audience cheers him, he begins a slow rise to his feet. But Mann captures him into a side headlock, seeking to hold him down. But Cash puts forth a monumental struggle and begins pushing his way towards Baron. BW sees this and stretches his long arms as long as they can possibly go. But that’s not enough for Cash, and the former EMT is forced to fight back with hard knife-edge chops. The fans grow louder with their cheers as it seems Cash is closer and closer to his goal. But Mann stuns him with a boot to the stomach, and then whirls around for a spinning back fist. But Cash rolls beneath his arms and applies a tag to BW! “YEAAAAAAA!” Forgoing any attention to the rules of the ring, Synth rushes into the ring to intercept BW. Unfortunately his troubles go to waste as he’s turned inside out with a diving lariat! ABDULLAH This is bad, my brothers! This is very bad! BW strikes at Synth with hard right hands, that weaken him enough to be thrown into the ropes. On Synth’s return he ducks a clothesline and continues to the ropes. But when he makes his way back towards BW he’s chucked over head by the Devil’s Addiction (fallaway slam)! BW then rushes towards the apron and punches Logan in the face! This leaves him free to pin Synth… ONE! TWO! ‘ Synth makes the kickout! Back into the ring, is Logan, charging at top speeds. But he’s grabbed by Baron and punished with a lethal spine buster! “YEAAAAAAA!” This might result in a successful pinfall if Holly hadn’t gotten the attention of the referee. Windells decides to aid the referee in doing his job and marches towards his position. But he steps just a wee bit to close to Synth. This is unfortunate as Synth shoves him into the referee! Aghast at being touched by a competitor, the referee turns around in anger. He spots BW first, understandably assuming he’s the culprit. As such he calls for the bell and DQs Citizen Soldiers! COLE I don’t believe it! ABDULLAH Ingenious, my child. Ingenious. The Heavenly Rockers wisely clear out the ring, sparing themselves from a beat down by distressed and enraged Baron Windells. Holly and Abdullah quickly run to catch up with their retreating comrades. COLE Citizen Soldiers got jobbed in every since of the word! COACH The stakes are too high to play by the rules, Mikey. You know that. Go hard or go home! COLE Well, be that as it may, we still have more HeldDOWN tonight, days away from Anglepalooza!TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT UNITED STATES TITLEALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS DETECTIVE BOSLEYTONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 BUFFER The following contest is a five man, Over The Top Rope Challenge, where the only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope, with both feet hitting the floor and the last man standing will be declared the winner. Already in the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... TTHHHEEEE LLLOOOOOOVVEEEEE DDOOOOCCTTOOOOORRRRRSSSS!!! And, from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, MORACCA and MARIACHI... LOS DDIIIAAAABBLLLOOOOSSS DDEEEEE FFFFUUUUEEEEEEGGOOOOO!!! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "Liberate" by Disturbed powers through the arena and the sounds of BOOS greets it, for perhaps the first time ever. Marching through the entrance, Bohemoth holds his head high as he strides towards the ring, eyes locked on the ring rather than the crowd. BUFFER And, finally, from Greenville, South Carolina... he is the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The turncoat, Bohemoth, who a couple of weeks ago was involved in that vicious attack on Zack Malibu here on HeldDOWN~! And still the question remains unanswered, WHY? Why did Bohemoth do what he did to Zack Malibu and apparantly allign himself with our 50% owner Anglesault? Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and into the ring, with all four of his opponents looking on from the other side of the ring pensively. COACH Well we don't need to ask why this match is happening, do we? COLE No. A little pre-Lethal Rumble "tune-up" for last year's winner, looking to become the first man to repeat as Lethal Rumble winner. Hopping back and forth on his toes Bohemoth limbers up as the boos continue to come his way. *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds it's hardly all action, The Love Doctors and Los Diablos all hesitant to jump into the battle. Bohemoth continues hopping back and forth as he roars at them all to "COME ON". Finally The Love Doctors bite the bullet and charge forward, trying to overwhelm Bohemoth two on one. But Bohemoth steps forward and BLASTS them both with a double clothesline! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth steps over Max and Stephen's bodies, closing in on Los Diablos. The Mexican homies realise they're in trouble and pounce, leaping at Bohemoth and clinging onto it him in a vain effort to do... something. Perhaps just feel his muscles. COLE Tonight is not the night for Los Diablos' games. Shrugging off Mariachi, Bohemoth peels Moracca from around his leg and picks him up, by the throat, then hurls him over to the mat! Moracca goes spinning off to the side, as his partner tries to defend his honour, but steps into a big boot to the face! "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" "YOU SOLD OUT!" COACH Yeah, but do you think he cares? Pigley makes a move towards Bohemoth but gets caught by the throat. Bohemoth stares into Pigley's eyes for a second, before scooping him up and delivering the SPINEBUSTER~! COLE And Bohemoth is just picking apart these four OAOAST superstars, one by one! Next up is Dr. Anderson, able to get a shot in on Bohemoth. He connects with a couple of right hands, then connects with a spinning backfist, seeming to daze Bohemoth a little. Anderson sees this and quickly hits the ropes. Bohemoth shakes the shot off though and catches Dr. Anderson's attempted clothesline. To Dr. Max's anguish Bohemoth then contorts the arm and wraps the good doctor up for a COBRA CLUTCH BACKBREAKER, sending Dr. Max in search of a chiropractor!! COACH If the idea was to send a message, then... mission accomplished. COLE As if Bohemoth wasn't already one to fear in the Lethal Rumble before! Walking over, Bohemoth picks Dr. Pigley up off the mat. With the most casuality possible, he then chucks him over the top rope, to the outside! COACH There goes one. Bohemoth turns around and grabs Mariachi, who had been laying in the corner. Picked back up, Mariachi is lifted up by Bohemoth, over his head. Bohemoth then takes aim and from the gorilla press THROWS Mariachi, into Moracca, CAUSING BOTH LOS DIABLOS TO GO FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE IN A HEAP!!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE OH, MY~! COACH You've gotta be kiddin'! COLE Bohemoth is absolutely DOMINANT. Eyes wide, Bohemoth looks around for his final victim. Dr. Anderson struggles to his feet, nursing his back. By the scruff of the neck he's picked up by Bohemoth, who looks over to the ropes... ....but changes his mind about throwing Anderson out, deciding instead to hit him with another SPINEBUSTER first!!! COLE I think the message is being sent loud and clear, by last year's Lethal Rumble winner. He's out for 2 in a row. COACH And who the hell's gonna stop him? Bohemoth drags Anderson off the mat and completes the inevitable, tossing him over the top to win the match. *DINGDINGDING* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Over The Tope Rope Challenge... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOTTTTHHHHHHHHH!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Bohemoth with a scary display of authority here tonight. But will he be able to do the same thing that he did tonight to 29 of the OAOAST's finest, in Madison Square Garden? Somehow I doubt it'll be quite so easy this Sunday. COACH Or, it may be as easy as Bohemoth wants to make it. COLE But I still want to know why Bohemoth has turned his back on Zack Malibu and on these OAOAST fans. That's what I want to know. Leaving bodies strewn around ringside, Bohemoth leaves the ring and strides back up the aisle with his message sent, loudly and clearly, to everybody else in the Lethal Rumble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 We find the beautiful and intelligent Molly Nerdly walking down the hallways looking for something interesting to shoot. She finds a subject rather quickly as Rico is standing in front of a doorway. Behind this door a bevy of grunts, shouts and screams fill the air. RICO Yes, yes, there's my favorite senorita. I got the beads if you got the tits. MOLLY Hmmm....perhaps some other time. Might I ask where is all that noise coming from? RICO Scotty and Danny can't figure out who gets to go to the lethal rumble, chica. MOLLY And? RICO And the first person to walk out that room gets in the rumble. MOLLY My oh my. Is the queen aware of this practice? RICO Are ya kidding, chica? If the queen found out she'd have 'em both back on a plane to Scotland and Ireland before you could even fill up your plate with haggis! Bloody, beaten, and bruised Scottish Scott staggers out from the doorway. SCOTT I....guess I'm in. Rico pats Scott on the back as he slumps against the door from the mortal exhaustion. MOLLY (derisive) Boys. Elsewhere backstage, we find Josh Matthews, stood by with some special guests, Cucaracha Internacional. MATTHEWS AnglePalooza is just a couple of days away, which of course means the Lethal Rumble, the once a year extravaganza is on the horizon. And joining me right now are a group with plenty of Lethal Rumble involvement this year, Cucaracha Internacional. Landon smirks and nods, pleased with himself as always. MATTHEWS And my question to you Landon is, for months you've been talking up Cucaracha Internacional as the strongest unit in the OAOAST... but this Sunday, it will be every man for himself. How is that going to affect you going into Sunday? MADDIX Was that the most obvious question you could have asked me, or what? Hurt that his reporting skills have been called into question, Josh frowns. MADDIX You could have seen that question coming from two miles away, it was so obvious. Infact, I was so confident you'd ask me that question, I actually pre-prepared an answer. Yup. Wrote it down last night, ready for this exact moment. Megan, hand me the paper please. MEGAN What paper... MADDIX There is no paper. See, Josh, I was being sarcastic, to make a point. But nevermind that. You want to know how the Lethal Rumble is going to go with Cucaracha Internacional? Every man for himself, only one can win, and so on. Yes, on the face of it, that's going to pose a bit of a problem. See, obviously, I'm in the Lethal Rumble. And as the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, maybe you'd think that I expect to be allowed to win. Where-as, Nathaniel Black is in the Lethal Rumble... Black scowls, his arms folded, not interested in this interview at all. MADDIX And I'm sure if you asked him, he'd tell you that he'd want to win the Lethal Rumble and be the one to go to AngleMania. Or, perhaps Faqu... Looking over at his Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu just kinda snorts at Landon. MADDIX ...well, I wouldn't waste your time asking him, but suffice is to say, when Faqu gets into that ring on Sunday, it'll be FAQU SMASH. And it'd be a brave man who tries to tell him he's not going to win. Now... MATTHEWS What about James? MADDIX That's not important. MATTHEWS James, do you not want to win the Lethal Rumble? We pan over to Blonde, who is standing off-screen, pouting. BLONDE I'm... not in the Rumble. Not filled in on that, Josh looks a little embarrassed. An awkward silence fills the air, except for Faqu's heaty breathing. Landon tugs on his collar, awkwardly. MADDIX SO! You're probably thinking, "Gee, that sounds like trouble". Landon wants to win. Black wants to win. Faqu wants to win. But, they can't all win. So something has got to give. You know how we're going to settle it, Josh? MATTHEWS How? MADDIX We're going to let the better man win! That's our plan. MATTHEWS Wait, really!? MADDIX Yes really. Look, no matter what happens in the Rumble, what you see here is a common bond that's too strong to be broken. The 8-Man Tag Team Champions of the world. Four men from four great wrestling countries. We are a team. We are a unit. We are, as you quite rightly said, the strongest unit in the OAOAST. But the Rumble's different. It's one night, one match. It doesn't have to affect anything we're doing or anything we're about. It is what it is! So if Nathaniel happens to be the last man standing at the end of it? Great! I'll be delighted for him... "chuffed", as I think they say in England. And if I win then I know these guys'll be the very first to congratulate me and wish me luck on once again becoming the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, a true international World Champion. But, whatever happens, whether I end up winning or whether something unforeseen happens and Nathaniel or Faqu do instead, it really doesn't matter. We'll settle it right there in the ring, in Madison Square Garden, New York state of mind! That right there is the plan. It's so simple, even an idiot could have formulated it. MEGAN Yup. MADDIX Thank you, Megan. See, with support like that, how could this unit possibly be broken? Rubbing his hands with satisfaction, Landon walks off. Black and Megan exchange one of their "looks" and a shake of their heads at what they have to deal with and they follow, with Blonde kicking up dirt and grumbling to himself at the back of the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2013 I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT! The epitome of male chauvinism, Detective Bosley steps through the HeldDOWN~! entrance doors. A cigarette hangs from his mouth, as he observes the audience with cool disdain behind thick sunglasses. He wears off white pants, and a black blazer that makes his shoulders look like twin mountains. Smirking to himself, he begins gliding down the entrance ramp. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for the United States Championship title bout! Now making his way to the ring, from New York City, he weighes in at two hundred sixty five pounds, he is the ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP DETECTIVE TANGOOOO BOOSSSSLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Bosley’s name is met with boos and thumbs down from many an audience member. He ignores these catcalls and instead runs the ropes to warm himself up for the title bout. COLE Bosley won a battle royal to earn this title shot on Syndicated, we’ll see if he can be as lucky in the Lethal Rumble on Sunday Night from his town New York City. Cue: "David Guetta ft. Akon-Sexy Bitch"She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" A huge ovation spreads through the stands, as the famillar bar scene slides onto the stage. Stretched across the counter top in heavenly splendor is Alix Maria Spezia; her firm cheeks showed off in sexy white booty shorts, and her ample chest bursting through a furry white bikini top. Alix finally leaps off the bar and blows a kiss to the camera. The home viewers witness super imposed red lips popping up on screen. BUFFER And the champion! She is a four time tag team champion, a two time 24/7 champion, and a winner of no less than twenty seven Angle Awards, and the current United States Champion, she is the Princess of Los Angeles, The Hollywood Bad Girl…..ALIX MARIAAAAA SPEEEZZZZZIAAAAAAA Another large pop erupts from the stands as Alix makes her down the ramp, slapping hands with her loyal fans. COLE Chicks Over Dicks may be entered into the Anderson Cup, but that hasn’t stopped Alix from defending her United States Title. Tonight she meets one of the meanest, cruelest people you can ever know, Detective Tango Bosley. Alix trots up the ring steps, leading her to leap onto the second rope. From there she flashes the peace sign to the roaring audience members. COLE Should be an interesting battle with Bosley gunning for his first singles title in the OAOAST. DING DING DING ALIX Alright! Cartwheel time! Much to the confusion of everyone present, Alix begins carwheeling around the ring. Bosley makes an effort to capture the elusive champion, but fails horribly. Visibly frustrated he turns towards the referee. BOSLEY Make her stop! The referee tries to communicate with Alix, but the brunette babe is too busy wheeling around the ring. BOSLEY I said make her stop, you stupid referee! What the hell is your name? ALIX (stopping cartwheels) His name is BJ, and he just looooooves to give it. The poor referee blushes, and shrieks away when Bosley shoots him a nasty glare. Taking away his attention from the referee he steps towards Alix for a lock up. The hold only lasts for a short second, before Bosley grabs onto her brown locks and throws her head against the turnbuckles. She stumbles away, but Bosley rushes her and lays her out with a shoulder tackle. He pounds his fits in triumph, savoring his harsh move. Next, he picks her up by the back of her tube top, and attempts to slam her pretty face into the ringposts. But the Princess of Los Angeles, puts her snowboot onto the bottom rope and blocks the attack! She then whirls around and begins lighting up Bosley’s chest with brutal knife edge chops. Alix cuts the chopping to an end, and backs herself to the ropes. She rushes back only to find Bosley has bent over. ALIX Ummm…..what are you doing, dude? BOSLEY What the hell do you think I’m doing? Leapfrog me, you stupid bitch! ALIX Leapfrog? I love leapfrog! Alix leapfrogs Bosley, and promptly invites the referee to leapfrog her. She then leapfrogs him…and connects with a lariat to the challenger’s chest! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream as Alix attempts a pinfall….. ONE! TWO! Bosley throws Alix off his body! ALIX (flying backwards) Wheeeeeee! Again! Again! Alix pins Bosley once more…. ONE! TWO! Bosley throws her off him once more. ALIX Wheeeeeee! Fun! Again! Again! Bosley gruffly asserts his refusal and makes a hasty return to his feet. He swings an elbow at the champion, but she slides beneath it and runs to the ropes. She leaps onto the second cable and spring boards back with an axe handle. But Bosley flashes his foot forward and stabs her in the gut. He then grabs onto the seat of her booty shorts and throws her beneath the first rope and out onto the ringside area. Alix lands near the guardrail, and immediately begins chastising herself. FRONT ROW FAN Hey, don’t come down on yourself! ALIX Come down on myself? Wow, if I could do that, I wouldn’t need Krista! Pepped up by the thought of going down on herself, Alix hastily rushes to the ring apron! Spotting her arrival is Bosley, and the former NYPD officer takes aim with a polish hammer. But Alix lowers her body and strikes him in the gut. This doubles up Bosley and allows the bubbly babe to sling shot herself over the ropes and bring down her challenger with an X-factor! Alix then falls atop Bosley for a pinfall… ONE! Bosley gives a fast kickout. Leaving Bosley to work his way back upright, Alix takes to the ropes. When she returns she leaps forward with arms raised. But Bosley rips her out the skies with a devastating lariat! Alix quickly tumbles downward, eliciting groans from the sold out audience. COLE Excellent speed by Bosley to catch perhaps the fastest performer in the OAOAST. Bosley scrapes Alix off the canvas, and situates her against his shoulders. He then lifts her up and drives her backwards into the canvas with a back suplex. A pinfall is then made…. ONE! TWO! Alix kicksout, bringing delight and relief to the OAOAST Galaxy. COACH Damn, you ain’t gonna be able to beat her with a back drop. Bosley has got to step up his game. Angered over the failed pin, Bosley violently rams his boot into the top of Alix’s head. He then hauls her upright, only to level her back down with a short arm lariat. As she clutches her aching head, he circles around to proudly admire his sinister handiwork. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” Grabbing Alix by the ribbons in her hair,the ex-cop yanks her away from the canvas. Continuing his churlish ways, Bosley rips out several of the ribbons in her hair and laughes wildly as he does so. COLE What a despicable human being he is! COACH He’s the Alpha Male Of the Group, sometimes you gotta put the alpha females in their place. Alix gets to her feet and begins trading shots with Bosley. It’s a battle she has no hope of winning though as the AMOG headbutts her to the ground. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” the fans bleat as Bosley begins picking her back up. The support of the audience provides Alix considerable strength. This allows her to shove several of her ribbons into his mouth! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” With a mouth full of ribbons, Bosley is struck by a dropsault! He goes teetering backwards, dizzied and dazed from the attack. This causes Alix to make a beeline for the ropes. But as she returns Bosley counters by flipping her backwards with a back body drop. Alix crashes into the mat with booming thud, instantly causing her aggravating pain. BOSLEY Bolsey, bitches! Yeah! “BOSLEY’S A PUSSY! BOSLEY’S A PUSSY! BOSLEY’S A PUSSY!” BOSLEY Shut it, retards! COLE Bosley has got to worry more about Alix, then what the OAOAST Galaxy has to say about him. Still chewing out the audience for their cruel words, the detective hooks onto Alix’s bare legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix flings her shoulder off the canvas, which brings smiles to the faces of the audience. Bosley, is of course, not smiling. With a frustrated expression, he clamps his arm beneath her head for an inverted chinlock. BOSLEY Ask her! Ask her if she quits! Hurry up and ask, bitch! The answer is a firm and resilient no. The fans applaud Alix’s staunch refusal to submit to the hold. BOSLEY No one beats the Alpha Male of the Group! He can’t be stopped! Bosley wrenches at Alix’s neck, sending pain shooting across her upper body. The New York native, continues to bark at her, only causing her greater frustration. The fans, however, are solidly behind the Hollywood Bad Girl, and she’s uses their support to find the strength to power to her feet. Bosley remains ever vigilant in his hold, now forced to wrap his arms her collarbone. ALIX (pointing to above her head) A light bulb! Its hanging over my head! Can’t you see it? BOSLEY Shut up! ALIX Shut up and do this? Alix leaps up, and wraps her tanned legs around Bosley’s body. To his and the audiences immense pleasure, Alix begins wiggling her body against Bosley’s, and thrusting into him proactively BOLSEY ALIX Gotcha! Bosley’s grip loosens and Alix is a free woman. She puts this new found freedom to use with several elbows into Bosley’s throat. Wheezing he tries to shove her away with a winging punch. But Alix lifts her boots onto the second rope to avoid him, and then strikes him down with a springboard spear! Alix whips her head back, showing off her lovely hair, and then smiles at the cheering audience. She then hooks onto both of Bosley’s legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! But Bosley disappoints her and the audience with an unwelcome kickout. Cursing himself over almost being pinned, Bosley rises to his feet. But his arm is seized by Alix, who attempts to whip him into the ropes. But the New Yorker avoids the tactic and instead Alix is thrown into the ropes! On her return, Bosley lashes out with a lariat. But the Hollywood Bad Girl ducks the attack, and continues to the ropes. She takes to the third one, and shouts “WHOOOOOOO!” as she sails back with crossbody block! The two competitors tumble to the ground with Alix landing atop Bosley for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Bosley makes the kickout. As he struggles towards his vertical base, Alix takes another run of the ropes. But as she returns, Bosley hobbles her with a kick to the shin. This lets Bosley trap her arms within his for the Justifiable Homicide (unprettier). But as he starts to turn her around Alix begins to slide free of his grip. Thus he’s forced to abandon his finisher and instead karate kick her to the ground. He then dives on top of her for a pin…. ONE! TWO! Alix gets a shoulder up! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” The cheers are quitted when Bosley pulls Alix up and shoves her into the corner. He batters her with a few forearm strikes, before irish whipping her across the ring. Snorting like an enraged bull he charges in after her, but Alix jumps onto the third rope and moonsaults herself behind him! The audience cheers her wonderful show of agility. But once again, they’re robbed of their glee as Bosley lays Alix out with a shuffle sidekick. Bosley smiles broadly as he drops down onto her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix once gets her shoulder up, earning numerous applause from the audience. “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Bosley lays in a few stomps to Alix’s back before ripping her upright. He attempts to fling her into the ropes, but Alix reverses it. Bosley bounces off the ropes arms raised to strike her with an elbow smash. But Alix drops to her stomach, wraps her legs around his ankles and sends him plummeting into the ropes. Bosley lies prone and miserable on the second rope, coughing as the thick material jams into his throat. Alix throws the peace sign to the cheering audience, before making her move to strike. She slides through the ropes and whirls her legs around to strike him with a 619. But Bosley regains his strength and uses that power to grab Alix’s legs and drag her back into the squared circle. COLE Uh-oh, Bosley’s like a shark when it sinks your teeth into you, impossible to escape. BOSLEY You’re screwed now, bitch! ALIX Whoo-hooo, rough sex! Give it to me, daddy! Shocked that his Alpha Male approach actually worked, Bosley is somewhat stunned. This allows Alix to press her boots into his stomach and kick the former NYPD officer away. The hardened cop is thrown into the corner, and slams hard against the turnbuckle posts. The Princess of Los Angeles then zips forward and leaps with her knees to his chest. She monkey flips him towards the center of the ring, but Bosley somewhat manages to land on his feet. Alix is quite frustrated with this and runs after him. But Bosley is aware of her arrival and slams his boot into her pretty face with a savate kick. Bosley crawls on top of her for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Alix finds the strength needed to kick out! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” Barking at the audience for chanting his rival’s name, Bosley yanks Alix off the canvas. He attempts to bash her in the back with a forearm, but meets with failure as Alix shoves him against the ropes. Bosley hasn’t a chance to free himself, before Alix begins choking him on the ropes. COLE Unusual tactic from Alix! Unusual and illegal, as the referee informs her. Alix pouts for several seconds, until she unearths a “brilliant” plan. Referee and audience alike are delighted to see her rip off her top. As the audience salivates over her impressively sized breasts, clad inside a flimsy leopard print bra, Alix happily begins choking Bosley with her top! Unfortunately for her the referee begrudgingly pulls his eyes away from her chest and informs her she can’t choke him with her shirt either. ALIX What’s that over my head? It’s a lightbulb! Alix begins unhooking her bra, ready to unleash gorgeously shaped breasts to the world all for the sake of choking Bosley. But the referee in a lapse of good judgment informs her that’s illegal as well. “BOOOOOOOO!” the fans jeer as Alix stops unhooking her bra. COACH The stupidest man in the universe now resides in the OAOAST. Free from being choked, Bosley attacks Alix with a series of forearms. This weaken the perky superstar enough that he’s able to hook her arms behind his in setup for the Justifiable Homocide. But Alix easily counters that by driving him downwards in a back slide. The referee counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Bosley fights his way out the pin. He quickly picks himself off the canvas, and besieges Alix with a wave of punches. These powerful blows allow him to snag her inside a front facelock. BOSLEY ITS BOSLEY TIME, BITCHES! He lifts Alix into the air for the Arrest & Trial (brain buster)! However, Alix begins squirming in his grip, and throws repeated knees into his head. Bosley can only take so much of this punishment before he’s forced to let her go. BOSLEY YOU’RE DEAD! Bosley swings for the fences with a lunging lariat. However he strikes out in his attempt as Alix grabs onto his arm. She reaches for the other arm, and once she’s secured it she drops down with another backslide pin. The referee hits the mat to score the pinfall… ONE! TWO! Bosley kicks out….BUT HE’S TOO LATE! THREE! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and still United States Champion…….ALIX MARIA SPEZZZZIAAAAAAAAAA! ALIX WHOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO! Alix is delirious with glee and rushes to retrieve her US title belt from the time keeper. Excited she dances with the title, an entertaining sight for her legion of cheering fans. COLE Alix Maria Spezia victorious here tonight, but who will be victorious at Anglepalooza in the Lethal Rumble! Find out this Sunday only on pay per view!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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