OAOAST Syndicated 12/16/09

[Tony149]

OAOAST Syndicated!

With



JESSE VENTURA



TONY SCHIAVONE



LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN



SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

AND



HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

Alix was out of the studio due to a photoshoot for Vouge magazine in Maui, and Maya was absent from studio due to being grounded for enjoying a Christian Wright match. Sooooo we were left with a guest host.....


GARY THE GAY RAT

Gary The Gay Rat slaughtered the crowd with a killer monologue. Some of his gems, "Squeak, squeak, squeak. Squeak squeak!" and, "Squeak....squeak....squeak? Squeak!" And lest I forget, "Squeak squeak squeak. Squeak!" And a true classic "Squeak, squeak? Squeak! Squeak!"

***D*LUX (w/Maya and Jade) Vs Eskimo Kid, and James Riggs***

EK and D*LUX shook hands before the contest begin. But embittered veteran James Riggs spit in the direction of Tyler and Shayne, and barley had a word to utter to his partner. Starting the match, Riggs got early control over Tyler. But that control was short lived as Tyler got the upperhand during a chain wrestling sequence. He and Shayne worked over Riggs, who complained about a lack of help from Eskimo Kid and a biased referee. Eventually Riggs was able to sneak away from D*LUX to make a tag with EK. The Kid looked sharp in the early onset of his turn in the match, trading strikes and holds with both Tyler and Shayne. Unfortunately that did not last long as the teen idols asserted their dominance over EK. The Kid tried to battle back, but had no choice but to seek a tag from Riggs. The veteran was uncooperative and jumped off the apron to leave the match. But before he could make an escape MAYA grabbed hold of him and threw him back into the ring. After that humiliation, he was nailed by a TRIPLE Hit Me Baby One More time by D*LUX and Eskimo Kid for the pinfall.

Winner:, D*LUX, via pinfall.

ONE & ONLY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

What kind of messed up parent would bring their kid to an OAOAST show? WE ARE NOT FOR THE CHILDREN!

HOT NEWZ this week: Lorelei DeCenzo offers the Can-Am Assassins a night they’d never forget in exchange for going through with a NON-TITLE match at WDW Season Beatings. “We could have a little Tex-Mex before heading back to my place for a nightcap; help stuff my taco with extra beef.” Hot stuff, right? Anyway, Lorelei gives the Can-Am Assassins until HeldDOWN~! to sleep on it.

Next up was "So you think you can dance:OAOAST edition"  hosted by the party starter himself, Vinny Valentine on the entrance stage. V-Squared welcomed Molly Nerdly, Simon Singleton, Clem Buzzlefoxer, and Dr.Max Anderson to the dance floor. First up was Singleton, who was pretty fly for a white guy with this dance



Dr.Anderson was up next. The Windy City hunk left the ladies drooling and lusting after his finely scuplted body with a sensual stripping routine that left him in only a pair of skimpy bikini briefs.

Senior official Clem Buzzlefoxer took the floor next, and suffered a flash back to WWII ! With the Axis powers storming "the base" Clem took extreme measures....



Fortunately Simon superkicked him before any harm could be done.

While the 86 year old man recovered from a brutal kick, Molly stepped onto the dance floor. Once again Molly got a little girls gone wild in her....


Before Vinny could turn it over to the audience to vote, The Last Kings Of Scotland and Queen Esther appeared on stage. They derided Vinny for his segment, insisting that he should be focused on their match at WDW's Season's Beatings.  The Kings claimed they'd roll right through PATD on their way to the Anderson Cup. Vinny said that he could spend every night partying to the crack of dawn, and he and Biff would still be ready to roll. Biff came onto the stage to second those thoughts, and promised a victory to all the fans. The Kings and Esther merely laughed at this guarantee, calling Biff a third rate jobber to the stars, and insulting him for his belief in superpowers. Tempers flared at that point and Biff ended up knocking down The Kings with two punches to their jaws! At that point Simon and several referees interjected themselves to prevent further brawling. The Kings and Esther slinked away, promising revenge in the future.


"The Most Interesting Wrestler in the World"


LANDON MADDIX
"I don't always wrestle, but when I do, I wrestle for the OAOAST....stay thirsty my friends

(lol I used KC's character, but he's english so he prbly doesn't get the joke!)

***CPA W/Bosley Vs Baron Windells W/Melody and Tim Cash***

BW worked over the arm during the early parts of the contest. Eventually that strategy wore thin, and CPA was able to lariat BW over the ropes. Lying prone on the ground, BW was hit with repeated stomps from Bosley, until Melody threatened him with her toy lightsabre. Back inside the ring, the two warriors traded heavy blows. The former boxer, CPA, gained the upperhand and took over the contest. He locked down BW with a variety of holds designed to target the neck. CPA then tried an uncharacteristic move; he went to the top rope, heedless of Bosley's warnings not to do saw. Off he came with an axe handle, but BW caught him in the chin with a dropkick.  From there it was all Baron up until he hit the Brigham Young Cocktail (Leaping DDT) for a victory.

Winner: Baron Windells, via pinfall

Lead corespondent Tony Brannigan caught up with Holly, who had somehow commandeered a Nerdly family album. She thumbed through the pages, narrating several pictures. But she noticed something peculiar; Morgan was hardly featured compared to the other kids. According to Holly this meant that even her own family wanted nothing to do with her. Holly continued on to say that the OAOAST officials want nothing to do with her, and they only hired her because of her last name. The Angel Of Death promised that she'd rectify the OAOAST's mistakes. Tony also had good news for Holly; he had been reliably informed that the OAOAST had made their NYS match a no DQ battle! Holly was thrilled, and promised Morgan wouldn't escape the fight without mortal wounds.  


(That's Scottish Scott btw)



JUST ADDED


The Deadly Alliance (Reject, Thunderkid, Sandman9000, Mr. Dick, Arturas) vs Team WDW (Alfdogg, Team Heyross, Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo)

Team WDW took advantage early with a World title shot on the line for Alf.  After getting the better of a ring-clearing brawl, Team Heyross took over on Thunderkid, working on his arm.  TK was able to escape and tag out to Mr. Dick, who quickly fell victim to the same treatment.  Deuce & Jumbo worked their way into the match, overpowering MD until Arturas landed a shot from the apron to Deuce.  Reject and Sandman then took turns pummeling Deuce, getting several near-falls.  Deuce was finally able to evade a high-risk move from Sandman, and made the big tag to Alf.  Alf took turns clotheslining Sandman and TK, then delivered a belly-to-belly on TK, before being blindsided by Arturas.  Arturas lifted Alf in a two-handed chokehold, but Alf went to his eyes, then kicked him low.  Arturas backed into a corner, where Jumbo and Deuce hit a double-avalanche, and held him in the corner, while Mr. Dick fell victim to a double goozle from Team Heyross and a Five-Star Alf Splash. Benjamin tripped up Reject to prevent him from breaking the three-count, earning Alf his opportunity at Season's Beatings.

WINNERS: Team WDW