OAOAST Syndicated 12/9/09

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST Syndicated!

With



JESSE VENTURA



TONY SCHIAVONE



LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN



SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

AND



HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

Alix kicked things off with her usual monolouge with such jokes as "A letter penned by George Washington sold for three million dollars to a local art dealer. Just an hour later a letter penned by me sold for a peanut butter sandwhich and an empty drug neddle to a local crackhead" and "The city is planning an action to curb the number of medical marijuana dispensaries, this runs in conjunction to the city's plan to MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF!"

***French New Wave (Molly and Sophie) Vs Melissa and Malaysia

Sophie started with Malaysia and was quickly overpowered by the mighty beauty. Molly faired no better with her much larger sister. Feeling the match was soon to end, Melissa tagged herself in to get some glory and credit for the defeat. Unfortunately she undid Malaysia's hard work by bumbling against Molly and allowing FNW back into the contest. Sophie and Molly took turns working over Melissa, until Reject's girl got Malaysia back into the match. Molly fared a bit better early on, but was brought down by Malaysia's powerful attacks. Eventually Sophie made the hot tag with Molly, and cleaned house (no sexist). Melissa was dealt with easily enough but Malaysia proved a problem for Sophie. However, Molly distracted her with her much loved and much controversial flashing routine (she had a bra on). This attracted Malaysia, was is kind of incestuous if you think about it! Incestuous and hot! Sophie rolled up Malaysia at that point but only got a two! Malaysia took control and hit the Canadian Backbreaker Piledriver for the win.

Winner: Malaysia and Melissa, via pinfall

Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with Team Heyross, Deuce Deuce Bigelow and Jumbo about their tag title match later in the program. Team Heyross said it was their way of thanking Deuce and Jumbo for their support in recent weeks, notably at November Reign, but that friendship would be out the window once the bell rang. Deuce and Jumbo stated they understood and wished Team Heyross the best of luck.

In this week’s HOT NEWZ~!, Maggie Nerdly plugged the upcoming New Year’s Spectacular and Anderson Cup. This year’s AC will go back to the 8 team format that started it all, with the following clubs already entered:

The Orange County Cobras (2009 AC Champions)
LDC Moneygang
And a mystery team

Then a LDC Moneygang promo aired in which they cried foul about having to win the AC in order to get another tag title shot, again reiterating they’re the uncrowned champs. CMJ ended the promo with a warning to all OAOAST tag teams: “Nobody’s safe until the gold is ours.”

It was time for are you smarter than Vinny Valentine, hosted by Maya and featuring Vinny Valentine and OAOAST Super Mark Anthony Laurie. The first question was for Laurie and it was "How do you spell Maya" Laurie got the answer in a matter of seconds, the next question was for Vinny, "How do you think the deadly blast in Multan will effect Pakistani Taliban recuritment in the coming months" Vinny's response, "Isn't Multan a movie about that Disney bird?" Needless to say Laurie was eventually crowned smarter than Vinny Valentine.  

***Christian Wright Vs ????***

Wright started the segment by complaining that people were acussing him of facing inferior competition to pad his win streak. The Natural said it was nothing of the sort, he was instead doing his part to help the younger generation make a name for themselves. That "Selfless" reason was the only reason he extended his challenges to the OAOVW superstars. Today's contestant was a stocky ex-football player from Rutgers named "Killer Cam"

KC started things off with a flurry of energy battering Wright with powerful punches. The strikes landed with enough force to push CW out the ring in order to regain his breath. KC followed him to the outside, and gave him no moment to call his energy back. KC pounded on Wright without mercy until, a desperate CW slammed his arm against the ring posts. After that Wright took back control of the contest and eventually defeated KC with the Stockmarket Crash.

Winner: Christian Wright, via pinfall

Post match Wright addressed his WDW Season's Beatings opponent Chris Stevens. He noted that Stevens is a trainer at OAOVW and remarked that he (Wright) was doing more for those kids than Stevens had ever done. Wright claimed he was teaching them better lessons and giving them greater opportunities than Stevens, who had them "mired in the muck of redundancy!" Wright promised the opportunities would be continued and invited all OAOVW students to learn under his tutelage.

Alix and sidekick Maya sat down with Sherlock Holmes star Robert Downey Jr. The three talked first about Maya learning to drive, being taught by her dad Ned. Downey Jr joked that the lessons probably consisted of "your father clutching onto the door handle, ready to bail at the first sign of danger, and routinely screaming AHHHHHHHH!" Maya said that was a close impression but the scream was a little bit higher pitched, and her dad liked to try and jump out the window not the door. Alix suddenly wondered why she wasn't casted to play Watson in the movie. Downey Jr. reminded her that Watson is a male character. Alix said that shouldn't matter "CMJ is a guy and he plays somebody's bitch every week on HeldDOWN~!"

The Deadly Alliance made their way out, and Reject gloated about the victory at NR, then addressed Leon Rodez, noting that Leon only pinned Alix after he hit his finishing move on her, and that it wasn't his choice to not give him a title shot, but rather Josie Baker's.  He says Leon knows he'll never get tired of wiping the mat with his ass.  Sandman9000 gets on the mic next, and is decidedly less jubilant, as he challenges Denzel Spencer to a Heartland title match at Season's Beatings, citing that Denzel has never beat him on a level playing field, but rather in multi-man matches.  Denzel quickly makes his way out to accept Sandman's challenge, noting that he'd "smoke him like ditchweed", a comment which did not please Sandman.  As Denzel was leaving, Alfdogg passed him by on his way out, and noted that while he wasn't giving Leon a shot at his title, there was someone he could give one to.  Reject initially refused, and the two went back and forth at each other, until Reject offered him a condition:  He would give him a title shot at Season's Beatings if he could assemble a five-man team that could defeat his Deadly Alliance squad on next week's show.  Alf agreed to the challenge, with his team to be revealed later.

***One & Only World Tag Team Championship: Team Heyross © vs. Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo***

Neither team was kidding about friendship being out the window once the match began, as Quentin Benjamin offered Jumbo a handshake but struck him with a spinning wheel kick instead, drawing an early near fall and the ire of Deuce. Tempers flared again when Jumbo reserved a whip and Moss got clubbed from behind by Deuce. He and Jumbo would pummel Moss for the next several minutes. A missed flying head BUTT lead to both teams tagging. Benjamin fought off Jumbo and Deuce until Moss rejoined the action, taking Deuce out with him. The finish came when Benjamin evaded a corner avalanche and muscled Jumbo up for a German suplex.

Winners: Team Heyross via pinfall

Both teams shook hands after the match. From there we went straight to the interview stage where Tony Brannigan introduced the Can-Am Assassins. Strutter noted how Team Heyross have been "handing out title shots like Tiger Woods is paying off his mistresses!” He continued, “And you know why? They’re hoping somebody knocks them off before stepping in the ring with us at the New Year‘s Spectacular. We’ve said all along they’re scared of the Can-Am Assassins. Not only are we better looking, we’re also the better team. It’s a fact they don’t want revealed in front of a worldwide TV audience, hence all the title matches booked across the country and around the world.”

To the Can-Am Assassins surprise, Team Heyross joined them onstage eager to shoot back. "Speaking of facts," Benjamin said, "we've defended the title more times than any other team in OAOAST history. But if you can't wait until the New Year's Spectacular, we've got a date open before then."

December 26
WDW's 5th anniversary!

“And in case you’re worried about blowing your opportunity,” Moss added, “we’ll still go through with our previously scheduled match at the New Year’s Spectacular.” A pair of cheapshots followed and Team Heyross were left laying on the arena floor.

“Season's Beatings!” Strutter quipped to close the show.