OAOAST Syndicated 11/18/09

[Chanel #99]

OAOAST Syndicated!

With



JESSE VENTURA



TONY SCHIAVONE



LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN



SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD

AND



HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA

Brought to you by American Express

Alix opened with her usual monolouge, top jokes were "A judge here in LA has recently ordered two paparazzi to stay away from Nicole Richie. That's kinda funny because last year a judge ordered food to stay away from her also. Get it, cause she's anroexic. Now if you'll pardon me, I have to go throwup my lunch." "On Monday a city council rejected a ban on medical Marijuana sales. Oddly enough, just two minutes after that verdict I contracted glaucoma." "The LAPD recently swore in a new police chief. He promised to uphold the standards of the law, perserve the integrity of the force, and to continue harassing black people"

***The Christ Air Express w/Melody Nerdly -VS- The Last Kings Of Scotland w/Queen Esther***
A fast start from the Christ Air Express saw them take command against the Scots. MARV and MEL's speed and telekinetic powers of twinship left Danny Boy and Scott unable to keep up, struck dumb by the CAE's quick double-teams. Queen Esther called her Kings together to regroup. And slowing the pace down was just what the Scots needed. MARV and MEL couldn't match Danny Boy and Scottish Scott's power and the tide turned against them. Isolating MEL, the LKOS slowly and methodically picked their opponent apart as Queen Esther watched on beaming with pride. It was methodicalness that cost the LKOS though. A rehearsed series of charges in the corner all missed, MEL rolling and ducking out of the way of at least four charges before getting the tag! MARV flew into action and blazed through the Scots. Forced to regroup again, Danny Boy and Scott were this time wiped out with somersault dives, first from MEL, then from MARV. Back inside and Scott managed to cut MARV off. Setting up for the Collie-buckie (Spinning front electric chair slam), he almost fell to a victory roll counter. As Scott tried to keep up with MARV, he suddenly saw double, MEL back in to assist with a Happy Ending (Double Ace Crusher). One more dive from MEL then kept Danny Boy out of the way, while MARV finished off Scott with the Marvellousity (Pheonix Splash), leaving Queen Esther horror-struck.

Winners: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall

Alix and sidekick whiz kid Maya Duncan-Blanchard sat down with Tom Burnside, a super OAOAST Mark who constructed 5 foot statues of the OAOAST roster out of popsicle sticks. On display were Leon Rodez, PRL, Malaysia Nerdly, and Denzel Spencer. The interview went fine with Alix feigning interest in this odd hobby. But Maya broke her silence with "So how do your parents feel about you wasting everyday of your life?" Takes after her mother, doesn't she.

***LDC Moneygang w/Lorelei DeCenzo -Vs- Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo***

Still upset over losing the coin flip to determine who’d first get a shot at the tag team championship this week on HeldDOWN~!, Spencer Reiger and CMJ looked to take their frustrations out on Deuce Bigelow and Jumbo. And it looked like they would early on when the pair doubled up on Jumbo, but Jumbo would run through a double clothesline and tag Deuce, who with an assist from Jumbo delivers a slingshot shoulderblock!

Unable to compete with their power, the LDC Moneygang resorted to underhand tactics -- eye rakes, illegal double teams, etc. Late in the match, Deuce fights out of the LDCMG corner and tags Jumbo after performing multiple cartwheels to avoid CMJ and Reiger. Chaos ensues as all four men brawl in the ring. Spinning wheel kick catches CMJ by surprise and Deuce follows him out while Jumbo downs Spencer with a big boot. Jumbo goes for the XL Splash but his leg is grabbed by Lorelei, who slips a pair of brass knuckles to Spencer. Deuce spots the exchange and attempts to stop Spencer, only to get popped. The sound of Deuce’s body hitting the mat causes Jumbo to turn and he too gets walloped. Out cold, Spencer scores the easy pin.  

Winners: LDC Moneygang

Laid out in the ring like beached whales, Deuce and Jumbo are outfitted in official Team Heyross windbreakers (available on OAOASTShop.com) and subjected to paint brushing. This brings out the real Team Heyross and all hell breaks loose as they and the LDCMG go at it. Shortly thereafter the Can-Am Assassins join the action, assisting the LDCMG in a 4 on 2 assault before it's thankfully broken up by OAOAST officials.

Alix and Maya sat down for a second interview, this time with Alfdogg. Things went less humiliating than before as Alfdogg talked about the early days of the OAOAST. He told an interesting story where former OAOAST star Stephen Joseph had his drink spiked with LSD at a house show. He and Alf were meant to wreslte in a cage match for SJ's world title, but all during the cage match SJ had a bad trip and kept seeing mutant spiders on the cage walls. Alix said that was no big deal, because she once played Rockband with Benjamin Franklin and Richard Nixon on acid. Maya got down to business and asked Alf if he'd be willing to be a co-captain with Alix at November Reign. She said she couldn't see anyone else who would provide the leadership that Alf could. Alix was delighted at this idea, "I love the show Alf, and I like dogs, so putting the two together would be SUPER AWESOME!" Alf gladly accepted the invitation and promised victory no matter who winds up teaming with Leon.

OAOAST Heartland title: Denzel Spencer © vs Spanish Fly

Denzel was a big hit with the fans, getting one of the biggest pops of the show.  Fast-paced action all the way, headscissors and springboard moves abound.  Fly was able to gain the advantage when he sidestepped a plancha attempt, and unleashed a kick-based barrage.  Chairs and a trashcan got involved, and Denzel made a comeback after getting a chair in the way of a corner charge, then started in with his signature moves.  Fly was able to dodge a scissor kick, and floored Denzel with a spinning wheel kick.  He then sprung to the top rope, but Denzel blocked a hurricanrana and powerbombed him onto a chair which had been folded out, then wrapped it up with the Kinpuppalick.

Winner: Denzel Spencer


OAOAST Marks rank who has the most "epic" entrance:

1.Krista Isadora Duncan
2.Morgan Nerdly
3.Sandman
4.Landon Maddix
5.Mister Dick
6.Spencer Reiger
7.Baron Windells


Alfdogg vs Vinny Valentine

Alf showed no ring rust (I wonder why!) as he laid into Vinny with chops early, and took him down with a snap suplex.  Alf controlled much of the match, with Vinny getting only a couple short bursts of offense, as he dismantled him with suplexes and eventually got a submission victory with the Sharpshooter.

WINNER: Alfdogg