OAOAST Syndicated 10/7/09

[Chanel #99]

Brought to you by American Express
Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan
Host: Alix Maria Spezia
Theme song:

(link now works!)

Its beat the clock challenge tonight on Syndicated with the winner getting  a world title shot at Halloween Spectacular!

Alix opened the show with Jay Leno headlines. Some of the tasty treats:

Animal cruelty, free speech collide in court
U.S. may not close Guantanamo by January
CBS' Nancy Tellem is in talks to step down from post

Apparently Alix forgot that these were supposed to be, well, funny! Her monolouge was much funnier zinging Lucius Soul with this "Lucius Soul said in an interview with Newsweek that he doesn't always feel comfortable inside an OAOAST ring. OAOAST officials have acted quickly to make the ring more comfortable for Soul by using ropes made out of cocaine!"

Beat The Clock Challenge Match Winner to recieve a shot at Krista Isadora Duncan's world title at Halloween Spectacular
***Spencer Reiger Vs CMJ***
Fisticufffs were the order of the day for the two friends. CMJ hit a homerun with a running axe handle. A chinlock found its way onto Reiger after that. But New York's finest fought out the hold and attacked his partner with a dropkick that sent him tumbling over the ropes. Reiger followed that hard hitting shot with a plancha onto CMJ. Back inside the ring Reiger took over the contest, working over Collin's arm. But Collin fought past the pain to land a butterfly suplex. He pounded on Reiger for some time until the hunky grappler took the advantage with a series of kicks and stiff strikes. Reiger missed a leg lariat from the top rope, allowing CMJ to take over the contest. But an errant powerbomb turned into a hurricanrana cost him as Reiger pulled the 3 count. Post match the two shook hands, and hugged, which did little to please the audience.

Winner: Spencer Reiger, via pinfall, 5:13

Alix welcomed us back to the studio simply to remind us to change our channels because  Rico De Janerio is coming up soon.

Beat The Clock Challenge Match
***Rico de Janeiro w/Queen Esther & “Sweet” Lucius Soul VS Baron Windels w/Tim Cash***

In a match stemming from last week’s SYN main event, Rico de Janeiro took on Baron Windels of Citizen Soldiers. The match began with some pushing and shoving, and then a cheap shot by Rico. Whipped into the corner, Baron would put his boot up as Rico charged in, then connect with a top rope lariat for a near fall. An assist from Lucius would give control of the match back to Rico, eventually leading to a Moustache Ride, which Baron amazingly escaped to hit a bulldog!

Ordered by Queen Esther, Lucius broke up the ensuing pin and then threw powder in the eyes of Tim Cash. A 2 on 1 assault followed until the Orange County Cobras made the save.

WINNER: Baron Windels via DQ 5:34

***Billy Cassidy vs. "The Mad Russian" Sergei Romanski***

Billy Cassidy kicks the leg, knocks Romanski down, and goes to work on it. Cassidy hits a rolling kick on Romanski. Covers for a quick two count. Romanski blocks a kick from Cassidy. Romanski slams Billy Cassidy down and motions to the crowd. Cassidy walks into a high dropkick from Sergei, almost losing several teeth in the process. Cassidy takes a flying neckbreaker from Romanski. Sergei goes for a splash but Cassidy puts the knees up. Cassidy puts Romanski on the top rope. SUPER frankensteiner on Romanski, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Billy Cassidy boots Sergei in the gut. Here it comes - Arizona Iced Death, forget about it. 1....2...3! Paul London remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.

Alix debuted her newest alter ego Trebek el Magnifico, a Mexican psychic who speaks withJamaican accent who knows the answers to cards sealed in an envelope. Even the name is a sly joke. At her side was her trusted sidekick and psychic pal, El Maya (Maya Duncan-Blanchard)! Maya handed Alix the cards sealed inside an envelope and the segment was off and running...

The answer: School's Out, former Vice President Cheney and Jock Mulligan.

The question: Name a kick, a Dick and a Real American Prick.

The answer: Biff Atlas, Tony Romo and a box of chocolates.

The question, which is more a statement, lol: You never know what you're going to get.

The answer: A TV time out.

The question: What’s coming up next?


Beat The Clock Challenge Match
***Leon Rodez w/Morgan Nerdly -VS- J-MAX***
The former World Champion, and former #1 contender, was in even sourer mood than usual after losing at Zero Hour. With the clock working against him, Leon was frustrated by the elusiveness of J-MAX early on. The masked man stayed out of Leon's grasp and eventually sent him rolling outside to collect himself after a variety of headscissors. Leon talked things over with Morgan and got the advantage, as Morgan distracted J-MAX and allowed Leon to attack from behind. Once in control, Rodez slowly picked apart J-MAX, a little too slowly maybe. And the frustration grew again as he failed to put J-MAX away and the clock kept on ticking. With time running down, Leon set up J-MAX for the One Hit Kill, but J-MAX ducked and ALMOST shocked the world by rolling Leon up for 2. J-MAX turned on the burners and started to put Leon on the run again. A blocked hurricanrana lead to a sitout powerbomb by Rodez and a close 2 of his own. Leon would miss a charge in the corner though, leading to a Blockbuster. With Leon down J-MAX headed to the top rope ready to complete the upset. But Morgan provided a distraction again. That allowed Leon to recover, crotching J-MAX on the top rope. Leon then hooked J-MAX by the head and delivered a top rope hanging DDT, spiking J-MAX on his head and leading to him establishing a time of 4:54, narowlly edging out Baron Windells

Alix welcomed former OAOAST Superstar Marceulls Wallace via sattelite from San Quentin State Prison. The two chatted about prison food, gangs, prison BUTT rape, violence, prison BUTT rape, prison guards, prison BUTT rape, and prison BUTT rape. When asked what he felt about the OAOAST top level brass, Wallace had this to say "PALE SUBHUMAN PIGSHIT EATIN SEWER SKUNK CRACKER FAGGOTS! THEY  BELONG IN CAVES CAGES OR A SHALLOW ANIMAL PISS AND SHIT FILLED GRAVE KILL EVERY MOTHAFUCKIN PALE SKUNK CRACKER WHORE FAGGOT! THESE BASTA....


PLZ stay with us during these technical difficulties

Beat The Clock Challenge Match
***Landon Maddix-VS-Christian Wright***
Chained wrestling opened up the contest with both trying their best to wrench the other's from its socket. Out classed by Wright, Maddix resorted to brawling tactics and nailed Wright with a lariat. The CI leader couldn't hold the advantage for very long as Wright hit him with a european uppercut after an errant charged. Staggered Maddix walked himself directtly into a Wright Off from CW. But somehow, Maddix was able to kick out the pinning situation. The two traded strikes and suplexes for several minutes, until Maddix regained control of the contest. Sensing that time was running out, he shot for the G2S numerous times. On each occassion he met with failure as Wright made a hasty escape. The two went back to brawling with Wright overpowering Maddix, The Natural went to the top rope, expecting to be able to hit a body splash. However, Maddix crotched him on the top rope. From there he hit a top rope G2S for the pin. But it was too little to late as Rodez' time could not be beat.

Winner: Landon Maddix, via pinfall 6:03

It was announced there would be a women's costume party at Halloween Spectacular! YAAAAAAYAYAAYAYAY!

Beat The Clock Challenge Match
***Bohemoth -VS- Mr. Dick w/Malaysia***
The final match in the Beat The Clock Challenge saw two of the biggest and baddest going at it, with Leon Rodez's 4:54 the time to beat. Mister Dick dared Bohemoth to start the match with a posedown. Which confused Bo, trying to remind Mr. Dick they were on the clock. Mr. Dick didn't care, but Bohemoth did, laying MD out with a clothesline. Bohemoth ran wild on Mr. Dick right from the get-go. And it looked like Bohemoth would have no problem beating the time, until Mr. Dick took advantage of a referee misdirection and booted Bo low. From that point Mr. Dick took control. And wary of the clock, he even cut out most of his wacky antics. A big STIFF Kick was the closest MD came to victory, before deciding he needed to take a high risk. Which didn't pay, Bohemoth catching Mr. Dick in mid-air with a powerslam! With a minute-thirty left Bohemoth ran wild again. A big boot and a Running Powerslam were a prelude for the thumbs up and the thumbs down. But as Bohemoth scooped MD up, Malaysia got to the apron. Bohemoth ran Mr. Dick's back into Malaysia to take care of her, then delivered the Erotic Awakening Of B. But when Bohemoth made the cover, there was no referee, thanks to MORGAN NERDLY's arrival! She kept the referee tied up long enough for MD to recover and kickout at two once the referee finally made his way over. By this point, the time was running down and Bohemoth was distracted by Morgan standing in the aisle. Mr. Dick tried to pounce from behind, but ran right into a Spinebuster! Quick as he could, Bohemoth dragged Mr. Dick back up, looking to hit another Erotic Awakening... which he did, only for the time-limit to expire before he could make the pinfall!

Winner: No winner

Bohemoth looked shocked, as Leon Rodez walked out to join Morgan on the stage, a smirk on his face with another second chance at Krista and the World Title at the Halloween Spectacular secured.