OAOAST Syndicated 9/12/09

[Tony149]

Brought to you by American Express
Taped: The OAOAST is no respecter of time!
First air date: You heard me!
Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan
Theme song:

(link now works!)

***LDC MONEYGANG VS LOS CONQUESTIADORS***
featuring. Unnecessary capitalization of names!

Uno and Dos finally had their opportunity to enact revenge on the Moneygang. So eager were they that they attacked Reiger and CMJ on the entrance ramp. The four brawled around the ring for several minutes, with the luchadores taking the upper hand. Inside the ring was a different story with The Moneygang able to dominate by isolating Uno. Or at least what they guessed was Uno.  Reiger was hammering at Uno and tried a powerslam off the ropes. But Uno countered with knees to the stomach and made the tag to Dos.  Dos came in with fire and fury, attacking both The Moneygang members. Eventually they subdued Dos and kept him control for several minutes.  Dos would eventually hit a running DDT off an irish whip and apply the tag to Uno. The luchadore ran with wild energy, totally styming Reiger and CMJ, until CMJ managed to chuck him out the ring. But CMJ quickly followed Uno, dumped over by Dos. However Dos soon fell due to a Reiger Counter (pedigree) from New York’s Finest.

Winner: LDC Moneygang, via pinfall

***Nerdly Challenge Series: Go Kart Racing!***

What’s more fun than being crammed into a small automobile mere inches off the ground and going a top speed of 15 miles hour? Nothing, that’s what. Nothing! Maggie and Melissa realized this as they were both ready to go 2 safe acceptable speed 2 furious! The contest was officiated by  avid go cart race fan, and elderly virgin Michael Cole. The Nerdly kids had to drive three laps around the ring. Things went swimmingly for most of the race, until the girls pulled  neck and neck with each on the ramp during the final lap. Melissa tried to run her little sister off the ramp, but failed and ended up taking a tumble to the floor. This allowed Maggie to coast easily to the finish line and secure her spot at Zero Hour. As she was accepting her contract, Kanye West ran on stage proclaiming, “Melissa had one of the best go kart races of all time”  lol I am funny, yes?
NERDLY CHALLENGE BEST OF SEVEN SCORE
MAGGIE-3

MELISSA-1

***Denzel Spencer Vs J-MAX***

A hand shake started off the contest between these two fan favorites. Denzel worked over the legs early on, trying his hardest to keep the high flyer grounded. The strategy worked for sometime until O’Hara reversed an irish whip and hurricanranaed Denzel straight out the ring. The two traded attacks for several minutes, Denzel with karate style strikes and J-MAX with his high risk offense. Eventually J-Max was able to take control of the match and almost ended it with a top rope michonuku driver! Amazingly, Denzel kicked out and swung momentum in his favor. After several near falls Denzel won with the Carribean Compactor! Post match the two shook hands and posed for the cheering audience.

Winner: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall.

OAOAST Q&A, what superstar is most likely to be arrested for possession of illegal narcotics and controlled substances?

BOSLEY: I’ll you who it won’t be! Me. This shit is all natural, 100% clean, cleaner than spic and span, my drug test comes out sparkling like mister clean.This shit, this shit right here is 100% natural clean maximization of mind, body, and soul. You gotta climb like fuckin Tibetan towers and sing to the stars with the Dali Llama to get to the place of higher mind awareness like me. I’m a fuckin revolutionary, you’re all Benedict Arnold. I see you trying to turncoat on me, sell me out to the NARCs and the DEA! Kiss my ass! If I go down I’m taking the whole locker room with me. I’ll snitch, I’ll snitch, I’ll sing like a songbird! Rodez, Bohemoth, PRL, Sandman, all of you are going down with the Alpha Male of The Group! Nobody is safe when I get to snitchin on you bastards!

MORGAN: Bosley.

COACH: Bosley

REJECT: Bosley

FAQU: RAWWWARGHHHHH (translation: Bosley)

***United States Title: Bohemoth Vs ThunderKid***

A ppv match given away for free on syndicated television!  Bo hit with power and muscle right out the gate, dominating ThunderKID. He could no sustain his  furious and hard hitting pace though, and fell victim to TK’s attempts to work over his neck. Bo fought out a neck vice and began his rampaging attack once again. The Green Bay born TK weathered the storm and was able to return back to targeting Bo’s neck. His DDTs and submissions almost managed to put away Bo several times in the affair. But Bo continued to fight back, and came dangerously close to robbing TK of his title. A running powerbomb might have sealed the deal for Bo if it weren’t for Sandman smashing a cane into Bo’s back for a DQ. Post match Bo cleared the house of the Deadly Alliance duo.

Winner:Bohemoth, via DQ