OAOAST Syndicated 8/18/09

[Tony149]

Brought to you by American Express
Taped: Recently
First air date: More recently
Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan
Theme song:

(link now works!)

As I feel bad for HeldDOWN~! being delayed by my personal life, I present to you a star studded Syndicated. Christian Wright, Bohemoth, and Mister Dick all in action on this Syndicated!

***Christian Wright Vs The Eskimo Kid***

Tired of repeating the same dull cycle every week, Wright decided to introduce a fun and unique gimmick to the match. That gimmick was blindfolds…blindfolds for Eskimo Kid only. Wright explained this was all part of paying dues and if EK won, he’d pay him $10,000 of Theodore Moneymaker’s money. Jesse noted that could build a lot of igloos. Apparently EK agreed as he accepted the stipulation. What he also accepted was a hellish ass whopping from The Natural who smoked him within two minutes and left him laying with The Wright Off (sky high)

Winner: Christian Wright, via pinfall

Post match lead broadcast correspondent Tony Brannigan asked why Wright continued to request matches with EK, after he’s continually squashed him. Wright’s answer was simple “a pauper must know his place in front of kings.”

MAGGIE NERDLY VS MELISSA NERDLY CHALLENGE NUMBER 2! BATTING CAGES!

A batting cage was set up near the entrance stage, where Detective Bosley, an avid baseball fan, ran the competition. Despite her small size Maggie Nerdly managed to hit the ball with power, going 8 for ten. Even the chauvinistic Bosley was impressed. Melissa did equally as well, going for 9 for 9. But before the tenth ball was thrown she turned around to taunt Maggie over impending victory. This was rather unwise as a baseball hit her in the back of the head! Due to being unable to continue, Melissa squandered her victory as it was awarded to Maggie.

NERDLY CHALLENGER SCORE: Maggie-2 Melissa-0

***Biff Atlas Vs Mister Dick W/Malaysia***

There were a great deal of “BIFF” chants early in the match which led to Mister Dick wondering why the fans cheered a “freak retard that thinks he’s superman” as opposed to “a legendary collegiate athlete” Taking exception to MD’s comments, Biff clotheslined him directly out the ring. The two men brawled for sometime, exchanging stiff and heavy shots. When the action returned to the ring Biff took some control over the contest. But that was short lived thanks to a stiff kick from Mister Dick. MD beat him down powerful strikes, and almost got a pinfall from the Pure Penetration. Even though things looked firmly in control for MD, United States champion ThunderKid made his way down to ringside to “aid” his stable mate. This help consisted of tossing the belt towards MD, but it was easily intercepted by Biff.  With the referee distracted by TK, Biff laid out MD with the belt. At that point TK oddly retreated up the ramp, and the ref was able to count the three for the shocking win! The crowd exploded from delight over the massive upset.

Winner: Biff Atlas (!!!!!), via pinfall.

After the return from commercial break we found Mister Dick being calmed down by Malaysia and talked out of confronting ThunderKid. Imagine that, Malaysia as the voice of reason.

Elsewhere backstage James Blonde was gloating to the Can-Am Assassins that he had one hell of a victory party scheduled  for he and Landon Maddix after Blonde won his bout against Bohemoth. Blonde said he had paid 500 bucks to rent out a local booth for he and Landon alone, and that he even paid for a luxury suite in the arena for Landon to watch his incredible victory. The CAA’s tried to convience Blonde not to count his chickens before they hatched, but there was no getting through to the Vancouver native.

OAOAST Question and Answer!!

What performer without a world title reign to their name will be the next the champion?

Cole: Bohemoth is an amazing performer with championship credentials.

Charlie Moss: My money is on the big man, Bohemoth

Tony Brannigan: Gotta give it to a fellow Texas boy, Mister Dick. He’s come close this year, and I think its only a matter of time before he lives up to his potential.

Jesse Ventura: Its only a matter of time before Reject gets that itch to use his money in the bank contract.

Theodore Moneymaker: BWAHHAAAAA who else but Christian Wright?

***Bohemoth Vs James Blonde***

Perhaps Bo underestimated Blonde’s ability, because the Canadian was able to own the first several minutes of the contest. But once Bo warmed up and started taking JB seriously he was a force almost unstoppable by Blonde. The big man threw his foe about the ring as though he were as light as a paper clip. Worse yet, he bent Blonde as though he were a paper clip.  The Trendsetter eventually took over the contest, having found success in working over Bo’s knees. But that only carried him so far, and Bo’s strength found him a strong advantage. Bo cruised to an easy victory with the Erotic Awakening of Bohemoth.

Winner: Bohemoth, via pinfall