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OAOAST HeldDown~! 9/4/03


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OFFICIAL HELDDOWN PREVIEW

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COMING HOME

After weeks of taunting, mind games, and overall poor behavior, Calvin Szechstein became OAOAST champion with a victory over Zack Malibu last Sunday at AngleSlam. Zack Malibu will be recuperating from injuries sustained at AngleSlam, but Szechstein will be in the house. What will he have to say to the people of HeldDown? Will he have a match? Are there any more questions that could possibly asked? Are there any answers that could be given without spoilers? Find out TONIGHT.

START A REVOLUTION

After weeks of tournament action, HeldDown's own Axel became the champion of the Revolution Tournament. The true question is, where does he go from here? He's teamed with Mad Matt in the past, but Matt lost to Ragdoll for the X title while Axel has plenty of schwag in his shiny Revolution trophy. Axel will be opening the show with a coronation ceremony - hopefully we'll get some answers there.

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

Crystal has been getting love letters from someone who has been referred to simply as "Secret Admirer". She's also been rehabiliting her leg, but tonight she makes her in-ring return against the Ms. Perfect of OAOAST, Choko! Who will come out on top in this battle of beauty? Tune in TONIGHT~! to find out!

PLUS: Ragdoll tells all, Dream Machines interact with people, and more. Don't miss it!

OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

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OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

September 04, 2003

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Live, and in living color, it's the stars of the OAOAST! See Zack Malibu save five different girls in a night! Marvel at Hex Machina for being SHOCK SATAN LOVER x1000! Gasp in awe as The Dream Machines put everyone in their path to sleep (irony!)!

Your ringmasters for the evening:

coleandcoachman.jpg

The ring is covered in red carpet and there's a big stand in the middle, the OAOAST Revolution Trophy shining brightly on top of it.

Cole: We are ready for the presentation of the OAOAST Revolution Trophy at the top of the show! Coach, you’d better get in that ring.

Coach: On my way Michael.

Coach steps into the ring, microphone in hand.

Coach: For the last month, the OAOAST has been running the Revolution Tournament. The winner of that Tournament not only gets this prestigious trophy, but a couple of little contract stipulations as well, which I am sure the Tournament winner will reveal to you viewers in due time. We had a terrific final match last night, with Intense Zone’s Mad Cappa taking on Axel. Only one man could walk away the victor, and so Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you, the winner of the Revolution Trophy, HeldDOWN’s very own, The Dark One, AXEL!

‘Sabotage’ hits and the spotlight goes all over the arena to find the trophy winner. The spotlight finally sees Axel making his way through the crowd, with black jeans and Leather coat, looking as dark and ominous as ever. The crowd is really behind Axel tonight.

Axel gets up on the apron and does the Crucifix Pose, while hundreds of cameras flash in his face. Axel goes over to the other side of the ring and does the same thing, giving all the fans a look at the Revolution Tournament winner.

Axel steps into the ring, armed with something that we seldom see on his face – a smile.

Coach: Well, congratulations Axel, it was one hell of a victory last night, you came to play in this tournament.

Axel: Thank you Coach. This is just a stepping stone for me. The Revolution Tournament is one of the most prestigious tournaments in the world today. I went through my first round match, a grueling Triple Threat Semi Final match, and then the war that was the final against the Mad Cappa last night at AngleSlam. All my opponents pushed me to my limits, and I came through with the greatest victory of my career last night.

Coach: You said stepping stone Axel; you have been on a roll as of late. You and Mad Matt have been carving up the Tag Division, at one time defeating the current OAOAST Tag Team Champions, The Dream Machines.

Axel: Well yes Coach I have been very successful, and I hope to continue that success.

Coach: You are the OAOAST’s ‘Rookie Monster’. So it is my honor to present to you the Revolution Tournament Trophy.

Coach grabs the trophy and hands it to Axel along with a handshake. Axel raises the trophy up in the air in victory and then places it in the corner of the ring.

Coach: I do have one more question for you though Axel and that is, considering the success that you have had in the past two or three months, what will you do next? Will you go after the Tag Team titles with Mad Matt, or will you avenge the first loss of your career and try to succeed where Matt failed last night, by taking on Ragdoll for the OAOAST X Division Championship? Do you have something else in mind? What is next for Axel?

Axel: Well Coach, this may surprise a few people, but I am not going to be going for the X Division Championship, and I don’t think I will go for the Tag Team Championship just yet, because Matt and I have decided to go our separate ways for a while.

*Crowd boos lightly*

Axel: Coach, I want to live my dream, I want to do the one thing that I have wanted to do since I decided that I wanted to be a wrestler. I want to do what I have trained for over the past five years. I want to do what I have wanted to do ever since I saw the opening exchange of Rob Van Dam versus Jerry Lynn at Hardcore Heaven 2000. Coach, I want to be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.

*The Crowd pops loudly*

Axel: I believe that I can do it Coach, I know that one day I will be the OAOAST Champion, and that day will be sooner, rather than later.

‘I’m The Bomb’ starts up as the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Calvin Szechstein (as brought to you by Pepsi-Cola) and his partner in crime, Colvid make their way to the ramp!

Calvin: Axel, you impress me. I’m on a high after AngleSlam and my epic Championship win, and I’ve got news for you my man, Totally Endorsed is looking for new members.

Cole: Is Calvin going to invite Axel to join Totally Endorsed?

Calvin: So what I am offering you is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! A chance to be a part of the most successful entity in OAOAST history, Axel! I am giving you an invitation to be a part of Totally Endorsed, brought to viewers everywhere by Pepsi-Cola!

*crowd boos loudly and starts up an AX-EL, AX-EL chant*

Cole: The crowd don’t want Axel to join Totally Endorsed; they want him to stay on the good side of OAOAST! Calvin is only offering Axel this chance so Axel doesn’t get a shot at Calvin’s OAOAST Championship!

*Coach has made his way back to announce table*

Coach: This is one hell of an offer Michael, if I was Axel I’d accept!

Axel: I thought about it, and Calvin, making a deal with you could be like making a deal with the devil himself. I would be selling out to every OAOAST superstar, and more importantly, every single OAOAST fan. I’m not going to sell my soul, I’m not going to pimp products at every chance I get, I’m going to keep striving for that belt around your waist Calvin, and I want it more than anything. The Revolution Tournament is only a stepping stone to greater things for me.

Calvin: Axel, Axel, Axel, you don’t understand… you’re not even fit to tie World Championship shoelaces, man. If you don’t want to join us, fine, but if you are not with us, you are certainly against us. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, and I defeated Zack Malibu Sunday night to do it.

*Crowd boos loudly*

Calvin: You aren’t even on my level, man. You see that pretty little trophy there? It means nothing to me. This (points to OAOAST Title Belt) is the only thing that matters to me. No one is taking this away from me, not you, not anyone.

Axel: Well Calvin, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is? You say that belt is not leaving your side, well how about I rip it from your waist after I kick your ass all over this arena?

*Crowd pops HUGE*

Calvin: Axel, apparently you’ve forgotten who I am. Do you have any idea who you are dealing with? I couldn’t, in good conscience give you a title shot tonight, not after my grueling win at AngleSlam! You would be taking advantage of my weakened state!

Cole: Calvin is chickening out here; he knows Axel could cut his title reign short!

*Crowd boos again – ASS-HOLE! ASS-HOLE!*

Calvin (to crowd): People, I may be an asshole, but I make more money than all of you combined.

*Crowd boos much louder this time, all the while Calvin is getting agitated*

Axel: Calvin, shut the hell up and fight me you stupid p***y bastard!

*Crowd: Ooooooohh!*

*Calvin is fuming now, he paces along the ramp while Colvid tries to calm him down!*

Calvin: You want a fight? Well, call your mother and tell her to set her VCR, because tonight, in that very ring, it will be Axel, one-on-one…

*Calvin starts to take off his jacket…*

Calvin: …in a non title match with me, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Good luck for the main event kid, you’ll need it.

*Calvin stops and puts his jacket back on, he laughs*

Axel: Well then Calvin, even though it’s not for the title, it is still going to be the biggest match of my career. So tonight, you will feel the pain, taste the pain, and when it’s all said and done, I will make you like the damn pain!

‘Sabotage’ hits as Totally Endorsed stares at Axel and Axel stares back. Axel grabs his Revolution Trophy and holds it high in the air. Axel puts the trophy down and makes a belt motion around his waist and points to Calvin. Axel leaves the ring and leaves through the crowd.

Cole: What a challenge by Revolution Tournament winner Axel! But does he really know what he is getting himself into Coach?

Coach: I really don’t know Cole, Calvin has allies in Totally Endorsed, while Axel has severed some ties with Mad Matt! Those two have gone their separate ways now!

Cole: The bottom line is, tonight, it will be Axel taking on the new OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Calvin Szechstein in the main event! Stay tuned!

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COLE

Well, Johnny baby, it looks like later tonight Calvin Szechstein's going to go one-on-one with Axel in a non-title match!

COACH

As much as I love Calvin... nonsexually... I love Crystal sexually, and she's up next!

COLE

So are you, for the sake of crude sophomoric humor!

COACH

Shut up, pretty boy!

Announcer: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall!”

Cue: “Stupid Girl”

::Choko appears from behind the curtain, as bouncy and enthusiastic as always.::

Announcer: “Coming down the ring, weighing in at 168 lbs, CHOKO!”

Crowd: “CHOKO! CHOKO! CHOKO!”

::Choko smiles, feeding off the crowd’s cheers, waving at them. She awaits her opponent for the night…::

Cue: “Just a Girl”

::The ol’ smoke machine revs up, with red strobe lights beaming towards the entrance. The returning Crystal emerges, to a big pop::

Announcer: “And her opponent, weighing in at 130 lbs, returning from injury, Crystal!”

::Crystal comes out to a big pop, with the crowd missing her and all after her injury. She makes her way to the ring, smiling out in the crowd, appreciating the reaction.::

Cole: “This should be an interesting match. Choko is thus far undefeated on HeldDown, but hasn’t quite met someone like Crystal in the ring. Crystal, though, might have some ring rust. This match could really go either way. And listen to the fans! They love both these girls!”

::Crystal and Choko shake hands before the action, showing sportsmanship. They circle each other, trying to size each other up. Match starts with elbow and collar tieup, followed by a headlock takedown by Crystal. But Choko locks in the headscissors, Crystal kicks out, and both girls are up again. Crystal hurries to Choko, and is given a hiptoss for her troubles. Another try to Choko, and a fireman carry for her troubles. Choko sizes up Crystal as she is getting up, and goes for the clothesline, which Crystal ducks. Crystal goes for the spinning heel kick, but Choko sucks, so Crystal trips Choko up with her leg instead. Standing moonsault by Crystal and a pin.::

1!

Kickout!

::Barely a one count, as it’s still early in the match. Crystal is slighty quicker at getting up and hooks Choko’s arms as she’s getting up. She does a butterfly suplex, and rolls over with Choko’s arms still locked, and does another butterfly suplex! She holds the second suplex for the pin::

1! Kickout!

::Choko kicks out slightly slower than last time, but still at one. Crystal goes shoots off the rope, going towards Choko, and is met with a spinebuster instead! Choko picks her up and performs a beautiful snap suplex. A quick elbow drop later, Choko goes for the pin.::

1!

2!

Kickout!

::Choko goes the second rope, waiting for Crystal to get up. Choko connects with a floating neckbreaker! She then whips Crystal hard to the corner. She rushes towards her and meets foot. Crystal springs off the second rope, and goes for the cross-body, but Choko ducks it. Crystal rolls through and is up at the same time as Choko. Choko goes for the clothesline, but Crystal ducks, and locks her in a waistlock. Choko reverses with a waistlock of her own, but Crystal snapmares her. She springs off the ropes and dropkicks the back of Choko. The momentum throws Choko towards the rope, who uses the ropes to help her up. Crystal rushes towards her, and is dumped outside by a quick-reflexing Choko. Choko takes advantage and goes for the plancha and connects! Both are up relatively slow, understandably so. Choko, up a little bit fast than Crystal, goes to whip Crystal into the ring apron, but Crystal reverses and it’s Choko’s back that hits the apron. Crystal rolls the pain-ridden Choko into the ring. Crystal springboard clotheslines Choko as she’s getting up. Crystal sees opportunity and goes for the Crystalling!::

::Choko quickly goes for the ropes, and gets there before long. Crystal, a bit fustrated, brings Choko up and gut kicks her. She runs to the ropes, and ducks a clothesline attempt from Choko. Another whip from the rope, and Choko, out of now where, hits the Kawii!::

1!

2!

Kickout!

::Crystal barely kicks out after the Kawii. Choko goes for the DDT now and hits.::

1!

2!

Kickout!

::Another kickout by Crystal. Crystal goes on one knee trying to regain her composure, while Choko runs to the ropes. Crystal sees this and spears her out of nowhere! She picks her up, and does a tiger powerbomb.::

1!

2!

Kickout!

::Crystal picks Choko up and gets a DDT in of her own. Choko drops straight one her head. Crystal hits the lionsault. But instead of going for the pin, she goes to the second rope. She goes for the Diamond in the Rough! And hits it!::

1!

2!

3!!!!!!

Crystal wins!

Cole: “What a great match! Choko was so close to beating her and gave her a hell of a fight!”

::Crystal picks Choko up and shakes her hand, and the crowd roars in approval!::

COACH: Crystal's grabbed the mic, MC!

MC: Insert sexual double entendre here!

COACH: You moron! You don't say that out loud!

MC: Whatever, man! Talk to the....

COACH: Let's listen to Crystal!

CRYSTAL: Man, that felt great just to be back, especially winning in my return. Now, there's been some guy for the past few weeks who's been sending me these sweet notes and such. He said he'd be here....where is he?

(A man in a heart costume, without a face hole, comes dancing down the ramp. We all assume that's who's been writing the notes. But, as the camera focuses on the heart guy, we hear a "THWACK!" in the ring. We change camera angles to reveal Sly Summers, wearing a powder-blue polyester suit with a Bayside Tigers tie and holding a chair, standing over an unconscious Crystal. He pulls a mic out of his back pocket.)

SLY: Honey, like, I'm totally home! (Sly hits her in the back with the chair as the heart guy squeezes into the ring) You see....wait, you can't see; you're out cold! Ha ha...(silence)....hey, I thought that was funny! Anyway, as you might know, between you (pointing at Crystal) causing me to say bad things that might mess up my totally awesome marriage....Michelle, I still love you, even though you moved the kids and yourself into that apartment we have in New York....to that skank...what's her name?

(The person inside the heart suit slips his arm inside, and cuts a face hole with something for himself, to reveal himself to be Josh Matthews, flunky to the stars, with nearly his entire head covered in bandages from Candie's attack on Sunday.)

JM: Donut? Reese's Cup? It's some sugar-infested thing....

SLY: Yeah, something like that, son. Anyway, last week, I tried to help out my associates in Totally Endorsed (pulls business card out of his breast pocket), and that poor representation of surgical augmentation jumps on me like I'm freakin' Dustin Diamond in a Speedo! Then, at the P-to-the-P-to-the-V, she smashed my buddy Josh's face here (Josh holds his face in pain). Between those incidents, and The Max shutting down since none of these creeps here wanted in my Max Invitational, I've had to take a short leave of absence. But, then I remembered that I hatched this scheme...(Crystal tries to get up, Sly tries to punt her face off)....shut up, Fake American Gladiator-Named-Like-One.....nevermind! Not even the leader of our sort-of street gang, but not really, winning the big belt is making me forget about this, man! I hatched my scheme, and I needed to come back to complete my goal. So, Crystal, sweetie, consider this "Part 1" of the multi-show episode that is me beating that tight, round, vivacious.....(Josh nudges Sly)...I mean, totally beating you up! Next week, I'll show you all Totally Endorsed's NEW plan to get the 18-34 male demographic advertisers to buy into our show....and it involves you, little girl! Josh, do the dirty work!

(As Sly leaves, Josh pulls out a case of lipstick and writes "Boys Rule, Girls Drool" on Crystal's stomach.)

MC: My....I can't believe this. Not only does this jerk have the audacity to mess with this young lady's feelings, he had the guts to sneak up behind Crystal, and mutilate her with a chair!

COACH: Usually we joke around about how unbelieveable messed-up Sly and Josh are in the head, but I can't find the humor whatsoever in this....wait, we're getting word from the back that Commissoner Moysey is working frantically with his staff to get a contract drawn up for next week where....get this, Crystal will face Sly Summers, one-on-one, in that very ring!

MC: Wow! This punk's gonna get what he deserves!

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We return to the back and the Totally Endorsed locker room, where Calvin Szechstein sits, his World title belt over his shoulder. Colvid is standing near a locker, fiddling around with his tights, while Sly “The Sly” Summers is sitting on a bench next to Josh Matthews. Calvin turns to him with a grin.

CALVIN

Good to see you in here, Sly.

SLY

It’s totally cool to be here, man.

CALVIN

Listen… you and I both know why you’re here. You are the man that can get me the 12-18 male demographic, man. Do you know how sick they are of wrestling? All they want to see is females, man, they want to ogle and stuff. That’s why blow-up doll and Playboy sales are going UP… while viewership for wrestling programs is going DOWN.

SLY

I totally know, man, and next week, when I face Crystal, the viewers will be turning us on like Topanga does to Cory Matthews!

CALVIN

God, I loved that show… anyway, right. You get on that, man… if you can increase viewership in the 12-18 male demographic, I can probably get some huge cash for cross-promotion… and you know what that means.

Sly nods.

CALVIN

Look, I’ve gotta go warm up for Axel tonight… you, my good man, you just sit tight. Because money talks, and our wallets are going to sound like a teenage girl’s lunch table.

Calvin grins as he exits.

COLE

Sly’s apparently a full member of Totally Endorsed now, and Calvin has big plans for him!

CUE: "Deceptacon" by Le Tigre

-The fans erupt in a chorus of boos as Ragdoll quickly steps out from behind the curtain, holding the hand of Melanie. Ragdoll ignores the fans jeers as he slides into the ring. Melanie slowly climbs up the steps as Ragdoll demands a mic. He gets it.

RAGDOLL

Cut the music...

-The music stops as Ragdoll paces around the ring. Melanie looks at him with an almost frightened look. Ragdoll slowly looks up at the fans, who are now chanting...

FANS

"RAG-DOLL SUCKS! RAG-DOLL SUCKS!"

-Ragdoll shakes his head as he slowly raises the mic to his lips.

RAGDOLL

...at AngleSlam...something very odd happened...

COLE

God damn right something odd happened!

COACH

This has been messing with my head ever since the moment it happened!

-Ragdoll looks at the entranceway for a second before pacing again. Melanie sighs slightly as he leans against the ropes, facing the crowd.

RAGDOLL

...and quite frankly, it bugs me...it bugs the hell out of me...

COACH

Me too...

RAGDOLL

...SO...this is what I'm going to do...I am going to get to the bottom of this problem right NOW...so Josie? Get your ass out here RIGHT NOW!

-The fans erupt as Melanie shakes her head softly. Ragdoll turns to the entranceway and glares at it before...

CUE: "I love Rock n' Roll" by Joan Jett

-The fans cheers grow louder as Josie, who is dressed in full punk garb, walks out from behind the curtain. Her ripped black shirt reads "K-MONEY" on it, which could show that she's evil now. Who knows?

COACH

Wow...she looks DAMN hot...

COLE

If ONLY I liked women...dammit...I mean...

COACH

...Dude...did you just come out?

COLE

...No...I meant PUNK women...

COACH

Mike, it's ok if you are, man...don't worry about it...

COLE

No! I'm not!

COACH

It's ok, dude...don't worry about it...

-The men in the audience erupt as Josie straddles the middle rope as she climbs into the ring.

COACH

...I'll talk to you about this later, Mike...it's ok.

COLE

But I'm NOT!

-Josie stares at Ragdoll as the music slowly fades off. The fans sit in an anxious silence, waiting to see what happens. Josie's eyes start to well up as Ragdoll opens his arms, motioning for a hug...Josie slowly walks forward...and collapses into Ragdoll's arms! The fans boo as Melanie chuckles slightly, hardly being able to believe it. Ragdoll slowly releases the hug and hands Josie the microphone.

COLE

Oh, I can't wait to hear this...

JOSIE

...I have a confession to make...

-The fans cut Josie off with a "SLUT!" chant, which causes Melanie to smile slightly. Ragdoll shakes his head at the fans, then motions for Josie to continue.

JOSIE

...and my confession is this: Ragdoll?

-Ragdoll nods slightly.

JOSIE

...I'm in love with you...

-The fans gasp before their boos rock the arena. Ragdoll smiles wide as Josie hangs her head.

COLE

You have GOT to be kidding me...

JOSIE

All those times...all those times that I ran out during your matches...it wasn't to hurt you...it was just an excuse to get close to you...ever since your brother...Ken..."K-Money"...

-The fans erupt with applause and cheers. A sign reading "COME BACK K-MONEY" is shown.

JOSIE

ever since he stopped talking to me...ever since he stopped touching me...ever since he ABANDONED ME...

COLE

He's in a coma! What does she expect?!

COACH

She's gone crazy, Mike...

JOSIE

...ever since then, I have hated you for taking him away from me...I hated you for ruining my life...but that hate...that hate turned to love, Austin...I realized that you love me too...when you beat Mad Matt and Axel...I saw in your eyes that you were doing that for me...that you were trying to protect me from those monsters...Mad Matt...he turned his back on me! Just like Ken did! You, Austin...YOU never turned your back on me...YOU always wanted me to be around...

COLE

She is stark raving MAD!

JOSIE

That is why, Austin...I did what I did...I broke Mad Matt's skull...because that is what YOU would do...YOU inspire me, Austin! You, just like a guardian angel, protect me...You're my Guardian Angel...and for that, I am forever in your debt...

-Josie slowly drops the mic and moves towards the smiling Ragdoll. She quickly wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. Melanie sighs and shakes her head as Josie kisses Ragdoll's cheek and moves over to his right side. Ragdoll slowly picks up the mic and looks at Josie.

RAGDOLL

Josie...I...

CUE: "Higher" by Creed

COLE

It's Mad Matt!

-In unison, the three people in the ring turn to look at the Entrance way...the fans erupt...AS MAD MATT SLIDES UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE BEHIND RAGDOLL!

COLE

He came in through the crowd!

COACH

He gets his revenge!

-Mad Matt quickly grabs Ragdoll in a reverse DDT position!...SHADOW OF MADNESS!! Ragdoll clutches the back of his head and flops around the ring as Mad Matt grabs the X Title and holds it above his head, getting a huge pop from the crowd! Melanie drops quickly and grabs Ragdoll by the arm, pulling him towards the edge of the ring. Josie slides back into the ring quickly, a chair now in her hand!

COLE

Josie slid out of the ring just as Ragdoll got hit with the Shadow of Madness!

-Mad Matt turns quickly...WHAM! The chair hits his head hard...but Mad Matt quickly looks back up at Josie! The chair had little effect! Josie drops the chair, her eyes filled with terror!

COLE

GET HER!

-Josie screams as Mad Matt grabs her by the throat and smiles...WHAM! Mad Matt quickly lets go of Josie and clutches the side of his head, courtesy of a Melanie chair-shot! Josie quickly retreats towards Ragdoll, who is getting to his knees. Mad Matt turns quickly to Melanie...who delivers a boot to the gut of Mad Matt! Melanie grabs him by the head in a Diamond Cutter position!

COLE

Natural Born Killer coming up!

-Melanie leaps forward, but Mad Matt slips out of the hold!...and gets Melanie in a reverse DDT Position!...WHAM! Melanie goes completely lifeless as Ragdoll slowly gets to his feet.

COLE

SHADOW OF MADNESS ON MELANIE!

COACH

Ragdoll's standing!

-Mad Matt plays to the crowd as Ragdoll stalks behind him like a tiger...Matt slowly turns...Ragdoll runs forward...WHAM! Running Enziguri!~

COLE

DECEPTACON! DECEPTACON! DECEPTACON!

-Mad Matt crumbles to the mat as Ragdoll picks up the mic. The fans boos are deafening as Ragdoll stands over Matt.

RAGDOLL

You son-of-a-bitch! You want me?! You'll get me! Dirty Deeds! It's going to be The King of New School, RAGDOLL...versus Mad Matt...

-Melanie is slowly getting to her feet...

RAGDOLL

...in a STAIRWAY TO HELL MATCH!

COLE

WHAT?!

-The fans erupt as Melanie stands slowly, clutching the back of her head. Ragdoll quickly drops the mic as "Deceptacon" hits the PA system.

COLE

DIRTY DEEDS! RAGDOLL! MAD MATT! X TITLE ON THE LINE! STAIRWAY TO HELL!

COACH

I smell a Bloodbath!

COLE

JOSIE IS ON THE KING OF NEW SCHOOL'S CAMPUS! JOSIE IS WITH RAGDOLL! FANS! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

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(We go backstage to see Parka, PK, and Eddy sitting in their locker room watching TV. The camera pans around to show them watching Lucha Libre tapes.)

PARKA

I love this stuff. They crack me up.

EDDY

I wish I could understand what they’re saying though.

PARKA

I just watch for the action.

(Suddenly someone knocks on the door)

PARKA

Come in.

(The door opens and Parka jumps up with a look of anger on his face as the camera pans around to show Colvid and Sly walk in.)

PARKA

What are you two doing here?

COLVID

Relax; we’re not here to cause trouble. (Colvid looks at the TV) Mexican jumping beans huh? Not my style. Anyways we’ve come here to ask you something.

PK

We don’t have time for your stupid questions. Now get out.

COLVID

Come on you’ll have time when you hear what I have to say. We saw you on IZ standing up to Calvin and we realized that you’ve got guts. We want to offer you a spot in the new Totally Endorsed. Sponsors are returning and things are looking better than ever.

PARKA

You’re offering us a spot?

COLVID

Not just any spot.

EDDY

Your dog Spot?

PK

Your liver spot?

COLVID

Stop that! You know what I mean!

PARKA

If you want the Tag Titles so bad why don’t you ask for a shot instead of trying to recruit the champs into your little group? Are you afraid we'll put you through another glass table?

COLVID

I’m not afraid of you. You want to play it that way? You guys just watch your back.

SLY

These guys are total losers. Let’s go.

(Colvid and Sly leave as The Dream Machines look at each other and shrug their shoulders.)

COLE

Totally Endorsed seemingly can’t get any of the recruiting luck!

COACH

That’s because these guys wouldn’t know good business if it bit them on the ass!

COLE

Folks, stick with us – coming up next, Axel v. Calvin Szechstein! Who will emerge victorious? Stay tuned!

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'Ecstacy Of Gold' by Hugo Montenegro plays as a video package starts up...

Narrator: He stands alone as he always did...

::Clips of Caboose fighting various people on his own::

Narrator: This time however he is different...

::Clips of Caboose psychotically attacking anyone he wants::

Narrator: Truly all that was ever good in him has gone...

::Clips of Caboose cheating to win matches::

Narrator: He has become what he hated most in the world...

::Clips of BPP cheating, overlayed with clips of Caboose chaeting the exact same way::

Narrator: His Nemesis defeated...

::Blood streaming, he picks Stephen up, and then promptly slams him down through and into the steel chair setup….EMERALD FUSION!

1!

2!

3!

Caboose stands over a fallen Stephen Joseph, and looks to the crowd, and he's met with an exceptionally large mixed reaction!::

Narrator: He is Dangerous...

::Caboose battering Tim Moysey and Damian Gonzales with his Cricket Bat::

Narrator: He is Alone...

::Clips of the fans booing the hell out of Caboose::

Narrator: Is he finally the REAL Caboose?...

::Fade to Black::

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COLE

Apparently we lied. Interesting video package on Caboose… where does he go from here?

COACH

To his television set! Because Axel v. Calvin Szechstein is now!

RING ANNOUNCER

The following contest is a non-title bout scheduled for ONE fall!

COLE

You know… we’re not that funny.

COACH

No, you’re not that funny.

COLE

No, you!

COACH

No, silly, you!

Cole and Coach continue to bicker as “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys kicks up, and the crowd simultaneously gets to their feet, strobes going off like mad as the crowd roars for Axel as he walks calmly through the crowd! The crowd erupts as Axel coldly steps over the barrier, sliding into the ring and staring up at the ramp, waiting for his opponent…

“Three-two-one, I’M THE BOMB!”

The crowd now stands up simultaneously, booing like mad as “I’m The Bomb” by the Electric Six kicks up and Calvin Szechstein stands atop the entrance ramp, the OAOAST Heavyweight title over his left shoulder and tonight wearing a white-and-ice-blue FUBU jersey! The fans boo like mad as Szechstein pauses at the bottom of the ramp to take off his jersey, revealing a maroon-and-gold singlet. He slides into the ring, and into the punches and kicks of Axel as the referee rings the bell!

COLE

Axel wasting no time in attacking Calvin Szechstein!

COACH

That’s blatantly unfair, Ice Cole! Axel should be disqualified!

Axel grabs Calvin, lifting the young leader of Totally Endorsed to his feet. Axel whips Calvin into the ropes, allowing Calvin to hit them and come charging back into a snap big boot from Axel! The crowd pops for the huge move as Calvin drops like a sack of bricks, and Axel, sensing a chance for a quick win, makes the cover!

ONE!

TW – NO! Calvin gets the shoulder up, and Axel lifts him to his feet.

COLE

The more experienced Calvin escaping the cover, but he’s definitely on the defensive in this match!

COACH

He’s trying to lull Axel into a false sense of security, Cole, so that he can take over and dominate!

Axel grabs Calvin once more by the arm, whipping Szechstein into the ropes, but as Axel looks for the Lou Thesz Press Calvin slides underneath him! Thinking quickly, Calvin gets to his feet behind Axel, grabbing the bigger man by the head and pulling him back down with an Edge-O-Matic! Calvin reaches up, grabbing the leg to bridge through!

ONE!

TWO!

TH – NO! Axel kicks out, and Calvin gets to his feet, waiting for Axel to get up under his own power.

COLE

The champ surprising Axel there, and now he seemingly has the advantage!

COACH

Calvin needs to capitalize! Axel could get the upper hand at any minute!

Axel stands up shakily… and Calvin dances forward, catching him with a stiff superkick to the jaw!

*CRACK!* “OOOOOOH!”

COLE AND COACH

YO~!

The crowd’s oohing reflects Axel’s reaction, as he hits the mat hard. Quickly, Calvin jumps on top, looking for the pin…

ONE!

TWO!

THRE – NO! Axel barely gets the shoulder up before the three!

COLE

Axel showing tremendous resiliency, barely escaping that superkick, but how much longer can he keep being resilient?

COACH

Not much, Michael! That’s exactly what Calvin’s banking on!

Calvin gets to his feet, looking to the top rope and grinning. He goes over to the turnbuckle, climbing it quickly and looking out at Axel. He stands on the top rope, grinning like mad as he calls out to the crowd.

CALVIN

FREDDY VERSUS JASON, PLAYING IN A THEATER NEAR YOU!

The crowd lashes out at Calvin in boos as he leaps off the top rope, his body outstretched, but he brings his legs and arms in, curling up into a ball! As he hits the apex of his jump, he outstretches them again, his body waiting to crash into Axel…

But he moves!

COLE

AXEL AVOIDS THE FREDDY V. JASON FROG SPLASH!

The crowd erupts as Calvin grabs his ribs in pain, and Axel, standing in the turnbuckle, tries to catch his breath. As he does, he gets down on the mat, rolling Szechstein onto his back and making the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO! Calvin barely gets the shoulder up at the last split second, and Axel, a bit upset, gets up, getting in the ref’s face and telling him that it was an obvious three count!

COLE

I don’t know if this is the wisest move by Axel – Calvin is down for now, but he could get up at any second!

COACH

That would be a good thing! Get up, Calvin!

Axel continues to yell at the referee as Calvin crawls up behind him, reaching a fist between his legs and swinging it UP!

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

Axel doubles over, grabbing his nuts in pain as Calvin grins from the mat, wrapping his arm around Axel’s inside leg and bringing him back with a rollup! The ref gets down, making the count!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO! Axel rolls backwards out of the pinning predicament, landing on his feet! Calvin, a bit stunned, gets to his feet in confusion… and Axel charges forward, using his last bit of energy to hit Calvin with a monster lariat! Both men hit the mat, breathing heavily and trying to get back in the game as the ref begins to count them out!

ONE!

TWO!

COLE

Axel looks to have the advantage!

THREE!

COACH

How does he have the advantage? He and Calvin are both lying on the mat!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

But at eight Axel reaches his feet, grabbing Szechstein by the hair and lifting him to his feet. Grinning like the Devil himself, Axel grabs Calvin between the legs and around the neck, lifting him up into a reverse fireman’s carry!

COLE

This is it! Axel has him set up for the Axel Slam!

Axel throws Calvin’s lower body up into the air, repositioning his arm around Calvin’s neck so that he has him in position as Calvin falls down, Axel sitting out with a beautiful diamond cutter!

COLE

AXEL SLAM!

Axel makes the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

…four? Axel gets off Calvin, incredibly angry as he stands up, looking to the outside of the ring where Colvid stands, jawing with the referee! Axel gets out of the ring, yelling at the ref to get back into the ring as Sly Summers goes to the other side of the ring, grabbing the OAOAST title and sliding into the ring!

COLE

Sly Summers is in the ring, and has that OAOAST title belt!

COACH

He’s helping Calvin use the surroundings to his advantage, Cole! This is brilliance!

Sly readies the belt as Axel slides into the ring, and as Axel stands, Sly charges him…

…but Axel ducks, and the belt slams into the face of Calvin Szechstein, struggling to his feet behind Axel! The crowd erupts in cheers as Axel turns around, grabbing Summers by the khakis and throwing him out of the ring before making the cover on Calvin! The referee turns around to see Axel making the cover on Calvin, and he slides into the ring!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

*DING DING DING!*

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, at nine minutes, twenty-seven seconds, the Revolution Tournament champion, AAAAAAAAAAAXEL!

The crowd erupts as Axel stands triumphantly in the ring, the ref raising his hand in the air – but his victory party is stopped as Sly slides into the ring, this time his beltshot connecting!

*CRACK!* “OOOOOH!”

The crowd roars out in boos as Axel drops like a bad habit, and Colvid slides into the ring, joining Sly in a stompfest! Calvin, too, gets to his feet, and waves his TE mates off. He goes to the top rope, staring out at Axel before leaping off and drilling him with the FUBU 450 Splash! The crowd erupts in boos as TE stand over Axel, posing like mad…

CUE: “California Love”

The crowd goes NUTS as Parka and Peter Knight storm the ring, knocking Colvid and Sly, respectively, in the back of the head! The crowd goes nuts as Calvin turns around… right into a kick in the stomach from Knight! He lifts Calvin up in powerbomb position… and sits out, Parka attaching a neckbreaker as Calvin falls right into the Deep Sleep! The Dream Machines get up, lifting Axel up and raising his hand into the air as Calvin rolls to the outside, being supported by Sly and Colvid as we get a good shot of his face, staring daggers at Axel. Sly hands him the OAOAST title, and he clutches it close to his body, still staring at Axel like mad as we fade to black.

================================

© 2003 OAOAST Home Entertainment

================================

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