Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLTCXZbCNFUGimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world To an enormous ovation, Krista steps onto the stage, looking summery in a beaded pattern white top, and red miniskirt. Her arm is free of the sling from last year, allowing her to wave to the ends on her way down the ramp. COLE Great to have the former and rightful world champion down here. When Krista speaks everyone listens. COACH Usually because they’re all being insulted. Krista enters the ring very carefully, fearful when the course will spring up. She grabs hold of a microphone and readies herself to speak. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” KRISTA Hi, people. Or as the script implores me to say “Hi OAOAST Marks”. Is there a reason you all haven’t revolted against that horrid nickname? The French revolted when the queen offered them a delicious cake. Surely you can spare some time to guillotine Lucius Soul. Embarrassing marketing failures aside , I find myself in a condrum. The blank absent mind stares on your faces indicate that either you don’t know what that word means, or the crystal meth has taken effect. I will explain. Conundrum is a problem, I have a problem, not a drinking problem I could quit any day, god damn it, but a curse problem. “BOOOOOOO!” KRISTA Against all personal beliefs, everything I’ve learned in my years of private schooling and graduate studies, and against what I saw on that one episode of MythBusters I watched with Jade, I am cursed. Now, you might be saying to yourself “Jesus Christ she has a great rack” And you’re right, but apparently the one thing that my boobs can’t get me out of, is the one thing that may consume. I don’t know if I’ll really be sucked down to hell, if I am then perhaps they’ll be playing Adam Sandler movies on continues loop to torture me. The psychic says that is the end result of the curse. Hell. Like, I said, I’m not certain what will happen. What I do know is that since I was attacked in the parking lot, and cursed, I have lost my world title, gotten a concussion, fractured my elbow, been stung by an army of bees, gotten a mysterious illness, and had to sit through Jimmy Fallon’s late night talk show. As you can imagine I’m just a wee bit sick of it all. I have never felt so weak and so powerless. In all my life. Everyone sees me as super Krista, I can’t be stopped, nothing can slow me down. Well, this has. This has slowed me down to a crawl, I have Vietnam vets with no legs lapping me! The Krista everyone knew and loved, is slowly fading away. And perhaps that’s what’s meant by hell, looking into the mirror and seeing my old, middle aged, haggard face, saggy skin, and brittle bones staring back at me. Maybe hell is just the end of my dream. COLE It seems this “curse” has taken its toll on Krista. KRISTA And who do I owe all this lovely summer time cheer to? Why who else but my good friend and your’s, a true patriot who pees stars and shits stripes, Theodore Moneymaker. The world champion appears on screen, and earns a huge amount of jeers for doing so. COLE No surprise Theodore Moneymaker hides backstage when an enraged Krista is out here and ready to fight. MONEYMAKER Krista please, I do not deserve flattery nor do I deserve blame. As a man backed into a corner by your aggressive ways I did the only thing I could do. KRISTA You had two leatherbound warlocks commit 3rd degree assault in an empty parking lot? That was the only thing you could do?! There’s like fifty thousand other things you could do before that becomes an option! But what’s done is done. MONEYMAKER Yes it is, I remain world champion, and you, my poor but beautiful girl, remain cursed. Here is wear the generosity of myself shines bright, I have appeared on this night to offer you a dignified peace. Freedom from your curse. KRISTA See, you and I are starting to understand each other. I had the same idea. MONEYMAKER Splendid. So you will take your place at my side as my subservient and eagerly loving bride? KRISTA Not so fast, Bridezilla. My idea of how to end this curse thing is somewhere here on earth, you’re idea of how to end the curse is floating somewhere between the Death Star and Vulcan. I have a proposition I think you might be very interested in hearing. MONEYMAKER It can’t hurt to entertain your girlish fantasies, so please explain. KRISTA Apparently the only way to end this curse is through giving you my hand in marriage, and hell not freezing over shortly thereafter or to get a hold of your blood. My plan A fell through when The Love Doctors wouldn’t grant me the necessary needles and date rape drugs. Now we’re onto plan B, a first blood world title match at the whatever show is coming up, Chi something, I dunno, I’m almost forty leave me alone. What do you say, Teddy? MONEYMAKER What separates men from women, and is one of the many reasons you need me in your life, is that men think with rational and intelligent thought. KRISTA Explain Bill O’Reily. MONEYMAKER I think rationally, Krista, and I don’t see any rationale behind this match. I exist solely to gain, and I live not to lose. But here I gain nothing, and I lose everything. KRISTA Will ya let a girl finish her thought! Is that so hard to let me speak, to let me live, to let me love, to let me be free! Um….anyway, there’s plenty for you to gain, like Maxim magazine’s hottest MILF, Esquire magazine’s hottest woman and the world, and Field and Stream ultimate deer hunter….don’t ask. Clarey intrigued, Moneymaker leans forward in his chair. KRISTA What I’m saying is that you make me bleed, I do away with the whole lesbian life and I will be your wife in sickness and health, till death do us part. I’m sure that carving up your potential spouse is customary in some middle eastern country. The world champion's eyes brighten at such a wonderful opportunity. MONEYMAKER On the off chance that I lose? KRISTA For one thing the curse would be gone, for another thing I’d have that 30% of my company back, and for the third and final thing I’ll be taking back that precious world title if you don’t mind. MONEYMAKER Always the pig headed one aren’t you. Instead of just accepting my proposal of marriage, you’ll force me to win you as some sort of prize. I have to drag you kicking, screaming and bleeding into my empire? Then so be it. We will have ourselves a first blood match, and I will have myself a trophy wife. Krista smiles with satisfaction, as the audience cheers the explosive matchup. COACH Yo for real, them white folks got some fucked up mating rituals! COLE The summer keeps getting hotter with this first blood match for the OAOAST World Title and much, much more! The stakes have never been higher in a world title match! COACH Those two have a so much to worried about right now and they still have to keep their eye on Battle Bowl! Ain't no rest for them, its gonna be one war to the next. Nobody ever said being rich and famous was easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 FROM THE GOSSIP SPEWED DAILY ON THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE, THIS IS HOT HOT… HOT NEWZ~! Tony Brannigan mans the desk inside the OAOAST Hot Newzroom, a state-of-the-art technological wonderland. Plastered across the front of the desk is a neon OAOAST logo. BRANNIGAN Here with this piece of Hot News, I’m Tony Brannigan. As you know, we are now only 2 weeks away from the Chi-Town Spectacular and OAOAST officials have been hard at work finalizing match contracts for that big event, like this one:8-MAN TAG The LDC Moneygang & V.I.C.E. vs. Team Heyross & The Orange County Cobras BRANNIGAN It was just last week the feud between V.I.C.E. and the Orange County Cobras added a new chapter to their rivalry when “The Handsome Hustler” Ned Blanchard helped fellow O.C. Cobra Simon Singleton defeat Tango Bosley by shattering a cane across the back of Bosley! This in addition to Team Heyross and the LDC Moneygang being set to do battle for the One & Only World tag team championship at Angleslam makes for an explosive situation Friday night, July 31. Right now let's hear comments from both teams.OAOAST We cut to the LDC Moneygang and VICE in front of a gray backdrop. SPENCER REIGER I’m not really quite sure what I’m supposed to say. Words just don’t get through the Orange County Cobras. It’s a shame how far our public education system has fallen. I went to private schools so I’m cool, but the Cobras aren’t. They’ve got a damn graduate student coaching them and they still can’t figure out when they’re beat. Me, Colin, and Lorelei keep dishing out threats, and they keep ignoring them, and then we got to dish out a beatings. I don’t want to be that violent guy, neither does Collin, we just want to play some PS3 and chill. But The Cobras just keep on coming up, no matter how hard we knock them down. I guess we’ll just have to down ‘em permenantley LORELEI Its very unfortunate that Ned and Simon continue to stand as obstacles in the way of my Moneygang’s greatness. But they always did have hard heads. I guess they’ve now recruited equally idiotic partners to help their futile quest for revenge. But, what they don’t realize is that we’ve already moved onto big and brighter things. My two handsome guys Lorelei strokes the cheeks of both CMJ and Reiger. LORELEI Have the tag team titles all locked up. CPA I been fighting someone or something all my life, and there ain’t never been nobody I wanna beat on as much as Team Heyross and The Orange County Cobras. DETECTIVE BOSLEY Let me hit you all up with a story that happened to me last week. Just another Saturday for me son, counting the takings from my security company then spending a couple of hours jacking this ripped out muscle bound frame up. Driving back from the gym, got my 18 hanging out the side, letting people know who the fuck is crusing past in the Porsche when i get a call from Little T. Tells me to come by the park, crews there, couples of 10s, beer n shit is flowing, only thing missin is my strong assed self. Get there, only problem is there aren’t any spaces in the car park . So I just go and smash some bitches cheap ass civic window with a brick, take off the brake n rolled that sh1t outta the space into the street and let get it by real motherfuckin car!. Couple pussies saw me but didnt dare say shit, especially since im rockin a sleeveless shirt, lookin like Arnold from Terminator days. Meet up with the crew in the park. Grab myself some beer outta the cooler and put some ice on my biceps. straight away girls are all over me trying to touch me an shit, telling me I’m the biggest guy they've ever seen. Wanna see how strong I am so I lift one up n start pressing her over my head, aint even breaking a sweat, shes enjoying it, gigglin n sh1t. The other one starts asking how many pull ups I can do. im like "shit, i bust out 200 for fun". About now my crews all jealous n shit seein them all over me. Little T starts talking sh1t about doing 500 pull-ups, reckons he do em all day, so i tell him to man the fuck up and show us what hes got., I flex up n Little T grabs holda my arm, starts doing pull ups off of my bicep, girls are going wild seeing this kinda sh1t. T's repping em out, done about 120 by now and hes struggling like a bitch. Im like "shit son, that all you got", girls start laughing at his weak assed attempt as he slips and falls on the ground. Im about ready to wreck Little T upside the head for being such a bitch when some football comes flyin in n hits one of the girls in the face. She starts crying n shit, her sniffling is annoying the fuck outta me when some guy starts hollering from across the park, want their football back. Im thinking "hell no, somebodys about to get their shit mangled" About now guy starts talking shit cause i still got his ball so I launch it like a polish missile 200 yards right into that b1tches face. Even from here i see blood n sh1t go flying. Caved his fucking face in. His friends see him hit the ground n come running over. Staright away I smash one guy upside the head with a full beer can. He went down like a bitch, probably brain damaged or sum shit cause he starts droolin and shaking. Crews going to work on the other guys, pussies aint putting up a fight, dont even have to try, knocking em out all over there fucking place. I pick one guy up and throw him 20ft into some bushes, heard some loud snap, musta broke his neck cause he didn’t come out. Mangled those pussies the shit up, left about a dozen guys on that field. Like some kinda warzone. Everyday shit to me though, man. CMJ How the fahck am I supposed ta follow that?OAOAST A small box with Team Heyross and the O.C. Cobras swoops in and then fills the screen. MOLLY The Moneygang and Vice have made a decision that borders onto insanity. They have accepted a match with two three time world champions. Surely that can not be seen as logical! Its almost career suicide. I wish we had a way to stage an intervention, but I’m afraid that time is past. What’s done is done. NED What’s done is Spencer, Collin, Bosley, and Allen the minute those punks step in that ring. First one who enters gets smoked! I don’t mean with a gun I mean with three time tag team champions coming from all four corners to beat them down to the ground. We are not playing games, here! We’re in real life! In real life people like VICE and The MoneyGang don’t last long! SIMON Spencer and Collin remind me a bit of me and Ned when we first came here. We entered with a flood of other tag teams, Chicks Over Dicks, The Rockers, The Love Doctors,, MARV and MEL, and we thought we were the best. It was amazing, but we thought no one could touch us. We wouldn’t train, and we wouldn’t work out because we thought we could get be on talent. But you need heart to win. That’s something we all have in abundance. Heart. But I don’t see any in our opponents, that’s why they don’t have a prayer. MOSS VICE, and Moneygang,, I sense some cowardice whenever you’re near. Simon’s right, you don’t have the heart or the guts that it takes to beat us. You’re a bunch of yellow tailed chickens, and I know for a fact you have cheap tricks up your sleeve. BENJAMIN You should leave those at home, boys. There’s nothing that you can do to stop us. BRANNIGAN I wouldn’t want to be the official assigned to that match. Good luck to the man who does. That’ll do it for me. But stick around because more great action is still to come right here on HeldDOWN~! TONIGHT BATTLE BOWL CONTINUES TONIGHT!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 We return from break with HeldDOWN's announcers situated at Sofa Central COLE Right now, it's time for another Battlebowl match, so let's go to Josh and Maggie at the tumbler! Cut to the tumbler, where Maggie spins as Josh speaks. JOSH Thank you Michael, and we're ready for Maggie to draw our first name! Maggie pulls the egg out, and Josh opens it up and reads the name. JOSH One-half of the tag team champions, QUENTIN BENJAMIN! Benjamin hops up and gives high-fives to Charlie Moss and others as he leaves the locker room. JOSH Let's see who his partner is... Josh opens the paper. JOSH From the Heavenly Rockers, SYNTH ABDUL-JABBAR! Synth stands up and puts his hands on his hips in disbelief, getting a pat on the back from Logan as he makes his way to the ring. COACH Wow! COLE Two tremendous tag team wrestlers, but can they get along? JOSH And their opponents will be, first...the United States champion, DENZEL SPENCER! COLE What a hot streak this man is on, can he continue it by advancing to Battlebowl? JOSH Uh-oh...Denzel's partner...the other half of the tag champs, CHARLIE MOSS! COACH What? COLE I can't believe that! Moss slowly heads to the ring, scratching his head. Cut to a wide shot, where Synth is just coming through the curtains, as Benjamin is entering the ring. Benjamin sees Synth, then points at him and confers with the referee. Denzel comes through the curtains next, getting a big pop, and as he gets to the midway point of the aisle, Charlie Moss comes through, prompting another discussion between Benjamin and the referee. COLE And Quentin Benjamin not pleased with this turn of events, needless to say, but that's the luck of the draw! Moss steps through the ropes and shakes hands with Denzel, then with Benjamin as well after some words of encouragement. COLE And in all due respect to Synth, I think Charlie Moss got the better draw for a partner here... COACH Why is that? COLE Because there's a lot of bad feelings between the Heavenly Rockers and Team Heyross over those tag team titles! Denzel is a guy that Charlie Moss can trust out there, and also his style is very similar to that of Quentin Benjamin, Moss's regular partner! COACH Well, I think if Quentin keeps an open mind out there, Synth will be a great help to him! COLE You may be right, only time will tell! *DING DING DING* COLE And it looks like the tag champs will start the match from the apron! Denzel and Synth get face-to-face in mid-ring, with Synth talking a lot of trash, then shoving Denzel. Denzel shoves back, then the two tie up. Denzel grabs a side headlock, but Synth backs him into the ropes, and shoves him across. Synth drops down, but when he gets back up, Denzel takes him down with a shouldercheck! Synth scoots into a corner, favoring his shoulder. COLE Big shoulder from Denzel right there, and Synth backing off! Synth tells a group of fans to shut up, which gets the crowd on his case, before he ties up with Denzel again. This time, Denzel takes him down with an armdrag! Synth slowly gets to his feet and complains to the referee about tight-pulling, which again annoys the crowd. COLE Synth complaining that Denzel pulled his tights, but that was not evident to anyone else in this arena! COACH I saw it, Synth! I got your back! The two tie up again, and Synth goes behind and grabs a hammerlock. Denzel reverses, then drops down and schoolboys Synth... 1... 2... Kickout! Tie-up again, and this time Denzel goes behind, but gets caught with an elbow to the face! Synth runs to the ropes, and takes him down with a shouldercheck, then runs to the ropes again. Denzel flips over, then leapfrogs him, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! COLE Great kick by Denzel Spencer! Synth backs into a corner, begging off as the referee holds Denzel back. COLE And at this point, it may be a good move for Synth to tag in Quentin Benjamin, but he's not looking that way! Synth gets to his feet, and circles the ring once again. Moss swipes at him from the apron when he comes around to his corner, and he backs off, then challenges him to come into the ring. Denzel asks the crowd, which roars its approval, then tags in Charlie Moss. COLE And our first tag of the match! Moss and Synth tie up, and Synth grabs a side headlock. Moss backs him into the ropes, and shoves him across. He drops down, then leapfrogs him, then drops down again, then catches him with a hiptoss! He follows with a dropkick, then clotheslines him over the top to the floor! COLE And Synth out to the floor! COACH You know, I have to agree at this point, Cole, Synth really should make a tag here! COLE Well, if he makes a tag now, that would set up the matchup I think everyone's wanting to see out of this, and that's the tag team champions facing off against one another! Synth re-enters the ring slowly, then charges after Moss, who catches him with a drop toe hold! He then grabs an armbar, and brings him to his feet, making a tag to Denzel, who climbs to the top rope, and comes off with a chop to the shoulder! COLE But some nice teamwork on this side! Denzel grabs an arm-wringer, wrenching on the arm, but Synth drives in a knee to the gut, then hammers him on the back, and takes him down with a kneelift! He then tosses him into the corner, and tags in Benjamin. COLE And finally, a tag made, and Quentin Benjamin in there! Benjamin kicks Denzel in the midsection, then whips him into the ropes, and floors him with a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin grabs an armbar, but Denzel manages to take him down to the mat, and grabs one of his own! COLE Nice counter there by Denzel! Benjamin works his way to his feet, and reverses to a drop toe hold, then grabs the armbar again. He tags Synth back in, and Synth wrings the arm, but Denzel reverses and wrings Synth's arm, then takes him down to the mat and drops a leg on it. He then bars the arm, but Synth backs him into a corner, and delivers a shot to the face, then some shoulder thrusts. Denzel gets out of the corner, but Synth maintain the advantage, kicking him in the gut. He whips him across, then drops down, and gets up, only to collide with Denzel mid-ring! COLE And I think they hit heads! Both men out in the center of the ring! The referee counts... 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! Denzel crawls over and tags Moss, at which point Synth suddenly rolls to his corner and tags Benjamin! COACH Here we go, Cole! COLE Tags made on both side, the tag team champions are the legal men! The crowd gets to their feet as Team Heyross steps into the ring, smiles on their faces. They meet in the center and shake hands, then circle the ring. They tie up, and Moss goes behind, grabbing a rear waistlock. Benjamin reverses to one of his own, then Moss counters with a drop toe hold, before moving to a side headlock. Benjamin works his way to his feet, and lifts Moss for a back suplex, but Moss hangs on and takes Benjamin back down to the mat. COLE Some nice wrestling here, which you would expect from Team Heyross! Benjamin grabs Moss in a headscissors, and Moss flips over on top of him. 1... 2... Benjamin bridges up, then turns Moss into a backslide! 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin takes down Moss with a side headlock, and Moss grabs him in a headscissors. Benjamin KIPS UP~! to escape, then he and Moss stop and soak in the cheers of the fans, before tagging out to Synth and Denzel. COLE The fans very appreciative of that action from the World tag team champions! Synth kicks Denzel in the gut, then delivers a swinging neckbreaker! He then backs into the ropes, looking for an elbowdrop, but Denzel rolls out of the way! Denzel catches Synth as he gets to his feet with a SCISSOR KICK~! Cover... 1... 2... Benjamin breaks it up! Moss comes in and taps Benjamin from behind, and gets floored with a spinkick! COACH Whoa! Benjamin turns back around in shock, and checks on Moss, who gets his feet and shoves Benjamin! COLE Uh-oh! COACH I love it, Cole! We've got dissension between the tag champs! Benjamin shoves Moss back, and the two argue as the action continues, with Synth going to the middle rope, and attempting the SKY HOOK ELBOW~!!!!!11111...but Denzel moves out of the way! Denzel then scoops the dazed Synth, and drills him with the CARRIBEAN COMPACTOR~!!!!!11111 Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And that's it! Denzel and Charlie Moss advance! BUFFERThe winners of the match...the team of CHARLIE MOSS and DENNNNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! The referee raises the hands of Denzel and Moss, and Benjamin makes up with Moss, then congratulates Spencer as well. COLE Well, a small disagreement between the tag champs, but everything smoothed over now! Benjamin raises the hands of Moss and Spencer, when suddenly, Denzel is knocked through the ropes! COLE What was that? The camera cuts back to the ring, where Benjamin is slugging away on Felix Strutter! COLE That's Felix Strutter in there, just knocked Denzel to the floor! Ken Pantera joins the fray, flooring Charlie Moss with a clothesline! COLE And there's Ken Pantera! What is going on here? COACH If it's what I think it is, I like it! Pantera hammers Benjamin from behind, then holds him for Strutter, who delivers right hands. COLE Strutter and Pantera, the former Team Canada, have ambushed Team Heyross and Denzel Spencer! Pantera backs Benjamin into a corner, then shoots him out hard, right into Strutter, who catches him with a running sleeperhold drop on the way by! COACH WHOA~! Benjamin rolls over to his stomach, as Pantera knocks Denzel off the apron, then picks up Moss on his shoulders, standing in the corner with his back to the buckles, as Strutter climbs to the top, and hooks him, driving him all the way to the mat with a DDT~! COLE And Strutter with a DDT on Moss, who was sitting on Pantera's shoulders! Strutter and Pantera gloat, showered with boos, as Tom Sawyer plays over the speakers. COACH It looks like we've just seen a reunion here, Cole! COLE The team formerly known as Team Canada, "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera, have apparently joined forces once again, and have sent a message to the World tag team champions! How will they fit- COACH YO~! Cole is cutoff and Coach is surprised by the arrival of Zack Malibu, who has stormed ringside to a big pop! COLE Zack Malibu...we didn't see him last week due to a suspension for his actions after he and Todd Cortez lost their tag team contest here two weeks ago, and he does NOT look happy. COACH Does he ever? Guys more miserable than a PMS party. COLE What does that even mean!? Malibu, looking irate, hops in the ring with the mic, and the fans can tell he's about to let the last few months of frustration out. MALIBU You know what, I'm not going to build it up. I'm not going to repeat what's gone on, and I'm not going to speak more than once about this. I have HAD IT with the way that Anglesault and OAOAST corporate have treated me the last few months. I have had my character challenged and disputed, I have been slandered against, I have been outright accused of not "fitting the mold" of this company. Anglesault, you're back there and you're listening, so I am now telling you...that's right, not asking, TELLING YOU, to get your ass out here right now! Malibu paces the ring, looking like he's about to burst, and that's when "Medal" hits. The fans, most siding with Zack, greet Anglesault with boos, which he acts shocked to hear as he makes his way down to the ring. Tension is high as Anglesault slowly circles the ring, but he grabs a mic and climbs up, pausing on the apron to see his close friend, visibly unhappy with him, staring him down. Anglesault enters, and the music dies, but the tension does not. ANGLESAULT You need to calm yourself, Zack. MALIBU Calm myself? Don't you dare stand there and start doing your spin doctor routine, trying to paint this as all my fault. I don't know what your agenda is, 'Sault, but I've had it with you. Every week, I want nothing more than to give my all for this company, and what are you doing? You're playing with my livelihood. You tell me you want a killer instinct, but then when I show you that there are still some pieces of it, you find ways to suspend me or block me from appearing on TV? Now, this is it, Anglesault. You are not going to play God to me. If you have issues with me, speak on them now, or so help me God I will tear them out of you! Anglesault just stares at Zack, looking unimpressed with Malibu's threats. ANGLESAULT Zack, you just don't get it. Maybe instead of being a god damn CRYBABY, maybe you should take up for yourself. You come out here and bitch and moan and point your finger at ME, and get these people to follow your lead because you're the "hero", when the fact is that YOU, Zack Malibu, are just a fraud! You say that you have pieces of killer instinct left? Why, because you threw a little tantrum after a match? THAT'S why I suspended you for a week, Zack...to get that taste out of everyone's mouth, to get them to forget what an asshole you made yourself look like! Zack moves closer, looking ready to strike, but Anglesault is not flinching. ANGLESAULT You don't get it, Zack. You flip out because you lose matches. Tell me, Zack, why did you lose that match? MALIBU Because of Tommy G. and Todd... ANGLESAULT NO! NO! See, right there, you're wrong! You lost that match because of YOURSELF, Zack! You are so thickheaded! So what, Todd Cortez got attacked by Tommy G. Why did YOU lose that match, Zack? You know why...because you care SO MUCH about everyone else that you have let yourself go! You try to be the hero, the father, the boyfriend, the best friend, the go-to guy...you want to play the role so that everyone likes you and the truth is that you are not happy with yourself, and THAT is why you bitch about it, THAT is why you have tantrums, and THAT is why I have lost respect for you. Because YOU don't respect YOURSELF. It looks like a bell has been rung in Malibu's head, and he looks down at the canvas. ANGLESAULT You're so busy trying to save everyone else, Zack, that you don't realize I am trying to save YOU! I am the only real friend you have, Zack. Leon Rodez would cut your throat if it was legal. You and Bo can act buddy buddy all you want, but you guys haven't truly seen eye to eye. Todd Cortez...the guy went after YOUR DAUGHTER, Zack! Did you forget that? I know that Todd's "not the same guy and he's made amends and he's proved himself" and blah blah blah and it's a CROCK OF SHIT, Zack! YOU are not the same guy anymore. Why don't you stop trying to please everyone, trying to please the fans, your family, your supposed friends...worry about Zack Malibu! Can you honestly tell me that you are satisfied with the man you see in the mirror? Zack ponders this, and starts to turn his back to Anglesault, who spins him around. ANGLESAULT I asked you a question, Zack. Don't make yourself out to be the victim here anymore. Take a god damn stand! Stop blaming everyone else for the fact that you get sick when you look at yourself! Stop blaming everyone else for the letdowns that have come about BECAUSE OF YOU! Yes, you let your family down before, you've let your friends down before...IT'S WHAT HUMAN BEINGS DO. Stop pretending you're something you're not, Zack. You know, deep down, that you're not the hero anymore. You haven't been for a very, very long time. There's something that eats away at you every day, but you quell it, you push it down to the furthest depth and try to bury it because you know that once it comes out, it will overtake you because it is WHO YOU ARE. Stop lying to these people, Zack, stop... CRACK~! Zack NAILS Anglesault with a right hand, dropping him on his ass. Anglesault looks up in disbelief, then he smirks as he checks his mouth for blood. ANGLESAULT See, I knew you were in there. MALIBU Let's get one thing straight. No one's pretending right now. Everything here is as you see it. You're trying to mold me, corrupt me, or maybe just break my spirit. It's not going to happen. I'm stronger than that. Anglesault, getting up, responds. ANGLESAULT You're not strong, Zack. Besides, what type of person walks through life without anyone or anything? I know that things changed once you became a family man, but even your family doesn't want you to grow weak. You've become too forgiving, you've allowed the world to take you for granted. These people want a hero and they look to you, Zack. They think you're a saint, as if you could cure their cancers or pay their debts. They don't care about Zack Malibu's family, they only care about themselves. You need to stop doing for others, and START DOING FOR ZACK MALIBU. That's all I have to say, Zack. For once, for your sake, BE SELFISH. Do what you want, take what you want, say what you want, throw caution to the wind and be your own man! Do you really want everyone's blood on your hands? Malibu perks up, as if Anglesault has driven his point home. He says nothing as he drops his mic...then he grabs Anglesault by the collar and backs him into the corner! The crowd roars as Anglesault panics, but when Zack releases his grip, Anglesault becomes calm. MALIBU If I were you, I'd be careful what I was wishing for. With those ominous words, Malibu turns to leave, and Anglesault smirks, feeling as though he may have finally gotten through. Malibu heads up the ramp and doesn't bother to acknowledge even one fan, disappearing into the back as we fade out.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Backstage in The Enterprise dressing room, Lorelei sits with Morgan and Queen Esther. Unlike the giddy Queen, and the bored Morgan, Lorelei’s face beats red with annoyance. LORELEI Collin, hurry up! MORGAN Maybe he doesn’t want to do it. That’s why he’s taking so long. He hopes you’ll quit. Molly used to do that when she was 10. LORELEI Its not a matter of want, Morgan. Its that I told him to do it. If I told him I wanted him to dye his hair purple he needs to seek out grape kool aid. If I told him I wanted him to get hit by a car, he needs to make sure his insurance papers are in order. Collin needs guidance just like you need guidance. Thankfully you act in a way that’s appreciative of my hard work. MORGAN Hmmm….there was that vegetable pizza back New York I really wish I wouldn’t have let you talk me into. But, you’re my friend, so I listen. LORELEI I’m Collin’s boss, he better listen. QUEEN ESTHER (calling to Collin) Where is the prince? Where is our prince charming? LORELEI Collin, hurry up, even Queen Esther is getting annoyed. COLLIN Ain’t no way I’m comin’ ahht lookin like I do. QUEEN ESTHER Oh I bet he’ll be dashing, don’t you think! He’ll be a true prince. MORGAN Collin, have you ever had 1000 watts of electricity pumped inside your body? That threat pushes the reluctant Collin out the door. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my the prince arrives, and he is just gorgeous! CMJ I look like a fakkin retahd. Shit! QUEEN ESTHER A prince? Yes! Charming? Not quite. MORGAN Take what you can get, even if he rides on a motor bike and not a white horse. LORELEI Collin you went from this LORELEI To this! LORELEI How could you be mad at that? CMJ I look like a fakkin fhaagit! Where's my faux hawk? I look like- MORGAN Spencer? CMJ Yeah! My boys bahk home would kick the crap outta me, if I came round looking this. I feel like a pussy. QUEEN ESTHER Oh my! My virgin ears are being violated! LORELEI You look like a Harvard Graduate should. A man with a degree from Harvard like you doesn’t need to look like a Hell’s Angel or a degenerate lowlife roach. Now you look the part of an esteemed member of The Enterprise! CMJ No one can see my tats! They were wicked bad ass. LORELEI I let you wear your stupid shirt didn’t I? I compromised. CMJ I’m gonna go get a bheer, if anyone talks shit to me I’m kickin their teeth in. As Collin opens the door to leave his partner Spencer Reiger enters into the room. SPENCER Woah! Lookin damn good, man, damn good! CMJTONIGHT BATTLE BOWL CONTINUES TONIGHTCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 “Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, accompanied by fellow Citizen Soldier TIM CASH… from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 265 pounds.,, "THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAAAARRRRRROOOOOOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEEELLLLLSSSSS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BW and Cash show love to their fans on the way down the aisle, but it’s all business once they reach the ring. COLE What an opportunity this evening for Baron Windels competing for the World Heavyweight Title. And quite frankly, I’m shocked Theodore Moneymaker has decided to be a fighting champion. I never would have expected that out of him. Green and yellow lights swirl across the area as Theodore Moneymaker is carried to the ring on his golden throne to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses. Along with him is his spiritual guide Abdullah Nerdly. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Vero Beach, Floridia, and weighing 236 pounds... he is the Chief Executive Officer of THE ENTERPRISE and the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker rises from his throne and enters the ring with Abdullah, who produces a microphone. ABDULLAH Brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, on behalf of your World Champion I regret to inform you there will be NO title defense here tonight. CROWD COLE I knew it was too good to be true. A man like Theodore Moneymaker clings to power. The words fighting champion wouldn’t be in his vocabulary. COACH Kind of like “out on a date with a woman” wouldn’t be in yours. ABDULLAH You see, this open contract was booked when Krista Isadora Duncan was still World Champion, a dark time in OAOAST history. However, that cloud has been lifted and the angels once again sing now that Brother Moneymaker is your World Champion. What that means is, after successfully defended his championship last week, Brother Moneymaker is under no obligation to compete in a title match for another 23 days. But let not your heart be troubled. Brother Moneymaker is all for helping a person in need, like Baron Windels. And what Brother Baron needs is… Tired of the talking Baron clotheslines Abdullah and Moneymaker! COACH How dare Baron Windels lay his filthy paws on two of the most revered figures in the world today, Cole. * DINGDINGDING * Grabbed by his collar Abdullah is TOSSED over the top rope! His back turned BW catches a knee right in the lower lumbar region. Trapped like a rat in the corner, BW is subjected to a series of knife-edge chops, but he reverses a whip and decks Moneymaker with a Cowboy Bebop elbow square between the eyes! The cover. ONE! TW-- KICKOUT! BW fires Moneymaker into the ropes and raises THE BIG BOOT…but Abdullah pulls Moneymaker out to safety. COLE Hey, come on now. Just because Abdullah Nerdly is Theodore Moneymaker’s spiritual guide doesn’t mean he can stay ringside and interfere. COACH Abdullah didn’t interfere, you idiot. He pulled a man to safety. Need I remind you that Abdullah is a man of peace? COLE A piece of work is what he is alright. BW reaches through the ropes as Moneymaker and Abdullah share a brotherly hug and gives them a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" BW suplexes Moneymaker back inside and covers him. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Moneymaker focuses may be distracted by sudden announcement of a first blood contest between he and Krista. BW positions Moneymaker for THE SUPERPLEX, but the Billion Dollar Heir rakes the eyes and shoves him to the mat. Looking to deliver a double axe handle smash, Moneymaker gets caught on the way down with a shot to the gut, but quickly recovers when BW attempts a bulldog, using their momentum to CROTCH the Lone Star Gunslinger on the middle turnbuckle! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Men the world over are feeling Baron’s pain right now. COACH Except you, Cole, because you have a vagina! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Moneymaker puts the boots to BW, and then dumps him outside to catch a breather. COLE You better keep a close eye on Abdullah Nerdly, ref. COACH Quit racially profiling, Cole. Abby’s minding his own business. For a short time he does. Once the referee turns his back Abdullah rushes over to get in a few licks of his own! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE You call that minding your own business? More like sticking your nose in other people’s business I say. Abdullah scrams when Tim Cash goes after him. Luckily for the self-proclaimed Inspirational Leader, Cash is restrained by the referee as he returns to Moneymaker’s corner to give praises. COLE What a snake in the grass he is. COACH And what a dumb ass you are. Moneymaker rolls BW back in and drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS~! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moneymaker scoops BW for a slam, but gets wrapped up in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Again Moneymaker losing his focus with Krista on the mind. Moneymaker pops to his feet and nails BW with a BILLION $ KNEELIFT! COACH Losing focus huh? The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- KICKOUT! Moneymaker stalks BW, then tries to lock him in THE BANK VAULT, but BW charges the corner and drops down, causing Moneymaker to collide face-first into the buckle! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker staggers back only to be whipped across and smacked in the face by BW’s BUTT! COLE Bite My Shiny Metal Ass, Theodore Moneymaker! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Company arrives in the form of THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND as BW climbs up top. COLE What are they doing here? COACH Getting a front row seat. And how can you blame them? This has been one helluva match. BW spots the Last Kings and wipes them out with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! COLE Scottish Scott and Danny Boy just got clobbered. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moneymaker kicks the middle rope as BW re-enters the ring, then spikes him with THE SPEAR OF LONGINUS~!!! COLE The move that won him the title! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION… "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE For the second week in a row, Theodore Moneymaker capitalizes on a mistake. Like Ned Blanchard last week, Baron Windels let his guard down and paid in the end. But will Krista do the same in their first blood match? Abdullah shoves the referee aside and awards the OAOAST Championship to Theodore Moneymaker, raising his hand in victory as Cash tends to Baron. Cash then begins to chastise Moneymaker for unsportsmanlike conduct kicking the ropes when BW was entering. Surprisingly Moneymaker agrees, only because the Last Kings of Scotland jump on Cash! MONEYMAKER COLE That’s uncalled for, damnit! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd ERUPTS as KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN storms the ring with a STEEL CHAIR. COACH It’s Krista! COLE And she’s still mad as hell! There’s no doubt about what she’s after though… Theodore Moneymaker’s blood! Moneymaker and Abdullah flee the scene, but that doesn’t stop Krista from kicking ass. She bashes the Last Kings with the chair, then climbs on the middle rope and points to Moneymaker. KRISTA Suddenly the rope SNAPS and Krista falls hard on her ass. The opening fanfare from "Jesus Christ Superstar" hits as Moneymaker, arms raised to the heavens, laughs while flashing "the money fingers" sign. KRISTA COLE That first blood match is going to be hell!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Cut to Sofa Central. COLE Folks, we have another match for the Chi-Town Spectacular to announce to you, an absolute blockbuster from the office of the OAOAST President Josie Baker. Coach is shaking his head in disbelief as Cole reads from his notes. COLE The match will be between Alfdogg and the leader of the Deadly Alliance, Reject! And here's the big whammy in this thing: The loser of this match, will be forced to retire! COACH Well Cole, no matter what the result here, the OAOAST will suffer a big loss in just two weeks! Alf, of course, we all know of his accomplishments, he's held many titles, won a lot of big matches, and Reject, you got a main event-caliber guy in the prime of his career! COLE Given the magnitude of this match, there are some big conditions, as well! A decision can only be made by pinfall or submission, there is no time limit, and the big one here: OAOAST President Josie Baker will be viewing this match from a special skybox, and if anyone interferes in this match, Josie Baker has announced that she will fire them right on the spot! COACH So no matter what, we will have a decisive winner between Alfdogg and Reject! Some big decisions by the President! COLE Absolutely, a match that will no doubt send shockwaves throughout the OAOAST in just two weeks, the career of either Alfdogg or Reject will come to an end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Backstage we find Jade Rodez-Duncan being talked through the finer points of minimising lens flare by film student Molly Nerdly. Mind clearly elsewhere, and let's face it who can blame here, Jade stares off into the distance. The stare is interrupted by the sound of bounding footsteps and the appearance of an excited young Maya Duncan-Blanchard. MAYA Hi! JADE Maya? What are you doing here? MAYA You mean Mom hasn't told you? JADE (suspicious) Told me what? MAYA Well. She said she's sick of having me around the house 24/7, talking about curses and voodoo spells and taking her to mediums and trying to cheer her up and all that stuff. So, she told me that when she was my age, grandma made her get a summer job. What she neglected to mention was the legendary way she quit and the community service she was forced to be bribed out of as a result. But by the time Alix told me that it was too late. Point is, she's sick of having me under her feet. Which is why I'm here. To answer your question. Jade looks ever suspicious. JADE Mom got you a job? Here? MAYA Yup. Since she can never go back to where she worked, this was the easiest option. Turns out you don't need talent to work here, it's not what you know, it's who you know! No offence. Jade grumbles to herself. MOLLY Oh golly! Your first real job... MAYA Real? Eh. MOLLY You know, if you're not troubled by my asking, I'm supposed to be putting together a video project for my media class and I've been looking for some more subjects around here. Maybe I can follow you around for a day? MAYA All my media commitments go through Mom and my team of agents, so ya gotta check with them. But that shouldn't be a problem. Hiding bitterness about her 'team of agents', Jade waves to get Maya's attention. JADE What's the job, exactly? MAYA Oh, that's the thing. Mom's kinda stuck between getting rid of me and worrying obsessively about me. So, the only way to keep her happy was to be your apprentice. That way you're looking after me. And I get to hang out all day with Tyler and Shayne! Oh, I couldn't think of a better job that doesn't involve Zac Efron and bodyhair removal. JADE Let me get this straight... you're my 'apprentice'? You can't be. You're too young to wrestle. And I hardly ever manage anymore. MAYA Well, you can change that real quick. Just answer one of those messages Shayne keeps leaving on the answer machine. "We need help, we suck without you, your Mom took our dignity and our manhood, we need you back". Remember? That way, I can learn from you when you're managing them and then when you're wrestling, I can be your manager! It looks super easy. JADE (annoyed) You'd be surprised. MAYA Phff. Stand, wave, look pretty, get crowd cheering. It's basically like being a cheerleader. Or more like a mascot only without the stupid costume. I think I can handle that. Just, when Mom asks, pretend you're teaching me some sort of worthwhile lesson about how to climb onto a ring apron and dance around until a referee looks at you, or something, so she doesn't change her mind and give me a harder job instead. MOLLY I find engaging in small talk keeps referees occupied longer. MAYA Ooh, okay. (to Jade) See, like that. JADE You know, I really think I should speak to Mom about this... MAYA Yeah yeah. Listen, I'm gonna go find Shayne and Tyler, tell them the good news! See ya soon! The excitable Maya jogs off and Jade sighs to herself, clearly not too excited about the thought of this apprentiship. JADE Sisters... MOLLY Tell me about it. COLE The Nerdlies, The Duncans, The Rodezs, The Moneymaker family in Theodore and Tony Brannigan, the OAOAST is just good old fashioned family business!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 We return from break and in the ring, we find Cucaracha Internacional just making their entrance. Black and Faqu make their own, single-minded entrance into the ring, while Blonde sits on the middle rope and holds it open for Landon, waiting for him to finish showing off to camera. Landon spins into the ring and raises his non-matching, non-OAOAST belt in the air. Blonde joins in. And... well, Blonde joins in. COLE Official, unofficial, who knows? All we know is Cucaracha Internacional are claiming to be OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions and they are defending those titles here tonight. MADDIX Finally. Finally, the waiting is over. And finally, Cucaracha Internacional get to show ourselves to the world. The greatest collection of talent in the OAOAST today. The toughest, hardest hitting man in the OAOAST today, Nathaniel Black. The most intimidating monster in the OAOAST, Faqu. The most stylish showman in the OAOAST, James Blonde. And the all-round best athlete in the entire world, me. Great individually. Greater together. The strongest unit in the OAOAST. The OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH That makes it official in my book. COLE Why, because Landon said so? COACH Exactly.*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the challengers this evening. Total combined weight, seven hundred and eighty two pounds... from Chicago, Illinois, DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY, THE LOVE DOCTORS... and from sunny Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, MORACCA and MARIACHI, LOS DIABLOS DE FEUGO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Docs take the attention from Los Diablos in their stride as they strip off their lab coats and head to the ring. Having two gay masked luchadors dressed in hot pink lusting over you kinda hurts your appeal with the ladies, but luckily The Love Doctors' appeal was so strong in the first place, they're still in demand. COACH So, this is the team that's supposed to face the strongest unit in the OAOAST? Hah! COLE You're very easily influenced, aren't you Coach? Landon says something and you're repeating it for weeks. Like a parrot. Blonde and Black look pretty confident as they look at their challengers. But Landon calls his team together and calls on them to focus, before giving them a team talk. COLE Do you think Landon sometimes takes this leader role a little too seriously? COLE A strong unit needs a strong leader. COLE Polly want a cracker? *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Dr. Anderson is on duty, starting out with James Blonde. Eager to impress, Blonde tries to intimidate Anderson before they lock up, which doesn't work so well. What does work is an armdrag. So much so that Blonde celebrates, soaking in Landon's applause. COLE James Blonde is like an attention starved toddler. Blonde is brimming with confidence and on the next lock-up, he scores with another armdrag. Pointing to Landon, Blonde dedicates the move to him. Landon points back, but behind Blonde to warn him, Dr. Anderson waiting and dishing out an armdrag of his own! A second! And a third! He goes for a fourth, but Blonde pulls away and rolls out of the ring, complaining to Landon that his hair was pulled. COLE If you don't play fair, I'll tell on you to my daddy! Give me a break! COACH He had his hair pulled Michael. He's got every right to complain. COLE So it's not just Landon's word you take as gospel? Calmed down, Blonde rolls back into the ring and challenges Dr. Max to fisticuffs. But Max blocks a right hand and dishes out one of his own. Anderson rocks Blonde back against the ropes with rights and sends him for the ride, up and over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Quick tag is made and as Blonde gets up, Dr. Pigley soars from the top with a high crossbody... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away Blonde makes the tag to Nathaniel Black and scurries to the floor. Black gives his partner a funny look as he steps into the ring and locks up with Pigley. Into a hammerlock, down goes Pigley, taken down by the Brit. Black grabs a headlock as Pigley fights to his feet and shoots his opponent off. Black comes back with a shoulder knockdown, hitting the ropes again to deliver a second one. A third is avoided by a Pigley leapfrog though. Both men come off the ropes, Pigley getting a blind tag to Anderson before he baseball slides through the legs of Black. Coming to a stop, the confused Brit takes an inverted atomic drop from Pigley, held for Anderson who hits the running dropkick! COLE Lovematic Grampa, VINTAGE Love Doctors! Cover by Anderson... 1... 2... No! Anderson attacks Black with some stinging shots and throws a spinning backfist. Black shakes it off though and immediately drops Dr. Anderson with a European uppercut. COACH And that's why you don't trade shots with Nat Black. Tag made and in comes Landon, to a chorus of boos. COLE First time we've seen Landon in action in many months. And he's just as popular as ever! Held open, Anderson takes a hard kick to the chest from Landon. Landon follows up with some forearms, before throwing Anderson into the Cucaracha corner. A swipe at Pigley draws him in and Maddix keeps the referee expertly distracted while Black, Blonde and Faqu all club at Anderson from the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There you go, leading by example, Landon Maddix! COLE Yeah, the example being, cheat to win. COACH Keyword there being 'win'. Once the referee has gained control, Landon runs at Anderson in the corner and nails a leaping forearm smash. He rolls Anderson down onto the mat and strikes with a kick to the back before covering... 1... 2... No! Landon tags in Black and whips Anderson to the ropes. A drop down by Landon leaves Anderson unable to avoid a jumping high knee from Black, right under the chin! Landon offers up a high-five and the Brit eventually gives in to the crass US ways of celebrating before pinning Anderson down... 1... 2... No! COACH Even you have to admit, Cucaracha Internacional are working great as a team. Better even than with Cortez, now they've got Landon pulling the strings. COLE They're a great team, no doubt. They've held the 6-Man Tag Team Titles for about eight months. It's just a pity they're not a six man team anymore now Landon's decided he wants to play again. Another tag is made, this time to Blonde, very much at Blonde's request. Black scoops and slams Anderson near the corner as instructed, allowing Blonde to come off the middle rope with the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop! A rare success, Blonde looks to Landon, who urges him to cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Los Diablos rub themselves nervously as Dr. Anderson is in a bad way. Strutting around, Blonde feels confident and piefaces the Doc a couple of times. COLE No need for that. Blonde boots Anderson in the gut and jars him with a Sitout Jawbreaker. Rolling back to his feet, The Trendsetter flicks his hair, lets out a celebratory "WHOO!" and hits the ropes. But Anderson runs right past him. And as Blonde slows to a stop, Anderson nails him with a big LARIAT! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Blonde spent a little too much time prancing and preening and it cost him there! Both men crawl to their corners and it's tags on both sides. Landon in for the champions and Dr. Pigley for the challengers. Landon rushes in and runs right into a drop toehold. Quickly back up, he drops down as Pigley comes off the ropes and tries for a dropkick, but Pigley hangs on and Landon hits hard! Pigley floats on top with a jacknife pin... 1... 2... No! Landon bridges up and quickly takes Pigley up onto his shoulders! COLE GTS! But Dr. Pigley throws elbows, fighting off the anesthetic move. And shifting down a little, Pigley suddenly snaps backwards, bringing Landon down sharply with a CRUCIFIX BOMB!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Oh, that was close! Staggering up, Landon is caught and set up for the Flatliner. But with a quick knee to the ribs, Landon is able to reverse on Pigley and hit the flatliner variation of his own, the Crash Landon '05!! Pigley flails away on impact, luckily near his corner, where Moracca and Mariachi tag themselves in. COACH Hey, they can't both tag in. COLE Just like you can't have four six-man tag team champions? Landon makes the mistake Blonde did by taking to long to follow up and before he knows it, he's surrounded. With Mariachi making kissy faces, Landon tries to turn away, but runs into Moracca... and gets trapped between a HOMIES HUG!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! Moracca and Mariachi fondle away with Landon aghast in the middle! Blonde sees his mentor in trouble and quickly slides in, knocking both Diablos down from behind. He then tries to comfort a shaken Landon with a hug of his own, which probably isn't the best idea and he gets pushed away. Blonde turns and tries to clothesline Moracca over the top, but gets backdropped to the floor! Meanwhile, Landon is caught with a headscissors by Mariachi! COLE And the homies are having a good time here! As Mariachi and Moracca 'celebrate' though, Landon reaches his corner and tags in Faqu. COACH Uh-oh. COLE Well, fun-time is over. Faqu, The Samoan Wrecking Ball, the not-so secret weapon is in. The big Samoan steps in, getting Los Diablos attention with a primal scream, then MOWING THROUGH THEM WITH A DOUBLE SHOULDER BLOCK!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Like two hot pink pinballs! Beating his chest, Faqu waits for somebody to get back up. Dr. Anderson comes in and attacks from behind, trying to subdue the monster. Unable to do much damage he hits the ropes, but runs back into a throat thrust from Faqu! And hurt, he falls prey to a BLACK LARIAT from Nathaniel, sending him rolling to the floor! COLE And now, Los Diablos in serious trouble! Faqu lines up Moracca... *SMACK!* ...and nails him with a Thrust Kick! Mariachi is up next and Faqu reels him in, picking him up in a fireman's carry. Signalled to wait, Faqu is then loaded up some more as Black, Blonde and Landon lift Moracca up and place him on top of Mariachi, Faqu letting out a yell before CRUSHING THEM BOTH WITH A DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" A raging Faqu stomps out his territory as the poor Mexicans are picked up, helpless to do anything about it. Blonde sets up Mariachi... and delivers ILLEGALLY BLONDE... while Black hits the BRITTANIA BOMB on Moracca, Landon in the middle counting along with the referee... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH That's why they're the 8-Man Champions! COLE That and because Landon had a spare belt lying around. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match and STILL OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions... LANDON MADDIX, NATHANIEL BLACK, JAMES BLONDE and FAQU... CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The 8-Man Titles... well, 6-Man Titles and spare SWF belt... are passed into the ring and it's Landon and Blonde leading the celebrations again on a successful defence. Black gives a defiant show of the belt to the fans while Faqu chews on his, staring at the damage done. COLE A successful 'first defence' for Cucaracha Internacional. Say what you will, but they are an impressive team, no matter what you think of Landon and the legalities of these 8-Man Titles. 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Tony149 Posted March 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 Back we go, to the drawing room, which is like any other room, except with a tumbler. JOSH Okay, Battlebowl match upcoming, let's pick our next four names Maggie. Maggie hands Josh the first ball. JOSH First up, we have... The King Of The Mardi Gras himself, RICO DE JANEIRO! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Right Round" by Flo Rida plays as Rico, having left Lucius behind with a high-five back in the locker rooms, emerges with Queen Esther in tow sprinkling fairy dust (glitter, $.59 a pot) over her man. Rico strokes the 'tache at two lovely looking ladies in the crowd as he enters the ring. JOSH And Rico's tag team partner will be... one half of the LDC Moneygang, SPENCER REIGER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Spencer leaves with a smug look on his face, patted on the back by Colin Maguire Jr. COLE Two graduates of the WORLD REKNOWNED OAOVW training facility to team together here. COACH And if you're interested in training to be a wrestler, send a cheque for $50,000 to "The Coach", PO Box... COLE Fans, please do not send The Coach any money. Ever. Boos ring out as Spencer strolls to the ring proclaiming victory. Teasing at his hair, he flicks some excess hair gel at the unlucky fan at the end of the aisle before sliding into the ring. And despite an odd look at Rico, he shakes his hand. Queen Esther tries to go through some kind of welcome ritual with her wand, but Spencer is busy cussing out fans, cruel words for her sweet ears. JOSH Okay and on team number two we have... uh-oh... well, I don't think Spencer's going to like this, it's the other half of the LDC Moneygang, COLIN MAGUIRE JUNIOR!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd cheer, not for Colin, but for Spencer flipping out in the ring. And for Colin's look of amazement backstage. COLE OH MY! The number one contenders to the Tag Team Titles are going to be pitted against each other! COACH Wait, this can't happen! This isn't right! COLE Hey, that's Battlebowl! We've seen partners against each other, teams reunited, it's the luck of the draw. And the luck of the Irish has not come to pass for CMJ. First a makeover from a teenage girl, a woman who thinks she's in a fairytale, and an egomanic uncompromising boss and now this. After a long wait, Colin comes out with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. QUEEN ESTHER My prince! COLE I'm in control, my worries are few. 'Cause I've got love like I never knew. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I got a new attitude! COACH Don't mock him in his time of suffering! Neither he or Spencer are happy and the crowd are loving it. Collin's mood continues to worsen when Spencer tries to cheer him up by complimenting his new look Back in the drawing room, the next name brings down both Josh and Maggie's mood. JOSH And joining him... former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LEON RODEZ. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" COLE Oh boy."Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. Stalking out into a sea of boos, Leon Rodez scowls. At the crowd, at the match, at life basically. And the fact his ribs are still taped up under his ring gear. Leon slowly walks to the ring scowling at the crowd as Rico, Spencer and Colin all look on."I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon climbs up the steps and looks at the three in the ring with the same contempt he does everyone else. COLE Well here's the real wildcard of Battlebowl. Much as Colin didn't want to be drawn against Spencer, nobody wanted to be drawn as Leon Rodez's partner. How are you possibly going to get along with someone as bitter and uncaring as him? COACH I don't know. But I do know, Leon wants the World Title back. And getting through this match gets him a step closer. COLE And Leon, last week, perpatrator of that assault on Bohemoth. We know that Bohemoth is not here tonight, but we've got an announcement coming up later on in the show regarding what happened, so stay tuned for that. Leon stands on the apron and Colin approaches him. The Irishman tries to strike up some conversation but Leon just stares back at him blankly, as if he weren't there. Appreciating that Leon at least said nothing about his new look, Colin eventually gives up on him and starts off. *DINGDINGDING* Colin turns around and finds Spencer starting on the other side, which gets the crowd interested. COLE Well we're not wasting any time. Battle of the Moneygang! Colin and Spencer square off. It starts off friendly, but soon they're exchanging words. And whatever the words are, they end up escalating into a shoving match. Chest to chest, the partners square up, the crowd just waiting for them to go at it... so of course, they suddenly break out in a laugh at fooling them. Not giving the crowd what they want, The Moneygang indignantly refuse to lock up like the ref is telling them. And they both tag out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Leaving the ring, Colin and Spencer stand on the outside and decide to watch the match from ringside, together! Leon just stares at them from the apron as Rico gets a little more heated about it. COLE Now wait a minute, this is a tag team match. But it looks like, Spencer and Colin are opting out and they're going to let Rico and Leon decide it for them? COACH Might as well. One of them's going to the battle royal, one's not. It would be unfair to make them play a part in choosing. Maybe Spencer will share some hair care and grooming tips with Collin, now that he's being required to bathe at least once a week. Leon slowly gets into the ring and Rico realises Spencer's not coming back to his corner. And The Moneygang watch on, chatting between themselves as Leon and Rico square off. Rico goes to lock-up, but Leon evades behind and catches Rico turning around with a Rolling Sobat to the gut! Forearms knock Rico back against the ropes, setting up an irish whip. Rodez lunges at Rico with a back elbow knockdown, looking out at the Moneygang who applaud mockingly as he picks Rico up again. COLE So for now at least, it's going to be Leon versus Rico and Leon you'd expect to have the advantage, being a former World Champion. But the question is how those ribs are holding up. Leon delivers a vertical suplex and covers... 1... 2... No! Kicking away at Rico, Leon is caught with a shot to the ribs and quickly digs his fingers into Rico's eyes to subdue him. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Catching Rico with two good right hands Leon shakes off the fingers and hits the ropes. A clothesline is ducked, so Leon carries off into the far ropes. And Rico catches him with a knee right to the injured ribs, flipping Leon up and over!! COLE And that will definately test the ribs! Crawling away into a corner it seems that shot has rocked The Fallen Idol and he holds his hands up, trying to beg Rico off. The Brazilian stays right on Leon, dropping a knee into the ribs in the corner. And a second time. He then picks Rodez up, whipping him into the opposite corner and watching as Rodez crumbles to his knees. Queen Esther claps happily as Leon again holds his hands up. Still no mercy from Rico though, whipping Leon back to the corner he came from, dropping him again. COLE Leon hitting those turnbuckles hard and he's in trouble, with his 'tag team partner' about six feet away with his hands on his hips. Rico strokes down the infamous porn 'stache and goes after Leon again. On his knees, Leon knows there's no chance of a reprieve. But he begs anyway. And lulls Rico in, grabbing him by the trunks and pulling him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pouncing on Rico, Leon clubs away with wild shots to the back of the head until the referee pulls him away demanding a clean break. Leon just stares through him, lining Rico up in the corner and slamming his knee into the Brazilian's kidneys. Turning Rico around, Leon follows up, testing his ribs with an Exploder Suplex on Rico. Which leaves him with some pain, but Rico with more, setting up a cover... 1... 2... No! Interested observers, Spencer and Colin nod their heads. COLE Now nonchalant can these two get about this? COACH This is relevant to their interests. Still favouring his ribs Leon waits for Rico to get up instead of picking him up. A boot sets Rico up, snapmared over and kicked in the back. Hitting the ropes in front, Leon follows up with a passing clothesline on the seated Brazilian. COLE A Sliding Lariat, that's a new one. Cover by Leon... 1... 2... No! Leon gets back up favouring his ribs as Spencer and Colin mock the injury behind his back. Leading Rico up by the hair, Leon puts him face-first into the top turnbuckle. Irish whip sends Rico into the opposite corner and Leon sets himself, getting in a deep breath before he launches with the SUPERMAN SPEAR in the corner! COLE Colin starting to look a little happier than Spencer on the outside. He could use some cheering up. I've never seen a man get so emotional about a faux hawk. Off the ropes Leon aims at Rico staggering out of the corner, with a more traditional clothesline. Rico ducks though and catches Leon with a boot to the gut. Ribs hurt, Leon doubles up. Rico looks to scoop him up for a slam but Rodez floats up and over, landing on his feet. Spinning Rico around, Leon goes for a slam... but his ribs hamper him, allowing Rico a similar escape route. Rico kicks Leon in the gut again, before gutwrenching him up and over the shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker! COLE Rico's got Leon up in The Body Lock! And we might see a submission here, which would be a major upset and not the first of this Battlebowl! But Leon manages to squirm out of the hold pretty quickly. Leon backs into a corner, waiting for Rico to get up. When he does, The Fallen Idol charges... but gets caught with a SPINEBUSTER!! COACH PARTYING LIKE IT'S 2005 AGAIN OH YEAH! Hook of the leg by Rico... 1... 2... Kickout! Stroking the porn 'stache, Rico senses the end with Rodez hurt. He loads Leon up again, trying to trap him back into The Body Lock. Leon slips out the back straight away this time... *SMACK!* ...and catches Rico with a flash superkick! Rico staggers, until Leon hits a clothesline and covers... 1... 2... NO! COLE Only two. And still the LDC Moneygang just stand and watch this unfold. Leon glares at Rico as he climbs back up, a dangerous look on his face. Spinning around, Leon aims with a Rolling Sobat, but Rico manages to deflect it and connect with a big right hand. Leon goes staggering backwards and Rico backs into the ropes. A double leg trip cuts Rico off though, worse to come as Leon turns him over into the LIONTAMER!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Got it! Locked in centre of the ring, I don't think Rico's got any escape here. As Leon places the knee in the back, it does look dire for Rico... ...until Spencer Reiger suddenly bundles Leon to the mat! COLE Wait a minute! With a sudden interest in the match Spencer goes to put the boots to Leon, which is when CMJ spins him around and asks him what the hell he's doing! And this time, the Moneygang's little téte a téte isn't any kind of play-acting. The crowd sense it and buzz, about to see Colin and Spencer come to blows. Or so they think. Meanwhile, Leon is back up. And he charges from behind... only for Spencer to sidestep, causing him to knock COLIN down. COACH Wrong man! Leon looks down and shows zero concern for Colin, as he turns back around, into a boot from Spencer. The Prodigy from NYC quickly hooks up the arms, looking to chalk one on on the REIGER COUNTE... NO! Leon backdrops out of it! COLE I guess the LDC Moneygang had more selfish intentions than they were letting on. Spencer wants to be in that Battlebowl battle royal, even if it's at Colin's expense, make no mistake. And I'm sure the same goes the other way around. COACH Yeah, but, it's nothing to come to blows over... I hope. Colin will mess up his new haircut! The fresh Reiger is right back up and charging. Leon manages to sidestep and Spencer bounces off the ropes, causing a COLLISION OF HEADS between the two!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, right in the SKULL with the SKULL, SKULL to SKULL!! As Spencer flops against the bottom rope, Leon is scooped right back up by Rico, who strokes at the 'stache signalling for the end! Rico picks Leon up and prepares to take him on a MOUSTACHE RIDE... ...but before he can deliver, Colin reaches up and grabs Leon's foot, pulling him free! COLE How about that, Colin Maguire Jr. finally acting like a tag team partner tonight. Rico goes for a clothesline on CMJ, but gets caught and dumped with a HARDVARDPLEX! Dazed, Rico then makes the mistake of sitting on all fours, allowing Colin to drop down and lock in the Anaconda Choke! COLE Boston Strangler, he's got it locked in! Shaking off the cobwebs, Spencer makes a move. Whether he would have broken his regular partner's submission we won't know, as before he can get to it, Spencer is tripped up by Leon and placed in the LIONTAMER! COLE And dueling submissions now! Colin tightens up on the Strangler and suddenly catches a glimpse of Spencer in trouble, leaving him in two minds as to what to do... but the decision is made for him, as Rico taps out! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE An embarrassing night for Colin has a happy ending! Both Colin and Leon quickly release their submissions, Colin to go help Spencer and Leon to get out of harm's way. He stares up at his partner for tonight with a cold look and no hint of thanks before stalking off to the back. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match advancing in the 2009 Battlebowl... COLIN MAGUIRE JR. and LEON RODEZ!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Leon Rodez and Colin Maguire Jr. going to Battlebowl, after maybe the worst show of tag team continuity from two teams we'll see in this competition. Leon clearly just happy to get out of here with the win. Colin helps Spencer up and ever the sore loser, Spencer is unhappy that Colin didn't come to his rescue. Colin insists that he didn't see what was going on, only to smirk when Spencer's out of eyeshot. They're as bad as each other! COLE Well, we promised you an announcement regarding Leon Rodez and Bohemoth after what happened last week, a sneak attack backstage by Leon on The Meterosexual Monster.COLE ...hang on, we're hearing that there's some sort of a commotion backstage. Let's get a camera back there. When we do, we find Bohemoth, laid out and screaming in pain with a heavy production equipment trunk trapped on his right leg. As he reaches back and tries to push it off of his leg, Leon Rodez runs across and boots him in the side of the head! A group of referees and suited officials rush into the scene and try to keep Leon back from doing more damage. BOHEMOTH AH! I'M GONNA GET YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! Leon calmly walks past Bohemoth, picking up a WRENCH that 'just happened' to be lying beside him. And without a hint of a smile Leon walks off, while the various rescuers try to move the equipment trunk off of Bohemoth. COLE I don't believe this... and I can't believe I'm still saying that about Leon Rodez! What in the hell is he thinking!? It takes at least four of the officials to tip the trunk over, freeing Bohemoth's leg. He lays writhing in agony, as someone calls for some EMTs to be fetched. Footage plays of Bohemoth being wheeled away to an ambulance in the aftermath of the attack. COLE Well as you can see, Bohemoth had to be taken to a local medical facility to be checked out. Luckily, no lasting damage done to the left leg, but clearly a lot of pain inflicted. And we've been informed that the big announcement is, a match just signed by OAOAST officials for next week here on this show. Bohemoth will be medically fit to compete next week in Lincoln, Nebraska. One on one, a rematch from The Great Angle Bash, Leon Rodez versus Bohemoth. But this time, it will be a STRETCHER MATCH. COACH Wow. COLE That promises to be physical to say the least. And what a warm-up match that'll be, with both men having qualified for the Battlebowl Battle Royal the very next week in Chicago at the Chi-Town Spectacular. COACH They may have qualified, but one of them might not even make it to Chicago at this rate! COLE A big match, next week here on HeldDOWN~!FADE OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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