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OAOAST TMW: A comedy/erotic e-fed

OAOAST HeldDOWN 5/21/09


Chanel #99

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blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbIBjvp0QK0

blah blah blah

COLE
blah blah blah! blah blah?

COACH
blah blah, blah? blah blah; blah blah blah! blah blah blah.

COLE
blah blah blah? BLAH BLAH BLAH!

COACH
 :huh:

We open as Zack Malibu stares at the canvas as he paces the ring, as if he's got to search for the right words before speaking.

MALIBU
You know, this belt that I carry here means everything to me. It signifies that I've made something of myself. It shows that I am the very best in this business, and whether you are someone who loves Zack Malibu or curses the ground that I walk on, you can agree that my determination, my work ethic, and my ability cannot be denied. For the past seven years, I have put my heart and soul and every ounce of my being into this company as a wrestler, as an ambassador, and as its Franchise. I have sacrificed my well being, friendships, relationships, and time with my family to do what I do best, and that is step into this ring and prove to everyone why I am the best wrestler in the world today!

The fans applaud, as Zack expresses his opinions.

MALIBU
I love this business. I have a beautiful daughter that I don't get to see nearly as much as I'd like because of my devotion to this business. I have a beautiful woman, waiting for the day that we can be married and go on a honeymoon and just relax, rather than have to worry about what town I have to appear in next. I have put EVERYTHING ASIDE for this business, and now there are certain people, FRIENDS, that seem to think that I don't have what it takes anymore? That Zack Malibu has lost his edge? That maybe, JUST MAYBE, in their minds I don't deserve this championship?

The fans boo that thought, as Zack holds the belt in front of his face, staring at his reflection in the center plate.

Suddenly, another country is heard from, as the voice of ANGLESAULT is heard!

ANGLESAULT
OK, hold on a second, champ.

Anglesault, weiding a mic and coming down the ramp, is greeted with a warm response, as Zack stands tall.

ANGLESAULT
You think I don't know what you're getting at? I know you, Zack. I know you more than even you yourself might think. And I know how that mind of yours works. This little speech, this has to do with what happened at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular, right?

MALIBU
You know it does.

ANGLESAULT
Look, we've talked about this, and now I know that you come out here and you pour your heart out to the fans for closure, or whatever, but listen...I did what needed to be done that night. You were in a title match, with a guy who prides himself on being the biggest asshole in that locker room, who was doing whatever it took...chairs, interference, whatever, to try and get that belt from you. I helped you, Zack. I had your back, just like I have for the past six years.

MALIBU
I didn't ask you to have my back.

ANGLESAULT
You're right, you didn't...but if I didn't have your back, Zack, you might not even BE HERE anymore. Because it was me who had your back two years ago when you PULLED A GUN on a man in this very ring!

Zack steps back, almost shocked that Anglesault would throw that in his face.

ANGLESAULT
Don't get me wrong, Zack. You have done tremendous work for this company, and I have come to respect you for it. There is no doubt that you are the Franchise of this company. Still though, you have this...need, this constant craving to please everyone. You're living in a black and white world, Zack. You're living in a world of heroes and villains and you desperately want to be the hero, the saint...the man who doesn't cross the line, and look where it gets you. It gets you taken advantage of. Nearly your entire OAOAST career has been devoted to false friends and relationships, people walking out on you or turning their back on you simply because THEY CAN. Because you let it. Because whatever killer instinct you once had is GONE. You're riding on that white horse and you've ridden it for so long that you fear even the slightest shift towards the other side. You certainly fight back when pushed, and you certainly take things very personal, but in my eyes, its almost as if you're trying to make up for something, Zack. That you aren't happy with yourself, so you present this ideal human being to the world, and that makes YOU fake.

Some of the crowd boo, taking that as an insult.

ANGLESAULT
I know that you picked up the ball and ran with it in my absence, and I'm grateful for everything you've done, but I am sick of watching you be the victim. It's bad enough that you had Mister Dick trying to get noticed on a memorial show, but now your own tag team partner, the best friend you've had in this company other than me finally decides to get serious...and its at your expense. He does it when you've got one title match on your mind, and that took your focus off Dick, but now that you made it out of that one alive, now what? Now Leon Rodez is waiting for you, Zack, and as a former friend, he knows EXACTLY how to push your buttons. That's a scary thought, Zack. That Leon Rodez is in your head and you can't even tell, because instead of unleashing the hell and fury that he deserves for betraying you, you're worried about how your real friends make you look when they even the odds!

MALIBU
It's not about evening the odds, Anglesault. It's about doing right by the locker room.

ANGLESAULT
The locker room? The same locker room that houses former porn stars, more Nerdly's than I can count, a friend of yours who has fought you more times than most of your enemies have, and the people who tried a hostile takeover on my company? You want to do right by THEM?

MALIBU
You held this belt before. You know what I mean.

ANGLESAULT
When I held that belt, I did whatever I needed to do to make sure I walked away from the ring with it every night, and YOU know that better than anyone.

MALIBU
That's not me, Anglesault

ANGLESAULT
Yes it is, Zack.

MALIBU
No, it's...

"Can we PLEASE get their mics cut?"

The fans start booing, as LEON RODEZ strolls out onto the stage, mic in hand.

RODEZ
Gentlemen, this little quarrel makes for a great soap opera, but there are more important matters at hand. Zackary, you need to stop worrying about being the hero that you're not, and embrace your inner villain. That's all that you are, Zack. You are the most selfish cutthroat in this business, but you paint yourself as the victim, you look for sympathy from these easily misled sheep to compensate from the fact that you are a broken man. You were broken a long time ago, by those who came before me. People like Evenflow, and Superstar, even lovely little Alison, all made you the broken, tortured soul that you are. You're so messed up in the head that you actually believe that you can do no wrong...that it was always someone else. People claim that our friendship was a lie because of my actions, and the road I took? I say the hell with them, because all I did was open my eyes and there it was, plain as day...an egomaniac who stole the championship from his BEST FRIEND for his own petty personal validation! YOU are responsible for the path of broken hearts and damaged souls left in your wake, Zack. It has ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT. You create these monsters, trying to mask the fact that you are a monster yourself. On one hand, I have to thank you, Zack. I've come to embrace my newfound confidence. It's quite invigorating, knowing that I'm so much better than you. I haven't had any trouble sleeping at night after I left you laying, because it was a long time coming. It was SUCH A RELEASE, and now...now all the pieces are falling into place. The world is getting a bit too real for you, Zack. Anglesault's wrong...it's not that you're starting to doubt yourself...it's that people are starting to see the real you. A man, clinging to those last flickers of stardom, clutching the World Title like a security blanket when the REAL CHAMPION, LEON RODEZ, gets painted as public enemy number one? You may care what these people think about you, but I DO NOT. I am at peace with myself, Zack. For the first time in a LONG TIME, I'm able to do what I want. I don't have to worry about fitting in, or meeting some pathetic, non-existent standard that someone like you thrusts upon the OAOAST. Leon Rodez is his own man, making his own choices. I took our friendship out back and put a bullet in it because it was dying from day one! Remember when I first got here, Zack, and you tried to intimidate me? You tried to break me down right away, and you know the real reason for that, Zack. You were AFRAID. You could sense greatness, greatness that overpowered everything that you knew, and you needed to quell it, for fear that, God Forbid, someone shows that they're better than you! You think you have everyone wrapped around your finger, but the fact is that while I was once misled, I will no longer be living in your shadow. The tag team titles that I won with you mean NOTHING to me...the only belt that means something to me is the one that is currently on your shoulder when it belongs around MY WAIST! So Zack, you can continue to make the mistake of losing focus in an effort to be something that you're not, or you can bring the REAL Zack Malibu to School's Out, and attempt to give me a challenge. All you're doing is holding that belt, Zack. You don't DESERVE it. I DO.

Leon lowers the mic, and scowls at Zack, who stands by the ropes and glares right back at his former tag team partner. Leon disappears to the fact, thunderous boos acting as his exit theme as he vanishes through the curtain. Zack steps back from the ropes, then turns and looks at Anglesault.

MALIBU
I give 100% to this company every day of my life...I do anything and everything I can. So I'm not asking you, I'm TELLING YOU, I don't care what happens at School's Out, you stay out of it.

ANGLESAULT
If that's what you want.

MALIBU
That's what I want. As for you, Leon, I know you can still hear me. If you're expecting to break my will, if you're expecting me to go easy on you, you are SADLY mistaken.

Frustrated, Zack throws the mic down and exits the ring, leaving Anglesault alone. Zack storms up the ramp, belt slung over the shoulder, while our announcers survey the situation.

COLE
An interesting turn of events here tonight, Coach. Anglesault claiming that Zack is lacking killer instinct, Leon Rodez stating that Zack is the one who is selfish and egomanical, and essentially, BOTH of them are saying that Malibu doesn't have it anymore!

COACH
The guy is a great wrestler, but that'll only get you so far. Zack's gone soft, and that's all there is too it. His will is gone, Mikey Cole. They're both right. This is not the Zack Malibu of old.

COLE
Whether that's the popular opinion or not remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain...Zack Malibu has been called out on the carpet, and come School's Out, he will be looking to erase those thoughts from everyone's mind!

BLAH BLAH
REJECT VS DENZEL SPENCER
BLAH BLAH
BLAH

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he lights dim and Los Diablos de Fuego and the Love Doctors prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage to the tune of "It's Raining Men" by Geri Halliwell.

BUFFER
Hailing from Chicago, Illinois, total combine weight 435 pounds, the team of DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LOOOOOOOOOVE DOCTORS!! And their partners, from beautiful, sunny Cabo San Lucas, México… a tag team muy caliente… LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

We go from cheers to jeers as "Right Round" by Flo Rida hits.

BUFFER
Their opponents, led to the ring by QUEEN ESTHER! Here are THE MARDI GRAS HHHEEEEELLLLFIRE CLUB and THE LAST KINGS OF SSSSSCOTLAND!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Queen Esther waves to the masses and they wave back with THE MIDDLE FINGER~! Sheltered from the outside world in her magical kingdom, the gesture flies over the head of Queen Esther, evident by her thanking members of the audience.  

COACH
The youth of America, Cole. Depressing.

COLE
Be that as it may, we’re about set for 8-man tag team action. The first time we get to see the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club and Last Kings of Scotland together since forming an alliance last week.

* DINGDINGDING *

No threat in his view Rico lets Moracca apply a side headlock, and easily flings him across. Big man on campus, the King of Mardi Gras struts while STROKING THE ’STACHE~! Able to land on his feet the flaming luchador gives Rico a mock clap, to his disgust. They lockup and Rico throws a knee to the gut, followed by a clubbing forearm to the back and jackhammer-like double axe handle smashes. Rammed into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul, Moracca is shoved into the corner as the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club. Soul unleashes an array of kicks to the body and then a backhand slap!

COACH
HO2SLEEP~!

Whipped off, Moracca counters THE POUNCE INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!  Quick kiss to Mariachi for the tag and THE FROG SPLASH!

The count.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Mariachi wrings the arm and tags Max Anderson, who delivers a SPINNING BACKFIST. He scoops Soul back up only to send him back down courtesy of a LARIAT! But instead of a pin we get a tag as the Love Doctors showcase one of their patent double-team moves… THE MORPHINE BOMB!!!

COLE
The team of Los Diablos de Fuego and the Love Doctors going all-out here this week.

COACH
Yeah, because they’re desperate for a win, Cole. A win tonight and all of a sudden both teams are back in the hunt for a tag title shot, which I still maintain belongs to the LDC Moneygang and not the Orange County Cobras.

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

SAVE BY RICO!

Into the ropes Soul goes, but he puts on the brakes and makes sure Pigley gets a warm WELCOME TO NAWLINS!

COLE
Beautifully executed butterfly backbreaker right there.

Off the ropes Soul lands a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!

The cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Soul rams Pigley into the buckle and tags Scottish Scott. Corner shoulder thrusts knock the air out of Pigley and almost through the top and middle turnbuckle for that matter. Sent for the ride Pigley is doubled over following a blow to the midsection, and then floored by a running knee lift. But rather than go for the pin Scottish Scott attempts a knee drop and meets canvas. Moracca receives the tag and wrenches the arm of Scott, then proceeds to sensually rub the Braveheart’s hands against his genitals!

QUEEN ESTHER
:o

Outraged, Scott levels Moracca with a forearm smash. He tags Danny Boy and the Last Kings of Scotland hit a DOUBLE FLAPJACK! Always ones to pose after high impact moves, Scottish Scott clubs his chest while Danny Boy blows air bagpipes.

QUEEN ESTHER
(clapping)
Bravo! Bravo!

It’s back to business as Danny Boy scrapes Moracca off the mat and delivers a PUMPHANDLE FALLAWAY SLAM! Following a brain buster Danny whips Moracca into the corner and tags Lucius Soul who performs his signature 360 STINGER SPLASH!

COACH
Soul Brother Splash!

That leads to another tag, and a devastating RUNNING UPPERCUT by Rico de Janeiro. A body slam follows and so too does a tag. Though it was Scottish Scott who got the tag, both Last Kings scale the buckles for a TOP ROPE DOUBLE LEGDROP!!!

COLE
Highlander Farewell! And that should do it.

Scott makes the cover as his partners cut off the faces.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB and THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

All the Queen’s men pose triumphantly as the Love Doctors and Mariachi drag Moracca to safety.

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

The crowd roars as the Citizen Soldiers march ringside surrounded by OAOAST officials.

COLE
Oh-uh. We may have ourselves a special bonus match.

COACH
I doubt that. Look at all the security Baron Windels and Tim Cash brought with them.  They probably tipped them off to their actions to avoid a physical confrontation with all the Queen’s men.

Words are exchanged but no punches are thrown as OAOAST officials do an excellent job keeping the situation under control.

COLE
You know the Citizen Soldiers will have their day with Queen Esther’s royal band of hell raisers. And I can’t wait.

COMMERCIAL

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Inside the Cucaracha Internacional locker room, Landon Maddix paces around, an air of frustration about him. Black and Faqu are off at the back of the room with Megan, it's Cortez and Blonde who's attentions Landon has, sat on opposite ends of a leather couch.

MADDIX
That could have been us out there. Eight man tag, united as one. You think either of those teams would have been a match for us? We would have demolished them. Dominated them!

Sighing, Landon stops pacing, hands on hips.

MADDIX
I just don't get it. We've got a good thing going... and yet, you two sign up for this 'Money In The Bank' match, meaning we can't go and flaunt our superiority and unity on Pay Per View like we should have been doing. And the first I hear about it is when I'm told, "oh no Landon, we can't fit you in for an eight man tag at School's Out, because two of you are busy already".

BLONDE
I'm sorry!

Rolling his eyes at the apology from the every loyal Canadian, Cortez stands up.

CORTEZ
I didn't think you'd have a problem with it.

MADDIX
Well, quite clearly I do Todd.

CORTEZ
Look, Josie approached me about being in it because I'm the US Champion, which puts me in as a future contender for the World Title. You weren't around so I figured, why not?

MADDIX
And the World Title is more important to you than this, right here, us, Cucaracha Internacional?

CORTEZ
Honestly? Yeah. Money In The Bank worked okay for you, didn't it?

Finding it hard to argue, Landon turns to Blonde.

MADDIX
And then when Josie came to you and said you were a top future contender, you jumped in too I suppose?

BLONDE
Uhm... well... yeah, that's pretty much what happened, give or take a few minor details.

CORTEZ
Like how you demanded to be involved when you heard I was in?

BLONDE
Well.....

MADDIX
So you specifically asked, knowing I had plans for us?

BLONDE
......

MADDIX
And here I thought you were the one most commited to this cause.

BLONDE
.......UNITY!

Blurting out Landon's buzzword of the moment, Blonde's mind works overtime trying to think of a reason.

BLONDE
I... thought if Todd was in then I should be in too so I could watch his back... for unity.

Apparantly, using the word unity worked and was enough to placate Landon, as he sits down.

MADDIX
Okay. Okay, I can live with that. You two work together, win the briefcase, then you've got a whole year to wait to cash in and we can go back to proving ourselves as the most dominant group in the OAOAST. In the future though, run these things by me first though, would you? This is an Internacional democracy. And, as such, I have final say. Can't just have you guys running around doing what you want, know what I mean?

Todd and Blonde probably do know what Landon means, but are too busy glaring at each other behind his back to be listening.


COLE
A little over a week away from School's Out and the participants in the Money in the Bank ladder match have begun gearing up for that big event as the winner receives a guaranteed OAOAST Title shot.

COACH
And one man really looking forward to that one, even though he isn't apart of it, happens to be standing by right now with these pre-recorded comments. My good friend Theodore Moneymaker.

We cut to Moneymaker in front of the Enterprise backdrop.

MONEYMAKER
I told everybody the OAOAST Championship would be in my possession one day. And that day will be Sunday, May 31 at School's Out. Because that night in the Big Easy another proud member of the Enterprise will go home guaranteed a shot at whoever survives the OAOAST Title match between former friends turned bitter enemies Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. That man is Spencer Reiger! BWAHAHA!

New York's Finest enters the screen arm in arm with Lorelei DeCenzo. His tag team partner Colin Maguire, Jr. at his side as well.

REIGER
Truer words have never been spoken. It's Money in the Bank and who's the biggest cash cow in the OAOAST? The Enterprise of course. A group I'm proud to represent and will make proud when I outwit and outlast 7 other competitors in a ladder match. Grabbing the briefcase will be the hardest part in this venture to become OAOAST Champion, because like you said Teddy, whoever survives the title match between Malibu and Rodez won't have anything to stop me from bringing home the gold. And you can put that...money...in the bank.

MONEYMAKER
BWAHAHA~!

We fade out Moneymaker's always creepy laughter

BOY BAND WARFARE
D*LUX SQUARES OFF
TYLER BRYANT VS SHAYNE BRAVE
COMING UP NEXT

COMMERCIAL

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BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest, partner versus partner, is scheduled for one fall!

"Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 plays and those partners emerge, together, and far from eager. Tyler and Shayne look far too troubled to pose for their adoring fans as they stare at the ring, then at each other, dreading what they're finding themselves about to have to do.

BUFFER
Introducing first, from Auburn Hills, Michigan... weighing one hundred and ninety six pounds... he is one half of D*LUX, "TREMENDOUS" TTYYYYYYLLLEEEEERRRR... BBRRRRYYYYYAAAAANNTT!! ..... (nudge) And, uh, also making his way to the ring is his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan... he weighs one hundred, eighty three pounds, also one half of D*LUX, "SHOWTIME" SSSSHHHHHAAAAYYYYYNNEEEE... BBRRRRAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEEE!!!

"YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
This is a most unique match and unique situation for Tyler and Shayne to find themselves in. D*LUX, teammates for so long, pitted against each other.

COACH
Well they brought in on themselves. Dumb young simps thought they could play Krista. Well they made a hell of a mistake, didn't they?

COLE
D*LUX of course eager to get a tag team match with their idols Chicks Over Dicks. And thanks to their on-off manager Jade Rodez-Duncan, daughter of Krista, they got their match, at School's Out in ten days. But, the question is, at what cost?

Entering the ring, Tyler and Shayne stand around wondering what to do for a few seconds. After all, this isn't a normal situation. Stood in the same corner they discuss, before approaching the referee apparantly trying to get him to help them out. Ref Charles Robinson shrugs his shoulders, just there to do his job and informing the poor kids that his job doesn't involve making or cancelling matches.

COACH
What's the matter, all out of genius ideas?


Give me those bright lights, long nights
High rise, over time

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
Uh-oh!

Give me them bright lights, long nights
Party till the sun is rising
High rise, over time
Working till the moon is shining
Hot guys, fly girls
Never thought I'd say
I feel on top of the world
I feel on top of the world Hey

Tyler and Shayne freeze as they hear "Top Of The World" by The Pussycat Dolls pumping through the arena. Because just when things couldn't get worse, here arrive Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia! A very popular arrival, especially when the Oklahoma fans catch sight of Krista's sexy secretary get-up, clipboard in hand and ready for business. SEXY business. Krista marches to the ring, blowing a kiss to the camera as she passes, lifting up her spectacles as she does so. Behind her, Alix has apparantly decided tonight is casual Thursday by not dressing up to match her partner.

COLE
D*LUX can only dread to think why Krista and Alix are out here.

COACH
Who cares why they're out here? LOOK! That's one boss I wouldn't mind putting in the overtime for. BAZAAM~!

Stepping her way around ringside Krista takes up position at the commentary table where Coach tries his best to stop bouncing around in his excitement.

KRISTA
Wellity wellity wellity, what do we have here?

COLE
Krista, thanks for joining us. What brings you out here?

KRISTA
The sparkling personality and the enlightened conversation topics. What do you think brings us out here? We're here on a scouting mission. Since these two are sooo desperate to face Chicks Over Dicks in a match, well we'd just be the meanest people were we not to take it seriously, wouldn't we?

COLE
Well, that explains the suit and clipboard.

KRISTA
What, this? Oh, no, I just came from a meeting with my lawyers, that's all that is. But until the charges are dropped I'm not allowed to speak of it on air, so let's settle for discussing wrestling stuff and pretend I never said any of that stuff I just said right now, 'kay? Yes, it does explain my suit. Thank you for noticing.

Still hesitant to get underway Tyler and Shayne are pointed to their opposite corners by the referee. They continue to protest and getting sick of waiting around, Robinson signals for the bell, to their dismay.


*DINGDINGDING!*

Having a sudden realisation, Tyler and Shayne stop pleading with the referee and turn to each other. Both looking at each other hoping they have a suggestion they look lost stood in the middle of the ring.

KRISTA
Tremendous action here, the kind you'll only see on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

Referee Robinson motions for the two to start fighting but it's clear Tyler and Shayne don't want to. With few other options they shrug shoulders and exchange looks, thinking about going for a tie-up to get things underway. They slowly approach each other, but before locking together they back away uncomfortable with the idea.

KRISTA
This is like the worst gay kiss tease scene in history. Except for the 6 years you two have been broadcasting together.

COACH
Hey, I'm the token straight one in this foursome, don't get it twisted.

Tyler and Shayne, urged on by the restless crowd, go to tie-up again, only to back away again. Some boos sound out as Tyler and Shayne just can't bring themselves to fight. Eventually though, one of them has an idea. Tyler relays the plan before dropping to the ground and Shayne, after a little hesitation, gets the message and covers...


1...


KRISTA
Nuh-uh...



2...





KRISTA
STOP STOP STOP!

Commandeering a house microphone, Krista manages to get Robinson's attention just before the three count can happen.

KRISTA
Nice try, nice try. I'm afraid though that I'd prepared for this eventuality. When I convinced you to sign up for this match, I didn't do it to see one of you laying on top of the other one. If I'd wanted to see that, I would have just tricked you into posing for an imaginary charity calendar I'd tell you I was producing, then Photoshop out the pants, stick them on the internet and make me some dough. Infact, that's a pretty good idea. Forget I said that. No no, tonight I wanted to see Tyler and Shayne fight and what Krista wants, Krista gets, this is fact. So you two better start fighting right now.

Back on their feet Tyler and Shayne look quizzically at Krista, who sighs.

KRISTA
What happened to all that competitive spirit you had going? Alright, fine. Obviously you need something to fight for, besides the threat of my heel up your ass. So, thinking along those lines, whoever wins doesn't get their ass kicked. Can't say fairer than that.

Thinking about it for a moment, D*LUX decide that's not much consolation.

KRISTA
You spotted how I was lying to you there, well done.

ALIX
How about winners gets to kiss you?

KRISTA
Where the hell did you come from!? And no!

Apparantly that seems more D*LUX's kind of prize. Sensing their interest Krista, secretly cursing Alix, rolls her eyes.

KRISTA
FINE. Winner gets to pucker up.

Right on cue, Shayne pulls Tyler down with a schoolboy rollup!


1...




2...




No!

Back up and Tyler goes behind on Shayne with his own rollup...


1...




2...




No!

Into a collar and elbow tie-up the two partners rough each other up as they jockey for position, all sense of friendship and camaraderie out of the window. Falling into the ropes they're forced to break by referee Robinson, who's suddenly gone from trying to convince the two into fighting to now trying to get them to stop.

KRISTA
Guess I should have thought of that sooner.

COLE
Well it looks like we've finally got a match going here between Shayne and Tyler, now that there's an incentive for them.

KRISTA
I've made some large sacrifices in my life and... you know what, scratch that, I really haven't. I've never really felt the need for them, what with my wealth, fame and fortune. My psychiatrist is always telling me to experience new feelings in life though, come to think of it. So this'll do.

COACH
They do know you're still gonna kill 'em, right?

KRISTA
Oh I don't even know anymore. Whether they know, whether they don't, who cares really. So long as it happens, what's the diff.?

Tyler and Shayne stand in opposite corners have been separated, breathing a little heavier now. They suddenly rush forward out of their corners at the same time charging head on at each first. Shayne tries to take out Tyler's legs with a baseball slide but Tyler frontflips right over him, landing on his feet. Grabbing Shayne he looks for a whip to the corner. Shayne reverses, then charges in and meets a knee to the face. Quickly up to the second rope Tyler grabs Shayne in a front facelock looking for a Tornado DDT. As he takes off Shayne manages to shove him away, but Tyler lands safely on his feet. Shayne comes out of the corner looking for a clothesline, ducked by Tyler who catches the arms. Backslide attempt is countered by Shayne, flipping himself over Tyler's back and out in front. A faked kick causes Tyler to cover up, allowing Shayne to float over the top with a sunset flip attempts. Tyler rolls right through to his feet though, faking a kick of his own and rolling over Shayne in a jacknife pin...


1...



2...



No!

Both men are quickly back up, Tyler quickly back down as Shayne makes a move. Going up and over Shayne comes off the ropes with a headscissors, but bails out halfway round to catch Tyler with a schoolboy instead...


1...



2...



No!

Running right past Tyler, Shayne comes off the ropes and hits a crossbody block...


1...



Tyler rolls over on top...


1...



2...



No!

Tyler rolls back up, but has his legs swept by Shayne...


1...



2...



No!

Kicked up onto his feet, Shayne is swept down...


1...



2...



No!

Both men roll over and nip up at the exact same time and it's a STAND OFF!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

KRISTA
Do people really value a kiss with moi this highly?

COLE
Well, appara...

KRISTA
That was rhetorical. Of course they do.

ALIX
FWIW, she's a definite 8/10. 8.5 when she's drunk.

A little more cautious Tyler and Shayne lock up. Tyler grabs a side headlock, but gets shot off into the ropes. Dropdown by Shayne forces Tyler up and over, looking for a leapfrog as his partner rebounds but gets CAUGHT! Shayne manages to flip back out of powerbomb position though, then crawls through the legs avoiding a kick from Tyler. That leaves the Tremendous One unbalanced and he falls prey to a Leg Lariat! Cover by Shayne...


1...



2...



No!

COLE
What tremendous action here, the kind you'll only see on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!

KRISTA
.....

ALIX
Didn't you... I mean... you said that... that happened earli...

KRISTA
Shh shh shh. Give him his moment honey. It's all he has.

Shayne hooks Tyler up looking for a suplex, but it's blocked. After another block Tyler uses his power advantage to take his partner up instead, dangerously close to the ropes. Shayne is able to navigate his way onto the apron though, leaning in with a shoulder block through the ropes. Bringing himself in over the top of Tyler, Shayne makes a dash for the ropes and gets caught on the rebound with a Powerslam! Tyler covers...


1...



2...



No!

Brought back up by his partner, Shayne is whipped to the corner. Tyler follows in with a clothesline.

TYLER
YEAH-UH~!~!

KRISTA
That's it? "Yeah-uh"? That's his big thing? Oh, if it weren't all so tragic it wouldn't be so entertaining.

Tyler grabs Shayne as he's coming out of the corner and looks for another whip. This time it's countered and Tyler is sent hurtling towards the corner. Wise to this, Tyler runs up the turnbuckles and gets to the top, going for the crossbody... and hanging on! He delays for a second more, then twists with the crossbody... AND GETS DROPKICKED IN MID-AIR!!

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Went for the Auburn Hills Fakeout, but Shayne knew it was coming and didn't fall for the fake!

ALIX
Nothing wrong with fake. Bouncy bouncy!

Shayne covers Tyler...


1...




2...




Kickout!

KRISTA
Okay, I'm officially bored.

COLE
What!? This is a great match!

KRISTA
Eh.

Shayne brings Tyler away from the turnbuckles and delivers a backbreaker, before heading up top. Playing to the crowd, Showtime steadies himself... and MISSES with the Picture Perfect Elbowdrop!

KRISTA
Gee, that was stupid. He's stupid. They're both stupid. How stupid can you get?

ALIX
Ooh, ooh, I know, I know! Ask me!

KRISTA
Your witness.

Both boybanders struggle back to their feet with Tyler winning the race. As such, he has time to prepare, snatching Shayne once he's upright and elevating him onto the shoulders looking for the TKO. Shayne slips free and tries to hit the Snapmare Driver to Tyler. Tyler shoves him away, leading to a double clothesline as Shayne comes back, leaving both men down.

KRISTA
You'd think if you put one half against D*LUX against another half of D*LUX and bet on D*LUX to win, you'd be making easy money. Yet somehow, this two seem to want to make it so they both lose. And in the process, we all lose for having to watch these barely pubescent ignorami. I apologise for even making this match happen. I don't know what I was thinking. Please don't hate me OAOAST public! Grab a book or a magazine to pass the time until it's over or something.

At the referee's count of five both Tyler and Shayne begin to stir.

COLE
I take it you're not impressed by this then Krista. I wonder what Maya, D*LUX's super fan, is making of all this watching at home?

KRISTA
She probably still sobbing over the ashes of all that memorabilia I burnt at the weekend. Word of advice, don't use burning laminated posters to roast marshmallows over. The fumes are intoxxicating.

ALIX
I travelled back to Roman times! It was swank!

Back up at seven, Tyler and Shayne start exchanging forearms.

KRISTA
What is this sissy shit? HIT HIM! HARDER!

COLE
Which one are you cheering for?

KRISTA
The one that doesn't suck.

COACH
So, neither?

KRISTA
Bingo.

After a succession of shots Tyler gets the advantage and whips Shayne to the ropes. Ducking his head, Tyler gets Shayne up on the shoulders again, but again Shayne slips free. He runs Tyler to the ropes and rolls him back...


1...



2...



Counter by Tyler...


1...



2...



Kickout!

Shayne rushes forward, sidestepped by Tyler. The Tremendous One ducks his head early and Shayne sees his opportunity, floating over with a sunset flip... but Tyler reaches back for the legs then drops to his knees, stacking Showtime up...


1...




2...




3!!!

KRISTA
Oh thank you! Mercy from the gods!

*DINGDINGDING!*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match, "TREMENDOUS" TTYYYYLLLLEEEERRRRRR... BBRRRYYYAAAAAAANNTT!!!

Celebrating his win, Tyler makes sure not to go over the top and comiserates with a disappointed Shayne. Meanwhile COD leave the announce booth and head for the ring.

COLE
Do you think Krista realised the microphone was still on the deck and everyone could hear what she was saying the whole time?

COACH
Honestly? Yes.

As Krista and Alix enter, Tyler tries to contain his excitement.

KRISTA
Well, congratulations to you... uhm... wait, which one of you won again?

Tyler raises his hand, ego suitably dented.

KRISTA
Right, of course. Well by the rules of the match that means you get to pucker on up, so while I go against everything my mother brought me up to believe as a budding teen model and supress the urge to vomit, is there anything you'd like to say?

TYLER
Uhm... well, I guess I'd like to say thank you, but uh... we kinda heard you commentating in the background and you were sorta mean about us. What was that about?

KRISTA
Oh, sweetie. Shut up and purse those lips.

Not one to disobey that order, Tyler shrugs and does just that. Krista pulls out a lipstick from her pocket and gets herself ready.

KRISTA
It's funny. Jade always said you two were a little naive and I just dismissed it, much like most of what she says. But you two REALLY don't get it, do you?

Krista blows a kiss to camera, licks her lips...




...AND PUNCHES TYLER RIGHT IN THE FACE!!!!

COLE
OH!

Jumping to his fallen partner's side, Shayne looks up wondering what the hell that was for.

KRISTA
A kiss with a fist is better than none.

Before Shayne knows what's happening, Krista gives the signal as she and Alix proceed to stomp the hell out of the boybanders, to more than a fair share of cheers from the Oklahoma crowd!! The young boybanders are beaten to the ground with shocked looks etched on their faces. Krista halts with her kicks as she grabs Tyler's legs and splays them. Suddenly feeling faint, Alix staggers around, before taking a very dramatic collapse, headfirst between the Tremendous legs of Tyler!! As he rolls around in agony, Shayne finds his way back to his feet, only to be blown a kiss goodbye and struck with KIDOLOGY!!!

COLE
Chicks Over Dicks are teaching D*LUX a lesson in CODology!

Checking her hair is all in place Krista dusts her hands with satisfaction. Alix dances around the fallen bodies of D*LUX, double dog daring them to get them some more.

"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"

COLE
And this crowd are going wild for some VINTAGE~! Chicks Over Dicks!

Krista stands over D*LUX and tells them "This is what happens when you mess with us!", as if further exclamation point were needed on top of the beatdown. Pulling out her lipstick again, Krista then kneels down and proceeds to put a literal stamp on their handiwork as she scrawls the letters "COD" onto the foreheads of both Tyler and Shayne. Ignoring Alix's urges to "draw a penis too, that'd be killer awesome" Krista then leaves to the adulation of the crowd.

COACH
You know what the best thing is? This is only the start! The appetiser! The hors d'eouvre! Imagine what epic sonning Krista and Alix are gonna dish out at School's Out!

COLE
It may be playground bullying at it's most brutal at School's Out! We may see wedgies, we may see swirlies, we may see some wet willies!

COACH
You wish.

COD leave with their point proven in grand fashion, but it's clear that Krista hasn't gotten more than a fraction of her revenge yet as she looks back at D*LUX struggling to recover themselves in the ring.

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OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by

LANDON MADDIX FOR SPANISH HAIR CARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y60RGIvgh2s

Returning from our commercial break we find


christina_aguilera_300x400.jpg
Lorelei DeCenzo standing inside the ring with


369-284.jpg
Morgan Nerdly. As Morgan keeps her hands shoved deep into her pockets, Lorelei speaks on the microphone.

LORELEI
Supposedly Morgan is supposed to apologize for what she did to Josie last week. Apparently the producers of this show think that Morgan must lower her pride and attempt to feign pity for Josie’s sake. I’m sorry to tell you none of that will be happening tonight! Morgan has no reason to apologize to anyone. If anything Josie owes Morgan an apology for the way she allowed her sister to frame her, and how she treated Morgan with utter disrespect in her office.  Morgan when Josie belittled you, how did it feel?

MORGAN
It hurt me a lot.

LORELEI
And why did it hurt you?

MORGAN
Because it took me back to my childhood, when my parents would dismiss all my problems and say I’m just being an immature kid, why can’t I act more like Melissa or Maggie ? Why can’t I be someone else. I’m nobody else! I’m Morgan! I have problems, lots of problems, but I’m not gonna let anyone make light of me or make fun of me. I know to all of you I’m a freak, you couldn’t give a crap me and no one else does either. I don’t care what you think! I don’t care if you know I hear voices or know what medicines I’m on better than my psychiatrist. I just want you all to go! Just leave me alone!

LORELEI
Who can not see the pain in anguish in this girl? Many people here are heartless and cold, compassion holds no home in professional wrestling. But I Mackenzie Lorelei DeCenzo promise to stand by this troubled young girl. I’ll be her friend when so many people want to be her enemy.  I’m that kind of good person. I have the morals that the OAOAST Marks are sorely lacking.

Suddenly Sophie appears on the Angletron!

SOPHIE
Bonjour, madames. Lorelei, tu est  une espece d’imbelicle!  Tu es un pauvre!

LORELEI
You can’t talk to me like that!

SOPHIE
Va te faire foutre! Tu es la possion merde!

LORELEI
Morgan , you can not let this tramp talk to me like that! Go and stop her at once!

Following orders with the enthusiasm of broken robot, Morgan exits the ring. Her tiny fists are clenched into tight balls as she trudges up the ramp to find Sophie backstage. The problem is Sophie is no where near the backstage area. She’s in fact sliding into the ring after coming through the crowd. Unaware of Sophie’s arrival is Lorelei. Because of this the French Girl easily spears her down to the mat!

COACH
CATFIGHT~!

This battle of feisty felines goes decidely Sophie’s way as she rips and tears at Lori’s hair and expensive gown. The fans are delighted to see Lori get her comeuppance. But, Sophie’s revenge is cut short by security pouring into the ring! Freed from Sophie, Lori screams threats at the top of her lungs and promises Sophie’s destruction.

COMING UP NEXT
THE MAINEVENT
DENZEL SPENCER VS REJECT
NEXT!

COMMERCIAL

THE LONG AND WELL STORIED HISTORY OF THE MONEY IN THE BANK!

~ ANGLEMANIA V TWO FOR THE MONEY MATCH~

Malibu reaches up, and his hand grazes the belt once before it takes hold of it, snapping the belt and the attatched contract off the harness!

CABOOSE
HE'S GOT IT! RING THE BELL!

*DING DING DING*

COLE
ZACK MALIBU HAS WON TWO FOR THE MONEY!

~2008 MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT~

COLE
Krista Isadora Duncan has become Miss Money In The Bank!

SCHOOLS OUT 2008, HISTORY WILL BE MADE ONCE AGAIN

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Master Blaster (Jammin') plays, and Denzel Spencer gets a nice reaction as he makes his way to the ring.

COLE
And here comes one of the entrants in the Money in the Bank match, Denzel Spencer!  Let's go to Michael Buffer!

BUFFER
The following contest is scheduled for one fall!  Making his way to the ring, from Montego Bay, Jamaica, weighing in at 227 pounds...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

COLE
Obviously a big longshot to come out victorious at School's Out, but Denzel Spencer has surprised people before in the OAOAST, so we'll see!

Spencer slides into the ring and poses on the buckles, as Final Ride hits, and boos fill the arena as Reject makes his entrance.

BUFFER
His opponent...hailing from the Bronx, weighing in at 230 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!!

Reject climbs into the ring and poses, drawing boos, then tries a sneak attack, but Denzel sees it coming, and moves out of the way, firing off right hands!

*DING DING DING*

COLE
Here we go!  Reject going for the cheap shot, but Denzel too smart for it!

Spencer hammers on Reject in a corner, leveling him with kicks and forearms, then attempts an Irish whip.  However, Reject reverses, then charges, but Spencer moves out of the way!  Spencer then catches Reject with a drop toe hold, then a clothesline as he gets to his feet!

COLE
Denzel Spencer looking great in the early going!

Spencer then backs Reject into a corner, and climbs to the second rope, hammering away as the crowd counts along!

1!!!


2!!!


3!!!


4!!!


5!!!


6!!!


7!!!


8!!!


9!!!


10!!!

Spencer then whips Reject into the ropes, but puts his head down, and gets kicked in the face by Reject!

COLE
Mistake by Spencer, and Reject taking advantage!

Spencer staggers into the ropes, but when Reject charges him, he ducks down and dumps him to the floor!

COLE
And Reject sent to the outside!

Spencer stops briefly to catch his breath, then backs into the ropes, and attempts a baseball slide, but Reject steps out of the way, then clotheslines Spencer on the floor!

COACH
Yeah!

COLE
Big clothesline from Reject, Spencer landing on the floor with a thud!

Reject catches his breath, then stomps away on Spencer before tossing him back inside.  Reject rolls back in, then picks up Spencer by the head, running to the ropes and jumping over the top, hanging Spencer on the rope!

COACH
Beautiful!

Reject quickly rolls back in, then hits a fistdrop on Spencer and covers...

1...




2...




Kickout!

Reject then chokes away on Spencer on the mat, breaking at the referee's four-count.  He then poses for the crowd, drawing boos.

COLE
Reject with the advantage here in this match featuring two of the eight Money in the Bank participants!

Reject grabs Spencer and pulls him to the apron, then steps outside and drops an elbow across the collarbone area!  He then does it a second time, and Spencer falls off the apron and onto the floor.

COACH
And now it goes to the outside, Cole, and this plays into Reject's advantage!

COLE
I'd have to agree with that.

Reject picks up Spencer, and drops him across the guardrail!  He then picks him up again, and throws him HARD into the steel steps!

COACH
DAY-UM~!

COLE
What FORCE Reject used to send Spencer into those steel steps!

Reject then rolls back inside and poses some more for the crowd, who boos in response.  He lets Spencer crawl back inside, then drops an elbow to the back of the head.  Spencer turns over to his back, and Reject drops a fist.  He then drops another, and covers...

1...






2...






Kickout!

COLE
Credit to Denzel Spencer, he keeps kicking out!

Reject picks up Spencer, but Spencer starts firing off right hands!

COLE
And look at him fight back!

Spencer whips Reject into the ropes, but Reject ducks a spinkick, and drills Spencer with a spinning wheel kick!

COACH
There we go!

COLE
But just like that, Reject puts a stop to the rally!

Cover...

1...






2...






Shoulder up!

Reject goes to the top rope, but Spencer beats him to the corner, and racks him!

COACH
Oh no!

COLE
Big chance for Specner to gain an advantage!

Spencer follows Reject to the top, and takes him off with a HURRICANRANA~!

COLE
BIG move by Denzel Spencer!

Both men are out on the mat, as the referee counts.

1!!!


2!!!


3!!!


4!!!


5!!!


6!!!


7!!!


8!!!

Spencer gets to his feet first, and ducks a clothesline from Reject, hitting him with an atomic drop!  Reject is propelled into the ropes, and when he comes back, Spencer catches him with an inverted atomic drop!  Denzel then takes Reject down with a jumping sidekick, ala Booker T, and covers...

1...









2...









NO! Shoulder up!

COLE
Near-fall for Denzel Spencer!

Spencer picks up Reject, and whips him into a corner, hitting with a handspring elbow!  As Reject staggers out, Spencer slips behind him and climbs the ropes backwards, then hits Reject with a missile dropkick!

COLE
Big dropkick!

1...









2...









NO!  Shoulder up!

COLE
WOW, so close!

Spencer argues the count, then scoops Reject up, but Reject slips behind the back, and delivers a foot to the gut.

COACH
Could be the Pitch Black, Cole!

Reject sets up the PITCH BLACK~!!!!!11111, but Spencer backdrops out!

COLE
Nice counter by Denzel!

Spencer hooks a standing headscissors of his own, but Reject trips him up, and executes a slingshot...right into the referee in the corner!

COLE
And the referee goes down!

As Denzel checks on the referee, Reject goes into his tights and pulls out a set of brass knuckles.

COACH
Uh-oh...

COLE
Denzel better watch out here!

Denzel goes back over to Reject...who decks him with the knucks!

COLE
And Denzel gets nailed with the brass knuckles!  Don't let it end this way!

The referee slowly crawls over, and makes the count...

1...









2...









NO!!!  Denzel gets the shoulder up!

COLE
Only two!

COACH
I can't believe it.

Reject rolls out of the ring, and grabs a steel chair, then slides back inside.  He sizes Denzel up, as the referee is still dazed, then the crowd begins to cheer as Alfdogg runs down the aisle!

COLE
Hey!  It's Alf!

COACH
What's he doing down here?

Alf slides into the ring and grabs the chair from Reject, then clobbers him over the head with it!

COLE
What a shot with the steel chair!

Alf tosses the chair to the outside, and departs, as Denzel pulls himself to his feet.  Denzel makes his way over to Reject, and positions him, then climbs to the top.

COACH
No, this is not right, Cole!  Alf had no business out here!

Denzel gets position on the top rope, and hits the KINPUPPALICK~!!!!!11111  Cover...

1...











2...











3!!!

COLE
And Denzel wins!  Can you believe it?

BUFFER
The winner of the match...DENNNNNZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

COACH
Well, what do you expect with Alf's interference?

COLE
It's Reject's own fault, he's the one who brought the chair into the ring!

COACH
This stinks!

Spencer rolls out of the ring and slaps hands with the fans down the aisle, as Reject comes to in the ring, then gets to his feet, as the referee explains what happened.  In response, Reject executes the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 on the referee!

COLE
And now Reject with the Eulogy on the referee!

Reject throws a tantrum in the ring, then exits the ring and storms back down the aisle.

COLE
Reject now having to face reality, as Denzel Spencer gets the winner's purse at his expense! Folks we'll see you next week! Have a great memorial day weekend!

FADE OUT

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