Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLTCXZbCNFU The fans are on their feet for the start of America's favorite sports entertainment show. And Michael Cole and Da Coach are ready to start the festivities. COLE Folks, HeldDOWN is here in Louisville, Kentucky, home of our great training program OAOVW! The atmosphere is electric here, as the man touted as best graduate of OAOVW Spencer Reiger teams Lorelei DeCenzo to face Bohemoth and Jade Rodez-Duncan. Another product of the OAOVW system Mister Dick competes for his spot in the Money In The Bank match at School's Out, after a crushing loss to Zack Malibu in Montreal. COACH That title was Mister Dicks! Then Anglesault old hookin and whorin freak-a-leek came in and ruined Mister Dick's big moment! COLE Well ladies and gentlemen School's Out is now just two weeks away and our main event has been signed. Fresh off of his title defence in Montreal, OAOAST World Champion Zack Malibu has demanded that he gets one more shot at the man he took the title from, his former friend Leon Rodez. We were scheduled to talk to Leon live and we're going to do that right now, albeit via satellite, after Leon refused to appear here tonight in Louisville. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd show their disapproval as the face of Leon Rodez appears on the AngleTron and in split-screen on screen. Wearing the same sour look on his face as he has for weeks Leon reclines back in the seat in the Michigan studio. COLE Leon we thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule. LEON Sarcasm. That's nice. COLE Last week we sent Josh Matthews to Detroit to get an explanation for your shocking actions a few weeks ago at the expense of Zack Malibu and the impression you've left on us all is that of a bitter and resentful person. Now you've got your rematch for the World Title, are you satisfied? Leon wipes a scowl from his face, adjusting in his seat. LEON First of all, as far as why I'm not with you in person tonight, the fact is there's nothing there for me. Nothing except more questions and more accusations from people who expect better of me, without offering me anything better in return. I'm not missed and I don't miss anyone there. So until I've got an obligation to be there, I don't see any point in showing up. Leaning out of his morose position Leon glares at the camera. LEON As far as your question, am I satisfied? Satisfied with what? Zack Malibu gives me a rematch. So what? That's the absolute LEAST I deserve from Zack Malibu. You know, maybe if Zack had given me this rematch sooner, maybe I would have maintained my hope in human decency. Maybe I might have kept the false idea that this 'friendship' you keep talking about meant anything. After what happened at the Celtic Spectacular, I've been waiting for this. Waiting for Zack Malibu to give me what's rightfully mine, a second chance, just like I gave him the moment I saw his foot on that bottom rope. Am I satisfied? (sighs) Zack has proven me right again. He hasn't given me this title rematch out of guilt or out of friendship. He's given me it for the same reason he does everything in his life. Hatred and revenge. COLE So was this your plan all along, to force Zack Malibu's hand by turning your back on him... LEON Do you think I would plan this!? Do you think that this is what I wanted? To be broken down emotionally, outcast from society, eyes wide open to the fact that life sucks? You think I planned to have everything in my life prove completely meaningless? You don't get it, do you? You don't get how I feel! There was no plan. Just a sudden realisation. I never asked for a rematch from Zack. I took for granted that one day he'd give him what I deserved. When I realised he only cared about himself, just like every other human being on this planet, I took my frustrations out on him and that's it. The World Heavyweight Title never meant that much to me that I'd manipulate people to get it back. Nothing did. I'm not Zack Malibu. I'm not a manipulator. I'm the manipulatee! And I always have been. COACH Leon, Coach here. Question is, why did you accept this match? You gotta know Zack's gonna be out for revenge. Leon shakes his head. LEON Zack can talk about revenge but if you ask me, after all the times he's used me, he's still got plenty to pay back first before he can think about that. COLE In that case, what are you after here? Are you after the World Title or are you after Zack Malibu? LEON Revenge is a base emotion, one which I got out of my system when I put Zack in my Liontamer. I don't care enough to think about revenge. I don't care about Zack Malibu anymore. I don't care enough to feel hatred or frustrations anymore because it's just not worth it. And I don't care about being the flag bearer of this company anymore either. All the accolades and all the records... I realise now, they're all meaningless. The only reason I care about the OAOAST World Title is because it's rightfully mine. Life has taken away what's mine and for too long I've sat back and took it without a fight. School's Out, New Orleans Louisana, I will take back what's mine. COLE You expect us to believe that you don't care if Zack Malibu is hurt by all this? That you're not trying to make him feel bad, in whatever way be it mentally or physically, by what you're doing? Looking down, Leon mulls it over for a couple of seconds. LEON Karma is a cruel thing. Trust me, I know. At School's Out I will be Zack Malibu's karma. Maybe it's about time Zack Malibu felt a little bit of the pain that I feel. And Zack, know two things. Know that no matter what stunts you pull, what stops you pull out and what rules you break to try and ruin me again, you can't break a spirit that's already been broken. And know that when it's all over, you won't end up like me. Because you still care about the empty sympathy of all your fans that's going to be waiting for you... just like always. Pulling off his microphone Leon abruptly ends the interview again by leaving, as he did last time. COLE I... I just can't get over this side of Leon Rodez. And I think deep down, no matter what he says, the problem isn't that he doesn't care, it's that he cares far too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 -EARLIER TONIGHT- As the OAOAST crew work away like beavers in the background, assembling the various sets and interview positions for the night's show, we find the attractive group of Melody Nerdly, Molly Nerdly and Sophie. The trio of young ladies chatter away... or, rather, Molly and Sophie chat, in between Molly turning her head to offer advice to a production crew member trying to set up a camera shot. Melody just stands tapping on her Nintendo DS screen, chewing away on something. Clearly she's not following the conversation her arty associates are having and looks relieved to see Jade Rodez-Duncan appearing. JADE Hiyah. SOPHIE Bonjour l'amie, comment ça va? Je suis désolé sur votre le frére. JADE ...uhm, hi Sophie. How's your back? SOPHIE Aah, it is how you say 'improving', merci beaucoup for your concerns. And may I ask how you are coping? Jade forces a smile. JADE Okay, I guess. Just got a lot on my mind. Listen, I know we all agreed to meet up but honestly, I'm not sure my heart's in it. I really need to find Tyler and Shayne. They're in trouble with Mom and Alix and I'm really worried about what they're gonna do, my conscience is going wild so I don't think I'm gonna be much company. MELODY (hits pause) That's the whole point. We're feeling down so we're going to go shopping or read girly magazines or whatever it is us girls do when the power's out and we've run out of battery power on our games consoles. Here, this'll make you feel better. Melody offers Jade an Oreo cookie. JADE Have you been carrying round an entire sleeve of Oreos? MELODY I'm sick of walking all the way across the building to catering. When they give me a place to change that's within walking distance, ask me again. Suddenly, all the heads turn at the sound of laughter. Self absorbed laughter. The kind of laughter that comes from people like Lorelei DeCenzo. Flanked by a smug Spencer Reiger, Lorelei walks up to the girls as bold as brass, unconcerned with the angry looks she gets from all four. LORELEI Well well, what do we have here? Concocting another one of your schemes are we? What is it this time, have you found a new make-up professional who can fake a good acid burn? Or maybe you're planning to stage a hit and run accident? Because if that is your plan, I hate to inform you, Morgan doesn't have a driver's license. So think again. MOLLY Don't rise to it Sophie. LORELEI Yes, Sophie, you wouldn't want to do anything silly now. Who knows what might happen as a result. Wave that white flag your nation is so fond of. SPENCER Yeah, you rotten little liar! Trying to force her way through to Lorelei, Sophie is blocked off by her friends who wisely try to keep her out of trouble. LORELEI Face it, you got what you deserved once already for your lies. SPENCER Liar! LORELEI Let that be a message to you. Morgan is a fragile girl and she doesn't need any of you hurting her any further. All she needs is me. So keep your damn noses out of our business and quit with your vicious little lies or thi... SPENCER LIAR! LORELEI .....or things could get very nasty for you. MELODYMmff mff mmfmf? Unfortunately, Melody had a mouthful of Oreo and ends up sraying everyone with crumbs while failing to get her point across. SPENCER Anyone wanna translate for Grimace? MELODY I said, "is that so". LORELEI Yes, that is so. Learn from your little friends what happens when you try and mess with me. They'll tell you. Go ahead and play Sex And The City, The Low Budget Version with the rest of these insignificant little girls, do not get above your station, 'mademoiselle'. SPENCER For what it's worth, low budget or not, you're doing a great job with the tribute act. I wouldn't want to nail any of you four without a few dozen drinks in my stomach either. All of a sudden, Jade steps forward from the group with a scowl. MELODY Easy Jade... JADE No, I've had enough of this. Jade steps closer to Lorelei, who gives her an incredulous look. JADE You're evil. You're just using Morgan because you know she's too messed up to do anything about it. Well you might be able to do what you like to her, but I won't let you insult my friends and insult me. I've had to put up with enough crap recently, without having to take it from you. So if you don't go away right now then I'll... I'll... LORELEI (mocking) I'll... I'll... you'll what, call your Mommy? Don't make me laugh! Jade tries to keep her composure but is second away from laying Lorelei out. LORELEI You know what, you clearly didn't learn anything from what happened to you at AngleMania. Spencer makes an 'L'-sign on his forehead behind Lorelei's back. LORELEI So perhaps I need to teach you a lesson myself that NOBODY speaks to Lorelei DeCenzo like you just did and gets away with it. You and me, in the ring, so all of your Myspace buddies here can see for themselves what happens. JADE Fine! Clearing his throat, Spencer whispers something in Lorelei's ear, something enough to make Lorelei smile. LORELEI Second thoughts... seeing as Colin isn't here tonight, let's make it a tag team match instead. Me and my One Man Triple Threat, versus you and whoever you can find to take pity on you. SPENCER Think of it as your prom night revisited. Except even more hopeless. LORELEI Ooh, you know what, maybe you could call Mommy, I'm sure she'd only be too eager to help out daughter dearest! Ooh, ooh, or maybe you can ask Uncle Leon? Hahaha! Jade scowls again and is just about to take a swing for Lorelei, before gazing up and behind Spencer and Lorelei at an unseen figure. SPENCER And by the way, when I said about needing a few drinks earlier, I was only kidding around. I could probably knock out a quickie with you sober. Just keep the fat one away from me. So don't look so glum. I know how you women fawn over me, especially you young impressionable types, it's just hard when you have standards though especially whe-whe-oh-I-ah-eh! Trailing off into an string of stammering, Spencer finally realises that BOHEMOTH is standing behind him. BOHEMOTH Have we got a problem? SPENCER No sir! Stepping around, Bo wraps his arm around Jade protectively. Spencer and Lorelei wisely decide this is the time to get the heck out of there, hurrying off before Bo can get filled in on the full story. BOHEMOTH Thought not. COLE So that was earlier tonight and it's going to lead to later on, an intergender tag team match as Spencer and Lorelei team up to take on Jade and her partner in more ways than one Bohemoth! A lesson to us all, be careful when, where and to whom you decide to run your mouth. Backstage in Josie's office we find…MORGAN NERDLY with the general manager herself. MORGAN You're doing what? JOSIE I'm fining you, that's what I'm doing. Morgan's eyes go wide at the thought of a fine. MORGAN How can you fine me when I've never done something wrong? JOSIE Never done something wrong? Never done something wrong? Slamming her fist on the desk, Morgan is seething in rage. MORGAN That's what I said! JOSIE You know exactly what you did. You attacked my Sophie and then conspired with Lorelei to produce a tape making her out to be the bad guy. MORGAN I didn’t do anything like that. I never touched Sophie before our match and I don’t know where that tape came from but it shows Sophie trying to set me up. With Molly's help. Its easy to blame the sociopath and never look for the truth. My own therapist doesn't believe me she wants me under constant observation. But, they framed me, they made a killer look like a killer. JOSIE Sophie would never do that. MORGAN And I would? JOSIE Frankly, I think so. MORGAN I am trying to change myself. I am trying very hard to be a better person. I have new medications and the doctors....they think maybe I'll finally get better this time. JOSIE Why should I care about your mental health, why is that crap my problem? MORGAN Because you are making me very angry. It....its bad…I don't feel good and you don't trust me. Why would you trust me? Why would anyone trust me? I know I'm a bad person, I've done horrible things, but I swear I did not hurt Sophie. I've been swearing every day since it happened and no one believes me. JOSIE I wouldn't put it past a lunatic like you. MORGAN What did you call me? JOSIE A lunatic, exactly what you are. You are a lunatic, and I don't think your services are nee- Morgan dives across the desk, tackling Josie out her chair and mounting her with ferocity on her face. JOSIE Get off- MORGAN Shhhhhh. Shhhhh. Morgan covers Josie's mouth with her hands. JOSIE MMMFMFF MORGAN This might burn just a tiny bit. ZAAAAAAAAAAAP JOSIE AHHHHHHHHHHH!FADE OUT LATER TONIGHT HEY NOW MY BOYFRIEND'S BACKBOHEMOTH AND JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN VS SPENCER REIGER AND LORELEI DECENZOTONIGHT! BUT NEXT! VOODOO SNAKESLOS CONQUISTADORS VS THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRASNEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 We’re taken to a mystical land far away from the confines of modern man. A castle fit for a queen with a myriad of servants and the finest of dishes sitting on a royal table. At the head of this extravagance is…AMY ADAMS whooops I meant QUEEN ESTHER At her side are….LUCIUS SOULRICO DE JANERIO QUEEN ESTHER Hello, all! A very big welcome to the Queen’s Court! Joining the queen today is her white knight Rico and her black Lucius! Its wonderful that you both were able to make it today. SOUL I heard that. Pimpin ain’t easy and neither is flying United, yuck mouth monkeys got my flight delayed and tried to tell the boy he couldn’t bring his pimp cane on aboard cause his pimpin is too real and too raw for United. RICO Hey, mang, Rico gots the same problem, mang. They don’t Rico getting on their “Hair Pains” cause they pornstache and leading man good looks would start a riot with jealous men tryin to make me deceased and women tryin to touch earth on heaven, mang. QUEEN ESTHER We had an excellent time in Montreal and we want to say Merci Beaucoup to everyone who made it such a magical trip. I almost want to sing. I think I will sing! Mooooontreal in the moooooonlight, please make my dreams briiiiiight, tell the sun to set, because night is all we have left. That’s just verse one of my operatic symphony, I just loved Montreal so much I had to put it to music. RICO Montreal is where we seen bad oranges, that leave bad taste in mouth. QUEEN ESTHER You must be talking about Citizen Soldiers! What awful, horrible people they are, promoting the use of spiked clubs. They almost ruined the whole night! Thank god you had the decency to strike them down with my crystal wand, Rico. RICO Hey mang, I just give them the thing that they got comin. SOUL If they was real hoods then they wouldn’t need no spiked club, they just throw grown man hands. But they ain’t grown men, they grown bitches. QUEEN ESTHER Thankfully The Last Kings of Scotland saved the day by battling back Citizen Soldiers. If it weren’t for those dashing heroes, we might all be dead by now. I shudder at the thought! RICO Scott and Danny Boy is cool guys in Rico’s books. They are as good as the gold. QUEEN ESTHER I’m glad you said that! Very glad! I think The Last Kings are wonderful people, and the world would be a lot better off if more people were like them. They truly are worthy of the royal treatment, and we’ve all decided that royal blood should always stay royal blood and that’s why I’m happy to announce the brand new alliance between the Hellfire club and The Last Kings of Scotland. Danny Boy and Scottish Scott walk onto the scene, with Scott threatening the poor servants with his club. DANNY Aye, it is a pleasure. Thanks fer ye assistin in our match. When ye helped us out we knew to throw our lot in with ye. Aside from being great people, yer also hell of a drinker, eh. We’ll find some good pubs ‘round here, get a pint and start a fight. What do ye say Rico and Lucius. SOUL Soon as the police give me back my pimp cane, I’m gonna be right down there smashin skulls in with you. SCOTT This little message goes out to Citizen Soldiers, it does. Ye lost the battle and ye bout to lose the war, cause we got backup that’d kick the dandruff of yer nappers, they would. Give up now and do ye selves a favor. QUEEN ESTHER This is incredibly exciting! I can not wait to see what adventures we’re going to have in our magic kingdom! We’re out of time which is sad, but you peasants out there after a long hard day of backbreaking labor, you can know that the Queen’s Court is always making the world a better place.COMING MAY 31stBIG EASY STYLESCHOOL'S OUTNEW ORLEANS, LACOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 BIFF I'm telling you, superpowers are the only rational explanation! A fine place to pick up any conversation! Especially one involving Biff Atlas and Vinny Valentine. Checking himself out in his glittered out mirror, Vinny tries to get himself ready with Biff's idiocy surrounding him. Biff sits staring at his hands and arms as if they'd just magically appeared from out of nowhere. VINNY Would you zip it already? BIFF Zip it? Don't you think this is pretty important? All this time I've been in fear of my life, I didn't realise I had these powers. Unless I got the powers somehow during the past few months and it's only just manifesting itself. Maybe it was that seedy motel we stayed at. One of those beetles that crawled over my bed and sent me into a panic attack, maybe it was radioactive. Slamming his brush down, Vinny pulls himself away from his reflection. VINNY Radioactive beetles? Is your wig crooked or somethin'? BIFF Vinny, I can feel it, I've got superpowers. I know it. Now I just need to figure out what they actually are. VINNY If you had superpowers, you'd know what they are! BIFF Not neccessarily. It all happened in such a flash that I didn't really learn anything. I keep replaying it over and over in my head trying to figure it out, but nothing. VINNY And I keep tellin' ya, you ain't got no superpowers doofus! Now get to steppin' funky cat, we got ourselves a battle royal to win. Less talk, more action. Not convinced Biff exits the room still deep in thought, Vinny sighing, taking one last look in the mirror and winking at his reflection before following after his partner. Back in the arena, a wealth of flickering and flashing spotlights that alternate between entirely red and entirely white blast their way across the entrance stage. The lights on the floor then turn blue cutting through a thin haze that fills the stage. Stepping out of the entrance, Spencer Reiger MAKES IT RAIN, producing Lorelei DeCenzo and her money shower entrance. Hooked arm in arm Spencer and Lorelei walk to the ring, cloaked by a bright white spotlight to contrast the flashing blue and red "SR" shaped illuminations on the entrance ramp. BUFFER This contest is an intergender tag team match, scheduled for one fall and in this match the male and female competitors can only be legally in the ring against one another. Introducing team number one. Representing THE ENTERPRISE! First, from Los Angeles, California, she is "THE MONEY HONEY"... LORELEI DEEEEECCEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOO!!! And her tag team partner is from Manhatten, New York... "THE ONE MAN TRIPLE THREAT"... SSSPPEEEENNCCEEEEEERRRRR... RRREEEEEEIIIIGGEEERRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Spencer holds the ropes open for Lorelei like a true gentleman, ignoring the fact that he'd just insulted a young fan on the way to in the ring which isn't so gentlemanly. COLE Even at half-strength, the LDC Moneygang still getting themselves into trouble with that cocksure attitude of their's. Helped in no small part by Lorelei. One foot on the top rope, Spencer pulls away his Ed Hardy hoodie and gives the crowd a good view of his abdominals. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" Interrupting the 'Spencer Show', "When I Grow Up" hits. Not with her usual pep and pizazz, it's SERIOUS Jade who makes her way out. Scowling she marches down the aisle with her eyes locked on a not exactly scared Lorelei. She and Spencer mock Jade's determination by pretending to shake in their boots. BUFFER And introducing their opponents, first residing in Los Angeles, California, a former OAOAST Women's Champion, she is "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJAAAAAAAADDEEEE RROOODDEEEZZZZZ - DDUUUUUNNCCAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Of course, Jade isn't scary... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" But Jade's partner is a different story altogether. And with the Louisville crowd going wild Bohemoth marches to the ring, passing by his partner and jogging up the steps which has a very real effect on Spencer who bails. BUFFER And her tag team partner... hails from Greenville, South Carolina and weighs two hundred, eighty four pounds. He is the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth climbs the turnbuckles and shows off what he's got, putting Spencer to shame somewhat. COLE When Lorelei had the temerity to talk down to Sophie and friends earlier tonight, I'm sure she wasn't expecting a very frustrated Jade to bite back. And she and Spencer definately weren't expecting Bohemoth to be looking out for Jade when they made this challenge. COACH Well, let's be honest, you don't expect Bohemoth to be looking at Jade at all really. Talk about your odd couples. COLE I think they make a great couple. COACH So in your world, odd equals great. Makes sense to me. *DINGDINGDING!* Spencer and Lorelei talk things over on the outside as Bohemoth convinces Jade that he's going to start. Couple or not, Bo's not the kind of guy you argue with once the bell's rung. Sizing this up Spencer psyches himself up, ignoring the abuse he's getting from the crowd. But when Spencer slides into the ring, he has second thoughts and before a lock-up can occur he turns around and tags Lorelei. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That will force a tag on the opposite side as it's the men versus the men, women versus the women in this one. Spencer using that rule to his advantage. Reluctant to get out, Bo finds Jade far from reluctant as she calls for the obligatory tag. Once in, Jade stomps right at Lorelei and before she knows what's happening Lorelei finds herself taken off her feet and under a barrage of wild slaps!! COLE Oh yeah! Look at Jade go! COACH Take a long look at this Bo, you put a ring on that finger you're gonna be on the recieving end of that temper real soon. Run. Run while ya still can homeboy! Lorelei kicks her way out from underneath Jade and scrambles back to her feet. Teeth gritted, Jade chases right after Lorelei and grabs two handfuls of hair, sending Lori spinning over to the mat! Lorelei gets back up shrieking at the injustice and ends up getting flung over by the hair a second time! COLE I guess Lorelei picked the wrong day to get the cheerleader angry, huh? Scrambling up again Lorelei does a quick u-turn, slapping Spencer on the chest and getting out of the ring! COLE And Lorelei wanting no more of Jade, handing control right back to Spencer. Not looking too thrilled with being the legal man again all of a sudden, Spencer turns around and questions Lorelei on what she's doing. Back turned to the ring he doesn't realise Bohemoth is now in and standing right behind him. Not until Bo spins him around and brings him into the ring the hard way with a big hiptoss! Spencer quickly rolls away and begs off, with little success as Bo pulls him back up, whipping him to the corner and laying in a clothesline. Bohemoth then PRESSES New York's Finest over his head, dumping him to the mat with a slam. COLE Things are really not going the way of The Enterprise so far! Off the ropes Bohemoth charges into Reiger with a shoulder block, connecting with enough force to send Spencer head over heels and out between the bottom and middle ropes to the arena floor! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Not going their way whatsoever! COACH Well you can't blame them, with these crazy rules about tagging in and out when it's guys and when it's gals, they can't get any rhythm going. COLE Except they're the only ones who are making the tags. Spencer is attended to by Lorelei on the outside, while Bohemoth flexes his muscles. Which draws a smile from Jade for the first time in the match. Dusted off and refocused, Spencer's stalling for time doesn't go down well with the Louisville crowd but it does stop any momentum that had been building against him. Reiger carefully gets back into the ring, backing away from Bo as he approaches and ducking through the ropes insisting his opponent be kept back. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" The Enterprise duo try to convince the crowd to quieten down as Spencer emerges from between the ropes. Back on an even playing field Spencer and Bohemoth lock up and a quick knee from Spencer catches Bo by surprise. COACH That's more like it. Brains over brawn. Reiger strikes Bo across the neck with forearms before looking for an irish whip. Reversal sends Reiger to the ropes, ducking underneath a clothesline. Building up speed Spencer leaves his feet but gets caught in Bohemoth's arms like a child! Bearhugging Spencer, Bo lets him go, near the ropes causing Spencer to rebound back into a flooring clothesline. COLE That was more a case of brawn over brains. Infact, Spencer's brains might be scrambled now. Shaken up, Spencer walks into a Big Boot to the face and is covered... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth shakes Spencer up some more with some right hands, backing him into a corner. Irish whip sends Spencer across the ring and as he bounces out of the opposite corner, Bo follows in with another clothesline, sending him right back into the turnbuckles. COLE Spencer getting the pinball treatment, he's being bounced from pillar to post by the AngleMania main-eventer Bohemoth. You think he'll advise Lorelei to keep her mouth shut in the future? Staggering out of the corner Spencer flops to his knees and then onto his face, looking about ready to bail on this one. Bohemoth grabs hold of the board shorts to keep him from going anywhere and brings him back to his feet. Lifting Spencer off his feet, Bo delivers a Sidewalk Slam. 1... 2... No! COLE Jade looking on as her man is in control. COACH Looks to me like she'd got a case of the wandering eye. Maybe she's thinking about that offer Spencer made her earlier. COLE Oh please. A hard right hand sends Reiger retreating into a corner, the ropes holding him up. Bohemoth moves the referee out of his path as he moves to the opposite corner of the ring, getting a run up on his opponent. But Reiger is given too much time to recover and as Bo throws his boot up for a Yazuka in the corner, Spencer dodges out of the way and watches Bo gets crotched up on the top rope! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" With Bo still hung up Spencer quickly exits to the apron, running across and connecting with the enziguri to the back of Bohemoth's neck!! COLE Spencer finally catching a break and then catching Bohemoth with that pinpoint kick of his! As Bohemoth pulls himself off the ropes, Spencer brings him down to the mat stacking him on his shoulders... 1... 2... Kickout! Now he's got the advantage Spencer decides he can afford to taunt Jade, blowing her a kiss. Already in a foul mood that's enough to draw Jade into the ring, which results in free chance for Spencer to blatantly choke Bohemoth on the mat. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Way to help out your man Jade. Great job. Reiger breaks up the choke by the time the referee has put Jade back out. Standing on Bohemoth's face, The One Man Triple Threat keeps the head placed so he can pull down his right kneepad and drive down with a measured kneedrop. Bo grabs his temple as he's pinned down... 1... 2... No! Slapping on a rear chinlock Spencer boasts that he's "got him now". COLE Spencer finally having things go his way here against Bohemoth. And both of these men set to be involved in that huge Money In The Bank Ladder Match in almost two weeks time at School's Out. Bohemoth begins to fight his way up, so Spencer tries to re-adjust to keep his man down. Unfortunately he ends up sitting on the back of Bohemoth's head and pretty soon is being lifted up off the mat as Bohemoth stands up with Spencer on his shoulders! Realising he's in trouble Spencer scrambles his way out of the electric chair before he gets frazzled. Bohemoth takes a big swing at him, but Reiger ducks the line. After kicking at Bo's knee Spencer then scores with a quick DDT and goes for the cover... 1... 2... No! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Stomping away, Spencer stops to berate the crowd. When he turns back around, Bo is up to one knee and socks Spencer in the face with a hard right hand! COLE Oh, that one rocked Reiger! Stumbling to his corner Spencer stretches his hand out for a tag but Lorelei waves him away and encourages him to get back on Bohemoth. Which he does, cutting Bo off from the tag to Jade by dropkicking away his knee. COLE Spencer looking a little shaky but her partner hardly eager to tag in. COACH Why would she want a tag? If she tags in, that means Bohemoth is automatically out, what good would that do? COLE Well it'd also mean Lorelei would have to come in against Jade which I suspect was her more pressing concern. Dragging Bohemoth away from the corner Spencer tries to hook him up in a sleeper. Bo elbows his way free in a hurry, catching Spencer in the jaw with a final elbow that sends him reeling again. Spencer finds himself in his opponent's corner and sees Bohemoth up ready to tag... so turns around AND SHOVES JADE OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!! COLE HEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei applauds her man for preventing the tag, dastardly as it was. Giving her the 'okay' signal Spencer then runs out of the corner AND INTO A FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! COLE BOOM! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Wild eyes, surveying the crowd Bohemoth already knows the answer. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Here we go! COACH Aw no! Bohemoth watches as Spencer staggers to his feet... but close enough to his corner that Lorelei can lean in and tag herself in. COLE Wait, tag was made and the referee has seen it. Dropping from the apron, Lorelei quickly runs around and goes after Jade who's still picking herself up on the floor. The momentary distraction of the tag takes Bohemoth's mind off of the kill and allows Spencer to surprise him with the NEW YORK KNOCKOUT! COLE Ooh! That inverted bulldog, bringing Bohemoth right down on the back of his head. What a resourceful move by Spencer. COACH And now Lorelei is legal, which means so is Jade! I love it. Spencer rolls Bohemoth out of the ring while Lorelei throws Jade in, taking over the match. The Money Honey picks Jade up to her feet, putting her in the corner and driving her shoulder into the lower back with repeateded shoulder thrusts until the referee intervenes. After leaving the Tramp Stamp on her, Lorelei grabs Jade by the hair to pull her down from the corner, going for the cover... 1... 2... No! Getting on the referee's case Lorelei demands a faster count next time. She then gives something for the ref to count, by mounting Jade and connecting with cross punches to the face! COLE Lorelei is just vicious here! COACH She said she was gonna send a message. Not many better ways to do it than by punching someone in the face, if you ask me. Holding back once the ref gets to five, Lorelei drags Jade off the mat by her hair. Lorelei then hooks Jade up, dropping her gut first across the knee with a Uranage Gutbuster! Treating Jade with total disdain Lori shoves Jade from her knee and applies the cover... 1... 2... KIckout! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Lorelei scowls at the crowd as Jade tries to fight to her feet. On the outside, Spencer keeps Bohemoth busy. Waiting for Jade to get back up Lorelei glares a hole through her opponent. A hard kick doubles Jade over. Lorelei then sets up looking for her Fisherman's Buster... but experiences a Cash Flow problem as Jade floats over the back and lands on her feet! COLE Escape by Jade and now she's fixing to kick some ass! Cussing under her breath Lorelei turns around and Jade paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360 and knocks Lorelei down with a big clothesline! COLE And would you LOOK at Jade, she is ALL fired up! Jade growls under breath waiting for Lorelei to get back to her feet. Returning the favour from earlier Jade grabs hold of Lorelei's hair and uses it to guide her back into a corner where she climbs to the middle rope. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" COLE The former Women's Champion laying in with those punches for the woman responsible for Morgan Nerdly's pursuit of her. COACH That's her only friend you're talking about! Hooking Lorelei up in a cobra clutch, Jade can't get her next move away as The Money Honey backs up, crushing Jade into the turnbuckles. Lorelei whips Jade to the opposite corner and charges, but Jade gets her zebra striped shoes up into the face! Going up to the middle rope again, Jade pulls Lori down with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! Jade hops right back up and hits the ropes... ...AND GETS TRIPPED FROM THE OUTSIDE! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, real big man Spencer Reiger! Reiger quickly gets his comeuppance though as Bohemoth delivers a YAKUZA KICK, folding Spencer back against the ring apron! COLE And that's no more than Reiger deserved! Meanwhile in the ring, Lorelei stalks Little Miss California. Loading up, she aims with a lariat... DUCKED... and Lorelei slams on the brakes as she almost runs into Bohemoth on the apron. Lorelei begs off from The Meterosexual Monster, who gives her the THUMBS DOWN~! And right on cue, Jade grabs Lorelei from behind and GETS IT FROM HER MOMMA with the reverse x-factor!! COLE Lorelei DeCenzo just ate her words! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and BBOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade and Bo share a congratulatory hug before their hands are raised in victory. Rolled out of the ring, a groggy Lorelei falls into the arms of Spencer, who looks pretty groggy in his own right but does his best to help his Money Honey to the back. Bohemoth leans over the ropes and dares Spencer to come back for some more, but it's clear he and Lorelei have had all they can handle for the night and then some. COLE Chalk up and victory for Jademoth! COACH Jademoth? Really? COLE And perhaps, perhaps, here's hoping, Lorelei DeCenzo and Spencer Reiger might be a little more careful in the future before they open their mouths. Because they got exactly what they deserved here tonight from Jade and Bohemoth. Now he's out of range Spencer's bravado comes back and he vows revenge on Bohemoth from the safety of the stage. Bohemoth raises Jade's hand in the ring, causing her to blush shyly and tell her boyfriend to knock it off. COLE And a bright spot in what has undoubtedly been a rough couple of weeks for Jade, she can enjoy this victory here tonight that's for sure. But who will be victorious later on in our Battle Royal to determine the final spot in Money In The Bank? Bohemoth will be there, so too will Spencer Reiger, who else will be? We'll find out tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 COLE Ladies and gentlemen, KTLA of Los Angeles recently caught up with Krista Isadora Duncan at her “FIT with KID” gym in Santa Monica. Let’s see what the one and only and not beyond stupid Miss California had to say.COURTESEY KTLA We’re taken to Krista’s luxurious ultra modern, incredibly chic gym in Santa Monica. Krista stands with Alix at her side, and in the background Shayne and Tyler can be seen working to exhaustion to clean off weight machines. REPORTER So, Krista why don’t you tell us what this big event is all about? KRISTA This is “KID for Kids fitness”, and what that is we take groups of students from the inner city and basically teach them fitness, exercise and proper nutrition in a fun way. Its similar to what I do with my maids, only I won’t be launching bottle rockets at these kids. ALIX At leas not until they turn 16. REPORTER So what do you think they’ll take away from this program? ALIX They better not take the lead paint in the janitor’s closet, how else will I feed myself when Krista locks me in. KRISTA Hopefully they’ll take away techniques that they can use to keep themselves healthy and trim through out their life and into adulthood. Plus it fills Alix’s community service requirement. ALIX I’m only here to recruit soldiers for my new death metal outfit “Satan’s Cradle” We have a jug! Jug-jug-jug-jug-jug! REPORTER Looks like you have some hard working people over here? KRISTA I do? (Krista looks back at D*LUX) Oh honey, that’s just Shayne and Tyler. We don’t like to call them people, it might cause them to have independent thoughts. Anything beyond “Do what Krista says” is a recipe for brain cancer. ALIX True story, b. Like, one of them thought he could step out for lunch, as soon as he had that thought he had a seizure. We, like, tucked him inside the towel hamper so he wouldn’t scare important people, like the homeless man who like often wanders in here to like expose himself and stuff. I love Crazy Jimmy, he’s soooo cool. KRISTA Someone clearly has to make this place nice and tidy and if we can do our part to help these slow and simple minded gents from walking into traffic, falling into open manhole covers and even just sticking forks into open powerlines, then gosh darn it, honey, we’re going to do it for a tax write off! REPORTER Didn’t they wrestle for the OAOAST? ALIX Yeah, they did! But, like, they got totally murdered by these guys, I think of em was the Spanish dude from Oz, and anyway they looked like Lincoln after he got assassinated by a booth, which is odd because booth’s don’t have the right to bear arms. Any skittle , they lost baaaaad, but maybe they can win at life by cleaning Roseanne’s sweat after 5 sets on the BUTT blaster. KRISTA Considering that the OAOAST and wrestling in general serves only to rot the feeble mind of America’s working class, we all thought maybe we can give back to those people whose brains they destroyed. REPORTER Sounds wonderful! Thanks so much for your time. COLE (O.S.) OAOAST Cameras caught this shocking development after KTLA’s cameras stopped rolling. KRISTA (to D*LUX) Oh boys! D*LUX put down their windex bottles and quickly scurry over to Krista like loyal young puppies. KRISTA I need you to sign something. SHAYNE Sign what? KIRSTA Oh honey its nothing big like signing your collection of New Kids on the Block autographed posters. I just need you to sign this proof of work so Krissy can get a sweet tax write off. And also- Without waiting for Krista to finish her sentence the boys happily write down their John Hancock. KRISTA You honestly should have let me finish my sentence. But because you were so eager to scribble down your chicken scratch, I have the honor and pleasure of saying “You’re having a match next week. Against each other” Best of luck, kids. Krista walks away and D*LUX is frozen in place, flabbergasted that they feel for a trick they invented!COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 COLE Folks, we apologize, we've had some technical difficulties here...let me run things down here, a 20-man battle royal was announced to determine the 8th and final spot in the Money in the Bank match at School's Out...we are now down to seven men! We've got Mr. Dick and Thunderkid, representing the Deadly Alliance, Nathaniel Black from Cucaracha Internacional, Christian Wright of the Enterprise, Denzel Spencer in there, one half of the World tag team champs, Charlie Moss, and The Current Big Thing, Brock Ausstin! TK hammers away on Spencer in a corner, then stands over him and taunts into the camera. Brock Ausstin comes from behind and grabs him by the hair. TK Oh shi... Brock also has the head of Christian Wright, and rams the two heads together! COLE And the ol' double noggin' knocker! Moss mounts the ropes and slugs away on Black, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! Wright comes to and delivers a double axhandle to Moss from behind, but Moss is able to keep his balance, then climbs down as Wright, thinking Moss is out, celebrates his feat. Moss taps him on the shoulder, then delivers a right hand as he turns around! COACH Look at that cheap shot! Moss continues to fire off on Wright, then delivers a right to Mr. Dick, but Black hammers him from behind, and he and Wright try to dump Moss. COACH Moss could be in trouble here! As Moss tries to hang on, he grabs Black in a headscissors, and both men hover over the top rope. COLE But look at that smart move, and now Nathaniel Black in trouble! Spencer joins in, trying to force Black over, as Mr. Dick and TK do the same to Moss. Brock comes up from behind, and dumps TK over the top of Moss to the floor! COLE And Thunderkid has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Thunderkid eliminated by: Brock Ausstin remaining: Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Christian Wright, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TK grabs Moss on his way down, pulling Moss and Black to the apron. Denzel and MD both push with their feet as Brock hammers from over the top rope, and ultimately Black and Moss are both forced to the floor! COACH There they go! COLE Two guys out right there, Charlie Moss and Nathaniel Black, gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Charlie Moss, Nathaniel Black eliminated by: Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick remaining: Brock Ausstin, Christian Wright, Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And we're down to four! Brock Ausstin and Denzel Spencer! Mr. Dick and Christian Wright! Wright rakes the face of Spencer, then drops him throat-first across the top rope! Wright then joins MD in working over Brock. They back Brock into a corner, and Mr. Dick steps through to the apron and grabs Brock around the throat as Wright lays in shots to the midsection. COACH And it looks like CW and MD have formed a pact to get rid of the big man! CW and MD bring Brock out of the corner, and whip him into the ropes. Brock ducks a double clothesline, and delivers one of his own! Brock grabs CW, and whips him into the ropes, pressing him into the air and letting him drop to the mat! COACH Oh no! COLE A long way down for Christian Wright! Brock yells out to the crowd, then whips MD into a corner, and charges...but MD moves out of the way! Brock staggers backwards, and CW takes him down with a neckbreaker! MD then stands in the corner as CW climbs to the top rope. They wait for Brock to get to his feet, then MD tosses CW at Brock...but Brock catches him, stumbling backwards into the ropes, and dumps him to the floor! COLE What a move by Brock Ausstin, and Christian Wright is gone! Brock stops for a second to catch his breath, only to be sent over the ropes by a knee to the back from Mr. Dick, who then shoves him to the floor! COLE And Brock takes his eye off the ball, and now he's gone! We're down to two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Christian Wright eliminated by: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Mr. Dick remaining: Denzel Spencer, Mr. Dick ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mr. Dick spots Denzel pulling himself up in the corner, and gets a smile on his face. COACH Yeah, let's go Dick! This'll be like shooting fish in a barrel! MD grabs a hold of Denzel, but Denzel starts firing off right hands! COLE But look at Denzel fight! Denzel spins MD around into the corner, and fires away with chops and kicks, then springs off the ropes with a knee to the face! COLE Big knee from Denzel! Denzel then whips Mr. Dick across, and goes for a handspring elbow, but MD moves out of the way, then executes the COCK SHOCK~! COACH That's it! No more playing around! COLE One of the trademark moves from Mr. Dick, that inverted atomic drop followed by a lariat, he calls it the Cock Shock! Mr. Dick begins to play to the crowd, telling them it's over, then picks up Denzel. He goes to throw him out...but Denzel reverses, and TOSSES MR. DICK TO THE FLOOR! COACH WHAT?!? COLE HE'S OUT! It's over! Denzel wins! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ eliminated: Mr. Dick eliminated by: Denzel Spencer WINNER: Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFERLadies and gentlemen...the winner of the battle royal...DENZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! Denzel drops to his knees as the referee raises his hand, while Mr. Dick looks on in disbelief. COACH I can't believe this! COLE Well, you better believe it! Denzel Spencer is going to compete in Money in the Bank! Denzel poses on the buckles, as Mr. Dick walks back up the aisle in a huff. COLE Maybe, Mr. Dick will take his opposition a little more seriously in the future! Good night, everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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