Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLTCXZbCNFU The crowd is alive and we're live on the air. Michael Cole and Da Coach down near the masses at Sofa Central. COLE Live from the Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando, Florida, welcome to the longest running episodic series in parody e-fed history! This is OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole joined as always by Da Coach. Plenty in store for you tonight and all the build-up to next week's Spectacular event in Montreal. But the OAOAST world is still in shock after what happened at the end of last week's show as we went off the air. One of the most unexpected and unsettling things we may have ever seen on this broadcast. As we take you back to last week, it was Mister Dick and Reject taking on Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez in our main event. And what started as an unassuming tag team match lead to a situation that no-one saw coming.Rodez can’t capitalize on his lethal strike, however, due to Mister Dick hammering his back with clubbing forearms. Weakening Leon with his powerful blows, Mister Dick is able to grab him into a Full Nelson to set up the pure penetration. But Rodez uses all the strength in his body to push himself free of the hold. Without giving Mister Dick a chance to mount a new attack, Leon KO’s him with a beautiful enziguri. “LEON! LEON! LEON!” COLE These Atlanta OAOAST Marks are loving Leon Rodez right now! Trying to take Leon Rodez by surprise, Reject assumes the crouch for the deathly Eulogy. But he ends up being one left in shock and in misery as The Franchise connects with a School’s Out! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans shout, overjoyed at the impending victory. Although not the legal man, Malibu hooks the leg for a pivotal pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! NO THUNDERKID BREAKS IT UP WITH A CHAIR TO ZACK’S BACK! COLE Damn the Deadly Alliance! ThunderKid gets in two solid wacks on his fellow OAOAST Original Malibu before Leon, having been sent back to his corner, notices what's happened. And as he rushes to help Zack out, Thunderkid jabs the top of the chair into the ribs and then CRACKS him with the chair across the back! COLE This is ridiculous, The Deadly Alliance are trying to pick the In Crowd off one at a time! COACH No they're not! You think they care about Leon? He just got in the way, they're here for Zack! But before any more damage can be done to Zack he reaches up and grabs onto the chair in TK's hand from the mat. Pleased with the damage done to the world champion, TK lets the chair go free and quickly exits the ring. Before any harm can befall his best friend and leader, he pulls Reject out the ring. Mister Dick soon joins them, spitting at the downed In Crowders. “FUCK THE D-A! FUCK THE D-A! FUCK THE D-A!” “Don’t know what the distract attorney has to do with this!” ThunderKid shouts back and then laughes at his joke merely because no one else will. Mister Dick and Reject avoid the corny jokes and instead promise and end to Zack’s reign as they retreat up the ramp. COLE The In Crowd should have had this match won, but the Deadly Alliance refuses, absolutely refuses to accept defeat in any way, shape or form. Back in possession of the World Title belt, and now able to stand, Malibu leans over the ropes and holds the ultimate prize high into the air. His gesture and his words dare the Deadly Alliance to return to the ring and try to lay claim to his championship. Once he sees they have no wish to continue the fight, he dismisses them as cowards and turns to the crowd, raising the World Title belt in the air. COLE I tell you what Coach, it's going to take more than what the Deadly Alliance brought tonight to take that World Title away from Zack Malibu in Montreal! Mister Dick isn't going to win that title on a shoddy DQ, he's going to have to BEAT Zack Malibu, one on one. COACH And you say it like you don't expect it to happen. But we all know what happened at AngleMania. This is just the warm-ups, trust me, Mister Dick'll be ready for Montreal! Zack continues to play to the crowd as behind him, Leon gets back to one knee, cringing after the vicious chairshot he took. He glances over his shoulder to see Zack climbing the turnbuckles, checking that The Deadly Alliance aren't on their way back as he gets to his feet and picking up the steel chair just incase they want to. Climbing down off the ropes Zack walks towards the middle of the ring to check on Leon. And after a quick pat on the back to his friend he moves on to the next set of turnbuckles. Leon, clearly still hurting, stops in his tracks and stares. COLE This crowd in Atlanta showing their appreciation for the World's Heavyweight Champion. All eyes are on the World Champion. But the eyes that matter are Leon's. Not just hurt physically, his eyes look hurt as well. As Zack steps down off the ropes he parades to the crowd again. Almost as if Leon wasn't there. Not seeing the eyes narrow, as he looks at the World Champion. A look we never see from Leon. Contempt. For a moment he stares at Zack, stares as his best friend holds the OAOAST World Title over his head, the OAOAST World Title he won from him months earlier. Suddenly he looks down... and when his head titls back up, there's an altogether different look on Leon's face again. *CRACK* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Zack hits the deck from a savage chairshot to the spine, which he was completely unprepared for! COLE Wha... what the hell!? Throwing the chair aside Leon grabs a hold of Zack's legs before he knows what's happening to him, turning him over and dropping to one knee APPLYING THE LIONTAMER!!!! COLE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!? Zack screams in pain as Leon pulls back, twisting away on the spine with an angry, almost CRAZED look. Gasps are replaced by screams from the crowd as Zack clutches his face anguished, being tortured in the hold. Leon continues to pull and pull, releasing months of pent-up frustration. Referees hit the ring to try and put a stop to it, but they find Leon unable to be reasoned with and he looks straight past them, completely ignoring their presence as he continues to punish the World Champion, who slaps his hand against the mat in a vain attempt for it to be broken. The crowd are shocked and can barely bring themselves to boo, just watching stunned at what they're seeing. ZACK AHHHH!! AAAAHHHHHHH!!! Having been trapped in the hold for nearly thirty seconds by now Zack begins to lapse out of consciousness from the pain, while the referees resort to more physical tactics to try and get the hold broken. But they can't prise the arms apart. Wrestlers now hit the ring to help, not just wrestlers but friends. The Christ Air Express, Citizen Soldiers, even D*LUX. But Leon isn't listening to any of them. And Zack has faded, no longer tapping the mat, no longer able to. As Shayne and Tyler try to reason with Leon, he stares blankly right past them. At which point, Jade rushes to the ring. His own niece, who stands no more than two feet from his face, screaming at him to stop, pleading with him to let go. Completely blanked. Until finally Leon lets go of the hold. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Finally some of the crowd can bring themselves to boo Leon, as he lets go of the hold. All of the anger and all of the frustration has drained from his face. Now there's just a blank, cold stare. Staring straight ahead, as he brushes past his own niece as if she didn't even exist! The referees quickly check on Zack who groans groggily in pain. The wrestlers who had come down to help just watch Leon as he slowly and carefully leaves the ring and calmly walks to the back, as if oblivious to everything around him. He walks right past the camera tracking in front of him without once glancing down the lens and disappears through the curtain. Leaving a stunned crowd. Shocked friends. And Zack stricken in pain. With the World Title lying symbolically feet away from his anguished face. COLE Not to put too fine of a point on it, something which nobody thought we would ever see. I've known Leon Rodez for almost six years now and he is one of the nicest, good-hearted people you were ever likely to meet in this business. Always around with a smile or a joke or just a friendly hello. The OAOAST locker room has been in shock ever since last week, not to mention the OAOAST fans because the Leon Rodez you saw on television week in and week out was the Leon we all saw, the happy-go-lucky charismatic, easy-going Leon. And I don't think anyone can explain what happened. Out of character doesn't even begin to describe it, that was just something that Leon Rodez simply would NOT have done. Ever. But... something has changed and April 24th will go down as a dark day in OAOAST history. COACH Before we get the violins out and turn this into a complete funeral... COLE COACH ...I'm gonna jump in and agree. Leon wasn't that kinda guy. You and all these people and all the people in the back put that guy up on a pedestal as some kinda saint. Well the cracks have been showing in that pedestal and it all finally tumbled to the ground last week. And I'm real interested in seeing what Leon has to say for himself. COLE As are we all. But it doesn't look like we'll be hearing it tonight as Leon has not arrived at the arena tonight. We've got cameras back there incase he does. But I think the immediate issue now is what effect is this all going to have on Zack Malibu next week? How is he possibly going to be able to concentrate on defending the OAOAST World Title against Mister Dick, with the events of last week by his long-time friend weighing so heavily on his mind? How can he possibly "keep his focus", as Anglesault encouraged him to do? "Clean shirt New shoes And I dont know where I am goin to. Silk suit Black tie, I dont need a reason why. They come runnin just as fast as they can Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man." To a resounding chorus of boos, Christian Wright swaggers out from the entrance way with his trusty briefcase in hand and sharply dressed as the song would indicate. Wright turns his nose up at the fans as he adjusts his tie, making his way down the aisle and brushing away the attention of the fans and their outstretched hands. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first... representing THE ENTERPRISE! Now residing in Washington D.C. He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Setting down his briefcase in one corner of the ring, Christian rounds the ring another side and jumps onto the apron. Straightening out the lappels of his suit, the smug Financial Analyst makes the "money fingers" as a sign of his allegiance to The Enterprise before he steps into the ring. BUFFER And his opponent, from Tampa, Florida, JOHN JO JACKSON! The youngster raises a fist to the crowd. COLE This youngster one of Florida's finest, trying to make a step up tonight. COACH Eh, he's no Jo Jack Johnson. Christian carefully removes and folds his red jacket, as well as his white dress shirt and tie, setting them aside. COLE Well a little 'tune-up' here arranged by Theodore Moneymaker, trying to keep things ticking over for his Enterprise which has taken a fair few hits in recent months. *DINGDINGDING!* Locking up, Wright quickly takes his young opponent over to a corner and rocks him with a European uppercut. And a second. Opening him up, Wright then rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop, sending the kid scrambling for the other side of the ring holding his chest. COACH Christian looks all business tonight Michael. COLE Why do I get the feeling I've heard that pun before? Retrieving his opponent, Christian gives him a scoop slam and sets him in place with his boot pressed against the head, before leaping up and stomping down on the skull! Jackson uses the ropes to pull himself back up and regrets it when another European uppercut lands. COACH Anyway, what are you talking about The Enterprise like they're weak for? This is what it is, a defiant show of their dominance. Whipped to the ropes, Jackson is caught on the rebound with a hard back elbow, knocking him to the mat. Wright stalks around him and waits for Jackson to start getting up, hauling him up the rest of the way and delivering a Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... No! COLE Well it's not hard to look dominant against a rookie, a lesser opponent. COACH You can only beat what's in front of you. You'd know something about that surely. Taking his time Christian adjusts the tape on his wrist as he waits for Jackson to get back up. Once he is, CW charges across the ring looking for a clothesline, but the youngster surprises everybody by ducking underneath! Wright puts on the brakes and when he turns around, Jackson starts firing away with right hands! COLE This kid starting to show us something, showing some heart and determination. With Wright dazed Jackson runs the ropes... and gets caught with the WRIGHT OFF!!! COACH Heart and determination is no match for wealth and power. Ragdolled, Jackson is pulled to his feet. The kid can barely stand as Wright sets him up to deliver a STINGING Superkick, the sound of boot on flesh echoing around the arena to horrified gasps! Wright just dusts his hands in satisfaction as Jackson lays in a heap on the mat, KOed. COACH Christian kicking faces, The Moneygang taking names, Mister Moneymaker providing the backing. Face it, The Enterprise is as strong as ever, no matter how much you hope otherwise. COLE I think The Orange County Cobras would beg to differ. COACH Who cares? Picking Jackson up one more time Christian hooks him up for the finish. Elevated up, Jackson is then brought crashing back to earth face-first, experiencing the STOCKMARKET CRASH with as much suffering as a wallstreet banker. 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH Hear that? That's the sound of an Enterprise win. Kerching! Get used to it. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE NATURAL" CCHHHRRRIIIISSSTTIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRRIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a look of satisfaction Christian calmly leaves the ring, collecting up his briefcase and clothes as he strolls to the back. COLE A win for The Enterprise, but if you ask me it seemed like more of a diversion tactic. Moneymaker isn't going to be able to hide his problems away behind easy victories like this forever. COACH You are so negative, you know that?May 7th, 2009The Amazing French Canadian Spectacular Montreal, QuebecOAOAST World Title: Zack Malibu Vs Mister Dick OAOAST Women's title: Morgan Nerdly Vs Sophie Plus Much More! SOLD OUT! 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Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 "Right Round" by Flo Rida hits and whisked to the ring by her knights in shining armor, figuratively speaking of course, is Queen Esther. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing team #1, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! At a total combine weight of 446 pounds... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HHHEEEEELLLLFIRE CLUB!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Met with hostility Esther answers with kindness, waving to the not-so-adoring masses until she’s nearly struck by a cup of beer! QUEEN ESTHER RICO/LUCIUS COACH Whose bright idea was it to book tonight’s show at the Hard Rock, Cole? It’s no place for a queen! Just look around, we’re surrounded by drunks and horny frat boys. COLE (clears throat) It’s a lively atmosphere to be sure, like it‘ll be next week in Montreal for the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. “Citizen Soldier” by 3 Doors Down cues and the crowd explodes. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 485 pounds… TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" BW and Tim slap hands as the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club patiently await them in the ring. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN, the Citizen Soldiers issued a challenge to the Last Kings of Scotland for anytime, anywhere. COACH Right now let’s hear from Scottish Scott and Danny Boy, Mikey Cole, because they’re standing by with their answer. OAOASTDANNY BOY Oh, so it’s a fight ya Citizen Soldiers want, eh? Well a fight you’re gonna get. SCOTTISH SCOTT Your government warned of people like you, Baron Windels and Tim Cash. That’s why I always carry protection. :: raises spiked club:: You want us in the ring? Then we’re gonna do it the old Scottish way. First person to grab the club suspended on a pole can do whatever he sees fit. And I do mean whatever. DANNY BOY Like bash your bloody head in, or shove it where the sun don’t shine! SCOTTISH SCOTT/DANNY BOYHeldDOWN~! COLE That match, ladies and gentlemen, has been signed for next week at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COACH The Citizen Soldiers are fools, Mikey Cole. Fools. It’s like they say, you can never out drink an Irishman or out fight a Scotsman. I predict the Citizen Soldiers suffer an embarrassing defeat next week. Both teams removed their pre-match attire and Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro are then ready to kick things off for their respective teams. * DINGDINGDING * They lockup as the bell sounds and into a neutral corner they go, where surprisingly we get a clean break. NOT! Baron ducks a cheap shot and staggers Rico with a combination of roundhouses and Cowboy Bebop elbows, then wrings the arm and delivers a BOOMERANG LARIAT! COLE MySpace Comeback! The Citizen Soldiers tag and Tim Cash blasts the King of Mardi Gras with a MISSLE DROPKICK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Rico rakes the eyes and makes a tag. Double back elbow knocks Cash off his feet and Soul covers. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Soul whips Cash into the corner for a 360 STINGER SPLASH! COACH Soul Brother Splash~! Rather than go for the cover Soul struts while hand combing his afro. Once groomed to his liking he attempts a butterfly backbreaker…only to have Cash sit up and snap back into a HURRICARANA!! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Cash wrings the arm, snaps Soul over and then looks to apply THE CHUCK BERRY DUCK WALK, but a RUNNING HIGH KNEE from Rico de Janeiro puts an end to that, much to the delight of Queen Esther ringside. COACH I bet the Citizen Soldiers are regretting taking on this match a week before their showdown with the Last Kings of Scotland at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. COLE I doubt that very seriously. They’re a fighting team. Like the Orange County Cobras, LDC Moneygang, they too want a shot at the tag team championship. The MGHFC tag and Rico lays the boots to Cash, and then rams him into the buckle where a series of powerful shoulder thrusts follow. Instructed to allow Cash out of the corner Rico obliges, not out of respect for the rules but so Lucius Soul can CHOKE THE CITIZEN SOLDIER WITH QUEEN ESTHER’S WAND! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stroking his porn ‘stache in sinister fashion, Rico grabs Cash and plants him mid-ring with a gut wrench suplex. Lucius Soul receives the tag and attempts a TOP ROPE DIVING HEADBUTT…BUT NOBODY’S HOME! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" But wait! Soul’s giant afro cushioned the blow! Home boy dusts himself off and drops an elbow. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! At the Queen’s request, it’s time to put Cash away so Soul clamps his hands together and holds them against his ear. COACH Here it comes, Cole. Tim Cash about to Fro 2 Sleep. Just as he’s about to be draped across Soul’s shoulders, Cash floats over and locks on THE SLEEPER HOLD! COLE Do Not Resuscitate! A jawbreaker frees Soul and he tags out. “Who wants a moustache ride?” Rico asks. Not Tim Cash, he slips out and tags Baron, then nails Rico with an ENZIGURI~! On dream street Rico bumps into Baron Windels and a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT!! COLE What turn of events! Cash dropkicks Soul off the apron as Baron covers Rico. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS… THE CITIZEN SOOOOLDIERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Citizen Soldiers’ hands are raised in victory. COLE Impressive victory for the Citizen Soldiers as they head to Montreal for their showdown next week against the Last Kings of Scotland. Stay with us, we‘re coming right back!And now, a OAOAST Video Break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 BUFFERThe following contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring...from Lincoln, Nebraska, weighing in at 215 pounds...Paul Roberts! Roberts raises his hand to the crowd, as a man wearing a large tan overcoat and a bright orange winter cap drives down the aisleway in a mo-ped, which has a large burlap sack sitting in a basket on the back of it. COACH Who's this guy? The man parks the mo-ped at the front of the aisleway, then takes the key out, and climbs off, pulling a small baggie of Goldfish crackers from his pocket. BUFFERHis opponent...from Parts Unknown...weighing in at 230 pounds...DEADBEAT DAVE!!!!! COLE Deadbeat Dave is the man's name, apparently, and obviously this would be his debut here in the OAOAST! COACH This must be his pre-match meal or something here... Dave enters the ring by clrawling onto the apron and between the bottom and middle ropes, as if he's sneaking into someone's basement window. He then talks the official into holding his mo-ped key, before removing his coat and hat, revealing ripped-up blue jeans and a white sleeveless shirt with a big tear in the right side abdominal area. The referee then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Dave circles the ring with Roberts, who goes behind and grabs Dave in a hammerlock. Dave struggles in the hold, then looks behind him, and delivers an elbow to the face of Roberts. Roberts staggers into a corner, where Dave follows, hammering him with right hands and European uppercuts. Roberts sinks in the corner, and Dave stomps away until the referee backs him off. COLE And it's been all punch-kick from Deadbeat Dave so far, obviously an accomplished brawler! Dave picks up Roberts, and executes a scoop slam, then drops a knee to the sternum. COACH Deadbeat Dave really pacing himself here! Dave slowly backs into the ropes, and goes for an elbow, but Roberts rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home on that elbow! Roberts delivers right hands, then takes a step back, and executes a dropkick! COLE Great dropkick from Paul Roberts! Roberts then whips Dave into the ropes, and catches him with a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Roberts picks up Dave and whips him into a corner, then charges, but runs into the foot of Dave! COACH But he got caught! COLE A nice flurry by Paul Roberts, but stopped cold by that big boot! Dave measures Roberts from behind, then delivers a stiff clothesline! Dave then slowly picks up Roberts, and grabs him in a front facelock, then sets up a fisherman's suplex, lifting him up, then twisting him into a sitout driver! COACH Whoa! COLE What a move that was! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And Deadbeat Dave a winner in his OAOAST debut! BUFFERThe winner of the match...DEADBEAT DAVE!!!!! Dave retrieves his key from the official, then makes his way back to his mo-ped. COLE An impressive debut by Deadbeat Dave here on OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, I'm sure we'll be hearing more about him in the coming weeks! Right now, let's go to... UNEXPECTED VOICE-OVER GUY And now, for Internacional news, let's take you to our Internacional correspondant, Landon Maddix. Our video starts with Landon Maddix, stood in front of a green screen with the Cucaracha Internacional logo on it. MADDIX Thank you Chuck. Well ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Unity. Recently, people have been asking, where's the power in the OAOAST? What's the strongest force in the wrestling world. Is it the In Crowd with their World Title monopoly? Or is it The Deadly Alliance, the pretenders to the throne? Or how about The Enterprise with their financial clout? The answer is simple. See, to have power in the world, you've got to be... Internacional. The green screen changes to a globe and Landon produces a pointer from nowhere. Five countries flash up on the map behind him. MADDIX Five countries, five strongholds of wrestling. America, naturally. Canada. Samoa. England. And most importantly of all, Spain. It's a global stronghold, a worldwide unity. Where-as the rest? The map changes to an American one, with question marks dotted around. MADDIX Well to be honest, the other groups are so unstable, I can't even remember who's in and who's out anymore! Away goes the pointer and the map. MADDIX The fact is, between us, Cucaracha Internacional have got every tool and every attribute you need to succeed. We cut away from Landon, to video footage, complete with dubbed on buzzwords. MADDIXSPEEDHitting the ropes in front, Landon catches Heat on his way up, around the head with his left arm, swinging himself around the back and bringing him down from the right side with an inverted bulldog! MADDIXSTRENGTHReaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!! MADDIXINTENSITYStraight on the bell, O'Hara runs at Black who throws a clothesline. O'Hara manages to duck underneath, but Black turns on his heels and WALLOPS O'Hara with the Black Lariat, dumping him right on the back of his head!! MADDIXAGILITYOn the second rope he gets ready to take flight. However, Blonde reacts and grabs O'Hara's Nike trainer, dragging him off the ropes! The back of O'Hara's head bounces off the mat hard and he rolls away, ending up in position for Blonde to come off the ropes with the LIONSAULT!! MADDIX and a KILLER INSTINCTAs Alf tries to get to his feet, Cortez slides down, jumps on Alf's head...and executes the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111 MADDIX We're not just the best in the OAOAST. We're the best in the WORLD!Faqu with the HI-YAH World Title, Cortez after winning the US Title, Landon from his time as OAOAST World Champion. MADDIX And with all that in mind, the question is, who's going to stop us in our quest for Internacional domination? No-one, that's who! We've set out the challenge. Four on four, can anyone beat my men, my Internacional squad of talent? Projections from wrestling experts say, no, nobody can. We'll have more on this global uprising as it happens. I'm Landon Maddix. Back to Sofa Central. COLE What was that about? COACH Internacional news update. COLE ...cute. I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 THIS PAST WEEKEND ON OAOAST SYNDICATEDOne and only world tag team title ***Team Heyross Vs Los Conquesitadors *** The Mexican casted a voodoo spell on Moss as he climbed to top rope. His spell was a dismal failure as he missed the elbow drop... [Moss] wowed the crowd by strong arming Dos over the ropes with a powerbomb. Uno tried to right the ship by casting another voodoo spell but his spell caused referee Charles Robinson to foam at the mouth! Horrified he was rolled up into an easy pin by Moss.WINNER: TEAM HEYROSS, VIA PINFALL The OAOAST honored one its greats on Syndicated with a “Jersey Retiring” of Jamie O’Hara's jersey hosted by The Heavenly Rockers, Holly, and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. O’Hara’s favorite New York Knicks jersey, “stained with the years of tears cried after painful loss after painful loss as well as the knowledge he’ll never touch a woman without paying her” so said Logan, was raised into the rafters. Unfortunately it wasn’t hooked properly and feel back down the ground. “Just like O’Hara career, a flop!” Logan said to laughter from his gang. On hand to give the ceremonial speech was Tony Tourettes. The highlights of Tony’s speech were when he compared watching O’Hara to having a live chicken crammed into his urethra, and when he noted O’Hara was at home choking on Joe Biden’s morning shit.***Ken Pantera W/Vinny Valentine Vs Eskimo Kid*** The OAOVW superstar The Eskimo kid endured himself to the OAOAST Marks by handing out popsicles to those seated in the front row. Kan Pantera destroyed the good will by ripping the popsicles out the Marks’ hands and throwing them to the ground. Dastardly! Kid had a brief flurry of basic cruiserweight offense that gave him a glimmer of hope. But that hope was easily snuffed out by a bear hug from Pantera, who got the submission.WINNNER: Ken Pantera, via submission On the weeks edition of Queen’s Court….wait that’s the first ever edition of Queen’s Court I guess I gotta explain it. blahblahblahblahblahblahblah its a news show summarizing and discussing the current events in the OAOAST. This week Queen Esther and the Hellfire Club explored the stunning attack Leon Rodez did to his long time friend Zack Malibu. Lucius Soul did not not see the big deal, saying he pulled a gun on his cousin once for cheating at a dice game and he grabbed his mother by her weave and tossed her out the house when she question his involvement in the pimp game. Rico believed Zack got what he had coming to him, as he had taken advantage of Leon’s friendship for too long. Esther did not approve at all! Her belief was that friends were the most magical gift of all, and turning on them was like the sun turning on the moon. She even told a fairy tale of two Princes who wanted to court the fair queen in grammar school. Each day they would compete for her affections, first as friends, then as foes. Unable to stomach breaking up a friendship Queen Esther sent them both roses from her and told them to meet her at an assigned location. When they got there she sprung on them and forced them to kiss and now they live happily ever after in a flat in London. United States Title ***Todd Cortez Vs CPA W/Detective Bosley*** Cortez...hit a suplex that might have gotten three if Bosley hadn’t put CPA’s foot on the ropes. Cortez kept on the advantage hiting a bulldog and blocking CPA’s gigaton punch attempt with a belly to belly suplex. He came off the top with a cross body block but CPA caught him in set up for The Dominator. But, Cortez slid out the hold and struck gold with a Riot Act Plus. Bosley couldn’t get into the ring fast enough to stop the match ending 3 count.WINNER: Todd Cortez, via pinfall.THE REASON DVR'S WERE INVENTED CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS Backstage, we find a glum looking Jade Rodez-Duncan, sat much like she was last week on discarded production equipment, in lieu of actually chairs. It's not that I'm uncreative, she just knows there's no chairs. Anyway, either side of her sit Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant, also looking a little fed up. No prizes for guessing why. TYLER So you haven't spoken to him? JADE No. I mean I've tried like a hundred times and nothing, first he'd answer and then just hang up, now not even that. The boybanders shake their heads sadly. And then, suddenly, get over it. TYLER So... anyway, did you get a chance to ask Krista about our tag match idea? Jade looks at Tyler as if that were the last thing that should be on his mind. JADE Uhm... yeah, I did. They're not keen on it. Sorry. Disappointed to say the least, Tyler and Shayne glance at each other. SHAYNE Did you tell them how much we were looking forward to it? JADE Well... yeah, but... TYLER Maybe you didn't sell it to them right. SHAYNE Gotta sell it. Again, Jade sees this as one of the least of her concerns and is somewhat annoyed about it. JADE Look, I've kinda had other things on my mind guys, ya know? TYLER Oh no, we totally get it. We feel the same way. JADE I know you do. SHAYNE It's just, we were really looking forward to it. JADE I know you were. But you know how Mom is. Once she gets her mind made up about something, nobody could convince her otherwise. Including me. Like, even if Oprah said on her show "hey, you should all buy this book, this singer is fantastic, oh and D*LUX versus COD would be an awesome match", I don't even think that'd work! Realising the powers of persuasion that Oprah carries, D*LUX realise they're in a bad situation. JADE I'm sorry guys. TYLER It's cool. D*LUX begin to leave... but suddenly getting an idea, Tyler stops his tag partner and whispers something in his ear. Perking up, Shayne turns back to Jade with a smile. TYLER You still own part of our contract, right? JADE Yeah but if you want to take about re-negotiating, gotta warn you, Mom's talking about getting me my own lawyer. Some mothers just quietly disapprove of boyfriends. TYLER No, it's not that. If you still own part of the contract and you're still officially managing us, technically, doesn't that mean you can just sign off on the match for us? JADE You want me to go behind Mom's back!? TYLER No! No no no no! No! SHAYNE Well, yes. TYLER But only kinda. We're still gonna need them to sign a contract. So, you can sign it on behalf of us, then pass it off as something else. Krista'll see your signature on it, stick her's next to it and it's on! She probably won't even look at it for more than five seconds. You don't even have to lie, just kinda not tell her the whole story. Shocked, Jade stammers to answer for a few seconds. JADE ...NO! I can't do that! Mom'd kill me! TYLER Not if she doesn't find out. SHAYNE Which she will, you know, once she realises she's got a match with us and all. TYLER Yeah but that'll be weeks away. Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans, Tyler produces a contract. JADE You're really serious about this, aren't you? TYLER Look, if Krista finds out, just tell her it was our idea. JADE It is! TYLER Exactly. And she'll forgive you. SHAYNE Pleeease? Looking at the contract, Jade takes it from Tyler with clear reservations. JADE I'll try. But no promises. D*LUX are too busy fist-pumping to worry about promises, before they give Jade a group hug. They wish her "good luck" before taking off, leaving poor Jade to look at the contract again and panic about what she's about to attempt to do.COMING UP Hey, wait... Will the Heavenly Rockers have a new complaint? LOGAN MANN VS MARV of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 ::The camera shows a posh corner booth in what appears to be a nicely appointed restaurant. Tommy G. sits at a table with a drink and a cigar, the latter of which sits in an ashtray, a plume of smoke wafting into the air from its lit end:: "In my former business, I had to...strike from unseen positions. I had to take actions that sat on the fence of morality. I had to do what I had to do in order to get the job done. And while that's probably not the best term to use in my current business, the point is that I will reach my ends. And in the process, some will meet their end. This isn't a threat; it's a notification. I like to make things a little interesting. Unlike in my former business, I have a little room to makes things interesting. Back then, I'd just get it done. Now, I can add some intrigue to things before I make my move...before I strike from that unseen position. Call it a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Before I had to hide my identity. Not anymore. In this business, my Jekyll doesn't hide." ::A waiter arrives with a tray of food and places three dishes on the table. Tommy G. takes a fork and spears a piece of cauliflower, dipping it into a bowl and tasting it:: "You call this dipping sauce? You call this dipping sauce? This tastes like old soup!" ::Tommy G. gets up and gives the waiter a right hand. The waiter falls to the floor and Tommy G. stomps him a few times before storming off:: COACH I've been tempted to slug you a few times, Cole. COLE You're not the first person to tell me that. Right now let's head back up to the ring! The crowd rise to their feet as the intro to "Like The Angel" hits. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and nail a leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. The twin brothers then make their way down the aisle full of energy as ever. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Weighing one hundred, eighty five pounds... he is one half of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS... MMAAAAAARRRRRRRVVV!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV slides into the ring and leaps to the turnbuckles to encourage the crowd, MEL taking a slightly less energetic journey to the turnbuckles across the ring to join him. COLE Two weeks ago MEL was victorious in singles action against Synth, tonight it's the respective tag team partners in one on one action. And The Christ Air Express still fighting for the honour of their friend Jamie O'Hara, who was once again disrespected this past weekend by The Heavenly Rockers on our sister program Syndicated.The OAOAST honored one its greats on Syndicated with a “Jersey Retiring” of Jamie O’Hara's jersey hosted by The Heavenly Rockers, Holly, and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. O’Hara’s favorite New York Knicks jersey, “stained with the years of tears cried after painful loss after painful loss as well as the knowledge he’ll never touch a woman without paying her” so said Logan, was raised into the rafters. Unfortunately it wasn’t hooked properly and feel back down the ground. “Just like O’Hara career, a flop!” Logan said to laughter from his gang. On hand to give the ceremonial speech was Tony Tourettes. The highlights of Tony’s speech were when he compared watching O’Hara to having a live chicken crammed into his urethra, and when he noted O’Hara was at home choking on Joe Biden’s morning shit. Watching the footage on the AngleTron, MARV and Mel shake their heads. They're no happier to hear the intro to "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana, met by a chorus of boos by the crowd. With a cheshire cat grin on his face Logan Mann emerges first through the entrance with wife Holly on his arm, doing a triumphant 360 spin on the stage. Behind him follow Abdullah and Synth in solemn dignity. BUFFER And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by members of "the only rock n'wrestling band that matters", THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! From Las Vegas, Nevada... weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds... he is "THE MACHO MACHO MANN"... LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOGGAAAAAAANN... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan unzips his leather jacket, revealing why it looked such an odd-fit, with a New York Knicks jersey lying underneath. COLE Oh come on! COACH What? It's a throwback, people wear them to honour former greats who've disappeared into obscurity. It's a trend, you wouldn't get it. Once the leather jacket is off we see that sure enough, it's the same jersey that was "retired" by The Heavenly Rockers, with 'O'HARA' on the back and the fitting number "00" on the back, because he's a "real zero". MARV scowls at this show of disrespect and can't wait for the bell to ring. *DINGDINGDING!* With the match underway, Logan wisely loses the Knicks jersey, throwing it to a lucky fan in the crowd. Except that lucky fan happens to employed by the company and doing commentary. COACH Wow! What an honour! LOGAN You're welcome kid. Logan and MARV circle and lock up, with Logan grabbing a headlock. Meanwhile we get a shot of Coach admiring the jersey. COACH Oh, this is perfect! My car's needed to be washed for days now, this'll do great! COLE Your ca... come on Coach! You're as bad as they are! In the ring Logan gets shot off the ropes and comes back with a big shoulder tackle to knock MARV down. With a cry of "THANK YOU ORLANDOOoooo!" Logan comes off the ropes again, going up and over MARV. Leapfrog by MARV is navigated by Logan as well, but as he comes back off the ropes MARV surprises him with a quick hurricanrana takeover! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Rolling to his feet Logan runs right into an armdrag, which MARV hangs onto for an armbar. Before Logan can settle, that then turns into a quick crucifix, pulling Logan down onto his shoulders... 1... 2... No! Back up Logan regains control with a side headlock, but gets shot off to the ropes again. MARV drops down and wise to this, Logan puts on the brakes once he's safely over, pointing to his head. When Logan reaches down to pick MARV up though, the Canadian surprises him by flipping over and dragging him to the mat by the arm. COLE Woah! MARV, so quick! Rolling to his feet Logan moves away from the ropes, into a dropkick that sends him spilling back through them to the outside! COLE And Logan unable to keep up with it, to the outside and MARV is rolling! MARV plays to the crowd leaving The Heavenly Rockers' lead vocalist frustrated on the floor. Abdullah tries to calm him down with some spiritual wisdom, which Logan has no time for, shrugging Abdullah off and climbing back to the apron. Seconds later, he's back down as MARV dropkicks his legs away, causing Logan to smack face-first into the apron! Grabbing the top rope MARV follows up with another dropkick, through the ropes this time and landing one foot to the face of both Logan and Abdullah, who crash back into the barricade!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaning out of the ring, MARV gets a leaping high-five from MEL, while Synth and Holly run to the aid of their men. COACH How can these people cheer for spousal abuse like that!? COLE Spousal abuse is between a husband and wife you jackass! COACH Well brother on brother stuff. I don't know the correct term, I just know it ain't right! Mann is picked up with some help from Synth and frustrates as he is, wisely slows things down. Taking his time getting back in he insists on MARV being backed up first. "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" Back inside Logan and MARV go to lock up, not what Logan has in mind as he ducks low and backs MARV into a corner. MARV manages to shift himself around so that Logan's back is against the corner. Making the mistake of thinking he's avoided danger MARV gives a clean break and pays for it, Logan catching him with a boot to the gut. The fans jeer Logan's cheap tactics as he delivers right hands in the corner, then stomps MARV down into the turnbuckles until the referee pulls him away. COLE Logan a wily veteran, safe to say he knows all the tricks of the trade. Brought out of the corner, MARV is whipped to the ropes. Burying a right hand into the midsection, Logan doubles MARV up and sets up a running kneelift. Cover... 1... 2... No! Logan picks MARV back up and delivers a back suplex. Confident again The MACHO Macho Mann then shows off his biceps to howls of derision. COACH Wrestling show, rock show, gun show, Logan can do it all baby! When he doesn't get the reaction he wants, Logan skids past the referee and blatantly choking MARV. Breaking on three he stands up and rakes the flat of his boot across MARV's face, before trying the bicep pose again. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Those guns are loaded too. Logan still doesn't get a good reception, of course, but he's made his point. Backing off the ropes he plants a boot in the back of MARV's head as he tries to get up, then pins him down... 1... 2... Kickout. Standing back, Logan allows MARV to get back to his feet, stalking behind him. Once up MARV is caught in a sleeper by Logan! Laughing confidently Logan pulls back. After walking in search of the ropes a few paces MARV suddenly feels the effects and sinks down to one knee. ABDULLAH Pleasant dreams, demon seed! COLE Demon seed? What sort of a thing is that to call your adopted brother? COACH I once knew a kid in school called demon seed. COLE Really? COACH Well... Stephen Reed, but that's close, right? I'm contributing, yes? COLE You're an idiot. Spurred on by the crowd and the support of his brother... the real one, not the adopted one... MARV starts to try and fight. He clenches his fists and rallies up the crowd before standing back up from one knee. Just as the crowd start getting some encouragement though, Logan reacts by RAKING THE EYES, then pulling MARV back into the sleeper and back down to a knee. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Logan tightens his grip and MARV's arms begin to sway a little, so the referee steps in to check him. Seeing few signs of consciousness he picks up MARV's right arm... and lets it fall. COLE That's one and MARV may be going out here. Two more and the referee will call this one. Nodding his approval Logan watches as MARV's arm is raised again... and falls again. COACH Looks like MARV is coming down off that high. Abdullah prematurely praises the heavens for their assistance in MARV's demise... ...but the arm doesn't drop the third time and the fans stomp their feet! COLE No! MARV is still in it! Cursing his luck Logan shakes his head as MARV picks himself back up and fires off some elbows. MARV breaks the sleeper and quickly comes off the ropes with a diving clothesline! Bouncing back up, Logan is knocked down with a second diving clothesline! And then a third and MARV is all fired up~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MARV waits for Logan to pick himself up, which he does in a corner. Charging in, MARV gets caught with an elbow though and just that quickly the fire has burnt out. Logan stumbles out of the corner and pushes MARV into the ropes, catching him side-on... NO! MARV flips out of the attempted sideslam, knocking Logan down with a back elbow. Leaping over Logan's body MARV then hits a STANDING MOONSAULT!! 1... 2... NO! COLE The pace has quickened and it's MARV who's dictating it. He's lighting this crowd up like... well, you get where I'm going with that. COACH I also knew a girl called Mary Jo Anna. COLE No you didn't. MARV waits for Logan to get up, burying a boot to the gut and hooking him up looking for the Acid Drop. He runs for the corner and scales the turnbuckles... but Logan gets in underneath MARV, flipping him up and over. MARV lands on his feet and runs in TO A WICKED LEFT JAB~! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That devestating left hand! Stacking MARV on his shoulders Logan looks around with shifty eyes... 1... ...and when the time is right, PUTS HIS FEET ON THE MIDDLE ROPE... 2... ...BUT MEL JUMPS TO THE APRON AND PUSHES LOGAN'S FEET OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hey, what's that all about!? COLE MEL trying to prevent an injustice going down. Logan fumes at MEL and demands the referee take action. Which allows Synth to sneak into the ring and drag MARV up, hooking his arms behind his back while Abdullah climbs to the apron clutching the holy book! Synth drags MARV up and holds him for Abdullah to lower the boom... A MISTIMED BOOM, NAILING SYNTH WITH THE BOOK INSTEAD!! COACH OH NO! COLE He just threw the book at him! Freaking out, Abdullah is clocked too, with a right hand by MARV! Seeing trouble Logan charges with the double axehandle loaded, but MARV ducks underneath. Logan stops himself short of the ropes but when he turns around, MARV is waiting with the JAWJACKER!!! Stunned but still on his feet, Logan is then hooked up for the ACID DROP, MARV stacking Logan into a tight pin... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The Christ Air Express do it again, they've swept The Heavenly Rockers 2-0! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the match is MMMAAAAAARRRRVVVV!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling out of the ring before Synth or Abdullah can get to him MARV joins up with MEL for a celebratory jumping high-five! Stood over the beaten MACHO Macho Mann, Abdullah is seething and curses away in his native tongue like a madman. MARV and MEL are cool with it though and just laugh it up at their adopted brothers' expense. COLE Maybe Logan and Synth should think twice next time they decide to make fun of somebody for being a loser! Because it's all going to sound a little hollow next time, knowing they've both fallen to Jamie O'Hara best-brahs in singles competition in the space of two weeks. COACH Everybody gets lucky Michael. And it turns out, twins share luck as well. This doesn't change anything! COLE Well it might teach these four a little humility, although I wouldn't bet on it. Holly tends to Logan as Synth attempts to stop Abdullah's ranting and raving, stomping his feet like he's a six year old having a temper tantrum. All smiles MARV and MEL salute the crowd. COLE Oh, my! Ladies and gentlemen, I've been informed ZACK MALIBU has arrived and has demand mic time!HeldDOWN~! CONTINUES... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 Interior, Duncan family dressing room. Enter, Jade Rodez-Duncan, clutching a clipboard, holding what we can only assume is the contract discussed earlier in the show. She wears a worried look on her face as she enters the room and doesn't know whether to be pleased or filled with dread once she realises the person she's looking for has been found. JADE Uh... hi Mom. KRISTA Hi sweetie. Laid up on the couch, Krista rests a tub of ice cream on her well adept for resting chest. And being a woman that must mean she's feeling down. Krista stares at a TV screen, which she's somehow rewired to prevent the only channel available being a live feed of the show, because that would surely make her even more down. Instead she's watching what sounds, distantly, like America's Top Model. JADE Can we talk? KRISTA Hmm. Clearly not paying attention Krista downs a spoonful of the ice-cream as Jade rounds the couch behind her. Nervously shuffling the clipboard in her hands Jade sits on the arm of the couch, awkward posture, more so than usual. JADE You feeling better? KRISTA Hmm. Krista takes another scoop of ice cream. KRISTA (to self) Oh honey, you're playing with fire. Worth it though. So worth it. Krista has another spoonful and smiles contented. JADE Yyyeeeaahh... uh, so anyway, I... are you sure you're okay Mom? KRISTA Nothing a couple more tubs of this stuff won't cure. JADE Just... go easy, okay. I've seen Melody put down three tubs after bad gaming sessions and it's not good for you. That stuff's addictive. Like alcoho... you're putting some kind of alcohol in there as well, aren't you? KRISTA Of course sweetie. JADE Well, that's a relief. Taking a deep breath, Jade fights her best senses and produces the clipboard. JADE Listen, I... KRISTA You know, maybe being a runner-up isn't such a cruel fate to befall one. Look at these girls Jade. Desperate, needy, starved for attention, starved. Fame hungry. Food hungry. But mostly fame hungry. They'd sooner rat out the scrawny bitch next to them to get ahead than settle for a cheery second place and a commendation for good effort. Pleasant to their face, catty behind their back Isn't that sad? You know, these girls were never loved. Neglected by their parents. Too busy to pay attention to anything other than what the nanny filled them in on when they arrived back from work. So the children try and try to get that attention, they become desperate for it. Until sooner or later, they need it. Really need it. Not just from their parents but in everything they do in life. Next thing you know they're on television whipping their bits out and trying to get to the top of a humiliating profession that afford not an ounce of self respect. ...and then they lose one match and BOOM, it's all down the crapper like a used heroin needle... JADE Mom? KRISTA Oh, listen to me prattle on, you had something you needed to show me? Don't worry, you have my undivided attention. I'll never neglect you. Don't leave me. AH, BRAINFREEZE! UNGH! Krista cringes and squirms, while Jade kinda does the same for different reasons. JADE I just need you to sign something, if that's okay. It's a... uhm... permission slip for a... commercial they want me to shoot? KRISTA Just wait until I get my vision back and I'll be right with you. Relieved, Jade still feels guilt at what's about to happen. Or, would be about to happen, if Alix Maria Spezia didn't exist. Breezing into the room she grabs the clipboard, tossing it up in the air and catching it as she sits down on Krista's ankles with Jade caught by surprise and now helpless. ALIX Whatcha got here? JADE Oh, it's... uhm, it's nothing, not important, can I have it back please? ALIX Lemme guess, restraining order? Retaining order? Batting order for the Yankees' next game? JADE It's nothing, really, I just need it back so... ALIX*GASP*... oh my god... I don't believe this... my middle name is MARIA!? I always thought it was Marie! Aw, crap! Now I owe the people who scored my SATs an apology. After a couple of half-hearted attempts to snatch the clipboard back Jade is resigned to bury her head in her hands as Alix actually reads it. ALIX Hold up sugar mountain! We're wrestling D*LUX? When did that happen? Sure enough, Krista sits up and Jade wishes the ground would open up around her. KRISTA What!? Let me see that! (snatches clipboard and scans it) Alright, family meeting! From some unexplored area of the dressing room, youngest daughter Maya runs out and leaps onto the sofa. JADE What's Maya doing here? KRISTA Babysitter quit. Or died, or something, I dunno. Anyway, no changing the subject! Can I put this down to the intoxicating mix of bourbon and cheap fattening ice cream, or is this really a contract for a match between us and D*LUX. The same D*LUX we told to go take a running jump into a pool of horse manure and razorblades when they challenged us to said match a couple of weeks ago? MAYA Nope, that's what it says. The horse manure story is even included in the fineprint. KRISTA Thank you Maya, you're always there for me when my vision gets blurry. JADE Yeah, thanks Maya. The daughters scowl at each other. KRISTA So, am I to therefore believe that you, missy, decided in my time of intoxication to put this under my nose and expect me to sign it without me reading it? Jade. Jade Jade Jade, my beloved Jade. I'm almost proud of your sudden lack of fear for me and my vengeance. But not quite. Explain yourself! JADE Tyler and Shayne made me do it! Krista slowly sets down her ice cream and gets an all too familiar look on her face. A worrying look. JADE I mean, they weren't trying to do anything wrong and I could have just said no so it's not really their fault, it's just they want this match so much and they asked if I'd do it and I kinda felt bad saying no because they really want this match so much and... I panicked. ALIX Good job you've got that out of your system. BA-ZING! Alix and Maya high-five. KRISTA Let me get this straight. They pressured you into doing this? JADE ...kinda. KRISTA And they got you to sign on behalf of them... because you're still technically their manager? JADE ...maybe. KRISTA And they leave no trail of evidence, because it's your name on the contract and your BUTT to be kicked when I finally found out. Very clever. ALIX What about the murder weapon? Where'd you stash it, huh? Fess up punk! KRISTA There is no murder weapon. ALIX Oh. KRISTA You know, yet. But, give it time. Grabbing a pen, Krista looks over the contract again... and with a smile, she signs it. Handing it back to a clearly worried Jade, Krista picks up her ice cream again and has a couple of spoonfuls. KRISTA Your adorable little friends have made the biggest mistake of their little barely pubescent lives. When you see them, tell them you did what they told you to. Other than that, no mention of what happened. Let them think they got what they want. Infact, since you're so handy with contracts all of a sudden, get one drawn up against Landon's eclectic bunch of buddies. That way, it'll be so much more fun when we teach them never to try and manipulate my little girl ever again, because a Duncan is not and never will be a manipulatee, we are manipulators. ALIX Except when we agree on it beforehand, in which case you've gotta have a safeword. Krista smirks to herself. KRISTA They want a match with us so bad? Poor little naive boys. Far be it from me and Alix to leave them short changed. Jade, I've taught you many of life's lessons already. Today's lesson, don't get involved in other people's shit, because when they get crushed you're only going to feel guilty because you played a hand in their slaughter. Our little friends are going to find out EXACTLY what it means to wrestle COD. Oh yes. We're going to give them the FULL Chicks Over Dicks experience. And by the time we're done with them, they'll know what manhood is all about. And that's when we rip it away from them. Literally. Krista lets out a sinister laugh... KRISTA AH, BRAINFREEZE, BRAINFREEZE!! CURSE YOU BEN AND JERRY!! GAAAH!! Krista sinks crippled into the couch, allowing Alix to nab the ice-cream for herself. Frozen to the spot stands Jade, knowing now that it's not what she's gotten her mother into that's the problem, it's what she's gotten D*LUX into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUU! "Getting Away With Murder" plays, and you know the drill. The pyro EXPLODES~!, the people CHEER~!, and the OAOAST World Champion HEADS TO THE RING~! after having been battered by a newer, deadlier, Leon Rodez just one week ago. The crowd welcomes Zack with open arms, the typical response for the popular OAOAST Original, but he doesn't appear to care much for the reaction tonight. Instead, he paces the ring, appearing as though he's about to speak several times before pulling the mic away. COLE Zack Malibu looks like he may not know the right words here... COACH What's he gonna say, Cole? Bitch and moan, as usual, that someone got the better of him? COLE It wasn't someone who got the better of him, Coach, it was his BEST FRIEND! MALIBU You know, it was only two weeks ago that someone told me I needed to clear my head. That I needed to allow myself the time to focus, to let the big picture sink in. That I couldn't let myself be distracted by those who have vendettas, or are jealous, or are just impatient to get their shot at the OAOAST World Title. I heeded that advice as much as I could, and it led to a beatdown by The Deadly Alliance. So it was only natural that a revenge match, a shot at retribution, take place before my defense against Mister Dick at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. I walked into that tag team battle focused, comfortable because the person fighting the battle with me was a man who had been on that battlefield with me before. I shared scars and wounds with that man. He was, quite frankly, a blood brother. He was my partner, and we were once the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. More importantly than that, he was the one person, that no matter how aloof or akward he may have been at times, that was always there. Zack stops, but now, his demeanor changes, as if he's disgusted by those memories. MALIBU Leon Rodez. The crowd IMMEDIATELY starts booing, but that doesn't quell Malibu's mindset. MALIBU The Usual Suspects. The In Crowd. The Civil War. The Wildcards. No matter when I needed Leon, he was there. Half the time, I didn't even have to ask, because he was that eager to prove himself. It made me proud to see him capture the OAOAST World Championship not too long ago. It was bittersweet when I defeated him for this belt, because if I had it any other way, I wouldn't have wanted to take from him what he has worked for years here to achieve. It seems that its true...that this belt can change everything for a person, and that means bad things as much as it does good. Malibu continues to circle the ring, looking down as he arranges his thoughts. MALIBU I defeated Leon Rodez, a friend, for this belt. A month later, I was in the main event of Anglemania facing another friend, Bohemoth. In between all that, I lost another friend, one of my closest, to something beyond my control. The strain its put on my life and my relationships with people...and now, now this. Now the ultimate betrayal takes place. Now Leon Rodez decides that he wants to, he NEEDS to be better than Zack Malibu. Like a vampire after his first kill, he got the taste of blood, and now he wants more, he needs it to survive. This belt, the one I hold over my shoulder, is what changed Leon Rodez. This belt is the reason for what he did, because it set off a chain of events in his head that have created the new man that we all were introduced to last week. A man who lost his smile, and replaced it with a grimace. A man who lost that aloofness and akwardness, and replaced it with cold-heartedness, detaching himself from everything he stood for to create a newer, better model. An upgrade. But will tomorrow be any better, Leon? Or the next day? Can you live with yourself? And if you can, if you really, truly feel that this is the path to take, then may God help you because last week you crossed the line, burned the bridge and pissed on the ashes. Because I am TIRED of people like you who treat honor as a joke, who treat respect as an afterthought. In your deranged little head, I know you think this is right. I know that you believe this is what needs to be done, and that all I'm doing is standing out here spouting cliches and being a hero of the people, so instead, here's what I'm going to do. I am going to put this belt down, put this mic down, and stand in this ring and wait for you, Leon. I am going to wait for you to come out here and face me, eye to eye. I want to see how big of a man you are when I'm looking right at you. Because I highly doubt you'll have the confidence you found in yourself last week. Leon, you are a COWARD. You picked your spot, and you did what you had to do. Now, I'm going to do what I feel I have to do, and so help me God Leon all evidence of our past history will be erased once this new chapter starts, because you've started a fire that can't be put out. With that, Zack drops the belt, tosses the mic down, and stares at the stage. The crowd stands in unison and looks to the stage, and start booing when...MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA come out. DICK Zack, you've got a lot on yer plate, dont'cha? Little Leon's all grown up now, out of your shadow and out on his own, and you can't take it. Now, I'll admit it's a bit sad, Zacky. Brings a tear to my eye! But don't you DARE look past what's coming. Because I showed you, Zacky, what I'll do to you. See, yer out here complainin' about all these people that wronged you, the backstabbers and betrayers, but yer not talkin' about the man who pissed you off to yer face and got away with it, and that's the soon to be WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, MISTER DICK! Malibu picks up the mic, and retorts. MALIBU Listen scumbag, I'm tired of these games. You want to prove something, I'm already in the ring, you're the one standing up there spouting off. You want to prove something? I'M WAITING. Dick sneers, and he and Malaysia start walking down the aisle. The crowd is buzzing, as Malibu rolls his sleeves up, but then Dick stops halfway through his walk. DICK Aha...ahahahaha. Yer kiddin', right? C'mon now, Malibu, you think I just fell off the turnip truck? I ain't got no reason to do prematurely what's gonna come naturally at the Amazing French-Canadian Spectacular. I ain't gotta... WHAM~! In a flash, Malibu hops out of the ring and SPEARS~! Dick down! Zack starts unleashing the elbows, and as Malaysia tries to pull Zack off, he shoves her down! Malibu pulls Dick up and drags him to ringside, then hurls him into the stairs! Malibu stands over him and pounds on his forehead with closed fists, then rolls Dick into the ring. Dick is groggy, but Malibu slides in and runs the ropes, FLOORING Dick with a Yakuza kick just as soon as he raises his head! Zack again goes for the mount, nailing elbows, when Malaysia jumps on his back, trying to pull him off! Fans scream as Zack stands up, trying to break free of the madwoman...and finally he snapmares her over! Malaysia, out of sorts after being thrown, starts to get up, then goes white as she notices Zack peering at her, in the ready position to deliver a SCHOOL'S OUT~! Malaysia falls back and scoots into the corner, with Zack stalking her, but then Zack stops, as if something in his head told him to retreat. He looks around, surveying the damage, then grabs the World Title and exits the ring quietly, as if the whole incident never happened! COLE Zack does not look well...this is not the Zack Malibu we know and love. This is a man who is nearing the boiling point! Dick and Malaysia regroup in the ring, and Malibu just takes one last look at his foe, then looks out at the fans before disappearing through the curtain and ending this weeks broadcast of HeldDOWN~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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