OAOAST Syndicated 4/24/09

[Chanel #99]

Brought to you by American Express
Taped: 4/23
First air date: 4/24
Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan
Theme song: Kat DeLuna-Calling You

Syndicated returns with pretty much the same thing it left with, decent matches and goofy comedy but now it features Queen Esther on hand to lend her thoughts and opinions in the brand new show “The Queen’s Court”. Also on tap re US Title and Tag Title bouts.

One and only world tag team title
***Team Heyross Vs Los Conquesitadors ***

Moss and Dos started the match, with the voodoo warrior backing the tag champ into the corner. Repeated knife edge chops gave Dos the chance to tag in Uno and together they got the early advantage by working over Moss. The former ametur champion was able to reverse in an irish whip into a small package at one point, but Dos easily kicked out. The Mexican than cast a voodoo spell on Moss as he climbed to top rope. His spell was a dismal failure as he missed the elbow drop, and Moss was able to finally tag in Benjamin. Los Conquesitadors tried a quick double clothesline but couldn’t take down the athletic Benjamin. The tag champion dorpkicked them both over the ropes and dove upon them with a plancha as we went to break.

Returning from the commercial, we find Benjamin trapped in body block at the hands of Uno.  Los Conquesitadors continued to work over Benjamin with elementary submission holds as the crowd rallied behind the champion. Their support saw him counter an abdominal stretch with a hip toss on Dos. But Uno kept him on the defensive with a missile dropkick.  The two men continue to take turns in beating on Benjamin before he stunned Dos with a jawbreaker. A tag was then made to Moss and the audience exploded.  Moss takes the fight to the oddball duo, hammering them with amateur throws and powerful punches.  He wowed the crowd by strong arming Dos over the ropes with a powerbomb. Uno tried to right the ship by casting another voodoo spell but his spell caused referee Charles Robinson to foam at the mouth! Horrified he was rolled up into an easy pin by Moss.

WINNER: TEAM HEYROSS, VIA PINFALL

Terry Taylor caught up with CPA and Detective Bosley ahead of the former’s US Title match Todd Cortez. A man of few words, CPA merely promised that he’d show the OAOAST that the Riot Act Plus is no match for his dreaded Pigaton Punch. Its supposed to be Gigaton but I like the word Pigaton.

The OAOAST honored one its greats on Syndicated with a “Jersey Retiring” of Jamie O’Hara's jersey hosted by The Heavenly Rockers, Holly, and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. O’Hara’s favorite New York Knicks jersey, “stained with the years of tears cried after painful loss after painful loss as well as the knowledge he’ll never touch a woman  without paying her” so said Logan, was raised into the rafters. Unfortunately it wasn’t hooked properly and feel back down the ground. “Just like O’Hara career, a flop!” Logan said to laughter from his gang. On hand to give the ceremonial speech was Tony Tourettes. The highlights of Tony’s speech were when he compared watching O’Hara to having a live chicken crammed into his urethra, and when he noted O’Hara was at home choking on Joe Biden’s morning shit.

***Ken Pantera  W/Vinny Valentine Vs Eskimo Kid***

The OAOVW superstar The Eskimo kid endured himself to the OAOAST Marks by handing out popsicles to those seated in the front row.  Kan Pantera destroyed the good will by ripping the popsicles out the Marks’ hands and throwing them to the ground. Dastardly! Eskimo Kid fared about as well as the popsicles being crushed at the onset by the powerful brawler. Kid had a brief fluery of basic cruiserweight offense that gave him a glimmer of hope. But that hope was easily snuffed out by a bear hug from Pantera, who got the submission.

WINNNER: Ken Pantera, via submission

On the weeks edition of Queen’s Court….wait that’s the first ever edition of Queen’s Court I guess I gotta explain it. blahblahblahblahblahblahblah its a news show summarizing and discussing the current events in the OAOAST. This week Queen Esther and the Hellfire Club explored the stunning attack Leon Rodez did to his long time friend Zack Malibu. Lucius Soul did not not see the big deal, saying he pulled a gun on his cousin once for cheating at a dice game and he grabbed his mother by her weave and tossed her out the house when she question his involvement in the pimp game. Rico believed Zack got what he had coming to him, as he had taken advantage of Leon’s friendship for too long. Esther did not approve at all! Her belief was that friends were the most magical gift of all, and turning on them was like the sun turning on the moon. She even told a fairy tale of two Princes who wanted to court the fair queen in grammar school. Each day they would compete for her affections, first as friends, then as foes. Unable to stomach breaking up a friendship Queen Esther sent them both roses from her and told them to meet her at an assigned location. When they got there she sprung on them and forced them to kiss and now they live happily ever after in a flat in London.   

United States Title
***Todd Cortez Vs CPA W/Detective Bosley***

The two men traded arm drags to start the contest, which did not sit very well with the not-so technical minded CPA. More to CPA’s liking the two men began trading punches with Cortez gaining the upper hand by lariating his foe over the ropes. Bosley, however, provided a much needed distraction and CPA was able to hurl Cortez from the apron into the guardrail. CPA pounded on Cortez for quite some time before chucking him back into the ring for a two count. More brawling offense followed, and lead into a chinlock from CPA. Cortez found the strength to fight out the hold and hit a suplex that might have gotten three if Bosley hadn’t put CPA’s foot on the ropes. Cortez kept on the advantage hiting a bulldog and blocking CPA’s gigaton punch attempt with a belly to belly suplex. He came off the top with a cross body block but CPA caught him in set up for The Dominator. But, Cortez slid out the hold and struck gold with a Riot Act Plus. Bosley couldn’t get into the ring fast enough to stop the match ending 3 count.

WINNER:  Todd Cortez, via pinfall.