Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLTCXZbCNFU COLE Welcome, folks to a very special edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN where we'll pay tribute to one of our fallen friends, Sly Sommers. Sly was a kind man with a good heart and his passing has been a deep sadness for us all. Tonight we celebrate his life and all the joys he brought to us over the years. "Right Round" by Flo Rida & Kesha hits and to a royally rude reception, Queen Esther leads out The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club with a big smile on her face. Excited to see so many people, even if they are booing, she waves to the crowd. Not so courteous are Lucius, suited up and combing at his 'fro, with Rico dressed to compete and stroking his 'stache determinedly. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing, being lead to the ring by her highness, QUEEN ESTHER ENDICOTT and accompanied by LUCIUS SOUL. From Rio de Janeiro, Brazil... weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds, "The White Knight" of the MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... RRRIIIIIIICCOOOOO DDEEEEEE JJJAAAAANNEEEEIIIIRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Singles action for Rico de Janeiro, but he's certainly not alone. Rico enters the ring and sneers around at the crowd. COLE Well he's made it into the ring tonight, that's a step up from last Sunday. "Thriller" by Fallout Boy powers out next and it's a much warmer welcome for Baron Windels. And for Melody Nerdly, allowed out first by ever polite Tim Cash. The big Texan marches to the ring purposefully, while Rico goes over last minute plans with Queen Esther and Lucius. BUFFER And his opponent! Lead to the ring by MELODY NERDLY and accompanied by his tag team partner, TIM CASH... from San Antonio, Texas. He weighs two hundred and sixty five pounds... "THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGER"... BBAAAAARRRRRRRROOOOOOOONN... WWWWIIIIIIIIINNDDEEEEEEELLLLLLLLSSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Jumping in over the top the big Texan throws up the horns to the crowd. COLE And here's a man, Baron Windels, who did compete in the AngleMania Payday Gauntlet this past Sunday night alongside Tim Cash. And they made a real strong fight of it... COACH And lost. At least Rico and Lucius made it out in one piece. COLE Well I think Baron and Cash found more honour in defeat than Rico and Lucius did in running away, but maybe that's just me. *DINGDINGDING!* Moving out of their corners, Rico and Baron go face to face. COLE Plenty of history between these two, going back to the days of The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and The Lonestar Gunslingers. Rico starts jawing, perhaps giving Baron a little bit of a history lesson of his own. The big Texan just stands his ground. COLE And we're well matched on the outside, Tim Cash and Melody Nerdly out here to combat the presence of Lucius Soul and Queen Esther, who were know are not above getting involved to help out Rico, we know that. After some more staring down they lock up, Rico instantly landing with a knee to the ribs. Rico strokes his 'stache in satisfaction before clubbing Baron across the back with a forearm. And again. Rico lifts Baron's head back up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and connects with a knifedge chop. COACH Rico doesn't look like he needs much help from the outside, does he? Backing Baron to the ropes Rico sends him for the ride. Baron ducks underneath a clothesline though, storming back off the ropes with a running shoulder tackle! The force knocks Rico over and keeps him rolling, right the way out of the ring where Lucius and Esther are waiting to check on him, while Baron fires up the fans. COLE You were saying Coach? COACH Well, we're only seconds into the match, you can't make any judgements yet. COLE But you can? Baron exits the ring and sends Lucius and Esther scattering, left to watch in horror as Rico's face is slammed into the ring apron. Staggering away, Rico rounds the post and slides back into the ring, with time to spare to catch Baron sliding in with a double axehandle! Rico puts the boots to Baron underneath the bottom rope, backed away by the referee. That allows Lucius Soul to jump into action, making Coach look quite the fool. Before he can get to Baron though, upholder of justice Tim Cash rushes over and catches Lucius red-handed. The pimpmeister stops in his track and Baron kicks out catching Lucius in the head! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now before you say anything, Lucius didn't do anything to provoke that. COLE He was going to though. COACH There you go again making judgements before anything's happened again. To his feet, Baron catches Rico moving in with a couple of shots to the gut and turns him against the ropes for an irish whip. Baron connects on the rebound with a big Powerslam and hooks a leg... 1... 2... No! Pulling Rico to his feet, Baron guides him into a corner and delivers a running clothesline, motioning for one more to the crowd's approval. He sends Rico into the opposite corner with another whip, following up on him with another corner clothesline! BARON COME ON! COLE OH YEAH HOOK 'EM HORNS~! Baron comes off the ropes looking for yet another clothesline, but Rico manages to duck even in his weakened state. And as Baron comes off the far ropes, Rico does a sudden 180 to cut Baron off with a High Knee! COLE A nice counter by Rico though. Cover by Rico... 1... 2... No! After seeking guidance from his Queen, The White Knight prepares to give Baron a Piledriver. COLE Rico's looking for Queen Esther for wrestling advice? This is the woman who a week ago thought I was communicating to her via magic mirror and now she's giving coaching tips? Not good coaching tips, admittedly, as Baron backdrops his way out of trouble. COACH Okay, that didn't turn out great. But I don't hear you complaining about 'Tex putting his career in the hands of Melody Nerdly. The woman who maps their matches out in the dressing room with special Dungeons and Dragons dice. Waving Rico to his feet, Baron goes to hit the ropes... and suddenly finds himself rooted to the spot, by Queen Esther grabbing onto his leg! Baron tries to pull himself away, kicking Esther's feet up off the ground and leaving her flailing across the apron, until Rico attacks from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Melody complains to the referee about the interference from 'Princess Peach', who she had always thought was one of the good guys. COLE Is that any way for a 'queen' to act? COACH Wouldn't you be the expert on that? Rico delivers a back suplex to the dazed Baron and looks for the cover... 1... 2... No! With Baron trying to get the crowd behind him, Rico strokes his 'stache thoughtfully before delivering a stomp to the back of the head. More 'stache stroking sets up a second stomp. And then a third. "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" "BA - RON!" COACH I hope they're not chanting that at the Queen. Baron starts to fight back, catching Rico with a couple of punches to the midsection, only to be cut off by a knee. Stepping behind, Rico, GOUGES his fingers into the eyes of the Texan! By the hair he then drags Baron from his knees, throwing him down to the mat. After a reprimand from the referee Rico measures Baron for an elbowdrop... and MISSES! COLE Rico a little laborious on that attempt. COACH Yeah, he was kinda slow too. Shaking out the arm, Rico throws a right hand, but gets blocked. Baron then starts to unload with right hands to the cheers of the crowd. Rico is backed up into a corner and whipped across, before being forced to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS by Baron!! Not done there, Baron hooks Rico up for the Texas favourite, the Bulldog! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... NO! Baron heads to the top, with Lucius yelling at his partner to watch out. BARON IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIIIIIIIME! Leaving the top, Baron connects with the Top Rope Lariat!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's gonna do it! 1... 2... NO!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther breathes a sigh of relief, covering her shocked mouth politely with her hand. COLE Oh, that was close! This crowd thought it was three! Baron takes a still woozy Rico over to a corner and scales the turnbuckles, fist clenched. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" A whip sends Rico reeling into the opposite corner. But the Brazilian still has enough wits about him to get a knee up, catching Baron as he charges in! COLE Rico with a knee up, and man did he need that because Baron was rolling. With a relieved stroke of the 'stache, Rico turns Baron around and delivers a couple of forearm smashes. Rico then backs off the ropes and looks to unleash the Hand Of God... but Baron turns away and hooks Rico in a Backslide... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Only two... Rico is struggling here! Baron looking much sharper and quicker than the mustachioed Brazilian. COACH Hey, you don't rush Rico. Beating Rico to the punch Baron backs him up with a succession of right hands. Grabbing him by the wrist Baron then tries to whip The White Knight to the ropes, only for Rico to reverse. Rico strokes the 'stache and puts his head down... ...and gets caught with the BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Unnoticed in the excitement, Lucius Soul wipes out Tim Cash with a surprise cheapshot, then jumps up onto the apron to distract the referee as Baron makes the pin. COLE Come on! This is exactly what I was talking about earlier! On the outside, Queen Esther waves her wand over her head. And AS IF BY MAGIC, through the crowd, SCOTTISH SCOTT of The Last Kings Of Scotland appears from through the crowd. Baron glances up at the distraction on the apron, unaware of Scott climbing the turnbuckles behind him and coming off the top, DRIVING THE HANDLE OF HIS SPIKED CLUB INTO THE BACK OF BARON'S HEAD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Scott turns Rico over on top and Lucius conveniently wraps up his convesation with the ref, who doesn't hear Melody's pleas not to count... COLE NOT THIS WAY! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Rico has stolen this one, with the help of Scottish Scott! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... RRRRRRRIIIIIICCOOOOO DE JJJAAAANNEEEEIIIIRRRROOOOOOO!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Queen Esther jumps on the spot clapping her hands gleefully at the victory. Barely aware of it is Rico, helped from the ring by Scott and Lucius to join in the celebrations. Melody tries to inform the referee of what happened but by now it's too late as The Mardi Gras crew are taking their win and leaving. COLE Once again Baron the victim of a Last Kings sneak attack with that damn club, the same weapon which cost Citizen Soldiers at AngleMania. And what relationship exactly does Scottish Scott have with The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club?COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Backstage the Orange County Cobras are standing by. SIMON Ned and I had the honor of working a series of tag bouts last summer with Sly Sommers and his fellow In Crowd buddies. Those matches are still talked about even though they occurred at non-televised events thanks in large part to his performance. To say he was an amazing talent would be a gross understatement. NED Loaded as the OAOAST is with superstars, Sly Sommers is one guy I’d have paid to see wrestle. Had he been able to stay healthy there’s no doubt in our minds he would’ve held the OAOAST Championship at some point, that’s how good he was. There’ll never be another one quite like him. Elsewhere backstage the Christ Air Express are sitting with family dog N00b MEL Sly was a cool dude. He was always there for advice on wrestling, like if you needed a move worked out or something like that he'd do it. MARV Yeah, bro, that guy was always in the ringing, and all you had to do was ask and man he'd show you a bunch of new tricks. He was a fountain of knowledge, he knew just about everything in wrestling. He loved this sport and he'll be missed. N00B MARV N00b did you understand? MEL Naaaaah, couldn't have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Lemme tell you how bad anglemania burnout has hit me! I didn’t even want to write this match. It may be the worst I’ve ever written. I can’t even proof read it, I can’t even write entrances. I am tired of match writing! “MOLLY! MOLLY! MOLLY!“ “If you wish to show support for me please write to your local theatres and persuade them to not allow low grade pap like Fast and the Furious 4 to infiltrate our cinema!” “…….” Assuming that silence is compliance, Molly smiles, assured that she’s fought the good fight for true movie lovers everywhere. Less comforting to Molly, is the pink boot Lorelei pokes into her midsection. The Money Honey then grabs onto her old friend’s arm and throws her into the corner. She charges towards her, but Molly stuns her by stepping forward and capturing Lori into a roll up that pulls away several of her feathers. ONE! TWO! Lorelei kicks out, looking more annoyed at being minus a few feathers than almost being on the receiving end of a humiliating loss. Unfortunately, back on her feet her poor luck continues with Molly twisting and snapping her arm with a dreadful arm wrench. Keeping hold of her greatest enemy, Molly reaches over to apply the tag with her elder sister. “A NEW CHALLENGER HAS ENTERED THE FIELD” Melody screams in her best Street Fighter II announcer impersonation. Mellow Yellow climbs onto the top turnbuckles and offers the approving crowd the Vulcan hand signal, before she lives long and prospers with an elbow directly to Lori’s arm. The Money Honey tries to stagger away, but there’s little ground to be gained as Melody snaps her arm down with a second arm wrench. But summoning strength from her intense hatred of the Nerdly clan, the powerful babe wraps her arms around Mel’s waist and rushes her into the corner. Melody’s back is driven into the ring posts with thundering impact, but much pain is caused to Lorelei who clutches her back. “Get a Wii fit, Nerdly, you weigh more than a whale!” She scoffs to Melody’s horror. COACH Bout time someone said it, this bitch gettin hefferlicious! Home girl about to eat herself into a Game Over! COLE Will you stop? She looks just fine! While the announce team argues over Melody’s weight, the Money Honey applies the tag to Queen Esther. Problematically, her royal highness can’t quite manage to get her fancy dress through the ring ropes. “Help! I’m stuck! Morgan, assist me!” “This is insane.” Morgan grumbles. “Why’d you wear a dress like this in the first place?” “This is a dress expertly modeled after the dress Queen Anne wore when she signed the Acts of Union in 1707. Morgan, do you know what the Acts of Union state?” “Yeah, they state you’re a retard.” Morgan churlishly complains and then finally “helps” Esther by booting her into the ring. “That…that…that’s no way to treat a queen!” “What about the queen of the retards?” Taking advantage of her opponents’ bickering, Melody is able to spring to life with an elbow to back of Queen Esther’s head. Lorelei tries to defend the OAOAST royalty but is promptly beaten back by powerful elbows from the mistress of the digital domain. Thankfully for Lori, she’s spared further beatings by a recovered Queenie who whips her foe into a neutral corner. The cute redhead then exemplifies her cuteness by SKIPPING towards Melody and WHISTLING a little tune. As lovely as that may be, its poor strategy as Melody is able to lunge forward and cut down the merry skipping of the Queen with a lariat. “Improve your Jedi training, you must!” Melody comments in her Yoda voice. She then drags Esther to her team’s corner and applies the tag with Sophie. Along with the French rookie they grab hold of Esther’s legs. “Stop! Stop! You’ll wrinkle it! Somebody save me!” There’s no aid forthcoming for the damsel in distress as the French-Canadian connection rolls forward and overturns Esther with a devastating leg whip! As the queen tries to return to her feet, Sophie bounces off the ropes and catches her neck with a harsh whip lash. The Frenchgirl then pops to her feet and claps her hands together to pump up the audience and celebrate her quality showing. Satisfied with the pleasing crowd response, Sophie takes hold of Esther’s strawberry locks and leads her to the canvas. “My hair! My naturally curly red hair!” Queen Esther bemoans, and then turns that sorrow into an angry rage that causes her to fight off Sophie with wild haymakers. Having weakened Sophie with her crazed punches, the Englishwoman traps her fellow European into a front facelock and brings her down to the canvas with a DDT! Oddly delighted by executing one of the most simple moves in wrestling, Esther giggles in girlish glee. Still delighting in one offensive attack, she prances to her corner and applies the tag with the women’s champion, Morgan Nerdly! “OOOOOOH!” the fans react, knowing the huge danger the tiny Nerdly girl posses. COLE Morgan Nerdly making her first appearance as women’s champion! Enter the ring Morgan cartwheels her petite body forward and uses her dashing buildup to drop a lethal elbow onto Sophie’s neck. The cute Nerdly girl offers an approving Lorelei a small grin before hooking Sophie’s leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! But, Sophie gets a shoulder off the canvas, which causes the fine feathered Lorelei to have a mini temper tantrum on the ring apron. “PINK ROOSTER! PINK ROOSTER! PINK ROOSTER!” COLE That is sort of low, even for OAOAST Marks. No one should ever suffer the indignity of being compared to Terry Taylor. Morgan grabs onto Sophie’s boyish haircut (I like girls with short hair!) and hauls her off the canvas. But as Sophie is brought upright her thin arms begin flinging themselves at Morgan, fighting back with spirited punches. “That’s enough of that.” Morgan chimes in and shuts down Sophie’s brief comeback attempt with a knee to her waifish midsection. Halting Sophie from her aimless and pained staggering, Morgan grabs onto her foe and lifts her into the air for a bodyslam. But Sophie shocks the Inspector by wiggling out the hold and landing behind the champion. Before Morgan can recover her bearings, Sophie brings her down with a side Russian leg sweep. This allows Sophie to make a hasty retreat to her corner and tag in her good friend, Molly Nerdly! “YEAAAAAAAA!” The screen queen enters the ring, just as Lorelei steps through the ropes to cut short her foes’ momentum. But Lorelei hasn’t much luck in derailing her foes, as Molly uses her limber ballerina legs to upend the money honey with a leaping side kick.. As Lori struggles to regain her footing, American Cinematographer’s sexiest director of photography of the year bounces herself off the ropes. As she nears her former Enterprise mate, she hooks her arm around the back of her head and drives her downward with a bulldog that delights the crowd! COLE Molly, looking sharp early on! A cover is made by the screen queen… ONE! TWO! But, the women’s champion saves her best friend from certain defeat with a high heel to Molly’s head. But Morgan hasn’t a chance to further torment her sister before Melody thez presses her little sis to the ground. “Stop it, you’ll crush her with your blubber!” Lorelei whines. “Guards! Guards! Remove this sasquatch at once!” Queen Esther panics in the ring apron. The Sasquatch comment does not sit overly well with Melody, and she snarls her rage through gritted teeth. “YOU HAVE UNLEASHED THE FURY!” she bellows and then sprints across the ring, leaping into the air with a shout of “SHROYUKEN!” a vicious uppercut that heaves the queen off the ring apron. COLE Fatality! COACH That’s from Mortal Kombat, get your nerd references right. Melody celebrates with a well deserved self high five, yet that brief moment to delight in her victory comes at a deadly cost. The feathered body of Lorelei slams into her with a vicious shoulder block that strikes perfectly in the lower back and leaves her slumped against the ring ropes. A smile erupts on Lorelei’s cherub face, as she realizes the perfect position she’s left the empress of the geeks in. But she hasn’t a chance to even begin a single one of her evil plans before little Sophie sneaks behind her and her rolls into a pinfall! ONE! TWO! THREE! The fans explode at the sight of this shocking upset! Already sensing, Lorelei’s bitter rage, Sophie makes a quick exit from the ring to celebrate with her Nerdly mates. “FLAWLESS VICTORY!” Melody shouts to the cheering audience, as Molly pats her happily shocked friend on the back. BUFFER YOUR WINNERS….MELODY NERDLY, MOLLY NERDLY, AND SOPHIE! Lorelei remains in the ring, pink lips turned into a fuming frown that’s not directed at Sophie but rather at Morgan who profusely apologizes for letting Lori downCOMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 COLE As we continue to celebrate the life of Sly Sommers, we go live right now to Tango Bosley and Christopher Patrick Allen for their thoughts on our fallen friend. BOSLEY It might come as a shock that we actually have something nice to say. But we do. Although we didn’t know Sly well, we do know the people he associated with, two guys we’ll face later tonight in Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, and if they’re any indication, Sly Sommers must’ve been one miserable son of a bitch! CPA Say man, why don’t we bring Sly in to defend himself from these charges? COLE/COACH BOSLEY That sounds fair. Give me a second. Bosley exit’s the picture and returns holding a skeleton with an In Crowd t-shirt. BOSLEY Were you a miserable son of a bitch, Sly? Obviously there’s no response. BOSLEY Are you refusing to cooperate with the AMOG, the Alpha Male of the Group?! Again silence. So Bosley whips out his telescopic baton and delivers a beating. BOSLEY You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say won’t stop us from kicking Zack and Leon’s ass. They have the right to defend your honor, but when it’s all said and done they’ll be our prison bitches! Do you understand? CPA COLE The man’s family and friends are still in mourning, damnit! They don’t need to witness this disgusting display! Backstage Alix sits dressed as her alter-ego Glock Lesnar GLOCK LESNAR Yo, the Glock here representing her crew the Glockadile Dundees, shouts to mah niggas on they grind, shouts to mah niggas that fell behind. Rest In Peace, Sly Sommers, see you at the crossroads so you won’t be lonely. The Glockadile Dundees was always about rags to bitches, and that dude Sly was straight up about rags to bitches same as me, same as we. Me and the crew was always out getting that paper, and I know my homie Sly was fillin his buckets with them duckets. Sly was like me, he knew if his this wrestling game don’t work we gonna be runnin up in niggas houses! Yo house, niggaaaaaaa! On that BAM BAM where the cash at, bitch, where the Ipods at, I don’t want yo broke ass Sandisk MP3 playa you copped from a flea market I want an iphone with all the cool apps! Don’t be reaching for no phone! Don’t do it! BAM! BAM! How you gonna call the cops when I shot ya finger off. Ya you bleedin to death, but yo hemorrhaging ass better get me that Playsation! Sly knew that we gots to get out there and move that crack rock. Plus we be pimpin on them hos on facebook. I ain’t got love for them chickens, money over bitches, first and foremost, last and always, but yo I be tellin’ these hos to come over my crib and get buck naked and sometimes they daddy be e-mailin me back MY DAUGHTER IS ONLY 15 YEARS OLD YOU SICK FUCK. And I’m like nigga watchu know bout that teenage ass, I was going down on my Volleyball coach in 7th grade. It only took 3 licks to get the center of that tootise roll pop, word! COLE The man’s family and friends are still in mourning, damnit! They don’t need to witness this disgusting display! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 COLE Folks, right now our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by Jamie O'Hara and The Christ Air Express! Cooped up in their locker room, although not exclusively their's obviously, we find a glum looking O'Hara sat on a bench with MARV and MEL standing around either side of him. MARV is pre-occupied with his new DSi, with MEL the brother to present some air of professionalism by paying attention. MATTHEWS Guys, I'm getting some strangely bad vibes from you tonight, what's the deal? O'HARA Wot's the deal!? Ain't you bin watchin' or nothin'!? I'm gittin' treated like a joke, innit! Heavenly Rockers punkin' me out every week and I ain't doin' nothin' to stop it. An' then, they make me fall flat on me face infront'a thousands of people! MEL J's just a little bummed out at the moment. O'HARA 'Bummed out'!? O'Hara stands up. O'HARA This ain't some bad mood or that bollocks, this is real shit! This is my livelihood! They're turnin' my name into a joke, rippin' away my cred! MATTHEWS You mean with the One And Only Jamie O'Hara Federation running gag? O'HARA Yeh, exactly. Turnin' me into a bloody laughin' stock. MEL Just chillax a little brah. Listen, me and MARV have got your back, we can get The Heavenly Rockers and Abdullah in a six man. It's all cool. O'HARA Nah... nah, it ain't cool n'ymore mate... I don't reckon there's no place for Jamie O'Hara 'round here no more. Dejected, O'Hara walks off, leaving MEL behind stunned. We move to the back, where our OAOAST World Champion, ZACK MALIBU, stands before us. MALIBU As many of you know, the OAOAST lost one of our own several weeks ago, as Zachariah Sommers, known to his fans and his friends as Sly, passed away. Tonight, we celebrate the life and career of Sly Sommers with this special edition of HeldDOWN~!, a Sly Sommers Memorial program that will allow us to pay tribute to a very special person. It is with a heavy heart that I do this, because I knew Sly better than anyone. He came into my life as a student, but he became not only someone who looked up to me, but someone I relied on, confided in, and trusted. When he was faced with challenges in his life I raced to his side, because no matter what might have come between us professionally at times, on a personal level I continued to watch out for him as a friend. It was a privelege to be able to train him and see him evolve into a superstar before my very eyes, and I can assure you that the feeling he got from wrestling for the OAOAST and in front of our great fans is one that he knew he would treasure forever. Sly, you were my student, my friend, my partner, my family. I miss you, I love you, and I'll never forget you. Zack, teary-eyed, walks off screen, as the camera pans in on a framed poster of Sly Sommers hanging in the background before the scene fades out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Elsewhere backstage Tim Cash sits ready to offer his thoughts to Sly. TIM CASH Sly was good man. A darn good man. He battled many personal demons, some harder than most of us can ever know. They were tough but he preserved because of a love for his friends and love for this industry. He was a wrestler's wrestler and man's man. And when I say he was a man's man I meant that he was honest and he gave of himself. He took a lot of youngsters under his wing, kids who wouldn't have been given a chance anywhere else and made them into great talents. There's a place in heaven for Sly, I'm sure of it. Somewhere else Los Diablos are on hand to do exactly what Tim Cash just did. MARIACHI Sly was sexy man, he was beautiful man, and now he dead and we are sad man. MORACCA We love Sly for his spirit and his energy! But when he think of him and all he did for world we do one thing. MARIACHI Smile! MORACCA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Backstage, we find Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez getting prepped for their match. LEON Sure you're ready for this? ZACK Yeah. I'm good. What about you? Leon continues lacing up his boots a few seconds before answering. LEON I'm good too. Clearly with something on his mind Leon waits as Zack turns away and slides on an elbowpad. LEON Listen, maybe now's not the time, but we should really talk. ZACK I've been meaning to say the same. And you're right, now's probably not the best time, assuming we're talking about what I think we are. Let's get tonight out of the way first. Before Leon can reply, the door to their locker room bursts open. Both Zack and Leon jolt up, especially when they're confronted by a smirking Mister Dick and his ladyfriend Malaysia. MR DICK Hey Zackie boy! Just wanted to wish ya'll the very best of luck tonight! ZACK Leave it out Jock, eh? Not tonight. MR DICK Didn't ya get the memo Champ, it's Mister Dick now. I'll letcha off this time though since I like ya so darn much! Anyway, you wanna out for them there VICE guys though Zack, word of warning. They're double tough. So, if you're feelin' a little tired, feel free to go on ahead and tag out to your buddy here, save yourself on up for Montreal. Sure, the kid's on a losing streak lately but I hear he used to be pretty good. Dick smirks at Leon, who just about keeps his composure. MR DICK How about that stuff earlier, huh? Talk about ya bad form. I gotta say, as somebody who knows a little something about gettin' people all riled up and outta shape, that was something else. Phew-wee! Ya gotta admit though, it was kinda funny. A little morbid for me, but Malaysia here's got a darker sense of humour than yours truly and it slayed her, so i... ZACK Are you deaf, or just this dumb!? I said... not tonight, okay? Tonight isn't about you and me. It's about a hell of a lot more than that, so if you've got even an ounce of class left which is debatable I know, you'll keep your damn opinions to yourself tonight and get the hell out of my locker room! Backing off, Mr. Dick encourages Zack to cool down. MR DICK Okay, well I best be goin' anyway. We'll talk some other time Zackie. ZACK Yeah, I bet we will. With a wink Mr. Dick wraps an arm around Malaysia's shoulder and they leave. ZACK Can you believe the nerve of that guy? LEON No... no, I can't.COMMERCIAL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanel #99 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2013 Non-point’s cover of the Phil Collins classic “In the Air Tonight” plays VICE to the ring. BUFFER The following contest scheduled for one fall is our main event of the evening! Introducing first, led down the aisle by their manager, the NEW OAOAST Women’s Champion INSPECTOR MORGAN NERDLY! Violators, Intimidators and Capital E-fenders... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and CPA... VVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VICE don’t come alone. They’ve also bring along the “skeletal remains” of Sly Sommers! Bosley presses the skeleton against the ring post while CPA cuffs a ball and chain to its ankle. COLE I can’t believe the nerves of these guys. Boy is there gonna be hell to pay in a matter of moments. “Getting Away With Murder” hits and the Usual Suspects power walk to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents, representing THE IN CROWD! At a total combined weight of 428 pounds, here are "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion ZACK MALIBU… THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" The Franchise burns a hole through VICE as he slaps hands. Leon Rodez, however, clearly isn’t his usual happy-go-lucky self. COLE You gotta wonder what’s going through the minds of Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. It’s been an emotional night for everyone involved, but doubly so for the surviving In Crowd members. COACH I can tell you what’s on Leon’s mind: How could I lose to Tha Puerto Rican? There are bad loses and then there are bad loses, Mikey Cole. I’d be dejected too if I lost to the people‘s chump. COLE Leon Rodez hasn’t had the best of luck lately, no doubt about that. But what a match-up he and the People’s Champ had this past Sunday at AngleMania. If you missed it, ladies and gentlemen, be sure to catch the encore presentation all this month on pay-per-view. The pre-match garb is removed and we get set for action. Black arm bands sported by the Usual Suspects, black wrist tape by VICE (how very subtle!). * DINGDINGDING * Leon steps out on the apron, much to Zack’s surprise. It’s all good though. He pats his partner on the back and locks up with Tango Bosley. The Franchise takes a knee to the gut but ducks a roundhouse kick and performs a back suplex. Rather than go for a quick cover he mounts Bosley and hammers away. COLE You better believe those are for Sly. Bosley shoves Zack off and heads for the nearest corner. Bad mistake as Zack hits THE ZACK ATTACK II, and then spikes Bosley mid-ring with a BULLDOG! Inspector Nerdly gives the orders and CPA gets drilled by a DOUBLE DROPKICK! COLE I don’t think that’s what Morgan had in mind sending reinforcement. COACH That referee is bias, Cole. He’s letting the Usual Suspects get away with murder in there. VICE regroup outside, while the Usual Suspects stand tall inside. “SLY!” “SLY!” “SLY!” Zack works the crowd, then goes to work on CPA after evading a corner charge. He wrings the arm and gets popped in the mouth for his trouble! Hard right hands from the former boxer rock The Franchise. CPA then whips him into the ropes for a FRONT SPINEBUSTER… BUT LEON DROPKICKS ZACK ON TOP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Usual Suspects tag and Leon Rodez lands a… Jab! Jab! Jab! Jab! Leon blows a kiss to the crowd, then nails the ENZIGURI~! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! CPA stumbles across the ring and down throat-first on the middle rope. COACH Uh-oh. Leon does a little dance, and then crashes all his weight across the spine of CPA! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES! Leon turns and walks straight into a ROUNDHOUSE KICK! COACH That’s what made Tango Bosley a great detective in his previous profession, baby boy. He was always right on top of the case. VICE tag and Bosley does a dance number of his own, which steps consists of stomping Leon relentlessly! BOSLEY DOES IT HURT? DOES IT HURT? YEAH, FEEL THE PAIN!!! Bosley attempts an Irish whip but Leon reverses and executes a SITOUT HIP TOSS! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Leon wrings the arm and tags Zack, who delivers a top rope double axe handle onto the outstretched limb of the AMOG. A quick tag is utilized and the Usual Suspects repeat the aforementioned spot. Leon goes back to the arm wringer only to be whipped off. There waiting for the Grand Rapids Golden Child is CPA, but Leon slides under the bottom rope and through CPA’s legs, then yanks him off the apron where the big guy’s smacks hard face first! COLE What athleticism! Leon fakes a slingshot cross body and takes Bosley down in a SUNSET FLIP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! A martial arts back elbow, whatever the hell that means (it just sounded good), knocks Leon outside. Zack rushes to his partner’s side but is soon ordered back to his corner. And when the cat’s away the mice come out to play. CPA drops the heavy ball attached to skeleton on Leon’s stomach! COLE That damn bully! CPA helps roll Leon back in and a tag is made. Bosley holds Leon upright as CPA performs a TOP ROPE FLYING SHOULDERBLOCK! COACH Now that’s impressive. COLE Indeed it was. CPA expanding his wrestling repertoire. The cover. ONE! TWO! SAVE BY ZACK! “LE-ON!” “LE-ON!” “LE-ON!” CPA scoops Leon up and delivers a TILT-A-WHIRL SIDE SLAM! BOSLEY ONE MORE, BABY! ONE MORE! CPA obliges…but this time LEON COUNTERS WITH A DDT! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Cheered on by Zack and thousands of OAOAST Marks, Leon manages to make the tag! BOSLEY YOU AND ME, FOOL! YOU AND ME! COME GET YOU SOME! CPA still reeling from the DDT, it’s Tango Bosley who must tame the raging wildfire that is Zack Malibu and he does a piss poor job. The World Champion whips him off and executes a BAAAAAAACK body drop. CPA sneaks up behind and throws his dreaded GIGATON PUNCH…but Zack ducks and BLASTS HIM WITH SCHOOL’S OUT! INSPECTOR NERDLY Leon returns and takes Bosley down, then over in the LIONTAMER! Bosley taps as the referee counts… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, representing THE IN CROWD… LEON RODEZ and ZACK MALIBU… THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COLE A fitting end to an emotional night. The In Crowd victorious on the night we celebrate the life of one of their own. Rest in peace Sly. Zack points to the heavens and then to his heart, then locks eyes with MR. DICK who appears onstage. We fade to black with the two men staring each other down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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