OAOAST HeldDOWN 3/26/09

[Chanel #99]

PRESENTED IN HD

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


It's a cold open to another red hot edition of HeldDOWN~!, as we begin tonight's broadcast with the owner of the OAOAST, ANGLESAULT, standing in center ring.

ANGLESAULT
It is with a heavy heart that I begin this broadcast of HeldDOWN~!, because last week, the OAOAST was dealt with a tremendous blow with the passing of Sly Sommers. I am pleased to announce here tonight that the HeldDOWN~! broadcast after Anglemania will be a special 3-hour tribute show to our friend Sly, and I welcome all OAOAST fans past and present to join us as we pay our respects to our fallen brother.

Anglesault pauses, and gives the crowd a moment to applaud and cheer, while some fans even brandish signs showing their respect for Sly.

ANGLESAULT
Now, that brings me to tonight, because here at the OAOAST, we are going to get back to business as usual. We are going to get back to doing what we do best, and that is by giving you fans the kind of excitement and action that will stick with you for a lifetime! Here tonight, on HeldDOWN~!, it's ANGLEMANIA REMATCH NIGHT, showcasing rematches of some of the most famous matches in Anglemania history as we make our way to the next chapter in that event on April 5th! We have some great matches planned, including a World Heavyweight Title match in our main event! Right now, I'd like to announce that match, but before I do, I'd like to welcome out here the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ZACK MALIBU!

"Getting Away With Murder" is cued, and the World Champion emerges, lookin' all spiffy in gray dress pants and a white button down shirt. Malibu stops at the top of the ramp and points to the sky, a silent tribute to his friend, then heads to the ring to an enormous reaction.

COLE
We've heard all week that Zack was willing to recreate Anglemania history here tonight, and you want to talk about a track record of classic matches at Anglemania!

COACH
Gotta keep in mind though, most of the people Zack has battled over the years are no longer affiliated with the company. Calvin Szechstein's vanished off the face of the earth, Drek Stone ain't comin' back anytime soon...

COLE
...or is he? Or Calvin, for that matter? What about Zack tagging up with Caboose and Some Guy, right here tonight? We already saw CWM show up a few weeks ago, whose to say Black T can't as well!

Zack and Anglesault hug, and Zack turns around, holding the sixteen pounds of gold over his head as the fans chant his name loudly. It's a warm response for the champion, who has certainly been battling a slew of emotions the past week or so.

ANGLESAULT
Zack, my friend, tonight is going to be historic, and when history is going to be made, you can be damn sure that the Franchise of the OAOAST, the World Heavyweight Champion, is going to be a part of it! Now, I know that the question on your mind, Zack, is the question on everyone's mind that's here in this arena and that's watching at home; just which Anglemania moment are you going to relive tonight? Could we see Zack Malibu defending his World Championship against...Calvin Szechstein? Or how about Drek...no, you know what, let's forget all about Drek, shall we? No, tonight, Zack Malibu, you are going to relive your crowning achievement, the day that you became the glory boy of the OAOAST. Tonight, Zack Malibu is going to defend his World Heavyweight Championship...

Anglesault pauses, as he turns to the crowd, and then back to Zack as he makes the startling announcement.

ANGLESAULT
Against ME!

The crowd buzzes, cheering for the shocking announcement, as a confused Zack looks at Anglesault, who stands there beaming.

ANGLESAULT
Now hang on, before anyone gets carried away, there is no ill intent here. Zack, I've come to respect you as a man, and more importantly as a friend. You have carried this company on your back through the years, but it was that night, the moment the referee's hand hit the canvas for the third time, that you became what you are today. Now, I'm not an active competitor, and truth be told I've seen better days, which is why I'm content standing back and helping to lead this company from the corporate side. But Zack, you and I made history that night, and after all that's happened through the years, I've never asked you for anything, and I've always been a man of my word. So have you. So tonight, I'm asking you to step into this ring not as my friend, but as my opponent. I'm asking you in front of the world to hear me out on this, to do what you know in your heart will go down as one of the greatest matches in broadcast history. What do you say, Zack?

Malibu, still a bit confused by this turn of events, takes the mic.

MALIBU
'Sault, it's not a secret that I've come to respect you, because this company would have never gotten off the ground had it not been for you. Everything, right down to the name, is because of the things you've done in this business. It's also a well known fact that Anglemania II was the "passing of the torch" in regards to the OAOAST. Like you said, it was the night that I ascended to the throne, and cemented myself as the leader of the OAOAST. As for tonight, I'm two weeks away from the challenge of another man that I call friend, and that itself is an Anglemania rematch. I've been training, studying tapes, and sadly have been caught with more serious distractions recently. However, I am a man of my word, and a man of action. I'm never one to back down anytime anyone, friend or foe, throws a challenge my way. There's no better way to prepare for Anglemania then by reliving the night we tore the house down six years ago. My friend, tonight, YOU'RE ON!

Anglesault smiles slightly, nodding his head and then extending his hand to Zack.

ANGLESAULT
Well, if it's a done deal, then all I can say is...I hope you're ready, Zack. I might not be the Anglesault of 2003, but you never know when I could surprise you.

Zack and Anglesault shakes hands, and Anglesault walks out of the ring. He stops and turns, looking at Malibu at Zack plays to the crowd with the World Title held firmly in his hands, as the shocking announcement of the Anglemania II main event rematch has kicked off our night with a bang!

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES-
-TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK-
-THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT-


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLTCXZbCNFU



"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Instead of the pyro and BALLYHOO~! that usually opens the show, it’s straight to the ring as SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD head down the aisle in street clothes. Fade jeans and gray t-shirt for Simon, jeans and white tank top for Ned with a picture of him doing his best “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” impression.

COLE
Welcome to the longest running episodic television series in TSM history. Thursday night is HeldDOWN~! And a special hello to everybody viewing us once again on The Pit. Michael Cole and Da Coach coming to you live from the hometown of the legendary “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, Charlotte, North Carolina!

COACH
WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

COLE
This week it’s AngleMania rematch night and we kick things off with a special challenge from last week.

* DINGDINGDING *

BUFFER
OAOAST Marks, the following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combine weight of 460 pounds and hailing from the O.C., Orange County, California… "BOX-OFFICE" SIMON SINGLETON and “THE HANDSOME HUSTLER” NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

So in the zone are Simon and Ned the cheers go unnoticed to them.

COLE
In all my years in the OAOAST I’ve never seen Simon and Ned any more intense like they are here tonight.

COACH
And I’ve never seen Teddy Moneymaker more incensed than last week. I mean they came at him with evil intentions.

COLE
Of course they did. Simon and Ned thought they had settled the score with Moneymaker and company at the Celtic Spectacular only to get screwed out of their tag title match at AngleMania two weeks ago.

COACH
Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire, Jr., the LDC Moneygang, won that fair and square I might add.

“Money Talks” by AC/DC blasts through the speakers and Theodore Moneymaker/Christian Wright appear dressed for show not to go.

COLE
Surely they aren’t gonna fight in suits?

COACH
It’s come as you are, you idiot. You think Teddy and CW buy off the rack at Walmart?

Before ring announcer Michael Buffer can introduce them, he’s called over by Moneymaker and hands the microphone off to him.

MONEYMAKER
In case you idiots didn’t realize, this is AngleMania rematch night. And unless you’ve got some time machine, this isn’t an AngleMania rematch. Besides, we're already booked against Chicks Over Dicks and sure as hell won't risk injury competing in a match we don’t have to.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

WRIGHT
SILENCE!

MONEYMAKER


WRIGHT
In the spirit of government bailouts, Theodore and I have put together a rescue plan for tonight. And unlike the plan of our dear Uncle Sam, you will see immediate results. How immediate you ask -- about, oh...right now!

"Protect Your Mind" by DJ Sarkin and Friends plays the LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND to the ring.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Damnit! Theodore Moneymaker has weaseled his way out of another one.

COACH
Don't be hatin', MC. OAOAST promoters are the ones who booked Teddy and CW against COD, on this AngleMania Rematch night.

As the Last Kings approach ringside, Simon DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES AND WIPES THEM OUT!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Simon tosses Scottish Scott inside and Ned goes to town, dropping him with a back elbow before he removes the turnbuckle pad and smashes the Braveheart into the exposed steel!

* DINGDINGDING *

The bell officially sounds and Scottish Scott is already BUSTED OPEN, to the crowd’s delight. Blanchard shows no mercy stomping the fresh wound, then rubbing the Scottish lad's face into the mat! A tag is made and Ned connects with a shot that Simon follows with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER!

COACH
This is awful, Cole. The Orange County Cobras strike before the match begins and you don’t even make a peep.

COLE
Like a baseball game you gotta be alert at all times.

Simon doesn’t even think about going for the cover and instead looks to execute a piledriver, but ol' Danny Boy comes off the top with a shot to the back of the head!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Danny dumps Simon outside and RAMS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL as the referee keeps Ned at bay. When Simon staggers to his feet he’s a BLOODY MESS.

COLE
It’s not even Halloween and Simon and Scottish Scott are both wearing crimson masks!

The Last Kings of Scotland tag and Danny Boy pulls Simon back in, slamming his head into the buckle. He keeps B.O.S.S. in the corner and delivers a series of rapid body shots, then gnaws on Simon’s forehead!

COACH
I bet it tastes like chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.

COLE
Well not everything.

COACH
Oh yeah, I forgot about the first time you swallowed!

COLE
Hey! I told you that in confidence.

The Irish hellraiser spits out blood, then attempts to split B.O.S.S.’s neck off his shoulders courtesy of a hangman’s neck breaker but a MULE KICK puts ol' Danny Boy on his knees!

COACH
Low blow, Cole. That ought to be a DQ.

COLE
Well obviously the official didn’t see it or he’d have called it I’m sure.

Ned receives the tag and comes in a house afire. Just when it seems he’s got the Last Kings of Scotland on the ropes V.I.C.E. hit the ring!

* DINGDINGDING *

Detective Bosley whips out his TELESCOPIC BATON and blasts Ned upside the head, splitting him open. Meanwhile, Simon gets sent for the ride by CPA and is planted with a FRONT SPINEBUSTER!

MONEYMAKER


The AMOG then produces a BALL and CHAIN, which he attaches to the ankle of Ned before taking liberties with him.

COLE
Haven’t those damn bullies made their point? Why the use excessive force?

COACH
To drive home that point again and again.

And that Detective Bosley does, beating Ned’s ribs with the baton. OAOAST officials unable to put a stop to the beat down.

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

Fortunately there’s somebody who can.

TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS, THE CITIZEN SOLDIERS!

COLE
Business is about to pick up now. Not long ago it was Simon and Ned saving Tim Cash and Baron Windels. Tonight it’s the other way around.

The damage done V.I.C.E. leave before Tim and BW make it inside. Detective Bosley kind enough to release Ned from the ball and chain.

COLE
Simon and Ned may have found the match by DQ, but it's the Billion Dollar Heir who got the last laugh. He may have finally accomplished his goalt: put Simon and Ned out for good. Stay tuned for more OAOAST HeldDOWN with our Anglemania rematches!

LATER TONIGHT
RIVALRY RENEWED
PRL VS THE MAD CAPPA
TONIGHT!

[Chanel #99]

"Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake plays as red and blue clips of past AngleMania bouts zoom past the screen.

ANGLEMANIA SHILL CENTER

Inside the state-of-the-art Shill Center is OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan. The red and blue clips from the open in full color on TV monitors in the background.

BRANNIGAN
What excitement AngleMania Rematch has brought us thus far, but it pales in comparison to the kind of action you can expect to see live exclusively on pay-per-view one week from this Sunday.  It’s ANGLEMANIA VIII and this year Indianapolis, Indiana hosts the teenage father of them all. Tickets for the event have long since been sold out, but you can still catch all the action from the comfort of your own home live exclusively on pay-per-view.

NO DISQUALIFICATION
Alfdogg vs. Reject

BRANNIGAN
I know the folks in Indianapolis, Indiana are really looking forward to this one. Native son Alfdogg returns home to seek revenge on former Deadly Alliance running mate Reject. The R-Man very instrumental in getting Alf booted from the DA. When they meet this time Alf will have the numbers on his side with over 70,000 strong on hand!  

SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE
LINDSAY LOHAN
Krista Isadora Duncan vs. Mr. Dick

BRANNIGAN
Reject won’t be the only Deadly Alliance member in action come AngleMania, so too will Mr. Dick. He of course was the newest member until Hollywood wild child Lindsay Lohan recently joined the group. That on the heels of what she perceived to be a snub from Krista not getting invited to the 300th episode of HeldDOWN~! She and Jay Cutler would make a wonderful couple. In any event, Krista and the Human Hard-On will do battle on the grandest stage in all of parody e-fed, AngleMania.

By the way, Dina, if you’re watching, call me. I think we could have some real fun together. Uh, watching AngleMania I mean!  

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
AKA CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL EXHIBITION MATCH
Todd Cortez © vs. James Blonde

BRANNIGAN
With championship gold on the line this could turn into bedlam as outcast CI member Todd Cortez defending his U.S. title against James Blonde. And whenever Blonde goes you can expect to find Faqu not too far behind.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Team Heyross © vs. the LDC Moneygang

BRANNIGAN
For the One & Only World tag team title, the newly formed tandem of Spencer Reiger & Colin Maguire, Jr. will face arguably the greatest in-ring tag team in OAOAST history Team Heyross. You’ll recall Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard were to get their shot at the tag titles by virtue of winning the 2009 Anderson Cup, but we all know what happened thanks to Theodore Moneymaker’s involvement. The shot now goes to the LDC Moneygang and if they manage to hit that awesome spike pedigree the belts will be theirs.

FRIENDLY COMPETITION MATCH
Leon Rodez vs. Tha Puerto Rican

BRANNIGAN
Dubbed a “friendly competition match," former OAOAST Champions Tha Puerto Rican and Leon Rodez will square-off. One has got to feel for the Silky Smooth One. From World Champion to this? Somebody ought to place him on suicide watch if you ask.

OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Zack Malibu © vs. Bohemoth II~!

BRANNIGAN
And in our main event, one that’s changed once already and could very well change again before the night is done, In Crowd pals Zack Malibu and Bohemoth will collide for the richest prize in the sport, the OAOAST Championship. In fact, it was one year ago at this very event that Bo DEFEATED the Franchise. To refresh your memory, let’s take you back to that night courtesy of OAOAST Home Entertainment.

Bo reaches down and picks Zack up, but Zack stuns him with a jawbreaker as he does! Malibu shakes the cobwebs off and moves in for the kill, taking Bo and sending him in...NO! Bo counters and sends Zack off the ropes, then nails him with a diving shoulderblock, knocking Zack through the ropes! Malibu hangs on, landing on the apron rather than the floor, which Bo doesn't realize as he comes up off the mat. Zack gets to his feet, and after measuring Bo up, launches himself in with a springboard lariat...BUT GETS CAUGHT AND DROPPED WITH AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP~! Bo picks Zack up...EROTIC AWAKENING OF B ONCE AGAIN~! COVER~!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

















DING! DING! DING!

COLE
IT'S OVER! HE DID IT!

COACH
BO JUST BEAT ZACK!

The sound of his theme song is music to his ears, as Bo rolls off of Zack, seemingly chuckling to himself, content with having just done what only one other person ever did...defeat Zack Malibu on the grandest stage in wrestling today. Bo slowly gets to his feet, and when he does his hand is raised, which is welcomed by a crowd who appreciates not only the win, but the effort involved.

COLE
An amazing match with two tremendous athletes, and tonight Bohemoth was the better man, securing a three count over Zack Malibu after surviving an offensive onslaught like no other from Malibu!

COACH
Give it up for Zack too, Mikey Cole. Both these guys busted their asses big time here tonight!

Bo limps around the ring, his knee still giving him trouble after being a target for Malibu earlier on. Bo leans on the turnbuckles, then climbs up on them and raises his arms, basking in the victory as many members of this capacity crowd respond loudly with cheers. Bo steps down and turns around, then stops dead in his tracks, as Malibu comes up and inches towards Bo. Favoring his back, Malibu comes forward, staring at Bo without fear in his eyes...and extends a hand.

COLE
And there it is, folks. Winning streaks and championships are certainly important in our industry, but there's no prize greater than the respect of your peers, especially someone like Zack Malibu, and that's what Bohemoth has earned here tonight!

The crowd cheers loudly, as Bo looks to each side. He focuses on Malibu, staring the man he just defeated not more than two minutes ago...and WALKS RIGHT PAST HIM!

COLE
Wait...what? What is he doing?

COACH
Bohemoth just dissed Zack Malibu, hardcore!

Bo steps through the ropes and out onto the ramp, and starts heading to the back, the once supportive crowd now drowning him out with boos, while a confused and angered Malibu stands in the ring.

BRANNIGAN
Now both men have wished each other luck heading into AngleMania. But what if history repeats and Bo goes home with the title, or Zack retains? Will they still be happy for the other? The answer to that Sunday night, April 5th live exclusively on pay-per-view.

“Here I Go Again” cues.

BRANNIGAN
Don’t be the person around the watercooler who doesn’t know what everybody is talking about the following morning. Pick up the phone and call your local cable/satellite provider RIGHT NOW to order ANGLEMANIA VIII!

* COMMERCIAL *

COMING UP NEXT
ANGLEMANIA VII REMATCH
TEAM HEYROSS VS THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS
NEXT!

[Chanel #99]

HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!

Heart-Shaped Box hits, and multicolor spotlights shine down on the entrance way.  Abdullah Abir Nerdly makes his way through the curtains, leading out Holly, Synth, and Logan.

COLE
And this a rematch from last year's AngleMania, this time The Heavenly Rockers will be challenging for the belts!  Let's go to Michael Buffer!

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the OAOAST World tag team championship!  Making their way to the ring, accompanied by Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Holly, at a combined weight of 417 pounds...the greatest Rock 'N' Wrestling band of ALL TIME...THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEAVENNNNLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
OCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSS!!!!!

Synth and Abdullah do their prayer, as Logan taunts the crowd.  Synth then enters the ring, and he and Logan discuss strategy.  Shine hits, and the crowd comes to its feet as Team Heyross make their way through the curtains.

BUFFER
Their opponents...at a combined weight of 485 pounds...they are the OAOAST World tag team champions...CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSS!!!!!

COLE
It was one month ago that Team Heyross became the fifth team in OAOAST history to win the World tag team titles three times, and tonight, they defend against one of the other four teams, The Heavenly Rockers!

Team Heyross enters the ring, and hops on the buckles, holding their belts high in the air, as the crowd cheers.  They jump down, and landing facing Synth and Logan, who were planning a sneak attack, but rethink their plans as the referee quickly jumps in.  He takes the belts from Team Heyross and raises them in the air, then calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

Benjamin starts off with Synth, and the two circle the ring.  They tie up, and Benjamin wrings the arm, but Synth quickly reverses.  Synth puts pressure on, but Benjamin rolls on the mat, then does a handspring, then reverses once again.  He soon goes to a hammerlock, but Synth is able to reverse into one of his own.  Benjamin reaches his right arm up, then flips up and behind the back of Synth, and attempts a reverse sunset, but Synth blocks with the ropes, then runs towards Benjamin, who drops down, then leapfrogs Synth, and catches him with an armdrag!

COLE
Great sequence right there, and Quentin Benjamin comes out on top!

Benjamin holds on, and executes a top wristlock, driving knees into the arm.  Synth manages to get to his feet, at which point Benjamin wrings the arm again.  Synth delivers a kick to the gut, then goes for a knucklelock.  He forces Benjamin down to the mat, pinning his shoulders...

1...


2...


Benjamin bridges up, then is shortly forced down again...

1...


2...


Benjamin bridges up once again, then powers his way to his feet, and delivers a foot to the gut, then lunges his head forward and butts him in the face!

COACH
Ouch!

Benjamin then runs to the ropes, still holding one of Synth's hands, and jumps to the top, then jumps back, and catches Synth with a HURRICANRANA~!

COLE
What a move by Quentin Benjamin!

Benjamin covers...

1...



2...



Kickout!

Benjamin re-applies the armbar, then drags Synth to the corner, and tags in Moss.

COLE
First tag of the match, and here comes Charlie Moss!

Moss takes over on the arm, then backs Synth into a corner.  He starts delivering right hands, but Synth goes to the eyes.  He then turns Moss around, and delivers some rights of his own, before attempting to hiptoss him out of the corner.  Moss reverses, and executes a hiptoss on Synth!  Synth quickly rolls to his corner, and tags in Logan.

COACH
And here comes the Macho Macho Mann!

Logan and Moss circle the ring, and tie up.  Logan grabs a side headlock, and Moss backs him into the ropes and shoves him across.  Logan and Moss collide in mid-ring, and Logan hits the mat.

COLE
Moss with a decided weight advantage over Logan...

Logan then flips to his stomach, as Moss hops over him and runs to the ropes.  Logan attempts a leapfrog, but is caught by Moss, who holds him around the waist, then lets him down and holds him around the shoulders, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~!

COLE
BIG suplex from Charlie Moss!

Moss tags in Benjamin, and slams Logan in position, as Benjamin slings over with a guillotine legdrop!  Cover...

1...



2...



Kickout!

Benjamin executes a gutwrench suplex!  Cover...

1...



2...



Kickout!

Benjamin lets Logan get to his feet, then backs into the ropes, where Abdullah grabs his foot from the outside!

COLE
Hey!  Abdullah grabbing Benjamin's leg from the outside!

Benjamin reaches through the ropes and lunges for Abdullah, who gets out of the way.  Benjamin turns back around, and is met with a WICKED LEFT HOOK~! from Logan, sending him through the ropes and to the floor!

COLE
And Logan taking advantage with that left hand!

As Logan distracts the referee, Synth grabs Benjamin in a front facelock, while Abdullah lays in some kicks!

COLE
And look at Abdullah with those cheap shots on the floor!

Synth tosses Benjamin back inside, where Logan chokes away at him on the mat.  He then tags in Synth, who executes a snap neckbreaker!  Cover...

1...




2...




Kickout!

Synth whips Benjamin into the ropes, and catches him with a clothesline!  Cover...

1...




2...




Kickout!

Synth makes his way over to Moss, drawing him into the ring, then joining Logan in choking Benjamin on the top rope.  Synth then tags in Logan as the referee comes back, and Logan hammers away in a corner, then attempts to whip him across.  Benjamin reverses, then charges, but catches a foot to the face!

COACH
Should have tagged right there!

Logan covers...

1...




2...




Kickout!

Logan then tags in Synth, and Synth whips Benjamin into the ropes.  Benjamin ducks a clothesline, then swings around and catches Synth in a crucifix!

1...





2...





Kickout!

Synth gets to his feet, and stomps away on Benjamin, then tags Logan back in.  Logan grabs Benjamin in a sleeper!

COLE
Sleeper hold applied!  Will this be enough to bring a fourth title to the Heavenly Rockers?

Benjamin fades slowly, and drops to the mat.  The referee checks the arm...

ONE!!!









TWO!!!









...Benjamin keeps the arm up on the third lift!  He struggles to his feet, then drives in elbows, breaking the hold.  He backs into the ropes, and knocks Logan to the mat with a shoulderblock!  He then runs to the ropes again, hops over Logan, but Logan gets to his feet and catches him with a knee to the gut!

COACH
Nice move by Logan!

Cover...

1...






2...






Kickout!

Logan backs Benjamin into a corner, and whips him across, then charges...but Benjamin gets his foot up, then catches Logan with a bulldog!

COLE
And now Benjamin needs to tag!

Benjamin inches towards his corner, as Synth climbs into the ring, attempting to stop him, but is intercepted by the referee, as Benjamin makes the tag to Moss!

COLE
And there it is!

COACH
No, the referee didn't see it!

The referee turns around, and forces Moss out of the ring.  As Moss protests, Synth and Logan set up Benjamin for a double team DDT!  However, Benjamin manages to slip free, and armdrags Synth and Logan across the ring!

COLE
Look at that move!

Benjamin then rolls on the mat between the lunging arms of Synth and Logan, and TAGS MOSS!

COLE
And there's the tag!  The referee saw that one!

Moss climbs in and floors Logan with a clothesline!  Then floors Synth with a clothesline!  Hiptoss for Logan!  Hiptoss for Synth!  Moss picks up Synth, and executes a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX~!  He follows with an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY on Synth!

COLE
Charlie Moss is a house afire!  He's like a bull in a china closet!  He's cleaning house!

COACH
...any more cliches you want to throw out there?

COLE
WILL YOU STOP???

Moss covers...

1...







2...







Logan saves!

Benjamin tackles Logan into a corner, and starts firing away.  Moss then sets up Synth in a corner, and the Heavenly Rockers are whipped into one another!  Logan is sent out of the ring, while Synth staggers in the middle of the ring, perfect prey for the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!  Moss then signals for the end!

COLE
Team Heyross looking to end it here!

Moss picks up Synth, as Benjamin hits Logan with a PLANCHA on the outside!  Moss whips Synth into a corner, and as Synth backs up, Moss ducks down and lifts him onto his shoulders, and Benjamin comes off the top for the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER!

COLE
Put this one in the books, folks!

1...









2...









3!!!

COLE
Team Heyross defends their titles!

BUFFER
The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST World tag team champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSS!!!!!

Moss and Benjamin are handed their belts, then charge at the ropes as Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire Jr. start to slide in, then quickly back off!

COLE
Look, it's Colin and Spencer!  They were coming for Team Heyross, but the champs saw them coming!

Colin and Spencer talk trash from the outside, while Team Heyross raises their belts in the air while staring them down.

COLE
What an exciting match it's going to be in ten days at AngleMania VIII, when those two teams will meet for those belts!  Folks, we'll be back!

[Chanel #99]

In the locker rooms we go, where a rather pensive Maggie Nerdly stands arm in arm with Tha Puerto Rican, almost clinging onto him for support as much as unity.

MAGGIE
Listen, thanks for coming you guys.

The camera pans away from PRL and Maggie, revealing a pretty full crowded locker room. MARV and MEL are there. D*LUX, Shayne Brave still wearing a cast on his broken wrist, they're there, along with Women's Champ Jade Rodez-Duncan. Chicks Over Dicks are there since Jade's there, although Krista looking thoroughly disinterested in the whole thing since it's not about her and Alix is distracted by the fact there's a light shining off of Jade's watch onto the wall. Bohemoth is there next to them.

And sat facing Maggie and PRL is a fidgety Leon Rodez.

MAGGIE
Err... well, I guess we all know why we're here.

ALIX
Yep. And, for what it's worth, now that the world's been obliterated by meteors and we're gonna be the ones charged with colonising this new planet, I gotta say I couldn't have wished for a greater group of people to have survived with. Yay Team Earth!

KRISTA
The world isn't over, that's just the line they used on you to get us in here.

ALIX
Aw, sweet. I get to see Dance Movie after all!

Alix and Tyler high-five. PRL gives them a funny look because, well, seriously.

MAGGIE
(desperately trying to get back on message)
We're here... to clear the air, before some sorta super drama starts up. And because I need to apologise to Leon.

Still uncomfortable with the whole situation, Leon continues to look down at the floor.

MAGGIE
Not for anything I've done or anything I've said or anything like that. Cause, honestly, we haven't done anything wrong. But I do feel kinda bad about the way you found out about all this and for that I'm sorry. I was gonna get around to telling you sooner or later, for reals, but what with everything that's been goin' on with the World Title recently and all that...

Leon glances up at the mention of that, nerve struck.

LEON
Well, in that case, thank you both for sparing my feelings.

MAGGIE
Don't be like that Leon.

LEON
I'm not being like anything. But do we really need to do this? You've moved on, congratulations, end of story. Isn't that enough? I mean I get that you're feeling guilty about the fact you felt the need to keep it from me for so many days...

PRL
Well... months.

The assembled mediators resist the urge to give a Jerry Springer style reaction as Maggie's eyes shut, making it clear PRL slipped up.

LEON
Months?

MAGGIE
Just a couple.

LEON
So it's been going on for a couple of months and you didn't feel the need to tell me?

MAGGIE
Well... you had the match with Zack coming up and I didn't wanna put any kinda stress on you before that...

LEON
I still don't get why any of this should have been a stress to me. Why are we all acting as if I'm some emotionally crippled teenager who's got some kind of shrine to you built up at home, just praying you'll one day take me back? Do I come off as that desperate to everybody? Or just you? What makes you think I'd have that much of a problem with it, aside from your choice in men, what you di...

PRL
Woah woah woah woah WOAH! What the hell's that supposed to mean!?

Maggie urges PRL to calm down.

PRL
It's not like you've got any room to talk, pal!

LEON
And what's that supposed to mean?

PRL
Oh you know damn well what it means!

Standing up from his chair, Leon suddenly finds his path to PRL blocked by D*LUX. He quickly cools off and sits back down.

MAGGIE
See! I know you're not the best of friends, so maybe that had something to do with it. Look, you want me to be straight with you? No problems. I didn't wanna put any hassle on you because we were only just getting back to being friends again. It kinda happened at the wrong time. After he came back from his bicep injury, I was doing some interviews with him and me and Edward just kinda hit it off.

PRL's eyebrows raise a little. Cue sniggers from the rest of the room.

LEON
Your real name is Edward?

PRL
Yeah, what's it to you!? Do you honestly think my parents really named me Tha Puerto Rican!?

LEON
No. It's just that we've been in the same company for five years now, and I've yet to find out what your real name is. Maggie's been with you for a few months now, and she already knows everything about you! (under breath) Besides, I kinda figured that your name was Dwayne.

PRL
Why would you think my name was Dwayne?

LEON
No reason.

Maggie settles 'Edward' down again.

PRL
...it means "guarder of wealth".

MAGGIE
I know, I know.

Noticing Bohemoth is among those still smirking at him, PRL gives him a dirty look, but quickly looks away when Bo starts to lower his sunglasses.

MAGGIE
Look I'm sorry this whole thing's turned into such a mess and I know it's my fault for not being straight with you from the start...

ALIX
Yeah, at least I pretended to be straight!

MAGGIE
...BUT I just want us to put this all behind us and get on with our lives. Us friends, me and Edward partners. With no bad feelings.

Leon shrugs.

MAGGIE
And I want you both to promise that you're not gonna use all this as some kinda stick to beat each other with at AngleMania. You guys agreed to a fair, friendly match and I don't wanna be responsible for changing that. I'm not one of those girls who thinks it's cute having two guys fighting over her, just so you know. We all just need to move on, let this be the last of it. Kay?

PRL looks at Leon, not in a particular friendly way.

PRL
'Kay'.

MAGGIE
Leon?

LEON
Don't worry. All of this... it's not going to change what happens between us at AngleMania.

Standing up, Leon goes to leave, stopping right by PRL.

LEON
So, I'll see you then, 'Edward'.

Leon brushes past PRL ever so slightly which threatens to set the Latin Lion off, but Maggie has a pretty good grip on his arm just incase. Once Leon's a suitable time gone, PRL leaves the locker room too, with Maggie forced to make some quick thank yous for the peacemakers' help.

KRISTA
Well that was a whole heap of nothing. You promised they'd fight.

JADE
Only because you wouldn't have come otherwise.

The odd group of OAOASTers stand around wondering if they're allowed to leave yet. It's at this point, Alix looks up.

ALIX
Wrestlers dating wrestlers... it's sick, is what it is!

Jade scratches her neck awkwardly with a slight glance at Bo. Which'd be much more awkward, if it weren't for Alix's wrestler girlfriend being in the room being even more glaring and obvious.


TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT
ANGLEMANIA II REMATCH
ZACK MALIBU VS ANGLESAULT
TONIGHT!

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

REJECT IS BOLDLY GOING TO ANGLEMANIA

PARAMORE-DECODE(omg IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT Paramore is Patty's favorite band!)

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time.

Reject pulls himself to his feet, then makes his way over to Melissa. The two stare at each other for a second, before Reject reaches his right arm around Melissa's neck, to her right arm, grabbing his belt...then Melissa reaches her left hand up, grabbing Reject behind the neck, and PULLING HIM FOR A BIG KISS!

How can I ever own what's mine?
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride.
No, not this time.
Not this time.

Moss then turns around as Reject springs in...and hits him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Leon falls to the mat, and Reject turns around on the top rope, and drops the MACHO MAN ELBOW~!!!

COLE
Big elbowdrop from Reject!

Both men lay on the mat for several seconds, before Reject KIPS UP~! as the crowd boos.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)

Reject grabs O'Hara around the face, but O'Hara shoves him into the ropes, and delivers a kick to the midsection, then starts to set up a BLACK RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP, but as he grabs the arm of Reject, Reject brings it up and hooks him, dropping him with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 in one fluid motion!

How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah.
But how did we get here?
Well, I think I know.

Reject rolls TK out of the way, then gets in a 3-point stance as 9-Mill executes the slingshot, unwittingly shooting his partner right into a EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject!

Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.
Do you see what we've done?
We've gone and made such fools
Of ourselves.

Yeah. Yeah.

Reject slides in, then grabs the chair from Simon and cracks him over the head!  Ned then turns and sees Reject, and charges him for a clothesline, but Reject ducks, drops the chair, and catches Ned with the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah.
How did we get here?
Well, I used to know you so well.
I think I know.
I think I know.

Reject hops on the buckle and raises the belt, as the crowd showers him with cheers. As Reject continues to pose on the buckles, fireworks explode over the ring, followed by navy & white confetti showering from the ceiling.

There is something I see in you.
It might kill me.
I want it to be true.


BOLDLY GOING WHERE NO ANGLEMANIA HAS GONE BEFORE
TO INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA
OAOAST WORLD TITLE: ZACK MALIBU VS BOHEMOTH III
KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MISTER DICK WITH SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE LINDSAY LOHAN
ALFDOGG VS REJECT
PRL VS LEON RODEZ
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP: TODD CORTEZ VS JAMES BLONDE
OAOAST TAG TITLES: LDC $MONEYGANG$ VS TEAM HEYROSS
PLUS, JADE-RODEZ DUNCAN, LANDON MADDIX, THEODORE MONEYMAKER, AND MORE!

[Chanel #99]

RECORDED EARLIER THIS WEEK
LINDSAY LOHAN’S CONDO

Melissa Nerdly sits beside the hottest starlet in tinseltown Lindsay Lohan

MELISSA
Hello, OAOAST Marks, thanks for joining me, Melissa Nerdly, for my exclusive one on one interview with Deadly Alliance member, Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay, thanks for welcoming me into your home.

LINDSAY
My pleasure.

MELISSA
What has been the hardest part about your feud with Krista Isadora Duncan?

LINDSAY LOHAN
You know what’s hard? I wanted to be that woman. I saw her doing all the things that make her fulfilled, kids, work, everything, and I wanted that for myself. I used to tell her that to. She would tell me I could have it. But she never told me it’d come by sacrificing my friendships. I didn’t know she got to where she was by stabbing people in the back. No, I thought it was hard work and honesty that made Krista who she was. But as soon as a friend no longer is valuable to her she just tosses them aside.

MELISSA
How do you think Krista has handled this very public feud?

LINDSAY
I think she’s instigating and antagonizing me. Not directly. But she has her friends, and her PR people leak certain things. Like there was a news report I once called her at 4 am cursing her out. I would never knew that. I know she has a family, there are other people who live there. I’m a better person than that.

MELISSA
You won’t stoop to her level, and good for you. I wish more people were like you as a matter of fact.

LINDSAY
I feel as though it’s a situation where people have manifested this caricature of who I am and who she is, and they act as if there’s no real person inside it. I mean people believe I’m a fame-hungry spotlight obsessed girl and she’s this wisecracking supermodel, and this is just a funny feud. But its not funny, its very serious.

MELISSA
Its serious because of her intention to degrade and demean you. Why would you ever wan to be like that woman?

LINDSAY
I wanted to be a star, and she was a star, and she did it on her own terms. But I think a lot of what people think I am, are just reflections of the worst parts of Krista. People see me as this girl who loves to be photographed, doesn’t know how to focus, just loves to go out, loves to party, doesn’t work well on set. Those are all Krista traits. She does those things and people think she’s eccentric and fun. I do them and I’m a bad person.

MELISSA
The hypocrisy doesn’t make sense!

LINDSAY
I adopted her as a role model and look where it got me. I never went to college, I was a child actress, and she was my role model and it was a failure. She once said to me “I’d love to make a movie with you or do a TV show, let’s get out of all the Hollywood bullshit, let’s go somewhere you can be focused and let’s make something great.” That meant a lot to me. Because as much as I admired her she genuinely meant it. But in the end I guess it was all a lie.

MELISSA
What do you hope happens to Krista?

LINDSAY
I hope Mister Dick beats her at Anglemania.

MELISSA
Don’t we all? Don’t we all?

LINDSAY
I don’t know if I wish her harm. But I wish her suffering.

MELISSA
You have every right to do just that. Lindsay, thank you so much. Everyone, this is Melissa Nerdly wishing you a goodnight and a safe weekend.


!MAD CAPPA VS PRL!

[Chanel #99]

Backstage former OAOAST world champion Tony Brannigan is with the leather bound duo, Mister Dick and Malaysia.

BRANNIGAN
Tony Brannigan here in the ActionZone with The Human Hard On Mister Dick and former women’s champion, Malaysia. Both representing the Deadly Alliance and both with a bone to pick with the OAOAST Marks.

MALAYSIA
Plenty of bones to pick, I wouldn’t mind going into the stands and breaking some either. That’d be fun.

BRANNIGAN
That must be your idea of foreplay! Mister Dick, why the anger to the OAOAST Marks?

MISTER DICK
A lot of folks, who don’t know nothing bout me, call me vulgar and crude. These idiots sit around all day, watchin video tape of me, not for my six pack abs or toned biceps, but for my mouth, trynna see how many times I’m gonna curse, or how many times I’m gonna degrade females or how many times I’m gonna do this and that thing that they don’t like. And I say they can all go straight to hell and stay there for the rest of their life! They get a gigantic metal rod up their old wrinkled broke good for nothing ass whenever I do something and call TSM and tell ‘em to get me off the network. These people done tried to paint me as a beast, that can’t control himself! They attacked me for wanting to lay the beating on Krista’s daddy, and praised Alfdogg when he came out like a chump and played Superman. Alfdogg, you ain’t nothing but a Superbitch and I ain’t gotta have no crystal ball to see you got a Eulogy in yer future. You call yerself Alfdogg, I ain’t got no idea what that name means, boy because you ain’t Alf the alien, and you ain’t no dog, you just a chicken shit piece of crap!

BRANNIGAN
Jock, please! This is what people are talking about.

MALAYSIA
Go on, baby. Give it to them! Make them squirm.

MISTER DICK
Keep yer trap shut, old man, ain’t nobody in this building tryin to hear from you. When I’m done whuppin on Krista, maybe I’ll toss your carcass around the arena. You truly are a pathetic sight with your microphone and your polo shirt, lookin’ like the Josh Matthews butch loverboy. I don’t got no respect for you, Brannigan and I don’t go no respect for Krista or her lyin’ and theivin’ family neither. That alzhemiers havin’ fake hip, depends wearin bastard told me he was gonna beat on me! He laid down the challenge first, Brannigan. I accept it ‘cause I’m a man and that’s what man does. But the day of the fight comes and father time ain’t no where to be seen. He got hit with a yellow streak! He must have cats at home, cause there’s definitely some pussy in him. Listen old man, you look like the rotten corpse of an anorexic crackhead, you might have thought you was doin the right thing for your daughter, but you weren’t. You did the exact wrong thing. Cause I’m still pissed atcha, I’m still pissed at the whole Duncan clan. I can’t lay my hands on Jade, ‘cause Josie’s hanging her saggy breasts over me, hemmin and hawwin about a suspension. All I got to go after is yer family’s pride and joy, Krista. I gotta give her ass a beatin for three people. For Lindsay, for myself, and for you.

MALAYSIA
Don’t forget me. Don’t forget how I love watching Duncan girls’ scream.

MISTER DICK
Woman,you gonna be in heaven like the Holy god damn ghost come Anglemania! Old man, I plan on beatin’ yer daughter so bad every man in her family down to her great great great grandpappy is gonna feel it. Don’t think I can’t do it neither! Your daughter done went down a road that’s gonna leave her lyin in blood. I ain’t got nothing more to say than that, Brannigan.

Mister Dick and Malaysia engage in a passionate and lustful kiss to end the interview.

BRANNIGAN
Fans, stay tuned for more of the OAOAST!

COMING UP NEXT
ANGLEMANIA VI REMATCH
CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE ENTERPRISE
NEXT!

[Chanel #99]

ANGLEMANIA VI REMATCH: CHICKS OVER DICKS VS THE ENTERPRISE

PLZ LISTEN TO THIS SONG AS YOU READ MY VIDEO PACKAGE. OKAY, MOMMY?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSEvISsgaAE

Vincent sits in the ring, silently cursing his team for pissing away their first true chance at wrestling stardom. His associate is much more demonstrative in his disgust, overturning chairs, ring steps and monitors in a futile effort to cope with the tremendous anger building within him.

BUFFER
YOUR WINNER AND NEW OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.....CHICKS OVER DICKS!

“YEAAAAAAA!”

The SoCal girls exchange their usual hug for their victory, and then proceed to mock the downtrodden SCM's ridiculous victory celebration, by doing Lil Jon's finger snapping dance. The fact that two white women from the suburbs can do the dance better then a black guy from South Central and a white guy who has spent half his life in prison is a source of a great shame for the embittered Militia.

VENTURA
THAT'S IT! Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright win it, they're the Anderson Cup Champions!

LEON
Just brilliant.

Mackenzie looks like she's about to faint, acting as if she just won an Oscar rather than witnessed her charges pick up a victory in the Anderson Cup. She and Christian embrace as Moneymaker releases the Cobra Clutch Sleeper, laughing away at the top of his lungs as Mariachi chokes for breath underneath him.

MONEYMAKER
Action must be taken, and the prestige of your championship coupled with my wealth is the exact combination we need to right the wrongs set forth by oppressors. I understand that this is an Inconvenient Truth for you, that is why I am willing to offer you a monetary settlement for your championship belts.

Besieged by indignation, Ally leaps from her chair in horror, casting a disgusted look towards the suddenly pale face of Moneymaker. CPA rises from his seat, readying himself to defend his less then honorable employee should the need arise.
ALIX
Ewwww! I knew it! I knew it! At first I thought you just waiting till you bored me to sleep so you could slip something in my drink and fondle my helpless body. But this is way worse! I would never in fifty trillion, eighty billion, sixty gazillion years sell you...how, much are we talkin' about?

MONEYMAKER
Three hundred thousand dollars.

ALIX
I'll never sell the tag team titles to you!

***
MONEYMAKER
I promise no less than 500,000 and a guaranteed world title shot to the American hero that can lift these tag titles off the demon witches, Chicks Over Dicks!

***
MARTIAL LAW VS COD
When Wright nears the squared circle he tosses the brief case over the ropes, watching with delighted exhilaration as it lands sweetly in the hands of it's intended target Landon Maddix! A contorted evil grin corrupts Landon's face, as he views this simple case as the profound key to unlocking a treasure chest of riches and glory. His heart racing, his mind envisioning a high profile Anglemania match, Landon turns around to vanquish the COD members with his new found weapon.

CRAAAAAAACK!

YEAAAAAAAA!

Cheers? Did eighteen thousand people all of a sudden decide to become Landon Maddix loyalists? Not on your life! The pumping ovation is for Krista Isadora Duncan, who just bludgeoned her opponent with her baseball bat, knocking his chances at fortune into the upper deck

COLE
Eat your heart out Vladimir Guerrero!

With Wright's normally dark skin turned a shade of milky white and his body on the verge of fainting, Krista hooks her KO'ed rival's leg for the pivotal pinfall. At the urging of eighteen thousand screaming wrestling nerds, Charles Robinson turns away from a distraught Megan to score the fall.

CROWD
ONE


CROWD
TWO

Cortez returns to break up the pinfall!

But Alix mows him down with a dropsault!

CROWD
THREE!

***

KRISTA
Theo, I can call you Theo, right? So much shorter then your proper title of degenerate jackass who deserves the most painful death imaginable to man. Theo, if you wanna know what's it's like to work in the oaoast after Chicks Over Dicks gets done with you ask your man, Christian Wright. He knows, he knows all to well. Ask him what's it's like to go from being a top ten wrestler, to not being mentioned at all. Ask him what it's like to go from being the future of the company to being Boheomoth's left over trash. To kill a man and leave him bleeding is nothing, but to kill a man and leave him breathing? That's what we did to Christian.

SOONER BRUSIERS VS CHICKS OVER DICKS
LORELEI DECENZO
For The Bruisers victory over Chicks Over Dicks and subsequent relinquishing of the tag titles to The Enterprise, they will receive six hundred thousand dollars a piece, as well as the guaranteed services of Christopher Patrick Allen in their Sin City Street Fight at Anglemania. Not only that, but we are in negotiations with our Mexican partners Los Conquistadors to lend their assistance to the Bruisers at Anglemania for a nominal fee that will of course be covered by The Enterprise. Most importantly, the tag team titles will be given to The Enterprise in a posh coronation ceremony at Anglemania, featuring keynote speaker, Jeb Bush.

Robinson gets into position to count what's certain to be a match ending pinfall, but this action is for naught, as Frank refuses to pin Alix. It's a strange decision that pushes Mackie to the brink of a heart attack. But as silly as neglecting the pinfall was, BFB's next move, climbing to the top rope, is what truly pushes Mackenzie over the edge.

COLE
What's he doing up there?

MACKENZIE
Exposing himself as a moron. Get down this very instant!

Mackie's misgivings are well founded; Frank is prevented from leaping off his nest by a firm clamp on his ankle. The annoyed brawler turns to his side to see the cause of his entrapment, and finds that it's Melody Nerdly, who he and his brother bound and gagged two weeks ago.

“Get the fuck off me, bitch!” He hollers over the yell of the Sacramento audience.

“Time to die n00b! Let's do this, LEEEERRROOOOOOY JEEEEEENNIIIKKNS!” she responds, and if you got the last part it's time to turn off World Of Warcraft and go outside more often.

WRIGHT (standing up)
Guards, remove her at once!

Frank's struggles with the world's cutest computer geek, present Ally with the perfect opportunity to ascend to this location. She maneuvers her body behind his, which allows her to trap him within a full nelson. The Man of Tomorrow bucks and thrashes against the lovely duo's restraints, but his efforts meet little success. Proceeded by the roar of the crowd, The Hollywood Bad Girl kicks Frank's legs away from the turnbuckle. Gravity does it's part by plummeting the hollering Bruiser to the rock solid hell bellow....

MACKENZIE
No! No! No! No!

After what seems like an eternity of being adrift in space, the pairing falls like a meteor and explodes into the canvas at the hands of a marvelous top rope You have died of dysentery (full nelson face crusher). It's Frank who endures the entirety of terrific boom, and as cheers from the joyous crowd swell above him, his mind, body, and soul fade into a blackness. And with that Alix applies the long awaited cover...

CROWD & MELODY
ONE

CROWD & MELODY
TWO

WRIGHT
It can not be!

CROWD & MELODY
THREE!

ANGLEMANIA VI
The disgust of the crowd subsides for the moment, involuntarily replaced by begrudging amazement at the sight transpiring above their heads; two colossal sparkling green dollar signs descend from an overhanging rafter like angels from the clouds of heaven. They land with brilliant splendor, as smoke steams from the edge of the ramp, creating a shallow mist around the monuments of capitalistic greed. Automatic doors on the front of the signs raise in order to reveal the men who make up the vessels' despised passenger list: Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, both standing firm in their own personal symbol of corruption.

COACH
This stable is a monster! They are a finely tuned wrestling machine, who can dominate for years.

****

The entrance doors give way to the source of this loud proclamation, Ontario's Avril Lavigne. The Multi-Platinum recording artist valiantly steps between the rival leaders to usher peace between the frayed factions. Outfitted in a classic catholic school girl outfit, she belts her infectiously alluring song Girlfriend, while fearlessly bouncing through the maze of jealous violence.

Krista's fierce looking, rumble minded subordinates can't resist the lure of Avril's spunky vocals and upbeat dance moves, and soon mimic her flouncing and prancing leg movements. Krista sags in paralyzing shock over her army of bad bitches abandoning her at the heat of the fight to form a butch lesbian soul train. Clinging Alix tighter then before, Laurel simply guffaws at Krista's misfortune, and shoddy selection of gang members- that is until her group disregards her to fall in line with Avril's dance craze. Soon Miss Lavigne and the converted street toughs form an all female wedge that turns rambunctious gang moves-sudden leg thrusts, right-angled knee flexions, pelvic lunges-into fluid ensemble work.

COLE
It's time to get down to the business, and settle the matter of the tag team championships!

****

Moneymaker is scarcely able to get The Hollywood Bad Girl off the top rope, before his plan goes horribly awry; the speedy champion somehow succeeds in shifting her body in midair so that her arms can tighten around his neck, and she can punish him with a diamond cutter!

****

The force of his furious attack doubles Alix over, and morphs her into a sitting duck for the clubbing forearm he drops across her back. The blow buckles her knees and sinks her to the canvas, where the pain spreads through her joints with terminal quickness. As the agony keeps her glued to the mat, The Billion Dollar Heir bounds to the ropes. He bounces back with his fist held at a tight 45 degree angle, and once he reaches Alix, he gracefully timbers sideways and lets his Fistful Of Dollarsfurther dismantle her back.

****

Alternating waves of hot and cold wash over her face as the most violent blow yet wrenches her insides. But the worst is yet to come for Miss California, as Moneymaker's hands weave around her neck for his signature sleeperhold. Krista has no intentions of allowing her rival to see the move to completion, however, and summons a supernatural show of strength to brush through his clinch, and spin behind him. Moneymaker efforts an attempt to whirl to face Krista, but his neck is held in place by her soft hands. Then his whole body is capsized by Krista's finisher Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one! (Reverse x-factor) Moneymaker now lies on the canvas a two hundred thirty five pound ruin, grey-faced and shaking.

Krista extends her arm forward to hook his leg for a crucial pinfall. The audience gets to their feet and counts along with each slap of the mat.

CROWD
ONE

CROWD
TWO

A recuperated Christian Wright races into the ring to rescue his fleeting title hopes. But Alix's clears the ring ropes to cut him off with a dropkick!

****

CPA does one final dirty deed, placing Moneymaker onto Krista's body for a pin in his team's favor. He then exits the ring to receive congratulations from Mackenzie, and insults from the fans.

“Oh, Squire Silverman!” Christian begins, standing innocently on the ring apron. “At this timely crux one must presume true that a counting of the pinfall would be of utmost coruscation. Oui, oui?”

Silverman understood only one word from that sentence. Unfortunately for Krista it happened to be “pinfall” thus the referee departs his argument with Alix to administer the count.

ONE

COLE
Silverman, you blind turd! Didn't you see what happened?

TWO

THREE!!

Much like Wright is a premature ejaculator so is Mackenzie a premature speaker, for Krista kicks out just seconds before the final count. Moneymaker's face freezes with disgust as he glares at Silverman, straining with all his might to not pummel the man where he stands.

****

, The Natural has zero wishes to let his brains be dribbled along the canvas, and hooks his arms underneath her shoulder blades. Soon an eternal struggle is waged over Krista's DDT and Christian's Wright Off (Ryden Bomb), with every fan in the city firmly on the side of Miss California. Despite the fan support, it's Wright's overpowering strength that beats out Krissy's lunatic rage, and the Wright Off is completed with horrible results. Silverman counts the ensuing pin as Krista cries hoarsely...

ONE

TWO

THREE!!

No, Krista lifts her shoulder upwards, and the fans, who had resigned themselves to an Enterprise victory, are caught off guard with euphoria

****
Thankfully for Krista, Alix is slightly more action-oriented then she, and pulls her clear of Wright's trajectory. OOOMPH! Wright lands with a nauseating thud onto his comrade's chest, instantly claiming all the air in both blue bloods' lungs. The Natural lifts his battered bones off Moneymaker, much more concerned with his own health then that of his nearly knocked out associate. But he's offered no time to lick his wounds, as Alix pulls him upright and attaches him into a full nelson. Before he can even stage a proper defense, he's being flung downwards, courtesy of Alix's You Have Died of Dysentery (full nelson face crusher).

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” scream the audience, as the referee crawls back into the battleground.

With the official having returned to position, and all of Moneymaker's allies subdued, Krista begins what could very well be the final move of the contest. She sprints to the edge of the ring, and ascends to the highest cable. The ropes work as a launching pad, shooting her lionsaulting figure directly towards her fallen foe. She impacts precisely on the spot Wright just crashed landed into, robbing Theodore of whatever wind or energy remained in his body. Billy Silverman administers the resulting count, while the Anglemania crowd prays to the heaven's above that Moneymaker will be kept down for three pivotal seconds

CROWD
ONE

CROWD
TWO

CROWD
THREE!

COLE
She got it! It's over!

A resonating shout of celebration from the audience rocks the dome to it's very foundation. As a recorded version of All Good Things seeps out of the speakers, the fans high five each other, acting as if they were ones on the verge of losing their tag team titles. Buffer rises from his chair, preparing his voice to be heard over the deafening swell of noise.

The green strobe lights wash across the entrance stage, as yellow lights flicker on the floor. Beneath a video screen that displays The Enterprise’s greastest triumphs and conquests, steps the impeccably dressed Christian Wright and his robed partner, Theodore Moneymaker. The fans do not warmly receive the duo, and their jeers and boos bounce across the arena walls. Tuning out this disdain, The Enterprise representatives pass each other hand shakes and then make their way down the ramp.

BUFFER
The following is an Anglemania VI rematch! Now making their way to the ring, introducing first from Washington DC, The Natural CHRISTIAN WRIIIIIGHT! And from Vero Beach, Florida, he is an Angle Award winning billion-dollar heir, he is The Messiah…MISTER THEODORE MONEYMAKER!

Moneymaker throws his arms up into the sky, throwing green pyro into the air atop the video screen. Wright stands at his side, applauding his leader and singing his praises to a crowd that doesn’t wish to hear it.

COLE
Our night of Anglemania rematches continues with the renewing of an intense rivalry between Chicks Over Dicks and The Enteprise. Christian Wright has faced America’s Sweethearts two times in his Anglemania career, coming up short on both ends. The story between these four is very well known, with Moneymaker exposing Jade as Krista’s child, Alix leaving Krista to join The Enterprise, COD battling The Enterprise all throughout the summer of 07. So much history here in this match.

Hey, hey, you, you
I don't like your girlfriend!
No way, no way!
I think you need a new one
Hey, hey, you, you
I could be your girlfriend!

Hey, hey, you, you!
I know that you like me!
No way, no way!
No, it's not a secret
Hey, hey, you, you!!
I want to be your girlfriend!

COLE
The return of Chicks Over Dicks is at hand!

There’s a tremendous outpouring of screams and cheers for the soon to be arriving four time tag team champions. While the always glamorous pink pyro waterfall streams from the ceiling, the chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!' are already out in full force. Joining the festive atmosphere is a stunning red pyro fountain. The glorious displays of pyro power create a wealth of fiery sparks that scream across the dim stagging. Once the red and pink pyro disappears, the usual golden wall flames across the entirety of the entrance stage, it's sonorous shout sounding something like screaming locomotives.

COACH
I hate that one!

Past the misty remnants, stands Krista Isadora Duncan.  Her buxom chest strains to be free of a tight yellow diamond encrusted tank top. A flirty lace skirt, slit on each side, showcases an ample portion of gorgeous legs that pour into black platform boots. She glides her fingers through her golden hair, and looks directly into the camera, offering an arrogant smirk as her gift to the viewing audience. All around her, Alix treats the entrance stage as a giant race track, darting from one side to the other, to pump their southern fanbase into a frenzy.  A white A&F t-shirt hangs to teasing exposure of her midriff. Tiny white shorts reach no further then the steeply jutting slope of her butt, her enticing cheeks shimmering tan, round and voluptuous.  Ally's prancing is cut short, the moment Krista's hands intertwine with her's. Krissy twirls Alix through the gleaming lights, before hiding her within the loving safety of her arms. Krista's gentle hands treasure her body, kneading it's every curve and contour, enjoying the feel of her soft, silky skin. Alix gasps softly at the touch of her fingers on her hot flesh.  She regains enough of her composure from the tender caress to toss her head over her shoulder, and flip a kiss into the camera.

BUFFER
And now teaming together for the first time in over a year, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time 24/7 champion, a multi time Angle Award winner….ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a  Hollywood Walk of Famer, the 2009 Wrestler of the year, best selling author, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is the OAOAST’s Miss Money In The Bank, Krista Isadora Duncan! Together they are four time world tag team champions, Hollywood “It” Girls, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks!

“C-O-D! C-O-D!”

When the girls reach the ring, Alix grabs Krista by the waist and hoists her on the apron with startling ferocity that Krista wouldn't expect from the normally submissive Alix. With her ego swelled to bursting by the unparalleled adulation of the audience, Alix coolly reclines against the apron. She feels the smoothness of Krista's legs coil around her bare stomach, and her body tingles in immediate response. While Ally stands lost within the rapture of the pleasuring touch, Krista passes a middle finger towards the battery of cameras that flash away.

COLE
Krista Isadora Duncan set to meet up with Mister Dick at Anglemania with Lindsay Lohan on hand. An explosive match on an explosive Anglemania card!

Moneymaker snarls as he examines Krista’s hateful stare. Contempt coloring his face, he steps into a lockup with the fitness queen. He doesn’t stay in that position for long, using it as a trap to lower her defenses so he can wing a punch into her throat. Now short of breath, she’s incapable of stopping the billion dollar heir from whipping her into the ropes. When she returns to her foe, he wraps his hands around her slender waist and upends her with a back body drop. But her incredible agility sees her come down on her Guess pumps, and as Moneymaker spins around one of those very same pumps comes screaming towards his head. Fortunately for him he catches hold of her heel to stop it from impaling his skull. The Billion Dollar Heir taunts her his insufferable laughter, and knows full well he can slam her at any time. Krista hops back and forth on her free foot, trying to set up an enziguri.

“Krista, Krista!” Alix shouts. “That’s not gonna work! You need to do something smarter!”

“Such as?”

“I’ll go get your shotgun, and see if anyone has any dynamite!”

As this is not a Roadrunner cartoon, Krista forgoes the offer of dynamite and succeeds in pulling off her enziguri!

“No fair, you never let me exercise my right to bear arms.” Alix complains as the fans cheer.

Alix is given other reasons to complain when CW enters the ring and clubs his long time tormentor in the back. That simple cheap shot does enough to buy Moneymaker the time he needs to get back upright. His forearms come down on Krista’s back, causing her so much damage that she drops down to her knees. She isn’t allowed a chance to stay there and catch her breath though; Moneymaker hauls her inside a front facelock and pulls her upright. His hands clutch onto the waistband of her skirt and within seconds she’s lifted into the air and brought to the ground with a vertical suplex. The Billion Dollar Heir then floats over and barks at referee Buzzlefoxer to count the pin…

ONE!

TWO!

But Krista’s shoulder comes off the canvas. Displeased with what he believes to be a slow count, Moneymaker proceeds to lay into the elderly referee for being…elderly.

“Dude, you have a poppy seed in your teeth. It’s a big one you might wanna go to the bathroom and check that out.”  Alix helpfully comments.

Moneymaker ceases his grousing to offer a deeply annoyed growl at Alix. Refocusing his attention back on Krista, he brings her upright with a grip on her luscious yellow locks. A knee strike finds its way into her midsection, a blow she’s able to absorb with her six pack abs.  But a punch to the throat keeps her on the defensive and allows The Messiah to throw her into the ropes. Running back to Moneymaker, she’s caught in set up for hip toss. But, she resorts to grade school bullying and stomps on his shoe. The Billion Dollar heir hollers with agony, and allows himself to have Krista rest her 5 million dollar leg on his neck. The other half of her ten million dollar insurance baby flips her into the air, breaking her fully out of Moneymaker’s grip. The Floridian is deeply upset at her escape and with a snarl he lunges at her with a lariat. But Krista ducks bellows his strike and quickly swings to his back to hook in a rear waistlock. Unfortunately even her fitness queen strength can’t hold the muscular tycoon, and he easily shreds apart her grip to whirl into a waistlock of his own.  Eschewing any moves that can be performed from that position, he smacks her in the back of the head and drops her to her knees. Her hands find her aching skull, and she cries out in agony over the misery he’s caused her.

“Now face the mighty power of Moneymaker!” He cries and then brings Miss Money In The Bank into a setup for a back suplex. He raises her into air, preparing for the lethal suplex. Despite his powerful strength, Krista manages to flip out his hold out his hold. A disgusted Moneymaker turns around to flatten Krista and instead gets a wad of spit in the face!

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

Alix isn’t as pleased, “Krista, I know the whole spit versus swallow thing doesn’t apply to us, but still that was kinda rude.”

Krista seems to agree with her girlfriend’s sentiments and pulls out napkin from her top. Will she wipe Moneymaker’s face off? No, she merely spits on the napkin and wipes the spit on Moneymaker’s face. This infuriates the Billion Dollar Heir, but there’s little he can do to assuage his anger as Krista’s well insured legs throw him over with a beautiful hurricanrana! Just as soon as he touches down on the canvas, The Enterprise CEO is making a quick return to his feet. But he continues to be stymied by Krista who puts him down with a majestic springboard moonsault lariat.

“Now face the mighty power of my middle finger.” Krista taunts him in mocking version his haughty voice and then promptly gives him the middle finger.

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream and they continue to scream as Krista applies the tag to Alix. The audience’s cries grow all the louder when the brunette hottie steps into the ring for the first time in a year.

“Alix basks in the adulation of her fans. She smiles at their loving reception for welcome return to OAOAST.”

“Are you narrating yourself?” Krista wonders.

“Totally! It may be the best idea I’ve ever had.”

“Uh-huh. And for normal humans it’s the worst idea anyone’s ever had.”

“Alix frowns, but can still hold some joy in knowing that her bouncing breasts are not the work of skilled Beverly Hills doctors.”

Moneymaker throws himself off the ropes, hoping to gain speed for a billion dollar knee lift. But as he nears Alix with knees raised, the Hollywood Bad Girl leaps towards him and snaps his entire body back with a harsh neckbreaker. He quickly scurries back to his feet, but finds himself under attack from a wave of strikes from her furry boots.  Miss Spezia then strikes a preying mantis pose and makes odd hissing sounds before striking her foe with a karate chop.

COLE
Alix hasn’t lost any of what made her Alix, I see!  Still the same goofy but effective girl she’s always been.

The Latina babe takes hold of Moneymaker’s legs and then sling shots him towards his corner. Wright realizes his boss is in urgent need of a breather and applies an emergency tag. This does not, however, prevent the billion dollar air’s lower back from being mangled by the rolling shoulder charge of Miss Spezia. Eager to save his employer from further beatings, Wright hastily ushers Mister Moneymaker out the ring. He then casts a stern glare towards Alix, as if to say he won’t fall for any of her tomfoolery.

“Hi, Christy, umm everytime ya wrestle one of us, Queen Fairy Mary sprinkles some miracle gro on your happy place, aaaaand maybe you just should close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes? Woman, art thou mad? I will do nothing of the sort!”

Alix shrugs her shoulders, and resigns herself to the “difficult” task of having to humiliate CW once more. She runs towards him, angling her body low to avoid the spinning elbow he throws at her. Her run pushes her off the ropes, and when she returns she leaps with her arm around CW’s neck for a tornado DDT. But The Natural is well prepared for this move, and places his hand on her lean stomach to shove her away. Seeing her land near the corner brings a smile to CW’s face, as he feels she’s in perfection position to be flattened by a lariat.  But when he charges on on her, the speedster effortlessly slides away leaving him to suffer an awful crash into the ring posts. As the audience cheers his misfortune The Hollywood Bad Girl leaps upward and strikes him in the face with a leaping heel kick. He screams out in agony and sags against the posts, blood trickling out the corner of his mouth. Alix then cartwheels forward and unfurls her body into a lethal elbow smash that strikes him perfectly in the jaw.  Wright stumbles out the corner, and that gives Alix the chance to run her furry boots up turnbuckles. As CW turns around to get read on his speedy foe, she throws herself backwards and crashes into him with a corckscrew moonsault! She then hooks onto his khaki pants for an all important pin…

ONE!


TWO!

CW brings his shoulder off the canvas, which does nothing to please the sold out audience. Less annoyed then the North Carolina fans, the always cheery Alix begins bringing CW back to his feet. Her good mood is however, washed away when the snooty superstar shoots an elbow into her ribs. Three more strikes follow, and cause her enough weakness and pain that CW is able to throw her into the ropes. Her path ventures her too close to Mister Moneymaker, and her former boss swats her in the back of her with her fist.

“Owwwie! Krista, the invisible man is here, and he’s trynna grab my brains! Which is funny, because you always say I have no brains, and I always say if I didn’t how would I”

“That wasn’t the invisible man, that was Moneymaker, stupid!”

“Oh!” Alix exclaims and then turns around and smacks The Enterprise CEO right in the face. The audience can barely cheer that display of womanly authority before CW captures control of Alix with an inverted facelock. The plucky sprite (I like that term, sprite) wrestles against CW’s grip, and quickly manages to get her fuzzy wuzzy boots onto the second rope. She then uses her gymnast worthy agility to fling her body backwards, bringing herself out of Wright’s grip and onto her feet. Before Wright even has a chance to damn her escape, our heroine is dropkicking him through the ropes.

“I’m gonna wack you good!” Alix shouts and then runs up the top rope in order to leap off it.  Her lovely tan legs wrap around CW’s neck and hurricanrana him back into the ring. Although dizzied he makes a shockingly fast return upright, and spots Alix pushing herself off the ropes. Having seen her arrival, he’s able to snap powerslam her over into a stunning pin…

ONE!

TWO!

Alix lifts her shoulder off the canvas, which greatly pleases OAOAST Marks.  But, the audience can’t continue their  thanks to Wright dropping a set of elbows onto Alix’s collarbone. He uses a front facelock to guide her too the canvas, and a handful of her booty shorted romper lets him lift her into the sky. Alix doesn’t wish to incur any damaging move from this setup and begins rifling her knees into his skull. This tactic finds success and a pained Wright is forced to drop her back on her feet. Unfortunately for her, he recovers rather quickly and as she leaps up for a dropkick he counters her into a spine buster! As Krista and the fans recoil in shock, The Natural attempts a pin…

ONE!

TWO!

Again Alix kicks out!

“YEEEAAAAAAAAA!”

“Staid squire, far be it for me to hold compunction to your pinfall counting, but I dare say that pin may existed for the proper three second duration.” Wright comments, marking that as the most polite complaint ever lodged against a referee. Satisfied at having been heard, Wright clamps down on Alix as she stands back up with an abdominal stretch.

COLE
The Enterprise has seen more turnover than I believe any stable in the OAOAST, and that’s in most part due to Moneymaker’s terrible treatment of his workers. But Wright has always stood by his boss, never once faltering.

“Hey, I know I’m supposed to be on the like the verge of death or whatever, but you mind if I tell ya a story?”

“Insolent tart! I hold no wishes to play audience to your tales!”

“I think you’re gonna like this one, dude.”

“Be quick about it. There’s only a few more seconds before your rib cage snaps.’

“Okay so one time in high school was hiking with my soccer team, and oh no I got lost! And I’ve seen Lion King and I know the types that hang out in forests and Scar ain’t gonna do me like he did Mufasa. This Lion’s got bite, baby! Anyway so I’m wandering through Shrewood Forest robbing from the rich givin to the poor and this old mountain dude stops me, right?”

“This is absurd! You shouldn’t even be able to take a breath!”

“Yeah, funny how that works. So this old huge burly mountain dude stops me and cute 18 year old co-ed trapped in lonely woods with scary mountain guy? First thing I think is, oh no I’m missing teletubbies. And he’s like, you gotta worry about bears! He said the best way to protect against bears is if we lie face down on top of each other. And he lied on top of me to protect me. But Bears smell fabric softener real well so we had to take off our clothes! He said movement also scares bears, so he started wiggling on top of me. It must’ve been really exhausting because he kept grunting and panting. But he was super nice because he kept asking me how I liked it I wanted him to go faster. I guess I looked famillar to because he asked me who my daddy was a few times. And he must’ve kept his water bottle because it kept on poking me, and I guess it broke because after a while some of it got on my back and it like deflated or something.”

WRIGHT


The latest humiliation in a long list of humiliations that could stretch to the outer reaches of spaces concludes with a weakened CW being hip tossed to the ground. His large (small?) shame is immediately covered up by his hands. But his move to save his reputation comes at the cost of his face, as Alix decides to use it as the dance floor to introduce the newest dance craze to the nation….

“Charlotte, this is who I be! Got my homegirl the Notrious KID kickin it live with me. Bitch I’m wild! Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix! When I hit the dance flo, I be do Freaky Alix! Freaky Alix! When Christian busts down his doh and finds his mom freakin me like a ho he’s doing the Freaky Alix! Now you can lean wit it, and you can drop wit it, and I don’t think Christian’s rape charges gonna be acquit. Now get it! Now get it! Now get it! That’s what the inmates’ll say when Christian drops the soap. Mexican Mafia, hit the booty do! Black guerrilla family, hit the booty do! Aryan Nation, hit the booty do! Christian can’t escape prison guards settin up blockades, everyone watchin’ like it’s thanksgiving day parades, boy, I hope Christian don’t get that Aids. Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix! Do the Freaky Alix!”

The hottest dance since the superbowl shuffle comes to a close with The Hollywood Bad Girl dropping a leg across Wright’s neck.  Happy with her choreographing debut, Alix scoots onto CW for a fall…

ONE!

TWO!

Wright pushes his way out the pin, and immediately starts looking for a way out this troubling situation. Salvation doesn’t seem to be forthcoming due to a whistling Alix bringing him off the canavs. Keeping up her whistling while she works, Alix latches onto CW’s arm in order to set up a single arm DDT. But her comparatively weak grip can’t hold the 2005 rookie of the year, and he easily busts out. Alix is quick to recover, however, and attacks The Natural with flesh searing knife edge chops. Having weakened him with the simple blows, she runs to the ropes and leaps into the air to roll through her foe with a high flipping lariat! Kipping up, she busts out a bit of head banging before sending a dropkick towards Wright. But once again, CW evades the simple strike, by capturing hold of her legs. Alix falls to the canvas, but with her legs still tangled inside Wright’s arms she’s left at his mercy. What mercy he shows isn’t much; The Natural throws his body backwards and tosses Alix into the canvas with a wheelbarrow suplex. She lies sprawled out on the canavs, her agonized face shrouded by her chocolate hair.  Wright laughs at this misfortune that’s came to her as he moves to his corner and applies the tag with Moneymaker.

“BOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The Billion Dollar Heir brings her to her feet where he attaches her into a front facelock. He chuckles at Krista and then raises Alix into air. After a delay to show off his superior strength, he falls backwards, torpedoing her neck straight into the ring with a deadly brain buster DDT! The impact of the deathly attack shocks Alix into long tortured screams, ones that cause Krista to urge her to get up and fight back. But Krissy’s wish remains ungranted, and her mood only worsens when she watches Moneymaker drive a fistful of dollars into her upper back.

COLE
The loss at Anglemania VI hurt Moneymaker very deeply, ever since that night he’s gone out of his way to torment and torture Krista.

Feeling that the former Enterprise member deserves more punishment before she’s pinned, Moneymaker happily brings her into a standing head scissors. A throat slash gesture infuriates Krista, and draws her into the ring to level sharp threats at Moneymaker. The tycoon only smiles at her harsh words and proceeds to spike Alix’s head into the canvas with a pile driver! Her hands instantly find her now sore neck, and pain stretches across a face reddened with exhaustion.  The billion dollar heir wishes to keep the pressure on the Californian, and yanks her off the mat to tighten his arms around her in a sleeper hold. Alix struggles against his noose like grip, fighting with her every ounce of energy for her freedom. But her efforts are for naught as Mister Moneymaker brings her crashing into the canvas with a sleeper drop. After promising Clem his retirement fund will be well cared for, the unscrupulous  businessman hooks the leg for a fall…

ONE!

TWO!

Alix kicks out, which lets the fans breathe a little easier. Moneymaker, however, retracts all promises made to Clem and assures the elderly referee he’ll spend his dying days in an outhouse. Finished dressing down the official, Moneymaker pulls Alix up by her arm and uses it to fling into the ropes. On her return he attempts to brandish her with an overhand right, but much to his chagrin she slides her body between his legs. Not giving him a moment to turn around, the Latina leaps onto his shoulders. She agilely swings around and throws him over with a crowd pleasing hurricanrana! Seeing his boss go down with such force spurs The Natural into the ring, wielding a lariat.

“Uh-oh, I’m in deep pickles!” Alix cries. But the cute brunette solves her own problem by leaping forward and nearly concussing The Natural with a spinning wheel kick. She celebrates with a round of disco dancing that’d make Vinny proud or perhaps wonder if his purpose in the OAOAST is now irrelevant. Either way her flashback to 70s is interrupted by The Billion Dollar Heir snatching her into a rear waistlock. But Moneymaker’s hold doesn’t do him much good; Alix grabs onto his neck and uses it to flip herself behind her foe. Limiting herself to a brief two-step routine, she crushes Moneymaker’s neck into the canavs with an inverted DDT!

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!  ALIX!” the fans cheer as Alix proceeds to use Moneymaker’s back as a surfboard. No not the move, an actual surfboard. Once done hanging ten, Alix leaps off the heir to the Moneymaker fortune and makes the tag with Krista! The fitness queen uses the ropes to propel herself with a shooting star press towards the wounded Moneymaker. But his trusted right hand man comes to his aid and clotheslines her right the air! She touches down with gruesome impact, her neck contorting awkwardly upon hitting the canvas. Her screams and those of the audience’s fill the air, as Alix panics on the ring apron. Alix’s fear isn’t eased any, when Moneymaker scrapes Krista’s carcass off the mat and lifts it onto his shoulders for a powerbomb. But both Alix and the fans are given a treat by Krista slipping out Moneymaker’s grasp and striking him with the x-factor!

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

Krista dives on top of her hated rival for a pinfall. But before Buzzlefoxer can even think to score this latest fall, CW is pulling Krista off his associate. With one hand on her ankle, he leads her upright, hoping to hold her in place for a rising Moneymaker. But his plan results only in failure as Krista knocks him away with a majestic back flip kick. Wright has served as good cannon fodder for Moneymaker, and the billion-dollar heir jumps Krista from behind with pointed elbow strikes.  His arms fall across her waist, and that hold grants him the power to throw her backwards with a bridging german suplex! As the fans cringe from the devastating nature of the hold, Buzzlefoxer makes his count…

ONE!

TWO!

But Alix breaks up the pin!

COLE
Folks, we have to take a quick commercial break, but please don’t go away, we’ve got more coming up!

COMMERCIAL

Returning from break, a wounded Krista is trying to rise from the mat on her own accord. Her enemy emphatically tries to show her that it would've been wiser to stay on the mat and get pinned, by throwing a sidekick towards her midsection. But she catches firm hold of his shoe, indefinitely delaying the strike. She shakes her head like an admonishing mother, then dizzies her rival by spinning him in a 360 rotation. When the tycoon comes back to face her, she gives him a taste of his own medicine by striking him in the gut. The sex kitten then sweeps around Moneymaker, and catches him into an inverted 3/4th face. Seconds later she flips forward into a black and gold blur, violently twisting her adversary to the ground with a flipping neckbreaker. A grotesque pain seeps into Moneymaker’s clobbered neck, as the crowd bestows Krista’s sensational attack with an enormous cheer. But The Enterprise’s dirty tactics rear their uglyhead once more with Wright entering the ring to clobber Krista with a side Russian leg sweep.

Moneymaker throws Miss Money In The Bank into the corner where she slams front first into the turnbuckles. Having plenty of padding in the chest area, Krista is able to shrug off the blow, and when Moneymaker makes a mad charge towards her she counters with an elbow to his face. The fans cheer as they watch the most hated man in the OAOAST stagger backwards with hands shielding his sore face. Krista keeps Wright docile by lifting up her skirt just enough to show some of her outer thigh, and blowing him a kiss. More worried about his fast expanding beef burrito than Mister Moneymaker, Wright stays on the outside to watch Krista come off the second rope with a cross body block. However, Moneymaker recovers and shifts to his side to plant Krista into the canvas with a brutal DDT! She shrieks in agony, feeling as though her head had been split open with a pick axe. Seeing her misery brings a smile to Moneymaker’s face, and he decides to share the joy with CW and makes a tag to his friend.

“CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!”

Wright snaps at the incredibly annoying OAOAST Marks “SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” they chant back.

COACH
We always got a great and classy crowd in the OAOAST. The kind of family atmosphere you can feel comfortable bringing your kids to.

Drawing of knowing she’s not alone in her quest to make Wright’s life a miserable hell, Krissy lifts herself off the canvas. Problematically, she raises herself directly into the waiting clutches of her enemy's front face lock. Wright clamps down onto her skimpy micro skirt then foists her into her air, holding her into position to showcase what he believes to be impressive strength. Her flowing blond hair spills freely across his arm, while he giggles treacherously over the pain he's soon to inflict upon her. As the audience jeers the predicament he’s forced Krista into, The Natural dives backwards and spikes Krista’s head into the canvas with a punishing brain buster. The fans react with horrified shrieks, as a replay of the devastating hold flashes on the video screens. His teeth shine with a satisfied chuckle, as he goes for a pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!    

Krista kicks out, and the fans loudly sing her name in celebration. Wright feels incredible frustration over failing to gain a three count and so takes that frustration out on Alix by elbowing her off the ring apron. Alix falls over onto the outside mats, struggling to cope with the headache Wright has just caused her. Smirking with pleasure over his misdeed, Wright returns to Krista, who’s managed to find her way back upright. His arms slide around her thin waist and then bring her into the air, before violently slamming her to the canvas with a side slam. Krista hollers out in pain, hearing the awful sound of her bones cracking against the solid mat. Wright stretches his body across her’s for another pinfall…

ONE!

TWO!

Krista gets her shoulder off the canvas, and is punished by a round of closed fists from The Natural. He brings her to her feet and throws her into the ropes. Lowering his head, he expects her to leap frog him. But these expectations go unmet and the wrestler of the year is thrown to the canvas by a crowd popping sunset flip!

CROWD
ONE!

CROWD
TWO!

Wright lifts his shoulder up at the last possible microsecond.  Rushing back to his feet, he’s able to meet Krista with a European uppercut that sends her massive sweater puppets a bouncing

WRIGHT


Fully aware that there’s absolutely zero hope for his libido charged partner, Moneymaker makes sure Krista can’t seize the advantage by leveling her with a diving lariat.  Senile Clem doesn’t seem to recall that this isn’t a handicap match and so allows Moneymaker to stay in the ring to plot out a double team. Together he and The Natural throw Krista into the ropes, and as the blonde beauty returns they grab her well insured legs and launch her flipping figure high into the sky. To the fans outrage and horror, the walk of famer comes down directly on her neck. So hurt by this gruesome landing, she can hardly manage a single cry of pain. As Wright clears out the ring, Moneymaker attempts a cover….

ONE!

TWO!

Another heroic kickout by Krista brings upon a wave of fury from Moneymaker and he chews out both opponent and referee alike. Yet its only Krista who has to suffer physical torment; Moneymaker picks her up merely to smash her back against his knee with a harmful backbreaker.

“MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!”

“SILENCE!” CW screams

As the fans ignore Wright’s orders for quietude, the money maven whips Krista into the ropes. Though she returns with lightening speed, Moneymaker is still ready for her, and leaves her lying with a spinning elbow. Looking over his shoulder at his whimpering handiwork, he smiles and offers himself a round of applause.

“Now you know why the call me The Messiah!”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Moneymaker’s mere words might as well be rousing gospel to the crowd, as they’re even more infuriated to see him throw their beloved heroine to the outside mats. The front row fans do their best to rally and encourage Krista, but their pleas fall on deaf ears. Wright lifts her up and uses her body as battering ram to run straight through the guard rail.  She screams in pain, a pain that grows horribly with the stomps of CW Brook’s Brothers loafer.

“You better leave her alone, meanie!”

“And what if I chose not to?” Wright calls back to Alix

ALIX TO CW


Under fire from a missile launch of bottles, balls, and OAOAST merchandise, CW knows its time to surrender and relinquishes Krista back into the ring. However, to Ally’s great displeasure, The Natural follows Krista inside, eying down a miserable double team with his partner in white collar crime. Together they hurl Krista into the ropes, and as she returns they step forward to lacerate her with a double lariat. But Krista ducks down and serves them both a BLUE BALL SPECIAL!

“YEAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Wright is seemingly spared from the extraordinary pain when Krista abruptly pulls her hand away. Unfortunately a new, more maddening pain appears when Krista stares at her hand and shrieks “AH SYPHLIS!”

Not giving The Natural a chance to defend himself against STD allegations, Krista chucks Moneymaker into him and the pair topple over to huge cheers from the North Carolina fans. The good mood continues as Krista dives backwards and makes the tag with The Hollywood Bad Girl.

COLE
Alix back in this match!

Moneymaker is eager to make certain Alix poses no threat to his team and charges her with a shoulder block. But Alix uses the ropes to aid in her counter, and upends the onrushing billionaire with a spring board dropkick! Leaving Moneymaker behind to nurse his wounds, The Hollywood Bad Girl once again uses the ropes as a launching pad. This time her path carries her towards CW, and she violently twists his neck with a flipping neckbreaker!

ALIX


“YEAAAAAAAA!”

COACH
Is that dog humping your teddy bear?

COLE
Mister Poppers! Noooooooo!

Moneymaker retries his effort to calm down Alix’s surge. But he doesn’t even get within inches of the Latina cutie, as Krista spears him through the ropes to grand cheers from the audience.  Both competitors touch down on the outside mats with hard, booming impact, but even still Krista manages to scramble up to her feet.

“Charlotte, I didn’t come here to wrestle, I could do that against hobos in Skid Row  on Sundays like Alix . I came to get drunk, where the disgusted eyes of my youngest daughter can not fill me with shame. Lay a beer on me!”

Krista gets several beers and more than happily downs their contents. What she can’t stomach for fear of alcohol poisoning, she empties onto Moneymaker’s body as he uses the guardrail to pull himself upright.  More frustrating and more painful for The Messiah is the DDT that leaves him lying in a pool of over priced, watered down, Bud Light!

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

Buzzlefoxer lectures Krista over her wastefulness reminding her that in World War I he used to have to pose as an Austrian hooker just to drink yeast from the taps in Italy. Due to his preoccupation with telling Krista old war stories, he falls to notice Alix has bundled up CW with a victory roll. The audience and the fitness queen urge the referee to do his rather simple job as three seconds stretch painfully past.

“BOOOOOO!”  the venom from the audience is not only for Clem’s horrible referring, but also for Mister Dick who charges down the aisle with chair in hand! Despite Krista’s quick move to intercept him, The Human Hard On slides into the ring where his chair falls across Alix’s head. Just as soon as he enters, so does he depart, rushing through stands to elude a pursuing Krista!

COACH
Thank god for The Dick! Pin them! Pin them!

Wright rolls Alix’s dazed and beaten body over for a pinfall that audience dreads with agony.

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!

DING DING DING DING DING!

COACH
A huge win for The Enterprise! A huge win!

Wright holds his hands up in glorious triumph as The Enterprise’s theme song returns to the arena. On the outside, Moneymaker is only vaguely aware of what’s occurred, but his small recognition is enough to bring on a tiny chuckle of satisfaction.

COLE
Yes, indeed. Unfortunately thanks to an assist from Mister Dick, The Enterprise has claimed a victory over their greatest rivals in Chicks Over Dicks.  But like Lakers/Celtics, and Yankees/Red Sox, there’s still more to be written between these four.

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

LORELEI DECENZO backstage in the VICE office with…


MORGAN NERDLY

LORELEI
Morgan, I require a favor.

MORGAN
Anything for you, Lori.

LORELEI
I need you to end your friendship with Jade.

MORGAN
Okay, anything for you besides ending my friendship with Jade. I know you and her maybe don’t get along-

LORELEI
You don’t understand. I despise that girl.

MORGAN
Definitely don’t get along. Really, despise? Despise is a strong word. Dislike, hated, despise, loathe, abhor. You’re very high up there.

LORELEI
Jade has an…unfortunate habit of letting down those who put faith into her. I used to be in your position. Hope, love, friendship, I invested all of those into Jade. I saw her turn her back on her own Uncle, two of her closest friends, merely for a fraction of Mister Moneymaker’s bank account, and I was still foolish enough to believe she was a genuine person. I befriended her outright, gave her the wisdom of my hard fought battles as a business woman, and a pillar of beauty. I took her under my wing once upon a time, I wanted her to be the next Lorelei DeCenzo. But something was wrong. Jade is not the type of person you can trust, nor is she the type you can call friend. She’s opportunistic, and money hungry, and when she saw that opportunity and money were perhaps better outside The Enterprise, she left both the stable and myself behind. No word of thank you, no apology for her humiliating betrayal of The Enterprise, it was like I didn’t even exist. She didn’t care about me, and she doesn’t care about you.

MORGAN
Okay, you’re way off base. Yeah, people suck and most of ‘em are jerks, but not Jade. Whaetever she was to you, I swear she’s changed.

COMMERCIAL

LORELEI
Please. No one ever changes.

MORGAN
She has. The way she treated me when we hung out…I can’t explain it, but no one else has ever been like that me. No one’s ever seemed like they understood the real me, and all the shit that I’ve gone through and all the shit that I’ve done and still just liked me. Everyone’s always wanted something out of me. But Jade…she just wants to be my friend.

LORELEI
Morgan, you need to watch something.

Lori flips on a TV, and with a click of a remote a DVD featuring Jade and Melody’s conversation from last week begins playing.


JADE
Why didn't you tell me?

MELODY
Hadoken this, bitch!

JADE
Melody, that's mean!

MELODY
Not you, Ken. Ken's the bitch. And tell you what?

JADE
Tell me that your little sister is a homicidal maniac!

JADE
I don't think I could be friends with someone like her.

JADE
I'm afraid if I say something wrong, she'll get upset and hurt me. She's dangerous.

MORGAN
Turn it off.

LORELEI
I think you ought to keep watching.

MORGAN
Turn it off.

LORELEI
Morgan, you need…

MORGAN
I said turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!

LORELEI
Morgan, do you need to be alone?

MORGAN
How could she do this to me? I…I…was trying to help her. You have no idea the things that were running through their minds. They wanted to…hurt her. I was protecting her.

LORELEI
I won’t insult you by saying I can relate to how you feel. But, I know how you feel. I know you feel trapped inside your own body,feeling imprisoned in your flesh, forced to suffer the kind of punishment no one should ever suffer. I know you feel like you’re a great cosmic mistake, don’t you?

MORGAN
Yeah…

LORELEI
Like you don’t belong her, like your entire birth was just some royal mix up by the Universe.  I know how it feels like your brain is attacking you, how you can wake up and suddenly your mind assaults you with this depression and these homicidal thoughts. And you think you’re a bad person because of that. You think you’re a monster.

MORGAN
She said she wouldn’t judge me. I believed her. But, people don’t wanna be friends with monsters. No one wants to hang out with the bad guy. I just wanted a chance to be normal.

LORELEI
The universe never gave you that chance, though. It gave you this disease of depression and then it set the rest of the awful, cruel, judgmental world against you. Hasn’t it?

MORGAN
I just wanted to know what its like to feel like every one else. Having friends, hanging out, laughing…

LORELEI
Why? These people are the monsters, not you. They discriminate against you don’t they? They write you off as weird, or emo, or crazy. They minimize your pain. Everyone does, don’t they?

MORGAN
Yeah they do. They do.

LORELEI
You’ve been in and out of mental hospitals before.

MORGAN
I needed help, I needed to be kept away so I couldn’t hurt myself or anyone else.

LORELEI
But society doesn’t care about that. No, they think you’re tainted, and damaged. They look at people with mental health issues with scorn. They openly mock them. Tony Brannigan made a sucide watch joke today, what did you think of that?

MORGAN
I hated it. I hated him. They won’t joke about anything like cancer, or diabities, but they’ll taunt people like me all day long. I’d hurt him so bad….Why did she do this? I thought she was different?

LORELEI
The world is diseased and twisted place, Morgan.

MORGAN
But, I..I..I saw good in myself for the first time when I was with her. I know I’ve hurt people, and I’ve hurt myself, but I wasn’t going to hurt her, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But those people…I just wanted to protect her.

LORELEI
You need to let it out. You deserve revenge.

MORGAN
How? What can I do?

LORELEI
All the anger you feel, all the times you’ve been betrayed, all the times you’ve hurt someone or someone else has hurt you. You can take it all out on her.

MORGAN
I was never going to hurt her.

LORELEI
The world’s backed you against a corner Morgan and its kept you there all your life. You’ve tried to fight back, but you just haven’t been successful. This is your chance to lash out and leave a scar on a world that’s given you tons. Take her women’s title. Take it at Anglemania.

MORGAN
I’ll do it then. If she thinks I’m a monster, then you know what, I’ll be her monster. I’ll hurt her like never before.

LORELEI
Hurt them all like never before.

COMMERCIAL

[Chanel #99]

COLE
Fans, it has been another historic night for the OAOAST, and in just a few moments, we are going to relive what many would call the most pivotal match in OAOAST history.  Two men, now friends, now both the leaders of this company, both inside and outside of the squared circle.  Zack Malibu and Anglesault have built this company on respect that has forged a friendship for nearly six years, however, it wasn't always that way.  Let us take you back now to Anglemania II, and the main event with Anglesault defending the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against Zack Malibu.

FLASHBACK~!

The main event of Anglemania II saw without a doubt the OAOAST's top two athletes embroiled not only in a battle for the World Championship, but for the right to be called The Franchise.  A young Zack Malibu, barely a year into his OAOAST tenure, blazed through the ranks while earning tremendous fan support, and it was on this night that he found himself against a man who could be called nothing less than his polar opposite...the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Anglesault.


Zack and Anglesault don't flinch, both men burning a hole through the other with their glares. Zack extends his hand, and AS looks down, quickly slapping it away. Zack shrugs, and extends his hand again in a show of sportsmanship. AS slaps it away again, and gets in Zack's face, pointing his finger at him and mouthing off. Zack paces back and forth for a second, and turns back to AS, then floors him with a right hand! It's on!
AS got taken by surprise by that shot, and gets to his feet, massaging his jaw. Zack grabs him by the arm and backs him to the ropes, trying for an Irish Whip, only to have AS counter, grabbing him for a belly to belly, but Zack counters with a headlock takeover! AS slips out, coming from behind and locking a full nelson on Malibu. Zack squirms free, breaking from the grip of the champ, then counters by coming behind AS, shoving him towards the ropes while he holds on with a waistlock. Zack tries for a rollup, but Anglesault holds onto the top rope, keeping him grounded. Zack rolls backwards and pops up to his feet, and charges at Anglesault. AS tries a lariat, which Zack ducks, and both men bounce off the ropes...shoulderblock collision in the center of the ring, and neither man budges! We're back to where we started with a staredown, as the crowd roars in approval!

Both men arrived in tremendous condition, neither one willing to back down from the onslaught of the other, and it wasn't until Anglesault resorted to sheer brutality that a full advantage was taken in the contest.  As Zack Malibu tried to land his trademark School's Out superkick, Anglesault snapped, and began mercilessly pummeling the popular superstar.

...NO! NO! ANGLESAULT SLAMMED THE CHAIR ON ZACK'S FOOT! ZACK GOES DOWN!

JR
Oh man, Zack may be hurt and hurt badly.

Zack falls down, clutching at his right ankle, as replays show that AS saw the trademark kick coming, and smashed the chair into Zack.
Zack is screaming, and there is a great fear that his foot may be shattered. Zack tries back away from AS, trying to get the time to evaluate his condition, but Anglesault stays on him like a rabid dog, grabbing his right leg and swinging it so that the foot crashes against the steel steps. Zack reaches up, using the apron for support to get off the floor. He starts to slide in under the bottom rope, but Anglesault grabs the bad leg again...ANOTHER SALT AND PEPPER ANKLELOCK! Anglesault, still standing outside the ring, has Zack in an Anklelock as he was getting back inside!

Despite the beating, Zack stood his ground, surving the rest of the contest on one good leg, doing his best to fend off the vicious assault, until finally Anglesault's will was broken, his body tired from continuously trying to end the hopes and dreams of the popular prep.


ANGLE SLAM...NO! NO! ZACK slips out, LANDING ON ONLY HIS LEFT LEG! ZACK LANDED ON ONE LEG! Kick to the gut...POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS!

1...

2...

3!

* DING DING DING *

As fans and OAOAST stars rushed the ring, Zack Malibu cradled the World Heavyweight Championship for the very first time.  Perhaps more importantly than winning the title itself, was that Zack's drive and will to win, combined with his ability to stand up to the power-mad Anglesault made him a role model to many, and was just the start of his status as the OAOAST Franchise.  Tonight, in the center of the ring, these two men, now the best of friends, will do battle for the OAOAST World Title for the first time since that fateful night.  Will Zack Malibu be able to capture another victory over the company namesake, or will Zack's days as The Franchise be ended as the former champion regains his throne?  

FLASHBACK OVER~!

The bell sounds, and the fans cannot be kept quiet, even as Michael Buffer makes the intro's, for they know what's coming.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event of the evening!

"Medal" hits, and the fans go ballistic, as the return to active duty tonight has brought the crowd to a fever pitch.  Clad in his trademark singlet, ANGLESAULT comes out from the back, looking all too happy to be returning to active competition tonight.  He hits the ring and does warm ups, not even bothering to play to the ground, rather he is focues on the match to come.

"Getting Away With Murder" follows his song, and the fans collectively lose their minds as ZACK MALIBU, the OAOAST WORLD CHAMPION enters through a shower of pyro!  With the World Title fastened around his waist, Zack heads to the ring, seemingly unnerved by the shocking announcement that he would have to make this defense against Anglesault here tonight.

The two lock up, and immediately Anglesault brings Zack to the canvas with a rear waistlock takedown, then slides over him and traps him in a front facelock as the champion starts to come to his feet.  A fireman's carry puts Zack down again, but as 'Sault goes for him, Zack sweeps his feet out from under him!  Both men up, and Anglesault comes at Zack, who catches him and hoists him up for a bodyslam, dropping him to the canvas!  As Anglesault comes to, an arm wrench follows, and then Zack connects with a hard chop before sending Anglesault to the ropes!  He hiptosses him over, but as he leans down, Anglesault kicks him off, then rolls to his feet.  He lifts Zack up off his feet and throws him against the corner, then drives a knee into the gut before bringing Zack out and bieling him across the ring!  Zack reels, and when he comes to Anglesault charges, only to be brought down with a drop toehold!  Zack then traps him in a headlock, but Anglesault pushes up, fighting to his feet with Zack clinging to him.  They come up, and he lifts Zack, only to have Malibu float over...and a SCHOOL'S OUT follows as Anglesault turns around, but he ducks and rolls at the last second, escaping the ring before Malibu can connect!

COACH
Anglesault's still got a little game!

COLE
He's certainly taking this opportunity very seriously, and is doing quite well in keeping up with Zack.

Anglesault comes back into the ring, and Zack wants to tie up as soon as he comes in.  Anglesault reaches up for the lockup, then boots Zack in the stomach, and then strikes with a series of forearm shots.  Malibu gets sent to the ropes, but he ducks under an Anglesault lariat and nails a spinning leg lariat, wiping the OAOAST owner out!  Anglesault quickly rolls to the corner and comes up, putting a hand up in surrender as he tries to gather his thoughts.  Zack starts coming at him, but the champion backs off as his friend looks for a moment to recover...only to come bursting out of the corner with an attempt at a lariat!  Zack ducks that and fires back with a chop that sends Anglesault reeling, then whips him to the corner, only for it to be reserved!  Zack heads for the turnbuckles thanks to AS, but leaps up and backflips over Anglesault, who turns around and immediately nails Zack with a lariat as he lands, then drops for a cover!

ONE!

KICKOUT!

COLE
Anglesault not holding back one bit, and as we cut to the back here for a moment, we see Bohemoth watching on intently!

(The Metrosexual Monster, sitting back in a chair, has his shades off as he views the monitor, studying the tape as his Anglemania opponent does battle tonight.)

Anglesault brings Zack right up to his feet and nails a release vertical suplex, then brings Zack up again and hits a kneelift that knocks him right back on his back!  He brings Zack up and fires him off into the ropes, but when he drops his head for a backrop Zack kicks it up and follows up with a discus clothesline...but Anglesault catches the arm, kicks Zack in the gut, then tosses him overhead with a belly to belly suplex!  Malibu is rattled, and brings himself up by the ropes...but Anglesault charges and dumps him with a clothesline, sending the champion out to the floor!

COACH
The brotha hasn't lost a step!

COLE
He's certainly holding his own, and you have to wonder if deep down Anglesault is glad that Zack was caught off guard by the announcement, because it could lend to a psychological advantage here!

Anglesault hops out of the ring to retrieve Zack, but when he does, Zack pushes him away, then comes up with a hard chop, then takes 'Sault and throws him right back in under the bottom rope.  Zack follows and slingshots in from the apron with a headscissors, but Anglesault takes Zack's legs and throws him back over, onto the apron!  Zack catches himself and then ducks a blow from Anglesault, dropping and hitting a shoulder to the stomach, then launches himself over with a sunset flip...but Anglesault rolls through and grabs the leg, trying for an ANKLE LOCK~!  Zack kicks him off and rolls backwards to his feet, then catches AS as he comes at him with an inverted atomic drop, then nails him with the leaping lariat after getting momentum from running the ropes!  

COLE
Speaking of advantages, the World Champion is gaining quite a bit of it right now!

Zack hits a kneedrop on Anglesault, then brings him up and staggers him with a European uppercut.  He goes for a suplex, but Anglesault slips behind him, then hooks him for a German...but Zack floats over the attempted suplex, then runs AS to the ropes, looking for a rollup!  'Sault clings to the ropes as Zack rolls back, and when Zack charges him the OAOAST CEO drops down and pulls the top rope down, sending Zack spilling out to the floor once again!

COACH
Quick thinking by the OAOAST's main man!

Anglesault paces the ring, the crowd fully invested into this matchup, a rematch six years in the making.  'Sault heads out of the ring and picks Zack up, suplexing him on the floor!

COLE
Anglesault pulling out all the stops here tonight!

COACH
It's the chance of a lifetime, Cole.  A chance to regain his former glory.  Even against his buddy Hack Malibu, he can't be too lenient with his offense!

Malibu howls in pain, cringing as pain shoots up his spine.  Anglesault brings him up, and continuing with the focus on Zack's back, rams him into the apron!  He then shoves Zack under the bottom rope, back into the ring.  He goes and hooks Zack's leg again, but Zack lunges for the ropes, looking desperately for something to grab onto.  He squirms and manuevers as Anglesault tries to lock the leg, but Malibu manages to roll over...but as he goes to kick off this time, Anglesault hooks the other leg and catapults Zack over the ropes!  Zack grabs on, and SKINS THE CAT~! back in, catching Anglesault by the head and snapping him to the canvas with a headscissors!  Anglesault rolls across the canvas, and when he gets to his feet, he's met with a dropkick!  He gets up again, and this time it's a European uppercut that floors him!  Zack then goes to pick AS up, but when he does, Anglesault hooks him by the head and rolls him up with a cradle!

ONE!

T-KICKOUT!  

The two get up, but immediately Anglesault hooks Zack, and brings him over with a Northern Lights suplex!

ONE!

TW-NO!  Zack bridges up, and twists around so that he brings Anglesault's shoulders to the mat with a backslide!

ONE!

T-NO!

Anglesault kicks out, and as they get to their feet again, drives a knee into Zack's stomach, then hooks the waistband of his tights and swings him chest first into the turnbuckles!  Zack staggers back, right into a German suplex by Anglesault!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

COLE
It looks like friendly sportsmanship is turning into a game of one-upsmanship!

Anglesault gets up and looms over Zack, rolling him onto his stomach and then unloading with crossface shots to his opponent!  Zack tries to cover up, and manages to slide out behind Anglesault, yanking his legs out from under him!  Anglesault comes up stunned, and Malibu hits a jawbreaker to keep the tide in his favor, further rattling the former aWo leader!  Zack gets to his feet, and when Anglesault turns to him he's wide open for SCHOOL'S OUT...but Anglesault catches it and spins him around right into an ANGLE SLAM~!

COACH
He hit the slam, Mikey Cole!

Anglesault covers, hooking the leg for all it's worth, as the crowd chants along!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!  SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND!

COLE
Zack Malibu kicked out of the Angle Slam!  

COACH
The same move Zack uses as a tribute to Anglesault nearly just cost him his World Heavyweight Title!

Anglesault brings a weary Zack up and sends him to the corner, then nails him with a lariat as he's pressed against the turnbuckles!  Anglesault then sets Zack up on the top, hooking for a superplex, but Malibu fights off, driving his fist into the ribcage of AS!  'Sault responds by hammering Zack across the back, but Malibu makes a desperate shove and sends Anglesault to the canvas!  Anglesault lands on his feet and goes charging in, but Zack delivers a kick to stun him, then hooks him for a Tornado DDT...but Anglesault throws him off!  Zack moves for him, but Anglesault drives a knee into the gut, then swings around Zack...GERMAN SUPLEX!  AS hangs on, and both men come up...GERMAN NUMBER TWO!  He rolls them to their feet again, but this time Zack starts firing back elbows, freeing himself from Anglesault's grasp, then goes around...GERMAN SUPLEX FROM ZACK!  THEN TWO!  THEN THREE!  THEN FOUR!  THEN...ANGLESAULT KICKS BACK, CATCHING ZACK LOW!  

COACH
Haha, I don't think I ever liked Anglesault as much as when I just saw him do that!

COLE
In the heat of a battle like this, you've got to pull out all the stops, but Anglesault just fouled his best friend!

With Zack doubled over, Anglesault stuffs him into a headscissors, then powerbombs him to the canvas, and hangs onto the legs so that he can segue into the ANKLE LOCK~!

COLE
He's got it locked!  He finally snared Zack in the trap!

Anglesault wrenches, as Zack screams out, his fingers not even close to grazing the ropes!  Zack stretches as far as his body will take him, scraping his chest across the canvas as he tries to reach the bottom rope...but Anglesault rears back, dragging Zack away from the ropes!

COLE
Could we see Anglesault vs. Bohemoth at Anglemania?  Can Zack last while trapped in that devestating hold?

Zack howls in pain as he pushes up off the canvas, managing to get on one foot, and he hops up and CRACKS Anglesault with an enzugiri to break!  Malibu hobbles away, limping noticeably, showing the effects of the hold.  Just then, Anglesault shoots for the leg, trying to take Zack down, while Zack relentlessly hammers him across the back to drive him off, then traps Anglesault's arms and hits a series of knees before carrying him over with a butterfly suplex!  Anglesault comes to his feet, yanking himself up to a standing position with the aid of the ropes, and Zack is right there to Irish whip him across the ring...NO!  'Sault reverses, and ducks, allowing Zack to leapfrog...BUT HE COMES DOWN ON THE BAD ANKLE!

COACH
He's hurt!  Right there, Mikey Cole, Zack's hurt!

Zack winces, and as he ducks to favor his leg, Anglesault rushes up behind him...ANGLE SLAM~!...NO, ZACK SLIPS OUT...ANGLE SLAM BY MALIBU~!  COVER!

ONE!  

TWO!

THREE!

DING!  DING!  DING!

COLE
He got him!  I don't know whether he was hurt on that or not, Coach, but that little sequence just led to a successful defense for our World Champion!

Zack sits up, and upon hearing the sound of his music, breathes a sigh of relief.  The referee hands Zack his prized possession, and helps him to his feet, raising his hand to signify victory.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and STILL the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Zack heads up to the top rope with his belt, holding it high as flashes from cameras explode, along with the cheers of the crowd.  Zack comes down the ropes and looks at Anglesault, groggy and just getting to his feet, and he offers his hand to his old friend.

COLE
That's what it's all about, right there.  Past and present, in the ring, with a mutual respect for each other.

Anglesault looks at Zack's hand, then at his other hand, which is holding the title belt that he once proudly held.  Anglesault then nods his head in approval and grabs Zack's hand, shaking it and pulling his friend into a hug.

COACH
Ugh, Brokeback Mountain 2 did not need to happen here!

COLE
Stop it, would you please?

Anglesault raises Zack's arm, again showcasing the victorious champion en route to Anglemania, and a matchup with another man called friend.

COLE
Malibu with a big win here tonight, and he's certainly got momentum in his favor as we head to the big one...ANGLEMANIA.  We've got one more stop before then, and it's next week, same time, same channel.  Join us for more OAOAST HeldDOWN~! fans, we'll see you next week!